


A Time to Pass Away

by goldensummertime



Series: A Slightly Different Verse [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Spoilers, Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Awakening Spoilers, Kissing, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, but only minor for revelation, light cursing, slight suggestive themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-02 22:19:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 208,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10228793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldensummertime/pseuds/goldensummertime
Summary: Selena knows that she'll only be in Lady Camilla's service until their mission is over, but until then, she's going to try her hardest to please. She's got too much to lose anyway, like her life and her happiness, but only Camilla is really deserving of her attention, right? No one else could possibly attain that rank.Though, sometimes fate has other ideas.-Rated M for chapters 4, 14, and 25Canon divergence begins at chapter sixteen.





	1. Taking Off from Port

**Author's Note:**

> "Aren't you working on another fanfic?" lol  
> "Aren't you the only one who likes this ship?" lol  
> I keep thinking about this one Lon'quXCordelia ship that I read a few years ago (How to fall in love with him in a fortnight or something, check it out) and I really like the idea of developing side relationships without taking use of the actual story, by which i mean the maps.  
> I can write fight scenes, but everyone plays through those. Yall know what happens.  
> I'm going to do the same with SelenaXJakob because, for whatever reason, this is my second favorite ship. Or something. Idk.  
> This takes place in conquest for two reasons: selena doesn't exist in birthright (basically), and I haven't played through revelations. My wallet cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited a few lines here and there. I'm still not completely happy with this chapter plot-wise, but it's a good starting point, and Selena seems less ooc than before.  
> First chapters are always my weakness though.

Selena _really_ hadn’t expected any of this.

First off: she was part of another war. It wasn’t completely unexpected at least. Being in Nohr for a few years had brought a few things to light. They were a country that practically begged for war, even if it was really only the higher-ups that had the bloodlust necessary to actually fulfill that dream. Camilla had told her as much, Xander had told her as much, and Leo alluded as much. Elise was innocent and cute, so she hadn’t.

Selena thought of Lissa each time she saw her, or at least the Lissa that she had gotten to know in the past.

Secondly: Kamui, the trapped princess that Selena had only really talked to a few times (and had been promptly forgotten, naturally) had actually sided with Nohr. Had she been in the princess’s shoes, she would have turned tail to Hoshido. Garon was insane.

Not like she would ever actually say that aloud in front of the siblings ever. Leo and Xander were still off gallivanting somewhere, though, and Camilla could probably appreciate the humor.

Thirdly: why in Naga’s name had it taken so long for them to actually get onto the stupid ferries? This was the least important issue in her mid, but it was still annoying as heck.

At least Beruka was fast on a wyvern and Selena was able to show her skills in battle, the only thing she would ever really be skilled at. Stupid Hoshidans.

Oh wait. Then there was the whole matter of the astral realms.

They were almost like the outrealms that Selena had traveled through a few times, but instead of going into other places, they was more like small dimension pockets that existed in the world. She supposed if she had to liken it to something, it would be like those air caves in an ocean.

Kamui tripped over a crate and Jakob was immediately at her side.

Selena snorted under her breath. There lie another issue.

The people of Nohr were certainly… More colorful than Ylisseans. Save Odin of course. And Laslow. Yarne was pretty strange too. And she supposed Noire and her mother were also.

Actually, people were just strange in general.

“Be careful to not break your ankle Lady Kamui, we have limited resources and I don’t want you going through any pain…”

“I’m fine Jakob, just a stumble.”

While Selena could understand Jakob’s worry toward Kamui, she didn’t understand why he was _always there_. She wondered if the princess could even sleep without him. She certainly wasn’t like that toward Camilla and Beruka wasn’t either, though it was hard to imagine Beruka being anything really.

“Oh, Selena, I didn’t notice you,” the princess muttered, as if broken out of her thoughts. “Weapon sharpening on the journey? Seems smart.”

“Yes, though I assume you won’t have to,” she retorted, though not in a rude way. She met gazes with Jakob. “It’s nice to be alone and free from conversation sometimes.”

“If that is an insult towards me, I will-“

Kamui giggled, clasping a hand on her mouth. “Oh, Selena, Camilla mentioned you had a tongue, but it’s more sly than I expected.”

“I’m surprised it wasn’t Odin who told you,” Selena remarked, biting on the inside of her cheek. “Or Niles.”

“Niles doesn’t say much of anything that has merit,” Kamui replied. Jakob scoffed next to her, a frown on his face.

“Lord Leo doesn’t deserve to have such a perverse retainer at his side. I’m glad that you are able to keep a manageable distance from him, Lady Kamui.”

“Your loyalty is admirable, if not nauseating,” Selena muttered under her breath. “Do you have any hobbies that don’t involve service, Jakob?”

That seemed to really get under his skin and he visibly bristled at her words, clenching his fists and a frown overtaking his face. “I’ll have you know that each of my hobbies is specially crafted and heightened to their extreme purpose in order to-“

Kamui patted him on the arm, interrupting his speech. “She’s trying to get at you.” Kamui smiled at Selena, but it seemed more muted than before and Selena realized that she had pushed the butler a little too far. Perhaps that was just how she was, but she had been trying to work on that. Oh well. “We should arrive at our destination fairly soon, but there’s enough time for a small nap if you need one. I know that my sister’s probably been working you hard, not to mention the fight will have taken a toll on you…”

“Not really. It wasn’t that bad. For me anyway."

Of course, she was being serious. The bad future had been literally the worst thing to ever experience. The hurry to grab a ferry seemed small in comparison. Kamui wouldn’t think so, though.

“Well, I’m glad that nothing happened to you at least.” She smiled again and Selena remembered the few times that she had smiled to her while visiting at the fortress.

It had seemed more pure then.

Good riddance.

She turned to walk away and Jakob shot one last sneer toward Selena. She guessed that their fighting together in battle hadn’t done anything to build a relationship. She had teased him at the fortress and castle as well, of course, but he was fun to annoy.

‘You two work well together!’ Odin and Kamui had affirmed, but Selena wondered how long that would last.

They had soon arrived at the target city. Selena hadn’t taken a nap of course. She could sleep when she was dead. It was tiresome to be in another war, but there was a promise she had to keep at the very least.

“Ahoy, fated friend of the shadows! We have touched base at the land of dreams and wishes!” Odin appeared in the forefront of Selena’s view, posing as normal, blabbing on as normal. “How goes your own conquest?”

“Odin, you know I’m just here to follow orders,” Selena sighed, picking herself up off of the crate she had been sitting on.

Nohrian weapons were more durable than Ylissean ones for whatever reason, but sharpening them still had benefits. She stowed away her whetting stone, meeting Odin’s excited gaze with thinly veiled annoyance. “What?”

“I see you and Jakob are enjoying each other’s company.”

“It’s not my fault he passed out behind me. I guess he was tired of taking blows from me and forfeited.”

“Blows, huh?” Niles chuckled. “My, what fun you two must-“

“Can it,” Selena sighed. She did _not_ want to deal with him right now. “What does Kamui want us to do?”

“I assume she wants us to dig around, bring our fellows from their slumbers,” Niles mused, looking around. “Of course, she didn’t say how.”

“I will cast a ginormous spell and bring back our allies from the brink of their nightmares!” Odin posed again, waving his hand ominously.

After the army had been reassembled, everyone took their first steps in Notre Sagesse. Selena noted the mist in the air. It was fairly humid and might pose some sort of issue if they were to be suddenly attacked. At least her throat wouldn’t hurt, but that didn’t provide too much relief. Kamui and Silas were talking near the front of everyone, flanked by Elise and Camilla. Selena was almost surprised that Jakob wasn’t up there as well, considering his ‘undying devotion’, but apparently he had seen it more fit to tail her for a change.

“No matter how hard you stare at the back of my head, I’m not going to compliment you. Or whatever you want me to do.”

Jakob stumbled slightly, but recovered quickly, a miffed expression still on his face. “Why didn’t you wake me? I needed to be up and ready at Kamui’s beck and call.”

“You’re no used tired and half-functioning,” Selena retorted, touching the hilt of her sword out of habit. “If there’s an opportunity to sleep and it can be taken, then it should.” She smirked. "Of course, someone like me doesn't need the help."

In the bad future, there was hardly any time to rest. She had almost gotten used to it, but she had probably been sleeping better than Jakob recently at any rate.

No matter how he did in battle (better at supporting than anything, Selena figured), he would be better alive than dead.

Jakob huffed at her comment. “You should have been anyway. Trying to one-up me?”

“No!” Selena grit her teeth. “There’s no need to try at that when I excel naturally.”

“Why you-“ Jakob stopped mid-sentence as the army stopped moving. Selena nearly slammed into Odin’s back, the mage having gone so far as to back-step.

Beruka sighed, eyes blank. “Looks like Kamui has a plan.”

Selena hummed, glared at Jakob one last time, and began ignoring him.

The army split up into separate groups naturally and were promptly informed of the plan, along with orders for survival, given preperations.

“Wait, we’re gonna _what?_ ” Selena gawked as soon as Azura had told her of the plans to climb a freaking mountain that was known to kill most who stepped foot on it.

“Yes, we have to climb this mountain in order to save the Rainbow Sage and take on the Hoshidan army.” Azura paused, wringing her hands. The singer sure was pretty, but that much stress on one person couldn’t be healthy, Selena figured. “That was why there wasn’t any resistance when we arrived here. Takumi’s army was supposed to serve that purpose.”

Camilla patted both Beruka and Selena’s shoulders. “I know my precious retainers can make the trip. Beruka has a wyvern, and Selena is one of the hardiest women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.”

Selena felt her mood drop. This would be a difficult travel, not to mention they had to be fully armed to meet any Hoshidans that would be scattered around the mountain. “Wait,” she turned to face Camilla, “if barely anyone survives the travel up the mountain, why would the Hoshidans even go? Why would we assume that they make it perfectly fine? Actually, what the heck?”

“The Rainbow Sage makes his home there,” Azura explained, her peaceful expression coming back, “and the Hoshidans can use it as a stronghold. And, though people have died making this journey, there is strength in numbers and the people in this vanguard are hardly normal people, as is the Hoshidan army. Kamui has faith. As do I.”

Camilla chuckled, rubbing Selena’s shoulders. “Aw, you’re so cute when you worry.”

“W-well,” Selena stammered, running a hand over her cheek in embarrassment, “it’s only the natural thing to do…”

“The natural thing to do is start making the journey to vanquish the enemy and finish the mission,” Beruka quipped, face blank.

“Beruka… No.”

Selena noticed Jakob prepping Kamui, strapping her armor down as Elise and Silas continued chatting with her. The butler seemed perturbed about something.

Selena supposed anyone would worry about an oncoming fight.

Anyone but her, anyway.


	2. Spend-Thrift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is triple the word count of last one haha.  
> The more I think about it, the more I'm really not liking the first chapter, so I'm just going to move on. It felt slightly ooc for Selena and maybe Jakob, but this chapter feels much more natural.

Kaze looked rather rankled as Jakob, Silas, and Camilla stared him down. Selena was glad that she hadn’t been put in a situation like that before, but it was all fairly suspicious.

Kamui said that Kaze was trustable and didn’t mean her any harm, or anyone else for that matter, but he was a ninja. Ninjas were assassins on a good day. Selena had no clue what they did on a bad day, but she figured that was for someone else to experience.

She twirled her pigtail, a frown on her face, eyes closed to the world. What would he even hope to gain by joining them? Hoshido was obviously the better off country if they were able to easily counter a war effort (or even just a vanguard) as they had been doing. Certainly, Kamui’s way of going about battle was commendable, but enough to cause a turncoat to show his colors?

She wondered if anyone from the Nohrian side would turn tail and flee. It would be a smarter option for some troops, she figured, at least if Garon wasn’t the king.

Screw Garon. He reminded her of Validar. Validar was insane.

“Kamui granted me my life. I was spared along with my comrade Rinka. I owe her my life, which is one… The reason why I decided to join her.”

“Is that the only reason?” Niles drawled from his place leaning up against a tree.

Kamui hadn’t wanted to spend the day hiking down the mountain again, opting for a night at the astral realm, and the army had rejoiced. Or at least Odin, Elise, and Silas had. Selena shook her head. It didn’t matter much, how this astral realm worked. She couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

“Yes,” Kaze responded after a short pause. “I honor her. She is unlike other Nohrians.”

Camilla smiled, rubbing her neck with a light hand. “Of course. She is Nohrian through and through.”

“By exposure only,” Kaze added, and Selena feared for the ninja’s life for half a second. “However, her allegiance is clear. I only wished to follow her on her journey…”

“Why risk your life for such a purpose?” Silas prodded, a confused look on his face resting on his hand. “Certainly, this is a great opportunity for an assassination attempt, and the means of your…. ‘betrayal’ are rather questionable. Great timing, I would say if I believed you completely.”

Selena sighed and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “This isn’t going to go anywhere.” The group of five looked towards her, some confused and some annoyed. She shrugged at Jakob’s glare. “Ninjas are trained to not talk. That’s one of their purposes.” She looked toward Camilla and Niles. “I figure a stern watch would be better, at least until his allegiance could be proven.” She winked at the outlaw. “That’s your profession, isn’t it?”

“A profession perhaps, but a hobby it is not,” Niles sighed, straightening up. “Lord Leo will no doubt join us soon, and if the ninja sticks with us that long, my time will be strained.”

“Well, hopefully this dude,” Selena toed Kaze’s knee, causing him to withdraw slightly, “can prove to us, if not Kamui, that he means no harm.” She kneeled down to look at him in the eye. “We Nohrians are a mistrustful bunch.” She paused for effect. “You’ll have to do a good job.”

Kaze gulped, but Selena nearly missed it, only noticing perhaps as a result of her many years under stress of war. He was good at keeping his emotions under control, she mused. Kaze cleared his throat and met her gaze with determination. “I will do whatever it takes to prove my allegiance. I owe Lady Kamui that much…”

She barely caught the second half of his sentence and probably wouldn’t have been able to if she wasn’t standing in front of him already. She decided not to comment on it though, it wasn’t a bad thing.

“If I catch you even looking at Lady Kamui wrong, I’ll skin you and slit your eyes,” Jakob threatened before standing up and heading away to do his weekly duties.

Niles shrugged. “I guess I’ll agree with mister Salt over there.” He chuckled for added affect, twirling a knife. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten real violent.”

Selena gave a sigh before straightening up herself and shooting Niles a judgmental look. “Don’t you have enough time to do that while fighting? It’s life and death after all.”

“Nah, Kamui doesn’t want us killing any Hoshidans, so I haven’t really had the chance to stretch my wings. Course, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures, and hopes can’t always be met.”

She shuddered internally. Whatever Leo kept this guy around for, she couldn’t make a guess. She shot one last look toward Kaze, feeling almost a stab of pity for him, before she turned around and made her way to the mess tent to start her next shift.

. . .

Selena stretched as she knelt next to a small pond in the astral realm, crescent moon reflecting off the rippling waters as she dipped her hands in, swirling around the liquid.

“Malleable, huh?”

She heard the grass shift next to her and turned her head to notice Kamui sitting next to her, a small smile on her lips. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Selena blinked for a few seconds, angling her head to the side, before shaking it, loose hair falling around her face. “Course not. Even if I did, I couldn’t stop you. You’re the princess leader after all.” Kamui sunk into a sitting position, leaning her elbow on top of her knee, letting her wrist dangle in the slightly chilled air.

There were a few seconds of silence between the two before Kamui leaned back slightly on her hands, clearing her throat as she did so. “He died in my arms.”

Selena looked toward her chatting partner, a slight jolt of shock in her chest before it died down. She looked toward the princess, an eyebrow arched up in confusion. “…He?” How vague.

“The Rainbow Sage,” Kamui clarified, sending a small smile to her. Her lips may have been turned up, but her eyes betrayed her real feelings: scared, broken, saddened. Perhaps a hint of fury. She turned back, looking out to the forest beyond the bounds of the border. “He did it to spare me. Spare me the pain of killing another.”

“He wouldn’t be sparing you,” Selena muttered, looking to the side, away from the princess. “You already have.”

She paused. “That is true. But at least I haven’t murdered anyone.” She took another long, drawn out pause that made Selena reconsider her sentence. “At least not yet.”

“War is hell…” Selena said, mostly to herself, reflecting the words of her old commander. “Even more so in a situation like this.” She shrugged callously. “It’s only to be expected.”

Kamui leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her legs, looking closer to her age for once. Selena paused in confusion, feeling as if she had broken a line.

“I’ll have to kill my siblings,” Kamui forced out, voice soft and broken. “I’ll have to kill those who serve my siblings. My people.” Her voice cracked. “No matter what path I take, it leads to unhappiness… Just how many more will I have to tear through...?”

Selena sighed before scooting slightly closer to the princess. She didn’t touch her. “You have all of us, anyway. We have bodies to lean on, shoulders to cry on.” She trailed off, looking to the side, at the sky. “I know you don’t know all of us very well, but…” She exhaled. “We trust you to lead us. Sure, we have to, but we do anyway.”

Kamui shuddered, pulling herself closer in. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“I didn’t say you had to do it alone.” She flinched back as she realized what she had said. She angled her head in the other direction, huffing as she did so. “You have the Nohrian royalty. Jakob. Certainly Felicia and Flora too. You have people.”

Kamui looked at the mercenary out of the corner of her eyes and the moonlight reflected off of them, sending a strange shade of red to Selena’s view as she looked back. Selena sighed again, agitation dying off, and she leaned back. “No one is truly alone. Even those on the other side. At least that truth stands.”

“But who will be left alone in the end?”

“That I can’t answer.”

Kamui stretched out, fanning her hands over the grass and smoothing it out. “Jakob and Silas told me that you, Odin, and Laslow have hidden pasts.” Selena stiffened. “Is that why you and Odin always seem… Sturdy?”

“Well…” Selena paused, unsure of how to continue. “Well, if you’re broken once, it takes something even harder to do it again.” Selena smiled, certain that her nervousness was carried through the action. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” She asserted with a hand motion for emphasis.

Kamui looked downtrodden at that remark, and Selena leaned back again. “I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s the others who should be sorry. And me.”

Following another natural break in the conversation, Kamui decided to bring up another subject, one that reminded Selena of something closer to home.

“The seal of flames? Sounds like the Fire Emblem.”

Kamui blinked. “I don’t know what the fire emblem is, but the Rainbow Sage said something about the seal of flames, and how I needed to find another hero to unlock my powers.” She shrugged, looking defeatist like an ordinary soldier instead of a manakete lord. “I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m just a pawn.”

“Well, the pieces will fall into place,” Selena said while smirking at the princess. “Fate has a way of doing that. But it’s not like I would know or anything…”

Kamui stood up and a faint gust of wind passed through her hair, causing it to ruffle and turn in the wind, her undone curls floating like seeds in a breeze. A chill ran over Selena’s skin and she rubbed her arm. The princess brushed her hair back behind her ear, seeming more like an adult than ever.

“Lady Kamui…” Selena stood up, standing slightly over her height. “How old are you exactly?”

“Me? I’m twenty.”

“Ah.” _Makes sense. Nowi and Nah were the same, I suppose._

“Why do you want to know?”

“No reason, really.” Selena shot her a sad smile, reflecting in her eyes. “You’re too young to break. I’m sorry.”

Kamui looked down at the grass, copying the same sad smile. “Perhaps I broke long ago.”

After she saw off Kamui to her room in the treehouse (which was rather strange by Selena’s standards, but it was something she could overlook), Selena walked around the campgrounds, making sure that everything was in position, or at least looked proper enough. There were a few night shifts that had been handed out and Selena noticed Niles and Arthur taking turns walking around the border. Kaze was walking with Niles.

“Man, it’d certainly suck if that was me,” Selena muttered, mostly to herself.

“That _was_ you for a little bit of time, if what Effie and Niles have said is true,” a voice came out from her right, causing Selena to jump and whip out a knife. Jakob took a step back, not startled like her, but annoyed at the show of violence.

Selena clicked her tongue and sheathed her knife, straightening up again and shifting her feet out of a ready position. “Don’t scare me like that if you value your life.”

“There is no one in here but allies, save one ninja that you already had your eyes on,” Jakob retorted as quickly. “Your tenseness is undue and, frankly, unwanted.”

Selena crossed her arms. “Did you come out here to argue or is there another issue that is actually worth discussing? I don’t have all night. Or time. Or patience.”

“You seemed like the kind of person to squander time,” Jakob muttered, getting one last retort out, much to Selena’s chagrin, before he loosened his own position. “I was wondering what you and Lady Kamui were talking about.” He paused. “The attack on Notre Sagesse has run her ragged, both physically and emotionally.”

“I’m not sure,” Selena admitted. “We mentioned the seal of flames, then she…” She shook her head. “Everything’s just so strange. I can cope with it at least, being me, but I’m not on the receiving end of King Garon’s orders. He’s crazy.”

Jakob crossed his arms in agreement. “Even at the fortress, I rued the day orders came from King Garon. Perhaps he may have been a light in his earlier years, but now… Those days are long gone.”

Selena sighed, rubbing her neck. “Reminds me of my past a bit… I wasn’t forced to do things like this, of course, but I fought someone like him once.” She paused to consider her words. “He was crazier though. Garon seems to consider how his army works at least a little more.”

Jakob looked at her through the corner of his eyes as he turned his head toward the treehouse. “Your past is shrouded in mystery. As is Odin and Laslow’s. Why is that? Do you have something to hide? Something that would get you killed?” He paused, suspicion shining in his eyes. “Something that would cause us to kill you perhaps?”

“Not anything like that. Not killed from treason at least,” Selena admitted. “It’s something I would rather not share though. Odin and Laslow are the same. And it’s not like you need to know anyway.”

Jakob huffed, more so a sigh if anything Selena supposed, but stopped showing signs of aggression. “Well, if I have any reason to believe any of you pose a threat to Lady Kamui, I’ll-“

Selena waved her hand in Jakob’s face, “Yea, yea, you’ll kill us and what not.” She sighed and shook her head with exaggeration. “I thought that we being retainers of the princes and princess would have at least lent some credence to our existence here.”

“Never. That is why I am Lady Kamui’s retainer.”

Selena couldn’t argue with him. His loyalty to the princess was the one thing about his personality that Selena could pin down for certain, other than how he didn’t respond to criticism well. She had picked that up while watching him argue with Niles. Although, Niles was Niles.

“Well, at least with you by her side, she won’t die,” Selena supposed, turning away. “Whether that’s good or not is yet to be seen.”

“Cryptic words are not good for this army, Selena,” Jakob answered to her back. “I hope your loyalties align with us, if not Nohr.”

She sighed and stopped walking, but didn’t turn to face the butler. “Don’t worry. They do.” _For now._

She woke up in the morning rather tired, but that was only to be expected. Kamui was taking a day to work through materials and further preparations, knowing that the time in the astral realm worked differently than normal time. It still didn’t make any sense to Selena, but she figured that she’d take this day off to do something. She didn’t know what, but something. She crossed her arms while leaning up against a tree. Her weapons were all ready for a fight, there weren’t any glaring chores that she needed to finish.

“Well, I guess I’ll just go shopping.” Selena gripped her purse in between her fingers, feeling the satisfying feel of various coins in her hand.

When she, Laslow, and Odin had arrived in Nohr, they had barely anything to their name other than talent. While that talent could buy them work and the like, it had been hard to scrape buy until they had managed to make their way to the castle. After that, it was easy floating, especially for Selena, who had fallen into retainer work easily. “Well, I’m great at a lot of things. Serving others, while rather derogatory for my rank, is also naturally easy.”

Of course, her mother was naturally better, but Selena was still expanding her utilities.

“Wow, maybe this war is getting to me.” She reflected a bit on the night before. It wasn’t like her to provide tidbits of information to others, especially people who she didn’t know too well. “I guess Kamui really does have a relaxing effect.” It was hard not to feel for the princess, especially when under a tyrannical force, no matter how light comparatively it was. Xander, Camilla, Leo, and Elise would disagree about Garon’s harshness in instruction and order, but Selena was pretty sure that most people she had talked to thought he was scary and a little off his rocker.

Odin agreed with her when she said he reminded her of Validar. “It’s not like we can do anything, though,” Odin argued. “He’s the king, and we have to follow him.”

She hadn’t quite expected being on the other end of the stick, but whatever, it didn’t matter now. She was under Kamui’s command, at least in battle.

“Selena, do you want transportation to another astral realm today?” Lilith asked her with her peppy, high pitched voice.

“Yea, I need to do some shopping.” She glared at the dragon after it twirled in the air. “I’m serious!”

“Whatever you say, Selena.” Lilith waved her tail, opening a small portal. “I’ll be closing it in about four hours, so make sure to get back by then.”

“Course I can, I’m not stupid with time,” Selena muttered before taking a step through the portal.

The astral realm that she entered was fairly nice, probably in the middle of spring or summer. It was nicer than the Nohrian air she was used to, anyway. It was rather like Ylisse.

Lilith had informed her than there was a city half an hour from where the portal opened up. Selena had asked why Lilith couldn’t just warp her right to the city, surely there were others used to things like this, but the dragon had disagreed. “There’s no need to frighten anyone or anything. Besides, you can enjoy a nice walk!”

Selena disagreed, but that wasn’t important now. What was important was that she find something interesting to purchase. Something unique.

“Wow, these pots are really pretty,” Selena muttered to no one in particular as she knelt down to observe the patterns imprinted into the dried clay. It wasn’t quite like anything she had seen before. Perhaps the patterns could compromise the integrity of the surface, but they were certainly something else to look at.

“Yes, they’re used with the finest pigments in order to release the natural color of the earth that is used in creation!” The shopkeeper beamed in pride as Selena stood back up, observing the other various pots that were littered on the ground and counter.

“How much are they?”

The shopkeeper gestured to the left. “These larger ones are fifteen gold, while the smaller ones up here are only seven gold, a good deal!”

She didn’t really have enough to squander all of her money on pots, but the smaller ones struck her eye more than the larger ones. “Well, there’s no way I can buy more than one large one, but I’m interested in these smaller ones.” There was something she could do with them, at least. Selena didn’t know yet, but she wasn’t a future predictor or anything.

“Squandering your money again, Selena? I expected nothing less.”

Selena puffed out her cheeks before looking indignantly at the perpetrator. “Since when have you seen me squander my money? And expected nothing less? That’s low for you.”

Jakob sighed and looked to the side, boredom written all over his face. “I’ve taken turns at each store in the astral realm, as you would know since you shop there often enough, and the way you use your money with reckless abandon is terrifying, if not disturbing.”

Selena paused, feeling the pinpricks of anger dig at her nerves. “W-well, it’s my money. I can spend it how I want! And I’m spending it on these pots.” She set three small ones to the side, and moved a fourth large one.

“What in gods’ names are you even going to do with so many pots?” Jakob looked at her with a judgmental look, as usual. It was the only look she’d ever seen him wear.

“Well, isn’t that something you figure out after you buy them? Jeeze!” Selena turned away, counting her coins. She could fit at least one other pot in the large one. That would make carrying a little bit easier.

She looked up again to find Jakob crossing his arms. “Pray tell, how do you plan to carry all of this refuse back with you?”

“W-well, I’ll find a way!” Selena turned, counted her money for a few more seconds, the sliding of the coins slightly comforting, before she angled her head back toward him. “Oh wait, did you come over here to help me? I hadn’t considered that…” While he was helpful toward Kamui of course, she had hardly seen him helping anyone without direct order from the princess. He was even downright stubborn with Silas. However, considering how she had helped them both before and after boarding the ferries, downright heroic she might add, perhaps he had figured he owed her something.

“What?” Jakob mused aloud, arms falling down to his sides, but his stern expression hadn’t vanished.

“I guess I should apologize for being rude, I didn’t think you were here to help me, just to insult me or something. Guess I underestimated you.” She straightened up, putting coins in piles on the table. That was two small pots covered.

“Oh no, you estimated me perfectly!” Selena paused and turned, eyes narrowed, to face him again. He had on one of his stupid smiles full of venom and she tensed at the expression. “I had no intention to help you!” He chuckled, causing Selena’s skin to prickle. “I should have known someone like you would have not had the foresight to plan ahead. Though, also knowing you, I doubt you’ll have the competency to get them all back on your own! Ta-ta.” And just as quickly as he arrived, Jakob was gone, vanishing into the crowd.

“Oh that… I’ll show him!” Selena grit her teeth, but still managed to pay for three small pots. Loathe as she was to admit it, there was no way she would be able to manage the big one.

“Uh… I’m sorry for what happened? But thank you for your contribution.” At least the potter was nice. Selena threw a tired smile their way before continuing on, making sure to buy some vegetables and various small sweets.

It was a difficult task to get all three small pots, her basic groceries, and a few other chore materials back to the main astral realm before Lilith closed the portal, but she had done it. Selena collapsed at the entrance to the portal, bags spilling out around her, and the fish-like dragon twirled around the woman. “Are you ok, Selena? I can go get Kamui if you need help.”

Selena gave a groan, but slowly dragged herself up. Jakob would never let her hear the end of it if she didn’t manage to make it back to her quarters on her own. “No, Lilith, I’m fine. Something like this is easy for someone as capable as me.”

“Well, if you say so,” Lilith chirped, floating softly in the air behind her.

Selena arranged the pots in a small line near the end of her bed. It wasn’t like they were going to adjust sleeping quarters here in the astral realm; this space would be available for them near forever, if what Kamui and Lilith had told the army was true. She straightened up, groceries set to the side, and nodded with a hint of satisfaction.

“Now, what to do with them?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started on chapter three. Idk how it's going to progress.  
> Happy reading~


	3. Greenie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peri is a beast to write. She is so hard, her character is all over the place, and her only gimmicks are 'murder, cooking, and childish'. It's hard to pin down her exact personality.  
> It might seem ooc because I had the WONDERFUL idea to try to fix her character (ground-up) in a fic that doesn't even feature her. TLDR it sucked, i screwed up, and i'm never doing it again.  
> I love Peri, she's my fire emblem face claim (i guess, mod Peri here), but oh boy is she a mess of a character. Xander y. Xander how.  
> I edited the middle part about three times because I just wasn't happy with it. I hope it turned out OK. Felicia and Niles are my saving graces, they're so much easier.

“But imagine, using a princess as bait! That’s something only Gangrel would do!” Selena argued to Odin and Laslow, the latter having finally joined Kamui’s little army. Selena and Odin had been near static to see him, or at least the mage had, and he had shared that happiness in part. Selena was fine without all of the touchy-feely emotions though, but it was definitely useful to have someone to fight with whom she had known for years upon years. There were some techniques that only time could temper.

“Well,” Laslow crossed his arms, leaning back on his heels, “I suppose Prince Ryouma is becoming desperate. Perhaps this war is as grating on Hoshido as it is for Nohr.”

Odin and Selena paused. Odin cleared his throat, looking to the side as he did so. “Nohr only has to gain from this war. Even if we lose soldiers… Well, the gains would outweigh that from a tactical and economic standpoint.”

“Who cares about Hoshido anyway?” Selena huffed while tossing her hand over her shoulder. “They’re being pretty aggressive, asking for one life over another yet operating under a pure veil. They’re deceptive, probably as much as Nohr is.”

Laslow shrugged. “I suppose we don’t have a lot of merit when it comes to judging this world.”

Selena hadn’t read up on any of the countries in this world, not like Odin probably had. She listened to what Camilla and Beruka (rarely) told her and Prince Leo was also open with some facts, but when it came to an unbiased opinion, or even stale facts, she hadn’t received many.

“Well, at any rate, it’s wondrous to be back together! Princes and Princesses born of noble cloth, finally sewn together by the thread of fate!” Odin clapped both Selena and Laslow on the shoulders, smiling all the while. “Perhaps we have some hope of salvation from demons after all!”

“Yea yea, whatever,” Selena said while brushing Odin off of her. “It was only a matter of time before we became war buddies again.” She laughed, hands on her hips. “We’re just too valuable to toss aside!”

“Well, I’d trade that valuableness for a better past any time,” Laslow muttered, letting his head hang slightly.

“Well, we’re all ok which is what matters, friend,” Odin smiled, trying to lift Laslow’s spirits.

At least their group had two more fighters, although Selena had always been a bit wary of Peri, despite what Xander and Laslow had said about her in the past. Someone who liked killing was someone who liked killing, which was rather off-putting.

Laslow looked around the area. “The astral realm is certainly interesting.”

Kamui, Camilla, and a few others were at the surface, making sure that Elise was actually ready to come back to the astral realm for more rest. They would have to take a day or two to recover since the healer was such a vital part of their team. In more ways than one.

Selena sighed, stretching her arms as she sat down in the shade of the tree overlooking the small pond. The fight had been fairly hard since they had to deal with sudden reinforcements, various poisons littered around the area, and Prince Ryouma and his sheer unbridled strength. It was completely insane, and Selena was glad that it was Peri who had been able to defeat him, though she had gotten wounded in the process.

Speak of the devil, Selena could hear her going at it in the kitchen with Felicia. She hoped that the food wouldn’t be burned.

It almost felt strange to sit under the tree without Kamui. It had been… Selena paused. It had been a week or so since Kamui had confided in her. She didn’t know how that fit in with the astral realm nonsense, but it was a week in Selena time. She nodded her head in affirmation, that confidence would have to be enough.

The leaves rustled over her head and Selena looked up just in time to avoid being landed on by the resident ninja.

“Gods Kaze, did you slip or something?” Selena shouted as she brushed small twigs out of her hair, an annoyed look on her face. “If you really did try to off me, Niles will haul your ass over to the prison before you can blink.”

Kaze jumped and looked over his shoulder. “No, I would never do something so brash to harm you, Selena.”

Selena sighed, a bored look replacing her previous anger. The ninja had done quite a lot to prove himself to the army, from small reparations to the buildings, to providing valuable information to Camilla and Kamui about the Hoshidan army, to even helping with small chores and shopping. While those with natural distaste for trust like Niles, Selena, Odin, and Jakob were still wary around him, everyone else was positively estatic. Even Lady Azura, although it was probably because Kaze was there that Azura was more relaxed. “Pray tell, what is the problem then?”

Kaze jumped again, disappearing behind the tree. Or rather, behind to whoever’s gaze he was trying to avoid. “Effie. I’m afraid I have done something to anger her.”

While Effie had wanted to stay at the surface, Kamui had wanted her to be available in the astral realm in case more assailants were waiting their return. There had been a few small attacks, which was why a night patrol existed in the first place, but it wasn’t enough to warrant lots of worry, at least for most.

“Did you take some of her food or something?” Selena was unconvinced.

“No.” Kaze sighed and crossed his arms. “I may have said something unlike me and rather unkind, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what I have done.” He sighed and rested his cheek in the palm of his hand. “Perhaps she is wary of me, having previously served the Hoshidan royal family.”

Selena blinked. She could easily see why women like Nyx and Camilla had said Kaze had a naturally handsome face. However, he was so dense, Selena would never actually go for him, not to mention he was a ninja. “Perhaps.” She shrugged and turned away rather rudely. “Or perhaps she wants to end you for good.” Selena made a show of giggling behind her hand, causing Kaze to stiffen. “I can’t necesarrily blame her.”

“I thought we were on good terms…”

“Oh, go run to Azura and beg her protection. That’s what she’s good at,” Selena spat out. “You two know each other, don’t you? Best is what best does.”

Kaze narrowed his eyes. “I’m afraid I’m not catching your intention. Why are you so blunt about Lady Azura? She has done nothing to you.”

“Forgive me for having misgivings,” Selena drawled, “but you two are Hosidan, at least by nature, so it’s only natural for one to be suspicious. Even if no one else sees the connections, I do, being astute as I am.”

“Is that a threat, Selena?”

“No, course not, I’d never disobey Kamui,” Selena assured, not comforting to the ninja in the least, with a wave of her hand. “But, I’m always on my guard. Maybe I trust Azura, but groups are always more volatile than a single object.”

Kaze sighed, looking to his side at the small pond. “I see I still have a great way to go before my loyalties are fully proven to everyone in this army.”

“Really, what did you expect? Everyone to pass you by with confidence?”

Kaze and Selena met eyes for a few seconds before the ninja disappeared, leaves sent fluttering around the space where he had stood and Selena sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

While she didn’t think Kaze was a bad person, she still didn’t know him well enough to lay enough trust in his loyalties. It was only natural, after all.

Oh well, she may as well go to the kitchen and help out.

Peri was working away, something that Selena had expected having known that the retainer was rather fond of cooking, but what she didn’t expect was that Peri and Felicia were actually kinda getting along.

Felicia was an absolute wreck at cooking and Peri was known to be rather callous to others who weren’t Laslow or Xander, so it was rather refreshing to see the two of them working together.

However, Selena would make an easy replacement for Felicia’s hand in the kitchen. It would be bad if the maid stabbed her foot or something with a stray knife.

“Oh, hello Selena!” The pink-haired maid greeted the newcomer, a small smile on her face. “Peri was just teaching me a few techniques with cooking since apparently I’m hopeless.”

“Yup! Cooking’s no fun if you get hurt and bleed over the food!” Peri smiled and turned back to chopping meat. “You need to hold onto a knife real tight and be careful so that everything is tasty!”

Selena edged closer to the retainer, being careful not to anger her. “What, pray tell, are you cooking? That’s not human meat, is it?”

“Of course not silly! Human meat makes people go crazy,” Peri amended, shoving the meat to the side with her knife near a pile of chopped greens. “It’s meat from the forest. Not sure what animal, but it smells great. And it looks great!” She scooped the ingredients and plopped them in a large pot, handing the dirty knives off to Felicia. “Of course, slicing animal meat isn’t as fun as slicing people in battle, but Laslow said murder was bad.”

“Y-yes, murdering people isn’t natural…” Selena looked to the side, making sure that Felicia was still in her view. “Certainly, it’s vital for survival, but murder isn’t a sport.”

“Well, I think it’s useful to know how to kill someone.” Peri smiled, eyes closed. Selena touched the counter. “But Laslow said it’s not normal. Then he goes off and does stuff like killing others. Unfair.”

Selena blinked, slightly confused, slightly nervous, and a few more parts terrified. While she hadn’t interacted with Peri as much as she had Beruka, there had been a few missions where she had to work with the cavalier, and it was downright terrifying. From what Odin and Niles had told her, Peri was unbridled in killing power and motive, at least on the battlefield.

“Is Laslow helping you with your…” Selena paused, considering her words. “Personality?”

“Well,” Peri turned back to her stew, grabbing some herbs, “I think killing is useful to know. I need to protect Xander after all! He means a lot to me. And he has a family he needs to take care of. Also, I don’t want to die.” She giggled, setting basil to the side. “Dying isn’t fun. But Laslow said he was worried about me.” She paused. “Xander never said stuff like that, but Xander’s always busy.” She puffed her cheeks out. “I don’t like Garon when he makes Xander so busy.”

“Yes… Most people would agree with you.” Selena handed Peri another knife to chop the herbs after the cavalier looked around a bit to no avail. “Why did Laslow say he was worried about you?”

“He said I wasn’t normal, and in a bad way.” She sighed, letting some crocodile tears sink out, Selena was sure. “Odin isn’t normal at all, and Niles is just plain mean, but me being rude to others is weird?”

“W-well, depends on perspective…” She paused. “Though, you’re definitely not normal on the battlefield…” Selena was just about done. She didn’t want to handle another person’s issues, not after Kamui and Kaze, to a point.

“But if mommy was killed, then isn’t it fine if I do the same to others?” She sighed, puffing her cheeks out again. “This is unfair.”

Selena sighed. “Well, as much as I love this gripping conversation, there’s probably other things that I should really get to, so I’ll leave you and Felicia to it.”

“NO, don’t go Selena, I need help with the bread!” Peri grabbed Selena’s wrist, causing her to jump. “Felicia is terrible with bread and I need bread! Help me now!”

“Ugh, fine, but only because I know that Felicia will ruin it otherwise…”

“I’m not _that_ bad!” Felicia countered, having heard the entire conversation.

After Peri went off to fetch flour and other orders, Selena set into a monotony of organizing the kitchen with Felicia, making sure that the maid wasn’t the one handling sharp objects.

“Peri was an absolute force to deal with on the battlefield, but after what I heard of her when I was in the tower…” Felicia paused. “She seems like the type of person to resist change. I wonder what gave her the change in heart?”

“Oh, it was probably Laslow,” Selena huffed, stacking a few plates. “He has ways with girls, especially those he knows.”

“Maybe he has mother problems too?” Felicia stood up, brushing her hair to the side. “A shared thread would be useful, I guess.”

Selena set the plates down, pausing to let her mind wander. “Yes. I suppose.”

“Well, as long as she doesn’t kill any of us…” Felicia sighed shaking her head. “I guess I’ll just have to deal with it…”

Perhaps Peri’s childish behavior couldn’t be salvaged, but if Laslow believed in her, perhaps Selena should too, but not because she was a nice person or anything.

“I’m baaack! With lots of flour!” Peri grunted while letting the sack drop on the floor. “Time to bake! The bread won’t cook itself!”

Peri seemed to be rather adept at all aspects of cooking, Selena noted, as she continued churning out loaf after loaf, the flour bags slowly shrinking. “Aren’t we going to run out of flour at this rate…?”

“Oh, don’t worry, this is the last bread.” Peri finished stirring the flour together. “I think everyone will like the bread.”

Felicia sighed, setting down a bowl before looking over at the various loaves. “Well, at least we’re not going to starve.”

“Yea, and we can make sure the next fight is easy-peasy,” Peri added before setting the flour in another bowl with other ingredients. “Though, Selena and Jakob are good at killing, so we don’t have to worry. And Kamui and Camilla are strong, and Elise heals us, and everyone else is good.”

“Well, of course I’m good at fighting. Why wouldn’t I be?” Selena huffed, making sure to hide her slightly honor for being praised by someone who was arguably more interested in the subject. “But why bring up Jakob and Kamui? Lady Kamui is trying to do the exact opposite of killing, and Jakob is…” She paused. “He’s there I guess.”

“Well, remember when I broke the bad poison pot and got hurt?” Peri pointed out, shoving the dough into the oven over the fire. “You and Jakob covered me while I went back and got healed by Felicia. Hurting others in battle is fun, but getting hurt is not.”

“Well, it’s only natural to help allies.” Selena crossed her arms, turning her head away. “You’ll only drag us down if you’re injured, so it helps me not die.”

“Haha, well, you and Jakob work well together, dodging the enemy and taking them down easily. It’s cool to watch you kill others.” Peri sat down with Felicia and the two of them began discussing their work toward their respective royals and Selena paused to consider Peri’s words more in depth after getting over her initial disgust.

Certainly, she and Jakob were a decent team. He could attack from a distance, which made sure that she could finish off an enemy without either of them getting hurt. If she got hurt, he could heal her, albeit not much. While their strength wasn’t comparable to the likes of Kamui or Camilla, for good reason, they were certainly a dependable team. Perhaps that was why Kamui had paired them up. She had been studying strategy longer than Selena had and while the mercenary had natural experience with strategy, she didn’t know the inner workings of it, not like what Prince Leo, Xander, or Princess Kamui would have. She wasn’t sure about Camilla, Camilla was better on the battlefield than off.

However, those graces only existed while in the heat of battle. Selena couldn’t stand the guy, and for good reason. Anyone with the gall to up and abandon her after slinging insults clearly didn’t know which way was up. Not to mention, he was snarky to anyone without Princess Kamui in their name.

Needless to say, Selena had no clue what Kamui was thinking half the time.

“Hey, do any of you luscious ladies have a meal fit for a poor, suffering soul like me?”

Felicia paused before glancing in Selena’s direction, stiffening from Niles’ remark.

Peri smiled and waved her hand. “Of course Niles, there’s some stew cooking over there. Raw meat is good for digestion after all!”

Peri knew otherwise. Selena knew that she knew. She supposed the retainer was cleverer than she let on, although that probably didn’t extend far.

“Quit insulting us Niles and go cook something yourself. None of us are on cooking duty right now and it’s not mealtime,” Selena snarked back while she leaned up against the wall, crossing her arms again.

“Oh, what a shame,” he responded with a sly tongue and a smirk, looking at her from the corner of his eye. “I was thinking someone as talented and beautiful as you would be able to fulfill one small, selfish request.”

“O-of course I can do something easy like that!” Selena huffed, straightening up from her position on the wall. “But when you ask it in such a raunchy way, the last thing I’m going to do is fulfil your stupid request!”

“If it’s stupid and easy, why don’t you just go all the way and do it?” Niles prompted, the smirk still on his face.

“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” Selena screeched while storming out of the kitchen.

When would Kamui get back from the surface? Or rather, when could they move on?

“I wish this war would just end quickly…”

. . .

Selena flopped down onto her bunk, the night air drawing quickly over the camp, cooling down the residents. Elise, Kamui, Azura, and the other assistants had come back to the astral realm before dinner had set, making Selena wonder how much time had passed for them, and then everyone had gone up to the surface for an hour or two to scout ahead and plan a course of action. Selena was pretty much only there for data on the fighters and she and Jakob had, again, gotten into a small squabble over resource placement that Kamui had to break up herself.

She hadn’t seemed altogether too sad. Selena was confused about that, at least. Whenever she had argued with someone in the past, Lucina had always given her a sad face.

“Hmph, that butler wouldn’t know strategy if it walked up and smacked him in the face.” She couldn’t entirely blame him for that, though. It was good to know that she was better than him with both fighting strength (…for now…) and tactics.

Kamui had expressed her desire for Jakob to spread his wings in other fighting styles and while Selena had been disappointed at the aspect of being eclipsed by another fighter, it would be better for all of them in the long run if they were as powerful as possible. Not like she’d ever admit it though. The princess had suggested re-classing to a paladin, but she wanted him to have access to his weapon of choice, so they were still stuck at an impasse.

Selena didn’t particularly care. As long as everything worked out, she didn’t really care about the specifics, not with classes. As long as hers wasn’t changed at least.

Sure, she had been a swordmaster for a lot of her time in the past in Ylisse, mostly because her father had taught her partially and Robin wanted her to flourish, but she was more comfortable being a mercenary. It felt… like home.

It seemed hard to afford one of the sought-after Heart Seals anyway. Selena was just fine with a master seal, but she didn’t know if she’d do better as a Hero or a Bow knight. The former was more her style, as she had been one in Ylisse, but a bow knight could provide her with some much needed movement and distance.

She twirled her dagger between her fingers, watching the moonlight reflect off of the silver blade. It had been a gift from her mother, one last memento of her first world and a life she would never be able to get back.

It was only sad if she thought about what life could have been. She had reason enough to leave the world once the risen took it over, and saving the world had been something cool.

Too bad she would have to do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEA no more Peri, not a large scene. Not again. Maybe a small interaction since I feel like she and Selena could have interesting conversations, but not this again. Sorry to all Peri fans out there.  
> School's back on track, so I'll have less time to write. (thanks AP stats, love u). However, this is a nice stress reliever, so I feel like it'll keep on going. Just slower updates.  
> Happy reading~


	4. Critical Hit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is the Cheve chapter. Due to this chapter, the fic's rating has to go up to M... Because I suck at ratings and apparently this is actually M stuff? At least in this chapter. Thank goodness for friend's reading things.  
> So yea this fic is M now, but other than violence, it won't go past that (I don't think. I'm not a fan of smut.) So yea fair warning...  
> I suppose I'll update the tags better now, include that there are Awakening spoilers... If there are people into fates who don't actually know what happens in awakening? Idk it could be a thing.

“Hey Jakob, what was the deal with up and abandoning me in the astral realm? You could have seriously done something bad! What if I didn’t make it back in time?” Selena finally pinned Jakob in an inescapable conversation, wanting to put her annoyance in the butler to rest. It wasn’t like she was purposefully seeking him out or anything, but an opportunity had was an opportunity not wasted.

“Well,” he turned, a completely blank, yet somehow still infuriating, expression on his face, “it was beyond my control. You had purchased the goods, so the job of hauling them back fell naturally to you.” He smiled, an expression that was still further infuriating as Selena knew it wasn’t a happy one. “It wasn’t my job to follow you along like a puppy of course. I am Lady Kamui’s butler, not just anyone’s hand. Besides,” he turned away to busy with preparing his equipment, “you’re capable, are you not? That should be enough.”

“I- what?” Selena paused in her argument, her counterpoints already disappearing with the strange turn of the conversation. “Wait, are you complimenting me or insulting me? Because when you abandoned me at the stall you called me incompetent, or alluded closely enough. That’s pretty rude, right?”

“Well, as they say, spite is a wonderful motivator. I’m sure, without the added energy, you wouldn’t have been able to make it back in time. So,” he straightened up and set to another task, “it worked out in the end, no?”

“Well, yea…” She paused to give their conversation more thought. “I guess?”

“You’re strong, right Selena? One of the strongest women in our army, save Lady Kamui, Camilla, and Effie. Do you disagree?”

“Of course not! I’m strong! I’m capable! When it comes to anything, I won’t lose to anyone.” Except for eating maybe, and she was not willing to put her ability to the test against Effie. It was unhealthy at best. And perhaps singing, but there was no way she would ever admit that. Azura just made everyone look bad.

“Precisely!” Jakob turned to her for half a second to shoot her another one of his smiles. “Your feats are well known among our ranks, especially considering you are in service to Lady Camilla. Knowing what I did, I decided that you didn’t need any help and could fare perfectly well on your own.”

“Haha yea-” She paused, the conversation clicking in her brain, and she immediately frowned. “Wait, no! That’s a load of crap! You just didn’t want to help me because you were too inconsiderate and lazy!” She should have known that his about-face was too good to be true. No one changed their actions so quickly, save maybe Niles and he did it for… other reasons.

Jeez, did Jakob have anything better to do with his time other than be two-faced to everyone in the army?

“Ah, what a pity.” He didn’t seem nearly as upset as his words implied, causing Selena to feel another bust of anger coming her way. “I was so close too.” Delivered in almost a monotone, it seemed even more infuriating that if he had been genuine. “Guess you saw right through me.”

“Jeeze, and I was about to thank you for it, you farrow-gobbling figsnort!” She took a step back and crossed her arms, looking indifferent angry to the side.

“Yes, yes, get it out of your system before the battle,” Jakob sighed nonchalantly. He knelt down to grab a few knives that had scattered. “I did mean it, however.” Selena looked slightly in his direction, confused. “About you being strong.”

She tossed her head with a grunt, arms still crossed as always. “Like I believe that…”

Jakob stood up fully, meeting Selena in the eyes as she blushed in slight, awkward, possibly misdirected praise. She pursed her lips, looking quickly in the other direction. “But thank you…”

Jakob slid the knives into his hidden holsters in his jacket, adjusting the positioning. “Well, as far as the next fight goes, Kamui has tasked us with dealing with reinforcements and staying to the side of the front line,” Jakob clarified, disappointment with their position clear in his words.

“Well, it’s Cheve.” Selena uncrossed her arms to lean up against the wall. “From what I’ve heard from Peri and Laslow, it’s a thorn in Nohr’s side.”

“The rebellion in the ice tribes was much easier to deal with,” Jakob sighed while straightening his boots. “There was a fight, yes, but there were no casualties, and the end result was well worth the means. I wonder if it will even be worth it this time.”

Selena sighed. “A job is a job. Besides,” she leaned down to grab her knife, “you and Kamui knew Flora and Felicia well. You had the advantage of trust. Here? We have nothing. No one.”

Jakob sighed again with more sadness in his tone than last time. “I fear for Kamui. Garon has had her go on suicidal missions already, but to have a soul-crushing one is the last straw. If he’s willing to do this, what other ends will he take?”

“Who knows? We can’t predict the future.” Selena shook her head, clearing her head of past thoughts. “We just need to serve Kamui, end the rebellion as peaceful as necessary, and continue on with Garon’s orders. He’ll tire eventually, right?”

They were empty words. Jakob didn’t answer, and Selena already knew the answer to her question. He exited the area, one last sad expression sent her way before she was left to her lonesome.

Selena straightened her armor, making sure to keep it as secure as necessary. From what Kamui had said during the briefing, these Cheve people were angry and willing to fight to the death. It didn’t seem like they were willing to cooperate.

She touched the hilt of her sword, reminded of its weight. While she always kept her knife on her person, it was more comforting to have a larger weapon to protect herself with. Especially since Hans was with them this time. They had met up with his small group en route to Cheve and Selena had immediately hated the guy.

However, he was loyal to Kamui as well as Garon at least. For now.

Camilla had told her retainers that Xander didn’t trust Hans and that the fighter was loyal to Garon and only Garon. Selena supposed his orders were ‘Follow Kamui’. Well, as long as the end justified the means?

Their chances of failure were lowered at least, which would avert Garon’s anger. Selena shuddered.

“Ok, Selena, Camilla needs us now,” Beruka said to Selena, her quiet voice floating over the mercenary’s ears.

Selena stood up and stretched her arms. “Now or never.”

. . .

Jakob slashed the arm of another cavalier, ducking under a lance slash. Selena leapt up from her position, stabbing the soldier in the side, pulling him off of his horse. Blood flowed down her sword and to her hand. She ignored it.

Jakob held his side, having been hit earlier, but not enough to warrant use of their precious supplies, at least not yet. “Kamui said there were reinforcements to the west. We need to challenge the wyverns…”

Selena stepped back, avoiding an arrow. “Lady Camilla and Beruka can deal with them. They have the advantage of speed. We’re needed here while Kamui takes the others to the front to deal with their leader and her guard.”

There was an angry scream from Selena’s left. The border guards must have gone ham on the archer. While Selena didn’t completely trust them personally yet, they were a much welcomed ally, especially since the female seemed to be a fighting force.

Jakob clicked his tongue, stepping back to stand next to Selena to avoid an arrow himself before throwing a dagger in the direction of the archer. “Whatever. As long as I can protect Kamui, I suppose.”

Selena stepped forward to finish off the archer, the bowman having been distracted by the dagger momentarily. “I suppose the ‘no killing’ rule has been temporarily revoked. It’s life or death here.”

Jakob arrived next to her, scanning the area. “Yes, I suppose death is the only way to stop their advance.” He paused. “Three cavaliers to the left, Charlotte and Benny have gone the other direction. Possibly to deal with the townspeople.”

Selena slashed her sword through the air, getting the blood off, or at least most of it. “Well, let’s protect these townspeople, then.”

Thank goodness they no longer had to deal with the archer prince. His strength was amazing, if not terrifying, and Selena really did not need to worry about her life AND her health. She slashed the leg of the first horse, feeling slightly bad for harming the animal, but they could take down the rider easier if it was out of the way. Jakob slashed the neck of the fighter as Selena jumped back to make room, and the enemy collapsed onto the ground, choking on his blood.

“Die Nohrians! We will have our freedom!” The second cavalier seemed angered by his ally’s death, obviously, and caught Jakob’s arm in a sword slash. The butler let out a noise of pain, but merely jumped back to let Selena take care of the enemy.

“Have your freedom in death!” Selena parried a blow, feeling her sword reel with the recoil, and she stabbed the soldier once in the ribs and then in the stomach, pulling him off of his horse.

Jakob had already wounded the last cavalier, but not enough to avoid a struggle, and Selena felt his lance catch on her shoulder. Her left shoulder at least, but it still caused a world of pain. She straightened her sword and ran the soldier through, ending the battle.

“I don’t… Think there are reinforcements… after this…” Jakob forced through gritted teeth. While Selena now had the more grievous injury, he had more of them which would weigh down his performance.

“Well…” Selena sheathed her sword, gripping her shoulder with her right hand, trying to staunch the flow of blood. It warmed her skin through her leather glove. “Can you at least stop this bleeding…? I have a concoction to trade to you…”

“No bother… If I heal you… it returns to me…” At least on the battlefield they worked together. He grabbed the heal staff from his belt, holding it over her shoulder. As it lit up, Selena could feel the magic stitching her skin and muscles together. In the past, she had felt the painful effects of healing, usually from the untalented healers or those who wanted to get the job done as quickly as possible, but Jakob knew how to heal people properly. It never hurt. At least not yet. She figured if he was really angry, that could change.

They both exhaled as their wounds closed up, the pain ebbing to a dull throbbing, though Jakob’s arm continued to bleed. “Well, that’s that.” He put away the staff. “I can fix this up without further healing, though my clothes will be another matter…”

Selena looked at her shoulder. “I suppose I need to get a better shield for next time…” It would take forever to repair her shirt, but better than dying.

“That can probably be arranged, but we might have to diverge funds to elsewhere after this,” he added.

“We should check up on Kamui. Their battle’s probably not over,” Selena clarified. “We need to make sure this rebellion has been properly ended, though considering there aren’t any more reinforcements from this side, I assume it’s at the dying breath.” Jakob nodded his head in affirmation and the pair ran over to where the wyvern rider, assumedly the leader of the rebellion, was being defeated by Kamui and the newest recruit Mozu.

They had come at the tail end of the fight and the wyvern rider was no match for Kamui in her dragon form, a form that still startled Selena and presumably Jakob, as she felt him stiffening next to her. It reminded Selena of her friend Nah, but apparently Kamui needed the dragonstone to avoid going mad. It was strange and she wasn’t willing to let the revelation fall completely to the broadside.

The leader was the last opponent, but Selena noticed Takumi, the Hosidan prince that Effie had defeated, standing to the side, too wounded to continue. After Kamui transformed back to her normal appearance, the pair appeared to share a few quick words before the prince ran off, possibly forced to escape from the army, leaving Kamui, Mozu, and Azura (who had been supporting the pair) to discuss the event among themselves.

Selena had hoped that Kamui would at least capture Takumi and spare everyone yet another grueling fight, but she figured that Kamui’s light bonds were stronger than that.

Jakob and Selena walked over, avoiding the few Nohrian soldiers that were surrounding the pair. Kamui turned to face them, a smear of blood on her face. “Oh great, Jakob, just who I wanted to see…”

“You have an assignment for me, milady?” As willing to obey as always, Selena thought to herself.

“Yes,” Kamui gestured over to the bound Hoshidan soldiers. “I want you to round them up and make sure that none of them are near death. Make sure to take… Scarlet by herself, she’ll need questioning. Or something.” The princess sighed. “I’ll be perfectly honest, I don’t know what Father wants me to do, but quell a revolution I will. I need to check up on our forces, but you and Selena seem able for the task…” She smiled and Jakob bowed lightly.

“Whatever you ask is my command.”

“Yea yea, let’s get this over with,” Selena sighed while waving her hand. She wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the Hoshidans, but as long as they could avoid fighting, it would be fine. Less members to deal with later, she supposed.

It wasn’t too hard to group the Hoshidans together. There weren’t many, probably because their own army (Kamui’s Army? Didn’t quite have the ring that Shepherds did) seemed to have a little more animosity toward them than the Nohrians, though there were less Nohrians comparatively.

Maybe more had died than she thought.

“Well, Scarlet is in the courtyard, or what’s left of it,” Jakob said while standing up to his full height, having finished dealing with item management. “However, we’ll need some proper guards. While Hans is a sight to behold, there aren’t enough Nohrians to fully observe them.”

“Yea, even though we have more able bodied fighters, we’re still outnumbered…” Selena wondered why Garon hadn’t fully funded Hans’s own group. Certainly, Kamui’s Army was rather small (possibly for a reason?), but Hans was Garon’s right hand man, or close enough sans Iago.

Maybe someone had calculated numbers wrong. It was likely that Garon hadn’t known the full extent of the Hoshidan influence as well. That would throw off anything.

Jakob and Selena jumped as a loud, angry scream emanated from the courtyard and met gazes before running over to see what the discussion was about. The Nohrian soldiers didn’t move. Odd…Selena felt worry prick at the bottom of her stomach.

“If you think you can get away with opposing King Garon with no repercussions, you have another thing coming!”

“Hans!” Jakob forced out, ducking around a building to shortcut to the courtyard. There were a fair amount of captured soldiers there and Selena and Jakob both were not willing to let Hans do things unwatched.

Selena grit her teeth. This spelled trouble.

Another scream ripped forth as Selena and Jakob arrived in eye’s view of the area, watching as Hans lifted the leader of the revolt, Scarlet, by her short hair. Her bound arms certainly made it easier, though she wasn’t completely off of the ground yet. Selena stiffened and Jakob froze next to her.

At this point, she and Jakob had two options: watch, wracked by guilt as Hans did whatever he wanted to Scarlet and, by extension, his audience, breaking moral (which was good and ultimately what they wanted), but at the cost of something, or run forth and spare Scarlet Hans’s torture (verbal or otherwise), yet risk being scorned by King Garon themselves and possibly put to death. Being retainers, they had some sort of leeway, but Selena feared something like that wouldn’t be enough when faced with the king.

As it stood, they were too far away to do much, despite standing to Hans’s side. They couldn’t see the wyvern rider’s expression, but Selena felt she could leave that to her imagination.

He lifted the woman up slightly more and she strained against his grip. He leaned down to whisper a few words into her ear before yelling at the audience again. “Your apt punishment is justly deserved! Watch and learn from your mistakes!” He lifted his smaller axe, shifting the weight of it in his hand while lifting Scarlet up even further, the woman visibly straining against her restraints.

“Oh Gods, he’s going to kill her…” Selena barely caught Jakob’s whispered words, but knew the truth enough to figure out herself what was going to unfold.

“Pay for your insubordination tenfold!” Hans screamed out to the crowd, a sickly smile on his face, malice in the eye that Selena could see, and he swung the axe, gouging a mark into the woman’s neck, slicing skin apart and spraying blood onto his hand, his shirt, and her clothes.

It didn’t even go in but an inch.

Scarlet screamed, blood flooding down her side, pain encased in every note. Hans seemed to only revel in the noise and the experience, letting out raucous laughter. The few Nohrian soldiers scattered around, not including the rebels, seemed to share in the same enjoyment.

Jakob was completely still next to Selena as she was. They couldn’t move, the thick tension of the scene riveting them in place like chains of fate. Scarlet’s head started to rip from her neck, skin splitting apart, bonds breaking faster, yet smaller, than a lightning strike, and a choking gurgle made its way from her throat.

Hans swung the axe again, thin blood spattering to the still, dead silent crowd, and Scarlet screamed again, slightly muted compared to before, but containing double the amount of pain and anguish. Her neck was still not even cleaved in half.

Jakob choked next to her and leaned to the side, expelling the contents of his stomach. Selena was still stiff, unblinking, focused on the event, the horrified noises of the captured soldiers beginning to start up, flowing around her along with Jakob’s coughing. She couldn’t really blame him. Had she not watched hordes of people die in similar ways, she would be sick as well.

It didn’t make it any less shocking, though she wasn’t really surprised.

Multiple pleads from the Hoshidans and Nohrian rebels came forth, but in reply the soldiers under Hans’s command in the area sliced down the offenders, adding to the veins of blood running through the cobblestone.

The scent made Selena feel sick.

The axe swung into Scarlet’s neck again, but unlike the last times, all she could muster was a diluted cry of pain, her head nearly cleaved from her neck, but miraculously still alive. Perhaps her neck bone had finally been reached, but Selena began to wonder if the berserker had purposefully used a dulled axe. It seemed likely, logical, and reality-fitting.

She felt the pinpricks of anger pull at her veins.

More Hoshidan and rebel soldiers were being slain, Hans decided to take a blow at Scarlet’s shoulder instead of her neck, ripping muscle apart.

Selena grit her teeth, gripped her knife within her sleeve, hidden purposefully, and strode forward to stand in front of Hans, being sure to avoid looking Scarlet in the eyes, or anywhere near her head. “Hans, finish your nonsense and be done with it. Needless suffering is unnecessary when you’ve already carried out your point.”

“You’re ruining my presentation, servant,” Hans spat at the retainer, annoyed at her show of calm. “Rebellions are like weeds; you need to salt the ground before they sprout. I am doing my duty, as you should be. Back away before I finish you like I am this army.”

Selena stiffened as Scarlet let out another moan of pain. She bit her lip, mustering up her courage. Selena turned quickly, whipping out her knife before shoving it into Scarlet’s unguarded chest. Selena hoped that the woman died immediately, as she did shove the knife to her heart, angled upwards. A tense moment flooded between the two, and even the soldiers paused. She ripped the knife out as Hans tossed the body aside, he visibly angered, but more parts disappointed.

“Hm.”

Selena had wondered if it was an empty threat. Everyone here was terrified and would in no way start another uprising, not with their leader gone, terribly.

“Kill the soldiers.” He paused, something akin to a twinkle in his eye causing Selena’s blood to curdle. “And the villagers.”

Selena stiffened, eyes widening, and Jakob yelled out in argument, but the damage was done. The Nohrian soldiers began tearing away at the unguarded and wounded, slashing everyone, spilling blood in even more quantities than before, running the cobblestones red. The Nohrian army was outnumbered sure, but they had the advantage of weaponry. Hans smirked and walked away, determined to join in himself.

Selena took a few steps forward, holding her dagger in a defense position. “Hans! Hans, stop this! Call off your-guh!“ Selena felt an arm wrap around her midsection and she was yanked back by Jakob with more force than necessary.

“There’s no reasoning with him! We need to get Kamui and Camilla.”

Selena grit her teeth, watching Hans hold up an innocent villager in the same fashion that Scarlet was killed, and watched him cut the man’s head clean off before falling a younger boy.

“Hans! Stop this nonsense!” Jakob and Selena turned as Kamui’s cry echoed over the houses, tinged with fear.

Jakob released her, and Selena gripped the front of her shirt over her heart, feeling a cacophony of emotions hit her chest, causing her bones to ache. Even Kamui wouldn’t be able to stop this. Not even Camilla.

She too would have to shove away her feelings.

. . .

_Oh dear, sweet Naga what have I done!?!?_

Selena curled up on her bed, resting after the fight, clutching her head in complete horror. _Hans could have killed me right then and there, he’ll tell Garon, Garon will off me because he doesn’t care about Camilla enough… The only reason Hans probably didn’t kill me was that he’s more scared of Camilla then he was angry at me…_

She groaned through her teeth, rolling over to spread her arms out, dangling her hands off the edges of her bed. “I’m such an idiot, an idiot who is an expendable fighter, and probably will be laid off soon… Wow I’m stupid.”

At least she had her various objects to keep her company, but pots weren’t exactly the talkative type, despite being interesting to look at. She paused, looking at the pots for a few more long seconds, imprinting the design into her mind.

Elise had gotten pretty sick, and it was likely that someone else would get sick in the long run. If it could be prevented, that would be the best of course, but sometimes it was just impossible.

“Huh.”

Hopefully Azura still had the herb. She rolled off of her bed.

Despite it being almost night, Selena decided that now would be the best time to go out and walk around. Kamui had excused her, Jakob, Charlotte, and Benny from doing any assignments as a result of ‘trauma’, however Selena hadn’t felt really affected by the whole ordeal.

That was probably the more disturbing thing.

She paused before entering Azura’s room _. I’ve been more upset about punishment than I am about Scarlet’s murder…_ The thought was enough to cool her blood and she froze before knocking on the singer’s door. Was she abnormal? Was she callous about someone else’s life? It wasn’t like the event wasn’t disturbing to her, but it just seemed… something. Like it was something that would happen. There wasn’t much to it.

If only Grima hadn’t been a part of her past, it probably would have caused her more physical pain and anguish, but throwing up wasn’t one of her favorite things. Perhaps it was to her benefit that she had been numbed to war atrocities. She knocked on the door, waiting a few moments before Azura opened it.

“Oh, Selena, I wasn’t expecting you…” The singer leaned up against the door frame. “Did… Did you want to talk?”

“What…?” Selena paused, watching as the singer’s expression morphed from pity to sadness. “Oh no,” Selena waved her hand, feeling embarrassed. “No, I’m completely fine of course. It’ll take more than that to get me down, naturally.” She cleared her throat, shifting her weight on her feet. “I just wanted to know if you had that herb, the one for Princess Elise. Or any of it left.”

“Why do you want it? You aren’t sick are you?”

“No, but I figured it would be better safe than sorry.” Selena sighed. She supposed she would have to stop beating around the bush and get right to the point. “I just wanted some seeds if you had any.”

“Oh, is that all?” Azura giggled with a light air, causing Selena to feel even more embarrassed.

“T-that’s not all, it’s an important request!” Selena huffed, crossing her arms. “Do you have any or not? I don’t have all night.”

Azura smiled, closing her eyes against the breeze. “Of course. I’m glad you’re looking out for others.”

“W-well, I just figured that since I might need some for myself, I may as well grow a good amount. I don’t want anyone crying or anything after all. I’m a nice person after all.” Selena accepted the few seeds graciously, rolling them over in the palm of her hand.

After making her way over to the more earthy ground, Selena put her hands on her hips, making sure the seeds were well grasped. “Well, I guess it’s time for some menial labor.”

As soon as she walked over to the pond to clean her hands, the pots having been filled and the seeds properly buried, she noticed Jakob hovering near the edge, grasping his wrist in a rather weakened fashion. He wasn’t close enough to her for them to carry on a conversation or anything, but Selena wasn’t really looking forward to carrying anyone’s emotions, so that was just fine with her.

She was still annoyed with him toying with her, though at least that topic had a proper conclusion.

She splashed the water around her wrists, rubbing the dirt off of them, watching the crescent moon’s light reflect off of the ripples and into her eyes. Despite everything, the astral realm that they called ‘home’ was rather pretty. Even she couldn’t deny that. Or rather, of course she wouldn’t deny that.

And now Jakob was walking over to her, wonderful.

They stared at each other for a few minutes of tense, awkward silence. Clearly he wanted to say something and Selena wasn’t about to start a conversation, especially since she didn’t want him to snark at her again about something that she would say. It was better to not get a snowball started.

Jakob exhaled loudly, or loud enough for Selena to catch it from her kneeling position by the pond’s side. “I suppose I should thank you for…” He paused. “…Sparing her…” He looked to the side, toward Kamui’s treehouse. “Hans won’t get away with this. Not on her watch.”

“Yes he will…” Jakob whipped his head around to stare at the mercenary with an incredulous expression. Selena shrugged. “Clearly Garon is ok with this behavior. Perhaps death will find him,” Selena huffed out as she stood up, leaning on her knees, “but not before others will suffer the same fate.”

Jakob clicked his tongue, a bitter face coming forth. “How despicable.”

“What I’m confused about is that you were surprised at all. Don’t you know how Garon works?”

“How about I answer your question with another question,” Jakob replied. “How are you so calm?”

Selena sneered, mostly at herself, before turning to look toward the forest line. “How would I know? I’m not some kind of diviner or personality determiner…”

Jakob shook his head, a stern expression sent her way, and she stiffened. “Clearly there is more to you than meets the eye.”

He must have not been in an insulting mood, or perhaps, finally, their teamwork was producing fruit off of the battlefield. “I wouldn’t go that far. People are different. Different events affect people differently…”

“Perhaps that would be true if I hadn’t brought the event up to Laslow and Odin and gotten the same response,” Jakob countered nearly as quickly and with more force than Selena’s muted cover-up. “I just can’t figure out what, or rather why, you all decide to hide your pasts?”

Well, this was as good of a time to make up some kind of sob story. Perhaps she would get him off of her back. But she declined. “Perhaps we hide our pasts to avoid pity.” It wasn’t completely untrue, but it was hard to hide their battlefield prowess with a pitiful cover-up as that. Camilla and Xander wondered about their retainers’ fighting abilities (considering Laslow had nearly beaten the crown prince) and Prince Leo often marveled at Odin’s worldly knowledge. And oddities. Unrelated.

“Perhaps you should consider another hobby. Pity is oft undeserved anyway and I figured you would be the last one to accept it from anyone.”

Selena crossed her arms. “Did you just come here to pick apart my personality, or is there something of actual merit that is worth bringing up? It’s getting rather tiring.”

Jakob shot her a look, one that she couldn’t recognize at all, and she narrowed her eyes in confusion. “I truly am sorry for your loss. Loss of one’s humanity is pitying and sorrowful.”

Selena sneered at him, straightening up fully, fists at her side. “I’m sorry that you’ve reacted with much more gusto than even I could have imagined! I’m sorry that apparently I’m sub-human for not reacting the same! I guess I’ll just sit myself out because clearly, being not human, I’ll just slaughter any other humans I come across!”

Jakob winced, taking a step forward. “S-Selena, you know that’s not what-“

“Shut it, Jakob! I can go anywhere and be insulted!” Selena turned, pigtails whipping behind her, her anger still clearly shown. “Good riddance!” She stalked away, feeling the soreness of hurt pull at her heartstrings.

Hadn’t she done the greater thing by sparing Scarlet? So what if she wasn’t reacting like the other three! She had seen much worse.

And she couldn’t confide in anyone about it.

She slumped down on her bed again, feeling the night air flow through her window, not cooling her heated anger in the least. “Gods, what a prick! I have feelings too!” She bit her tongue to avoid yelling out in anger, although her pillow would probably help with anger management.

Having him insult her so bluntly and without the usual forethought actually hurt. It wasn’t like his opinion mattered a great deal, but she thought they could at least get along a little bit. What did the others thing of her, then? Charlotte and Benny?

She had spoken with Camilla after the fight, telling the princess what had happened, although not in detail. Enough to get the point across. Camilla had reacted much like how Selena had: sadness, some dullness of pain, but no shock. Sure, she hadn’t been there, but the princess had also gone through terrible events, being the daughter of Garon and all. Selena wasn’t surprised at her reaction much then and was still not now.

Kamui, on the other hand, being sheltered as she was, reacted with horror, trying to stop the atrocities while she could, pleading with the older princess to do something about the event.

Even Elise hadn’t reacted much, although that was probably the most heart-wrenching result about the event. Even the youngest princess hadn’t been spared from whatever the Nohrian royals went through. Even thinking about it made Selena feel sick, but she supposed she wasn’t surprised.

What could even make her feel surprised anymore?

The freshly planted pots were the only things to greet her as Selena woke up in the morning, the sun bathing her face with warmth, but only superficially.

Her nightmares of the future had come back. Sure, she had used methods to cope with them in the past, but they had died down anyway, at least partially. Cheve’s massacre must have brought them back, though that too wasn’t a surprise.

She stood up and stretched before grabbing her special training sword (swords were shared, but this one was hers and no one else was going to use it) and heading to the training ground.

Charlotte was also up, practicing axe swings to a dummy. Selena could tell that they were basically only warm-up swings, near basic stuff, so Charlotte must not have been up for very long. It was fairly late in the morning though, perhaps a bit after breakfast, so Selena wondered if Charlotte believed in ‘beauty sleep’ or had also had a hard night. She fell into step next to the fighter, doing a few stretches before standing in position, performing basic sword blows on her own dummy.

“Oh man, if you’re the strongest in the army, then little old me has a long way to go,” Selena heard Charlotte pout from the side.

Selena paused before making another blow, turning to face the woman with confusion. “What did you say…?”

“Oh, nothing, you don’t need to listen to my option,” Charlotte said, deftly avoiding the mercenary’s question. “It’s just that you’re a pretty amazing person… I feel like my worth is paling in comparison.”

Selena had been praised before. She knew what genuine praise felt like. Jakob had made the distinction clear enough, using examples of both. Charlotte here was being a, well played, faker.

The fighter shifted her wooden axe and Selena wondered if it was weighted to imitate the real thing. “All I have is some casual, war-unrelated skills…”

“What? That’s not what I remember.”

Charlotte averted her gaze with a practiced bashfulness. “W-well… I admit, I do managed to gain a little bit of confidence when I’m standing next to Benny… Feeling protected must bring out the ally in me…”

“What’s with this act? If you’re as strong as it seems you are, you shouldn’t need to use something so weird.”

“I’m sorry? I’m afraid I don’t understand…” Charlotte cocked her head to the side, her blonde hair moving and framing her chest. Selena wondered if she used some kind of hair spray to achieve that kind of effect.

“I’m just saying, I can smell acting on someone a mile away. One of the perks of being me. If you’re a good fighter, which is pretty true from what I can remember, then just be you.”

“Selena, I’m afraid I can’t follow what you’re saying, but it makes me feel all warm inside that someone like you has confidence in me…” Charlotte threw Selena a sickly sweet smile before turning back to her drills, making sure that Kaze, watching casually from the sidelines, could see her actions clearly.

The ninja seemed about as interested as Selena was, which was not at all.

The pair continued to train silently, Charlotte eventually putting a little more effort into her practice, until they had gotten sweaty enough to warrant a pause.

It wasn’t like they had to worry about time much. Kamui wanted to pull together a report for Garon before returning to the surface, wanting to manage her time about as efficiently as she could, and she was kind enough to want to give the four ‘victims’ a time for a mental rest.

Selena just wanted to give the report to Garon and return back to Krakenburg for a well-deserved break, but considering how tense things were between Nohr and Hoshido, Selena figured that she would be pulled into a full-out war, and Kamui was likely to be sent to the frontlines. What a time to be alive.

“That Nohrian rebel…” Charlotte paused before continuing as the pair sat down on a nearby bench. “It’s not I liked her or wanted her to win in particular, but…” She trailed off, enough meaning conveyed in her silence that Selena knew exactly what she was talking about. “It was cruel, even for a commander in the Nohrian army. I had heard of Hans before, but…” She shuddered, hugging her chest, and Selena wondered if she was faking it or if it was a real emotion.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Jakob threw up. I’m not sure how Benny reacted, but if it makes you feel better, those emotions don’t exist alone.”

“Jakob, huh…?” Charlotte thought for a few moments before coming to a conclusion. “Oh right, the butler. Right? I’m not wrong am I? Oh dear, I hope I’m not…”

Selena sighed, noticing Charlotte’s shift from sincerity to laying on the words thick. “Yes, that’s him. But enough about him, how did Benny take it? Probably in a stride, right?”

Charlotte looked at Serena with confusion and a tad bit of sadness in her eyes before she pursed her lips, pouting in an ordinary fashion. “Of course not! Poor Benny hasn’t experienced an event like that before. He was feeling very upset and I would have helped comfort him longer, but he just wanted to be alone, so I let him be.”

“Isn’t he the person who wrestled a bull bare-handed? Are we talking about the same person?” Selena was rather confused. While she hadn’t been able to learn about Benny well from the half-day that the two had been introduced to the group, various people had various stories about the knight.

Charlotte tilted her head again, raising an eyebrow. Her hair fell around her face and framed it well. “No? I’m pretty sure he hasn’t. Are you thinking about someone else? Perhaps Prince Xander? He’s pretty strong. And handsome. And rich.”

Selena barely caught the last part, but it wasn’t technically incorrect, so she deigned to ignore it. “Well, knowing Prince Xander, I don’t think it’s something he’d want to partake in.” She paused again, leaning her chin on her hand, still slightly confused, but also equal parts intrigued. “Are you sure Benny hasn’t done something like that?”

Charlotte shrugged, throwing her blonde hair over her shoulder, looking boredly to the forest line. “No, I’m not sure. Perhaps I know him as a person, but I don’t know everything about him. Sometimes, answers are just unavailable.”

“Yes… Tell me about it.” Selena stood up as Jakob walked over, holding a tray of two water cups, and passed the two women the glasses. “Thank you…”

“Oh Jakob, you’re a lifesaver!” Charlotte gushed while gratefully accepting the drink. “I was feeling quite dry.”

“Well, the same could be said about your humor.”

Charlotte paused while Selena sighed, leaning away from the two to avoid getting caught up in the argument, but before Charlotte could respond with an apt answer, Jakob walked away, holding the tray under his arm.

He was moving rather swiftly and Selena wondered what he was thinking. But, considering the events of the day before, she wasn’t willing to confront him in a conversation.

Not now.

 

 

**Bonus scene**

“Here is your tea, Lady Kamui,” Jakob said while pouring a cup from the ornately decorated tea kettle. Despite it being very much night, with the moonlight glancing off the walls and the liquid, Kamui and Jakob were still very much awake, the events of the day having rankled them both to the point of emotional and mental exhaustion, but for different reasons.

Jakob figured that being the leader of their army, Kamui felt the most guilt for the events that had transpired, despite the fact that she had no control over Hans, much like any ordinary person would. Certainly, he had shown the smallest flicker of pity and regret, but considering how much he enjoyed slaughtering everyone, and Scarlet…

Jakob shuddered, forcing away the thought, but making sure that Kamui couldn’t see his vulnerability. He brought the cup over to her sitting figure, ignoring the table that would serve well. “It’s your favorite kind. I figured that you would need something to make you sleep well, so I also mixed in some herbs that Kaze and Elise recommended.”

Kamui smiled with thin lips, something that made his heart tremble but freeze up at the same time. “Thank you for taking the time to do this, Jakob. I know you’re my retainer, but it still means a lot to me. Especially since…” She trailed off, bringing the tea to her lips. It was likely that she was also as unwilling as he to bring up the specifics of the subject.

Anyone would, really.

“Anyhow, I watched you and Selena talk for a bit.” She paused, probably misreading the conversation, but Jakob wouldn’t bother to correct her unless she specifically said something that wasn’t factual. “If… If you need to talk to me… Well,” she smiled with a half-hearted effort, “it hurts me too, so perhaps we can both reflect on what happened…?”

“You do not need to bother with me, Lady Kamui, but I will gladly listen to any conversation you wish to bring up.” Jakob dipped his head with formality. “This event has probably hurt you over any other and if there is any way I can arrest those worries, I will throw myself at your feet.”

“Haha, you don’t need to do that…” Kamui trailed off, turning her head to look outside her window, prompting Jakob to stand up straighter. She set her cup down.

The dragonstone that lie in her lap began to pulse with a small, eerie light, and Jakob felt his nerves begin to unravel as he stared at it. “It’s just that… This is what Nohr does. It’s terrible…” She bit her lip, looking down at her tea cup. “Camilla said as much, Hans killed people, even little Elise…”

The dragon stone began to glow slightly brighter as Kamui stared at her wall, blankness evident in her eyes. “If it’s just going to be like this… If what I do is just going to lead to despair… Then what is the point of me even leading the army? What is the point of me doing anything? … What is the point of my existence, if not to bring hurt and harm to anyone I see?” A single tear trailed down her cheek.

Jakob kneeled down and pulled the princess into a swift hug, grasping her back tightly, as much to alleviate his own worries as hers. He tightened his embrace, feeling Kamui’s heartbeat slowly return to normal. He paused for a few minutes to enjoy the warmth of their embrace and also to arrest his own fears and misgivings. “You will always be loved, Kamui. You will always be wanted. You will always be our leader, the one to make decisions that will bring us to success. We all believe in you. I believe in you deeply.” He exhaled, letting his hand fall down her back loosely, feeling his determination wane. “You are the light to counter the despair. Please… Please don’t let reality convince you otherwise…”

“Haha… I can’t deny reality… That’s impossible, improbable…”

“Then,” he released her, looking her directly in her faded eyes glistening with tears, “create a reality that you can believe in, and we will all follow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to figure out how to work in their B support, but I finally got it. Hope yall liked this chapter........ n stuff.  
> I'm about.... 1/4 the way through the next chapter. Hopefully this longer than normal chapter helps sate your appetite before the next release!  
> Happy reading~  
> or not


	5. Pooling Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to update on Fridays now since I feel like I'm falling into a pattern.  
> This chapter is a slight break from last chapter. There's fighting, but nothing like last time, so breathe easy!  
> I feel like I should also edit chapter one since I've gotten a style for this fanfic and I wonder if chapter one turns people off.... sob. I might get to that sometime.

Selena edged closer to Kamui while sitting at the mess table in the astral realm as Benny passed her by. For whatever reason, the princess had actually wanted to sit next to Selena and she wasn’t about to deny a request. Besides, it’s not like Kamui was a bad person that Selena would want to avoid. Sometimes she wanted to avoid Lady Camilla (being smothered all the time wasn’t one of Selena’s favorite pastimes), but with Kamui she felt more calm and relaxed. She had some qualities that reminded the mercenary about her previous tactician (was Kamui even a tactician?) and it was an interesting comparison to pull. Kamui was softer and inexperienced, however, and had the tendency to freak out and lose her composure in stressful situations in full view of everyone.

After marching a sizeable distance to Nestra, Kamui had decided it was late enough in the day to retire to the astral realm to avoid being jumped by rogues or any other villain, so she had led her army to the realm. Peri and Jakob had cooked dinner in no time flat, aided in part by Felicia who actually seemed to be improving in some aspect. It tasted fairly good, but it didn’t exactly knock Selena off of her feet. She could probably do better, at least if she wasn’t so emotionally dead.

At least it was only due to physical exhaustion. She just didn’t want to think about anything right now except for meeting up with Garon, hopefully not getting more orders (thought it seemed more and more likely that they would be deemed the Vanguard of Nohr and sent straight off to Hoshido, considering their scuffles with the opposing side already) and doing whatever when she wanted. Selena shoved a piece of meat into her mouth to avoid talking to Jakob who sat down in front of Kamui, leaving the seat next to him for Felicia to occupy.

_Why am I here again?_

If anything, Elise or Camilla should be seated next to Kamui, but Selena supposed she was trying to get to know the entire army better. Selena was no stranger to the princess, but whatever she supposed. She ate another bite of her meal.

“Well, tomorrow we should land in Nestra around mid-afternoon if our calculations are correct,” Kamui said, starting off a bit of small talk among the group. “All I know is that Father is going to be there, so we can assume Iago is going to be there as well. And Hans’s group…” She became rather despondent at the thought, so Jakob cleared his throat.

“Regardless of what has happened, you have fulfilled King Garon’s request… Hopefully we can avert any future disaster by that fact…” Jakob looked to the side at his fellow retainer and Felicia paused before nodding, stuttering out a few words of comfort as well before turning embarrassed to her meal.

Selena shrugged. “Well, what happened happened. We can’t change the past.” _Not here anyway._ “All we can do is move on, really.” She glared at Jakob for a few seconds who met her gaze strongly before quailing back, looking to his left with guilt in his eyes.

Kamui noticed the slight exchange, but was kind enough to not pry into their affairs, instead turning to Selena to start another conversation. “I’m not sure what exactly we’ll be doing once we reach Nestra, but I assume that, since it’s a neutral country, we won’t be fighting in any battles, so if that comforts you at all, there’s that.”

Selena waved her hand in dismissal, finishing her meal before talking again. “I’m just here to carry out commands, though I’m sure Camilla will want Beruka and me to do something once we get there. Maybe buy some sweets.”

Kamui giggled, turning back to her own dinner. “I’m sure Camilla will have fun with you two.”

Kamui seemed to like being smothered, but it was only obvious. Being locked in a tower for your entire life would do that to you. Selena stood up and returned her dishes to the kitchen. She felt Jakob staring into the back of her head but ignored him, electing to go to her room for an early rest.

The pots had sprouted, but the plants were only seedlings. Hopefully they wouldn’t die before producing the fruits of their labor, but considering the nature of the astral realm, Selena wasn’t really worried. She settled down and went to sleep, rising quickly enough in the morning to continue the march.

As Selena stepped into the city, journey over, she thought that Nestra was honestly one of the most beautiful places she had ever had the chance to lay her eyes on. The lighting was creatively administered, the ripples of water set a passive, clean mood, and the people there were enjoyable, being not enemies. There were too many enemies in Selena’s life and it was nice to take a step back and be a normal person again.

“Oh, everything here is just so adorable,” Camilla gushed from Selena’s left. “Coming here is one of the small joys in my life.”

“If you are not enjoying yourself enough in life, Lady Camilla, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy again,” Beruka muttered from Camilla’s left and Selena snorted as Camilla pulled the shorter retainer into a stuffy hug, babbling about how Beruka was precious and that she didn’t need anything other than her.

Selena felt slightly jealous of the attention, but knew that Beruka meant well and Camilla would shower attention upon her soon enough.

She shielded her eyes from the stronger lights as the army made their way to the large dome where Garon would apparently be waiting for them. Selena wasn’t too sure about meeting in the middle of a large dance hall, but whatever the King wanted was whatever they were going to do.

Kamui hung back to set into a walk next to Selena. “You’re knowledgeable about other cultures, right?”

Selena shrugged, but didn’t deny the question. “Not this one in particular, but yea I have knowledge about other places. Asking me anything would be smart.”

Kamui giggled behind her hand, but her eyes didn’t show the same emotion and Selena felt a stab of guilt. “Of course it would be. So,” she looked up to the taller buildings, “did you have taller buildings where you came from? It’s rather squishy, to be surrounded on all sides, but I like how clean this city is. It has an interesting feel.”

“Well, I’m not really used to tall buildings, no.” Most of them had been destroyed anyway. “But I’ve traveled places with a lot of buildings. A capital city was kind of like this, but without the lights and water. It focused more on greenery.”

“Well, Nohr doesn’t have that luxury, so I can assume that this place is near the same.” Her smile dropped and was replaced by an apathetic look. “Hoshido is the country with all of the resources anyway…”

The princess returned to the front with her retainers, Kaze, and Elise, and began chatting with them as if she hadn’t just dropped a persona. Selena shook her head. It wasn’t like she could judge, but she had enough smarts to not drop it randomly.

“Well darlings, we’re at the dome,” Camilla stopped, cooing at the girls, before looking upwards to the roof of the large building.

“It’s roomier than I would desire,” Beruka admitted. “There are opportunities for assassination here. We need to be vigilant.”

“Oh Beruka, drop the thought would you?” Selena tapped her fellow retainer on the shoulder as Beruka leaned away, expression blank. “No one’s going to try to murder anyone here, not when we’re in a neutral country.”

“A neutral country has its dark sides. There are many opportunities to take, and they will be taken.”

“With you next to me, I don’t have to worry about anything, Beruka,” Camilla comforted the shorter woman.

“W-what about me? What am I, chopped liver?” Selena nudged Camilla’s arm with her shoulder, puffing out her cheeks in a show of childishness.

“Oh Selena, you’re also very special to me.” Camilla hugged the both of them with her arms, watching as Kamui and Leo met up, the former surprised at the arrival. “I hope you two never leave me. I don’t know how I could live without you.”

Selena shuddered internally, not liking the turn of the conversation, but her attention turned to how Jakob reacted to the prince’s arrival.

_Hm, very strange._

As they got situated in the large building, Kamui sent her army to enjoy the performances in the lower seats at the boats with other royalty, although the prime spots were reserved for the Nohrian royal family and a few retainers, being Niles and Odin (since they hadn’t seen Prince Leo in weeks, maybe even a month, and were dying for attention) and Kaze since he had earned Kamui’s trust and likely needed to meet Leo to also get his voice of approval.

Selena didn’t mind much, but she didn’t understand why Kamui decided to pair her and Jakob in one of the small boats. Perhaps she had noticed their argument and was trying to force Jakob to apologize? Selena wasn’t looking for assistance in that subject and tried to ignore the butler for as long as possible. Perhaps it was a tactical reason. Perhaps Kamui was just planning ahead.

Or perhaps the princess knew more than what she was letting on. Kamui wouldn’t put it past her, but at the same time she wondered why she wanted them to get closer. From what little Selena could gather, there was a chance that Jakob was actually in love with Kamui, strange as it was. It was a small observation, but maybe it played into it.

She sighed before turning to watch the stage, waiting for the performers to appear, though the time had been slated for a little more in the future.

The boat wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but Selena was unused to being on one, and each time Jakob or she shifted position, she found herself having to readjust uncomfortably. It was pretty at least; the red of the boats fit in nicely with the general tone that the water created on the stage. It was truly a unique experience and Selena was glad to experience it at least once in her life. Nothing like this was in Ylisse of course. Maybe that could be what Olivia could create, if Laslow’s words were anything to go off of.

Charlotte and Mozu were seated in the boat nearest the pair with Nyx, Felicia, and Peri on the one after that. The rest of the army was scattered off in various other places. Selena and Jakob actually had a great viewing spot, the more the mercenary thought about it. They were near the front, but not too close for discomfort. That luxury was leased to the highest paying nobles, which Selena was obviously not part of and didn’t really want a part of it anyway.

Jakob cleared his throat, probably trying to be discreet, but the effect was the opposite. Selena ignored him for a few seconds until he started to talk, upon which she began giving him proper respect. Proper for the most part anyway.

“I suppose… Well,” he stuttered, seeming rather annoyed by the turn of ‘conversation’, “Lady Kamui suggested I strive to make the situation less remiss than before… So…” He sighed before turning to look at Selena properly, albeit out of the corners of his eyes, arms crossed. “I… Apologize… for my… insensitivity… I should… consider… your feelings more often…”

He seemed almost in pain to apologize to Selena. And she was going to milk this for all it was worth.

“Wellllll,” Selena drawled while touching her chin with her right hand, a look of questioning, “I can at least respect your effort, but it really was a hurtful comment, acting all pitiful towards me.” She turned to look at him out of the comers of her eyes as well, reflecting his own posture.

“I was not acting pitiful.”

“You were pitying me, which is clearly not the kind of emotion that should be thrown towards me. I’m strong after all. You said so yourself.” Selena crossed her arms, pursing her lips in an exaggerated fashion.

“… I did…”

“So naturally, an event would affect me different than you,” she gestured. “There was no reason to demean me just because of my mental stability.”

“…….There wasn’t……” He was talking through gritted teeth now. Selena figured that this was about as far as she could push him before he took back his apology. It wasn’t like she _didn’t_ want to go there, of course, but she could at least respect his effort to make change. She herself hadn’t made enough effort in the past, and before she knew it, she was gone before she could change.

“Well, as long as you know what you did wrong, I _guess_ I can accept your apology, even if it seems like you’re just reading off a paper that Kamui wrote to you.”

Jakob snorted, rather undignified. “How absurd and demeaning toward me. I would never stoop to a level that causes me to read lines off of a script when a situation should be completely in my control. The thought would never cross my mind.” He paused, giving actual thought to his words as Selena smirked at him, arms still crossed in victory, before he heaved a sigh. “Fine. I actually feel some sort of guilt for making you feel upset, and while it hasn’t tugged at my heartstrings enough for me to cease my work efforts to Lady Kamui, or anything else in that matter, it was enough to drive me to take action. Because I don’t leave a mess uncleaned.”

“Are you suuure that’s all?” Selena leaned closer to him, mirth in her eyes, and he leaned away, still not meeting her eye to eye. “Seems like you just want to get this situation off of your chest.”

“Well of course, that’s why anyone apologizes. They wish to amend a situation that may be permanently damaged if it means their psyche can come out all the more unscathed. I am no different.”

“Yea, sure.”

“I am sure,” Jakob countered, turning away further to avoid meeting Selena’s eyes.

“Oh Jakob,” Selena batted him on the shoulder in a playful manner, causing the boat to rock again, “just admit that you like me more than just a walking, sword-swinging meat shield that turns all battles to our favor.”

“I will as soon as you admit that you think I’m more useful than a walking medical tent,” he countered nearly as quickly and with nearly the same tone that she had, turning to actually look her in the eyes.

“Oh fine,” Selena shrugged, “I think you’re more useful than a walking medical tent. You can throw daggers at least. That’s something, if not nothing.”

Jakob sighed, but Selena could see the hint of a smile on his face.

As long as she could interact properly with others in this weird world perhaps she could make amends for her own past, although perhaps now that she wasn’t angsting over her future past, she could finally move on and begin to live as a proper person.

Making proper allies, even in a world she would have to leave, wasn’t a bad start.

She chuckled under her breath, angling her head to look to where the royals were situated. “Oh Kamui, you sly dog.”

The lights dimmed and a single dancer came on to the stage, accompanied by a violinist, a person playing an instrument Selena couldn’t recognize, and someone playing the harp. It was interesting background music at least and Selena enjoyed the special lighting that was utilized for the performance.

“Regardless of my words, I am still confused at your reaction,” Jakob admitted a few minutes through the dance and Selena turned to face him. He looked at her through the side of his eye before giving a shrug, dismissing her confusion. “You seem like the kind of person to take more offense at something so… Brutal. Even Charlotte and Benny took the night off.”

“But you didn’t.”

Jakob sighed through his nose, probably coming up with some excuse. “You were up as well and my duty to Lady Kamui requires that I be at her beck and call whenever-“

Selena waved her hand in dismissal, cutting the butler off. “You reacted the strongest. If anyone should have taken a day, it would have been you. It’s not like we think you’re weak or anything. Perhaps someone who wasn’t there would, but if I were to insult you for overreacting, it would be like kicking a puppy. While it was asleep.” She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “If you’re looking up to my mental strength, which is indeed something to look up to, I’ve been through a lot more than you. I can handle more because I already have. You’ve been in a castle all your life, trapped like Kamui, probably.”

“Not trapped. I was able to do shopping in the nearby city, and I had also been in the capital city a few times…”

“Anyway, you haven’t been through a lot. You’re new to this like Kamui is,” Selena finished with a shrug. “Though, the way you shove others away makes me think there’s more to you than just servitude.” If there was anything that she had learned from watching Gerome, it was that people who acted cold usually had something to hide, something that hurt.

“Of course there’s more to me than just servitude, I also protect Lady Kamui in the middle of battle, making sure to deflect attacks with ease and heal her whenever necessary,” he supplemented again, agitated by her accusation, obviously.

“Whatever you say, Jakob,” Selena sighed, dismissing his reply before turning back fully to observe the second half of the performance.

“It makes me think there’s more to _you_ than servitude,” Jakob quietly countered after a pause, and Selena rubbed her knuckles.

“Of course there’s more to me than servitude. I’m the best in the army.”

“Well, whatever you say, Selena.”

Selena reflected on their conversation using the next few performances as a backdrop. She didn’t know much about the fellow soldiers in the small army, except maybe Beruka who hadn’t much to tell. Kaze was a Hoshidan, Niles was a thief, Arthur and Effie were normal Nohrian people, Peri was a noble. Felicia and her sister Flora, who Selena had never met but had heard of, were from the Ice Tribe. She didn’t really know about Jakob’s past besides the part that he had served Kamui for a good portion of his life. It would be simple to ask Kamui about it of course, she and Selena were on good terms, but it was likely that she didn’t know the extent of Jakob’s past. She didn’t know much of anyone’s past, wanting to judge someone on their current circumstance instead.

It was rather fitting for her, Selena concluded.

In the end, it wasn’t like she could be close friends with anyone but Laslow and Odin anyway. She had to go back to Ylisse eventually and forming stronger bonds in this world would just make it harder to go back. Even if she got close to someone, Selena figured she’d want to go back to her home anyway. Certainly, she had Camilla and Beruka (and boy would Camilla be upset if she left), but Nohr wasn’t her home, and after the war, it might be even less of a home for its residents.

Ylisse would really be the only home for her, even if the one that she knew was dead.

The lights brightened up again, causing Selena and Jakob to focus more clearly on the next performance, a woman dressed in dark blue with flowing hair and a veil. It was an interesting outfit, Selena thought, and as soon as she started to sing, scattering floating water across the stage, it seemed to suit the song and tone.

Her skin tingled and her hair started to move, causing Selena to jerk a little bit. _This is strange…_ Selena rubbed her arm, watching in amazement as the singer caused water spirals to emanate from center stage and twirl out across the audience.

“It’s beautiful…” Jakob murmured beside her, and Selena gripped her wrist before agreeing. Jakob looked at her after noticing the change in tone, confused. “Selena? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing, my skin just feels weird, maybe it’s the-“

“Stop that singer!” The pair jumped as Iago’s voice rang out across the arena, and the singer, taking a chance, quickly fled and disappeared in what was quickly coming forth as confusion.

The water started to ripple and Selena, confused even further, looked across the area as Jakob stood up in the boat. “Hoshidans!?” She turned, watching in confusion and slight horror as the Hoshidan soldiers appeared at the edges of the right stage.

“Damn, they must have planted an army here to take us by surprise!” Jakob gripped a knife in his hand. ”Quickly, get up, we need to make our way to Kamui and the royal family.”

Selena stood up, knees shaky and legs not fully supporting her weight, and she unsheathed her sword. “No need… There they go to the base over there.”

Peri’s boat was quickly speeding over to a large cluster of Hoshidans and Selena wondered where they had gotten the proper oars.

Niles and Odin, having been dismissed by Leo presumably, arrived to the side of Jakob and Selena’s boat, but they were still too far off for any proper tag-combat. “We’re to take this side, warriors of darkness!” Odin jumped as Azura appeared on his side, probably to assist them with her singing. Clever.

“We need to work our way to the stage! We’ll meet up with the full force once we make it there!” Niles gestured before he and Odin began attacking the few Hoshidans that had shown up on the left side.

“Well,” Jakob clicked his tongue, turning back to face Selena, “I suppose there’s no way around it.” He grabbed a second dagger. “We’ll just have to listen to what Lady Kamui has told us…”

“Well, we’re at a good vantage point, so we can probably use your range to-“ Selena ended her sentence with a shriek as the boat suddenly jerked around, and the two had to struggle to keep their balance as a soldier clambered his way into the boat, brandishing a club, quickly followed by a defensive partner. Selena stumbled for a few more seconds, taking a step back toward Jakob as he threw a dagger at the first soldier, hitting his arm.

“Die, Nohrian scum!” The chieftan swung his weapon at Selena who deftly blocked it, but not without feeling the vibration of the attack swing through her arm. She lunged forward, taking advantage of the boats unbalance, and stabbed him through his chest, sending him off of the boat with another dip. The lancer lunged forward, catching Selena’s arm with the tip of his weapon and she jumped back to let Jakob wound him more.

The soldier stepped back, holding his lance in a defensive position as Selena jumped forward to take another blow, sliding her sword into the side of the boat. He knocked her in the face with the butt of his weapon and she yelped, taking a step back before he could hit her again. Jakob sliced his chest and sent him into the water. Selena leaned over, watching to see if the soldier disappeared.

Jakob leaned down on the boat, trying to still it. “There isn’t just one… There must be more.”

Selena turned, almost facing Jakob, and watched a pegasus rider be shot down by Niles.

“Archer, face front.”

Selena blocked the arrow with her shield and Jakob threw a dagger in the shooter’s direction. He was a fair distance away, near the hub of Kamui’s army, and she watched as the Hoshidan was decimated by a… wolf?

“Well. That’s that.”

It sounded like Jakob was going to say something else, but the boat rocked back violently, sending Selena crashing down into his front, her back hitting his knife belt inside his vest quite uncomfortably, as her feet slipped from the boat, the angle too much to walk on, and the pair grunted from the impact. Hopefully his head hadn’t hit anything, but it wasn’t like his chest was any better.

A second lancer leaned up, startling the pair, and pulled himself onto the tip of the boat right in front of their faces. Acting quickly, Selena swiped her sword, sending him back an inch or two.

“I can’t support you if you’re lying on me!”

“Be patient for a few seconds, Jakob, I’m a little busy!” Selena deflected a blow, sending the lance into the side of the boat, sending woodchips everywhere. Selena hoped that the blow hadn’t compromised the integrity of the build. The Hoshidan swept his lance back, gouging a wound in Selena’s stomach. It wasn’t deep enough for her to be too worried, but she yelled all the same.

Knocking his lance out of the way one final time, she sliced the soldier’s neck open before throwing his body off of the boat, aided in part by Jakob (it appeared she had not pinned his arms at least). She leaned back further into Jakob’s shoulder, trying to ease the pain of her wound slightly. She did _not_ want to move, but circumstance prevented that wish from being fulfilled. At least he didn’t shove her off of him.

“Stay still while I heal you…” Jakob muttered while holding Selena’s back to avoid her moving during the healing process.

“That’s… not gonna be too hard…” Selena forced through gritted teeth, slowly moving her hand away from the wound.

Jakob paused while readying his staff. “Hm.”

“’Hm’ what? That’s not a good sound to make while healing someone, Jakob!” She snapped at the butler.

“It’s nothing,” he murmured while waving the staff over her stomach. Her skin knitted together nicely, she could feel, but there was no way she’d actually watch it happen.

“Are you sure it’s nothing? I don’t want to come out of this less than a human then I was before.”

Jakob stood up, putting the staff away before turning to scan the stage. “As long as we stay alive and no war atrocities occur, you should be fine.” There was slight snarkiness added, but Selena figured the topic of ‘humanity’ would be a tender subject for a long while.

She touched her stomach. It felt fine, and there was only a pale line left over, so she stood up, brandishing her sword. “Well, there’s no way I’m swimming through this water to get over to any checkpoint…It’s too gross for someone like me.”

Jakob sniped a lancer before Odin could get hit, and the mage danced in thanks. “Well, do you have any other bright ideas for transportation?”

“Hm…” Selena’s gaze fell to the previously occupied seats situated in their small boat. “Well, I suppose property damage will be paid back by Nohr and Hoshido at this point.”

“Wha-“

The snapping of wood interrupted Jakob’s incredulousness, and Selena tossed him a board. “Get to rowing, but we need to back up Niles and Odin, so don’t think about paddling the wrong way, butler.”

“Hmph, if anyone would go the wrong way, it would be you.”

“You wish.”

The battle wasn’t completely difficult, considering Azura was there to support them, but Jakob was visibly stressed at Kamui (including Leo, sans horse) being warped over to the commander of the small force. Selena nearly had to hold his arm in the middle of battle to avoid breaking of rank, which would leave both her and Azura vulnerable. While Selena could take a hit, of course, Azura could _not_.

Niles shoved his arrows back into the quiver, letting out a disappointed sigh. “Well, that was altogether disappointing. I wanted the pegasi riders to scream more.”

Odin posed and Azura stepped back. “Well, my fell hero, Lady Kamui has deemed it in the righteous interest to spare our foes from a bloody death and as we were apt to avoid it here, her will was our command.”

Jakob sheathed his daggers before heading, nearly full out sprinting, to where Kamui, Leo, and Garon were talking. Oh, Iago and Hans were there too, Selena supposed. Camilla and Elise, however, weren’t, so the mercenary figured that the two had gone with the rest of the army to check up on the wounded. At least Selena had been healed…

Azura wrung her hands, nervousness on her face. “King Garon seemed particularly angry… I wonder what happened.”

“You weren’t there?”

Azura shook her head, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “I needed to get some fresh air. I was feeling a bit tired, and as soon as I got back, everyone was gearing up to fight…”

“Did you see some of the performances at least?” Serena prodded, turning to face the dancer. “Someone like you would probably enjoy it more than the common folk.”

Azura blushed lightly and nodded, her hair moving like waves. “Yes… It was a sight to behold indeed.”

“Well, let’s get all happy-dandy with our commander, why don’t we?” Niles walked past Azura and Selena, leaving Odin to pick up the slack behind him, who smiled and shrugged.

Kamui met them halfway with Leo and Jakob in tow. “T-there’s been a new order from F-… King Garon.”

“Lady Kamui?”

Azura tensed before repeating the name after Selena.

“W-we are to kill all of the singers…”

Selena looked toward Jakob who was, fittingly, ghastly pale. He must have heard Garon give the order himself. Prince Leo, on the other hand, was not, and he stepped forward to explain how exactly to go about the order.

Selena stepped closer to Jakob after Leo and Kamui parted the group with Azura to debate how to split up everyone. “Are… Are you ok?”

Jakob exhaled rather loudly before shaking his head slightly, mostly to himself. “I’m fine. Apparently King Garon orders assignments like this all the time, so we shouldn’t be alarmed.”

“Well, Hans might be behind this… It’s like…” It was like Cheve, of course. Mindless slaughter was apparently Nohr’s favorite past time.

“We can avert this crisis, however. We must.”

“Yes… I suppose we have to…”

Jakob went off with Kamui and Felicia, of course, while Selena was assigned with Niles and their new member, Keaton. She wasn’t sure how the… wolfskin had joined their group, but it was something involving ‘maps, knowledge, and a good smell’. She stopped him from explaining further, and he muttered something about stopping anyway.

They were put in charge of searching stores. Kamui hadn’t wanted too many groups out at once, so she had sent about half of the army to stay put in the astral realm, including Elise, Beruka, and Kaze, one being not suited for searching and the other two having a penchant for searching out enemies. It would make for a good handicap, Kamui had explained. Garon had already seen Niles, so it would have been strange if the thief had just disappeared.

Selena and Keaton entered the ware store while Niles stood outside as ‘watchman’ to ‘make sure’ that no singers escape. The store clerk looked nervous at the appearance of soldiers, especially one who wasn’t human, but Selena was able to smooth over any worries that he had.

Most of the other encounters went the same way.

Selena sighed in disappointment as she and Keaton exited the clothing store. Nestra certainly had interesting items for dress and Selena would have totally bought a nice blue dress if she had been casually perusing the location.

Keaton stretched, letting out a wolfish howl. “Well, there’s only a few more stores to go. I’m glad this is almost over. I wanna check out that astral realm that miss Kamui told me about.”

“Well, it looks just like any other place,” Selena admitted. “I just want to go to our quarters and sleep.”

“Aw, are you tired? Battles catching up to a pretty lady like you?”

“I-I’m not a weak woman! I’m just tired since it’s late! But…” She paused. “D-do you really think I’m pretty?”

“I dunno. I just heard Niles call someone that. Is it not normal?”

Selena sighed, shook her head in annoyance, and continued on. She expected Laslow, of all people, to do something like that.

She and the wolf stopped walking down the street as they heard Niles’ voice emanate from the nearest ally and the sound of boxes falling grabbed their attention further. Selena looked at Keaton before running over to the mouth of the ally, watching as a dancer slapped Niles’ face.

“Ohohoh, getting frisky are we?”

“Niles, we’re not here to get close to singers.”

The singer balled her fists before flying at Selena, but she was obviously untrained and Selena caught her fists with her own hands. “Calm down, we don’t want to-“

“Nohrian scum! You ruin our performances, ruin our capital, and now you have the gall to off our own people? People like you deserve to rot in hell!”

Keaton cocked his head in confusion, and Selena sighed, fearing the worst. “King Garon ordered us to do this, but we don’t want-“

The dancer whipped out a knife after Selena let her hands go, and the mercenary jumped back, putting herself in a defensive position. Niles chuckled at the display of force as the dancer faced them bravely. “I won’t let myself die without honor.”

Selena heard the boots of Nohrian soldiers drawing closer. If the dancer didn’t escape now, she wouldn’t be able to keep her life.

“Head into that ally, look in the boxes. Some of the singers are petite…”

 _Damn Iago…_ There went that plan. The tactician stepped into Selena’s view, an amused look drawing on his face. “Well done, group… Whatever.” He waved his free hand. “How many other dancers have you found?”

“Oh, only a few,” Niles drawled while leaning up against the wall, blocking the scared dancer’s escape. “Most of them were slippery, but a few weren’t as smart as we gave them credit for, allowing an easy kill.”

It was a lie of course, Niles was the master of lying, but the dancer wouldn’t know that, and her expression grew darker. “You hellish fiends deserve the cold embrace of death. Take you despair with you!” She lunged at Selena, dagger at the ready, pink sashes fluttering in the wind.

Selena had been trained to fight since she was a little girl. Defensive positions were second nature. Attacking others was common knowledge.

It didn’t hurt any less to slice the dancer’s unprotected chest and watch her bleed out on the ground, one more curse on her dying lips.

Niles and Keaton didn’t seem too surprised and Selena fought back a grimace.

Iago huffed, turning. “What a foolish woman. But I applaud your actions under stress, if nothing else. I hope you bring more results to King Garon’s name. Foolish Kamui…” Selena barely caught the last words, wrapped up in her own thoughts, and Iago walked away with his few soldiers.

“Well, I suppose we can call that a night. Iago won’t check up on us again, not when he has other groups to deal with,” Niles said while stepping over the dancer’s corpse, hands behind his head.

“Yes… I suppose we can…”

“Yay, now I can sleep!” Keaton jumped up and howled.

Selena took one last look at the dancer’s forever sleeping figure and followed Niles and Keaton to the meeting location. She felt strange, but she had to force aside those feelings again or else she couldn’t make it past.

After reporting back to Kamui, Selena was surprised to find out that they would be staying in Nestra for the night instead of retiring to the astral realm, but after considering the subject further she realized that it would be strange if they were to retire to the other land.

She wondered how Garon had even been able to secure rooms, but money could buy near anything, even death. Especially death.

There was a common area rented out for their army to use, though a few other Nohrian soldiers were milling around. Selena wondered how they viewed the vanguard, considering most people in their army had abilities past normal. She sat down after ordering a drink. It wasn’t like she drank much in the past, or the future at all, but she had done it more in Nohr. It tasted different, of course, but alcohol was an acquired taste anyway. She sipped on the Hoshidan _sake_ drink. It was definitely different, but it was a unique taste. She may as well have it here since they would never sit down properly in a Hoshidan establishment.

Camilla and Beruka had retired to the princess’s quarters, likely to go over an assignment after Beruka had gotten back from the astral realm. Camilla might have the former assassin spy on Iago or Hans. Selena had briefly seen Hans before walking into the common area and had shuddered as he glared at her, not paying her much heed.

Kamui, Leo, and Elise were doing something else, Selena wasn’t sure, but they might be going over more information. Selena was left promptly alone, Laslow gone to hit on some more girls and Odin having retired to his own room, rather tired. Selena had already shooed Niles away once.

Selena looked up as Jakob slid down into the chair in front of her, sans drink, but holding some knitting. She didn’t know if he was actually into the hobby or if he just wanted something to do with his hands, but she was confused regardless.

“Are you… Knitting?”

“Yes indeed I am,” Jakob muttered while dropping a stitch. Selena held back a chuckle as he sighed in annoyance and picked it back up with a trained hand. He must have had a drink earlier. “It is but one of a butler’s many duties.”

“Really? That’s unexpected,” Selena drawled while leaning her head on her hand after taking another sip of the sake.

“Really? Making clothing is a useful skill and one that a servant can use wisely.”

Selena shrugged at the response, slightly reminded of Frederick, but not really caring one way or another. She took another glance at his work. “You’re quite good, I must admit. I’m _almost_ impressed.”

“Well thank you, Selena. You are welcome to admire me _or_ my work any time you wish,” he said. Perhaps they were both feeling under the weather.

“I’m not admiring you, I said _almost_ impressed. Besides,” she took another sip, feeling the taste of the drink flow through her throat, “I’m better at knitting than you are anyway.”

“Must you really be the best at everything, Selena?” Jakob sighed while looking up from his project while giving her an exhausted expression. “Don’t you ever get tired?”

“There’s no point if I’m not the best at everything, of course,” Selena chuckled while swirling around her drink. “Maybe I get tired when I’m proving myself at marathons, but it’s an endeavor that I will easily accomplish.”

“Sure, whatever you like. But I suppose that’s what motivates you to do your work and if that means you take a hit for me, then I suppose I am in no position to complain.” He turned back to his work again, probably done with the conversation.

“I’m not a meat-shield. Admit that my abilities on the battlefield have saved you a few times,” Selena teased, leaning forward slightly.

“If I recall, I’ve been the one to save you a few times, Selena,” Jakob chuckled, finishing another stitch. “Without my healing, you would have been hung out to dry.”

“Hmph, regardless, I’m still the best at everything, and if I’m not the best now, I will be soon.”

“Well, I disagree with your reasonings quite heartily, but I suppose if that line of thinking helps you to work hard, then it benefits all of us in the long run,” Jakob admitted while turning back fully to his work.

“Well, you can’t be the best without hard work obviously. You gotta put in the effort,” Selena muttered while sipping more of her sake.

“Aptly put. I’m not sure whether to call you bluntly honest or extremely simple, but either way, it’s very you.”

“Is that another insult, Jakob?” Selena sighed. “Stop making fun of me…”

“I’m not making fun of you, just making an observational judgement,” Jakob answered before making a sigh.

“Hm, I suppose that’s fine then…” Selena finished her sake, feeling like she should have another as the memories of the slain dancer appeared in her mind again, and she made a face.

“Are you ok, Selena? You haven’t had too much to drink, right? You’ll become a hazard.”

“I’ve only had this and another thing,” Selena pursed her lips rather childishly. “I can hold my drink. What about you? Probably not, huh, since all you live on is tea and coffee.”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Don’t wanna see you falling on the ground since that’ll put me back if we have to fight someone tomorrow.”

“As a butler, my sense of balance is leagues above the average person. Your worry is misplaced.”

“Hm.” Selena angled her head, still resting on her hand, and noticed that he had bags under his eyes. She hadn’t been paying close attention before, of course considering how he had treated her, but she wondered if it was more than just being at Kamui’s beck and call.

“Ah there, I have finished it.” Jakob held up his creation so that Selena could see it fully.

“Huh, you really are good…” Selena murmured, eyes closed from the sudden brightness of a candle passing by.

“Haha, indeed. Your honesty is appreciated. You can continue to admire me.”

“Like I said be _fore_ I’m not admiring you!” Selena moved her cup aside, huffing. “But I guess those baby socks are pretty cute… You should be glad I’m even saying that.”

“Oh don’t worry, I can take it.” Jakob smiled before putting his creation and the knitting needles away.

“Hmph, why do you even need baby socks? No one here could use them, obviously, except maybe Elise? No wait, I don’t think she has any dolls…” Selena paused, an awkward silence drifting between the pair.

“Wherever you are going with that line of thought, I implore you to stop before you make a mis-judgement,” Jakob sighed while shaking his head. “You’ve had too much to drink like I guessed.”

“I haven’t…” Selena blushed, looking away to stare outside the window. “And besides, even if I did, why would you care?”

Jakob paused and Selena wondered if he was really thinking of a suitable answer or if he was sorting through various lies. “Well, I don’t not care about you.”

“Huh?”

Jakob crossed his arms, looking to the side like Selena had before. “It would be annoying for me if I had to fight alone, even if I could easily defect to Kamui’s side. It’s better that you get hit and not me.”

“That’s a little far, Jakob.”

He grimaced and Selena wondered if anything had happened to his group as they hunted down the singers.

“Well, it’s whatever I guess, since that’s what I am.” She said it without malice, probably surprising him, and she ordered another drink. “Time to get hammered.”

“We have to march tomorrow, Selena, Garon is likely to give us another assignment,” Jakob cautioned her as the waitress brought her more sake.

Selena took a sip from her cup, giving a sigh. “Well then, I’ll sleep well tonight.”

He seemed to get her implication, but said nothing more, and ordered himself a drink.

_What am I coming to…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's C-A supports done! It'll be quite a bit of time before that S support though haha. They're not ready.  
> I have about half of the next chapter written up.  
> Happy reading~


	6. Grey Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no fanart of Jakob/Selena and i cri  
> It's understandable though haha.

Selena stretched her arms, working the sleep out of them. Her head didn’t ache too much from the sake, but it was a relief that they wouldn’t be doing anything labor intensive today besides running errands, strategizing army locations, and working out a truce with Nestra. Apparently, not all of the singers were natives of Nestra, but Leo and Camilla still had to smooth out relations with the Nestran folk since Garon decided to take his leave of the political situation, focusing on distributing his forces.

Figures that he wouldn’t want to deal with the fallout of his actions, though apparently he was attacked, so maybe it was better that he wasn’t in the thick of things.

Selena shuddered while thinking of how Hans and Iago were more than happy with offing all of the singers, even though hardly all of them could be blamed. Had they not seen the appearance of the singer that was on the stage? Selena could vaguely remember how she looked. She supposed she was also a good deal closer.

Kamui had split the arm into several groups. She and her siblings would work out plans with Garon about how to invade Hoshido properly with as little casualties as possible. Most of the rest of the army was to settle about making Nestra a good base of command, set up information booths, convey the information to the natives, and bring any relevant information to the strategist tent. The healers were in the astral realm setting up the necessary healing tents (hopefully they’d get a proper building soon) and areas in preparation for the vanguard to march. Elise wasn’t part of the set-up, having more valuable strategy knowledge (Leo must have been a decent teacher, Selena figured), but Nyx, Jakob, Felicia, and Mozu were more than enough for the astral realm. Lilith was there as well, so Kamui didn’t have to worry about them at least.

Selena was in the information booth set up team with Niles, Kaze, Effie, and Laslow. Odin was busy talking to the strategists in the tent and Beruka was with Arthur on the informations team. At least Laslow wasn’t terribly bad company and Kaze and Effie could balance out Niles’s general weirdness.

She didn’t know why Kamui decided to call them information booths, they were more like checkpoints around the city that would be in charge of each sector of the army headed by mages. Iago would apparently be in charge of Kamui’s team, but that would be back home since he was powerful enough. There would also be fast horse riders assigned to each team to carry information as well. Selena didn’t know if they needed to barricade the city, but apparently Garon wanted the flow of information to come first, so they were stuck with working with the rest of the general army.

She sighed as she poured over more locations maps brought to the group by Beruka, thinking about how the placement of these troops would factor into this locations area. “Well, I suppose we could assign a lesser mage to this area, it’s not as far from the location here…”

Kaze leaned over her shoulder, startling her slightly. “Kamui made the note already on the corner…”

“Oh right… I knew that!”

Niles leaned another beam up, making the hub more secure. “Well, at least Garon knows he likes communication. Shame he never applies that sensory knowledge to his children.”

Effie stared at Niles and he looked away.

“Well, he’s a king before a father, I suppose…” Laslow sighed, adjusting a few boxes of tomes before he grabbed the edge of the tent that Niles was holding. “It’s a shame, nonetheless.”

“Well,” Selena set the map to the side, moving the table out of the way so that Laslow wouldn’t trip, “as long as he doesn’t let Hans run amok, then it doesn’t matter too much…”

Effie lifted a few boxes before setting them in the corner. “Well, let’s get this one done soon so that the mage can be assigned properly. Hopefully Garon assigns us to make a guard for the city soon, I need to put in my daily exercise properly.”

“That will probably come tomorrow, Effie,” Kaze admitted while taking the map from where Selena had lain it. “Garon wants his forces to be connected first.”

They finished the first checkpoint fairly easy, the second one was more of an issue since there needed to be multiple mages and informational maps, but the third one was fairly simple.

Niles leaned on the brick wall as he and Selena took a lunch break, slowly chewing his sandwich. “Well, this is altogether disappointing. I was hoping for more of a… stimulation.”

“Of course you would,” Selena snapped back, eating her salad. She didn’t really want Niles to make more snappy comments to her filled with innuendo, but she supposed once he started, there was really no stopping him, unfortunately.

“Haha, you know me too well, but maybe you could get to know me even better, Selena,” Niles purred, making Selena’s hair stand on edge.

“You’re creepy, gross, and strange, so I’m going to have to give a definitive no and ask you to never talk to me like that again,” Selena snapped, not liking the implication of his words.

“Oh of course, I was only teasing to see how you’d react,” he chuckled, finishing his sandwich. “It’s always an experience to see how people react to such words. Lets you know how they really are as a person.”

“You must only know shallow people then.” It would be hard to see the real colors of a person if all you did was talk to them with innuendo.

Niles laughed, leaning his hand on the wall. “Oh, you’re a funny person, Selena. Always so sarcastic and scathing, but rather genuine, if nothing else.”

Selena whipped her head around, pigtails hitting her arms. “What do you mean ‘if nothing else’? There’s a lot to me!”

“Oh really?” Niles leaned closer, smirking at the mercenary with his one eye. “Why don’t you prove it to me, then?”

“As long as it’s not stupid and time wasting, I take your challenge!” Selena stood up with enthusiasm, clenching her fists at her side. “What do you need me to prove?”

Niles leaned back, enjoyment in his eye. “Well, first I’ll have you prove your physical ability. I want you to pull double your weight in the next booth. You’ll have to convince Effie to let you do so, of course, so that’ll knock out obeying.”

“Obeying?” Selena shook her head. “Whatever. I won’t be doing your work, though. I’ll… I’ll do some of Kaze’s. He’s nice at least.”

“Aw, not Laslow’s? I thought you two were friends,” Niles drawled, standing up fully and heading over to Kamui to affirm their next assignment.

“Knowing each other isn’t necessarily friends, of course. We’re not _that_ close,” Selena huffed while crossing her arms.

“Yea, yea.”

. . .

Selena wheezed as she laid herself over a box, arms outstretched to the ground as Niles sat on the one next to her. “Quite impressive, although not nearly as amazing as some other feats in the army.” He licked his finger and measured the wind. Was he planning to go to the ocean? “Though, you’re… sheer determination and tenacity is worth mentioning, at the least.”

“W… What does it take, Niles?” Selena panted, sliding fully off of the box and allowing herself to crumple onto the ground. How did Effie do it? How???

It was night, at least, and the chilled breeze helped Selena cool down and relax. The booths were complete, at the least, but they and the medical team would be setting up fortifications tomorrow in the form of walls, sandbags, and anything else that could stop the Hoshidan army from taking their base. The fliers would be a problem, of course, but the strategy team had been working on that as well, so Selena was able to put confidence in them.

“It’ll take a few more days of hard labor, the rest of the war, and perhaps a little more to convince me that you’re worth it, red-head,” Niles teased, standing up and leaving Selena on the ground.

“Ah, it was a stupid ploy, what a jerk…” Selena cursed lightly from her position on the ground. He probably didn’t see her as anything but an obeying dog, but at least he saw himself the same.

“Less than human, huh…?” The retainers were loyal to a fault. Perhaps some of the Nohrian army saw them that way. Not like their opinion mattered too much.

After a few more minutes of moping and recovering her breath, Selena stood up and grabbed her dinner from the chef for tonight (not Peri) and ate her soup fairly quickly, hunger coursing through her body. Felicia, Jakob, and Kamui were talking about something, Laslow and Odin were trying to hit on more girls (but Selena figured that Odin was merely bragging about his powers) and Niles, Beruka, and Kaze were discussing something in hushed voices. Hopefully it wasn’t her, Selena glowered. She finished her soup, grabbed a piece of bread, and stepped outside.

She gazed at the full moon as the ripples of the nearby river caused some interesting background noise. The moon in Ylisse looked slightly different, but in her past it was greyer, usually darker.

She leaned back, considering the words of Jakob and Niles’s actions.

It wasn’t surprising that the general army didn’t trust the three of them, the warriors without pasts. They could be a liability, not to mention they had won the trust of the royal family in record time after flaunting their sheer tenacity, swordmaster skill, and general knowledge about war. They had all been hardened by two wars (now a third…) and had valuable knowledge about a battlefield. Kamui was grateful for them, at least, but Selena wondered if the rest of the army viewed them as less than human.

Of course, they’d have more reason to view Selena as so, if the story of Cheve was spread about any more, but Odin and Laslow weren’t safe from scorn either. But, perhaps they really were sub-human. Their world was destroyed. They didn’t come from anywhere. Their skills involved war related things only, or at least that was all they were really worth. They didn’t react to Garon’s actions any more other than muted disgust to him and pity toward the royal siblings.

Perhaps they were just shoving their feelings away. Selena had talked to both of her friends after the Cheve event, confiding in them, but they hadn’t acted really surprised at her actions, rather that she didn’t talk with anyone else about it. Odin admitted that he would be scared, but probably not surprised and would have done the same as her. Laslow said he would have offed Hans right then and there, not letting fear or disgust work into his skin.

Everyone else that Selena heard talking about the subject admitted that they’d be frozen in fear and sickness. Except Beruka who said she would let Hans finish his work and walk away, but Beruka was an outlier. Beruka was also not there and was generally bad at predicting how she would act in any given situation, so Selena could brush that off.

The only people close to them were the royals, really. Selena didn’t know the extent of their sorrows, but she knew something bad had happened in their pasts. Certainly not the death of their country, but she recognized the sad expressions in their eyes. She carried the same tone when she was younger and not as adjusted to the world.

Selena sighed and flopped herself onto the grass, thankful that the river’s edge hadn’t been covered with cobblestone. Thinking about whether one was human or not based on how they reacted was for the magistrates and gods to decide, not her. It was exhausting work.

She watched as Beruka sank into a sitting position next to her, crossing her legs as she watched the river with a muted interest.

“Does Lady Camilla have anything that she wants me to do?”

Beruka shook her head, short blue hair framing her face from the moonlight. “Lady Camilla and Lady Kamui are having some alone time.”

Selena bit her thumbnail in thought, brushing her hair aside with her other hand. “I bet Jakob is seething in jealousy.”

“No, he’s with them with tea and cookies.” Beruka brushed her hair back, probably to see the surroundings better since vain and Beruka did not go together at all.

“Man, I wish I could be pampered sometimes, but I wouldn’t exactly want to be royalty either. That stuff’s too time consuming and stressful,” Selena muttered. “Stress is bad for the skin and I need to look perfect.”

“Looks don’t matter in a mission, what matters is that the goal is achieved.”

“Oh Beruka, lighten up sometimes. Life isn’t all about fulfilling a next request, even if serving Lady Camilla isn’t bad.” Selena stretched and leaned up, looking at Beruka. “All you focus on is that next duty or battle. Isn’t there anything proper that you enjoy?”

“I don’t need to enjoy things. It isn’t necessary to feel.”

“Beruka, just because you don’t feel anything doesn’t mean it’s an unnecessary thing.” Selena paused before standing up, prompting her fellow retainer to do so. “Lots of people feel things. When I go shopping, I feel happy and that makes me more productive.”

“Enjoyment makes people productive?” Beruka tilted her head, eyes still muted dully. “Is there not a better way to improve productivity?”

“Well…” Selena paused, touching her chin and looking to the side at a building. “There’s probably something, but it would all involve emotional connectivity. Maybe fear, but fear isn’t something we want.”

Beruka looked down with a noise of commitment, hands at her side. “Perhaps it would be beneficial to Lady Camilla if I took on a hobby if it were to increase my success rate and my rate of assignments…”

“Well!” Selena clapped her hands together. “We can find you something that you might be naturally good at! Maybe smithy work? You like weapons, don’t you?”

“Weapons are used for missions,” Beruka countered. “My interest in them is irrelevant.”

“Well, it’s a start at least,” Selena muttered while turning around, looking at the hub area. “It’s not like I could get you into sewing or anything menial like that.”

“I can sew. I have needed to repair articles of clothing before,” Beruka added as she followed Selena to the boarding area. They weren’t sharing a room (Selena had that honor with Charlotte of all people) but it was still a better area to hang out in than the crowded area.

“I was talking about fashion discovery, Beruka.”

Selena tossed Beruka a few books about smithy work, history of weapons, and other books that she figured the wyvern rider would find interesting with the motivation that Camilla would probably enjoy a new axe, especially if it was hand-forged, and Selena figured that it’d set Beruka up for at least a week of planning. It wasn’t like they were going to be arriving at their next battle for a few weeks, so the smaller retainer had the time to at least pull a plan together and grab assistance from Odin or Leo if she needed.

She went outside again to stare at the full moon since it had climbed higher into the sky. Felicia and Kaze were discussing something by the side of the river, near the edge of the forest. At least the barracks had a nice view of the forest. Better than city-scape at night, Selena figured. She walked over to the pair after they noticed her and waved her over, unable to properly escape conversation.

“Are you having a good night, Selena?” The maid offered up to start the conversation. “I saw you leave the meal room and was hoping that you weren’t feeling bad or anything…”

“Nah, I just wanted to go outside. It’s nothing personal or anything.” Selena crossed her arms behind her head. “Is there something that Kamui needs done?”

Felicia and Kaze shook their heads. “We haven’t seen Lady Kamui for a while now. Perhaps an hour.”

“…Have you checked her room…?” Selena deadpanned, rather annoyed that the two of them would be searching for a princess and raising such an alarm about it. “Perhaps you could follow Jakob.”

“He’s also looking for her right now,” Kaze explained, turning back to Felicia. “We were just about to go search the forest to see if she had taken a stroll without our knowledge, but then Silas informed us that Lady Azura was also missing momentarily.”

“Perhaps they’re just taking a wonderful stroll in the moonlight…” Selena paused as she watched some figures cross the bridge in her line of vision, recognizing Iago, Garon, and Hans, the last giving her a shudder.

“Oh no, not Iago…” Felicia moaned through her teeth. “What are they doing here at this time in the night?”

“Probably asking Ladies Kamui and Azura where they’ve been for the past while,” Kaze remarked as he recognized the two princesses cross the bridge as well, meeting the commanders halfway. The ninja quickly disappeared to get a better vantage point, leaving Felicia and Selena to slowly pick their way toward the small group in order to hear Iago’s questioning better.

Selena watched as Kaze deftly scaled a tree, wishing for a few seconds that she was that nimble, but her attention was grabbed by Iago’s questioning of Kamui and Azura’s whereabouts. For a second, Selena thought the mage was going to ask them if they had been doing _something_ in the forest by themselves, but it turned out to be a typical spy question. Selena bit her lip as Hans rubbed his fingers over the axe hanging at his belt.

“What do you think happened?” Felicia whispered not-really-that-stealthily to Selena, nearly brushing the branches of the bush as she did so and Selena grabbed the maid’s hands to avoid having her make noise.

“Seems as if Iago is wondering where the princesses traipsed of to. Who cares, really?” Selena huffed. “They can do what they want since they’re royalty…”

“Iago doesn’t think so…”

Kamui struck a confident pose, gesturing with her hands to the side, and Azura’s expression grew to one of surprise, along with Iago and Hans to an extent. Garon seemed about normal, muttered something dismissive, and he and his posse continued down the bridge, likely to make inquiries about something else that was obviously pressing.

Selena hadn’t really caught the exchange in full, but it seemed like Kamui had impressed Garon by making a confident fib, taking both Azura and Iago by surprise. It hadn’t really taken Selena by surprise, mostly because she couldn’t really hear what Kamui was saying very well and she was rather far, but Selena was impressed that Kamui had the guts to stand up to the three of them. Selena could only handle one at a time as it was. Perhaps the princess was growing up into a proper strategist.

After Kamui and Azura walked off of the bridge into Jakob’s arms (almost literally, Selena mused), Kaze slid down from the tree to touch base with Selena and Felicia. “What should we do?”

“W-well…” Felicia stuttered for a few seconds before looking to the side, her hands putting off snowflakes. “Maybe we should just admit that we were watching her…?”

“No! Are you stupid?” Selena hissed, making sure to avoid being found out by the group of three. “Who knows what the butler will do to us when he finds out that we’ve been snooping on his princess?”

“W-well, he’ll probably call me an excuse of a maid, make me clean out Kamui’s bedroom, then yell at me for doing it wrong…”

Kaze and Selena didn’t really know how to respond to that, so the ninja merely patted the maid’s shoulders and Selena wondered just how well the butler got along with others.

It wasn’t like they were dandy at first, but battling with him had allowed Selena to study his personality a bit more. He was crude, harsh, didn’t admit that he wasn’t the best at his job, extremely protective of Kamui and cold to others. She almost wondered if he was pushing others away with purpose.

At the least, Felicia probably didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, even if she was a terrible maid. “He’s crazy and cold, I guess...”

“I wouldn’t go that far…” Felicia murmured. “Maybe just… Harsh? Forcing?”

“Loyal to a fault…” Kaze mused. “If only I could serve a master with such devotion, perhaps I wouldn’t bring shame to my family name…”

“Well, you defaulted from Hoshido, remember?” Selena pointed out. “Even if we win, I don’t think your family’s going to look at you in a good light.” Kaze seemed to wilt at the statement and Selena let it be, feeling too tired to expand on her statement.

“What are you three doing?” A quite voice emanated from behind them and Felicia and Selena screamed and Kaze vanished.

“O-oh, Lady Azura, you st-startled me…” Felicia stammered, pressing down on her heart. “Oh boy…”

“We were just having a normal conversation!” Selena defended herself. “What else would we be doing?”

“Perhaps you were eavesdropping on a conversation meant for royalty’s ears only,” Jakob supplemented, glowering down at the pair of them from behind Azura’s shoulder.

“I t-told you he’d be mad…” Felicia whispered to Selena.

“What?”

“Oh calm down Jakob, let Felicia do what she wants,” Selena snapped.

He recoiled slightly at Selena’s tone. “What are you implying?”

Azura took a step back as Kamui stepped in, putting herself in between her butler and maid. “Calm down, it’s late and we’re all tired.” She smiled at Jakob, who composed himself, and at Felicia who smiled, less agitated than before. “Azura and I were just on a little stroll. It’s nothing major, and it’s nothing we need to get freaked out about.”

Azura nodded, smiling. “It’s pretty late and we have a long day ahead of us.”

“Oh yes,” Kamui noticed, snapping her fingers, “I have some new plans.” She turned to Selena. “Instead of helping with army set-up and the like, I want you to give Jakob some sword training.” She chuckled, slightly nervous. “I was going to ask Laslow since he’s a guy and all and guys have the same body styles and the like, but he and Peri are preparing for Xander’s return and apparently Garon gave them something to do, so I only have you to ask.”

“’Body styles’…?” Selena and Jakob echoed.

“Yea. Something about muscle placement.” Kamui paused. “Well, that’s what Leo and Xander taught me anyway,” she quipped. “I want to have Jakob reclass when Elise is ready to defend herself, so I want you to train up your skill,” she finished, turning to face him.

Jakob paused, torn on the new assignment. Selena didn’t know if he was apprehensive about training with her or nervous about no longer being Kamui’s ‘butler’ and available for pinch healing. “Your command is my duty, milady…”

Kamui smiled and ruffled Jakob’s hair, much to his annoyance, but he kept it well concealed. “Now, I want all of you to get ample rest so that you can operate near your fullest tomorrow.” She sighed. “King Garon, Iago, and Hans will be making way to the capital, so we’ll be under distant surveillance until we leave for Hoshido. That’ll be in about a week, so we have enough time to put together plans and train and rest.”

“How long will the voyage take, Lady Kamui?” Felicia asked, probably worried about time management.

“Hm… A week at longest.” Kamui shrugged as she met eyes with Azura and the singer did the same. “I’m not sure what the weather’s like, but if we have any problems, Leo will be there with his Brynhildr, so we shouldn’t be in tons of danger.”

Selena watched Jakob stiffen at the mention of the prince. She had no clue why; Prince Leo wasn’t a bad person or anything from what Selena had seen of him. Even thinking about the ‘genius of Nohr’ made her want to challenge him in a sword duel or something.

“Wow I really am tired…” Selena yawned, trying to force away major thoughts.

Kamui nodded her head. “I’ll let you guys sleep in. I think most everyone has retired to their rooms anyway.”

Azura and Kaze walked together to the barracks while Jakob, Felicia, and Kamui wrapped up another conversation. Selena watched them from a distance, thinking for a few seconds of her, Lucina, Laurent, and Gerome discussing the next plan for survival.

She missed them a lot. Certainly, Inigo and Owain were with her, but there was something about being with the entire group that made Severa feel at ease. She shook her head, shoving down her depressed thoughts and walked over to the three of them.

Kamui waved Felicia and Jakob away to bed and turned to face Selena. “Selena? Is there something you want to talk about?”

Selena paused. It was likely that Kamui wanted to conceal her true intentions from her father. The mercenary could kind of relate, having to conceal her own past in order to work in this world. Everything was so confusing and convoluted, she sometimes wanted to find comfort in others. Perhaps Kamui would feel the same way. “I saw you putting on a face in front of King Garon.”

Kamui looked to the side, a dour expression making its way onto her face. “Yes… Anything to get him to trust in me more… I can’t let him create a new vanguard, not when lives are at stake… I’ve already lost so much… At Cheve…” She turned to Selena, smiling with hurt. “But I suppose you four were hurt more than I was.”

“Well…” Selena stuttered for a few seconds, not expecting Kamui to apologize. “You have to fight your family… That’ll hurt more than watching a bloody execution.”

“Well, Jakob was pretty hurt by that. He hasn’t been quite the same… I just thought that maybe you, Charlotte, and Benny would be the same…” Kamui touched her chin in wonder.

“What do you mean ‘hasn’t been the same’?” Selena pressed.

The princess paused, looking up at the full moon, the lull of the river in the background. “He’s been clingy, professing that he’ll never abandon me, that I’m the strongest person he knows, et cetera…” She sighed and shook her head, a hand at her ear. “Certainly, he’s been… The closest person to me. Without him, I don’t think I would have made it through all of my loneliness… But…” She grimaced and Selena blinked. “I don’t want him to get hurt on my accord… I put him through all this…”

“Well, at the same time, Princess, he’s also putting himself through all this,” Selena sighed, putting her hands on her hips as the princess looked at her with incredulousness. “He’s loyal to a fault. He would never abandon you.” She smiled. “There’s not a lot of people who would go through that for another person.”

“Well…” Kamui blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s nice of you to say, but I’m afraid his loyalty is a bit misguided…”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, according to Gunter, I was the first person to ever show him kindness, so his view of reality is probably warped…”

Selena froze.

Well, she had heard stories like that before. Nah, Noire, even Kamui herself. “Why do you say that? You’ve only had contact with a limited about of people… Isn’t your view warped as well?”

“Yes, but at least I had the kindness of a family to keep me afloat.” Kamui looked to the side. “Jakob only had me, Gunter, and Felicia and Flora when they came. I think he believes he owes me his life since I saved his…”

“Well, being a friend isn’t saving a life, right?” Selena laughed, nervousness in her tone. “It’s not like you die if no one is nice to you…”

“Well, from what he and Gunter said, he would have been thrown out without my interference, so…” She paused. “It’s a little different. But I suppose I can say the same about Garon…”

_Huh. I suppose we aren’t that different after all…_

“Selena? Are you ok? You look a little pale…” Kamui gasped. “You’re not getting sick are you?”

“N-no… No I’m not…” She leaned her hand on her chin. “Well, a few more things are making sense…” _After watching how well Kamui and Leo interact, especially in battle, I suppose Jakob would get clingy. And he would get clingy because he sees Kamui as his… savior? That’s weird to think about…_

She snapped her fingers, face blank. “Oh. It _is_ love.”

“’Love’? Are you into pet names between friends…?” Kamui wilted back, hands crossed over her chest.

“N-no!” Selena blushed, taking a step back herself. “And if I was, I wouldn’t use one with you! You’re a commander, not my friend!” She paused as Kamui winced.

“Oh. Is that how you see me…?”

“N-no! Gods, this is coming out all wrong!” Selena ran her fingers through her hair, yelling in frustration. “Ugh, it’s nothing, but I think I’ve figured out why he’s been all clingy. It’s obvious for someone like me to see, really.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

Selena posed. “Love.”

“Well yes, we’re close friends.”

“No, I mean love.”

Kamui blinked for a few seconds, trying to put the pieces together herself. “No, I don’t think so. I mean, sure all the knowledge I have is from books, but it doesn’t fit.”

Selena shrugged. “Well ok, but maybe Lady Camilla can talk it over with you.”

“Elise is the one who knows Jakob best… Maybe Leo too…” Kamui shook her head before laughing. “It’s late. All of the weird thoughts always come when it’s late. We should probably get to bed.”

Selena chuckled, feeling embarrassed at the entire conversation. “Yea… Probably…” She turned to head back to her room before Kamui grabbed onto her arm.

“I… I hope that you can see me as more than a commander someday…” She smiled. “I want to be able to be there for everyone, so please see me as a friend, ok?”

Selena paused before nodding her head. “Sure… I guess that won’t be _too_ hard for me.”

Kamui laughed, passing Selena by. “Of course. You’re a genius after all!”

Selena blinked as Kamui wandered into the barracks, letting her hand hang at her side.

“Me? A genius…?”

. . .

Selena tossed Jakob one of the wooden training swords lying around the circle. “We’ll start off with footwork first as it’s the most important building block of swordplay.” She twirled her sword, feeling the weight of it. “I suppose first, have you had any experience with swords? I need to know if you have or haven’t.”

Jakob looked to the side, considering the question. “Perhaps when I was younger. Kamui would also spar with me when we were younger, but she always had the upper hand.” He turned back, gripping the wooden sword. “Most of my experience comes from text or viewing.”

“Well,” Selena sighed, taking a step forward to adjust his position, “that’s not a terrible start at least. Hopefully something stuck in that empty head of yours.”

“I beg pardon?” Jakob muttered as Selena nudged his feet into a better position.

“There. You need to start off like this at least to keep balance between your feet and avoid falling. Sure, you need to step back to avoid blows and stuff, but you should keep this position in mind.”

“What about actual swordplay?” Jakob deadpanned, bored with the instruction already much to Selena’s chagrin. She moved to face in front of him and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.

“You want to go through actual swordplay now?” Jakob nodded his head at Selena’s prompting, so she sighed, raised her sword and faced him properly.

He was on the ground in five seconds.

Selena put her free hand on her hip as she watched Jakob get up rather slowly, looking annoyed at the prospect of losing so quickly. “So, do you want to learn the basics, or would you rather get your ass handed to you again?” Selena smirked. “I’m game for either.”

“I’d rather learn from someone without sass.”

“Well,” Selena twirled her sword, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for now, butler, so we’ll learn the basics or I can tell Lady Kamui that you weren’t receptive to swordplay.”

Jakob sighed through his nose before straightening up fully, placing his feet into the positions that Selena had advised him about. “Are there any basic moves that I can work through?”

“We’ll work on that for a few hours,” Selena assured him. “First I need to teach you how to dodge without expending too much energy, basic counters, and some theory.”

The pair spent a few hours going through counters, what to do if you were up against someone with only a scabbard, how to use someone’s energy against them, and other close combat techniques that Jakob would be unfamiliar with. At least she didn’t need to teach him how to use a knife in combat against a sword, or anything about knives really.

“Ok, another important thing to remember is that the sword should basically feel like an extension to yourself. It might feel strange to think of this at first since your experience is with expendable knives, but it should come to you in full eventually.”

“Every sword user says this, but is it really so stereotypical as explained?” Jakob questioned, looking at the training sword in his hand with suspicion. “Certainly, it seems like an extension of Lady Kamui’s self, but she excels at everything, so it’s only natural that swordplay would be one of them.”

Selena sighed while turning around, miming with her hand. “Lady Kamui this Lady Kamui that, do you have any other hobbies than servitude and knitting? Perhaps reading?”

“What other hobby must I need than to serve Lady Kamui?” Jakob countered, causing Selena to feel slightly angry for no other reason than he didn’t take her bait. “I have honed my skills for years and now I am a sight to behold. There is no shame in focusing on one practice.”

“Sure, whatever, but you limit yourself if you only focus on one or two things,” Selena explained. She placed a hand on her chest. “Take me for example. I’ve studied the sword for many years, but I also have other hobbies like shopping, helping people with their problems, and some dancing. Not to mention, I hone my skills with other forms of weaponry. My profile is rather remarkable, isn’t it?”

“No.”

“I suppose to you,” Selena sneered in fun, hands on her hips as she leaned lower, “skill with weapons is only a second thought.”

Jakob sighed, turning away. “What is it you want from me, Selena? Why do you care what I do in my spare time?”

“Well, doing only one thing is going to get boring _eventually_ ,” Selena pointed out, leaning back up again. “You can only do one thing for so long, not to mention Kamui’s going to have to move on with her life too. You can’t be attached at the hip forever.”

“We are not attached at the hip… I’m apart from her right now, aren’t I?”

“Only because she ordered you to be.”

Jakob paused, searching for a counter to her argument, but finding none. “Well, then. I guess I’ll just serve Kamui for the rest of my life. I would not shirk away from such an honor.”

Selena sighed, debating if she should tell Jakob or not that Kamui had told her about his past. Perhaps it would clear things up, but at the same time, it wasn’t really her place to ruin anything, or cause Jakob to yell at her or something.  “Well, the future is often not what we expect… I would know.”

“Of course you would.”

“Shut up Jakob, I’m trying to be sincere!” Selena prickled, crossing her arms and turning away. “I’m saying, I would know as I’ve been through futures that I wouldn’t have even begun to dream of when I was younger. Certainly, when I was your age, I was in service of Camilla, so that doesn’t matter as much, but you… In comparison, you’ve had a predictable life… You’re almost lucky…”

“Lucky, huh? Perhaps in circumstance I was. Had I not been through what I did, I would never have been found by Lady Kamui. Perhaps I wouldn’t be here and instead in a stuffy house, married to a stuffy woman.”

“This present hasn’t been entirely unpredictable though, has it Jakob?”

Jakob blinked, looking at Selena with slight confusion and slight curiosity. “What kind of past did you have to not expect your current future?”

“Haha, that’s a secret.” Selena winked, nervous at the prospect of even hinting at her origin to anyone who wasn’t Laslow or Inigo.

“Then I suppose mine will be too.”

“Oh, a woman has ways of finding out things, especially when someone like you has three people to question.”

“Oh right, that old man has returned…” Jakob sighed, adjusting his grip on the wooden sword again. “I just love being criticized over my tea making skills.”

“I’m sure everyone else you insult does as well. Especially Felicia.”

“Felicia needs as much criticism as she can hold, as her skills as a servant are lackluster at best and a horrid mess at worst,” Jakob qualified while going through a few more motions, making sure his positioning was correct. “As Lady Kamui’s butler, it is my duty to correct her mistakes.”

“She’s scared of you, you know. Maybe you should, I dunno,” Selena paused, “lighten up? Just a bit?”

“Why do you care about how I treat others?” Jakob paused, setting his sword down as Selena put hers down. “Why do you even bother to have this conversation with me?”

“Well…” Selena paused. _Why_ do _I want to defend Felicia? Or make him a better person? Is that the kind of person I want to be seen as?_ “I don’t want her to be hurt, and I don’t want you to ruin any kind of possible friendship you can have.”

Jakob narrowed his eyes, looking at Selena with a mix of confusion and suspicion. “Why would you care how I interact with others…?”

“Well…” Selena sighed. “Sometimes, our pasts catch up with our presents…” She shook her head. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Let’s go over some of the drills again.”

Jakob sighed, but followed after her motions.

After Selena sat down for dinner, Kamui slid into the chair in front of her, followed by Prince Leo on one side and Azura fitting in next to the retainer. The singer smiled to Selena before starting on her meal. Prince Leo nodded at her, recognizing her from Camilla’s servitude, Selena supposed. The dark knight was a genius after all. The thought made her skin prickle and she felt the urge to prove herself to him in some way just so that she could be on his level.

“Well, we have a few more days of preparations before King Garon wants us to head to the port,” Kamui informed the mercenary before chewing on her salad. “How is Jakob coming along? We had sparred in the past, but I figured it would be better to expand on his current knowledge.”

“Well,” Selena chuckled as Azura giggled, probably in anticipation, “he was irritated about getting beat in five seconds, but I told him that footwork was important. Guess he didn’t believe me at first.” Kamui blinked, waiting for Selena to finish. “He’s doing ok. Nothing ready for a duel or anything, but we don’t have to worry about… anything.”

“Well, you’re a very capable warrior, so I don’t have to worry about him when he’s with you,” Kamui smiled. “And since he’s with you, I don’t have to worry about you. You two make a good team.”

“Well, Kamui,” Leo spoke up, “any team with a healer would naturally perform better than other teams.”

“Oh yea?” Selena sneered before shoving a piece of meat into her mouth. “I’m not good enough for you?”

“Naturally your abilities are what I would expect, but I expect more from you than another since you are big sister’s retainer.” Leo smiled in a rather cynical way. “I would expect the same of Odin or Laslow, for that matter, but more so from Odin.”

“He’d follow you off of a cliff you know,” Selena sighed out, shaking her head with defeatism. “That guy has an empty head.”

“Oh, Odin is clever, Selena,” Leo laughed. “You know that well enough.” He and Kamui began to segue into another conversation, leaving Selena and Azura to chat about the incident the night before.

“I’m surprised you managed to wrap Felicia and Kaze into your observations last night,” the singer commented, touching her pendant with a slim finger. “I can rather understand Felicia’s nervousness about her master, but Kaze…” She chuckled. “Perhaps he had been looking for me. He’s been feeling lonely ever since leaving Hoshido and I am his only link.”

“Well… Other than Mozu, I suppose…” Selena sighed, finishing more of her food. “I guess he seems nice enough, but I still don’t trust him completely…”

“Of course. But then why do you trust me?” The singer’s prompt caused Selena to pay her more attention and Leo and Kamui did the same, the prince focusing his attention on the singer strongly.

“Well…” Selena paused, meeting gazes with Kamui before staring back again at the blue haired lancer. “You’re… Lady Camilla’s family?”

“Hm. Yes. I suppose I am…”

“That’s why the prince and princesses of Hoshido trusted Lady Kamui, right?” Selena looked over at the Nohrian princess, causing her to blush and look to the side, away from the group.

“I don’t deserve their trust… Or anyone else other than my family…”

Leo touched Kamui’s shoulder in a show of comforting while Azura shook her head, denying Kamui’s accusations to herself.

Selena figured it was only natural that the princess would feel that way. She was leading a vanguard to vanquish a foe after all. There wasn’t really a lot of time for pampered feelings of trust. Though, she was still going to get it anyway; Kamui had a kind heart, something that didn’t exist in Nohr, even within Elise sometimes. Selena figured that Garon had ruined even the youngest princess, despite her efforts to bring light to the group.

“Well, whether you deserve it or not, you still get it,” Selena said, crossing her arms in front of the princess as she looked to the mercenary with surprised, tear-filled eyes. Selena peeked at the girl before huffing, turning away to avoid having her embarrassment found out. “W-well, you lead us after all. You usually do the thing that’s right, even if it doesn’t end the way you want it to.”

Leo nodded his head. “Even if your strategy hasn’t been refined, we all look up to you. You have confidence and strength, something that others lack. You have the courage to do what’s right in the face of adversity, something that even Xander and I struggle with.”

“You have a natural kindness, Kamui,” Azura agreed, smiling at the princess. “Without you, we might all lose our direction.”

“Well…” Kamui blushed, picking at her food. “I still make mistakes.”

“Of course you do,” Leo chuckled. “You’re still learning and even then, no one’s perfect. Not even me. Or Selena,” he teased, looking at the mercenary and Selena crossed her arms and huffed.

“Well, I may not be there yet, but I’m close, don’t deny.” The group shared a laugh over each person’s ambitions.

“I suppose it’s ok if I make mistakes, as long as nothing terrible happens…”

“Yes, that’s all part of the learning progress.”

Selena sighed, leaning her cheek in her hand, thinking about how she had time traveled for a second. “Well, there are ways to correct errors… But not like I’d know or anything.”

Azura smiled, eyes closed. “Of course, Selena.”

Kamui and Leo shared a look of enjoyment and Selena closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair. _Man, relationships are so weird. I don’t know if I could even really make friends if I had the chance._

The thought of spending more time with Kamui’s army wasn’t a bad feeling, though, and Selena smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my two commenters, you two are amazing.  
> I'm glad I hit 300 views on this too, it makes me happy that someone else likes to read about this ship.  
> Happy reading~


	7. Breeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is so stressful T-T at least i'm ahead with the chapter work.  
> This chapter was fun to write, so I hope you guys also enjoy reading it!   
> I finally feel comfortable writing Jakob's character, though this is evident about two chapters from now, since that's where I am in the writing process. Selena is still tricky, but she is altogether less difficult.

Selena opened the door to her astral realm room, checking up on her potted plants. The few days they had spent on the surface seemed to pass faster for the astral realm as Lilith had told her. The plants could hardly be called sproutlings anymore and it would likely be only a week or two before they were ready to be preserved.

Azura said that was the best way to keep this herb anyway.

Selena sat down on her bed, wondering what she could grow in the pots next. She would have to get more soil of course or use something to freshen it up. Perhaps she could grow foodstuffs? Flowers?

“What would I need flowers for, though?”

Maybe it could be a special type of flower. Some kind of seed she could bring home to Ylisse once the war was over, since she would have to go back anyway. “Maybe a little bit of here I can use to remember the past… Or the future… Whatever it is anyway.” She sighed and stood back up.

There were only a few more people wandering around the realm. Beruka was in the smithy, patching up her latest work, Nyx was making some medicinal pastes with Felicia’s help (perhaps Elise was also watching?) and Peri was moping around, twirling knives in her fingers before throwing them at a target. Her accuracy wasn’t the best.

Selena didn’t particularly want to talk to any of them, especially since she wasn’t feeling up to it and they were to march tomorrow anyway (at least to the docks, so it wasn’t like Selena would feel achey). It was fairly late in the day at the surface, even if it looked near midday in the astral realm.

“Oh Selena, I’ve found a few more cool astral realms, so can you let Kamui know we have options? It would be helpful to her, I’m sure.” Lilith twirled in the air as she began gathering power to transport Selena back.

“Yea sure, whatever,” Selena dismissed, inhaling to prepare herself for the transportation.

“Thank you! You’re the best, Selena!”

Selena closed her eyes, feeling the tingle of magic wrap around her body, before she felt her feet touch down in the streets of Nestra. Azura and Kamui were waiting for her. “So, what’s going on so far?”

“Medicine, plants, knife practice…” Selena paused. “Nothing much.”

Azura nodded, turning to look at Kamui, the setting sun casting deep shadows on their faces. “We should all turn in early today, then, so that we can arrive at the docks before Prince Xander. I don’t think he’ll appreciate it if we were late for his arrival.”

Kamui laughed, lightly hitting Azura on the shoulder before turning and walking with the singer to the barracks. “I doubt he’d be too upset, he wants to see us after all…”

Selena sighed before following the pair of princesses and sat herself down at a table occupied by Odin and Niles. Laslow was off doing something again, Jakob was who knows where, and Beruka was still in the astral realm, though she might return soon if the time had passed long enough down there. Camilla was following Kamui up to the strategy room, likely to settle a plan in stone. It was disappointing, as Selena wanted to spend some quality time with her Lady, but what happened happened. Perhaps during the sea travel they would have time to talk.

Odin slammed a notebook on the table, startling Selena and eliciting a chuckle from Niles. “This here! Like I’ve said before, I think up a lot of suitable weapon names! Look at the evidence and weep!” He must have been continuing his conversation with Niles.

“Well, as much as your knowledge elucidates me,” Niles said while pushing the journal slightly away from him, “I can’t say that spending every hour of the day making names for weapons and moves is an ample use of my time, especially now that Lord Leo has returned and he will be requesting my presence every hour of his waking time.” Niles chuckled, sending a sly look to Selena and she shuddered. “Maybe even when he’s… not awake.”

“Oh gross, keep your thoughts to yourself,” Selena snapped, rubbing her finer across the table with boredom. “I hope Leo doesn’t suffer having you as a retainer.”

“Oh, no, that suffering is reserved for just me only,” Niles purred and Odin leaned away from his fellow retainer. “However, it is possible to have others suffer.”

“My friend, how about you slow down for a bit…?” Odin sighed, breaking out of character. Selena wondered if he did that a lot around Niles.

From what she had learned, he had used the persona as a coping mechanism in the past (future?), but probably used it now because he darn well wanted to now that they were in Nohr. Selena didn’t care much. She leaned on her arm, elbow on the table. “Yea Niles, what’s the deal with your innuendo all the time? I’m sure you’ve made poor Kamui suffer.”

“Well,” Niles breathed out while leaning back, “it’s more fun to make a woundless person suffer.” He looked over to where Mozu was standing at the bar, arguing with Charlotte about something. “Those two are prime suspects.”

“Leave the poor girl alone you pervert,” Selena groaned while becoming bored. “If you’re going to bother someone, bother someone who actually deserves it.”

“Hmmm, now who would that be, Selena? You?”

“Do I deserve it? No! There’s your answer.”

Selena watched as Silas moved through the crowd, spreading a message. After making his way over to their table he dipped his head. “Kamui would like it if we all retired early. We might face resistance on the way to the docks, however low chances. She wants us to be prepared, so we retire in about ten minutes.”

Odin and Selena stood up, expressing slight thanks, before watching Niles stalk off to his own room, passing by Laslow in the process, leaning closet to the mercenary’s face. Odin sighed. “Well, I suppose I will have to retire if Kamui deems it appropriate. I need to be there for Prince Leo’s beck and call! But he’s spending enough time around others, so I guess I don’t need to worry as much.”

“Well, now that Camilla has Kamui to dote over, I’m not needed quite as much either,” Selena admitted.

As the pair climbed the stairs to their separate rooms, Odin paused. “Have… Have you had any dreams of home?”

“Yes. Sometimes.” Selena looked at him with curiosity. “Why?”

“Do… Do you plan on going back…?”

Selena crossed her arms and leaned up against the wall. “Of course. Sure, we accepted to come here, but I’d really like to return home after all this is done. Even if…” She paused. “Even if Lady Camilla, Beruka, and Lady Kamui would miss me.” She shook her head, breathing out a sigh. “It’s our mission. We need to finish it. After that, I’m going to go home, no matter what happens.”

“I…” Odin paused and looked to the side, guilt on his face. “I… Don’t know if I want to go back…”

“What, are you crazy?” Selena looked quickly around before pulling him into a closet. “Are you serious?” She shook her head, an incredulous look surely on her face. “What about Lissa? Cynthia? Luci? Brady? What about everyone that you’d leave behind?”

“W-well!” Odin sighed, pushing Selena’s hand away. “Deciding isn’t as easy as you’d think. I have friends here! People I’ve grown close to. Niles is fun to fight with, Prince Leo is amazing, Kamui is super nice!” He narrowed his eyes at Selena as she guffawed. “I’ve been in this army longer than you have and the effects are clear. I… I just don’t know any more.”

Selena sighed and released her friend, taking a step back to observe him in full. “Well, that’s why I’m not getting close to anyone. Not like that.”

“Lady Camilla and Beruka?”

“Sure, they’re friends, but we’re not super duper close.”

“Kamui? Azura?”

“She’s a commander and someone I can talk to. Azura is nice, but we’re not even close.”

Odin paused. “Jakob?”

Selena opened her mouth before closing it quickly again. “We’re fighting partners and I’m training him, sure, but we’re not really… friends…”

Odin sighed, shook his head slightly, and walked out of the closet. “Perhaps we’ve all changed in different ways, but I had hoped that you would be able to get a little closer to people at least.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Odin?” The name felt sour on her tongue. If only she could refer to him with his real name, perhaps their conversation could seem more sincere.

He turned back to her, a bittersweet smile on his face. “What do you think it means?” He continued on his way, disappearing from her sight.

Selena rubbed her forehead, confused. It wasn’t like Odin to be sincere, not like that. But, all in all, it was confusing to be around people she ultimately couldn’t get extremely close to. It wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy being around them, but she had to avoid calling them friends for her own sake.

She turned, nearly ran into Jakob as he came down the narrow stairs, uttered an apology, and clambered up to her room, falling on her bed.

“Anankos…” She shoved her head into the pillow, hoping to fall asleep quickly.

. . .

_“Mommy, why is Daddy so busy lately? I wanna play with Luci more and go to Ylisse, but he never has time to take me.”_

_“Well, Severa, it’s a few days trip to Ylisse and your dad is just managing things. He’s an important part of the ‘information system’ after all!”_

_“Hmph, I don’t care about some info mashing system, I just wanna see Daddy. What if we got Luci to come here?”_

_“I’m sure Luci is also busy. She is a princess after all, Severa. She’s also older than you.”_

_“Well… then… What if we had Cynthia come over and her mom and we can sit down and have a picnic and read those funny heart stories that her mom likes to read.”_

_“Oh Severa, if you want to read romance novels all you had to do was ask.”_

_“Don’t tease me Mommy, I was just suggesting.”_

_“Well, I might be able to get Sumia and Cynthia to come here. It’s been a while since we’ve had a day out…”_

_“Mommy?”_

_“We’ve all been busy lately, but if you really want to spend some time, then I’m sure we can make it work out.”_

_“Yay! I’ll go make my bed then.”_

_“It won’t be for at least a week though, Severa, it takes a bit of time to come down and we also need to let them know.”_

_“Well, then I’ll tell Daddy first when he comes home. Then we can all get ready.”_

_~_

_“Mother… Is gone…?”_

_~_

_“What good is a book when all it does is taunt you with memories and what-could-have-been’s!?”_

. . .

Selena rubbed her neck as she gazed out at the water from the port. The boats were almost ready to be loaded, though it was annoying that they would have to share a boat with other Nohrian soldiers. It couldn’t really be helped, Selena supposed. It didn’t mean she was going to like it, though.

Laslow and Peri passed a list between the two of them as Camilla briefed Beruka. The princess had already informed Selena of her own personal plans, including but not limited to keeping checks on various suspicious people in the army (not Kaze surprisingly), making sure Camilla’s makeup stayed free of water, and one day of kitchen duty. Selena didn’t mind too much, she didn’t get sea sickness at least, but she had been looking forward to doing nothing.

Oh well. Doing nothing was a trite dream anyway.

Kamui and Leo walked past the mercenary, discussing plans of what to do exactly once they landed in Hoshido.

Selena mused that the princess and Leo had been hanging out a lot, at least when she saw them. Certainly, they were the closest in age of all the other siblings, but she had to wonder at least a little bit. Camilla didn’t seem too upset, at least, but Jakob had been touchy, especially after the two of them, Azura, and Selena had dined together that one night. Or something. She didn’t really stick around to hear his explanation.

Laslow walked over to Selena, passing his list to her. “We finished all of these right? Prince Xander will be happy with us, right?”

Selena gave it back to him without really looking at the words. “Yea, I’m sure you did whatever you needed to do. Except maybe Peri, but she was pulling double duty at the kitchen anyway.”

Peri puffed out her cheeks and crossed her arms. “Just because I’m good at cooking doesn’t mean I wanna do it alllll the time.”

“Well, I guess we could have Jakob or… Not Felicia…” Laslow paused and touched his chin. “Who else is good at cooking?”

“Nyx is doing a lot of medicinal related things, but I guess she’d be a decent candidate…” Selena mused. “I dunno…”

“Well, what about you?”

“What do you mean, of course I’m good at cooking! I’d be an amazing candidate.”

“Oh really?” Peri laughed, walking over all the way. “Then we should have a competition!”

“Of course! I could beat you any day, but we have limited supplies here, so maybe when we get to Hoshido. I don’t want you to use too much stuff up in your attempt to beat me.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t be the one trying to improvise?”

“S-shut up! Of course not!” Selena crossed her arms and walked away, not wanting to get Peri angry or anything. Laslow and Peri ran in the opposite direction, around where Leo and Kamui had gone to, for whatever reason.

She watched as Jakob gave some orders to Mozu, Niles lurking in the background with Odin, and the villager nodded her head and boarded the boat. Most of Kamui’s army had already done so, except for Kamui, Leo, their retainers, and Xander’s retainers.

She watched as Mozu handed a box to Kaze as she got to the deck and the ninja and the mercenary made eye contact. Kaze waved before turning away. Selena huffed to herself and walked over to Jakob, having nothing better to do. “SO! Kamui and I were talking a few nights ago.”

Jakob leafed through a stack of papers paying Selena almost no mind at all. “Wonderful. Pray tell what about?”

“L-O-V-E.”

“Yes, ok.” He sorted the papers again. “I assume you received stellar advice from Lady Kamui. She’s well knowledgeable, at least when it comes to the books sort.” He turned to smirk at the mercenary. “Now, who is the object of your affection? Laslow perhaps? Or maybe even Odin? Or, even more scandalous, Niles? Or is it perhaps Kaze or Lady Azura? How cute that you too should fall in love like a normal, ordinary person.”

“I’m not ‘cute’! Not like that! And I don’t have feelings for anyone, thank you very much!” Selena huffed and crossed her arms, hoping the blush on her face would fade away. “Besides, we were talking about you, anyway.”

She almost missed him stiffen and probably would have if she hadn’t known him well enough. “I won’t have you prying into my personal life.”

“What personal life?” Selena deadpanned.

Jakob paused, clearly searching for a response to her accusation as he turned back to his work. “Well, that would be personal.”

“Of course it would be, Jakob,” Selena sighed, patting him on the shoulder. “If your life revolves completely around Lady Kamui that’s ok, you can admit it. Admission is the first step to recovery.”

“I don’t need to recover from anything.”

“Your workaholic tendencies shy people away from you. I’d say there’s some work to be done.”

“What about your own ethic? You’re too competitive.”

Selena leaned back as Jakob turned away. “This isn’t about me right now.” Selena followed him as he tried to walk away from her, blocking his path with a satisfied pose. “I can help you, you know. I happen to be a woman.”

“Oh really? I wasn’t completely sure.”

Selena rolled her eyes at Jakob’s half-assed humor, shaking her head. “Look, any more dallying and she’s probably going to disappear from your grasp. Surely you aren’t satisfied as is?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying, Selena…” Jakob had a grimace on his face, though he also seemed equal parts embarrassed.

“Is it only an implication, or is there really something more? You’re not stupid, so surely you understand what I’m saying.” Selena leaned back from her pose as Jakob turned away from his papers, looking out across the city they would be leaving behind.

“If I am to remain in her shadow forever, then it is a position I accept without refrain.”

“Hm?” This didn’t seem like what she was expecting. “If you’re moving the subject to raw talent, it’s not going to work.”

Jakob sighed before looking back at Selena. “Respect and admiration do not equate to romantic feelings. Perhaps such emotions can develop over time, but a raw formula does not work with human emotions.”

“Then you are one clingy friend, butler.”

“It is but one of a butler’s many duties.” The pair turned as Kamui waltzed over, Leo, Xander, and a blue haired maid in tow. Selena watched as both the maid and Jakob balked at each other’s presences and she figured that Blue was one of Kamui’s retainers. It must have been Flora; she and Felicia looked quite alike and Felicia had a sister, after all.

“It’s time to saddle up!” Kamui gave the pair a bit smile. “Let’s get onboard before we lose too much time.”

“Of course, Lady Kamui,” Jakob bowed, and Selena dipped her head in acknowledgement. She met gazes with Jakob.

“We aren’t done with this conversation yet.”

“Oh joy, I can’t wait to pick up from where we left off.” Jakob and Selena followed the royals onto the ship and set off, letting the wind take them.

The ship sailed rather well, if the first few days were of any judge. It was a large boat, too, so Selena could easily avoid people that she didn’t want to interact with. Various boxes were stacked about, the captain was captaining the ship well, and soldiers were generally going about their work. The sea breeze scattered across the air, creating an interesting scent for the passengers aboard, or at least on the deck of the ship.

There were a few large storage areas in the ship along with rooms. Kamui’s army had one, big shared room which unsettled Selena, but she figured it was unavoidable. The royals all had one single room near the captain’s room, probably for security purposes or whatever.

She watched as Felicia slipped on a random puddle of water, nearly pulling down Kaze with her. Azura giggled and helped the maid up as Flora watched with a bored expression. Selena shook her head with mirth as she gazed from afar. The maid was nearly hopeless as a maid, but she was a nice person and a decent fighter which was always to be respected.

Niles and Odin were prancing around, checking boxes and chatting about some random thing, Selena was sure. Keaton was playing around with Charlotte and the fighter smacked the wolfskin before he could do anything weird. Nyx was talking with Kamui about something.

There were a few people absent that Selena could observe from her slightly elevated position. Perhaps they were in charge of a night shift and were dozing off. She would be sleeping too if it weren’t for the fact she didn’t have a night shift. Being up and wandering around a ship’s deck in the middle of the night didn’t sound too appealing to her.

Beruka appeared next to the mercenary, startling Selena nearly out of her skin. “Lady Camilla has new information for us.”

“Jeez, Beruka, could you do it normally?” Selena smoothed out her pigtails.

“Do what?”

“Ugh, nothing…” She sighed. “What’s it about?”

“Camilla has changed our kitchen duty to today as a result of various conflicting schedules. Apparently the ship captain was informed of a different list. Lady Camilla suspects Iago tried to change something.”

“Ugh, I’m sure he’s up to something…” It was no secret that Iago hated the entirety of Kamui’s army, but Selena really hadn’t paid him much mind in favor of keeping tabs on Hans ever since the Cheve incident. Clearly he also idn’t like them, so Selena had found records of his behavior and tried to avoid running into the axe man.

“Among schedule conflicts, there was miscommunication about weather. There is to be a major storm either tonight or tomorrow. Perhaps even for longer.”

“Guh, just the thing to get wrong…” Selena muttered. “How are we going to deal with this?”

“Lady Camilla has worked with Lady Kamui and Lords Leo and Xander to work out shifts, figure out who is most capable at sea, and how to harness Felicia and Flora’s ice powers.”

Selena paused. “Flora came with Xander, right? Is it possible that Xander knew about the storms or the miscommunication?”

“It is not out of the realm; however, I am not beholden with that knowledge.”

“Figures…” Selena shook her head before standing up, placing her hands on her hips. “Well, what’s the plan for that, then? Do I need to do anything?”

“I believe not, but the list is not final,” Beruka said while following Selena around the deck of the boat. “So far, Lady Camilla and her siblings will be taking the shift, Azura will be helping out, Flora and Felicia will be using their powers to help control the waves, Kaze will also be helping, Nyx and Odin will be assisting, and I will be up because I need to make sure nothing happens to Lady Camilla.”

“Ok, that’s a decent list…” Selena muttered. “Is the storm predicted to be really bad, or just a normal storm? You said major, but appearances are different per person.”

“I know not where the storm falls under the list of storms, but the captain said it wasn’t to be the worst he had seen. Perhaps fifth.”

Selena shot Beruka a blank expression. “Well, that’s helpful.”

“I am not a sea person. I cannot help with judgements.”

“Well, ok, I’ll just head to the kitchen and begin helping because there’s nothing better to do…” Beruka nodded her head at Selena’s comment and walked off to talk with Benny about something. The knight seemed rather woozy on his feet and Selena wondered if he was seasick.

Speaking of, she wondered who else would or could get seasick. Not her at least, she had been on ships before.

Robin certainly was a crazy tactician, setting half their fleet on fire, but, hey, as long as it worked, Selena supposed. Everything had ultimately worked out in the end, even if it seemed like they would be doomed once again.

Selena exhaled, letting the memories flow through her brain for a second. Owain seemed rather worried about his connection to this world, and Severa wasn’t completely sure about anything any more. Did Inigo also want to stay behind? Were they all getting too attached? They had been worried about returning or leaving their world, but it wasn’t like they could return there. No one would be in their world except ghosts.

Severa still wanted to go home to Ylisse, where her not mother and not father were, probably with her baby self. Had they named the child after her? Did they not?

The boat rocked, startling Selena out of her thoughts. She shook her head before heading over to the kitchen, satisfied that Peri was not the current chef.

. . .

Selena smacked her wet bangs out of her face, looking up at the dark clouds spilling rain across the ocean, a lightning strike joining a couple of them for half a millisecond. Kaze was struggling with one of the masts and she watched as Odin used his magic to untangle some of the ropes. Nyx was also helping him, but her small body didn’t help against the wind. Another wave crashed across the deck of the boat, but it wasn’t rough enough to have Selena worry about the boat being compromised or someone sent offboard.

Kamui ordered a few more people around and Flora and Felicia turned a second wave into cold snow, spilling it over Niles and Azura accidently. Mozu grabbed a few boxes of goods with Beruka before the pair retired into the storage area.

Despite Kamui having handed out a few master seals among the army, mainly Effie, Arthur, Silas, Kaze, those who had been with her for a while, the various people were still being blown around in the wind, their newfound strength not helping them at all.

Some other members were hidden around, possibly a few in the sleeping room, and Selena figured that she wouldn’t stand around for a few more minutes if she could avoid it, so she grabbed a box of knives before retiring into the large room, slamming the doors behind her, but not bolting them of course, and turned the area into darkness. She set the box on the ground near the door, sighing as she did so.

“Jeez, you’d think the world couldn’t get any wetter…” She sighed and wrung out her pigtails, doing little to help her dry off. They smacked into her shoulders, but her shirt was so wet it didn’t even matter. Water dripped onto the floor and Selena felt slight disappointment that it would be a cold night for her.

“At least someone’s enjoying the weather…” Selena heard someone snark at her from further into the large room and Selena rolled her eyes. Certainly they couldn’t see each other, but she and Jakob knew each other’s voices enough to recognize the other person.

“What’s the matter, baby, got a bitty little stomachache?” Selena took a step forward, listening to the various boxes move around from the rocking of the boat.

She heard Jakob choke on something before giving an annoyed sigh. “You can hardly blame me… I have never been on a boat… let alone a horrid storm… Also cut that tone out… it’s annoying.”

Selena sighed, feeling slightly sorry for the butler. She hadn’t ever really gotten seasick, but she had suffered of the flu a few times which was pretty bad. She walked over, making sure to time the swinging of the hammocks properly to feel his forehead without issue. “Well, you feel clammy of course, but I suppose that’s just par for the course.”

“Wonderful…”

Selena leaned back and crossed her arms, staying even with the swaying of the boat. “If you can snark at me, then maybe you don’t really feel so bad.”

“Hand the bucket…”

Selena sighed before complying, standing back a few inches as he threw up, wondering if anyone else would get this sick. At least most people were fine on the normal day, but if there were going to be more storms, perhaps this was going to be an issue. There were some glasses in the corner of the room, so Selena filled one of them up with water, leaned Jakob up, and handed him the glass, making sure she didn’t spill it, though the thought crossed her mind. “If you get even sicker, you won’t be able to help Kamui out with anything,” she stated matter-of-factly.

He didn’t respond, so Selena figured he really was sick enough to ignore her. She let him sink back into the hammock. “Is there anyone else down here?”

“Not sure…”

It was dark enough to where Selena couldn’t verify that for herself either, but she couldn’t hear anyone. It would be strange if no one else was there, so she took a walk around, feeling for the hammocks and memorizing the layout of the room. No noise came forth other than the creaking of the boat and the light smacks of boxes against the walls. “Huh, seems that everyone else is somewhere else.”

Jakob was silent, and Selena could just make out that he was laying an arm across his eyes, looking fairly pitiful. It wasn’t like she felt _too_ bad for him, but a small stab of pity placed itself in her heart. She sighed and walked back over, pulling up the box to sit down properly. She rested her elbows on her knees, placing her face in her hands to stare at him for a few seconds. “So, anything you want to talk about.”

“No…”

“Do you want to hear me talk to distract yourself? I don’t think you have anything else to throw up other than water. I’d hand you a book, but it’s pitch black in here.”

“Sure…”

If he was begging for reprieve, he really must have been feeling terrible. She felt another prick of pity that hadn’t been there before. She shifted around on the crate, not the most comfortable thing to be sitting on. “Well… I can’t say that anything particularly happy happened, but there were certainly a lot of interesting things in my past…” Selena paused as she searched for an ample topic and, upon finding it, sat up straight. “Oh! You remember the invisible enemies we fought in the astral realm? Well, there were a lot of those, or things like those, where I came from. There was this one guy in my army who was obsessed with them, even taking their hands and stuff. It was really creepy and he even scared the leader, the Prince. But he was a nice person. I think.” Selena paused. “I’m not sure. Oh, I guess my father is a prime suspect for funny stories as well, but I don’t really want to desecrate his memories. Him or my mom, I guess.” She crossed her arms and tilted her head, thinking of another event to tell.

“Your parents are dead…?” Jakob’s voice was fairly quiet and Selena almost missed it for the lightning.

“Yea,” Selena answered, not really feeling anything in particular, leaning forward again with a pause. “They died when I was young, defending the country from the enemy…” She sighed before shaking her head. “I never expected my mother to die, considering she was perfect and all, but I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t feel any bitterness from it any more.” She leaned back. “Enough about that though, I’ll move onto something else…”

“I thought your mother was alive.”

“Hm? Did I really say that?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well, I can’t clarify…” Selena paused again, reflecting on the time travel. “There’s a lot of things that I can’t clarify…”

Noticing her change in tone, Jakob slowly turned in the hammock, coming to a rest with his head on his arm. “How long have you used the sword?”

“Oh jeez, my father started teaching me when I was like six, but I only really needed to do it seriously when I was twelve.”

“Twelve!?” His voice wasn’t as strong as normal, but the surprise was still evident.

“Yea… Where I come from, it was….” _Hellish._ “Really bad. After all our parents died, or maybe before, our leader was defeated, and uh, a large dragon took over the w- country, it was basically the end.” Selena sighed shaking her head, half trying to make everything vague enough and half trying to actually sound sincere. “It was… terrible. At the end, we were all cornered in the last castle, broken as it was, and our leader, my friend… Luci, yea Luci, was trying to perform a rite that could defeat the dragon.”

Jakob waited for Selena to continue, the mercenary wrapped up in emotions and unable to speak at first.

“We failed. We didn’t have all of the requirements. So, we were going to die. Our world was already pretty much destroyed, everyone was dying, and the dragon had created our world into hell. We…” How much could she reveal without breaking Anankos’s covenant? As long as she didn’t give away the world that she was in, certainly she would be ok… “Well, we managed to escape and defeat the dragon in another way.”

Jakob was silent, probably reflecting on her words. Selena couldn’t imply that she time traveled, of course, because that would imply by existence that she came from another world. If she kept it vague enough, she could imply it to be on a distant country. Travelers were a thing, anyway, considering Nohr’s connections with other countries.

“I mean, it’s gone and done now, everything is ok,” Selena waved her hands nervously. “Everything is ok…”

“It makes sense.”

“Huh?”

“Why you are numb to battle and why you…” Jakob paused to choose his word. “Fall into action naturally.”

“Well… I don’t want pity. It’s gone and done.” Selena sighed, brushing her bangs out of her face with a huff. “Nothing I can do about it.”

“Do you get nightmares?”

“Well yea, but not as much as before. Odin helped a bit.” She shook her head, clearing the thoughts out of her head. “I don’t need to talk about anything depressing though. Hm, how about the time Beruka and I-“

The doors slammed open, causing Selena to jump and turn sharply with a squeak, and Arthur’s voice came forth before he promptly slipped down the stairs and collapsed at the base.

“Arthur? Are you- gya!” Silas also slipped down the stairs, landing on the fighter’s back before Effie followed the same tumble, squashing both Silas and Arthur uncomfortably.

Selena sighed and shook her head, recovered from the startle. “You guys are useless.” Jakob rolled over to avoid the light and Selena turned her head to watch him. Perhaps it would be better if she left him to his lonesome. She rolled her eyes, stood up, and helped the three to their own beds.

. . .

Selena tightened the rope as Flora checked the wind, turning some raindrops into snow, even though there wasn’t enough water and wind to cause the boat much issue. Xander walked by the pair, nodded his head in satisfaction, and continued on his way.

“So, you served Lady Kamui as well? Jakob hasn’t talked about you a lot, but maybe Felicia has…” Selena reflected, trying to remember what she and the pink haired maid had even talked about. “Kamui is a lucky person, having… Three? Four? However many retainers.”

“Well, she is the tactician of this army, even though Prince Leo is helping her,” Flora admitted, helping Selena tie the knot. “She needed help around the fortress too. Though Jakob came before Felicia and I did, we all helped her learn things, like reading and history and proper attitude.”

Selena leaned back, avoiding a puddle of water. “Wow, I sure am tired. What about you?”

“Yes, I have been up for quite a while… What have you been doing?” Flora prompted politely.

“Oh, just helping out those who got seasick. Jakob was a struggle since he got hit hard, and I think Arthur got his head hit or something because he was struggling, but he wasn’t as sick, surprisingly.” Selena pausd. “I think he got food poisoning or something. Strange, since everything here is fresh. Oh well,” She shrugged, leaning back down, “Effie and Silas were about normal. Y’know, gagging and stuff but nothing really happening.”

Flora took a step back. Selena couldn’t see her expression. “Is… Is Jakob ok?”

“I think he’s fine now.” Selena tugged on a knot, making sure it was secure. “Once the storm stopped, he told me that it was probably the cause.” Selena chuckled, a darker expression coming onto her face. “This is good blackmail material.”

“Why would… Why would you want to blackmail him, exactly?”

“Oh I dunno, something probably,” Selena shrugged, standing up fully, done with the rope. “Maybe about Lady Kamui.”

“Lady Kamui?”

Selena laughed, placing her hands on her hips with confidence. “I’m convinced that he has feelings for Lady Kamui. He denies it of course, but I have a feeling that he likes her.”

“Oh… Is that so…?” Flora seemed disappointed at the revelation, but Selena didn’t really know her well enough to think of a reason why. “I suppose it’s not entirely unexpected, though… I have my doubts.”

“Yea… There is a small, teensy, tiny chance that I’m wrong, but I’m willing to bet that I’m not!” Selena shook her head as some spray hit her face, waving a hand through the air. “Though, Kamui doesn’t think he is,.”

“She would know him best. They’re closest, after all.”

“Yea, you’re right.” Selena shrugged. “Maybe I’m just digging for a reason to tease him, but my parents almost didn’t get together, so I suppose if it’s meant to be, then I’ll help it along.”

“Well…” Flora looked to the sides. “I don’t know about Kamui, but Prince Leo has always shown an………. Interest in her…”

“They were raised as siblings,” Selena balked.

“Well. It’s… confusing.” Flora paused. “He was more like a teacher to her. Garon never really visited, the siblings never really visited often save Elise who had the most time. Kamui was often lonely. When I was younger, I suspected that they knew that Kamui wasn’t truly related to them, and once I heard a conversation between them, confirming it.”

“Kamui’s certainly an enigma, then,” Selena concluded with a huff. “Even my past wasn’t so complicated.”

“Well, I suppose people shouldn’t dig in to the relationships of others unless it may hurt another unrelated person.”

“Yea, you’re right, Flora.”

“Has… Has Jakob ever mentioned me to you?”

“Hm, I can’t remember. Since I didn’t really know a face, I couldn’t place it even if he did. I mean,” Selena stuttered, “it’s not like I was paying particular attention to what he was saying since he’s a rude butler, but it’s just… I dunno. I don’t know.” She huffed, trying to rub away the blush that was probably for sure on her face. “It doesn’t matter.”

Flora cocked her head to the side slightly, enough for Selena to notice but not enough for her to know why. “Well, that’s fine.” She bowed her head. “Now if you will excuse me, I should probably check up on Felicia.”

“Yea, that’s fine…” Selena watched as the blue haired maid walked away, head slightly down. “Well, that was a weird conversation…”

Her conversations at dinner weren’t any less strange. Jakob, Arthur, and Effie were not in attendance and neither was Benny. Beruka informed the mercenary that he had also gotten sick and was resting in the medical area, being tended by Felicia. Selena didn’t know why Beruka of all people would know, but she supposed it wasn’t unlike Beruka to observe people from afar.

Leo and Kamui were sitting together again, Xander on his left and Azura on her right. Selena decided to sit with Lady Camilla that evening in order to catch up properly with her lady. “Oh Selena, I hope you haven’t overworked yourself. You must have been up for a full day at this point.”

“Same to you Lady Camilla, it would be rude of me not to inquire about you, especially since you’re such an integral part of this army.”

“Oh darling, you flatter me,” Camilla laughed with a sweep of her hand. “I slept fairly well during the storm, but I had dreams about my poor wyvern, cooped up below deck. I checked up on her earlier, though, and she’s doing fine.”

“That’s a relief,” Selena forced out. Camilla was quite like Cherche in that aspect, but at least she wasn’t completely obsessed with her wyvern like the pink haired woman. “I’ll probably just sleep hard tonight. I’ve been on ships before, so I’m kinda used to everything.” Selena watched as Beruka slid down into the seat next to Camilla, meal on a tray.

“How are you doing today, my darling Beruka?” Camilla purred while hugging the shorter retainer. Selena felt a prickle of envy, but quickly shoved it down, stuffing food in her mouth instead of talking. Camilla must have noticed and laughed. “Oh Selena, I love you too.”

“I know, I know,” Selena muttered after swallowing her food. “It’s nothing.”

“Lady Elise says that all of the sick passengers have been checked up on, Niles’s injury has been tended to, and the supplies are not running low.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll have to give my adorable little sister a hug for her work, she’s been doing so well.”

“Sometimes I worry about her, but then I remember that she has all of her siblings here, so I don’t feel nervous anymore,” Selena admitted. “Not like I particularly worry, but she’s young so I guess those feelings are natural.”

“Well, she’s only a few years younger than you, Selena. Besides that,” Camilla changed the subject, “what were you doing today? I asked Kamui, but she said she hadn’t seen you much.”

“Oh, just helping out below deck,” Selena forced out, rough as the food on her plate. “Nothing major, just doing my duty.”

“Well, I spoke with Jakob earlier, making sure that he wasn’t stressing out Kamui with his clinginess, and he mentioned that he was grateful for your help. Though, it was scattered with rude language, so I won’t repeat his exact words.”

“Hmph, I wasn’t doing it to help him or anything! It was just… something nice to help me.”

Camilla laughed and Beruka cracked a small smile. “Of course darling, I wouldn’t imply otherwise.”

Selena blushed with embarrassment and slight annoyance as she looked over toward the rest of the royal family. Azura and Kamui were laughing with Elise as Xander and Leo looked on, smiles on their faces as well.

Would those smiles be destroyed by the war? Selena didn’t know, but she hoped that nothing too bad would happen.

She watched as Jakob leaned back, sitting in front of Kamui, as the princess leaned forward, inquiring about something.

Selena found herself wanting to know what they were discussing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hit kind of a rut with the next two chapters in terms of what goes on within them, but I recovered, so I can only hope that the quality doesn't take too much of a hit.  
> I've been observing Jakob and Selena's character models in order to figure out hair length and the like and I'm so disappointed that there's like no art where their hair is down. It would be fairly useful to know. Perhaps I could draw something, but considering my writing skill is leagues above that of my human drawing skill, it might not be an ample use of my time... And school is killing me hahahahha.....  
> Also, if you're wondering who I ship with Kamui........ well, wonder no longer.......  
> Happy reading~


	8. Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me so long to write because it was fairly difficult.

Selena sighed, letting her sword arm rest as she let her weapon lay on the deck of the ship, tip pointing to the wood. Jakob panted next to her; the mages had taken them lots of energy to expel properly. Selena didn’t know how all of them had gotten onto the ship, but she figured it wouldn’t be the last time they would be infiltrated, not when Nohr was hated by a lot of people. It was exhausting, and all Selena wanted to do was get a full, good night of rest.

At least she had been able to sleep for some hours after the storm and then again after the second smaller storm.

Jakob was looking worse for wear, but at least he had been able to fight on the boat, which was what Selena had been worried about ever since the alarm had been rung and Kamui was shouting at people to gear up quickly. He straightened his vest, stumbling a few feet. “Well, we should check up on everyone else… Hopefully their leader has been found and dealt with…” They hadn’t been able to find anyone on their end of the ship.

Selena nodded in affirmation, sheathing her sword before following the butler to the hub of the commotion on the ship, surely where the princess would be.

Having to smoke out a ninja from within their own soldiers was annoying at the least and worrisome at the most. If ninja had managed to get onto the ship, then what else had happened beneath their noses? Selena shuddered at the thought. They could have easily assassinated any one of the members of the royal family but hadn’t. She wondered why they hadn’t leapt at the opportunity.

Selena stopped, prompting Jakob to pause as well. He turned to face her, holding onto his arm with a weak hand. “Selena?”

“Think about it, Jakob. If there were infiltrators on our ship, which there have been for a while, then… Why didn’t they off us one by one? That would be the best plan of attack to nip our journey in the bud. Garon said that we would catch Hoshido by surprise by sea, but clearly that didn’t work.”

Jakob contemplated her words, confused by the prospect as she was. “Then, the only available answer is that they are not Hoshidan and they are not looking for a true fight. It is likely that one of our own discovered a thief, prompting them to organize. Why they would want to stow away on our ship, then, is the real question, and what is their real goal? We must convey this to Lady Kamui…”

“What if they’re Nohrian pirates?” Selena didn’t know anything about the current battle other than that people were in danger. There wasn’t enough time for Kamui to convey important information to SElena, just that she needed to gear up and meet Jakob fast, making sure that Beruka was also ready.

“Well, at any rate, there is something confusing going on and we must smoke out the truth,” Jakob finished, continuing to hurry toward Kamui, Selena following at the same pace.

Kamui was surrounded by her siblings, Kaze, and Silas, but Jakob brushed past the pair to share the newfound information with Kamui, ignoring the leader of the ninjas in the middle of the circle, cornered up against the wall. Kamui nodded her head, looked at Selena briefly (Jakob did as well, Selena wasn’t sure why) and turned back to the captive. “So, why have you boarded this ship? Money is certainly a good motivator, but you had the chance to get much more by ransom. What is your ploy?”

“I’m just tryin’ to scrape by, I didn’t realize that this was the ship of royalty. Not until we set off.”

Jakob crossed his arms and Leo and Xander huffed, not believing the bandit’s words. “Your words hold no real merit, but perhaps we can work something out if you’re willing to talk. Perhaps… A swift death as opposed to a painful one?” Leo looked at Kamui. “What would you say to that, Kamui?”

Kamui shrugged, clearly putting on another act for the bandit. “Who knows? We may not even need the information if we get rid of the issue at the source. Clearly he’s not working with anyone major since all of us are still in one piece. Pity. I don’t like to have information withheld from me,” Kamui sneered while pointing her sword at the ninja’s neck, electing a fearfull expression from him.

Selena felt her heart start to race. The war certainly had changed Kamui if she was able to show this force cleanly, even if it was just acting.

“I’m… I’ll tell ya! Just remove that sword so I can talk to ya!” The bandit straightened up and released a breath. “I was just tryin’ to get to Hoshido and make my way to Kohga. Money’s helpful, so I decided I’d snag a bit of that too. I just didn’t expect my posse to get all uppity and blow that plan out of the water.”

“Yes, you’ve certainly been washed out and hung to dry,” Leo commented dryly.

The bandit sneered at the younger prince, but Leo held his ground. “Surely one as smart as you knows about what happened to Kohga.”

“Yes, that is old news.”

“Well, I’m tryin’ ta avenge my country, whatever it takes.”

“You are a Kohgan native?” Xander asked lightly, incredulousness in his voice. “That would explain your stealth, but not why you are currently in Nohr.”

“That’s irrelevant, just that I’m trying to get back to Hoshido,” the bandit finished. “If I really was after this ship, you would all be dead. You said as much yourselves.”

Jakob and Selena locked gazes. He was right of course, but he was still a security issue. What would they do with him?

“Well, there’s only one answer to this,” Leo sighed, unsheathing his own sword. The bandit shrunk back.

Azura ran up, pendant swinging. “Everyone is accounted for now and the survivors have been locked below deck.”

“Thanks Azura, but I suppose we have no need for prisoners on here…” Kamui sighed.

“Azura…?” The bandit gaped, voice light. “You… You’re Azura?”

The songstress turned, confusion written in her eyes. “You know of me?”

“Yes… Unfortunately… I was the one who led the Hoshidan tactician to steal you away from the king.”

“This is not helping your case, bandit.”

“I know!” He snapped at Xander and Elise shrunk back. “If I am to die, I may as well die telling the truth.”

“The tactician…” Azura paused, her face growing pale. Selena tilted her head. “You mean Yukimura…? The one who… who was like a father to us…?”

“Yea, that’s the guy. Would never forget that name, as long as I hear it.” The bandit paused. “If I may be so bold-“

“Don’t,” Leo sighed. Kamui waved her hand at Leo to let the ninja talk.

“All I want is to restore Kohga to its previous glory, or at least get it out of traitorous hands. If I can manage that, then I’ll lay down my service to you if you spare me.” He paused. “I may not look it, but I feel a lot of guilt for forcing Lady Azura to be taken from her family. I would do anything to repay my misdeed.”

“Anything, huh?” Xander prompted.

Kamui sighed, but lowered her sword. “I do not want to shed undue blood, and another member of our army would not be unwanted, but you have not shown yourself to be trustworthy, despite not taking aim at my family. What have you to prove your loyalty?”

The bandit paused, considering his words. “I have but my name and my promise and my dream. As you have said, I’m just a bandit.”

“And ‘bandit’s’ name would be…?” Jakob prompted, almost as Selena was about to do the same herself.

“I am Shura. Do what you want with that.”

Kamui pursed her lips, clearly unsettled and upset by the situation. “As much as I want to spare you, I have no reason to believe that you are being truthful. I’ll let you try once again to sway me.”

Shura sighed, shaking his head. “I have nothing save the gold I have laundered, but if you kill me that is yours anyway.” He turned to face Azura, standing up straight. “I apologize for the pain I have brought to you.”

“No…” Azura sighed. “I was… I was better off in Hoshido. I hold no ill will toward your actions.” She smiled bitterly. “What happened has happened.”

Kamui sighed and sheathed her sword. “If Azura places forgiveness, then I have no reason not to.” Jakob turned to his lady, an argument already on his lips, but she shushed him with a shake of her head. “I will not repeat another atrocity. I wish to keep my sanity for just a bit longer.” She shared a look with Azura. “As long as I can…”

Jakob sighed, bowing. “As you wish, Lady Kamui.”

Leo and Xander shrugged.

“Your brothers and I will take this… Shura… to our personal room and keep an eye on him,” Camilla said, roping Shura’s hands together. “Perhaps Kaze would be a good candidate? He’s a Hoshidan ninja.”

Kamui nodded her head and waved her hand in dismissal, letting Camilla and Xander shove the bandit farther down the ship, and the princess shared one last look with the bandit. Leo tagged back for a few minutes to share some words with Kamui and Selena watched with mirth as Jakob bristled at their proximity, though it wasn’t as venom filled as the few other times.

Was he getting soft on the prince? Selena held back a chuckle despite being in a strenuous situation. She should laugh anyway. It wasn’t like sighing was going to help her mentality. She walked over to Jakob after the princesses and prince finished their conversation and split ways. Jakob crossed his arms and shook his head. “There is no reason to trust him…”

“Well,” Selena sighed, holding back a laugh, “Kamui will be Kamui. In the meantime, how about we get patched up? I don’t want to stand here with a split arm longer than I have to and your legs aren’t doing you any favors.”

Jakob sighed, but broke out his heal staff and proceeded to mend Selena’s injuries, grumbling about Leo and Shura all the while.

“Jealous much?”

“Worry does not equate to jealousy.”

“Yea sure, but you’re awfully prickly around Kamui when she’s around other people,” Selena concluded, leaning back to test her full weight on her foot. “I know it’s how you are, and since Kamui told me what happened with you and your parents, I can’t completely blame you, but at the same time you need to break out of that mentality.”

Jakob stiffened and leaned back. “What did she say about me?” His voice was cold, but it was filled with more fear and apprehension than Selena would have expected. She didn’t mean to bring up this subject, but Selena supposed that ignoring it any more would be beating around the bush.

“Well, stuff about… your parents and, uh, how she was your first friend?” Selena paused, quailing under the butler’s stern gaze. “Nothing much… I guess… I was just extrapolating?”

“Hm. Considering you offered a perspective of your own past, I suppose it is a fair trade…”

“Jeez, Jakob, sharing pasts isn’t a trade off! It’s supposed to be… Uh, bond building. Fate forming. Or something.” She sounded kind of like Robin right now. “Come on, we’re friends right? Or pals? Buddies?”

“No.”

“Ok, fine, I see how it is,” Selena sighed, not feeling too disappointed. “But I still think you’re too clingy to Kamui and that’s only going to get you hurt later.”

Jakob sighed as well, though in a more annoyed manner. “I will take that into consideration, but how I run my life is my own choice.”

“Yea, yea, ok, whatever.”

“… What… What _does_ love feel like…? The portrayal in romance novels is always a fact to disregard, and Lady Kamui and Lady Elise always chastised me when I asked them what it was meant to be like. Having a broken comparison to pull from does not do wonders…” Jakob shook his head, blushing from embarrassment. “Never mind. Ignore I said anything if you know what’s good for you.”

“You don’t have to feel embarrassed for asking something like that, it’s a valid question,” Selena pointed out smoothly. “However, I can’t lose this chance to tease you, so forgetting it is out of the question. In answer to that, however, I wouldn’t know. Not well anyway…”

Jakob turned to look at Selena face on and Selena blushed, looking away. “It was just a small crush, from where I came from… But they were in love with another person… I couldn’t break that apart, not after seeing how happy they were…” She sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll ever find a happiness like that, but I suppose if one were to fall in love, they’d know what it is even without a solid identification.” She shook her head, shrugging. “I suppose that’s as good of an answer as I can give.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting something that wasn’t a dictionary definition from the great and fearless Selena, but I suppose I’ll take what I can get, huh?” Jakob teased the red-head, walking away to get proper treatment from Elise, mouthing off to Gunter as he passed the older soldier by, and Selena felt her cheeks get hot.

“Jeez! Are you mocking me again?” She roughly turned away as Gunter looked over at her, hearing her empty statement.

. . .

After landing at shore and splitting away from the other Nohrian group, Kamui decided to take a few days to prepare for a long journey in the astral realm. She, Leo, and Camilla had been making calculations on time spent in the realm verses time spent on the surface and had come to the conclusion that about an hour of surface time equated to roughly eight hours in the realm. They could definitely capitalize on that, since that equated to roughly a week per surface day. So, wanting to spend time wisely, Kamui paired Jakob and Selena up again to work on sword drills, but this time both Gunter and Laslow were supervising.

Selena didn’t know why Kamui didn’t just have Laslow go point, but it might be hard for Jakob to adjust fully to his style after training with Selena for a week. Laslow did have more Feroxi techniques in his blade than Selena did, but she didn’t know how much that would even matter. Kamui wouldn’t know the full difference anyway. She parried a blow and Jakob lost his balance.

“If you don’t hold your footing, then you are as good as dead,” Gunter barked from the side, arms crossed.

Jakob straightened up sharply and sent a look of annoyance to the older retainer. “Do you think I don’t know that?”

Laslow took a step away from Gunter and Selena sighed, rubbing her temple in a show of annoyance. “This isn’t going anywhere. You’re probably too tired to get any farther for today, not unless you stop talking every time you get something wrong. It’s not easy to become a master at the sword, obviously, but I can understand why you get upset if you see me fighting so flawlessly.”

“Oh I don’t get upset at my lack of talent, I get upset that your sword skills do not transfer over to teaching.”

“Hey hey, everyone’s tired, so how about we give it a rest?” Laslow offered, stepping forward and taking both Selena and Jakob’s training swords, much to the butler’s annoyance. Gunter sighed and walked away, probably to give a report to Kamui, and Jakob huffed and crossed his arms. “It really isn’t easy to master the sword, Jakob, so you don’t need to be so hard on yourself.” Laslow smiled in a comforting fashion. “I know you want to protect Kamui, but forcing yourself isn’t going to help her.” Laslow laughed before continuing. “I certainly can’t force myself to train with a lance to better help Lord Xander, and there’s no way I could stop myself from complimenting each lady that crosses my path.”

“That’s not a positive use of skill,” Selena and Jakob both deadpanned and Laslow sighed, wiping away an invisible tear.

“Oh Jakob, I could teach you the ways of suave if only you weren’t so harsh to every lady you crossed paths with. You’re quite charming.”

“Are we thinking of the same person, Laslow?” Selena wondered aloud. “Or rather, you need to stop thinking about things in terms of romance. What would Lord Xander think?”

Laslow shuddered and turned away, placing the swords back in the racks. “It’s no bother, I can train even the most anti-social of people to be charming. Everyone here has the looks, save maybe Benny, but he’s soft enough to where that won’t matter.”

“Benny? Ok…” Selena rolled her eyes, sighing all the while. “You keep on day dreaming and I’ll go get something that will actually help me in the long run.” It had been a while since she had eaten anyway. Jakob shot one last look toward Laslow before following Selena, probably as equally hungry.

“Yay, Selena, I was hoping you’d come by!” Peri waved as she watched Selena enter the mess hall. “I made something special just for you!”

“Please tell me it’s normal food…” Selena sighed, apprehensive.

“Haha, of course it is, silly!” Peri passed her a plate of meat wrapped with cabbage leaves. “What else would it be? Anyway, Niles and Odin got that meat, so you should thank them lots too.” Peri passed a plate to Jakob as well and he walked away to discuss plans with Silas.

Selena nodded, wondering when Odin and Niles had even hunted, and went to sit with Charlotte, no one else entertaining enough to consider. The newly promoted berserker, courtesy of a few master seals from an astral realm they had shopped at, picked at her meal and shot a look over to Jakob. “You wouldn’t believe what he told me the other day.”

“Oh yea?” Selena drawled while cutting apart her steak. “I bet I would.”

“He called me crude and fake. How cruel! Especially to someone as sweet as me. Is he that mean to everyone else, or am I just special? He’s not nearly so harsh to you and Lady Kamui, though Lady Kamui would be more obvious. She’s just so sweet, caring, and smart, it makes me tear up at how she has to go through all of this…” Charlotte wiped away a crocodile tear.

Selena sighed and shrugged. “I dunno. You should see how he yelled at Felicia the other day though. You’re not alone in that regard.”

“Poor girl. I hope he doesn’t snap and yell at poor Benny. Or Elise.”

“He’s not stupid enough to yell at Elise.”

“She said he refused a chess game the other day.”

“Well… Perhaps she’s too good for him to beat? She has Prince Leo as a brother anyway…” It almost made Selena want to play against the dark knight.

“Oh, I dunno,” Charlotte admitted. “Ugh, talking about this is getting boring. Let’s find something better to chat about.”

“Well, boring people bring boring topics…” She felt a little bad dragging Jakob and the others like that, but at the same time she was also getting slightly bored.

“Well, we can talk about promotions. You should be getting yours soon, right? Probably before the next fight, if it comes closer than we think.” Charlotte seasoned her soup. “I’m just hoping my additional power can help Prince Xander more, I couldn’t stand it if we lost him! And his money.”

“Huh? Xander’s money isn’t just his money.”

Charlotte paused, clearly debating a few different things to say. “Of course!” She touched her cheek with a giggle, eyes closed. “I don’t know what became of me.”

“Well, how is the transformation? How does it even work?”

“Well,” Charlotte cut apart more of her steak, “Lady Kamui explained that there was some kind of innate power in each person, but a seal is needed to break it. Most people can’t take advantage of it which is why it’s easier for us to purchase than you’d think. However, it needs serious planning, apparently. That’s about the extent that I know.”

“Sounds…” Familiar. Robin had forced Selena to go through a few different promotions, but none of them were especially note-worthy except swordmaster. “Interesting.”

“Yea, isn’t it? But even with this new power, I’m afraid all I can do is hope to support Prince Xander… I hope nothing bad happens.”

“With you around, he won’t have to worry too much,” Selena commented, taking another bite of her meal.

Charlotte blushed, genuinely this time, and smiled. “Aw, that’s too sweet.”

Later in the day, Selena retired to her tree, thinking about how much longer it would be before she could cultivate her small crops, and was surprised to see Flora making her way over to her, face as delicately controlled as always. “Hello Selena, mind if we had a conversation?”

“No, not really,” Selena replied, scooting over to allow Flora to sit next to her. The sunset’s light reflected off of the pools waves, scattering orange into Selena’s eyes, but she didn’t look away. “What do you want to talk about? If it’s something about Laslow, I can take care of him for you.”

Flora shook her head, quiet as always. “No, it’s not him. I haven’t talked with him a lot. It’s about Felicia and Jakob, to a lesser extent.” She sighed, brushing aside her bangs with a trained hand.

“Ok, what’s wrong?” Selena adjusted her position to face the maid easier. “Does she need help with anything?”

“Well…” Flora paused and looked to the side, clearly unsure how to carry on her thoughts. “She shared that she was thankful that you and Kaze stood up for her. Kamui doesn’t… She doesn’t chastise Jakob like you do. I think she’s… too kind in that respect.”

“W-well, it was just me finding a bone to pick with Jakob, nothing really major…” Selena blushed and rubbed the back of her neck.

“I do like that you stand up for her, especially to someone you seem to work well with,” Flora admitted. “I don’t see him interacting with others very well, so it’s refreshing to see him get handed his own medicine time and again.”

“Haha, that’s nothing! Just casual talk,” Selena laughed. “Gotta knock him down a peg every once in a while, especially when he doesn’t listen to me, the expert.”

“Expert?” Flora paused. “Oh right, the sword training.” She sighed and shook her head in thought. “Even though I was brought here by Prince Xander, I still feel like I’m falling behind…”

“Why do you say that?”

Flora paused and bit her lip. “Jakob and Felicia feel… so far ahead. And Kamui was already far ahead, but now it feels like she’s in another world.”

“Well, it’s not your fault or anything. She’s the leader of this vanguard, so it’s natural she’d have to adjust.”

“I wonder if Azura was also a cause of that…”

Selena let the conversation drift into a terse silence before prompting Flora again. “Is there anything else you need to talk about?”

Flora stood up and brushed off her skirt. “I’m glad that Jakob’s a little bit happier. When he was in the fortress, I always worried that he’d fall behind. I think he was jealous that I had improved at service faster than he had, but he never… ‘played well’ with others. I suppose that was his charm in his own way, but I’m glad that he can open up to others.” She smiled. “He’s interacting with people in this army like a true person, at least from what I can see.”

“Are you looking through rose lenses?” Selena deadpanned, face blank.

“No. I’m not.” Flora winked. “Perhaps you can see for yourself if you look close enough. He’s talking well with Silas, seems to be loosening up on Felicia, and is interacting well with the other retainers.”

“Haha well, I guess I just have that effect on people,” Selena boasted, standing up as well. “Anyone else you need to have open up?”

“Maybe Kamui. Maybe myself.” Flora shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, it’s about time for me to check up on Kamui, take a peek at Camilla, and then I’ll be heading off to bed,” Selena sighed. “You should go to bed soon too. Even though we’re here, we need to train more. I’m sure Kamui will want to reclass you as well, even if only for a little bit.”

Flora nodded. “Be well.”

It wasn’t a long walk to Kamui’s tree house from the pond and Selena found herself making good time. The sun was still setting, though shadows were fairly long and she figured there was only about fifteen minutes left of natural light. Leo would no doubt head over to the records hall for studying, Xander would busy about with his sword, and Camilla may make her way over to the accessory shop for some reflecting. Selena didn’t know what Elise would be doing, but it was likely the younger princess would be asleep.

For a second, Selena wondered why she was even doing this and what she would even talk about (it wasn’t like she was here for a reason or anything), but she figured that if Kamui didn’t mind too much, she could talk with Jakob in the morning, reflect on what Flora had said about him.

Why did she even care this much? Was it the maid’s personality? Did Selena really have some kind of effect on people? It seemed strange to think about. She straightened up as she approached Kamui’s door and prepared to knock until she heard voices from within, hurried and strange.

“I’m not sure… I don’t know what to feel any more… I’m no more a hero than Iago is, not with the way things are going… Especially not if I fight against my siblings…”

“No one is a hero in war and no one comes out unscathed. You have to set aside those feelings to avoid losing the war.” That was Prince Leo’s voice. “Kamui, if Nohr loses this war, we lose our way of life. Nohr will collapse. It’s… It’s been building up for a while. We need resources. We need to win this. Not just for father’s appeasement, but… to survive.”

Selena knew that Nohr was desperate of course, and Hoshido had pretty much outright refused to trade with them, but she didn’t know how serious the plight of the lower classes were. If what Leo was saying was true, the war would mean their life or death. She lowered her fist.

“I know that, Leo, but I… I just….” A broken sob. “It hurts so much… I don’t know how much longer I can do this, knowing that I’m at the forefront… I’m ok with being hated by my siblings for this, I know this is the right thing to do, but… Following Garon will be the end of me… It hurts so much and I can’t even… I can’t…”

Leo must have embraced her, as he was murmuring comforting words. “It’s ok, Kamui, we’re here for you… We all are…”

“I’m breaking, Leo, and I can’t even tell you why…”

“Then tell me.”

Selena almost wanted to walk away and avoid ruining a bonding moment of sorts, but she figured that if things got too far, rumors might be spread.

“I can’t, not in full… and it’s not like I could do much if I told you… If Nohr is as bad as everyone has told me it is, I must fight on, for the good of our people. I owe them that much… And if I’m where I am, then I can avoid breaking Hoshido…”

Kamui seemed to be gaining more strength, so Selena knocked on the door, wanting to avoid any more eavesdropping. The pair shuffled about, evident by the creaking of the floorboards. “Kamui? It’s me, Selena, I just wanted to have a bit of a chat, but if you don’t want to, it’s fine I guess.”

Kamui sniffled a few more times. “N-no, it’s fine, you can come in. I’m ok…”

Selena inhaled and shoved the door open with a steady hand, noticing that Leo was standing a few paces away by the bookshelf, back facing her.

“What can I help you with, Selena?” She noticed that Kamui’s eyes were red and tear-stained and she felt a pang of guilt for intruding.

“Just small talk, nerve calming…” She looked between the two royals. “How well do you know your retainers, Lady Kamui?”

Kamui startled and shared a confused look with Leo before turning back to the questioner. “I would like to think I know everyone in this army equally well, though I’ve known them the longest of course…”

“Yes, but how well do you know your retainers? Flora just confronted me with some thoughts, so I was wondering if you were aware of it.”

“Is it about Felicia, because if so, I can have another conversation with Jakob…” Kamui sighed and Selena was satisfied that she was aware of at least that.

“No, not entirely. Mostly just about… Personality development, I guess?”

“Oh that. I’ve noticed too. He has been opening up more, but he’s still touchy with Gunter and a few others. Kaze’s mentioned that they’ve had some in depth conversations about politics, however, so that was nice to hear.”

“Kaze would have that effect on anyone,” Leo commented, and Selena nodded.

“Sometimes it does feel overwhelming to have to interact with everyone in this army and get to know them, but it is an endeavor that has produced fruit,” Kamui admitted with a smile. “Others have also reaped the benefits. Azura is more open than before, Felicia has more confidence, Mozu is willing to talk with others, and Beruka has become friendlier.”

“I guess that’s right…”

“You don’t need to worry about anything, Selena. Everything is ok.”

“W-well, I was just curious!” Selena blushed and crossed her arms.

“I’m glad that you come to me for things, but if you’re worried about something, don’t hesitate, ok?” The princess smiled. “I’m up for talking about anything with anyone, even if it’s something weird!”

“Well, I don’t want to cause a misunderstanding or anything…” Selena admitted.

“Well, we misunderstand to grow. You can’t get up if you don’t fall down.”

Selena paused before cracking a small smile, looking away slightly to the side. “Yea, I guess huh? That’s… neat…”

She had picked herself up a lot already. Perhaps falling wasn’t a bad thing after all. It was the only way to climb after all.

“Certainly, the war will certainly try us, but if we persevere, then that will be the greatest gift…”

Leo nodded and agreed with Kamui’s words.

“I suppose I didn’t come here at the best time and it’s late, so I’ll be going now,” Selena uttered while standing up, sliding the chair back toward the table.

“It’s no bother really,” Kamui assured the red-head with a wave. “But if you’re tired, then going to bed would be the best option. We have a long day of preparations tomorrow and Lilith will be transporting a group to the surface to do scouting of the area. You won’t be on that team, but it’s best that you know of our plans. Shura will be traveling with the team, though, so you can arrest your worries about him if you have any.”

Selena nodded while making her way over to the door and she placed her hand on the handle. “I suppose I have no business saying this, considering how I am, but… If you two are happy, then you should bank on that.”

“S-Selena?”

Selena shook her head. “Yea, never mind, I have no right to say that…” Especially when she would never follow through with those words herself. “But don’t worry about the future.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Selena smiled at the prince, knowledge shining in her eyes. “I’m sure you’ll know when you need to.” She opened the door and exited the treehouse.

Next she should check up on Camilla. The princess had often lamented about not having a bath house in the realms if only to spend more quality time with her family, but Selena wondered how they would even be able to find the time for that. Since the discovery of time alignment, she figured that it wouldn’t be an impossibility now. How they would build one was another issue, but one Selena would leave to someone else.

She nearly walked into Camilla as the princess exited the shop, closing the door behind her with a click. “Oh Selena. I didn’t see you there. Is there anything that you need?”

“N-no, I was just going to check up on you. Y’know, nothing important or anything, only because I’m your retainer or whatever.” Selena took a half step back as Camilla patted her cheek with affection, giggling all the while.

“Of course. Have you done everything you need to do, Selena? I’d hate for you to have to do more chores than necessary tomorrow. I’ll be going about mid-day and I don’t want to leave too much for you to stew over.”

“Yea, everything’s prepared. I’ll just be doing more things tomorrow like training with Jakob, maybe a bit with Mozu depending, and I’ll have to keep Laslow in line,” Selena listed off with a trained tone.

“That’s good, I wouldn’t like it if you overworked yourself,” Camilla said while smiling. “You tend to push yourself when you feel like you’re not good enough, so I’m glad you’re slowing down a bit.”

“N-no!” Selena blushed while crossing her arms. “I’m good at things without trying, obviously. And tomorrow I won’t have to try at all! Of course…”

“Well, go easy on Jakob, why don’t you?”

“Camilla…” Selena sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Oh, you went to see Kamui earlier right? What happened? Anything important?”

Selena shook her head. “Just about tomorrow’s plans. Why do you ask?”

Camilla shrugged, smiling deeply, though Selena could see that she was concealing a bit of sadness. “Just wondering what my precious little sister was doing with her little brother.”

“Oh Camilla! Those words!” Selena clapped her hands over her ears as Camilla slapped Selena on the shoulders, laughing.

“Ugh, I hope I don’t get nightmares…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not completely happy with it, but at first Flora and Selena were talking about how Jakob probably liked Kamui. That was an original subplot, but it ended up not adding anything useful to the story and was generally awkward and out of character for everyone to talk about, so I cut it. After I did that, the chapter felt a lot more natural to me.  
> Happy reading~


	9. Leaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is decent, I guess. It came out about the way I wanted it to.  
> I like next chapter though. It's interesting.

“Oh, Selena, those are some really pretty plants!” Felicia whispered as she kneeled next to the mercenary. “What are they?”

Selena scooted the pots away from Felicia, worried for a second that she would trip and crush them. She leaned back from the pond, plants having been watered. “Oh, just some small crops for me, nothing major. Things that are small.”

“Like?”

“Oh… Uh…..” She paused. “This one… this one is a… Broccoli. Yea.” She paused. “I think so.”

“Oh. Well, I hope it turns out good!” Felicia paused before turning around. “By the way, Laslow and Odin said that they were looking for you.”

“And you didn’t tell me!?”

After rushing over to where Selena supposed her friends would be, Selena discovered torn pages, various journals scattered across the room, and two idiots posing.

“What. In. Naga’s. Name. Are you doing wasting all of this paper?” Selena crossed her arms as she looked at the pair of miscreants.

“Oh, Se-Selena, we were just crafting magical oaths of honor meant to weave even the darkest of spells into a safety net for our Lords’s safety!”

“Yea, what he said…”

“Hi Selena!”

“Hi sassy.”

Selena sighed as she noticed Peri and Niles sitting on chairs near the corners of the room. “Morning…”

“Well, now that everyone is bound to be heading out, we should be taking our leave,” Niles groaned while standing up, shaking out his legs. “Come on Odin, milord will be looking for us. We don’t want to miss the teary farewell party, do we?”

Selena scoffed while Niles and the mage brushed aside her, flanked by the cavalier who giggled as she passed Selena.

Laslow sat down on one of the chairs after picking up the various journals and pieces of paper. “Odin and I were talking last night.” Selena sat down next to him, question written in her eyes. “It was about… About what we’re going to do when we go back…”

Selena shrugged, leaning back as she crossed her arms behind her head. “I already told Odin that I was going to go back. He said he didn’t know about himself.”

Laslow clasped his hands together and leaned forward, a dour expression working its way onto his face. “I don’t… I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know that I can’t serve Xander forever, but… The friends that I’ve made here, the experiences that I’ve gone through.” Laslow shook his head as he let the thoughts wash over him. “It will be hard. Harder the farther we go on.”

“Well, that’s why we can’t get particularly close to anyone,” Selena muttered, crossing her legs. “I’m going to go back no matter what. I know that Lady Camilla will be sad, Beruka will probably feel slightly weird. Even then, I have to go back. I’ll miss them too, of course, but not too much to bring me down.”

“Well, what about Ladies Kamui and Azura?” Laslow inquired.

“I’ll miss them too of course, but they’re kinda like Robin, so I won’t feel too bad.”

“What about Felicia and Flora? Effie? Peri?”

“Well, they’re useful allies of course and I’ll miss antics with Felicia, I guess, but once I get back I won’t have to worry about tripping over her. Flora seems nice, but even if someone is nice, I have to leave. It’s just how it is. I’ll want to go home eventually.”

Laslow leaned his chin on his hands, looking up at Selena with clear eyes. “What about Jakob?”

Selena felt her shoulders tense up and her hands became stiff. “W-what about him…?”

“Other than Kamui, Camilla, and Beruka, you interact with him the most. Him even more than Camilla lately.” Laslow leaned up properly, watching as Selena turned away from him. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it, Selena, it’s normal to be with others… I’m just wondering how you expect to leave with no hard feelings when you are actually making friends with others.”

“Well, maybe I’ll be a little upset when I have to go… But not just because of him! Charlotte is fun to laugh with, Kaze is nice, and Kamui’s smart.”

Laslow sighed and shook his head. “You did this in the past too you know.”

Selena turned toward him again, confusion in her pose. “Did what?”

Laslow looked at her through the sides of his eyes, a nonchalant expression on his face. “Pushed others away. You did it with your parents, with Owain, Gerome and Laurent… Even Lucina to an extent.”

Severa prickled at the mention of the princess’s name. “Well, we didn’t belong. I didn’t want to intrude on anyone… Not because I’m nice or anything, but just because it would be a bother!” She pursed her lips, blushing.

“Haha, you were ruder then too. I’m glad that we all managed to grow up properly after the war… After Grima…” Inigo sighed and shook his head as the memories overtook the pair. “We… We really were broken kids, weren’t we?”

“Oh, how could I forget it, I keep my eyes off you for one second and you’re flirting with another girl,” Selena teased, leaning closer to Laslow and he laughed, shoving her away. “In a way, things haven’t changed much.”

“Just gotta save the world from another dragon, nothing new, nothing new,” Laslow joked before standing up. “Well, I suppose we shouldn’t keep the other retainers waiting. More sword training.”

Selena sighed and stood up. “Maybe we could have Gunter teach us some axe techniques for when we promote. That would be a better use of our time then rapid training.”

“Well, she said she’d make you a bow knight, so I dunno.”

“Well, we should talk to her again then…”

. . .

Selena sighed as she picked through her lunch, tired from the bout of training. She could see why Jakob was bitter about having Gunter as one of his trainers, the older soldier was rather tough. He reminded her of Frederick. Jakob and Gunter were quite like Frederick, obsessed with serving Kamui and veteran soldier. It was almost scary, but it wasn’t unfamiliar.

Peri was in the back with Charlotte and the retainer could hear the pair of them arguing about how to properly prepare a cake. Selena turned away to avoid hearing listening to them.

Kamui and her team had left at about ten, so they would be back around sunset. It was about noontime, so that made it about six more hours.

“Certainly, training is important, but I believe that getting this war over and done with trumps all…” Jakob muttered while sliding into the seat next to the mercenary.

“You’re just salty that you can’t get any of the techniques perfected,” Selena commented while shoving a piece of meat into her mouth avoid a rebuttal and continuation of an argument, however fun it may be.

“Not as salty as this meat is.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Though I do have to agree that my way is better,” Selena admitted with a laugh. “Perhaps I could show you after the tornado is done passing through,” she nodded her head toward the kitchen. “Course, I don’t want you criticizing it or anything.”

Jakob cracked a smile, looking at Selena with challenge in his eyes. “That will be impossible. You know that.”

“Ha. I’m sure I can blow even you away with my skills.” She watched as Charlotte and Peri exited the kitchen carrying a cake each before slamming them on the table in front of Xander, who had been told to remain in the astral realm in case of emergency. The prince seemed to take the situation awkwardly, though Laslow hadn’t. The blonde then slapped Laslow for something. Peri laughed.

Selena shuddered and turned back to her meal. “What an idiot…”

“Perhaps he is unable to learn as a result of brain injury? How often is he hit, I wonder?”

“Oh, enough to take effect,” Selena laughed. “It’s surprisingly satisfying, especially when he hits on you awkwardly.”

“I am glad to say I have never been on the receiving end…”

Selena chewed for a few seconds. “Yea, but he might drag you away eventually just to make himself look good. He and Odin went out a few nights ago, I think, and when we were in Nestra he managed to rope Kaze of all people into his gallivanting.”

“How terrifying… If I were to spout such empty words, I would at least like to say it to someone who mattered. Like Lady Kamui.”

“You are not helping your case.”

“There is no case to help.”

Selena and Jakob moved into the kitchen, noticing that despite the argument between the two army members it was clean and organized properly. “I suppose that Charlotte likes having things organized and in control,” Selena reflected while looking over the knives to make sure Peri hadn’t done anything strange with them. “Well, I guess it’s time to find the ingredients…”

“The meat is over there, and the spices are kept away in that box over there,” Jakob explained while pointing to each direction. Selena nodded her head in thanks and began busying around, watching as Jakob too made his own separate meal.

“This combination of spices was shown to me by my father,” Selena said while dumping a mixture of pepper, salt, and lemon, among a few other herbs, on the steak. “It tastes rather regional, I can’t deny, but it’s pretty good.”

“It doesn’t smell bad, I must admit.”

Selena peeled a few cabbage leaves from the main plant, making sure that they were fresh enough for consumption, and set them aside as she grilled the meat to eat. After they seemed almost done, she covered the meal with the cabbage slices, making sure not to burn anything as the cooking finished up. She grabbed the steak and set them aside on a plate, making sure that each person got their share. “There. Admire me and my work all you want. I can take it.”

“Haha,” Jakob sighed as he picked over the meal with his fork. “It appears to be edible at least, but taste is sometimes appearance deep,” he added with a jest, looking up.

“Well,” Selena laughed as she crossed her arms, “I tend to break that trend.”

“I see.” The pair began eating their second meal at an available table, rather tired from preparations, but enjoying each other’s company none-the-less.

“How long do you think this is going to go on?” Selena mused.

“What do you mean by that?”

Selena gestured with her hand vaguely. “The war. Carrying on. If we keep on following Garon like this, something like Cheve is going to happen again. I just know it will.” She sighed before cutting up the steak, a small enough portion to allow her to actually eat all of it in one sitting. “Kamui can’t continue on following his orders forever. Neither can we, for that matter.”

Jakob stilled and looked to the side, thinking his own thoughts. “Perhaps something like that will happen again. But we must try to prevent it, for all of our sakes… Certainly,” he sighed in resignation, “I don’t care about the individual lives of the people in Hoshido, but such a massacre…. Should be avoided at all costs…”

“Hans…” Jakob and Selena both sighed at the mention of the name, knowing full well that, if he was involved, there would be no peace. “Well, perhaps we move on as if we’re less than human, but it’s not like a soldier can have emotion. Not in war…” Selena thought briefly of her small army back in the bad future. They hadn’t needed to kill many human people, save for the crazed Grimleal. It had been a hard transition to go to the past and have to kill people themselves instead of watch from the sides, unable to do anything. Owain and Brady had a particularly hard time, but Lucina, herself, Gerome, Laurent, Kjelle… They all transferred easily. Selena wondered for a second if that was the reason why she was able to pass off things easily here, or if she just wanted to ignore it.

“Yes, I suppose your point has merit, Selena…” Jakob shook his head and continued on with the meal. “If Hans is allowed to continue more, however, we’ll have to address that issue head on… I doubt any of us could take it. King Garon is…” He closed his eyes, lightly shaking his head. “Excuse me. Such thoughts are not benefitting of my status…”

“Well, same here, but I still talk smack,” Selena muttered, moving a bit of cabbage with her fork. “Sure, it’s just me, but it’s also just him. Though, I guess I probably shouldn’t. Camilla might get mad.”

“Camilla is already slightly mad,” Jakob sighed. “Along with her brothers. I don’t know what happened to get them like that, but it must have been dramatic. Even Elise has been slightly affected, but she’s still… herself…”

“I guess that’s more than we could hope for, huh?” Jakob met Selena’s gaze, questioning. Selena waved her hand. “Being oneself. Despite everything.”

“I only hope that Kamui can hold on, too…”

Selena shrugged. “She has all of us… Perhaps the kind of person we become is who we were meant to be all along. Change… Change is still oneself. Despite everything…”

“Are you becoming the kind of person you want to be, Selena?”

Selena looked to the side, running through her memories. “Well. I don’t dislike how I am now. But I would have liked to enjoy life a little bit more… before a war.”

“How long have you been training? You mentioned once about having to use the sword seriously at a young age, but that isn’t indicative of any one thing…” Jakob mused, leaning forward slightly.

Selena shrugged, turning back again to her meal. “Well, I was part of a war when I was about… thirteen I guess, maybe fourteen, I can’t remember. It’s hard to really call it a war though, it was more like a curbstomp and we were the ant under the boot.” She shuddered, thinking about Grima and how he (it?) had been resurrected in the time they were trying to save. “Compared to that, this is all nothing.”

“You’ve said as much.” Jakob exhaled, shaking his head. “When I first met you, I thought you were just a know-it-all, green retainer who wanted to experience the world. You did a good job at hiding your true personality, though I fear it’s hurt you more in the long run than it did anyone you were interacting with.” He paused. “I don’t think I could have made it through if your world was as hellish as you described.”

“That and more.”

“Were there any happy memories of your previous life? Parents? Friends? …Possibly more?” Jakob leaned forward and clasped his hands to rest on them. “When it comes to you, you’re fairly hard to understand. Perhaps an understanding would help you get along with others?”

“I get along with others,” Selena pouted, a slight smile on her face. “Beruka’s gotten a hobby thanks to me, Arthur is less likely to get struck by lightning, Charlotte is less mean, Felicia is more outgoing, and Kamui is less… sad? I dunno,” she waved in dismissal, “but I think I get along with others fairly well.” She leaned forward, a teasing expression on her face. “If you want to get to know me better, then you can just say it, but this road goes two ways.”

“Hmph. Will you answer my question?”

Selena laughed, bringing her hand up to her mouth to make it seem less obnoxious than normal. “Well, my parents were good parents when they were alive. My father was a nice contrast to my mother, I guess. I was always under her shadow, but he made me feel better about myself sometimes since she didn’t know how to deal with it as much. I was called a mistake by other people, save for her friends, so it always made me cry when I was younger, but he would comfort me. Most of my friends survived the war, so there’s nothing sad in that regard at least. I guess I may have had friends when I was younger, you know the ones, but I don’t remember them very well.”

“… What about a relationship? Despite what people say about war, here it seems to be that people are able to form feelings for one another in a terror zone.”

“Oh,” Selena waved her hand in dismissal, “that happened in the second war I was a part of, haha. It’s nothing unique.”

“For you?”

“No, not me.” Selena sighed and shook her head lightly, closing her eyes. “I wanted to be at one point, but they were already happy, so I couldn’t break that up.”

“Oh, I remember you mentioning that…” Jakob muttered. “Now that you speak of it, I’m remembering our conversation more.”

“Hm? Oh,” Selena gasped, remembering. “Yea, you sure were sick, haha, I never thought even you would be subject to the world’s whims.”

Jakob flushed and turned to the side. “It was just a moment of weakness, nothing more. A storm is nothing to laugh at after all…”

“Well, it was funny to see you so out of it, even begging me to take your mind off the storm.”

“I was feeling terrible… Now I know what Kamui felt like whenever she got a fever…”

“No, I’m pretty sure you felt worse. A fever just makes you out of it, but at least you aren’t throwing up.” Selena leaned on her hand, cheek in her palm. “You sure get stomach sick a lot. Do you have a weak belly?” She leaned her free hand across the table to touch Jakob’s nose in a jest, pushing his face to the side.

“No. I can handle even the sourest of smells from the kitchen. I’m not weak…” He didn’t brush her hand away, but she withdrew it, moving back to her meal.

“Oh really? You haven’t seen Odin in the kitchen yet, have you?” Selena cut her meat and chewed it slowly, watching his expression morph from casual aloofness to muted horror. “Haha, you didn’t eat what he made, did you?”

“No. But Lady Kamui did…”

“Well, she’s a dragon, so she should be fine. Besides, it’s not like she’s sick now, is she?”

“I… I hope you’re… right…”

“You’re devotion to Lady Kamui is as strong as ever,” Selena sighed, shaking her head. “You astonish me even now.”

“Hm.” Jakob squinted his eyes and finished up his steak. “I see no issue.”

“It’s admirable, but strange at the same time. Hopefully it doesn’t weigh too much toward the strange spectrum, huh?”

“Your attachment toward Lady Camilla is just not as strong as it should be…”

“Well,” Selena crossed her arms, “I can’t stay here forever. I’m eventually going to go back to my own homeland after everything is over and I don’t need to worry about Lady Camilla again. That’s just how it is.”

Jakob stiffened and looked to the side again, avoiding her gaze with a purposefulness that Selena wasn’t entirely used to seeing. “Speaking of… ‘that’… I overheard your two conversations with Odin and Laslow… Nothing much to make me… suspicious, but… I suppose it would be better if I didn’t keep that secret.”

“Hm. How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know that your friends are questioning, yet you remain obstinate,” Jakob assured her. “Perhaps your tsundere personality makes sense now, but I know you aren’t smart, or bored, enough to craft a personality around faking others. Not like Charlotte.”

Selena pursed her lips, slightly hurt at the insult. “Ok. What else do you want to mention?”

“You leaving is going to hurt others if you go through with it. Perhaps you should think on it a little more.”

Selena shook her head, set in stone. “My choice is made. Perhaps my mission won’t be done after the war, but then I’ll have more motivation to finish it.” She sighed, long and deep. “I’ve made up my mind… I can’t remain here forever. That’s just… how it… is…”

She wasn’t completely sure, but Selena could have sworn that there was a slight touch of hurt in Jakob’s eyes. He shook his head and stood up, grabbing both of their dishes. "There was nothing to complain about, save the cabbage… You’re cooking is…” He paused. “Fair.”

“Ok…”

He disappeared to the kitchen and Selena stood up, heading to her room to stew over the conversation.

. . .

Selena tapped Odin on the shoulder as he leaned into the wall of the medical tent. “Well, you seem to still have your nerves, so that’s good…”

“Well! We vanquished the enemy, and now we can march tomorrow!” Odin gestured dramatically with his hands, making sure to avoid stretching his shoulder muscles too much. “Lady Kamui is debriefing Prince Xander and Gunter.”

Jakob sighed as he wrapped Niles’s forearm and the man purred. He looked ready to smack the smile off of Niles’s face. “As long as we can get this over with, then whatever Kamui decides for us to do is fine…”

Nyx pushed Selena over with a light touch, applying some salve to Odin’s side. “As long as you all don’t bring back more injuries, at least. Flora and I have only so many herbs.”

Selena paused, remembering her pots. “Well, I have some preserved ones if you ever need a backup… Not like I made them for a reason or anything, just for me, but if you must, then I’ll lend them…” Jakob sighed behind her and Selena whipped around to give him a childish glare.

“That would be useful, but only once we get deeper into Hoshido. Flora, Felicia, and I are set for now, but thank you for your offer,” Nyx answered with a steady tone. “Odin, stop moving.”

Niles sighed and stood up, stretching as Jakob stepped back. “Well, it was only us three who were injured, so it’s not like you need to worry about a tender waste of sweetness, mage.”

Beruka frowned from her bed as Felicia touched up her face with salve.

Selena shrugged and crossed her arms. “Well, none of our lieges were injured, so that’s the optimal result. Once we continue on tomorrow, it’ll be even better.”

Charlotte lifted the flap of the large medicinal tent, looking around. “Jakob? Lady Kamui is requesting your presence… Selena, Lady Camilla is also looking for you.”

Selena stood up fully, stretching her back. “Well, it’s about time we met and discussed.”

After Selena had gotten herself to the strategy tent, noticing that the royals weren’t as stressed as normal (undoubtedly a good sign), Camilla waved her over to a corner. Selena watched as Jakob and Kamui discussed another topic near the middle with Leo looking on, Xander making a few adjustments to the map, and Elise updating them on general things.

“How’s Beruka doing, Selena? I feel so bad that she took that blow for me, even though it wasn’t too deadly…” Camilla sighed and rubbed her cheek, not smearing her make-up. “It makes me feel terrible that someone was hurt…”

“It’s our duty to protect you, Lady Camilla,” Selena assured the princess. “Besides, we’d rather take a blow than you. You’re too important to us.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” Camilla cooed as she embraced Selena in a crushing hug, and the mercenary could feel her breath leaving her lungs. “Well, at any rate, the surface is dealt with and our path to Mokushu is cleared.”

“Mokushu? I didn’t know we were passing through another place…” Selena mused, taking another glance toward the map.

“Yes, we need their assistance to get to Hoshido, but they are no Hoshidan ally, so it’s more convenient for us,” Camilla assured her. “On surface time, it will take us a week or so to get there if we don’t run into opposition, which is unlikely, sadly.” She sighed and shook her head, purple hair moving with the motion. “However, now that Lilith has determined that there is a way to get around same-place transportation, we have a silver lining.”

“What?”

“Oh, darling, I guess it’s not common knowledge,” Camilla laughed. “Lilith can only bring someone back to the surface in the same place they came in, which is why the war isn’t completely done right now. But, say you and I were on the surface. You are in the capital of Nohr, but I’m here. We both come to the realm.” Camilla gestured to help Selena’s understanding. “You can come to where I am since I will be returning to the place I have come from on the surface. There is a way to bypass it. That is why we can keep our healers in the astral realm, but not have them left behind where they came in on the surface.”

“Ohh…” Selena nodded her head in understanding. “That makes sense and is super convenient.”

“Yes. Kamui and Xander and Leo have been trying to take as much advantage of that as they can, which is why we scouted earlier. Though, I suppose it was much earlier for you guys.”

“Yea, the whole time difference thing always throws me off…” Selena admitted. “But not too much of course! I’m good with math, so it’s solved quickly.”

Camilla smiled, eyes closed. “Of course.” The pair walked over to Kamui, taking note of the map arrangement for the next fight.

“Leo and I have calculated that it will take us about two weeks in astral realm time to reach Mokushu, which is about six days of normal time, so we’ll be set. Garon will have Iago report to us tomorrow, so all of us should be on the surface,” Kamui planned. “We’ve made fairly good ground, so there will be no reason for them to be suspicious…”

“If only we didn’t have to solve Nohr’s problems with war,” Xander lamented. “Father was always obstinate about his ways, but to drag another country into it is saddening.”

Kamui tilted her head, clearly wanting to say something, but keeping her mouth shut. “Yes… It’s lamentable…”

Leo crossed his arms and sighed. “All in all, Nohr’s success depends on our success, so we can only hope that Mokushu is completely willing to comply. Without their help, we’re sitting ducks.”

“It’ll be ok Leo,” Kamui assured the prince with a tap to his arm. “We’ll… We’ll make it through…”

“Such reassuring words…”

Selena didn’t know if they would be too hurt without Mokushu’s compliance. They weren’t a large country and most of their specialty was in ninja training. Garon had likely coerced them into helping the army anyway, so she didn’t think there would be any problems in that respect. Selena didn’t know how effective that would be in the long run, but as long as nothing happened now…

“Well,” Kamui crossed her arms, “we should inform everyone of the plans. We’ll be setting off… About mid-day tomorrow. That’ll align with the proper morning time at the surface.” Kamui nodded her head in affirmation. “Ok!” She turned to Jakob. “I’d like some tea in my room and if you could invite Shura to come by, that would be nice.”

Jakob visibly wilted at the command and Selena held back a giggle. “I… Y-yes, Lady Kamui… If I remain with you I will be much happier with your safety…”

“Of course. Leo will also be coming too, we have questions we need asking anyway.”

Jakob nodded his head and exited the tent, the flap closing behind him without a sound. Selena stared at the spot for a few more moments before Camilla gestured her to get going, the princess planning on visiting with her precious retainer.

Selena had no clue what to do next. It was getting fairly late, but not late enough for her to go to bed, so she figured that it would be better to tidy up a few chores around the camp. It was a good way to kill time after all.

Around the time she was about to go to bed, she saw Shura and Jakob exit from the treehouse and the butler gestured for the archer to hurry on. It seemed as if Jakob was originally going to tag along with him, if Shura’s hesitancy could be a judge, but he must have needed to do something else. Selena walked over to the adventurer, a few questions burning on her tongue. Shura turned as she approached, apparently not really interested in any conversations.

“You’re from the area, right? Do you know the best way to get to Hoshido? Are you leading us down a trap?”

Shura scoffed and crossed his arms. “No. If I were leading you guys to a trap, I would die, and I’d rather live. That butler questioned me about the same thing. I suppose it’ll take more than knowledge for you guys to earn my trust.”

“Naturally. What did you expect?” Selena sighed and shook her head, not really wanting an answer. “Whatever. What was Kamui talking to you about?”

Shura shrugged, rather rudely, and looked to the side. “Something about loyalties, how she wants to trust me, bits of my past concerning Lady Azura. Nothing you need to know.”

“Since you’re still not completely trustworthy, your knowledge and actions should be open game for anyone to know,” Selena countered. “What did Prince Leo talk to you about?”

“How I wanted to restore Kohga, some political dealings, and strategy. Nothing you need to know.”

Selena sighed and rubbed her temple. She wasn’t going to get anywhere with this and it wasn’t like she could question Lady Kamui directly since that would be rather rude. Prince Leo was likewise off limits. She supposed that Jakob was the last resort, but it was likely that he would be retiring soon and she was also tired. They had a long day tomorrow and needed to be ready for Iago’s questioning. Hopefully Kamui would be able to pull off another façade, though it might hurt.

“Well, seeing as you got nothing more to ask me, I’ll be retiring to my bed,” Shura muttered, brushing past Selena’s shoulder. “I gotta be ready for tomorrow after all.”

Selena sighed, but let him go easily. She stared at the moon for a few seconds before pulling her ribbons and let her hair fall to its normal length. She massaged her head, working the soreness out. “This is going to be stressful…” Sure, she hadn’t been part of the bandit attack, but now they were progressing into the fuller stages of the war. It would be unpredictable from here on out.

She slowly worked some knots out of her hair as she turned to walk to the pond, watching as the moon reflected off of the water. Lilith was in the distance, rinsing herself off on the opposite shore. Selena supposed it was proper since the dragon looked more fish than lizard. She moved her hand through her hair, noticing that it had gotten an inch or so longer and now fell a little past her knees. “I suppose it’s about time for a trim…” She held her hand out and watched the strands fall from her fingers.

She tucked her ribbons in her pockets and turned to make her way toward the barracks, more willing to get sleep than question anyone else further, though as she noticed Jakob making his way past the record hall she figured that she could spend half an hour more getting knowledge from a more reliable and wiling source.

Her shoes clacked over the stone pathway as she made her way toward the butler, formulating just what questions she would ask him. Perhaps Shura revealed something about the enemy that he thought she shouldn’t be privy to, or perhaps Kamui and Leo were toying with the pirate, planning to use him as bait. Selena wouldn’t tell Shura if that was the case, of course, but it would be nice to know. She reached out and tapped the butler’s shoulder as she reached his position. “Jakob, I have some questions about the conversation with Shura.”

He rubbed his forehead as he turned to face her, clearly perturbed about something, looking rather to the side. “Yes? And those would be?” He blinked a few times as his eyes fell on her fully, struck into silence by her appearance. “S-Selena?”

“Yes? I thought I was the one asking the questions here, but ok, you got something?” Selena crossed her arms and set her legs, leaning to one side. “Hurry up, though, I don’t want to spend too much time chatting.”

“Er- it’s nothing,” he sighed as he rubbed his cheeks. It wasn’t too cold, but Selena figured it was chilly enough at this time. “A-about Shura…? Nothing… Nothing much… Mostly territory, Hoshido’s partners…”

Selena sighed and took a step closer, prompting Jakob to step back. “Why are you so nervous? Did something weird happen?”

“N-no, not during… no.” Jakob shook his head and looked to the side. “Nothing you need to know, nothing I need to know…”

“Hehhhhh, did you see something you shouldn’t have?”

“No, I didn’t see anything.”

“Ok then, what about your hearing?” Jakob was silent at Selena’s prompting and she shook her head, hair pushing her clothes slightly. “Well, was it about the plans or something else?”

“I hope that Lady Kamui is not upset with me…” Jakob clasped his hands together and turned to the side to look at the moon. “Perhaps I should keep this under wraps, though I know Azura, Kaze, and Camilla would want privy to the information…”

“’To be privy’ is what you’re looking for and yes they probably will.” Selena crossed her arms again. “Stop beating around the bush and just tell me, maybe I can help.”

Jakob grimaced, though it seemed to be out of embarrassment more than anything. “I shouldn’t…” He sighed and rubbed his head again. “This could be bad, especially if King Garon finds out… Or anyone really…” He steeled himself. “No, I’ll let them tell people in their own time.” He turned to face Selena again, but startled as he noticed a smooth smile on her face. “What is it?”

“Oh, I can figure enough out. I’m a woman after all.”

“I’m well aware.”

Selena laughed before turning away, facing the barracks. “Well, well, this is an interesting development… Young love is always the touchiest though, so I hope they haven’t done anything completely regrettable… You were being vague after all, so it’s hard to grasp the full truth.”

Jakob stuttered for a few minutes before composing himself enough to provide a counterargument. “Of course not! Lady Kamui would never be indecent with someone she isn’t married to. Wasn’t.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. It’s best we both retire to our rooms before night breeds rumors.”

“Yea whatever, I’m not up for much gossip anyway.”

“You were just prying me as to what happened with Kamui,” Jakob deadpanned, arms crossed.

“Well, that’s not _gossip,_ that’s me trying to learn things of course,” Selena laughed, touching her cheek. “There’s a slight, minute, tiny difference.”

“Yea, whatever.”

“Well, if we’re going to be on the topic of exchanging knowledge,” Selena started, “consider a fun topic change. I’ve always wondered why you wear your hair like that. Considering you don’t like weakness and things that are supposedly associated with women,” the words stung her tongue, “why do you keep your hair long with a ribbon?” She shrugged as Jakob shot her a look. “Just curiosity.”

Jakob sighed again and crossed his arms, looking to the side. “My parents always cut my hair since they said it was unbecoming to look otherwise. Kamui also gave me the ribbon. What other reason must there be?”

“Ah, teenage rebellion, I see? Guess it bled into adulthood?”

“Do you dislike it? Not that it particularly matters, but why else would you bring it up?”

Selena paused for a few minutes and she took a step back. “I dunno, I never knew a lot of guys with longer hair. If they did, it was for religious or…” _What would Yarne be considered?_ “Other… purposes. Except for that one noble guy. I dunno what his deal was.”

“Well, consider your curiosity settled. There is no reason for me.”

“Hm.”

“What about you? You have the longest hair in the army. Surely that poses a combat issue.” He did bring up a good point, but Selena hadn’t really had an issue with it before and she shrugged.

“Not really. Maybe I just wanted to be different from my mother.” She exhaled rather loudly. “Though, her hair wasn’t short either, but she was on a pegasus, so it didn’t matter.”

“You seem to care about the small things most of all. It’s rather strange,” Jakob commented.

“Well…” Selena didn’t really know how to answer that. She had learned to shove away the larger things in life rather well, but it wasn’t that she didn’t care about them. “I suppose that’s just how I am.”

“Haha, yes, I’ve come to learn ‘how you are’ over the course of us knowing each other.”

Selena tilted her head slightly. “Huh, it’s been a month or so, hasn’t it? The war hasn’t been that long I guess.”

“Yes, but Lady Kamui and I have been trekking on for a while now. I haven’t been at the castle in months. Perhaps half a year.” He sighed, adjusting his sleeves with muted interest. “After Lilith introduced the astral realm, time has been thrown off, but as long as I am here in the army, time lost doesn’t matter.”

“Yes… I suppose it doesn’t matter as much…” After time traveling, she had no reason to worry about lost time or gained time anyway since all time at this point was stolen.

Jakob looked about to make a comment, but decided otherwise at the last second. “Well, I suggest we both turn in before we lost too much time. Iago will likely observe the entire army, so we must look presentable.”

“Yea, that’s for the best.”

He sent one last look to Selena before retiring to his own room in the treehouse and Selena turned toward the barracks, reflecting for a few seconds on the conversation. There was a strange tightness in her chest. Did the prospect of seeing Iago really scare her that much? It seemed unlikely, but it was the only logical answer.

She sat on her bed and touched the ends of her hair, looking at the strands through the moonlight.

In the end, it didn’t matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, something unrelated to this story (in part). I've been extremely stressed out this week. My school has been threatened a few times, my anxiety is through the roof, and I've had no motivation/inspiration/etc to write much. I've just been out of it. Lucky enough, I'm about 3 chapters ahead at all times, so I have enough buffer to deal with this. However, it might drop to two if the person threatening the school (maybe persons idk) keeps this up. UGH.  
> Though, I recently finished writing a chapter that I've had planned out for a month or so, and it turned out quite nicely. I can't wait for the fic to reach that point, haha!  
> I feel like Selena and Jakob (at my point that I'm at) are pretty dang OOC compared to their game counterparts, but in the context of this fic it makes sense. One of the main complaints about Jakob is that he's a jerk who never gets punished for it. I feel like I've been able to deal with that by making him kinder over time, though his mean streak is still slightly present. For Selena, she's less tsundere, but still has her moments.  
> Yay character development  
> That's all from me!  
> Happy reading~


	10. Watchful Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to hit about 7k words for each chapter, but I haven't quite been able to hit that mark haha.  
> The next chapter (chapter eleven) was really fun to write, I can't wait to put it up~

Selena sheathed her sword, feeling her new hero outfit move with the gesture, after checking to make sure it was in proper condition for the tenth time in five minutes. It was stressful to have Iago converse with Kamui and the other royals in eye’s view but not be able to do anything about it. The guy was a creep and cruel, through and through.

She remembered how he had reacted to the dancer’s death in Nestra and shuddered, memories of Cheve flooding her brain again. Though he wasn’t there, he clearly had something to do with the event. At least Hans wasn’t the one performing the observations, though it was likely that he wasn’t smart enough to carry it out anyway.

She watched as Kamui gestured to Camilla and Xander behind her, Beruka hovering to the side with wounds. Hopefully that would be enough evidence, along with Odin’s arm, that they had routed some bandits. Or Hoshidan soldiers. Selena wasn’t completely sure which one it was.

She watched Jakob pace near the side, outside of Iago’s vision. He didn’t seem to like the sorcerer either, though it was unlikely that anyone liked him save Garon and Hans.

Selena bit her tongue. Thinking thoughts like this would definitely not help her in the long run.

Leo touched Selena’s shoulder, causing her to jump. “Sorry. Iago wants to see all army members. We’re keeping Shura in the quiet, but you need to be up there with Camilla.” Selena made a face and Leo shrugged. “If I had it my way, Iago would be dead, so that’s my thought on the subject.”

“Yes, any sane person would want him dead.” She looked at Leo and he looked to the side.

“Father is Father… Perhaps I don’t completely trust his judgement, but he knows what’s best for Nohr in the long run. He’s kept the nobles in check, after all…”

Selena shook her head combined with a shrug and walked over to where her lady was, standing at attention. Camilla smiled toward her and Beruka glanced over at her partner, a noise of committal coming forth.

Iago crossed his arms and the image wavered slightly. “I see that your retainers are in good health and that you’ve taken strategical advantage with the war chest if the promotions are anything to go by, but what of the other members of the army? If we are to conquer Hoshido without trouble, then everyone must be at top health.”

Kamui nodded and gestured over to the few members that hadn’t pledged allegiance to any one person. Kaze nodded his head, Azura as well, and Mozu, Nyx, Silas, and Keaton showed acknowledgement of the mage.

Iago sighed, but didn’t seem disappointed. “Well, King Garon is awaiting results. I expect you to be at your site of business in six days. Don’t let Nohr down,” he threatened and the connection was cut.

Kamui exhaled, her posture losing the earlier conviction. Leo patted her arm and Camilla embraced her in a hug. “I know it’s tough, darling, but the more it happens the easier it will get.” Her older sister smiled. “Change is happening even now. I’m proud of you.”

“Yes,” Kamui cracked a half smile. “I hope that I can show that same growth with the war. I want to avoid tragedy as much as I can.”

“Perhaps we can avoid the worst of it,” Leo agreed, “but you’ll have to be ready to accept less-than-success. War is hell, after all.”

Didn’t she know it. Chrom had once said something akin to those words, though working under Chrom was amazing compared to Garon and his lackeys. Selena sighed and rolled her shoulders, her slightly sore muscles calling for reprieve. They would march for the rest of the day in order to cover significant ground and then spend the surface night’s worth in the astral realm. This was also how they would slowly make their way to Mokushu to meet up with the leader or whoever. Selena didn’t know the full details of the mission, of course, but Kamui and the other royals had worked out the time to a T, so she knew that there wasn’t anything to worry about.

Selena walked over to check up on Jakob since it seemed as if he was having some sort of mental breakdown with all of his pacing and hushed mumbling. It was likely only about the road ahead, perhaps how they couldn’t completely trust Mokushu, but it was strange to see him in such a state, especially since he wasn’t wearing an angry expression, but one of worry. Making sure to step in front of his line of vision, she clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward slightly, looking into his eyes until he noticed that she was there.

“Selena…? Was there something you needed?” Jakob broke out of his thoughts, sighed, and pushed Selena’s face away with slight annoyance, much to her additional annoyance.

“Whatchu so nervous about? Kamui’s got all of this down pat. Especially since Camilla’s here for emotional support, Xander is here for tactical knowledge, and Leo has general knowledge.” Selena sighed and shook her head. “Is it because everyone is reclassing and you aren’t?”

“Ha! I take pride in my class.” He sighed and rubbed his head. “I’m just wondering about interactions. If Mokushu plans to take us by surprise…” He didn’t finish the thought.

“Are you just playing around the subject?”

“Ok, fine. I find it weird that people have time to pursue relationships in the middle of a war.” He shot an embarrassed look at Selena. “Are you happy?”

“I figured it was something other than Mokushu, considering you’ve been composed about everything else in this war save Cheve.” Selena straightened up and crossed her arms, looking across the army. “Well, Effie and Arthur have known each other for years, so that’s not too weird. Besides,” she shrugged and looked back at the butler, “it’s not really our place to judge.”

Jakob nodded his head in sarcasm. “Yes, as we are totally uneducated about the subject.”

“H-hey! Is that a jab at my romantic life? I’ll tell you that there’s no one who knows more than me!” Selena flushed, memories of Ylisse traveling through her head.

“No one save those in actual relationships, anyway,” Jakob teased, a smirk on his face. “But that’s nothing when compared to romance novel knowledge.”

“Hmph!” Selena crossed her arms and turned away. “It’s not _nothing_ at least. Do you have the privilege of saying you hold any knowledge?”

“Yes. I do actually. I’m not as dull as you might think I am.” He wilted away as Selena smirked at him through the corners of her eyes. “Save your wit for someone less fortunate than I. Perhaps Lady Kamui will benefit from your… ah, how should I put this? Extensive knowledge on how real world romance works.” Jakob smiled with a slight nod. “Indeed, as you are intelligent above all others.”

“I suppose you won’t bother to try and snatch that title from me will you?” Selena laughed. “Not very ambitious are we?”

“There is no need to steal that title when I am pursuing one all my own,” Jakob answered back nearly as rapid. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to check up on Odin before he splits his arm again…”

“Oh jeez…” Selena turned and watched him hurry away to the newly promoted dark knight, Odin waving his hand around without a care as Niles watched with thinly veiled nervousness.

Selena shook her head. “I suppose he’s more caring than he lets on…”

Charlotte shrugged as she passed Selena by, a frown on her face. “That’s just what he wants people to think. Instead of that ugly face he wore before, now he’s trying to appear cool or whatever.” She sighed with a casual movement of her hand. “I suppose it’s better than being insulted all the time, but arguing with him is still no fun.”

“Well, is arguing supposed to be fun?” Selena deadpanned.

“What were you two doing then?” Charlotte countered, leaning on the handle of her axe.

“That’s called banter, Charlotte.”

Charlotte shrugged, looking dully to the side toward Benny and Beruka, the two soldiers discussing the make of Beruka’s lance. “It’s something that only you can take pleasure in, Selena. Sure, he hasn’t been insulting my personality as much lately, but it still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.” She sighed and shook her head before looking at the hero with a smirk on her face. “I suppose those months of working with you has finally paid off. I don’t have to watch my back for a knife any more. Man, the things that butler threatens to do…”

“Well, you working with Xander has taught you to be more natural in your conversations.” Charlotte froze and it was Selena’s turn to smirk. “Don’t think I didn’t see through your façade. I know enough about acting to see right through it. Same with a few other people.”

Charlotte shrugged, rolling her arms. “Prince Leo was none the wiser, though Jakob also saw right through me. Lady Kamui also didn’t know, but she’s excusable. I don’t know about Lady Camilla, but I have no reason to chat with her. Not now. Maybe after the war. I want my royal guard position back after all.”

“Jeez Charlotte,” Selena wheezed, “after this is over you can have any job pick you want. You’ll be considered a war hero if we win.”

Charlotte glared at the hero. “ _When_ we win. I can’t afford to lose this. Not now, not ever…”

Selena sighed and shook her head, turning away. “I suppose everyone has their problems.” Selena, Laslow, and Odin still had to find a way to defeat Anankos after all. They had promised, but the dragon had seemed to disappear into the air.

Sure, they had discussed with Lilith how to take him out, but even his daughter didn’t know where he was. Either that, or she was unwilling to tell. The latter was more likely. He wasn’t the best father after all, clearly.

“As long as the problems don’t interfere with me, then it’s fine,” Charlotte sighed, standing up straight and picking up her axe. “We should get into positions, we’ll be marching as soon as Lady Kamui debriefs everyone. What a fun time…”

After marching for the better part of the day, they were about five days’ worth distance from Mokushu. Selena supposed that was where they were supposed to be, but she was still anxious about waiting around for bandits and the like to make off with them. Kamui had gone down to the astral realm to discuss plans with the other royals, those still recovering having also gone with them. A few more soldiers were left on the surface to make sure that the surrounding area was secure and Selena was unfortunately one of them.

Shura plucked his bow string, making sure it was taut. “There doesn’t seem to be any resistance around here. That armor knight’s patrol also has the same result.”

Selena crossed her arms, sword at the ready. “Well, we’re here until the sun completely sets, so we’ve got another half hour. Better sit down and get comfortable.”

Shura sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to look in the opposite direction.

Mozu took a step forward and tapped Selena on the shoulder. “Niles says that his team also didn’t discover anything, so you don’t need to be too worried.” She passed Selena a bread roll and smiled. “Here. I don’t want you starvin’ now. I noticed that you haven’t had a meal in a while, so I hope this helps.”

“Where did you get this? Ah, whatever, it doesn’t matter,” Selena huffed as she shoved the bread into her mouth, chewing slowly. It tasted fairly good and she supposed that Mozu made it herself. She would have had experience with bread baking after all, being from a small town and all.

Mozu laughed, a light noise that raised Selena’s spirits an inch. “Oh, I always have extra food on my person. Ya never know what could go wrong, gotta be prepared.” She sighed, another light noise. “Niles says that I’m always over prepared, but he’s always underprepared, so it evens out in the end.”

“I’m surprised that you hang out with him outside of… work,” Selena admitted. “I can hardly stand him.”

“He’s rather nice if he stops teasing people,” Mozu stated matter-of-factly. “He stopped teasing me after I tried to make an effort to go past my… my village’s destruction… I think he respects me a little more.”

“Well,” Selena sighed, shaking her head, “his whole shtick is teasing people he thinks have perfect pasts, so I’m not very surprised he wasn’t too harsh toward you.”

Mozu looked to the side with a deadpan expression. “Well, this was after I refused his undue offer. I know he was just teasing me, but it was still weird.”

 _Would that be considered…? No, Mozu can’t be_ that _young._ “Just a quick question Mozu, how old are you exactly?” Selena paused. “Just for… clarification.”

“Well, Elise is younger than me. I think Beruka is too, but I’m not completely sure.” Mozu paused. “Well, I’m Prince Leo’s age.”

“Ah.” Selena sighed. “I’m only a year younger than Lady Camilla… Maybe I should retire soon…”

“Course not! You’re at your prime, Selena!” Mozu assured her with fists balled. “You can still do so many things, people in my village would have been envious at your talent! Though, we didn’t have much use for fightin’ and the like. Though the cows were sometimes stubborn…”

“I’m not good with cattle, but thank you for the compliment…”

Mozu nodded her head before turning at a distant shout. “Ah, it seems like Niles wants me back… What is it this time, I wonder…?” She shook her head before running off, her speed enhanced from her years of traversing forestry.

Shura shrugged, adjusting his quiver at his hip. “As long as we don’t find anything worrisome, I’m fine.”

“I suppose so, huh?” Selena sighed with an air of annoyance and boredom. “Well, let’s head over there, I’m sure that we need to patrol that corner.”

After half an hour of absolutely no interference, worrisome bandits, or anything of the category, Selena and the other soldiers finally retired to the astral realm. After a quick calculation, Selena figured that it had been about four or so hours since everyone had last seen each other, at least in the realm. Hopefully Odin’s arm was doing better now.

Instead, she walked into a land of tension and apprehension.

Kamui had her head in her hands, Elise was clinging to her arm with a worried air, Camilla was halfway across the camp discussing something in a rushed tone with Beruka, and Leo and Xander were in some kind of one-sided argument on the other side.

“What in Naga…?”

Niles shrugged, shot a look toward Selena, and walked over to his liege. Mozu was as incredulous as the hero was, though Shura didn’t seem to care much, and he stalked over to where Azura was resting with Kaze.

“I suppose lots can happen in just… a few hours…?” Mozu nodded her head, more certain. “Yes, that’s how long…”

Selena watched Jakob and Felicia walk over to Kamui, try to console her, but ultimately fail. “Well, none of this is my issue, though it has certainly piqued my curiosity.”

“I dunno, maybe it’s best we don’t get tangled in this web…” Mozu muttered, unsure.

“Ha! I won’t get tangled,” Selena assured her with confidence and walked over to the pair of princesses. “So, Lady Kamui, we’re back. What’s happened in the meantime?”

Jakob gave Selena a warning look and Felicia took a step back. Elise shook her head. “Oh, big brother and big sister got so mad… I didn’t think Leo could ever make them this mad…”

“Hm?”

Kamui grit her teeth and patted Elise’s shoulder to get her off of her arm. “It’s… It’s smaller than Xander’s making it, though I suppose I can’t completely blame him for his annoyance…”

Selena locked gazes with Jakob and he clearly did not want her to continue the conversation, but when did she ever listen to him at a time like this? “What’s he so mad about? Perhaps I can calm him down.”

“N-no, this is my fault…” Kamui gave a stuttered laugh. “I should have kept my feelings in check and now I’ve run a rift through everyone in a time when we should be… stable…” She choked back a sob and Selena took a nervous step back. “I shouldn’t have used Leo as a pillar of strength, not when he too was suffering… Not like this…”

“Did you… Uh…” Selena paused to search for a proper question. “What happened exactly?”

Kamui blushed and looked down and Selena felt a ripple of fear pass through her spine. “Oh no,” the hero muttered.

Kamui nodded her head slowly, looking to the side away from Elise, Mozu, and Selena. “Something I shouldn’t have done…”

Jakob shook his head. “If you continue to be this vague, Lady Kamui, they’ll get the wrong idea.” He turned to face the two fully. “She has gained feelings for…” He gulped. “Prince Leo…”

Elise shook her head. “We… We’ve known that she wasn’t our sibling for… A while.” Elise wiped away a tear. “I learned when I was very young and Brother’s known for even longer I bet. Big Sister and Big Brother have known forever, but that didn’t make her any less loved! We treated her like true family when we could. Sure,” she muttered, “only I could make time each month consistently to come, but that doesn’t mean they liked her any less! Or any differently…”

“How…” Selena paused to articulate her thoughts. “Do you know how long this has gone on, Elise?”

Elise shrugged. “I think he’s liked her for a long time, but how could I bring that up? It would be sacrilegious…”

“Yea, I suppose that would be a thing… Though I saw this coming a mile away,” Selena finished with a huff, crossing her arms, and Kamui looked up with surprise. Selena shrugged at the gesture. “You two have been clingier, not to mention ever since he showed up, you’ve been a little bit happier, though something like Cheve hasn’t happened again, so maybe that’s just a coincidence.” Though, Nestra was a thing…

Kamui shrugged. “I have no right to this… I did think they were all my siblings for the longest time, though strange it was. I suppose in the end, it wasn’t proper siblingship on my side, but I have crossed a line I shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I can neither encourage this nor discourage it,” Selena stated. “Your life is your own and surely Prince Leo knows the weight of his actions. He may not have seen you as a sibling; he’s too smart for that. These are tough waters to tread, though.”

Jakob shrugged and brushed Felicia away from his side. “The fallout must not reach King Garon at least. His reaction to this is unknown, but at this point we mustn’t let it spread around…”

Elise bit her lip and stood up, crossing her arms behind her back. “Is something like this ok? Is it… morally ok?”

“From one perspective,” Mozu admitted. “It’s not unlike royalty to…” She gulped. “Inbreed. Though in these modern times, it’s more looked down upon…”

“At least the royal siblings aren’t taking many wives,” Felicia stated, trying to bring up the mood. She looked around. “That’s good, right?”

“Yes, I suppose we should weigh our blessings,” Selena huffed out, rubbing her head. “However little we have.” Garon had certainly tainted his children in more ways than one. Selena had once heard that there used to be numerous more siblings, but that they had all died out. Or something. She only caught a few hushed words from Camilla to Leo and Xander, so it wasn’t really her position to judge or guess as to what had really happened.

Kamui sank her face into her hands again, a few tears leaking through the cracks between her fingers, and Jakob patted her on the back while Felicia took a step forward and asked if she should get some tea or other refreshments for the princess.

Selena didn’t really want to stick around for much longer, but she should probably comfort Camilla and see how she was holding up. There hadn’t been much of a rift in the family lately (if ever; Selena didn’t really know), so this was likely to put a dart in her liege’s heart.

Beruka looked up as Selena reached the position of the two and told Camilla as such. The princess turned to face her second retainer, a worried expression reflected in her eyes. “Oh Selena, I suppose you must have learned…”

“Lots of things happen when I’m gone for an hour,” Selena huffed, musing at the prospect. “How long ago did you last see me?”

“About… eight hours?” Camilla shook her head. “Everyone here had a light nap, if you were wondering. I suppose you want to turn in as well? Get your beauty rest?”

“Not until I see how you’re doing, Lady Camilla,” Selena stated while crossing her arms. “Lady Kamui’s pretty upset. How about you? Are you ok?”

Camilla looked to the side and ran a hand through her long hair. “I suppose I’m not very surprised, though I never like it when someone chooses someone else over me…” She wiped away a tear and Selena set her jaw. “It’s always hard, becoming second best…”

“Well, that doesn’t mean you’re any less liked, Lady Camilla.” Selena nodded toward Beruka and the shorter retainer voiced her own approval. “Perhaps you should be happy for them…?”

“Perhaps…” Camilla sighed. “I’m sorry, darlings, I’m being rather immature, aren’t I?” She laughed, putting a hand to her chest. “Though change is hard to adjust to, I should welcome this. Kamui has seemed happier as of late and I would approve of someone that we both know well over someone who we have only just met. And Niles.”

“No kidding,” Selena mumbled to the side.

“Change is not always bad, Lady Camilla,” Beruka stated, a hand to her lady’s arm. “I have… changed recently, and that change is helping me in the long run.”

Camilla smiled and nodded her head. “I’ve noticed.” Camilla waved Selena off. “You should head to bed darling, I don’t want you wearing yourself thin. We’ll be here for a few days anyway, until the sun rises at the surface.”

Selena nodded and turned to the barracks. She would deal with the further fallout tomorrow, but for now, she couldn’t care less.

. . .

Selena stared at the chessboard for a few more long moments, noting that she was running out of pawns, but if she played this move right she could upgrade one of them. She tapped her finger on her king as she observed the positions of her opponent’s pieces. One of the rooks was too close for comfort, but as long as she kept to the right…

She moved her bishop upwards and to the left, putting the opponent’s queen in a risky position.

Leo sighed and shook his head. “Ah, so you’re not as observant as Kamui would have me think.”

“W-what? Of course I am!” Selena prickled at the accusation, leaning back with a huff. “What’s wrong with that move anyway?”

Leo responded by quickly capturing her last rook with his queen and set it gingerly to the side. “You’re running on a small amount of units. Good thing you aren’t our tactician, right?” Leo chuckled as Selena crossed her arms and stared at the board, a blush covering her cheeks.

“W-well, I’m a soldier! Not a strategist! That’s your job.” She bit her thumbnail. She was running out of options and was looking rather stupid, considering her earlier words. “Ugh! Chess isn’t really fair anyway, not with the rules changing depending on the house!”

“We’re not using house rules, Selena,” Leo said with a dull voice, bringing the fact up.

Selena huffed. “W-well, whatever! I’ll win anyway!” She captured his queen with her own and he took out hers with a rook. She positioned her pawn to upgrade and replaced it with her queen. Leo took it out with his rook and she took that out with her bishop.

“You’re definitely not bad,” Leo mused as he moved his own pawn. “Most people I play with can’t go half the speed we’re going now.”

“Well,” Selena laughed confidently, “I’m not stupid. Quite the opposite. I’m just a natural.”

“Yea, sure,” Leo mumbled as Selena took out another one of his pawns and he followed up with a bishop move. “I suppose without further evidence, I’m inclined to believe that for now.”

“Good.”

Regardless of her earlier moves, Selena ended up losing hilariously easy to the prince and he set aside her king with a satisfied smirk. She crossed her arms and glared to the side, near the window. She would never admit that he was good, not like this. She wouldn’t take this loss sitting down either. “Well, I guess that was just a fluke. I’ll catch you on a different day and then we’ll see who the victor is.”

“I’m sure we will,” Leo sighed from his seat before standing up and clearing the chessboard.

“Speaking of other things though,” Selena offered up, “I assume everyone is nervous with… this…” She gestured vaguely. He would know what she was talking about anyway. “How did Prince Xander take it? Not very well, I assume?”

Leo stiffened while setting the black king back into the case, but he recovered quickly enough to make Selena wonder if he had even shown emotion in the first place. “My brother took the news just like anyone else would, though I hadn’t planned on revealing anything so soon, not while we’re at a tense situation politically.” Leo gulped, but continued to put his pieces back. “It will smooth out to normal in a few days’ time, especially since it is our business and our business alone…”

“Well,” Selena huffed and crossed her arms, making herself more comfortable, “I can’t exactly dissuade you from pursuing romance, especially since you’ve found yourself a keeper if I do say so myself-“

Leo blushed as she continued.

“But I suggest you tenderfoot your way around this situation,” she finished with a toss of her head. “Lady Kamui seems emotionally unstable at this point, and why I couldn’t guess, but emotions like love can fake themselves.” Selena looked at the younger prince, confidence in her gaze. “Be careful if you know what’s good for you.”

Leo nodded his head with an air of grace. “I will keep your suggestion in mind.” He sat down and clasped his hands. “Though, I suppose now it’s a time for a turn in subject.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Having been around Kamui more during the course of our excursion, I’ve also had the…” He paused, searching for a word. “Pleasure of being around her butler more often. Certainly, I knew him already of course, but when I was younger I would always sense this air of… Malice? Perhaps that isn’t the right word, but you should understand what I mean. He was always nice to Elise and I of course because we were royalty, and Kamui’s family besides, but lately I’ve noticed that the air is gone.” He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes. “I suppose I have you to thank for that, though I also have to wonder how much talking to Kamui gave him to help him get over his bitter ways.”

“I don’t think I’m really at fault for that, Lord Leo,” Selena stuttered, flushing slightly. “Anyone would get less touchy around a group of eccentricities. Not to mention Kamui’s here… Ah, Lady Kamui,” she quickly corrected herself.

Leo waved his hand. “You don’t need to use formalities when talking in this way, though I suggest you keep your head when you’re talking with my older sister as you’re her retainer.”

Selena dipped her head. “I apologize…”

“We’re talking about you anyway,” Leo continued. “There’s no need.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m really… anything special in that respect. I’m not very good with people anyway, not as I am now…” Selena blushed again, realizing what she said. “W-when it’s something that’s not normal anyway, otherwise I’m just fine! Just fine.”

“You’re an interesting person, Selena.” Leo laughed as Selena shot him a look. “Don’t think I don’t know about you, Odin, and Laslow appearing to us out of thin air. We trust you, though, so that is why we’re fine with your pasts. You’ve proven yourselves to us, so there’s no reason to mistrust you.”

“Thank you, Prince Leo…” Selena sighed. “I’m afraid I should be going now, though, Lady Kamui wants me to get in some more training with Jakob before we arrive at Mokushu.” She stood up and shoved her chair back to the table. “There’s also some shopping I must attend to, of utmost importance.”

“Yes, yes, you get along with that,” Leo dismissed the mercenary, waving his hand. “Don’t go too hard on him, though,” he winked. “We need able-bodied soldiers, not exhausted ones.”

“Ha! I’ll train him as hard as I need to in order to get his skills up.”

Training didn’t take too long, though Jakob was clearly distracted as a result of the recent events, and he messed up on several easy techniques. After analyzing his concentration, Selena trained him for a few more hours under the watchful eye of Gunter before tossing her wooden sword to the side, calling it quits.

“I’m fine, really, I can continue in order to polish my skills in order to-“

Selena waved her hand, cutting Jakob off. He seemed slightly peeved at her action, but calmed down as she matched his gaze with a stern brow. “You’re clearly distracted. You won’t get anywhere like this. What’s bothering you? Is it all that?”

Jakob shot a look over to Gunter who shrugged and walked off while writing some things down on a piece of paper. He looked back at Selena who had crossed her arms before turning around with a sigh, picking up her training sword and putting both utilities away. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Yea ok, and I’m a dragon,” Selena deadpanned while walking over to him and grabbing his shoulder to turn him around in order to have a proper conversation. “Look, you may as well get it off of your chest if it’s going to keep working away at you like this.” She removed her hand and took a step back, an exasperated expression on her face. “You can’t be distracted later anyway, so it’s better to solve the issue sooner than later, isn’t it?”

Jakob sighed and rubbed his head, pushing his bangs away from his face. Selena bit her tongue. “It’s Lady Kamui’s… relationship?” He paused to deliberate the context. “No, there are better words for this…” He paused and turned to the side, hand on his chin. “Feelings?”

“Yea ok. What about them?” It was weird to be playing therapist, especially since Selena had needed the services multiple times in the past (possibly to no avail), but if it was going to help him with his swordplay, she was willing to assist him.

“I worry they’re not genuine feelings as a result of how Prince Leo has helped her get through the worst of these events,” Jakob lamented with a glance off to the direction of the treehouse. “I am not averse to her forming a relationship, as it will help her emotional state, but I wish for it to be genuine as opposed to contrived…”

“I doubt it’s contrived,” Selena sighed, placing a hand on her hip. “They’ve known each other for a while and I doubt Leo is the type of person to half-ass things. Besides,” she continued with a different air, “weren’t you there for her a lot? If that was the answer, then surely she would have formed feelings for you.” Selena paused to roll the though around in her mind. “Though, everything does raise a few questions…”

“In the end, it’s not our issue to address,” Jakob sighed with lament, arms limp. “That doesn’t stop me from worrying about Lady Kamui, however. I can only hope that she… turns out ok…”

“Well, it’s not like there aren’t relationships here,” Selena laughed while gesturing around the campgrounds. “There’s Effie and Arthur. I think. Not to mention Kaze and Lady Azura have been hanging around each other a lot.”

“They were both raised in Hoshido and have a past together,” Jakob pointed out.

“Pfft, that doesn’t mean anything!” Selena laughed. “Other than them, Niles seems to have a thing for Mozu, though I shudder at the implications of that…” She sighed and shook her head, tapping it a few times with her hand. “I suppose there aren’t as many couples as I thought.”

“Peri and Laslow, perhaps?” Jakob offered with a gesture. “Peri has difficulties getting along with anyone else.”

“Maybe.” Selena shrugged and gave Jakob a look. “I dunno.”

“It’s surprising how some people in this army have time to socialize and form romantic attachment,” Jakob mused, a hand to his face. “Perhaps they are slacking off on their chores?”

Selena laughed with a monotone. “Nah, I’ve seen stuff like this happen before. It’s hardly unnatural.”

Jakob paused, contemplating her words. “What a strange world this is…”

“Yes indeed…” _Same with all of them…_

“Would…” Jakob paused to articulate his words. “Would you ever consider something like that an ample use of your time…?”

Selena let the question hang in the air. It wasn’t like she hadn’t formed feelings for someone before, but in the end it didn’t mean anything. Robin had told her that feelings helped everyone work together better, so it was never something to be passed over completely, she supposed. “I… I don’t know.” She exhaled, running a hand through her pigtail. “If I worked better as a result, then I guess it wouldn’t be terrible, though I’m against it right now. Besides! I work fine right now! I don’t need anything… extra…”

“You seem the kind of person to capitalize on any strengthening opportunity that you can,” Jakob pointed out with an even air. He wasn’t completely wrong either, though Selena didn’t really want to think about the implications of actually having a future with someone from this world.

“Well,” Selena blushed, looking to the side, “love isn’t something that can just be used to capitalize on, that’s too shallow… Not to mention, I have a home I have to go back to… Once I go back there, then I can never come back here. So, yea, there’s a bit of a dilemma in those respects.”

“Hm?” Jakob seemed to wilt at her words, though Selena could have seen wrong. “You…. Ah, that clears up a few things.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Have… Have you told this to Lady Camilla and Beruka yet, or are you planning on leaving them in the dark? That would be traumatic for the both of them, let alone the rest of the army.”

“I don’t think I could leave Camilla in the dark even if I tried,” Selena admitted with a forced laugh. “Beruka is another issue, but it…” She sighed. “Well, I suppose it would make more sense for _you_ now as opposed to them. Though, I would like you to keep it a secret from everyone else… For reasons I can’t… explain.”

“I knew you would be leaving, considering what you have already divulged to me,” Jakob stated, “and naturally that would carry any baggage with it,” Jakob continued with a light voice, “but I didn’t… I had no clue that it was as polarized as this…”

“Yea.” Selena paused to look at the side, noticing the sun reflect off of the water of the pond. “That’s why Odin and I are at odds. How can we live with a foot in two ‘worlds’ after all, huh?” She laughed with a nervous tone. “But I have family and friends where I come from… I’m here for… A bigger purpose.” Selena let her words die off for a few seconds as she let memories of Ylisse flow through her brain, thinking of her closer friends, her past mother and father. She shook her head and let determination come back to her voice. “Once my mission is over, I have to go back.”

She looked up to see what Jakob thought of the situation, but reflected in his eyes was an emotion that she couldn’t place, even if she had a dictionary of definitions in front of her. She tilted her head slightly, narrowing her eyes with confusion.

Jakob set his jaw and turned around rather harshly and crossed his arms. “If that is how it is, then we don’t have a right to stop you. If you have a family, then it’s only natural that you would want to return to them…”

“Well, they’re not my… real parents of course. They’re important to me of course, but we’re not… related.” Selena paused. “Wait a second, did you think I was talking about someone else?” She laughed. “I’ve been in service to Lady Camilla for about five years. There’s no way I could be married as a teenager.” She flushed, wondering if she read too much into the situation. “That is what you were thinking about, right?”

“In a way.” Jakob turned his head slightly to look at her through the corner of his eye. “But what about the friends that you’ve made here? Do they mean nothing to you?”

“I… No, they’re not nothing,” Selena pouted, crossing her arms while looking to the side. “But I have friends in my homeland. Friends that I’ve been through with in life and death… I can’t discard bonds like that.”

“Two wars, huh?”

“Pretty much three.”

“What a life you must have lived,” Jakob muttered while finally turning around fully to face her. The expression was still lingering in his eyes, but less forceful that before. “I almost feel sorry for you.”

“I don’t need your pity,” Selena sighed, venom absent from her voice. She let her arms hang at her side. “At least I had loving parents. You didn’t even have that.”

“Perhaps, but I wasn’t in a dying country,” Jakob countered weakly.

“Are you sure?” Selena retaliated with the same kind of tone, watching for his reaction.

Jakob paused, unable to accurately answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Before I get into the meat of this note, I've been placing ~symbolism~ in this story and small notes and things like that, I hope yall notice it.*  
> So, I have made little progress on this fic this week. Scraping together the motivation to do even ordinary homework (let alone studying) has been a complete chore and I'm emotionally dead.  
> I thought last week was going to be the worst week this year hahahah...  
> One of my classmates died over the weekend? Or something, I'm not sure. Maybe Friday. But I only learned about it on Monday, so that's just ruined me this week.  
> I've been stuck on chapter twelve this whole week. Usually I'd be done with it (and I was just barely able to finish it yesterday), but my motivation has been... pretty bad. Even without an AP test to do (it was pretty easy btw go AP lit), my work load is still decent.  
> This has just been the killer.  
> I wouldn't make such a long note otherwise, but I suppose something like this is going to affect my work in some way. While I wasn't planning to make comparisons to the frailty/meaning of life or anything, no doubt my feelings will work their way into this fanfiction. They always do without fail, but perhaps it might bring some reality/meaning to this story that would be absent otherwise...?  
> What's funny to think about, when it comes to the internet, someone could die and no one would be the wiser. I could drop off of the face of the Earth and none of my readers would know. No one can predict the futute. Even I don't know if I'm going to be alive tomorrow.  
> Life is precious, even if some of us don't think so. I know I have problems thinking in that way since I'm not... all there. I joke around with things like death a lot and I'm (clearly) able to write about things that may disturb others. (thanks hans). Regardless of that, I do believe that life is something to at least consider and deep feelings aren't something to joke about.  
> Perhaps more of us should be doing the same.  
> Perhaps we're not doing enough in this World.  
> But what would I know?
> 
> Happy reading~


	11. Guardian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uaaaa I have so much schoolwork T-T but I did it! I got the chapter done.  
> This is my favorite chapter too. I had a lot of fun writing it!

“Hm, today seems as good of a day as any to get some shopping done,” Selena mused to herself as she touched one of the leaves of her plants. She needed a few things, among others, and they had another day in the astral realm before having to march, and then another day (or so) before Mokushu. Plenty of time for some quick, shopping related stress relief.

Perhaps Lady Camilla and Beruka could use a few items. Selena and her partner had been shopping around, trying to find some kind of matching bangle for the both of them and their princess, but hadn’t had much luck. Maybe if she went to another astral realm instead of the surface, there would be something interesting.

She let the idea stir around in her mind as she headed to breakfast, specially prepared by Flora and Peri. Selena was almost surprised that Jakob hadn’t been involved since he had once (vaguely) expressed to her that he should catch up with his fellow retainer. Preparing food would have been a good opportunity for that.

Charlotte and Niles were arguing at one of the tables, so Selena decided to sit at the opposite end with Laslow and Azura. Kaze was somewhere else and Kamui might have still been sleeping. Laslow waved with a light gesture as she sat down. “Good morning to you, Selena. You’re up fairly late.”

“W-well, it’s a day off for me,” Selena admitted before digging into her breakfast. “I’m just going to go do some shopping later. I might knock out a few lists in the process.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Azura mused, her sing-song voice permeating the air. “I have a few things that I’ve been wanting to pick up for a while, but haven’t had the time.”

“Well, I’ve been fine myself,” Laslow admitted with a shrug, “but I’m sure the food stores need a bit of restocking, especially fresh produce that we can’t get normally. Maybe some spices.”

Selena shrugged. She didn’t know the extent that the camp needed to operate. Xander or Leo was in charge of that, and Elise was in charge of medicine. Camilla must have been in charge of something, too, but Selena didn’t know that either.

“What is the reason for you excursion, Selena?” Azura inquired. “Just some normal shopping, or is there something you need?”

Selena shrugged, not completely rudely, and ate another bite. “Y’know, just some stuff, a bit of fun, maybe something of eternal use. Memories. The like.”

Azura nodded her head with understanding. “It’s nice to have items to signify your journey. Though,” she added with a touch of her pendant, “some things can carry all of that at once.”

Selena stared at the ornament for a few more seconds. She had always wondered the nature of the songstress’s necklace, but it wasn’t really her place to pry. It had seemed to have some kind of power, though Selena couldn’t place the origin. It almost made her feel like… she was back in that strange place with Anankos.

Apparently King Garon knew who Anankos was, but he worshiped the dragon instead of abhorring it. Seemed likely. Hopefully no one else worshiped that abomination, the trio didn’t really want a repeat of Grima. Or rather, a third time of Grima. Something like that.

“Something on your mind, Selena?” Azura took another bite of her meal, looking into the retainer’s eyes, and Selena startled.

“N-no, nothing much. I’m completely carefree!” She huffed and finished her breakfast to prove it.

After sorting through her things a few times and going over some slightly more advanced techniques with Jakob (she couldn’t skip his training after all), she was almost ready for her shopping extravaganza.

Of course, she had no clue which astral realm to even visit. Perhaps one she hadn’t gone to already?

“I guess it would be better to talk with Lilith about this, but maybe someone else would know…”

“Muttering to yourself again, Selena?” Jakob snarked from the side, sans venom. “That’s bad for appearance’s sake.”

“Oh, you’d know so much about appearances, wouldn’t you, Jakob?” Selena replied with a half-hearted interest. She sighed and went over a list. “Kaze wants the weirdest things… And that’s not even keeping Silas in mention…”

Jakob looked over her shoulder at the piece of paper, taking in the separate orders. “What seems to be the issue?”

Selena sighed before shoving the list into her pocket. “I don’t know where to go to get all of these things. I’ve been to a few separate astral realms, though I’d like to go somewhere new.” She looked to the side toward Lilith’s shrine. “I don’t even know what’s available, though…”

“Well,” Jakob sighed while crossing his arms and adjusting his stance, “I know of a few places that you haven’t visited. There is one that I’ve taken a particular liking to, but it might not be for you.”

“Hm? What do you mean by that?”

“It’s snowy nearly all year round. I’m not sure if it’s the warm season there, but it is likely not.”

Selena laughed and waved her hand. “Snow’s nothing. I grew up in the cold. Jeez,” she smirked, “that’s not something to be worried about.”

Jakob’s cheeks gained a slight tint of red as he looked to the side, embarrassed. “How would I know that? You never told me.”

“Haha, well, I haven’t been there yet, obviously, so that sounds like a decent candidate, though I’ll have to dig out my warmer clothes.” Selena stepped to the side, hand to her face, as she considered what she could find in such a place. “I suppose since it’s snowy all year round, there should be plenty of stalls up if it’s cold.”

“Yes, that’s usually how it is.” Jakob turned back. “Perhaps… I could go along with you and make sure you don’t get lost. It’s easy with all of the snow.”

“Pfft! If you want to go with me, you don’t need to turn it into a chore. Just say.” Selena laughed before turning to head off to her room. Hopefully Lilith still knew the location of the astral realm.

. . .

“Selena!” The one in question turned her head as Kamui ran toward her, holding a shopping list. She paused, hands on her knees as she arrived in front of her sister’s retainer. “Ah, thank goodness I caught you…”

“What is it, Kamui?” Selena looked toward Lilith, who continued to hold the portal to the other astral realm open. “You need something…?”

Jakob plucked the piece of paper out of his liege’s hand before giving it a read over. He must have told her about their shopping excursion. “This isn’t as much as I would have thought, Lady Kamui.”

“W… Well, everyone else has their own stuff that they wanted, so I wanted to shave it down to a minimum,” Kamui admitted. She took a glance through the portal. “Besides, just by looking at you two and the land, there’s not going to be any fresh food available… Oh well.”

Selena shrugged and looked at Jakob, rubbing her mittens together. “There’ll be other things to do. Besides, it wasn’t primarily a food shopping need that I’m going for either.”

Kamui looked between the both of them for a few seconds, hands crossed behind her back, before she nodded with a smile. “Have fun then! I’m sure you’ll find something unique.”

Jakob dipped his head in formality. “We’ll be back in…?” He looked at Selena.

“Five hours at most. That’ll be around dinner, right?”

Kamui nodded. “I’ll be waiting! If anything goes wrong, I’ll send Felicia and Flora out. After what happened with Mozu and Niles on that one shopping trip, we’re a little tighter with schedules.”

Selena and Jakob both nodded, parted ways with Kamui, and stepped through the portal, boots crunching into snow. Lilith waved at them before closing the entrance with a crackle of energy, not wanting to disturb the climate or expend her energy.

A few seconds passed and Selena exhaled slowly, watching her breath float through the crisp air. It was considerably colder than she expected, but it was also a little prettier because of it. The sunlight reflected off of the snow with a sparkling sheen and, even though it wasn’t snowing, the powder falling off of the tree branches cast a soft glow throughout the woods.

“Well,” Jakob muttered while hitching his coat up, covering his neck more, “the village is about half an hour’s walk from here.” He turned to look at her for a few seconds before staring back into the woods. “As much as it would be nice to observe the surroundings, we only have a limited amount of time.”

Selena nodded her head, tightening her scarf. “Yea. We should head off.”

It was a calm walk to the village and the sound of snow crunching under boots served to set the overall tone of the journey. The trees covered with white snow reflected the sun rather brightly, but the shade was enough to stop their eyes from hurting. A few pine needles littered the bed of snow and Selena could smell the scent of sap in the air, though it was almost cold enough for her to scrape her scarf over her face instead. The tinge of cold air flooding her lungs wasn’t entirely comfortable, but she could deal with it since she was walking through shin-deep snow after all.

Jakob was, obviously, having an easier time with the snow since he was almost a head taller than her, which annoyed Selena slightly because she found herself falling behind from his pace multiple times until he adjusted his stride, apparently not wanting to leave her too far behind.

A few memories of the continent of Ylisse flooded through Selena’s mind, reminding her of the snowy days that she experienced as a child with her family. Pegasi could be adjusted to the cold, so her mother said it was never an issue when they took the steed for a fly around, looking at the tops of the snowy trees from a distance far above the ground. It was certainly a unique experience, though her memories had been dulled by age.

She wouldn’t be able to experience something like that again, not with her mother, so Selena had tried to hold on to those times the best she could.

“Thinking of something? You’re being rather quiet.” Selena turned at Jakob’s question, kicking up a bit of snow.

“Just my childhood. It snowed a lot when I was young, so I was just remembering a few things…”

Jakob nodded and turned back himself. “The fortress often had snow, though I never went outside unless Lady Kamui prompted me to.” He rubbed his arms, suppressing a shiver. “It was much too cold for my liking.”

“Well, it wasn’t like the fortress was a haven of warmth. Maybe that’s why you’re always so deathly pale.” Selena kicked up a footfull of snow, watching it separate and scatter in the air. It was fairly powdery, nothing like what she would enjoy playing in as a child, but it was better for them now anyway.

“I assume you didn’t have many snowy days in Krakenburg as a result of its location,” Jakob mused. “Like Kamui, I haven’t been able to experience much of this world. What I remember are small memories as a kid, a few times that Gunter let me leave the fortress for work, and this war.”

“I never really thought about that…” It should have been common sense to her that if Kamui had been locked away, he would have been trapped in as well. It was his job to be with Kamui after all and it wasn’t like someone would let a kid out to do basic shopping, especially when it took a journey to get to any near place. The fortress was certainly a unique experience. She never really liked visiting with Camilla and elected to not go, especially when she had other things that she could have been doing.

Even back then, she and Jakob hadn’t gotten along the best. They were both younger anyway; she was a new adult, or maybe still an old teen, and he was still a teen. They had argued whenever they had seen each other, as long as Kamui and Camilla hadn’t been around. It hadn’t even been about things that were useful in the long run, Selena mused, like how to properly cook something, how to steep coffee properly. Small things like that.

“Hm, the more I think about the fortress, the more I remember that it was less lonely the older that Lady Kamui turned, but…” He sighed, his breath forming a cloud in the cold air. “I still felt an emptiness in my heart.”

“Well, anyone would, being locked up in there,” Selena assured him with a quiet voice.

“It was always a bright time whenever the royal family would visit,” Jakob mused with a light laugh. “She would run around, getting things tidied up, drawing pictures of what she had read so that she could tell her family everything that she did. For me, it was always interesting to hear the stories of what the retainers had done in their spare time. Laslow and Peri didn’t visit often for obvious reasons,” Jakob clarified with a look toward Selena, “but Niles, Effie, and Arthur came often. Beruka visited a few times, but I never communicated with her, so she may as well have not visited.”

“I only started going to the fortress when things were getting strained with the nobles and King Garon seemed as if he was preparing for a war.” Selena paused. “That was a few years before all of this though.”

“Yes indeed.” Jakob huffed, looking down. “Though I was in the fortress, at least I did not have the displeasure of associating with the king.”

“Well, it wasn’t like being in the city was terribly bad,” Selena clarified with a wave of her hand, catching Jakob’s attention. “It’s pretty interesting to be in a city that’s in the ground. There was nothing really like that where I came from. Besides,” she continued, letting the topic traverse new ground, “I had Lady Camilla and Beruka to be with, along with Odin and Laslow… And my work.”

“Yet, even then, you found a few times to visit the fortress with Camilla, even if you didn’t want to,” Jakob laughed, bringing Selena to pout slightly.

“W-well, what she wanted me to do is what I would do…” Selena muttered. “That’s all. I didn’t go because I wanted to see Lady Kamui or anything. Or help them out. It was just me going with Lady Camilla.”

“I remember one time you were trying to help me with dinner preparations, but ended up burning the soup,” Jakob chuckled while recalling the memory. “I was surprised that you managed to do even that, but it seems like your cooking skills have improved since then.”

“W-well, I wasn’t completely used to Nohrian cuisine yet,” Selena pouted, a flush arriving at her cheeks. “Besides, you ended up almost cutting yourself multiple times.”

“It’s always more nerve-wracking to work with someone who is determined to do everything themselves.”

“Ha! I could say the same to you!”

Selena and Jakob shared a laugh before letting the sound fade away to be replaced by the silence of the snow.

“I suppose everyone has changed since then…” Selena mused, letting the words hang in the air.

“Though, some haven’t changed enough.”

She couldn’t really disagree.

Twenty or so minutes passed before Selena was able to pick the roofs of various houses and buildings out from the trees and the snow. There was a general somber feeling floating around the town, though it didn’t seem sad or depressing. The calm was a nice change from her daily life, anyway, so she would welcome this.

Jakob adjusted his coat again, making sure his scarf’s position didn’t change. “I’ll start off with Lady Kamui’s list then. I’m better at assessing the quality of produce anyway.” He turned to look at Selena as she observed the few shops that were open. “What do you need to do?”

“Beruka wanted another scarf, I think Kaze did too, Lady Camilla wanted some earrings…” Selena took out her list. “Things like that.”

Jakob dipped his head in understanding. “I’ll leave you to that then. We’ll meet up in… an hour then?”

Selena looked up, confused. “Where are you going, then?”

“Oh, I’ll need to walk over to that larger building over there,” he said while pointing toward a large house looking thing, “and you’ll be on the opposite side of town.”

Selena nodded, rubbing her nose. “Ok then, we’ll meet up at… The center of town, over there.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Selena figured that her first stop should be a clothing shop, considering that she wanted a few things and her list had a few clothing-related items that other people wanted. Perhaps she should also get another scarf for herself, though the one she was currently wearing seemed to fare just fine. Maybe a coat or fluffier mittens would do better. She nodded her head and started to walk around the town, taking in the few shops set up that were food related.

One had the Hoshidan food takoyaki, a few others were small delicacies, some of them were frozen meats. These must have been more specialized since Jakob was currently at the place that served as the food hub. She walked over to the takoyaki stand, looking over the delicacies that were currently offered.

The stall manager smiled as Selena leaned slightly forward and looked at the fire cooking the food, noticing that the snow on top of the roof was melting ever so slowly. “Would you like one, miss? Only a few silvers each! A deal.”

Selena looked up while straightening, tilting her head slightly. “What’s the composition of the takoyaki? Spices?”

“Oh,” the seller pointed to the sides of the pan, “these ones are lightly seasoned with a Nohrian style flair. Basil, rosemary, lighter spices, but grilled in a special oil. The others are seasoned with Hoshidan spices, slightly spicier than the Nohrian flair, but slightly less thick than the others, if you know what I mean.”

Selena nodded, running through her mental list of herbs. “Sounds interesting…” She waved her hand in an apologetic fashion. “I’m not hungry right now, though, but if it’s still up later, I’ll consider getting some.”

“Haha, of course!” The manager smiled. “I have some spice bottles for sale if you’re willing to consider those.” Selena watched the manager gesture over the bottles of spices and she grabbed one of them, rubbing a finger over the label. Peri had mentioned needed more spices, though she hadn’t specified what. Perhaps Selena could give her a bit of a challenge by getting a different spice than normal.

“I’ll take one of these, and one of this…”

The other shops held the same kind of unique air that the few food stands had. The snow made everything seem strangely soft and the people inside were no exception. Everyone was exceptionally kind, even giving Selena slight discounts when she had casually mentioned that she was currently fighting in a war; her sword probably upheld her words. She almost declined, but she would have to save money in the long run if she hoped to survive on a paycheck.

The few clothes that she had purchased were made with a certain kind of flair; the people in this town were certainly proud of their quality. Selena reflected back for a few seconds on how Jakob seemed to be adept at making his own clothing, though Selena didn’t know if that extended to things like shirts or not. Perhaps he could sell scarves someday if Kamui gave him enough spare time. Maybe mittens or gloves.

Selena shook her head, flushing slightly at the thought. This was no time to worry about his future! She had her own future to debate about. She looked at a few more of the shops, not very interested in the various merchandise; she didn’t own a dog after all, and she wasn’t an avid hunter either. The jewelry shop that she had passed by earlier caught her gaze again. She and Beruka had discussed finding some kind of charm for the three of them to purchase and keep in reminder of each person. Maybe she could find something like that here. Or, if she didn’t, she could find a cute necklace or bracelet. Maybe earrings.

She passed her gaze over the few rings set out, making sure to seem casual so that the shopkeeper wouldn’t get frightened. Most of the villagers had seemed chill with her sword, but a few hadn’t been so considerate. Jewelry was expensive anyway, and if someone was going to rob someone, a sword was a good choice of weaponry.

“Hmm, I don’t know if I can afford this…” She could certainly try, but after her necessity shopping (that had taken longer than she expected to, she reflected while looking at the sun) she didn’t have much gold left. Beruka and Kaze had given her enough for their orders, of course, but some things just added up.

“I understand that you think it’s a little expensive,” the shopkeeper assured Selena, “but these pieces of jewelry are high quality, especially around here. Though,” she smiled, “if you’re feeling like you don’t have enough, this section over here is probably more in your range.” She gestured to some rings and bracelets along with a few hair pieces. Certainly more affordable than the bedazzled necklaces that Selena had been gazing at a few minutes prior.

“Maybe you should reconsider your range, Selena,” a quiet voice suggested.

Selena jumped back into Jakob, startled that he had suddenly talked over her shoulder. “J-Jeez, don’t scare me like that!” She stepped forward, brushing off her shoulder after rubbing her ear absentmindedly, making sure that he hadn’t fallen over or anything after she ran into him. “I just lost track of the time… Nothing major.” She looked away as Jakob shot her an accusing glare.

“Oh whatever, you seemed to at least have held back your spending habits.” He looked around, probably admiring the snow himself. “Did you get everything you needed?”

“Yea, but I wanted to do a bit of shopping for me too, ya know,” Selena huffed, looking back at the jewelry. “I gotta find cool stuff to bring back with me after all.”

Jakob was silent at that statement and Selena wondered if she made the mood too somber for them. She paused before leaning back up again, catching his gaze. “Well… I do… Besides!” Selena huffed and crossed her arms, “there’s nothing wrong with me wanting to get stuff like this…”

“Whatever you’d like, then,” he sighed, brushing her off. “I’m not interested in such trinkets.”

“Yea, but maybe you could get an ornament or something for your hair. I dunno,” Selena shrugged. “Lady Kamui always seemed interested in that stuff, so I figured you would be a little particular toward it too. Or maybe you could get one for her?”

“That doesn’t matter for me. I prefer utility over appearance. And Lady Kamui prefers to do that shopping herself…”

It made sense at least. Jakob seemed about as concerned with his appearance as Beruka did: utility over attraction. Though, at least he didn’t wear a headband like the former assassin did.

Selena crossed her arms, but turned back to the stall. She didn’t want to raise the shopkeeper’s hopes and not buy anything; that wasn’t really the nicest thing to do. There were a few interesting rings. One had a blue stone in the middle, another had an emblem that Camilla would probably take interest in. Selena still had her mother’s wedding ring, however, even if she never showed it. She was wearing gloves most of the time after all and she didn’t really need another ring.

The bracelets were fairly run of the mill. They were cute, of course, but they weren’t anything that Selena would pay through the nose for. The price wasn’t really fitting for her.

Jakob shifted his position next to her and Selena was surprised that he hadn’t gone off to do shopping at another location. “Oh, we should go to that takoyaki shop… It’ll be nice to eat something hot,” Selena mused quietly, mentioning Jakob but not looking up at him.

“Perhaps if it gets a bit colder. I… don’t have too much gold left.”

“Well, then, I can buy one of these and I’ll have enough for both of us, though you should definitely chip in,” Selena smiled, making a specific point.

Jakob chuckled at her statement. “Of course.”

Selena noticed the shopkeeper giving them an… interesting look, but she was more interested in the merchandise than the person, so she passed it over.

There were a few necklaces, though nothing special. There was one with a feather emblem that reminded Selena slightly of her mother and Ylisse, but she didn’t feel any sort of special attachment to it.

The next item that she passed her eyes over made her heart flutter. Two small hair clips, probably for holding bangs back, that were shaped in the form of wings: nearly identical (save their properties and function) to the hair accessories that her mother wore (and probably still wore currently). They were absent of jewels, making the price fairly reasonable, and were dainty, cute, and something that Selena would absolutely snatch up. Not because of the emotional connection or anything, but because she could use something to hold her bangs back sometimes. Obviously.

However, it was just too much for her to afford. She kicked herself slightly for having spent so much on clothes, however much she had needed them. She ran a finger over the wing imprint, sighing to herself. “Oh well, I guess that’s that…”

“Selena?”

Selena shook her head and straightened up. “I guess I just don’t have enough gold to buy anything, which is a shame. I guess I can head back here some other time with more money.”

The shopkeeper dipped her head, a smile on her face. “You can come back any time! My shop is always open to travelers.”

Selena smiled and waved her hand, feeling the drop of disappointment hit her chest. It couldn’t be avoided, she figured, as she was pretty hungry and needed some kind of energy. “Come on, Jakob, I’ll show you where the stand is.”

She stopped, noticing that Jakob hadn’t moved from his position, staring off into space. “Jakob!” She waved her hand, snapping him out of his daydream or whatever. “Come on. We don’t have too much time left. We shouldn’t waste it.”

“…Of course.” Selena turned back around, walking forward as she tried to retrace her steps from earlier, vaguely remembering that the shop was near a hat stand. Maybe scarves were sold there too, but Selena preferred to buy clothing from shops.

“Ah, there it is.” Selena crossed her arms in victory as she gazed upon the grill, takoyaki still being prepared. “Jakob, you see it?” After no reply, Selena turned, wondering if she had left him behind, before seeing him purchase some knitting needles from the scarf stand. “Ah.”

“You were saying, Selena?” Jakob prompted as he adjusted his bags of items. “Oh,” he noted while leaning forward, “the selection of spices here is quite marvelous.”

“Well, we’re here for the food,” Selena stated as he straightened back up. “I got some already, so you don’t need to worry.” She turned to the stall worker and ordered a few things for herself and Jakob. “You’d prefer Nohrian style, wouldn’t you?”

“I suppose that would be best for now,” Jakob answered slowly. She herself ordered some Hoshidan flavored food, wondering if the style would be anything like how Ylisse prepared its food.

The food was pretty hot, so Selena waved it out in the air for a few seconds. “Well, I suppose this will be interesting to-“ She looked up as Jakob bit into his own food before quickly turning around. Selena sighed and shook her head. “I told you it was really hot.”

“… I didn’t… Expect it to be this hot…”

“Well,” Selena huffed, not altogether rudely, “I guess you’ll just have to suffer a burned tongue now.” She held back a laugh as Jakob whined lightly. Takoyaki was pretty hot after all, but she didn’t feel _too_ sympathetic for him.

“Ah, did I not mention that the product requires to be cooled slightly…?” The stall manager spoke up with a wary tone and Selena waved her hand.

“You said, I’m just dealing with a first rate fool.”

“What would your own rank be then, Selena? Second rate?”

Selena almost responded that she was first rate at everything, but caught herself before she could embarrass herself. “Ha! First rate at not being a fool, maybe.”

Jakob laughed to himself before finishing the takoyaki, having no reason to avoid the heat as he was already burned.

After moving away from the stalls and arriving near a relatively quiet section of the town, Selena brushed off the seat of the snow-covered bench in front of the equally frozen fountain before sitting down, going through her bags to check and see that everything was accounted for. “Scarves… Spices… mittens… other clothes…”

“I’m surprised you have enough space for your purchases, Selena,” Jakob mused before sitting down next to her to perform the same sort of check.

“I’m an expert at shopping,” Selena smirked. “Of course I’d be able to manage my space to maximum efficiency.” Silence spread between the two for a few more minutes as the checks were completed. “I hope Kaze is fine with this shade of blue. It’s slightly lighter than his other scarf.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine with whatever you get him,” Jakob assured her, rather uncharacteristically. “Kaze is the kind of person who would accept anything without complaint.”

“You and Kaze talk often?” Selena questioned as she set her bags to the side, leaning back on her arms while looking over at him. “I know you both are around Lady Kamui a lot, but neither of you are the talkative type.”

“Kaze wishes to be Lady Kamui’s retainer and, as her retainer, I have elected to educate him in that regard,” Jakob explained coolly. “And I am indeed the talkative type. As long as the person I am talking to is worth my time.”

Selena sighed. “You’re always so cold to other people. I don’t know what Flora was saying when she said you were improving…”

“Lady Kamui has also said those words,” Jakob mused, mostly to himself. He looked over at Selena. “What if I really had improved, Selena? What would you say to that?”

“Well,” Selena huffed, looking away and crossing her arms, “if you think you’ve improved, then good for you. Haha, I suppose we’re not going at each other with blows anymore, so I guess that’s also an improvement.”

“I don’t recall ever hitting you.”

“Not physically, save training, though we certainly had a fair share of verbal spars.”

Jakob seemed to question his own personal improvement for a few minutes as Selena watched a few snowflakes fall through the air. It was still fairly bright, though the air had chilled slightly. The residents had warned that there was to be a snowstorm later, so Selena had wanted to get home before that. She wasn’t _not_ used to blizzards, but she didn’t want to be snowed out of their astral realm and, by extension, Nohr. Jakob had also agreed with her.

“I guess…” Jakob paused, watching Selena’s reaction. She didn’t signal that she would reject his inner thoughts, so he turned and continued. “I know that my interactions with others left a lot to be desired, though I didn’t desire anything from them. They weren’t Lady Kamui, so they didn’t matter to me. We would part ways after the war, maybe even sooner, and that would be that.” He paused. “The only person that has shown me kindness was Lady Kamui after all, so what would be the point of interacting with others that didn’t show you kindness?” He sighed and rubbed his temple. “I was only looking into a mirror. If you don’t show others kindness, of course you won’t get any in return.”

“I didn’t show you kindness at first, but you didn’t…” Selena sighed, biting her tongue in thought. “You didn’t completely hate me. I wondered if you were an entirely cruel person in those moments. Though, sometimes your actions did leave a lot to be desired.”

“Lady Kamui said that, as a result of my upbringing, the meanings of kindness and friendship had become warped for me,” Jakob explained slowly. “To compare it to you, perhaps your sense of security and closeness has become compromised.”

Selena tilted her head, confused. “What do you mean by that?”

“You…” He paused, giving off an air of nervousness. “You refuse to become close to others. You lost a lot of people you loved after all, so that kind of conclusion is not unexpected, but…” He paused. “Or rather, despite that… You have made friends here.”

“Well, I’m not going to just be mean to people,” Selena said, brushing her bangs out of her face, feeling the snowflakes cling to the strands. “It’s not like we talk about anything really important though, except Odin and Laslow. Not really.” She sighed. “Maybe with Lady Kamui, and slightly with Lady Camilla, but how can I tell them about what happened to me? I don’t… I don’t need that pity.”

“Then why have you told me?”

Selena breathed in, blinking a few times in stunted confusion. _Ah, that’s right… I’ve told him about my past, my parents… Even my friends. My previous life._ She felt her pulse quicken in a mixture of nervousness and anxiety. _If I’ve gone that far…_ She laughed with a quick, nervous till, and waved her hand in a thin dismissal. “W-well, obviously, I had t-to… to help you with your own issues because, obviously, I can’t have you going around…… uh.” She paused to reconsider her words. “Can’t have someone in the army being… uh…” She rubbed her head and looked away, pausing for an extended period. “I…” She breathed out. “I don’t know…”

She looked back, hoping that the flimsy excuse (or whatever that was) had been enough. Jakob’s expression seemed to change from light inquisitiveness to a small, comforting smile. “Sometimes what the heart thinks is not what the brain thinks. Though,” he stood up and grabbed his merchandise, “perhaps you should indulge in some introspection once in a while? Hm?”

Selena blushed while stiffening. “I-is that an insult? I’ll have you know that I know myself pretty darn well!” She grabbed her bags with a rough motion and stood up, trying to wipe away the redness from her cheeks.

“Haha, of course you do, Selena.” Jakob stood up and grabbed his own items. “Perhaps… It is not a completely bad thing to have other… friends. People I can talk to.”

Selena huffed, still not facing him. “Well, if you consider me a friend, I guess I can’t deny that label.”

The walk back toward the portal (or where it would be when Lilith opened it anyway) was rather quiet, but not in an entirely bad way, Selena mused. There seemed to exist a better understanding between the two of them, though Selena still felt like something was slightly off. Whether it was her own stubbornness or his lack of people experience, she couldn’t know. It didn’t matter too much though, most friendships she had always contained a slight trace of abnormality.

The temperature had dropped a few more degrees, and Selena adjusted her scarf again. It was going to be a cold night for the villagers. Good thing she had purchased scarves for Beruka and Kaze in case it was going to be cold in the astral realm as well, though their scarves were usually more for a different kind of functionality, Selena mused.

A tree dropped some snow from its branch to the side and Selena turned her head to watch the flakes scatter in the air, reflecting sunlight. “I say we have about… three, four more hours of light. Good thing we’ll be gone by then…”

Jakob paused in his tracks before rummaging through his bags. “Oh no…”

“What?” Selena turned and watched him grab a list and run over the items.

“I dropped a number on the request of salted pork…” Jakob sighed out.

“What now?”

He stuffed the list in his pocket and handed his bags to Selena, save one. “Emergency rations. We ran out of them during the sail, so Lady Kamui tasked me with restocking…” He turned, paused, and turned back again. “You should probably keep on going. If Lilith opens the way before I get there, tell her that I’ll be back soon. I would go with you, but this is important enough for me to go back…”

“Well,” Selena crossed her arms, bags weighing them down, “if salted pork is really that important to you, then go ahead and get them.”

“Oh, I hate it,” Jakob smiled. “I’m doing it for Lady Kamui. And by extension, the army I suppose.” He waved his hand in dismissal before disappearing through the trees, the snow blanketing any available noise.

Selena sighed and looked upward toward the tree line. “Oh well, I guess I’ll continue on. Jeez, what the heck did he buy? These bags are heavy!”

The silence continued for a good while as Selena followed the previous tracks that lead back to where they had appeared. The snow hadn’t really melted at all, Selena noticed, but it hadn’t snowed any more, so it wasn’t difficult at all to track herself. She wasn’t bad at tracking anyway, as she had to do it in the past when she, Lucina, and everyone else needed to eat something, though Yarne was usually better. He wasn’t scared of animals at least, though bears were another issue.

She laughed to herself, thinking about all of the things she and her friends had done over the years. Certainly, times had been better when they were younger, but even in the future past there had been times when they could forget that they were living in an apocalypse. Morgan helped sometimes, but usually it was Cynthia and Odin who did wild things.

She paused and placed a hand to her chest. She missed them.

“Ah, I suppose I really do have to go home, don’t I?” While Selena would miss everyone here of course, the longing she felt for her friends was stronger. Maybe it was obvious, but Selena would bank on that obviousness.

“Ah, I’m only a little distance from the portal.” Selena looked to the sides, making sure that no one was in the area, before setting down her bags and taking a few steps away from the ‘beaten’ path. She scooped up a handful of the powdered snow, making sure that it wasn’t going to melt through her mittens, before scattering it through the air, watching it reflect the light as the flakes floated down to meet their brethren. She threw up some more snow a few more times before twirling around, pretending for a moment that it was snowing again.

If she tried hard enough, she could imagine that she was back in her own world.

A sound interrupted her daydreaming and Selena turned in the direction. She paused. “Hm, was I imagining that…?” Maybe there was a strange bird making strange calls.

Another sound, and Selena could sense that it was the sound of a few kids screaming. It didn’t sound like it was out of fear, but it was of a tone that Selena could deduce only came from a stressful situation. She turned back, quickly grabbed her bags, and ran off in the direction of the screams.

She skidded to a halt as she noticed the wide expanse of a frozen pond, or maybe even small lake, in front of her, watching as about five kids ran back and forth in front of the solid bank. They clearly didn’t want to travel onto the ice and pairs of discarded ice skates littered the side of a tree. Near the middle of the lake was a girl stranded on the ice. Selena could see that there was water behind her instead of ice. It seemed that the ice was thinner near the center of the lake.

If nothing happened, the girl would likely fall into the water and freeze to death. It was still freezing cold after all, and the water would only make it quicker.

Selena looked around with an air of necessity, noticing that a tree had a long, low hanging branch. She ran over to it and unsheathed her sword. One of the kids turned around, noticing that there was someone else in the area. He stood up and ran over to her, though Selena didn’t need much prompting.

She hacked away at the base of the branch, pulling it and twisting it to help her process go faster. The boy reached up to the branch and helped pull it down, along with a girl who had also noticed. After the branch snapped down, Selena hacked away at the smaller offshoots, scattering pine needles across the snow. “Ok…” It didn’t take too long, but the air of urgency was still hanging around.

“Please! Please save our friend!” The girl who had helped Selena had tears running down her face. No doubt the kids knew how dangerous cold water was in the winter.

“Don’t worry, that was my plan,” Selena muttered, not unkindly, as she made her way to the frozen bank. She touched the ice with her boot before setting the branch down and taking off her heavier coat, leaving the thinner one on. She could stand to lose the extra weight; the branch was only about eight feet long.

The ice was thick enough for her to make about a third of the distance to the girl without much trouble. The girl was crying rather loudly, of course, and Selena knew that one misstep on the girl’s part could send her drowning. “Can you listen to me please?” Selena prompted.

The girl sniffed and wiped her eyes. She was on her knees, her skates still on her feet. “Y-yes… Help me please! I’m scared!”

“I know, I know, I’m coming for you.” Selena edged forward ten more feet, noticing that the ice was thinner. “Can you tell me your name please?”

“M… Marigold…”

“Ok, Marigold,” Selena shuddered internally, “I need you to lean on your hands and knees, ok? I need you to distribute your weight so that you don’t crack the ice. Can you do that for me?”

“Ok…” The girl sniffed, wiped her eyes, and leaned down, making sure her hands and knees were an equal distance apart. She couldn’t have weighed that much, but Selena still needed to go quickly.

She edged forward, almost close enough for the girl to reach onto the branch, but this would be the hard part. Selena had to either drag the girl away (risky, the ice could break, and Selena didn’t want to compromise the both of them), somehow throw the girl away from the ice to a thicker part (also risky, not to mention hard), or somehow switch places (thus, sending herself into the water instead). “Well, I guess that answers it…” Selena bit her lip, ice thin beneath her feet.

She edged forward a few more feet, ice creaking, and Marigold grabbed onto the branch with her hand, causing the ice under her left knee to crack, and she whimpered.

“Ok… Get ready to grab the rest of the branch…” Selena edged forward a few more inches, noticing that the ice beneath her own feet was starting to splinter. She would have to move and fast.

“It’s going to break!” Marigold whined, gripping onto the branch in fear.

“Not yet.” Selena took a breath, shoved down her nervousness, and lunged forward, hooking Marigold fully on the branch, before turning with the fierceness of a lion, throwing Marigold, and by extension the branch, away from the cracking center of the lake. She landed a distance away and slid across the ice. Her friends scurried onto the ice, grabbing their friend.

 _Ah good, she’s safe…_ The ice cracked beneath Selena’s feet, her weight too much to bear. She looked down in fear, her heart plummeting to her chest. The edge of the ice was only a few feet from her position.

She looked up, watching as the children’s expressions morphed from one of relief to one of fear.

The ice collapsed from beneath Selena’s feet, sending her into the cold abyss of the lake.

 _Oh gods, this is cold…_ She enjoyed a few slim seconds of bodily warmth before the water soaked through her clothes. She tried to move around and somehow get back to the surface, but the weight was just too much for her to bear and she felt herself slipping farther from both the surface of the lake and the surface of her consciousness, arms and legs weighed down, barely able to move to save herself. Her breath escaped from her lungs and she struggled not to inhale water.

_Gods… Naga… save me…_

Before she succumbed to the cold (which seemed rather welcoming, all of a sudden), she could hear a loud noise from the surface, terrified, at an abnormal pitch.

Her world became dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolololol
> 
> I was going to add something interesting here about Jakob, but I forgot what I was going to say.  
> Happy reading~


	12. Breathing Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)  
> did yall like that cliffhanger
> 
> So, if Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone has 76k words... Then I'm above that with 82k words at my current point (chapter fourteen). Sigh. Well, I guess if you like something, write for it.
> 
> Spoiler alert: selena lived.

Selena was faintly aware of a warm feeling near her head, though her hair was still rather cold, she noticed. Her head pounded with a beat of something completely unnecessary, and her eyes hurt with a sort of spikiness. Needless to say, she felt like crap.

 _Wow, did I get run over by a horse or something…? Left for dead in a showdrift…?_ She let herself continue to wake up, remembering that she had crashed through the ice of a frozen lake, sinking to its depths. At least she had saved the kid. And clearly she wasn’t dead, so it wasn’t for naught.

 _How_ am _I alive, though…?_ There was no way the kids could drag her up; they were terrified to begin with, and she had her coat on as well. No way they could hold up all that weight and then some.

Her head continued to pound painfully and Selena groaned, squinting her eyes open to a wall. She heard a shuffle next to her, but didn’t want to move to see what it was lest she anger her nerves more.

“How are you feeling…?”

“Trash…” Selena forced out, not wanting to move much. Her voice hurt slightly too, but it wasn’t nearly as painful as her head. “What… happened…?”

“You nearly drowned, and then you nearly froze to death, I suppose,” Jakob remarked with only a hint of sarcasm before moving again. “But you’re alive.”

“I can see that…” Selena mumbled, still feeling fairly cold despite being pinned in place by several wool blankets. She was facing a wall, though she seemed to be sleeping on some kind of elevated bench. She could hear a fire blazing with life behind her. “How…?”

“Well, I couldn’t leave you to drown, now could I?” Jakob replied with a thin tone. He was being much quieter than normal and Selena wondered if he too was freezing.

“Ah…”

“I suppose we both would have died, given enough time, had the parents of the girl not come to our rescue, along with a few more parents,” Jakob sighed, shifting. “The kids were smart enough to send someone to get help. We owe him our lives. I’m relieved that we didn’t reach a critical point, though, as we are both able to recover naturally from the injuries.”

“I’ll be sure to remember his sacrifice…” Selena sighed, still feeling tired from the experience of bodily strain again.

“Oh, good, you’re awake!” A feminine voice interrupted any more of Selena’s thoughts and she was immediately turned over and presented with a warm drink. She stared up at the woman’s face, thinking for a moment that she looked rather like Marigold.

“Thank you…” Selena wasn’t sure if she could lean up or anything, but she had learned how to drink things lying down. There were a bunch of weird skills that she had needed to learn as a soldier in the dark future. She sipped on the tea and a warm feeling ran down her throat and into her chest.

“We were so worried about you two, especially since your friend here,” the woman nodded toward Jakob, “decided to, rather stupidly I might add, try and drag you out of the water.” She sighed and shook her head, her shawl moving with the weight. “If it weren’t for us, you both would have died from asphyxiation or frostbite. Certainly,” she added with an air of awe, “you are both able bodied and neither of you were in the water for much more than a minute, but no one could survive being in frozen water for an extended period of time.”

Selena glanced over at Jakob with an air of questioning and he roughly turned away, embarrassed. “Ah. He followed me, huh?”

“What would Laslow and Odin do to me if I let you die, huh?” Jakob countered with a flimsy excuse. “Besides, we need everyone we can get.”

“If you say so,” Selena mumbled before taking another drink. “Is that why you’re sitting in front of the fire? Usually you’re deathly cold.”

“I was almost deathly cold, Selena, and so were you,” Jakob sighed in dismissal before turning as the woman offered him a drink as well. He accepted rather gratefully and Selena was almost surprised. Though, he had changed enough to where such an action wouldn’t be too shocking.

“Time sure flies, huh…?” Selena though out loud to herself.

“What?” Jakob questioned before sipping on the drink, looking at her through the corner of his eyes.

“Nothing.” Selena struggled to lean herself up before the woman pushed her down with a tender hand.

“I wouldn’t move around a lot. You nearly died of hypothermia, so you should allow your body to continue to regain heat…”

Selena coughed a few times and moved her head. “There’s no water in my lungs…”

“Oh, your friend…” The woman paused, trying to remember his name. “He used that magic staff and healed you. Somehow.”

“I didn’t know you could do that with a heal staff.”

Jakob shrugged dismissively, taking another sip. “You have to be ready for any situation.”

The woman sighed and crossed her arms at the wrists. “Well, I have some soup cooking. I’ll give you both some when it’s ready. I have to thank you for saving my daughter. I hope you both recover well.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine, Miss,” Jakob assured the woman with a light tone faintly covering slight annoyance. She dipped her head and exited the room.

Selena sighed and took another drink. “Well, I wasn’t thinking I’d add another near-death experience to my list outside of the war, but I guess what happens happens.” She looked over at Jakob and was surprised to find him frowning rather deeply, an anger present in his eyes. “What?”

“You don’t understand, do you?”

“What’s to understand?” Selena huffed, voice still quiet from the strain of talking. “I saved a girl and I almost drowned. There’s nothing more.”

“Your life isn’t expendable. No life is,” Jakob added, almost as an afterthought.

“Ha. That’s rich coming from you…” Selena muttered. “Aren’t you the one threatening to kill others for minor inconveniences?”

“That was then. This is now.” Jakob turned to face her, a hint of anger present in his eyes. “And I hardly wished death upon my fellow soldiers, just pain. It was an empty threat. You know that.”

Selena sighed and leaned back fully, resting her cup on her stomach, hands clasped around it to get warmth. “Someone’s apt to die, Jakob. That’s just how it works.”

“Don’t… Don’t dismiss your life so easily…”

“I never did.”

He let out a long, quiet sigh and shook his head, turning away. “I suppose you didn’t.”

Selena figured he didn’t want to talk about the subject anymore and let the silence hang over the pair for a few, awkward minutes.

“What specifically happened?” Selena prompted, swirling the liquid in her cup around. “I know that without the parents, we would have both frozen to death. Probably.”

“I jumped in to drag you out, but by the time I was able to get to you and back up to the surface, I was too cold to do anything much,” Jakob explained dully. “The children tried to drag us out with the branch, but the effort was ultimately futile. Then, the parents arrived and they were able to drag us both out.” Jakob sighed and, with his back still turned to Selena (rather infuriating), leaned on his hand with a tender motion. “I only remember using my heal staff to remove the water from your lungs. I woke up here, same as you.”

“Ah, the great Jakob, butler to Princess Kamui, fainted?” Selena teased with a light tongue. “Unbelievable.”

“Oh Selena, the mystical mercenary of Princess Camilla, fell into an icy lake and almost drowned?” Jakob snarked back. “Impossible.”

“Anything’s possible,” Selena responded with a quick tongue.

“Like what? Time travel?” Jakob drawled, leaning up and turning to look at her. “Some things are just impossible.”

“Anything’s possible…” Selena repeated with a hushed tone.

Jakob stared at her for a few more seconds as if to figure out what she had muttered, but eventually turned back to stare through the window on the other wall.

Selena sighed and struggled to sit up again after setting her tea cup to the side, grabbing Jakob’s attention. “You probably shouldn’t do that,” he muttered, but wasn’t motivated enough to stop her.

Selena huffed and moved the blankets down slightly to provide more mobility. “I can do what I want.”

“Yes? Your clothes are over there,” he said while nodding his head toward the side of the fire.

Selena paused. “I’m still wearing my coat. I’m fine.” She turned away, blushing with embarrassment.

“Well, you do you.” Jakob dipped his head once and sipped his tea, turning fully away.

Selena huffed with annoyance. It wasn’t like she could really walk yet, she was still slightly cold and her legs hurt regardless. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll just lay here like a limp rag doll and be completely useless.”

“Yes. Do that.”

Selena sighed again, resting her head against a small pillow. “I just don’t like being immobile. Surely you know the feeling?”

“I wouldn’t. I’ve never been sick enough.”

“Lucky you… Never injured that much?”

“Nope.”

Selena had been injured enough to be restrained to her bed for a few days at a time. It was never fun, though she figured it was better than dying in the long run. Thanks to Libra and Brady, along with Lissa and Maribelle, she hadn’t been permanently damaged. Though Elise was talented in the field of magic and Nyx and Flora seemed to be skilled as well, Selena wasn’t really looking forward to any large injuries. They hadn’t been trained in the art of healing for years. Elise was too young and Nyx was a mage after all. Jakob’s magic wasn’t very good, especially in comparison, and Felicia was rather klutzy. She shuddered just thinking about it.

Another hour passed before Selena could sit up fully and, by that time, she felt well enough to hold a proper conversation. After talking with the parents of Marigold for a few minutes, Selena ran a hand through her hair. She assumed someone had taken it out of the twintails, as it was easier to dry when it was all down (probably warmer as well), but it was pretty knotted. It would take Selena a while to get it all brushed out, and the prospect made her sigh aloud.

Jakob looked over from his seat, another cup of tea clasped in his hands. “What’s wrong?”

Selena sighed again, though more in dismissal, and let her hair fall from her fingers. “Nothing. It’s just going to take me a while to brush this all out once I get home.”

“I suppose it will.”

“What about you? Your hair’s down and tangled.”

“It’s only to be assumed, as we were both victim of the frozen water,” Jakob commented before taking a drink. “A butler never leaves unprepared,” he muttered while pulling a comb out of his chest pocket. “But I assume you wouldn’t have brought something so necessary for an excursion.”

“I don’t own a comb!” Selena huffed, crossing her arms. “Besides, do you think that tiny thing can conquer my hair? Ha! Even with a heavy-duty brush, it still takes me a while to do my hair. Perfection isn’t achieved in a minute, after all.”

“Of course, Selena.”

Selena sighed and ran another hand through her hair, catching Jakob’s attention again. “If you really want, you can borrow my comb. I wouldn’t want to hear you complaining, after all,” he added, almost quickly.

Selena sighed and let her hand hit her blanket-covered lap. “It’s no big deal. I can’t move my arms completely well yet either. I figure, after a night of rest, I’ll be good to go. Maybe in an hour or two, if I’m lucky.”

“Well then,” Jakob sighed in dismissal (or annoyance, she couldn’t tell completely) while standing up, setting his cup of tea to the side, “I guess there’s nothing else to it,” he finished while stretching in show.

“Nothing to what?” Selena muttered, looking at Jakob with suspicious eyes as he moved next to her, hands hanging in the air as he calculated his decision. She gasped, grabbing onto his shoulder with her free hand as he lifted her up from the bench-seat, swiftly moving her to the chair in front of the fire.

“You’re surprisingly light, considering everything,” Jakob commented snidely as he set Selena in the chair, making sure the blankets were still on her properly.

“W… Excusing that comment,” Selena huffed with a toss of her head, “what are you doing?”

‘Well, you can’t walk yet, right? Not without falling anyway, pity.” Jakob took her place on the bench, sitting down properly as opposed to lying down like she had. “Besides, Lady Kamui and I did this a lot, so it’s not foreign.”

Selena sighed, facing the fire and warmth. “Did what? Carried each other?”

“Sometimes I had to when she was suffering of fever,” Jakob added. “She was a sickly child for reasons that escaped me.” He paused, quiet. “Now that I know she was originally of Hoshidan blood, it makes more sense.”

“Then why aren’t…? Wait,” Selena paused, breaking off her sentence with a wave of her hand. “Never mind. I know the answer to that question…”

“If you say so.”

Anankos had changed their make-up after all, so he might have done something with their immune systems. Speaking of Anankos, Selena, Odin, Laslow, and Lilith would have to bring it up with Kamui eventually. She didn’t know how they’d be able to do it without breaking the pact, and Lilith didn’t want to evoke the curse, but they would have to do something eventually. Perhaps after the war was over. Selena didn’t want their army to have to worry about two enemies after all.

Lilith had once said that she sensed something on King Garon, something that had reminded her of Anankos, but Laslow had then mentioned that the king worshiped the dragon anyway. Selena didn’t know what to make of that, but she still didn’t trust the Nohrian King.

Selena jerked forward as she felt her hair move and pull on her scalp. “W-what the heck?”

“Oh, you didn’t guess it after all,” Jakob mused with a hint of mirth.

“I’m not a mind-reader!” Selena huffed before leaning back on the chair again, letting Jakob continue to brush her hair. “I didn’t know you were referencing how you brushed Lady Kamui’s hair.”

“It was hard for her to maintain, especially since she was such an active youth…” Jakob said while running a hand through a section of Selena’s hair. “I am her butler after all. It is but one of my duties.”

“When I was younger, I thought a butler would be bored of serving someone for their job. You seem to break that stereotype squarely in half.” Selena sighed, moving her feet closer to the fire and turning them. “Serving Lady Camilla hasn’t been bad of course, but I’m not all gung-ho about it like you are.”

“You have only served her for about five years,” Jakob amended with a terse tone. “It’s only to be expected that your bond isn’t as close as the bond between Lady Kamui and I.”

“I suppose…” Selena whispered, thinking about the relationship herself. Perhaps she hadn’t allowed to get close to Lady Camilla but superficially. She knew she would have to go back to Ylisse eventually; had that worked its way into her actions with the princess? She hoped it hadn’t, but the latter was more likely. Perhaps the same was with Beruka.

It was actually fairly comfortable to have someone else brush one’s hair, Selena realized with surprise. Cordelia had brushed her hair when she was younger, of course, but those memories had faded with the wear and tear of time, not to mention other, more important memories, had wormed their way into her conscious. She figured her father had done something like that too, but only if he really needed to, Selena figured with a small chuckle. She and Cynthia may have also done something like that too, but after Sumia had perished, Cynthia had cut her hair.

Selena grabbed at one of her locks, staring at it for a few seconds. She didn’t know why she kept her hair so long. Perhaps it was a testament to her life; she had lived long enough to have this much. Perhaps it was to keep a small bit of her mother alive, though the ring on her hand usually meant enough.

She paused. Ring. She looked at her left hand closer.

It wasn’t there.

It wasn’t too surprising that she hadn’t noticed it in the first place. She had rarely taken it off, so she wasn’t used to feeling the weight of it as someone else may feel a ring on their finger. She rarely ever took it off anyway, so she didn’t need to worry about looking at her hand to see if she was wearing it in the first place. This was still shocking, though.

“Jakob?” Worry worked its way into her tone, but she tried to keep her voice as steady as possible so that no one would get terribly frightened over nothing, relatively speaking.

“Yes? Am I being too rough?”

“N-no, it’s just that-“ Selena flushed. “No!” She shook the image of Niles out of her head. “I-I had a ring on my hand,” she continued, holding up her right hand. “Did you see it at all? Anywhere?”

Jakob paused and leaned back, looking around to gather his thoughts. “I doubt it fell off in the lake. You were wearing gloves after all. Perhaps it’s with our other items.”

“Oh, they got our things…?”

“Yes,” Jakob said while standing up and walking over to the grocery items. “They weren’t doing too well from the cold, but our foodstuffs are fine, so there’s nothing to worry about.” He leaned down and shuffled through a few of the bags, looking through his first before turning to Selena’s. “What does it look like?”

“It’s gold and silver with a small pattern embedded on it…” Selena clarified with a hint of worry to her voice. “Please find it…”

Jakob shifted his position, setting aside some of the bags. “It must be very special to you…”

“Yes… It was my mother’s wedding ring.”

He paused, reflected on her words for a second, and continued on. “Perhaps the girl’s mother put it somewhere. She was the one who assisted you after all…”

Marigold walked into the room, holding a cup of tea for Selena and noticed Jakob sorting through their things. “What are you doing…?”

“Oh, Marigold,” Selena sighed with relief and turned to face the girl, “I lost a ring of mine. Would you happen to know where it is? It’s gold and silver, with-“

“Oh!” Marigold smiled and lifted up her hand, finger pointed up in testament. “My mom put it on the table. She said it was very pretty.” Marigold handed the cup to Selena and smiled again. “I’ll get it for you! It looks expensive.” The girl hurried off to the other room and Jakob stood up with a strained sigh.

“Tired?” Selena prodded, feeling the warmth of the tea reach her palms.

“I am still recovering the usage of my limbs as you are,” Jakob sighed with a sad lilt, rubbing his lower back. “Though it is a relief that you haven’t lost that ring of yours.”

“If I lost it, I don’t know what I’d do,” Selena admitted with worry. “I know it’s just a small thing, hardly worthy to replace my mother, but…” She shook her head and moved her bangs, looking down at the cup. “Never mind. It’s not important.”

“It seems to be quite important to you. You needn’t say otherwise.”

Selena took a sip from the tea as Marigold brought the ring to her. “I want a ring like that someday when I get married.” The girl smiled as Selena slipped the ring on her right hand, careful not to spill the hot tea. Marigold watched Jakob shift back to his previous position and prepare to start again. “When did you two get married?”

“Huh?” Jakob and Selena both echoed at once.

“That’s a wedding ring, right? My mommy said it was.”

“Yes, but it’s…” Selena blushed and looked to the side quickly before turning back to the girl again. “It’s not mine, not like that. It was my mother’s, so I wear it in her honor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Marigold looked at Jakob, who seemed to also be blushing. “Are you two getting married?”

“Uh, not as far as I know, Marigold…” Selena stuttered, feeling the back of her neck heat up from embarrassment. “We’re… not like that...”

“Oh. So you’re like Lenny and me?”

“That would be…?” Jakob forced out as Marigold walked over to him.

“We’re best friends!” Marigold crossed her arms behind her back and smiled. “He’s the fastest runner, so he went to get my parents when I was stuck.” She giggled and sat on the bench, looking at Selena’s hair while kicking her legs in boredom. “Wow. I want my hair to be pretty like that when I get older.”

Selena would have ran her fingers through her hair if she hadn’t tucked her hand back into the wool blankets, still cold. “Thank you. I think your hair is already pretty.”

“Really?” Marigold giggled again and moved her hair to the side. “I bet your hair would look pretty in braids.”

“Well, I’m not done combing it yet,” Jakob finished, leaning forward with the comb in his hand again. “It would be annoying if one had a braid with knotted hair.”

“I don’t like it when someone else brushes my hair,” Marigold admitted, leaning forward and watching Jakob run the comb through Selena’s hair again. “But I like brushes more than combs.”

“There are advantages and disadvantages to both, yes,” Jakob continued. “Combs are easy to carry around, though, so that’s why I have one at all times.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Marigold chirped.

After a few more minutes of silence (it was hard for the pair of almost-victims of the freezing water to gather enough energy for the task, especially since Marigold was so young and inquisitive), Marigold decided to go off somewhere and do her own thing. Selena was almost relieved at the absence of the child, though she wasn’t a bad kid.

“You dealt with that rather well,” Selena mused as Jakob finished passing the comb through her hair.

He paused in his motion, leaning back. “What did you expect, pray tell?”

“Well, you hardly deal with adults with restrain, so I figured you wouldn’t have the scruples to do so with a child.” Selena yawned. “I guess I was wrong.”

“I’ve had to deal with some children in my time, especially when Lady Kamui, Felicia, and Flora were younger,” Jakob sighed with a light tone and started on Selena’s long hair again. If she knew better, she would say he was almost enjoying it… “Mozu was only just barely an adult when I met her; it’s been a while since she’s joined us, and Princess Elise is the youngest of us all.” He paused for a second, probably making some kind of face to compliment what he had said. “I am equipped to deal with a variety of people.”

“Maybe you have the tools, but do you have the experience to actually use them?” Selena added with a tease, laughing all the while.

“Ha! You only wish it was otherwise.”

By the time Jakob finished combing through Selena’s long hair, she felt warm enough to cast away the extra blankets, handing one to Marigold. She switched places with the butler, planning to return the gesture as she didn’t want to be owing him anything, let alone a favor.

His hair was generally straighter than hers, though Camilla and Charlotte held the position of curliest hair, save Xander. Selena was pretty sure that Donnel held the ultimate position, though, but no one save Laslow and Odin would know of that fact.

It was also decently long and the repetitive motions of combing eventually tired her arms. It was easier than her own hair at least; she got many more tangles on average than he had.

“Most people here have short hair,” Marigold had commented as Selena busied herself. “It’s easier.”

“Yes, that seems likely,” Jakob had answered. “We have the luxury of doing anything we want within reason.”

Selena had almost mentioned that they were fighting in a war, but decided not to ruin Marigold’s evening any more.

“We’ve gotten the soup ready!” Marigold’s mother exclaimed with an excited pitch, walking into the small area. “Do you think you two are able to sit at the table, or would you like to be situated over here?”

Jakob waved his hand and stood up. “It would please me greatly to partake in your evening meal.” He looked over to Selena who shrugged and tried to stand up as well. It was definitely not comfortable; her knees and feet didn’t seem to like obeying her brain, but with Jakob’s help, she eventually made it to the table and sat down comfortably.

Other than soup, there was some homemade bread available. Selena would have eaten it as well if she had anything resembling an appetite, but Jakob seemed to enjoy it enough. There were also a few small desserts available “for saving our daughter”, but Selena also turned those away. She was only wanting for energy anyway. She didn’t need any sweets.

“There doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage, so I’m glad,” Marigold’s mother expressed with relief. “Once we saved you from that water, I was so worried that you would give up the fight to live. Perhaps I underestimated you in that moment, hahaha!” She broke a piece of bread. “You’re must stronger than I anticipated.”

“W-well… thank you… I guess…” Selena blushed and took another drink of her soup to avoid talking more.

“You both are travelers, so my first assumption would be otherwise,” Marigold’s father spoke up. “We lose a few travelers each year to the cold despite everything that we do to prevent it.” He sighed, a long, sad noise. “Our children are able to counter the environment, but falling into a frozen lake spells death. Once again,” he dipped his head, “I thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving our daughter.” He looked over at her and smiled while Marigold hugged her mother. “I don’t know what we would do without her.”

“Yea right! You said you wanted a son!” Marigold stuck her tongue out in a childish display and her father ruffled her short hair.

“Only up until you were a year old at most, Marigold. You’re much better than any son I could have.”

“Well, I’m fine with having no siblings. All I want is a dog.”

“Well, we have a dog…” Selena muttered and Jakob sent her a side glance.

“What’s it like having a dog?” Marigold continued, an excited fervor entering her voice. “I know if I want one I have to get one with lots of fur so it doesn’t get cold and it can just eat meat and stuff, but what’s it like?”

“Well… he likes playing… fetch. And Frisbee… I think…” Selena looked at Jakob with nervousness. “Uh. He’s weird.”

“Even animals have distinct personalities,” Marigold’s mother admitted with a laugh. “They’re no less unique than us humans.”

“Ain’t that the truth…” Selena muttered before turning back fully to her meal.

After Marigold had been situated to her bed, her parents sat out by the fire with Selena and Jakob, checking over them a few more times and making sure that they hadn’t received any permanent damage. Selena was still having some problems walking, but she could feel herself getting better as the evening dragged on longer. Her hands were also fine; thank goodness she had been wearing gloves.

“I wasn’t too worried about either of you dying, but my wife certainly had other ideas,” her father chuckled as he was shoved to the side by his wife. “You two are strong youngins, so there’s no doubt you’ll recover, if not fully.”

“I would head back tonight if we were able,” Jakob mused, almost with a sad lilt. “No doubt our party is worried about our location. I hope they don’t organize a search.”

“If they send anyone here, it’ll be Felicia and Flora, and then we don’t need to worry,” Selena assured him with a sideways glance. They met gazes for a few seconds before Jakob looked away with an affirmative nod.

“You talk about being in a group a lot, but what do you mean by that exactly?” Marigold’s mother asked, leaning forward with curiosity. “You certainly can’t be a group of merchants, and you don’t seem completely suited for travelers…”

Selena gulped, nervousness trickling through her veins. Should they tell these people that they were part of a war? Certainly, her sword must have brought up a bit of confusion, but maybe they had just passed that off as merely an agent of protection.

“We are fighting a war where we come from,” Jakob said with an even air, making sure to let nothing be apparent. “We are soldiers of a king who does not care about his people any more, yet we must trek on to avoid the collapse of our kingdom. Our way of life.” His voice was light and Selena wondered, for the first time, if he was actually worried about Nohr in any way. The country certainly hadn’t treated him well; Kamui was his only reason for life.

Though, she supposed that Nohr was Nohr and Kamui was Nohr.

“You both are soldiers?” She looked between Selena and Jakob with questions in her eyes. Selena nodded. “It must be… hard…”

“It’s not too difficult,” Selena sighed, stretching her legs out. “There are tough challenges of course and sometimes the higher ups do things that we’d rather not have on our hands, but,” she shrugged, “it’s not like we can do much about that if we value our lives.”

She wouldn’t say anything about Anankos. If she wasn’t willing to say anything of that to even Kamui (a resolution that would probably change soon, no doubt), she wouldn’t tell any random person, even if they had saved her life.

“How many…” Her husband paused, leaning back, and the fire’s light flickered across his face, sending shadows on his cheeks. His eyes glimmered with a slight expression of judgement. “How many have you killed?”

Selena opened her mouth before closing it again. How would she know? She was so deep into blood, it cascaded over her head. At the very least, most of it was Risen blood, but there was also a fair amount of Grimleal. They were people too with things like families, wishes, lives. Things that made people human.

Before she could provide the parents with that sort of response, Jakob muttered his answer without any sort of refrain, tinged with the cold of uncaring. “Forty three.”

Selena froze. How would he even remember an arbitrary number like that? Though, her own count dwarfed that number by the hundreds.

Marigold’s mother closed her eyes and leaned her mouth on her clasped hands. “What a number… How…” She paused, making her voice light. “How can you sleep at night, knowing you’ve put that many lives, that many promises to an end?”

“Quite easily, actually,” Jakob muttered. “It was all in service to my Princess. If it is for her, I have no reason to let doubts and negative feelings dwell in my mind. I simply can’t.”

He looked at Selena for a second and she saw Cheve reflected in his eyes, pooled together with various other flections of fear.

 _Ha… A show of bravery and confidence, are we?_ It was hard for even Selena to sleep at night, and she knew that he had problems too.

The circles under his eyes some days reflected that.

“Well… I’m glad that you two are ok, at the least,” Marigold’s father stood up, expressing his mind. “Perhaps it is because you two are soldiers that you were able to survive with only minor setback. Though,” he stretched, “I wouldn’t try that again if I were you. You might not be able to make it a second time.”

“We won’t, you needn’t worry,” Jakob murmured.

The parents left them to the fire room after adjusting some ample sleeping conditions. Selena would take the bench while Jakob had mentioned he was fine sleeping on the floor as long as some blankets were available. They didn’t have an extra bed anyway and they would have felt uncomfortable taking Marigold’s room, especially since there was only the one bed. They had provided some more tea as well to assist them in sleeping. Selena figured she didn’t need the help much as she had slept in much worse conditions before, but she couldn’t reveal that to anyone.

Jakob had been silent the rest of the night, probably reflecting on how war dealt with people and things like that, though after Selena adjusted the blankets under her legs, she caught him looking at her with a distant face.

She sighed and leaned up, returning his stare. “Clearly you’re peeved about something. Have been all night,” Selena noted. She had easily picked up on his pauses, casual glances, and minute gestures riddled in each conversation. Jakob didn’t answer right away, turning to look in another direction, and Selena bit her lip. “You can tell me if you want.”

The sound of the fire crackling filled the silence as Selena waited for Jakob to answer, wondering if he would even take her prompting. She didn’t want him to stew about the whole event, the war and the incident, but if he wasn’t going to talk, she wasn’t going to force him. She took another sip from the tea, feeling her body slowly gain more warmth.

“I was… I was scared…” Jakob mumbled, nearly quiet enough for Selena to miss had she not been attentive enough.

“W…What…?” This couldn’t be about the war or Cheve.

“When I saw you fall into the water, I was scared…” Jakob clarified, voice still quiet, staring out into the darkness of the room. “I knew that it was dangerous, that the water was freezing. I didn’t want you to die.”

Selena’s mouth hung open slightly agape and her heart beat a little faster. It was entirely rare for Jakob to share feelings like this. She knew that the people in the army would be sad if someone died, of course, but for someone to share their own feelings about the subject… It was strange. Foreign, at least here and now.

“Despite warnings, I went in after you, as you should know,” Jakob muttered with a hint of bitterness to his voice. “Perhaps it was a stupid move, but it was better than seeing you drown.” He paused, probably gathering his thoughts. “As the children tried to pull us out with the branch, I thought for a second that…” He exhaled slowly, clearly frightened of sharing his inner thoughts. “I thought that I would like you to be the one to survive… Out of the two of us, given a choice…”

Selena tapped the side of her cup with her finger, letting the thoughts turn over in her head. “What about… What about Lady Kamui…? Her life is obviously more important than mine…”

“I don’t know what was going through my head. Perhaps it was the frozen water bringing out strange thoughts and dealings,” Jakob mused. “Though I do know for certain that I would also like to live.”

“I would like to stay alive too, Jakob,” Selena started with a hint of refrain, “but we’re in a war after all. Neither of us are guaranteed our lives. We have princesses to serve… Our lives are lower than theirs and we may have to give them up in an instant when prompted… We can’t cling to wishes and dreams and things of that ilk.”

“I realize that, Selena,” Jakob murmured with a sad tone. “My thoughts are tangled and it may take a while to sort them out.”

“Tangled? That doesn’t make any sense…”

“To you perhaps, though, due to my past as you have suggested, my thought processes work a little differently than others.”

Selena exhaled slowly before taking another drink, noticing that her tea was more than half gone. “You would know that I, of all people, would be able to understand how people are different.” She paused, swirling the tea leaves in her drink. “Perhaps that is a gift. Perhaps that is a punishment.”

“I would rather it be a gift for your sake.”

“I suppose anyone would wish for that.”

Jakob shot one last glance toward Selena, carrying a tone that she couldn’t recognize. She returned the glance, perhaps with her own emotions shining strongly. He turned over after a light sigh, resigning himself to sleep.

Selena spent a few more minutes drinking her tea, feeling tiredness course through her body, before setting the cup to the side and laying down, trying to make herself more comfortable.

They had said that Jakob was also not in a stable condition. It seemed strange for them to be so close to an event that would rip the life from their hearts, but she figured that it was also realistic.

_What would I do if Jakob died…? Would I be scared? Would I wish for my own demise?_

That was the confusing part of his confession. It could be chalked up to the freezing water and the heat of the situation, but she didn’t think, or even believe, that he could bring a thought like that to his mind without ‘Lady Kamui’ being in the sentence.

 _Are we…? No,_ Selena nearly shook her head, _there’s no way. I have to go home eventually. He also knows that. There’s nothing to it._

Despite the thoughts of worry and confusion flooding her eyes, she turned over and tried to get some fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm that ship tease tho  
> So, this chapter was the one I was working on when I was going through all of that stress, so I'm not completely happy with it, but I'm not upset at how it came out. It did its job and performed well.  
> I feel like things are finally starting to pick up. I'm at the point where things are really falling into place. Ye  
> Happy reading~


	13. History Breezes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I ever made a sequel to this fanfic, I'd like to somehow diss the babyrealms in it. Some kind of discussion on how raising a kid that's around the same age as you is stupid. Because it is. It's the one thing the fire emblem fandom can agree on. They never agree on anything.

The night hadn’t been too cold. Selena had slept decently enough, tempered by years of pinch napping. At least she could take advantage of that.

Jakob had seemed slightly cold during the night despite the fact that she was the one who had lived in a warmer environment, so she threw one of her woolen blankets onto his side, forgoing proper adjustment.

Her dreams had been filled with memories of the past, slightly tinged by events that had occurred in Nohr. There was nothing of note, but Selena figured she was lucky enough to even have them.

There had been a few times in her childhood when she had gotten cold enough to feel considerably bad, but her father had been around to care for her, so it was never a worry like it had been in this astral realm.

The morning came without much refrain. The snowstorm passed by the village sometime during the night, so Selena and Jakob were pretty much ready to go back to their astral realm by the time it was warm enough to take a step out of the house.

“Are you sure you two are ready to head back?” Marigold’s mother murmured as she helped Selena get her coat on, firelight flickering against everyone. “I’d rather you not strain yourselves too much. The snow will be very deep and your legs are still recovering…”

Selena waved her hand with a grateful smile on her face. “We’ll be fine. We have some healers in our group who are well versed with the cold, so we’ll be properly cared for.”

Marigold rubbed her hands together, leaning on the balls of her feet as she glanced about the small house. “Are you sure you can’t stay longer?”

Selena chuckled before patting Marigold on her head, much to the child’s annoyance as she batted Selena’s hand away. “We have a lot of things we need to do. We were shopping for other people after all and they need to receive their things.”

“Are you ever going to come back?” Marigold asked with an air of innocence as she held Selena’s hand over her head.

The mercenary looked toward Jakob, conveying sadness and slight pity. Jakob returned with a glance of his own before looking to the side.

They would never see the family again. That much was obvious.

“I don’t know, Marigold. I can’t predict the future after all,” Selena admitted with a falsely cheerful tone. “What happens will happen.”

The girl puffed out her cheeks in a pouting fashion. She seemed to look up to both Selena and Jakob for what they had done. Selena didn’t think it was that much of an amazement, but she figured that if someone had saved her from certain death at a young age, she would idolize them too.

“Lady Kamui is no doubt worried about us, along with her siblings,” Jakob said with an air of terseness. “It is best that we make our way back home now. We needn’t worry them more.”

“Well,” Marigold’s mother clasped her hands together and smiled for her daughter, “make sure you walk carefully. Don’t strain your legs.”

Selena nodded her head before patting Jakob’s shoulder. “I have a crutch anyway.”

“Haha, am I just a tool to you?”

“Absolutely.”

Marigold took another sigh before walking closer to Selena and hugging her waist. Selena awkwardly returned the gesture, but was happy at the prospect of someone appreciating her efforts. “I won’t forget you.”

“I won’t forget you either.”

As she straightened up, she caught Jakob looking at her with a blank expression. It was a lie. Selena was likely to forget the girl someday, though it was likely that Marigold wouldn’t.

Such was a travel in life.

The snow was deeper on the walk back. Jakob had no clue which direction the gate was in; their footprints from the previous day had faded in the sea of white, so Selena had to use her few tracking skills to navigate toward the general location.

Neither knew how far this house had been from the pond, but Marigold and her parents had given some basic directions, so they weren’t lost at the very least.

Selena and Jakob both paused as they heard a voice ring through the forest. It was faintly familiar, but the echoing through the trees threw off the origin. Jakob let a few seconds of silence clear the woods before speaking himself. “Well, we’re going in the right direction.”

The voice came forth again and Selena was able to faintly recognize it. “It’s Felicia.”

“Of course. Who else would throw themselves into such deep snow?” Jakob took a few steps forward and Selena figured that he had recognized her voice the first time; they had known each other for years after all.

It took a few minutes of searching and yelling on their part to guide Felicia, and surprisingly Flora, to their position. Felicia nearly faceplanted into the snow after being startled by their appearance, but quickly composed herself. “Everyone was worried sick about you! You were hours late and by the time we went out to search, there was a terrible storm! Everyone thought you had died or something…”

“Oh…” Selena murmured. She didn’t think that the camp would have presumed their decease, but she supposed that it would have been a logical conclusion to make. “Well, we’ll tell you what happened once we get back. I need to bring warmth back to my skin…”

Felicia nodded with a smile and gestured to Flora. “You two look really cold. What even happened? J-just the basics of course…”

“Selena stupidly fell through some ice so I had to save her since watching her drown would not have been a good use of my time,” Jakob shot out with a blunt tone, sending shivers through Selena’s spine.

“Wow, have some tact.”

“It wasn’t a lie at least,” Jakob smiled to Selena, and she bit her lip in annoyance.

Flora glanced between the two of them for a few seconds before turning her back, leading them on their beaten path. “I’m glad you two are ok, though it seems like Selena is limping.”

“It’s just my legs,” Selena admitted. “I’ve never been that cold in my life, yeesh.”

Felicia nodded her head and began helping Selena through the deeper drifts. Jakob traversed through the snow fine, so Flora left him to that.

The portal was fairly small, just enough for Flora to wave her hand through it, signaling Lilith that they had returned, and the dragon opened the portal wide enough for the group of four to step through. It sealed behind Selena with a snap.

She felt her heart carry a bit of sadness at the motion, but she inhaled slowly, glad to be back in the heat. She slowly took off her coat with Felicia’s help before Camilla and Odin slammed into her, hugging her with the fierceness of a dragon. “Oh darling, I was worried sick about you! When you and the butler didn’t return, I feared the worst!”

Odin bawled into her shoulder and Selena felt a spike of annoyance, but let him continue his melodramatic show. “Laslow and I feared that we would have to carry the news of your decease back to our world! But! The gods have shined on your future, and you have returned safe!”

Selena sighed and patted Odin’s shoulder. “I’m fine.” The dark knight pulled back, a smile on his face.

“To that I am glad!”

Selena hugged Camilla for a few more moments before the princess pulled back and wiped her eyes, makeup unmarred. “I’m relieved that nothing happened to you, though you certainly have to provide an explanation as to why you two didn’t show up in time. Even Kamui’s darling maids couldn’t find you, and they’re from the ice tribe.”

“Well…” Selena trailed off, looking toward Jakob who was currently enveloped in a hug with Kamui, Gunter standing behind him. The princess was sobbing, and Selena could have sworn that she saw Jakob doing the same. Gunter’s eyes were dry.

Camilla followed her gaze and smiled. “Well indeed.”

Selena gazed at Camilla with an air of confusion before she pursed her lips. “It’s not that big of a story, though I’ll wait until Lady Kamui’s done before I start. She’ll want to know too.”

. . .

Kamui clasped her hands over her mouth as Selena described the sensation of falling through ice into a freezing world. “Oh! That must have been terrifying.”

Laslow rubbed his head, passing fingers through his hair. “You’re lucky you didn’t die.”

His unspoken words of Ferox pulsed through Selena’s mind, but she got his implication the same and shot him a look of comfort.

“After that, I jumped in after her,” Jakob continued, before adding on how he ‘had to’. Camilla chuckled at his continuation and nodded her head.

The story of the young girl seemed to touch Kamui, and she added that she was more than fine with them taking over time at another realm if it was to save an innocent life. Selena didn’t know how far that would extend in the future, but she figured it was good enough now.

“Well, we have to march tomorrow. I’m sure Iago will be making some kind of check up,” Kamui sighed as she stood up and brushed off her skirt. “I’ll leave you two here, though. You seem to have problems walking completely normally and I want you to recover before we reach Mokushu. Just in case,” she added with a dour look.

Jakob nodded his head. “I understand, Lady Kamui.”

Beruka looked to Lady Camilla. “Do you request my assistance?”

Camilla nodded. “While I would be more comfortable if you were making sure Selena didn’t get into trouble, it may be necessary that your axe be put to use.”

“My lance is also available.”

Camilla smiled, and Selena wondered just how far Beruka had gotten into smithy work. “Of course it is. I wouldn’t consider leaving it out.”

The listeners of the story slowly stood up and exited one by one until only Odin and Laslow remained. Jakob cleared his throat and stood up as well. “If I am to remain here, I may as well busy myself with cleaning Lady Kamui’s room.” He bowed to the other retainers and left the tent.

Selena sighed as he left, letting the event turn through her mind again. She couldn’t remember or not if she had thanked him for saving her. She may as well tell him again; he would hold it over her head if she didn’t, obviously.

She looked up to find Laslow and Odin sending covert looks to each other and she huffed and crossed her arms, leaving her legs still. “What is it?”

“Uh… We really were scared that we’d have to go back home and tell… your parents that you had died in a foreign land… Not to mention everyone else,” Laslow admitted and clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly. “Lucina would have…” He shook his head. “Not even mentioning Cynthia, Gerome, Kjelle… Brady…”

Selena shook her head and waved her hand. “At least you could have told them that I was saving a girl from drowning. That would have just wrecked Brady though, haha, he would have cried all night…” She trailed off, thinking of that aspect for more than just a few seconds.

If any of them died, how would they break that to everyone? She hadn’t needed to think of that prospect, but now that Odin and Laslow had been presented with that future, she had to also consider the possibility.

“Yes. He would have. Because he, like everyone else, cares about you, Selena,” Laslow continued with an even tone.

“Everyone cares about you two as well,” Selena pointed out with a flick of her wrist. “I’m hardly unique in that aspect.”

Odin sighed and leaned back, dropping his persona again. “It’s war after all, Laslow. Anyone could die.”

Laslow’s expression dropped and a sad gaze entered his eyes. “Yes… I am aware…”

“Stupid dragons controlling the fate of a stupid world…” Selena muttered.

“We’ll have to tell Lady Kamui eventually,” Laslow continued. “Something like this can’t be kept a secret forever.”

“The only way to bring Anankos forth would be to conquer Hoshido, though,” Selena sighed. “Once Nohr gets Hoshido, he’ll come forth to try and control the world. That’s the only way to truly get rid of him…”

“If only there was another way,” Odin lamented with a sigh. “Dragons are altogether too grabby.”

“You got that right,” Selena chuckled.

“Once that’s all over and done, I doubt King Garon will let ‘good enough’ be gone,” Laslow muttered, leaning forward again. “He’ll want to take control again. I don’t know if seeing that dragon will change his mind, so we can’t count on that. Nohr is not the best country to take down Anankos, but we have to work with what we have. After that, then what? What do we do about everything?”

“Let Prince Xander take care of it of course,” Selena huffed. “He’s ten times the man his father could ever hope to be. Once he’s on the throne, he’ll get rid of the likes of Iago and Hans and we can smooth out whatever tensions the nobles will have about the situation.” She shrugged as Odin and Laslow shot her a look. “I don’t know if they like Garon or not, but they should like Xander more, right?”

Laslow shrugged as well. “While milord is certainly a force to behold, the nobles of Nohr are hardly so cut and dry. I’ve had to interact with some of them during the times that milord has been unable to show. While their influence of intelligence is laughable, they have enough money to sway the outcome of Nohr.”

“The money is in the hands of the rich, then,” Odin huffed. “No wonder the middle and lower classes are struggling.”

“It’s not like the nobles will help them either,” Selena noted. “Really, if Nohr loses this war… It’s all over.” She felt a pang of guilt. The outcome wouldn’t affect her as long as she survived. She had a stable home to go back to. Everyone else would have to deal with the results of this war for the rest of their lives.

Laslow and Odin seemed to be thinking the same thing, though Laslow seemed to be more upset about it than Odin did.

“I should probably visit Felicia and Flora for a comprehensive check up,” Selena sighed while pushing herself up off of the chair, making sure she didn’t roll her ankle or anything in the process. “They said I would heal fine, but it would probably be better if I had them look over my legs again. Or something…” she added on with a huff.

Laslow nodded his head and stood up and the pair left Odin in the tent to pour over some more history tomes. The mage had been more interested in learning about the world than Laslow and Selena had and sometimes his knowledge had come in handy. Other times, he just used it to make more attack names. Selena sighed at the prospect and shook her head.

Niles was in the medical tent as well, getting some practice from Elise on how to use a heal staff properly. She shuddered as his magic sputtered. She wouldn't want him to heal her at least. She wondered for a second why Kamui decided to reclass him to an adventurer instead of a bow knight, as high movability would certainly be useful for him, but she figured that Kamui wanted more backup. Elise was incredible with her magic of course, but more wasn’t bad either.

Jakob was apt to be reclassed sometime as well; his magic wasn’t nearly as potent as Niles’ was, though he had experience.

Flora straightened up from her seat as she laid eyes on Selena. “Oh. Is there something…?”

“I just figured a full checkup would be better than just assuming everything will heal on its own,” Selena explained with an even tone before sitting down on the available cot. “I don’t feel pain or anything, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Flora shook her head slowly, eyes a rather dull color. “No, it’s fine.” She walked over to Selena after grabbing some mild equipment and began feeling her legs for strain and torn muscles.

While a staff would have gotten the job done quickly, Leo and Elise had wanted the army to keep as many available as possible; the war would be hard and they may not be able to afford any later. Selena didn’t mind too much; Flora’s hands were cool to the touch and she seemed to be adept in the realm of healing.

After a few more moments, Flora leaned back and forced a small smile. Why, Selena couldn’t guess. “You seem to be doing fine. I wouldn’t worry about your recovery rate, though I suggest that you don’t push yourself for a day or two. After that, as long as you can keep your feet light, you should be fine in battle.”

Selena nodded her head and stood up, using Felicia (who had showed up a few minutes prior) for balance. “Would you like me to get Jakob? I’m sure he needs some kind of look-over too. He’s just too stubborn to come on his own…”

Felicia nodded and smiled. “Yea, that would be for the best. If he’s too tired, I can take his place and clean for Lady Kamui.”

Flora shook her head. “No, Felicia.” Felicia wilted.

Selena figured he would still be in Kamui’s room, tidying up whatever the princess had done in the past few hours. She wondered how much Kamui had worried for them. Everyone else seemed to be worried of course, but she seemed to grasp that she couldn’t worry too much for any one person in particular as she could lose them at any time.

There hadn’t been any casualties yet, but Selena wouldn’t hold her breath.

She wondered if she should tell the leader that there was a dragon behind all this. She was part dragon anyway. It wouldn’t be farfetched. Though, they had been sworn to secrecy, and there was apparently some kind of curse that belonged with it? Garon had used Anankos’s name once, though, so she figured it was only tied to the land.

If Anankos came to this continent, they wouldn’t have to worry about the dragon’s homeland.

The door to Jakob’s room was locked. It was unlikely that he was in there then, as he would never lock his door on Lady Kamui. She could pick the lock of course (it would take a few minutes, but she could), but there was no point. Gunter’s room was empty, so she figured Jakob would probably be in Kamui’s room. He had no reason to go into one of the few closets after all.

The princess’s door was slightly open, but Selena couldn’t hear anything that would signal movement. Setting her jaw, she pushed it open, noticing that there were no candles lit, but the sunlight streaming through the small window provided enough visible light.

Jakob was sitting on the floor, almost seiza style, but he wouldn’t know of that. Selena squinted her eyes and noticed that he was holding one of Kamui’s various hair accessories. Recently, she had taken to wearing a white rose, but she owned a butterfly and a pin among others.

She stood in the doorway for a few moments, debating whether she should do something or not, before slowly walking over to him, making sure that she made enough noise to avoid startling him or something. Jakob seemed to acknowledge her presence, so she leaned down and sat next to him.

“Life is so… fragile…” Jakob muttered, almost to no one. “If even someone like you can die… Even if someone like myself can die… Then there is no guaranteed that Lady Kamui will survive…”

Selena didn’t know how to comfort him exactly. She couldn’t spout false truths that Kamui would easily survive the war because she was just that kind of person. While she was part dragon, in some way, even dragons could be defeated. Nah’s mother had died after all; though, so had everyone else in that future.

“I wonder… Is there any point to this fighting…? Is there a peaceful way we can end this war…?” He let out a long sigh.

Selena then wondered if anyone else thought like this. She, Laslow, and Odin were holding a vital piece of the puzzle, but they couldn’t tell anyone. Even then, Garon had everyone on a short leash. They had to fight, for more reasons than one.

Selena slowly touched his shoulder, letting him acknowledge that she was going to make a response. “War is just like that. Sometimes it seems hopeless, and the people making the big decisions don’t have to be on the front lines. But we’re pretty lucky here. We have strong… smart people here.” She paused. “Sure… It will get worse. I won’t hide that from anyone. When we get into Hoshidan territory, it’s… going to be bad. But,” she finished with a small smile, “that doesn’t mean we have to lose hope. One event doesn’t collapse a world.”

Jakob shook his head slowly, considering his own answer. “Perhaps it can. Even small things cast ripples.”

She recognized the quote from Azura. The songstress was fond of making small adages that related to water. Selena leaned back as Jakob straightened up before standing, looking in the opposite direction. “I should get back to my work…” He quietly put the hairpiece back on Kamui’s dresser.

“Felicia sent me to get you for a checkup,” Selena continued. “I think it would be better if you didn’t work right now.”

“What do you propose I do, then?” Jakob countered rather harshly. “Let these thoughts continue to sour in my mind?”

“You can’t do much else. If talking to me hasn’t helped,” Selena continued, “then I can’t see much else working, unless you bring this up with Lady Kamui herself.” She took a step back as Jakob shot a look toward her direction. If he was feeling confrontational, she didn’t really want to be in the same room as him. She wasn’t in the mood for arguing.

“Perhaps I just don’t want to see the future unfold if something is going to be so terrible…”

“Well…” Selena shrugged, almost rudely, and crossed her arms. “We have to keep trekking forward.” He almost continued but Selena waved her hand in dismissal. “I feel like we’re just going to keep arguing and I don’t really feel like doing that. You should just go. You look tired after all.”

Jakob looked down toward the side, perhaps at something, but nodded. “I’ll head over there right away then…” He slipped out of the room, leaving the door ajar behind him.

Selena gazed across the dimly lit room for a few moments. She had been in here of course – various times. Kamui was always a welcome sight to sore eyes and her room was no different. It was fairly clean and tidy, but Selena didn’t really feel like poking around either. No one would appreciate that, especially Jakob. She slowly exited the room, casing one more glance around before shutting the door behind her.

After chatting with Beruka for a few minutes and Camilla for a few more, she passed by Odin and Laslow again. Odin had somehow scraped himself with a long branch and Laslow was busy juggling a tall stack of books.

“I would greatly appreciate it if you could fetch me some skin-sealing fabrics so that I may channel my inner energy to-“

“Whatever, I’ll get you some bandages,” Selena sighed, hands over her ears. Why he couldn’t do it himself, Selena didn’t know.

“Jeez, I just went to the medical tent half an hour ago…” She would have grabbed some from her room, but she had given them all to Flora and Nyx after the team at the surface had gone to rout bandits a few days ago. Hopefully they had more and if they didn’t, they would need to make or buy more. Too bad she and Jakob hadn’t had that on their list, though it was likely a village wouldn’t sell something like that.

She entered the medical tent without much motion. Nyx was teaching Jakob how to mix some salves properly. Since he would be reclassing soon, he wouldn’t be able to use staffs as much, so the mage was probably giving him some extra medical knowledge. He would have a basis to use it anyway.

“Oh, Selena!” Felicia nearly tripped over one of the chairs in the tent before straightening up. “Is there anything you need? Are your legs hurting?”

Jakob and Nyx turned to watch Selena shake her head with a sigh. “Odin hurt his arm doing gods knows what. He asked me to get some bandages.”

“Jeez!” Felicia pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “He should just come in here himself.”

“Seems the better option, but it’s not bad enough to inconvenience any of you,” Selena figured. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t cause any permanent damage.”

Nyx chuckled before passing Selena a bowl of crushed herbs, made pasty by water. “Have him try this out. If he’s foolish enough to hurt himself in this trying time, then he deserves to become a test of my experiment.”

“I’m not an experiment, Nyx,” Jakob huffed from the corner.

“Your talents are.”

Felicia passed Selena a few bandages and Selena juggled the cup of salve on top of them before heading over to Odin, throwing him the items, and returning back to the medical tent with the leftovers.

“So. Did he mention anything about a stinging sensation?” Nyx questioned, clearly interested only in how the salve worked instead of how Odin’s wound had been.

Selena shrugged rather rudely before sitting down in one of the available chairs. Jakob was still mixing away at some herbs, something akin to a glare on his face. Clearly he wasn’t getting along well with Nyx, but Selena didn’t care enough about it to inquire as to why. “He seemed fine. Odin is… more resilient than he looks. Even if a salve was causing him discomfort, he wouldn’t say so.”

“Hm, perhaps Charlotte would be a better subject?” Nyx suggested to Jakob, turning her head to look at the butler.

“Perhaps you should test it yourself?” He forced out of gritted teeth.

“At that rate, maybe you should try some,” Nyx sighed, standing up to her full (short) height. “You have some cuts on your hands that haven’t completely healed.”

Selena blinked before looking at Jakob and he shifted away to avoid looking at her. “They are fine.”

“I’m surprised you managed to cut your hands on ice, but if it’s you, you can do anything,” Nyx teased with her sharp tongue.

“You haven’t taken care of yourself?” Selena asked with a confused tone. She didn’t even know he had injured hands, though it wouldn’t be entirely unreasonable. He had been using the branch to pull himself out of the freezing water after all. She supposed it wasn’t entirely surprising.

“I have had other things to do,” Jakob explained with a steady tone. “Besides, my hands will not inconvenience me in battle,” he finished while turning to Selena with a masking smile.

Selena huffed before walking over to him and he stepped back. She paused at his reaction, but pushed her questions aside. She held out her hand, an exasperated expression surely making its way onto her face, and he slowly showed her the palms of his hands. There were some places where he had obviously worked out a few splinters (probably while they were recovering at the cabin; she had been asleep for a while after all), but there were some other cuts. They didn’t look too painful, but Selena knew that, oftentimes, hand wounds were more painful than other places.

“If you don’t take care of even small cuts, you can get infections,” Selena sighed before grabbing some of his healing salve. Like Nyx had said, he was as good of a subject as any. He seemed to shy away from the action and Selena chuckled. “Afraid of your own medicine?” Selena grabbed his right hand, pulling him slightly toward her.

“In both natures of the word…” Jakob muttered as she spread the salve across the edges of his palm. At least it would only take a day for the wounds to recover enough to avoid any mistakes and they were both stuck in the astral realm anyway.

“You better not take these bandages off before tomorrow,” Selena threatened as she began wrapping his first hand. “I’ll beat you.”

After needing to bandage a great many people in the future, Selena had learned various small healing practices over time. While she was hopeless with a staff, Brady had often thanked her for her small things. Though, he had added, she was complete garbage at comforting anyone.

“Oh no, I guess I’ll have to follow your divine orders then,” Jakob drawled as Selena finished his right hand. “Whatever shall I do otherwise?”

“You’ll follow those words if you know what’s best for you,” Selena teased before unraveling more of the bandage roll and starting on his other hand, grabbing more salve. “I’ll make sure that Lady Kamui keeps you on a short leash too.”

“I’m not her pet.”

“Really? That’s surprising,” Selena muttered as she slowly finished the process. After ‘tying off’ the bandage, she set aside the roll and patted his cheek a few times, much to his annoyance, and he flinched away. “Don’t do anything rash. You’ll suffer.”

“You sound like Niles,” Jakob sighed while rubbing his check with the back of his hand, looking at her through the corners of his eyes.

“Ha! We’re on completely different levels!” Selena laughed, hoping that the thief wasn’t in the area. He would surely tease her if that was the case.

“Any unnatural side effects?” Nyx inquired after Selena took a few steps back, setting the bandages in their rightful places. Flora shot the hero a look, but Selena had no clue what it meant. She ignored it.

Jakob paused for a few seconds, moving his hands around. “There does not appear to be any adverse effect, though perhaps it will show up in a few minutes depending.”

Selena shrugged dismissively. “Well, that’s that I guess. There are a few things that I should probably do to prepare. If I can’t march with everyone else, I should at least make sure we have enough weapons.”

Felicia nodded. “If you want, I can go help you. I’m good with numbers and stuff.”

Selena looked toward Flora for a response, but she seemed rather unresponsive. She had no clue why, but Selena passed it off as stress. “Well, if you’re sure you won’t drop anything…”

“That’s not a certainty, Selena,” Jakob murmured, but he curbed his words.

Felicia huffed and crossed his arms. “Nothing’s a certainty, Jakob. Besides, I’ve been getting better! Ask Lady Kamui, or Gunter, or even Flora!”

Flora shrugged.

Selena waved her hand at Nyx. “Well, I don’t really need much more from here. What time are you guys going up to the surface to march?”

Felicia paused and touched her chin with her finger. “I think in about three hours? Lady Kamui said the time was variable, though, so I don’t know for sure.” She dipped her head. “I have a bunch of energy though, so I can help you without worrying, Selena.”

“Well, whatever you say…” Selena muttered before casting one last glance toward the other twin and exiting the tent.

. . .

Selena crossed her ankles at the base of the tree, watching the moon shine in the sky again, casting light ripples across the small pond. Too bad it didn’t contain any fish; Selena would have probably spent more time here if that was the case, though Prince Leo probably would have found some way to get them all killed in an attempt to fish efficiently.

It was for the better.

Kamui’s team would be returning to the astral realm sometime during the night. Selena was pretty sure she’d be sleeping at that point, but she was still looking forward to seeing Lady Camilla and Beruka again.

She hoped that nothing bad had happened. Bandits could strike, or maybe Hoshido had caught onto the fact that their vanguard was traveling by land in this direction. Anything could happen really.

Thoughts of Cheve were brought to the forefront of her mind again and she was too tired to shut them down.

If Hans decided to try something like that again, Selena didn’t know if she would be able to stand idly back and not just strike him down. Sure, she feared King Garon’s wrath, and Iago’s to a lesser extent, but she had her humanity at least!

She sighed and rubbed her cheek. What if they had been able to negotiate properly with Scarlet? How many things would have changed? It wasn’t like she could go into the past again (though it was once possible) and change it back.

What about if they had told Kamui just what kind of enemy they were going to ultimately go up against? It wasn’t like they could stop the conquest of Hoshido at least; King Garon was too powerful, and they were better alive than dead. She, Laslow, and Odin often talked about the ramifications of their choice, but they all agreed that it was better to destroy one country and save the world than stop a war and end up dooming it to a bitter enemy that would strike from the inside.

If only there was a better way to stop Anankos… And everyone else in Nohr who was corrupt. She shuddered at the thought of having to fight with Hans against Hoshido. He was a vile man, obviously, but she could respect his strength… And loyalty to Garon, she supposed. That wasn’t nothing.

She let out a sigh and leaned her cheek in her hand, looking dully into the dark forest. There was nothing she could really do until the time came, anyway. Perhaps they could tell Kamui about the dragon when Hoshido was as good as conquered. Perhaps they could somehow spare the royal family. It wasn’t Hoshido’s fault that they were bait anyway.

She jumped as she heard a branch snap somewhere behind her, but quickly stilled her beating heart. “Jeez, at least be loud all the time when you’re walking up to someone. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Selena shifted over slightly to let Jakob lean up easier against the trunk of the tree and he slid onto the ground.

“If you get a heart attack from something as mundane as that, perhaps you should consider fixing your heart,” Jakob teased her from the side, adjusting the cuff of his sleeve. Selena noticed with satisfaction that his bandages were still on, though his wounds were probably better by now.

“Maybe you could consider walking with more care? What if you woke up Lady Kamui while she was slumbering?” Selena chuckled, looking across the pond. “What a rude awakening.”

“Lady Kamui is a surprisingly deep sleeper, at least she was in the fortress,” Jakob clarified with a small laugh himself. “I doubt even a verbal spar could wake her from her slumber.”

Selena laughed once more before letting the still silence take over the conversation.

It was likely that they would travel to Mokushu tomorrow. Or at least, tomorrow in surface time. It would take about a week more before the astral realm hit Mokushu, but that would be enough time for the two of them to recover fully. While Jakob’s sword skills couldn’t say the same, he would be useful for pinch healing at least. Selena hadn’t grabbed the Sol skill yet, but she would likely arrive at that point soon. Then, she would be a force to reckon with.

“I hope that nothing terrible happens when we get to Mokushu, but I have the strange feeling that we’re going to run into opposition…” Selena muttered, quietly enough to avoid disturbing the ambience of the area, but loud enough for Jakob to easily hear her and form his own answer to that statement.

“Perhaps. There is no easy telling to what will happen,” he answered slowly, “but we must get through it. Since we must get through it, we will. I trust Lady Kamui to make the best choices and Princes Xander and Leo will supplement her choices with adept tactical information. We are secured.”

Selena turned to look at him with a dull expression. “You’re not even scared of the Hoshidan army? They have way more people and resources than we could ever hope of matching.”

“Yes, but our soldiers match them at least two to one,” Jakob answered back quickly, shooting her a look of his own. “What we lack in resources we make up with willpower and force.”

Selena huffed and turned back, pouting slightly. “I suppose…” They had the Nohrian royals in the vanguard at least. They were stronger than half the army combined, Selena supposed, though she was definitely a force to reckon with. She, Laslow, and Odin had enough experience to surpass everyone multiple times, except maybe Xander, Camilla, and Leo. That was what happened when one was part of multiple wars, Selena thought with a hint of sadness.

“Ah, that reminds me…” Jakob shifted to grab something from his chest pocket, wary of his hands.

“Reminds you of what exactly?” Selena asked with an air of apprehension, watching him go through the motions. “What on…?”

He slowly slid out some sort of small object before shifting to face Selena fully, his face betraying an air of… _something,_ Selena couldn’t tell fully. “Hm…” Jakob leaned forward, too close for Selena’s liking, and she pulled away roughly, feeling a hint of embarrassment.

“W-what are you doing!?” Selena leaned back on her hand, holding her other one up to her face to rub away the indignant red on her cheeks.

“Just bear with me for a few seconds, Selena,” Jakob huffed, almost in annoyance, as Selena dropped her hand, pouting all the while. He leaned forward again, bringing his hand up to her pigtail. He slowly loosed the ribbon from her hair, and she felt it fall against her shoulder.

_Hm, I thought I did it up tighter than that…_

Her cheeks must have still been red, but Jakob either didn’t notice or ignored it as he let down the other half of her hair and brushed it behind her ear.

The close proximity of the situation was slightly unnerving to Selena and her heart carried an irregular beat of nervousness. _Ew, if I’m this tense around people, no wonder I only have a few friends in general._ She sighed with the revelation, feeling slightly annoyed, drifting off into her own world for a few seconds.

She felt the cool touch of metal on her forehead and a snap brought her back to the astral realm. Jakob nodded his head with satisfaction. “As I thought, it really does suit you quite well.”

“Hm?” Selena brought her hand up to touch the object pinning her bangs back and she blinked. She froze, feeling the cold metal touch her skin, and ran her fingers across the shape. _It isn’t…?_ She shifted and moved herself closer to the bank of the pond before looking in, the light of the moon just enough for her to see herself reflected back from the waters.

Shining back at her was the face of her mother, adorned with two gold, wing-shaped clips. Selena gasped, light enough for only her to know, but she wondered if Jakob was able to catch her emotions from that gesture. She stared at the glimmering water for a few more long seconds, feeling her eyes water with tears. Her mother followed the action. Selena chuckled, a small smile making its way onto her face, and she felt a few tears fall from her cheeks and into the pond, scattering the reflection. “Ha… even now, I’m in your shadow, aren’t I…?” It didn’t hurt, as strange as it was, and Selena wiped her cheeks, sniffling slightly.

_I suppose I really do have to go home…_

She shifted back onto safer ground and rubbed her eyes again, curling in on herself slightly.

“I… Must admit that I did not expect this kind of reaction…” Jakob muttered from the side, seemingly embarrassed about the situation.

Selena shook her head. “No, it’s fine…” She sniffed again and rubbed her eyes again. “It just reminded me of… home…”

“Of your mother?” Selena looked up, surprised at the conviction in his voice, and noticed that Jakob was rather stone-faced, but in a comforting sort of way. He hummed lightly before cracking a small smile.

Selena mirrored the action, looking back toward the pond, though her image was now gone from the waters. “Yea… I suppose I take more after her than my father…” _Especially when I’m wearing her hair color…_

“Your mother must have been a beautiful woman,” Jakob admitted slowly before looking away slightly.

“Yea, she was. She was also one of the… most brilliant people in the army. Could use any weapon with some degree of success,” Selena sighed before moving back to the tree again and leaning back on it. She touched the hair clips again. “Thank you, Jakob… For everything…”

“No need to thank me. I would do it all again if only to see you… be more honest to yourself.” He had clipped the last part of his sentence which confused Selena slightly, but she let that go.

Selena sighed and waved her hand in dismissal. “There are so many things I left behind when I traveled here…” She laughed and wiped the last tear off of her cheek. No doubt her makeup was slightly smeared. “It almost makes me want to talk about it more.”

“Why don’t you?” Jakob brought up with a quiet voice.

Selena bit her lip, feeling disappointment crop up in her chest. “I’ve been sworn to a sort of secrecy… Though,” she looked at him, “even I don’t know the extent to that, save one or two things.”

“Why must you be so secret about your past?”

Selena shrugged. It might have something to do with Anankos in general, or that strange place that she probably couldn’t name. Surely, if she omitted those details, she could talk about everything else right?

“Well…” She rubbed her neck, pausing, pulling at a strand of her hair. “I’m not… normal. Not in the sense of everything here.”

“My princess turned into a dragon and one of the stable girls is actually a fish,” Jakob dead-panned. “Not to mention, we’re currently in a pocket dimension, recovering from an icy lake while everyone fights bandits at the surface.”

“I mean… it’s not _that_ weird…” Selena muttered, running a hand through her hair.

“What.”

Selena chuckled. “Oh, the places I’ve been… so much weirder. Can’t even compare.”

“Ha,” Jakob huffed out, leaning forward with something akin to a smirk on his face. “Then, how about you explain? Or else I might just not believe you.”

“Challenge accepted!” Selena tossed her hair back, casually looking around to see that there was no one else around to hear her, before leaning forward slightly. “I’m actually a time traveling agent sent from another world to aid in the war of Nohr and Hoshido and I’ve defeated two great evils and an assorted amount of zombies, seen my parents as my age, and watched the younger self of my friend be born. Or something like that,” Selena added with a secondary thought. “Also, I kinda saved the world. Just sayin’.”

“You’ve read too many of those trashy romance novels that Nyx seems to have a fondness for,” Jakob sighed, shaking his head, though there was an air of disbelief in his voice.

Selena crossed her arms with a huff. “It’s all true.” _Except the Nohr and Hoshido part…_ Selena added to herself. “Ever wondered why I would say that I need to go back to my parents, yet my parents are actually dead? And you heard the conversations I had with Laslow and Odin, right? Did none of those seem strange to you?”

Jakob opened his mouth for a quick retort, but stopped before he could complete the action. A gleam of recognition passed in his eyes and he turned to stare across the pond. After a few moments of, certainly, deliberation, Jakob huffed. “Gods…” He paused and turned back to her, questions brimming in his eyes.

“Yea, it’s a lot to take in,” Selena figured, shrugging her shoulders with a casual air. “We were sent for a secret mission after all. We couldn’t share much, or we didn’t know if we could. Specifics like that.”

 “I can see why you are shrouded in secrecy,” Jakob admitted with a quiet voice, deliberating over the information. “Both for your… mission and the sanity of others.”

“Well, I’d already given you a few pieces,” Selena admitted with a cross of her arms, “so it wasn’t too hard for you to fill in.” She paused, closing her eyes. “Uh… I wouldn’t bring word of this to anyone else, though…” Selena warned him. “Odin would probably be fine, but I think Laslow would get a little worried.”

“So, they too are… time travelers from another world? What part of the past are you from? Are you a historical figure?” Jakob prodded.

“We’re not from here,” Selena waved her hand, dismissing the thought. “We’re actually from another world. We’re from a bad future of that world. It was really… bad. And we had to fight zombies. Sometimes of our parents.”

Jakob grimaced and Selena blinked in confusion. “Gods…”

“Yep. Though, I’m over that now.” Selena chuckled, leaning back against the tree again. “Most of us were pretty screwed up from that, but, as you can see, Laslow, Odin, and I are ok now.”

“Odin is really into roleplaying.”

“That’s just him normally. You should have seen him when we had just reunited with the army…” Selena exhaled slowly, thinking about Lucina and Laurent and everyone else again. “It’s… a miracle that I’m sitting here alive today, both mentally and physically.”

“You truly have been through a lot… My complaints almost seem pale in comparison…” Jakob admitted with a steady tone. The information Selena had given him seemed to confuse him even further, but she figured it was only a step in the process.

“Well,” Selena admitted, “you haven’t been through something like that. Anything would seem major. You… didn’t really have a family to fall back on anyway.”

“I had Lady Kamui and Gunter, to a lesser extent,” Jakob continued. “What did you have?”

“Well. Maybe not family, but I had a lot of friends,” Selena chuckled. “We did everything together. They were as close of a family as I was going to get.” She leaned up against the tree and crossed her arms.

“And that is why you must return…” Jakob clarified, almost for himself, and he turned away to face the moon again.

“Yes… That is why I must return.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like that ship tease lolol  
> I originally had Selena telling Jakob her real name, but I decided to put it off. I'll probably use it for some other event. Idk when.  
> So! I'm going to be graduating next week. Since my schedule will obviously be different, I'm not sure how the fic will work out. I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to keep the Friday schedule, but maybe things will change. Maybe they won't. Who knows. (goodbye stats forever i hate you)  
> Happy reading~


	14. Startling Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya i am not a martial artist or anything so writing sparring scenes is not the easiest for me. I hope it flows well.  
> This is uploaded an hour or so late because I was finally able to sleep in, but this chapter is longer than normal so I hope that makes up for it!  
>  Perhaps I will follow this late pattern, but I'm not sure. School's out, so I'll have to reevaluate things.

The Mokushu fight was in two days by astral realm time and Kamui had decided that Jakob and Selena were finally physically able enough… to resume training.

It didn’t annoy Selena too much, as she had been agitated from not moving around much, but she didn’t know how well swordplay would benefit him in the short term. It wasn’t like he was switching into a sword class before they hit Mokushu anyway. Maybe healing practices would be better, but she supposed that wouldn’t be too useful for him in the long run.

Kamui had mentioned that she had only kept Jakob in the butler class because she had been hurting for proper healers and a dagger range, especially after Elise had fallen victim to a sickness (since then she had been anxious about healing, probably a primary reason she had classed Niles into adventurer), but she had kept him in his class because the uses of the other seals escaped her. Selena didn’t know much how the partner seals and friendship seals worked either, mostly because she was only used to second seals. Odin had stated that the partner seal was romantically based while the friendship one was platonic, but Selena didn’t know how feelings could unlock powers or whatever.

Selena looked over her training sword. When she had done a spar with Laslow the other day, she had thought it splintered. While it hadn’t, she knew that the sword was probably nearing its last legs. Hopefully she could make a new one soon. Maybe Beruka would be interested, she seemed to like working with her hands.

Laslow slid down onto the bench on the side of the training area while Jakob performed his own check over’s on his sword. “Well, I suppose we can just see how far your practice has gotten you, Jakob. I don’t think teaching you any new techniques today would do well anyway.”

Jakob nodded his head, muttering his own agreement, and shifted into a starting stance, holding his sword in a protective position. Selena was fast; she could strike easily and the only way to protect against that was to be on the defensive. She chuckled to herself; at least he had learned that much. She moved her feet into her own stance and held her sword in a more offensive position while analyzing his stance further. Even if she was supposed to be training him, she wouldn’t hold back. Hopefully he wouldn’t hold it against her too much when he lost.

Laslow stood up and edged a bit closer, observing the opponents. “Ok,” he muttered before moving back again. “You can start.”

Selena lunged forward like a blur, swiping in front of her to force Jakob to lose slight composure. He jumped back of course, but she anticipated that and stabbed her sword forward. He was able to block her sword about halfway, but caught the majority of her attack in his shoulder. He swung his own sword, nearly unbalancing Selena, and she took a step back, slightly more wary than before.

She readjusted her grip, using a two hand style for her next attack and nearly unbalanced him for a change, though he was able to place a swipe against her unguarded chest and she could feel her ribs protest.

He was stronger than her, obviously, but she had tried to ignore that fact for as long as she could. She was better with a sword anyway and had practiced for many more years. She supposed, in the end, natural build affected what someone could do with a weapon, but practice could take the lead.

She took a step back and breathed in once to test her lungs. She was slightly winded, but nothing she couldn’t deal with, and she stepped forward again rapidly, feigning left before swinging around behind him, knocking the small of his back with the hilt of her sword, sending him in a stumble forward before he used that momentum to turn against her, nearly hitting her face.

He probably would have died in that attack had she been an enemy using a real sword, but neither of them had intention of stopping the fight here. They both needed some way to exercise anyway after being cooped up for half a week. She blocked a second attack which sent her back a few steps and then a third one.

She grit her teeth. He was being surprisingly aggressive, she thought while sending off another attack to her left, sliding his sword down the length of hers and into the ground before kicking him in the stomach, hoping to send him at least a little bit away from her so she could readjust her position to something more comfortably offensive, or maybe even defensive.

Laslow made a noise from the side and Selena wondered if he thought they were being too violent, but, as Jakob leaned up and shoved her back with another blow, she figured neither of them were hurting much.

Selena smiled, despite herself, and held back a laugh before twisting around and hitting his side again, blocked by a sword.

The same sort of dance continued on for a few solid minutes; Selena wasn’t really aiming to end the fight quickly as she figured some sort of satisfying win would be better and Jakob was testing out his abilities.

Nonetheless, they had both gotten tired over the course of those few minutes and Selena found herself taking more reckless steps across the ground, though Jakob was also worse for wear, only a small relief. She blocked another one of his attacks, causing his sword to slide toward the ground again, too tired to do a full out block, but Jakob had anticipated this and used the momentum to swipe Selena’s feet out from under her legs, sending her on her back rather roughly. He leaned forward on his knees quickly, pinning her shoulder down with his free hand, and held his sword in front of her neck, a silent show of his victory.

Selena blinked a few times, reeling from the speed of her defeat and her pounding head before she let out a panting sigh, inhaling almost as quickly to try and regain her breath. Her sword slipped slightly from her hand, though lying down wasn’t exactly the best position to be holding things either. Jakob’s hand was warm against her shoulder, pinning her down rather firmly. If he was ever caught in such a situation, he could definitely give an opponent a run for their money, but considering how she had ‘defeated’ him earlier, he would have to shape up in order to become a decent swordsman.

His face was rather close to hers, but he seemed tired also, as his form wasn’t as good as Selena would have liked, but she wasn’t really in a position to judge. He exhaled once before leaning up and off of Selena, offering a hand so that she could lean up as well and she took it gratefully, leaning back on her hands after she was upright again and sighed with a hint of annoyance.

“Jeez, you only won because I slipped up, ya know?”

“Of course, Selena,” Jakob chuckled, knowing full well that he had won fair and square before he stood up and walked over to Laslow (who currently had a very… unique expression on his face) to debrief on his technique and current skill level.

Selena eventually stood up and set her sword to the side, drinking some water to gain some sort of energy back to her body. The fight had tired her out, but it had also been an exhilarating experience. Sure, fighting Laslow or Odin would be much more fun, but it was interesting to shake it up once in a while, and Jakob had improved a lot through her tutelage.

“Hey Selena, you two should probably take a break before continuing. I don’t want you two getting too tired after all,” Laslow cautioned from the side after he sent Jakob away to do something else.

Selena groaned and leaned back. “I’ve been sitting around for days! A bit of training isn’t going to hurt me…”

“Yea, but Lady Kamui doesn’t want any of us to be too tired for Mokushu,” Laslow continued, adjusting the rack of training swords. “Even I’m not doing as much training as normal.”

He was right of course, but Selena pouted anyway, puffing her cheeks out in a childish show. “Ok, fine, I’ll take it easy and get some lunch or something. Also a bath.”

Laslow smirked for a few seconds as Selena stared at him, cup in her hand. “Got a little _sweaty_ , huh?”

“Well yea, I did a fair amount of dodging,” Selena sighed while taking a drink. “What, do I look _hot_ when I’m all dirty?” She drawled toward her friend, trying to make him uncomfortable.

“Only the heat of the furnace of my heart can compare to the feeling when-“

She chucked the water at his face before heading off to the mess hall.

. . .

Selena should have known that there was some kind of malice  that the Mokushu population had toward Nohr. Kotarou had lied about his intentions and Shura had been incredibly insulted from the entire conversation start to finish. Once Kamui had learned that Mokushu had been the country responsible for the destruction of Kohga, everything had gone downhill.

At least they knew Hoshido wasn’t completely behind the attack, as one of their own had been captured. Selena didn’t know how much the ninja Saizou was actually interested in helping them (he had yelled at Kaze for a few seconds before running off), but he hadn’t seemed to be an enemy at least, so Selena had ignored him and gone on her own route through the terrifying maze that was the Mokushu tunnels.

Mozu and Niles were behind them, helping with their ranged attacks and healing while Selena braved ahead, taking out enemies that hadn’t fallen to arrows or daggers. Jakob surveyed the area, checking current enemy locations and informed Niles that there was a ninja around the corner.

“Hm, I guess I’ll have fun with this one,” Niles purred while slinking around the corner, Mozu sighing as she followed. Selena shuddered.

Kamui hadn’t wanted many groups to split up, but as a result of the numerous tunnels and enemies, the only way to defeat them fast and get through to their destination was to split up the work. Selena and Jakob were left alone, still slightly near the beginning.

“There’s some more enemies to the right,” Selena muttered, listening to the various swordmasters and puppeteers. “It’ll be tough, but Niles and Mozu have the left, so it’s all we can do…”

Jakob nodded and set himself in position. The pillar blocking the way was lowered and the one where Mozu and Niles had exited to lifted up. Someone must have used another dragon vein, but at least they were prepared.

Selena stayed pressed up against the wall for a few seconds, listening for any additional movement. There didn’t seem to be any sign that the enemy was aware of her presence, so she slid out from behind the wall and attacked the nearest enemy, a puppeteer. Jakob quickly finished him off before healing a cut on Selena’s sword arm. She nodded in thanks before moving toward one of the two swordmasters.

It was lucky for them that Mokushu used the same class system that Hoshido did. It was good practice and there weren’t many surprises, as everyone had studied Hoshuidan techniques or were well versed in them naturally. It made things slightly easier, which could be the difference between someone’s life and death.

The swordmaster class was reminiscent of Selena’s own class she had taken up in Ylisse, but the specific techniques were slightly different and as such there were some surprises.

She tripped the sword user up after Jakob had thrown a dagger in his shoulder and sliced his side. The puppeteer shot an arrow in her direction, but, at Jakob’s warning, she dodged it easily. The swordmaster swiped his sword across Selena’s legs, electing a yell of pain, but she sliced his neck, rendering the enemy neutralized.

She took an arrow to the shoulder, unable to dodge quickly enough, and whimpered again, feeling tears prick her eyes. Jakob was unable to finish the enemy off, but his dagger caused the Mokushan warrior to fall off of his puppet and the butler used that time to quickly heal Selena’s legs before ripping the arrow out of her shoulder with a word of apology, apparently planning on healing it quickly.

It was’t like Selena didn’t know the pain of arrows. She had suffered that same kind of injury in the past. Didn’t make it any less painful.

She leapt forward and stabbed the puppeteer in the stomach, quickly making an end to his own life. The last swordmaster was still a fair distance away, so Jakob took the time to heal her shoulder some more.

“You’ll need proper care for this once we get back…” He muttered, looking closer at her wound, and Selena grunted with the pain.

“As long as I can still swing my sword, I’m fine…” She forced out with gritted teeth. She stepped back with Jakob as a ninja and a master ninja appeared through the opening to the hall where they had come from. Jakob cursed, throwing a dagger at the ninja before he could properly attack the Nohrians.

A shuriken sliced through Jakob’s shoulder and he kneeled on the ground, biting back another word of disapproval, as Selena charged forward, finishing the lesser enemy, before taking a shuriken to her left arm.

It was painful of course, but her left arm was much less useful than her right arm, and she sliced the master ninja’s stomach before Jakob finished him off with another throw of his dagger.

Blood dripped down both of Selena’s arms and her shoulder was in a world of pain. They were getting tired and would need to end this quickly. She gripped her wound, feeling the blood coat her glove, thinking for a second that it would take a while to properly heal. She stood up and moved to take the lead position again, noticing that the swordmaster had moved forward a few more spaces.

He was already wounded, perhaps from a team farther upward. He was the last enemy Selena and Jakob would have to deal with anyway and it was unlikely that reinforcements would be sent to such an area of little consequence. Hopefully Kamui’s team was having better luck as they were going after Kotarou.

She parried a blow from the attacker, knocking his sword out of range of her side and sliced up his shoulder. Though she was hunched over slightly and definitely not in prime fighting shape, she could easily take out this enemy. Jakob chucked another dagger, though it missed, and he cursed behind her. He was clearly stressed out about the situation, having been separated from Lady Kamui after all.

Selena felt the glow of Sol coat her weapon and she finished off the enemy with a stab to the stomach, glad that he hadn’t dodged at the last second. The cut on her left arm closed up and she felt her shoulder give off a little less pain than before, though she would clearly still need proper healing. It felt fairly deep.

She fell to her knees, taking a gasp of air. The coolness of the stone beneath her legs was comforting, but there was still an eerie darkness about the place that put Selena off.

The unsheathing of a sword graced her ears and she jerked her head upright, fear clutching at her heart, as a swordmaster dashed toward her with almost inhuman speed. She gripped her sword with a quick hand, but was unable to fully move her arm.

The seconds seemed to slow down like molasses and Selena was only acutely aware of her shoulder paining her in the face of her inability to fully react to the situation. She would not be able to raise her sword fast enough, not with a wound like that. The fact tore at her mind and she experienced something akin to calmness.

_Ah… It’s almost strangely fitting… But so unfair…_

She felt her vision blur and her eyes closed; at least they were quick enough to react in this kind of situation.

The pain of sliced skin never came. She opened her eyes, the quick blink already over, and wondered at the events of the present situation.

Jakob had dashed in front of her, raising his hands to provide some kind of protection against the blade of the katana, his bracers gleaming in the low light, even from Selena’s perspective. There was a sort of urgency to his stance, something that Selena couldn’t determine completely.

The swormdaster huffed as if annoyed at the turn of events, kicked away Jakob’s arms with a devastating blow (a move she had seen replicated only by the Hoshidan Prince), and raked his sword across the butler’s now exposed chest, spreading blood across the ground, the swordmaster’s front, and Selena’s legs, knees, and feet.

Her heart grew cold and the blood left her face, her mouth opening slightly in shock, as Jakob clutched his chest, stumbled back a few feet to her right, and collapsed onto his back, gone to the world. His left arm was splayed at a strange angle; it couldn’t be comfortable in the least.

Selena dulled her thoughts and, taking the few seconds opportunity that a successful move would take to blur a warrior’s mind, stabbed the swordmaster through his chest, using his underarm as a guaranteed gateway to his heart. The enemy collapsed onto the ground, dead before he hit.

Selena’s senses didn’t reveal enemy movement so, in that confidence, she dropped her sword (or rather, it slipped from her grip; her hands weren’t really working) and kneeled next to Jakob’s prone figure with a rushed urgency that betrayed her fear, checking that he still breathed life.

The situation was horrid. Blood flowed freely from the gash that ran from his left shoulder to right hip. Ribs had been broken through cleanly (though, Selena could almost see bone splinters) and she could see the beating of his heart, evident through both the muscle itself and the steady stream of blood from his body. His face was whitening with an accelerated rate and Selena could feel herself begin to crumble with hysteria. Her body shuddered.

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Selena muttered, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible as she stripped away his shirts and his vest with her knife, trying in vain to patch up his stomach and shoulder with the available fabrics, breathing with an uneven, rapid rate. She threw her gloves off for precision, feeling blood warm her skin as soon as she turned back to her work. Her ring lost its sheen, replaced by the slick shine of warm blood.

There was so much blood. She almost let the idea of his death worm its way into her mind before she shook the feeling off with a rough motion, grabbing the healing staff from his belt. It wasn’t like _she_ needed it right now.

The staff fell from her grip and clattered onto the cobblestone, the blood really not helping with her trembling hands, before she was able to begin using it, so she picked it up again, feeling his blood run down her wrists. She gasped for a few seconds, trying to calm her heart down in such a trying situation, before the staff began to glow a green color. Her eyes pricked with tears.

She hadn’t patched (or rather, covered) his chest yet, and she could see his heart slowly regain motion, muscle tightening together again and mending itself.

Thank goodness Brady had given her that anatomy book; though she had focused more on muscle placement in her future studies, her basic heart studies just might keep Jakob from dy- from having chest pains later in life.

She whimpered at the thought of it and tears slinked down her cheeks, mingling with a slight spray of blood, probably the swordmaster’s. Her hands became sticky and the grip on the healing staff was getting rather uncomfortable, but there was no way she could stop, not now. She felt her own energy slowly leaving her body; she wasn’t quite conditioned for healing work.

She looked at his face again; his skin was so pale. It was well known that he was definitely one of the paler Nohrians, second only to Felicia and Flora, but now he looked practically translucent. Selena bit her tongue to avoid sobbing aloud.

Her shins became stained, her knees dyed a brilliant red, her shoes worse for wear.

“Jakob please… If you… If you die here… I’ll kill you myself,” she forced out, tears accentuating her words with a sparkly sort of wetness that only crying little kids could replicate. She adjusted some of the fabrics, holding his chest together, knowing that there was no way those could even hope to stop the flow of life from Jakob’s veins.

She needed proper medical materials and a proper healer. But Niles and Mozu were long gone and everyone else was farther up.

Selena held back another sob, feeling something like shock begin to cloud her mind as she desperately fought to hold her composure, though she continued her slight curl inward and over his body. Jakob needed someone right now, even if she wasn’t a proper healer.

The staff broke, but at least his heart was no longer cut. She grabbed the second one, a mend staff, and began on his lungs: a trickier part, but something that Selena would (hopefully) be able to deal with.

The sound of a horse’s hooves was like music to Selena’s ears. The Mokushu army wouldn’t have horses in such a corridor, and she heard someone gasp with a loud frequency. “Oh gods, Selena, what’s going on?”

“F-Felica, please h-hurry…” Selena forced out of her mouth, barely able to use her voice for its proper use. The maid rushed over, whipping out a mend staff of her own before the cooling green glow rushed forth. Selena could see his other vitals slowly coming together, though she looked away as Felicia started on his midsection. She wasn’t comfortable with that stage of healing.

“His heart… ah, it’s o-ok…” Felicia stuttered as Selena continued to slowly mend his lungs. It was hard going, but Selena was now eternally grateful to her mother for forcing her to work at least a little bit with her magic. Her potential was basically zero, but it wasn’t completely nothing.

Felicia looked upward to where Peri was standing in an uncomfortable stance, wrists crossed, unsure of what to do. “Go get Lady Elise and anyone else you can find! Tell Lady Kamui to end this battle as soon as possible and contact Lilith. Jakob needs to be rushed to the medical tent immediately!”

Peri nodded her head, patted Selena on the head once, and hopped onto her horse, riding away with a sense of extreme urgency. Selena let out a sob (or a noise of pain, she wasn’t sure) and gripped the mend staff tighter. Felicia looked over, noticing that Selena was losing more energy. She might have been surprised that the hero could even use a staff, let alone magic, but she didn’t comment on it.

The bleeding had slowed down at least, but it was still too much for Selena’s comfort (though, none at all would be the only comforting level). She adjusted some of the strips of fabric, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest signaling that he was still alive, though just barely.

“I think…” Felicia breathed out slowly, clearly tired from her own effort. “I think… I may have… stabilized him…” She smiled, though it was twisted from her own despair. “I’ve stopped internal bleeding from his organs, but… I need more help… and materials…”

“A… staff can only do so much, huh…?” Selena murmured, feeling more of her energy leave her body. She was suddenly so tired and her shoulder wound burned like flames. The last thing she saw before her world faded was Felicia leaning out to catch her, looking over her shoulder at a new arrival.

. . .

It didn’t take long for Selena to wake up from the blackness of fainting, but it took her a few seconds to deduce that she was on Peri’s horse, slowly going through the portal. Laslow and Odin were on her sides, seemingly nervous about the situation, and she couldn’t see any healers about, save Niles who was treating some of Azura’s wounds.

Selena fully woke up and shifted, trying to dismount Peri’s horse, forgetting for a second that it was still moving. Laslow shoved Selena’s leg, keeping her from slipping off. “Hey, Selena, don’t move a lot. You lost some blood back there.”

“That’s not important, I need to see how Jakob’s doing,” Selena muttered, slipping down from the horse as soon as Odin gestured for Peri to stop walking. Peri gripped the reins, looking between Selena and Laslow with an expression of nervousness, but Laslow waved his hand and she trotted off.

Selena stumbled and nearly fell, but Odin caught her arm, a frown present on his face. She didn’t know why. “Look, Selena, you’re not… completely healthy. Let’s go get you healed, ok?”

“N-no,” Selena stuttered, knees collapsing beneath her. “Jakob’s the one who needs all the… things… I don’t need to be healed…”

“You have a hole in your shoulder,” Laslow sighed in exasperation, grabbing Selena’s other arm. He nodded to Odin who ran off to get Niles. “We can’t just leave you injured like this.”

“Let me be!” Selena yelled, ripping her arm out of Laslow’s grip, leaving a shocked expression on her friend’s face. She wiped some tears from her eyes. “I don’t need healing! Jakob’s the one who’s bleeding out, he needs it! Not me!”

“Selena, I think you’re in hysterics right now,” Laslow muttered with a calm voice, slowly walking to her position. “We need to sit down and calm-“

“I’m not going to calm down at the drop of a hat!” Selena took a step back, batting his hands away. “I can… I can be of some use… I can heal him too, I have knowledge…”

“Not when you’re in such a state you won’t,” Laslow growled, grabbing onto Selena’s hands and grabbing her tightly as she shifted and squirmed to release herself, yet failing, much to her despair and annoyance. “You’re going to sit down and calm down before you ruin something!”

Selena held back a sob, sinking to the ground to try and get out of her friend’s grip, feeling her shoulder smart. “Let. Me. Go.”

“No.”

Noticing a scratch on Laslow’s arm, Selena leaned over and bit the skin, causing him to grunt with surprise pain and loosen his grip. She slowly wiggled out, shooting him one last glance, before she stumbled over to the medical tent, noticing that her wound was burning like fire again.

She entered the room, noticing that there were a few other soldiers who had been wounded more than her. At least Jakob was situated properly in a back corner and Nyx seemed to be finishing up a few last stitches near his hip. He was heavily bandaged besides that and Selena wondered for a second how long she had been out before the reality of the situation hit her in the face again and she stumbled, unable to hold her weight.

Elise noticed the motion from the side, currently healing Kaze’s stomach wound. Flora was mixing a few salves and Felicia was taking a powernap to the side. Selena froze. “Why… why aren’t any of you healing him…?”

Nyx shot a warning glance to Flora, something akin to a threat in her eyes, so the maid looked away, guilt written clearly in her gesture. Elise smiled at Kaze and replaced herself with Flora. “Selena, you don’t understa-“

“Why aren’t any of you healing him!?” Selena repeated, tears running down her cheeks again, voice tainted with fear and hysteria. “He needs magic, not salves! Not stitches, not now! He needs-“

“Selena!” Elise repeated, a warning written into her tone, and she gripped her healing staff closer. “You’re not a healer. You don’t understand what we’re doing here, or our techniques. I’ll be happy to help you, but you need to leave this to us.”

Selena shook her head and took a step back before glaring at the youngest princess again, a mixture of anger and despair surely branded in her eyes. “He needs healing! Lady Elise, Flora, Nyx, why are none of you healing him?!?” She looked between the three and noticed Kaze shake his head slowly. She froze, ice chilling her veins and her heart skipped a beat.

“Selena, we only have limited materials and there are many people who require healing!” Elise shouted back with an equally stern tone, frowning all the while, and Selena turned back to face her. “I wish I could treat them all, but there are ways we have to cut our losses!”

“Jakob is not a loss!!!” Selena felt her voice tear at her throat and she held back a sob, clasping her hand over her mouth, curling slightly inwards on herself.

Why was she reacting in such a way? Why did she not have control over her own words?

“I know he’s not a loss!” Selena noticed that Elise was wiping away some tears. “No one is a loss! But… But if it’s between Jakob and Kaze dying… I have to make that choice! If… sacrificing Jakob is what it takes to heal five others to full health, then I have to make that decision! This is war! Some people we love are apt to die.”

Selena’s eyes flickered and she felt blood rush away from her head. Her knees shook and she nearly collapsed onto them as she shook her head. “Don’t… do that… Don’t do that!”

“Selena.” Elise frowned, tears pooling in her eyes. “I have to ask for you to excuse yourself from this tent immediately!” Elise turned around and crossed her arms. “I have a lot more patients to deal with and you are interrupting my work. Please remove yourself from these premises.”

Nyx finished placing one last bandage on Jakob before she stood up, passed by Elise, and grabbed Selena’s hand, tugging on them to guide the hero.

Selena stayed put. “Please… please don’t do that, Lady Elise!”

Elise shook her head and moved on to another patient, leaving Jakob alone.

“No…” Selena choked back another sob, tugging in the opposite direction of Nyx’s pace as the dark mage gripped her hands tighter. Selena felt her body slowly become numb, tears running down her cheeks without refrain.

Odin and Laslow were waiting for her to exit, mournful expressions on each of their faces. Selena didn’t know if the reason was her or Jakob, but she was willing to bet both.

Nyx released her hands and shook her head, a light sigh coming forth. “Considering what you’ve been through, the three of you, I’m surprised that you are capable of such a reaction.”

Laslow frowned and waved his hand. “Go away, Nyx. Do your work.”

“Such a reaction from you as well? Hm.” She shrugged, crossing her arms, and walked back into the tent, hair floating behind her in the light breeze.

Selena sank onto the grass, hugging herself with tight arms, careful to avoid her arrow wound in her shoulder. She let out a high pitched sob, curling in on herself. “No, no, no, no, no…” She sobbed a few more times before Odin and Laslow knelt down, hugging her in what they could only hope was a comforting way. “I don’t… I don’t want him to die…” She forced out of her mouth, muffled by Laslow’s shoulder.

Laslow patted her back and Odin checked over her shoulder. “I know, Severa… I know…” Laslow whispered into her ear, trying to be comforting.

Selena choked back another sob, burying her face further into her friend’s shoulder, before she was unable to hold back her emotions and began wailing, tears streaming from her eyes into his clothes. She gripped his shirt, feeling her body shudder with her uneven breaths and her sobs.

Odin and Laslow met gazes, a sad, tense silence between the three.

. . .

Selena rubbed a wet cloth over her hands, slowly rubbing away the blood from her palms and watching the color turn reddish. It was a fairly monotonous movement that helped distract her from the current reality, though the shake in front of her made of berries and other protein powders laid largely ignored.

Her hair was also slightly coated with the sticky substance, but she didn’t feel like rubbing that out yet. Her clothes required more attention anyway, but she hadn’t been able to do much. She didn’t have much control over her limbs, not really.

Nyx had murmured something about ‘shock’, but Selena knew that wasn’t how shock worked. When she had seen Gerome nearly slain by an arrow and go into shock it had been much different than how she had reacted throughout this whole situation.

Niles slid into the chair in front of her, jostling the cup slightly, and stared at the hero for a few seconds before she put the cloth down and took a sip. “I’m surprised you’re as mobile as you are. You lost a lot of energy with that healing. Though, of course, it would be funny if you were completely still. What fun…”

Selena didn’t feel like egging the thief on, so she simply sipped on her drink continuously, staring ahead into space.

Niles sighed, probably upset that Selena hadn’t gotten provoked at his words, so he crossed his arms and legs and leaned back. “I have some news from Lady Kamui.” As Selena stiffened he waved his hand in dismissal. “It’s not that. It’s something else.”

“Oh. Wonderful.”

“Shura was killed by Kotarou.” Niles paused and waited for Selena’s reaction, but there wasn’t much of one. He chuckled, a rough laugh that got on Selena’s nerves. “I knew you were callous, but only caring about the life of one person? That’s low, even for me.”

“I didn’t know him that well.”

“Yes, but you shared conversations at least? Benefited from his information?” Niles shrugged as Selena shot him a look. “Apparently Kohga’s demise was brought about from Mokushu. Had we known that, perhaps this battle would not have been so troublesome.”

Selena grit her teeth, biting down on the straw, but continued to keep a blank face.

“Lady Azura was visibly upset and Lady Kamui is just not in a good place right now,” Niles continued, “but with Lord Leo, she’ll be ok. Lady Camilla is fine and Prince Xander is contacting King Garon right now with the information. I’m sure Lord Leo will request a week’s worth of resting time on the surface and a way to navigate the area without allied help.” He laughed. “That should buy us, what? A month or two down here?”

“You do the math,” Selena growled, sipping her drink again.

“Someone’s touchy today,” Niles chuckled again, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. “Plan on sharpening something with that edge?”

“If you’re just going to torment me, I’d rather you jerk off somewhere else,” Selena snapped. Certainly, she was touchy right now, of course she would be. Jakob was lying in the medical tent probably dying because it would take too many resources from the healers to actually bother to bring him back.

Sure, Kaze had risked infection, Azura had a split leg, and Lady Kamui had various wounds. Selena had received an arrow hole in her shoulder. That didn’t excuse Jakob’s position in all of this.

Someone deciding someone else’s fate was the worst. Her fingers tingled.

She knew why it was happening. As a child, she had read that if a mother animal birthed more than two at once, it would focus on one to raise the chances of one of them surviving. If it focused on both the young, the chance of them both dying would be exponentially higher and that was counter to productivity. She had hoped that humans were different, but she supposed even humans had base needs.

It figured that the only way she could keep her head about this was to think about it as objectively as possible. Even then, her heart hurt. It was strange; she had never really been through a lot of pain, physical or mental, when Gerome, Lucina, even Cynthia had been injured. Sure, it hadn’t been as bad (save the time Gerome had fallen from Minerva), but this was just strange. It felt like someone was stabbing her heart with a thin metal probe.

It was a terrifying feeling. Her nerves were all on edge.

“You seem like you need a shoulder to lean on or whatever,” Niles sighed while waving his hand to the side, eye closed, “so Lord Leo sent me since your two buddies are off doing debriefs and small healings. I’m sure Laslow didn’t like it much when you bit him, so he’s been checking out in the tent for a bit, doing what he does best.”

Selena gulped, forgetting for a second how she had reacted in that instance. Her body had almost been on auto pilot, thinking about base needs before considering how others would react to her actions. Her eyes felt wet again and she wiped them, sighing as she did so.

Niles paused and stared at her for a few seconds with a blank expression as if he was deliberating something. She ignored him again and took another sip of her smoothie. “Ok, so perhaps I was exaggerating with that shoulder part. I don’t actually care too much about what you think right now or how you feel.”

“That makes me feel _so_ much better, Niles,” Selena snapped with an edge in her voice, turning harshly away.

“I’m actually here for something else,” he continued, ignoring her response. “Info sharing.”

Selena tensed, but played it off. “Like what? Got bits on what the heck Mokushu and Kotarou were thinking?”

“Haha, you only wish,” Niles chuckled, face still blank, before leaning forward slightly, exhaling slowly as he considered his next words with more care than he usually did. “I’m going to be blunt here, Selena. Jakob won’t survive the night. No healing can get that far, even with more supplies, and the healers can only go so far with their energy. I should know,” he sighed, leaning back and ignoring Selena’s shocked expression, “I healed some of them.”

“Haha, what a joke. Th-there’s not no chance of that, there’s s-still-“ Selena cut herself off before she could stutter more, feeling her mood begin to plummet even further. “Clearly they’re just not doing en-enough.” She choked back a whimper and looked down to the ground, feeling the spikes enter her chest again with a fervor that hadn’t occurred earlier. “It’s just… l-lies…”

Niles sighed and stood up, but grabbed her arm to help her along. “I told her I shouldn’t be the one to tell you. What use am I?”

“W-what…? Who…?”

“Lady Camilla,” Niles responded, still devoid of emotion. “Come on, let’s go over to her before you collapse. I’m not carrying you.” He muttered something about Camilla thinking wrongly that Selena could talk to others to help before dropping her off at the princess’s side.

Selena could think, couldn’t speak of anything, her mind was just composed of a sea of white noise. She was vaguely aware of Camilla saying something comforting to her side and Beruka passed her a plate of some kind of food, but all Selena could think about was how Jakob was lying alone on that white bed, pale, sickly, dead to the world, and soon to be dead to everything.

It must be a nightmare; there was no other way to describe the events unfolding like crumpled parchment around her. Her hands were unresponsive and she couldn’t really feel her skin. She was vaguely aware of resting her head against Camilla’s chest or shoulder and there was a wet sensation against her cheeks. Her voice hurt, almost more than it had earlier, and Selena realized that she was bawling.

Her mind couldn’t process anything more. It just couldn’t, and she admitted herself to a fate of light-headedness and despair, thinking that if he was going to die, she may as well suffer too.

“Oh darling…” Camilla cooed after Selena recovered from her episode and she watched the setting (or almost, anyway) sun reflect light off of her lady’s armor. Camilla gazed at her with a look comprised of both pity and empathy. “I’m so sorry…”

Beruka dipped her head once, expression morphing to one that was slightly less apathetic than before, before shoving the plate toward Selena again. Selena wiped her eyes as Beruka explained that she should probably eat some of the food before she become dehydrated.

“D-did I really cry that much…?” Selena shoved the pricks of pain in her heart away as she stuffed a watermelon slice in her mouth, sniffing again.

“More.”

Selena shuddered, nearly choking on a piece of her watermelon as another wave of pain hit her chest. “It’s just… so unfair…”

“Dear,” Camilla murmured, trying to be kind, “I don’t want to cause you more pain than you are already in, but I think… for a casual friendship or work relationship… aren’t your reactions rather… trying?”

Selena grit her teeth, snapping on another bit of watermelon. “No. It’s not… He… he was… sliced in front of me… what else am I…?” She gripped her arm, creasing marks into her skin with her nails. “What else am I supposed to feel?” She let out another sob, curling inward again, as Beruka and Camilla looked on with slightly concerned expressions. “How am I… how can I go on... like this…?”

_What am I saying…? Living for the existence of one person… Something like that is beyond stupid and insane… But even then… even then… is that what I think…? Despite everything?_

“Selena, I think you’re pushing away your true emotions…” Camilla encouraged, rubbing her retainer’s back, and Selena jerked, pausing. “There is nothing wrong with being sad. There’s nothing wrong with feeling sadness for someone. Denying those are what hurts you the most. Embrace yourself and what you are.”

“There’s nothing different…”

Beruka sighed, a noise that caused Selena to lean up and stare at her fellow retainer. “You pretend to be the same person you were when we met, but even you have potential for change. Jakob and even I weren’t the only ones to undergo improvement. Look around you.”

Selena shook her head, rubbing her eyes. “Impact doesn’t matter. If the one being impacted isn’t here, then what’s…?”

Camilla sighed and closed her eyes, looking in front of her. “I wouldn’t know that, sweetie. In the end, what you think is something that you decide.”

“You pretend to dislike others, but your bonds stretch deeper than you know.”

Selena shook her head again, but slower and with more insecurity. “I don’t…”

“Life is hard, Selena, but it’s what’s at the end that makes it more worthwhile,” Camilla chuckled. She patted her retainer on the back again. “My sister was looking for you. She wants you and Charlotte to do something for her.”

Selena nodded, stood up on shaky legs, and slowly headed off to where the princess was currently residing, monotonously plucking flower petals off of the stem with a blank expression on her own face. Prince Leo was sitting next to her, looking in a different direction while holding an open book. He noticed Selena first, but didn’t say anything as she slid down next to the younger princess, watching the flower petals slowly decorate her clothes. “Lady Kamui…? Lady Camilla said… said you wanted me…”

“Yes, a bit ago… It’s fine…” Kamui let out a light sigh and shook her head slowly. “I know you were… upset earlier, so I told Charlotte to get the bath house ready… Relax… Stuff like that…”

Selena blinked, her eyes flickering. “Lady Kamui…?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t do much else than that…” She turned to look at Selena, eyes reflecting a sorrowful gaze joined with a smile. “Charlotte should be waiting for you, though… I noticed your hair was still… mussed up.” She looked at the strands before turning away, knowing full well that it was blood that covered her hair. At least it was already red.

Selena dipped her head once, not wanting to really disturb Kamui’s half-peacefulness. She had probably already had her own meltdown and Selena didn’t want to bring up another one when they were both in precarious positions. She stood up with weak knees, slowly heading over to where the bath house was.

It had been renovated recently; there were three overall rooms in the building. One was the baths, the largest room. Two others were small bathing rooms with warm water flowing out of fountains on the walls. Selena had heard that Lilith and Azura were responsible for keeping them running, but she figured that the dragon veins also had something to do with it. She headed toward the women’s bathing room before taking out her ribbons, letting her hair fall down in front of her face.

She avoided looking in the mirror, not really feeling like seeing her reflection at this time. Charlotte was near the back already wrapped in a towel, sorting a few materials and prepping some water in a smaller tub, one that was used for things like cleaning clothes. Selena set her ribbons to the side and Charlotte noticed that she had entered the room.

“Well, Lady Kamui told me to get some stuff ready, so I did…” Charlotte sighed, watching as Selena slowly stripped her garments, leaving her underclothes. “There’s another one of these for your clothes. I’m surprised you haven’t treated them already.”

“Didn’t matter…” Selena muttered before dropping them off in soapy water. “I didn’t care…” She slowly stripped and grabbed a towel (not white, of course).

“Sounds unusual coming from you of all people,” Charlotte remarked quietly before she led Selena over to one of the fountains. The water was warmish, but cool enough to avoid making Selena overheat. It was refreshing to say the least, but it didn’t lift her mood any higher. Selena rubbed her knees in an absent-minded fashion while Charlotte slowly worked the dry blood out of her hair, soaking it in a smaller tub with soap already prepped.

Selena finished up fairly quickly with soaping down her body and was able to simply sit and relax while Charlotte continued to clean up her hair. She figured that the berserker would never do something idly and figured that there was something in it for her in the end.

“I’m surprised you manage to keep your hair so well while in a war,” Charlotte commented, near the middle of Selena’s hair. “Maybe we should share some tips.”

“Well, I don’t let it drag along the ground or anything,” Selena muttered, not really focusing on the topic at hand. “Keeping it up helps.”

“Do you have a specific kind of shampoo?”

“I did, but not anymore. Maybe I should trim it a little higher than I usually do…”

“Well,” Charlotte shrugged, rinsing her hair off in the tub, “you do what you want. Kaze’s surprisingly adept at hair care, so maybe you should take it up with him.”

“Kaze, huh…?” Jakob probably would have been the go-to person other than Gunter; Felicia was hopeless and Flora wasn’t as interested. Selena bit her lip, feeling tears in her eyes again, so she leaned back and let the water wash over her face.

Eventually, they retired to the larger bath room, content to simply sit and let the silence speak for itself. After a few minutes of that, Charlotte seemed to get a bit antsy about the current situation and leaned off of the edge of the bath. “The truth is that Princess Kamui wished for me to talk to you about… what’s happened.” Selena shot her a look and she shrugged. “Maybe it’s because we’re connected by the Cheve tragedy? I wouldn’t know her reasoning, but I’m not here out of the goodness of my heart anyway.”

“Then why are you here at all?” Selena reflected, causing Charlotte to blush.

“Because it was an order! That’s all, really.” She flicked her hair to the side. “Maybe it’s because we’re not too different or something.”

Selena sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I wouldn’t know.”

Charlotte huffed and tossed her hair to the side again. “I can’t say that I’ve ever lost anyone, but if Benny died, I’m sure I’d need a shoulder to lean on. For a little bit.” She looked to the side toward the main fountain. “Anyway, we’re going to be holding a small wake for Shura. Nothing too big, but he was a part of this army and Lady Kamui wants to respect it, especially since we could have avoided this had we listened to him. Apparently.”

Selena nodded. “I’ll be sure to pay my respects…” She didn’t know him too well, but it wasn’t just Jakob’s injury that had her on edge.

The reality of war was finally clouding on her doorstep and she didn’t like it.

“Even after all of this work… Am I really destined for this…?”

“Selena?” Charlotte prompted, and the hero shook her head, shifting in the water.

“It’s nothing.”

. . .

Kamui kneeled forward in front of Shura’s body and whispered a few things, candlelight dancing across the crowd. Selena crossed her arms, watching as the princess shed a few tears before she stood up and wiped her face. Leo patted her arm and Elise offered her a hug.

“This will only be the start of a long and harrowing journey…” Xander muttered, speaking to the entire audience. “Today, though we have won a battle, we have suffered a severe loss and multiple injuries. We must persevere in order to win this war and save Nohr…”

Selena stiffened and she watched Odin and Laslow look at each other with a guilty face. Azura and Kamui also shared gazes, though she couldn’t determine the meaning.

“Brother, this isn’t the time to talk about war,” Camilla cautioned, touching his shoulder. “We have suffered a loss, certainly, but it’s time we recover and think of better things.” She leaned forward and whispered in his ear and he nodded, looking toward Kamui, and bowed his head slightly. Kamui nodded, accepting the gesture.

Selena jumped as she felt someone grab her arm and bumped into Odin. He gestured to the right and she followed him and Laslow away from the crowd.

“We’ll be burying Shura later, but…” Odin paused, a confused look on his face. “Should… Should we tell Lady Kamui and everyone about Anankos…?”

“I think at this point, we can’t,” Laslow muttered. “We’re not even in Hoshido and what if Lady Kamui decides not to attack Hoshido as a result? Nohr will fall and we won’t be able to get at Anankos…”

“I can’t just stand around and do nothing!” Odin ushered, his expression morphing to one of anger.

“Odin? What are you guys talking about?” Elise walked over with an inquisitive expression on her face and Odin and Laslow fell back, embarrassed.

“It’s nothing important, Lady Elise,” Selena muttered, face blank. “Just… small things…”

Elise gulped, blushing. “S-sorry… I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Laslow waved his hand, stuttering. “It’s fine, nothing done, no harm…”

Elise looked over to the medical tent before looking at Selena, still embarrassed. “I’m… I’m sorry……” She shook her head. “Maybe you…. Maybe you can go see him…? You don’t need to watch Shura being buried when there’s other things for you to do…” She looked toward Kamui before turning back for a few seconds, averting her gaze. “I’m sorry…” She walked away back toward the crowd and Selena watched her fade away.

Odin and Laslow looked at Selena, shuffling on their feet awkwardly. She shook her head at their concern. “She’s probably right… I’m ok now, it’s fine,” she assured her friends, waving her hand. “It’s… it’s war… Someone was apt to go some time… It’s just a pity it was… them…” She bit her lip and walked away from the area, the moon and candles lighting her path to the medical tent.

Felicia was sleeping on one of the chairs next to Flora and Flora looked about to fall asleep, so Selena tried to walk as quietly as possible to the small, blocked-off area where Jakob lay, completely still. It was rather dark, but Selena could see him breathing if she concentrated hard enough. He wasn’t wearing a shirt as a result of the many bandages covering his chest, though a sheet was pulled up about halfway, covering his stomach. Selena grit her teeth, noticing that the bandages were already showing hints of red. _Someone should replace those…_

His face looked extremely pale and still, framed in part by his hair worn loosely. It would have been uncomfortable to have hair done up while laying down after all, but it made him seem even more foreign, Selena figured. She took a few steps closer, feeling her shoulder wound throb, and pulled up a chair to sit next to him.

The night was still, almost eerie. Someone shuffled in the front room, probably Felicia, and Selena cleared her throat quietly. _What do I even say…? Is there even anything that I_ can _say?_ He wouldn’t hear her and she wasn’t a big fan of talking to herself, especially when her words wouldn’t change anything.

She choked back another sob, feeling her emotions from earlier begin to crop up unwantedly. She clenched her hands into fists on her knees, feeling a few tears fall down from her cheeks. “There’s… there’s nothing I can say…” She whispered, wiping the tears away. “If I’m going to say something… I’d rather you hear it for yourself.”

He didn’t respond, of course. Selena shook her head, dashing other thoughts away, and stood up, pushing the chair back slightly as she leaned closer to him, pushing her face into his neck. He was cold, of course, but not offputtingly. Perhaps it was normal. She breathed in his scent for a few seconds, frozen in place, before she leaned back and placed a single kiss to his forehead in farewell, feeling another tear run down her cheek as she placed a hand to her mouth, muffling the sound of a second sob so that Felicia and Flora wouldn’t wake up from her grief.

“ _Goodbye… Jakob…_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolololololol  
> Shoutout to Kotarou who's name I forgot for like a week.   
> Happy reading~


	15. A Way to Move Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ufufufufu  
> Did you guys like the last chapter? I sure did.  
> If you've read my other works, perhaps you saw this coming.  
> On a completely unrelated note, in about half of my Awakening files, I would forge a ladle, name it Grima Killer, and kill Grima with it. Out of all the joke weapons, a ladle seems the least likely to kill something, yet I slayed a dragon with it.  
> Don't let your memes be dreams.

_The field of flowers was all encompassing and it reminded Selena of the Tree of Mila. The scent wasn’t unfamiliar and it was a relief that she didn’t have allergies. There were a few bees flying around between the flowers and she saw a few petals drift in a small, warm breeze. She was currently sitting, surrounded by the greenery. She looked down, surprised to see that there wasn’t a blanket or anything covering the ground beneath her. She was dressed in something fairly nice, but she supposed that she could just wash it out later; she was decent at doing that anyway._

_She seemed to simply be in a sea of flowers she realized as she stood up and observed the area. Nothing else was recognizable and no one existed around her, but she didn’t feel scared or particularly alone. There was nothing around but her and the few bees flying through the air and even then they were dwindling._

_She took a few steps before flopping onto her back, spreading her arms out through the flowers. The sun shone brightly, but not in her eyes, and the warmth cascaded onto her body. Her arms didn’t feel like they were suffering from a burn and even though her dress didn’t go below her knees, her legs didn’t feel hurt either._

_She closed her eyes and inhaled the various scents, feeling the few flowers around her slowly kiss her skin, particularly her cheeks. She was completely calm._

_“Are you going to lie there all day, or are you going to actually do something of merit?”_

_Selena slowly opened her eyes, vision blurry before she focused on the person before her, kneeling and blocking the sun from reaching her upper body. She blinked a few times before lifting her hand up, face still blank._

_Jakob sighed and shook his head before offering a hand, casually and without malicious intent. Selena exhaled slowly, blinked once to get some pollen out of her eye, and moved her hand closer to his, grabbing onto it as he pulled her up and out of the flowers. The pair of them sat amongst the growth, staring at each other for a few seconds before Jakob looked to the side, across the sea of plants. “It’s quite beautiful. Nohr was never home to such aroma.”_

_“This is Ylisse after all. Of course it would be different.”_

_“Ah, but it isn’t Ylisse.”_

_Selena shrugged. “I suppose it isn’t.”_

_He stood up after plucking a flower dyed with yellow and red, a strange type of rose, from the sea of flowers and placed it in her hair, over her ear. She realized she was wearing it down. It didn’t feel tangled or heavy at all and she wondered if physics operated differently in this place. He gave a noise of satisfaction as she looked up at him with one closed eye from the sun and a small smile crept onto his face. “As I thought, yellow suits you.”_

_“Well, yellow goes better with red than brown.”_

_“I suppose it would.”_

_Selena slowly stood up, brushing petals from her skirt and legs as she looked around. The scenery had changed slightly. There was a solitary tree a few lengths behind Jakob, casting shade across the flowers in the surrounding area._

_She slowly noticed that there were a few more roses in the sea of flowers, though they were graciously outnumbered by tulips, daylilies, daisies, and other sorts of plants. She didn’t know roses grew in singles._

_Jakob crossed his hands behind his back and gazed at the scenery just as she had earlier. “Your world certainly is a beautiful place.”_

_“Of course it is. I saved it after all.”_

_“Did it always have this sort of beauty?”_

_“No. At one time, a death god had taken it over. Disease crossed the land and countries fell. It was certainly a hellscape. But, knowing that this sort of image existed, my friends and I sought to get it back.”_

_“You certainly have a heart for justice. I’m sure Arthur would be proud.”_

_“He would.”_

_Selena felt her skirt drift slightly in the small breeze, enough for her to feel the fabric move against her skin. She brushed her hair behind her other ear._

_Jakob extended his hand outwards in invitation, palm up, other hand crossed behind his back in formality. The breeze tugged at his sleeve cuff and his shirt. His hair was up, unlike hers, probably because he felt more comfortable wearing it like that whereas Selena didn’t particularly care either way. She took a step forward, placing her hand softly on his, edging her hand forward to feel the pulse in his wrist with her fingers. It was fairly comforting for a reason she couldn’t place._

_They were frozen in time, staring into each other’s eyes, trying to determine the thoughts of the other. Selena didn’t, couldn’t feel anything other than the slow rhythm of his pulse, though the ground under her feet was cool and welcoming._

_Jakob slowly led her closer, hand gripping hers tighter than before, and placed his other hand on her waist in the normal stance of a Nohrian dance. Selena rested her free hand on his shoulder, being no stranger to formal etiquette. Camilla had taught her to dance a few years ago, though she was more familiar with Ylisse’s folk dances. Nohrian tradition was much different, but it also had an interesting flair and Selena had had a fun time learning from her Lady: a brilliant dancer. Lord Xander was also talented, but he was stiff in a way that Selena wasn’t completely familiar with._

_Jakob slowly took one step forward, leading Selena through one of the less complicated routines, feet gliding over the carpet of greenery and color. The breeze moved Selena’s hair as she danced through the various steps in four-four time, slowly switching to a more complicated dance as she showed Jakob that she could handle a bit of footwork._

_It felt as if they had been dancing for the greater portion of an hour, but at the same time it must have only been for a few seconds, maybe a few days. Jakob slowly stilled into an ending stance before releasing her hands and bowing lightly. Selena curtsied, gripping the trim of her dress with a delicate hand. They were only half a foot apart, but it felt like the distance was greater, at the same time none at all._

_“I don’t believe anyone else I’ve danced with has the same particular style that you do, Selena,” Jakob mentioned after a few moments._

_“If you watch Odin or Laslow, I’m sure you’d see something similar, though I’ve been influenced by Lady Camilla’s teaching.” Selena paused, sensing the presence of a new visitor. Jakob looked a slight distance over her shoulder._

_“As I thought, you and your mother do look similar. Though, it seems you have your father’s eyes.”_

_Selena turned to look behind her and stilled as she saw the figures of her mother and father standing just where she had been lying down minutes earlier. They were_ her _parents: the parents that had died in the war against Grima, defending Ylisse and Chrom. The parents that had left her alone, but the parents that had inspired in her a sense of duty and loyalty. She exhaled slowly before turning fully around and looking at them straight on._

_Cordelia smiled, hands crossed at her wrists, and Selena’s father had a sort of peaceful expression that she hadn’t seen since her mother died._

_They were both peaceful and as Selena hugged them, eyes tear free, she felt peaceful too._

_“You’ve been through so much, my child,” Cordelia murmured, passing a hand through her daughter’s hair. “You’ve grown so much. I only wish that I could have been there with you to see it happen.”_

_Her father dipped his head, silent as always. Selena shook her head and grabbed her mother’s hand, holding it close to her cheek. “You did what you had to in order to secure a future for me. I never blamed you for it; not once.”_

_“Sadness isn’t forever. It will cling to your heart, but you will eventually be able to carry on,” Cordelia continued._

_“You don’t truly move on from a person… You just learn to live without them,” Selena echoed, repeating something she had heard in her youth. Those words seemed foolish at first, but after everything that had happened, she kept them closer to her heart._

_“Indeed,” her father responded promptly. “Just as how you learned to be your own person without us, you will continue from any current hardships.”_

_Selena dipped her head, feeling her bangs flick over her eyes. “Yes… There’s always a destination…” She looked up to a blank field, flower petals floating in the breeze once again._

_She turned around, feeling as if she was completely alone before noticing Jakob standing near the shade of the tree, flicking through the pages of a book. She walked over to him, feeling the air cool down slightly, and he closed the book with a quiet snap. The pages faded into droplets of light._

_“While I myself feel fine, can the same be said of you?”_

_Selena paused, shifting through words and sentences in her mind, before she looked slightly to the side. “My feelings don’t matter. What will happen will happen and what has happened has happened.”_

_He exhaled slightly before leaning up off of the tree and turning to face her, a blank expression on his face. “Live your life without restraint, Selena. Do not let the events of the past hold you back.”_

_Selena tuned, plucking the flower out of her hair and holding it at arm’s length. “Without restraint, huh…?” She turned to look back._

_Jakob had disappeared, just like her parents had._

_She didn’t feel scared, but felt slightly off-put._

_A whisper of words worked against her ear and she closed her eyes, placing a hand to her cheek, feeling the flower’s petals brush against her skin._

_~~_

_The flowers beneath her feet seemed to be just a little sharp for her liking._

_~~_

_She exhaled once and the breeze stopped and the air continued to cool._

_~~_

_A small boy walked out from under the shade of the tree and the flowers faded to grass around him. The pleasant scent vanished and Selena felt herself grow inquisitive of the changing situation. She observed him as he walked toward her, clutching a bouquet of roses: coral, purple, and yellow with a single red rose adorning the middle. His feet were bare and his hair was a messy shade of reddish brown, stained light by some sort of means. It looked almost mousey, but failed to shine the deep brown that someone like Mozu was capable of. It seemed to be parted in almost a strange way and Selena wondered if he had done it himself._

_As he reached her position he looked up at her and Selena noticed that his eyes seemed to hold something deeper than any child she had seen. It was almost strange to stare at him and he seemed in no hurry to do anything about their current situation._

_“Who…” Selena watched him slowly set down the bouquet in front of her feet, straightening up to look at her again. “Who are you…?”_

_The boy paused, but not in a show to consider his words. His arms were crossed behind his back in a show of formality. His eyes bored into her soul and she found herself stiffening._

_“I am you.”_

. . .

Selena slowly blinked her eyes open to a room lit softly by the rising sun, though it must have been fairly late judging by the shorter shadows on the ground. Her bed felt comfortable, yet constraining at the same time. She rolled over, noticing a book lying on her dresser. It seemed to be one of Odin’s spell books, judging by the adorned cover and slightly askew pages. She considered her options for a moment before she stood up lazily and walked over to it, passing it between her hands as she observed the words on the cover. She vaguely remembered about Odin once talking about how he could alter and create dreams.

“Hm, that would explain it…” She couldn’t exactly hate him for doing that; he was obviously looking out for her and it made her feel a little happier inside, even if it opened some questions for what other things Odid did with his magic.

She noticed the golden wing-shaped clips on her dresser, feeling a pang of sadness cross through her chest. Biting her tongue, she slipped them onto her bangs, clipping them back with a practiced hand, almost feeling the touch of Jakob’s fingers attaching them.

It hadn’t been that long ago…

As she stepped out of her room, having gotten ready, she noticed that most everyone was off doing other things of importance. She could only see Keaton and Benny playing around with a stick and Leo doing some kind of measurement on the apple tree. Everyone else had vanished elsewhere.

She had the urge to go see Kamui, though the princess was likely busy, but she headed over to the tree house reguardless, pushing herself away from the medical tent in the process. She shoved the wooden door open to the main cluster of rooms, shutting one of the closet doors on her way up. She could hear Gunter talking in a hushed voice with the princess as Selena arrived at Kamui’s room and it sounded like Xander was saying something as well, so Selena decided to backtrack and head down again.

She passed by Jakob’s room, pausing as she noticed the door was askew. He almost never left it open, so she had never seen the contents on her few journeys through the treehouse. She had the vague feeling that it was probably laid out better than her own, but that too was only to be expected. She looked around for a few seconds before stepping inside, letting the door swing behind her and tap the doorframe, not closing all the way.

It was smaller than Kamui’s room, of course, with a cooler and cleaner air, but it seemed more… filled than the princess’s. There were various objects scattered around and Selena doubted _he_ had left them like that.

There were also a few things hanging from the walls: a small picture that looked as if a child had painted it, some fabrics pinned up, and some metallic objects that Selena couldn’t place. She wondered if Lady Kamui had made them all; it seemed likely.

The curtains covering most of the window didn’t help with Selena’s vision, but it did cast a somber feeling across the room, one that had been absent from her own. She walked over to his desk, noticing a small, closed box and a book with uneven pages. It seemed to be filled with words and pictures, though Selena didn’t really feel like opening it up and prying. Same with the box.

His wardrobe seemed to be the only thing that hadn’t been disturbed, so she would leave it like that. She slowly walked over to his bed and sat down before laying on the comforter, touching the cold wall with her hands. Various thoughts and feelings tinged with despair flowed through her head, but she shoved them all away, burying her face into his pillow instead and breathing in, hugging the fabric slightly closer to her chest. This scent was definitely different. It was absent of the smell of death.

She shuddered before standing up and brushing the hair out of her eyes. She cast one last glance around the room before exiting and shutting the door behind her.

She headed over to the mess hall to get a late breakfast, noticing Peri making some kind of mix for a pie or a cake. Flora was also finishing a late breakfast; she had likely stayed up late as well, taking care of things.

Selena closed her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart, before she walked over and sat down next to the maid after getting a breakfast of her own. She played with her silverware for a few seconds before she cleared her throat. “So… When are we…?” She paused, unsure of how to continue.

Flora shrugged. “I don’t know much of what happened. I went to bed late and I’ve only just gotten up. I assume that the royal family has plans for what’s happening…” She shook her head and rubbed her cheeks. “I haven’t had a chance to see Lady Kamui yet, but I assume my sister has. You can ask her.”

Selena dipped her head before shoving her mouth full of food, not really feeling like continuing a conversation with her or else she’d say something she would regret. The food didn’t taste like anything in particular, but it helped distract Selena for at least a few minutes.

Odin and Laslow were doing something off to the side, perhaps discussing another bold plan of action.

“How… How are you doing…?” Flora offered, setting a peeled orange to the side with a hint of a blush to her face. “I know that, yesterday, you were… um, extremely unsettled by… what happened… I know that it’ll be hard to get over it…” She shrugged, grabbing a bit of the orange. “I know that Felicia and I are… struggling. Lady Kamui even more so, but I know that everyone else is also hurt, so I can’t simply focus on just myself and my lady.”

Selena nodded a few times. “I’m fine now, Flora. It’s always hardest when an event happens, but after that… Well,” she huffed, waving her hand, “time heals all wounds. Eventually.”

Flora nodded her head in agreement and began on her breakfast once again.

Selena took more time to actually notice what she was putting into her body, but everything was still rather dulled. She wondered if she was still going through shock and denial. It didn’t _seem_ like Jakob was dead, not really, though when her parents had died, it had taken her a few days for it to actually sink in and even after that she always expected them to just show up and hug her and tell her about what had really happened.

She bit into a piece of bread, chewing slowly, as she considered a kind of fantasy like that. Her dream last night had helped ease her feelings at least, save the part with the boy with the bouquet of flowers.

She would have to see why Odin included that part, it was pretty strange.

As she finished and began to gather her materials, a loud slam echoed through the mess hall and startled the occupants. Flora nearly spilled her glass and Charlotte glared at the interrupter before noticing it was Lady Kamui. Laslow and Odin stepped out of the way as the princess rushed over to Selena and Flora, collapsing on her knees in front of the pair, tears streaming down her face, as she placed her hands on the ground to try and support her body.

“L-lady Kamui…?” Flora offered, kneeling from her chair to lend a hand.

“H-he’s alive… Jakob’s alive…” Kamui lifted her head, breathing heavily from her quick run, probably from the medical tent. Selena shifted, running her hand across the table to steady herself. “He’s alive in spite of everything…” Kamui laughed, more tears running down her cheeks. “Or maybe just to spite everything, haha…”

Flora looked up with astonishment at Selena and the hero froze, the words fully hitting her head. It was as if a crushing weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, but instead of feeling more relief, Selena still felt worry and tears threatened to spill out of her eyes just like what had happened to the Princess. Sure, he had survived the first night and the first night was likely the hardest, but it would just be a stiff climb from here. No doubt there would be lasting effects from his injuries as well.

But it didn’t really matter, Selena forced herself to think. He was alive now and that was a miracle.

“Hah… you don’t… you don’t say…” Selena choked on her breath as she placed a hand over her mouth, tears threatening to spill from her eyes just as Kamui’s had. She held her arm close to her chest, leaning down slightly as the weight of her words held her down. “That’s… amazing…”

Kamui dipped her head a few times, throwing some tears off of her crowded cheeks. “I knew he had a slim chance, but it was just so small…” She laughed again, probably still overwhelmed. “I’m so glad… I’m so relieved that he didn’t give in…”

“It was my fault…”

Flora and Kamui looked up, the latter wiping tears from her face, as Selena muttered her response to everything. She cleared her throat and repeated herself. “If I had been attentive… If I had focused on my surroundings… none of this would have happened…”

“What exactly happened, Selena?” Flora prompted, hand on her lady’s shoulder as Kamui looked between the two with confusion.

Selena bit her lip and looked down, a few tears falling form her own eyes. “I was stupid, as usual. I had gotten hit and, instead of focusing on defense, I decided to be reckless. There was only one enemy so naturally I had a chance, right? Hah.” She frowned, her tears turning bitter, as her words wavered and her lip trembled. “I was vulnerable… Jakob took the hit instead and almost died… because of me.” She shook her head and rubbed her hair back, nearly scratching herself in anger. “I’m a fool…”

“Selena…” Kamui muttered, her tears beginning to dry and leave tracks on her cheeks. She stood up with assistance from Flora, smiling at her retainer in thanks.

“You’re not a fool at all.”

Selena looked up at the maid, surprised that she had even spoken up at all, and Kamui blinked a few times. Flora looked to the side and shrugged toward Kamui. “I know…” She paused, considering her words carefully. “I know that Jakob wouldn’t do that for just anyone. It was hardly your fault, then.” A flash of disappointment seemed to cross through her eyes, startling Selena. “Clearly he felt that… It was worth it. Having you alive.”

Selena set her jaw, crossed her arms, and turned to look at the wall, anywhere but the pair standing in front of her. “I’m hardly worth it, not when there’s people like Lady Kamui and Camilla around… It’s just not realistic. Besides,” she waved her hand, continuing despite the tears in her eyes, “throwing his life away for someone like me? His calculations must be way off.”

Flora and Kamui locked gazes, communicating something that Selena wasn’t privy of. It seemed to be a confused look, or maybe one of exasperation, though Selena was willing to bet on the first. For what, she had no clue. “Hm? You two are… friends, aren’t you?” Kamui started, carefully, and words picked well. “I’ll have you know that he doesn’t consider just anyone like that. You two are pretty close.”

“I don’t…”

Kamui stood up and wiped away the last of her tears. “I’ve known him practically all of my life. I know he’s stubborn and obstinate and cruel to anyone who isn’t me.” She waved her hand. “I know that. I’m not at liberty to change him either. He…” She bit her lip, rubbing her arms. “He deserves to feel some sort of animosity to this world that hasn’t given him an ounce of respect. He said I should as well, but…” Kamui shrugged. “I’m not that sort of person. But now that all of this has happened, he’s had the chance to see things from a different light.” Kamui smiled and took Selena’s hand, startling her, and she took a step back despite herself. “Because you stood up to him, first off, and then you showed him that the only way to counter cruelty is with kindness. Because of that…” Kamui looked to the side and Selena could see a new mark on her neck, a slim scar. “Because of that, he’s willing to change, or at least consider the possibility.” She laughed and rubbed the back of her head with a nervous, yet optimistic expression, releasing Selena’s hand. “I could never do that… Not with the position I’m in… But you did. You showed him that potential.”

“I mean, all I did was work with him…” Selena blushed, looking to the side embarrassed, and she felt her own tears begin to dry. “It wasn’t much of anything really, I just did what you told me, that’s all…”

“Well, most people would get exasperated with him and give up, but you continued.” Kamui chuckled and looked toward Flora who crossed her arms. “I suppose you two have personalities that fit just right.”

“The only way to increase the tsundere would be to stick Keaton with them and make it a group of three,” Flora commented bluntly and Selena crossed her arms.

“I am _not_ a tsundere! I’m not embarrassed by anything idiotic! Or my own actions.”

“I’m sure Laslow and Odin would disagree.”

“Ha! You only wish!”

Kamui laughed, taking a step back. “I suppose we’re all relieved.” Her expression turned slightly dour. “I only wish that Shura had been as lucky.”

Selena bit her lip again, wondering just what had happened.

“Perhaps it was for the better,” Flora murmured. “King Garon would have had him executed after the war anyway. At least now his life had been given for something just.”

Kamui shrugged, rolling her head to stretch her neck, and let Flora’s words hang unconnected in the air. “Flora, we should probably go check up on Jakob. Nyx and Elise are healing him right now and Gunter is supervising them, but the more hands the better.” She turned to walk away before pausing and looking at Selena. “Do you want to…?”

Selena looked to the side. She didn’t know if she really wanted to see his wound again, but perhaps it was for the better that she go see him. “Yea, whatever, I’ll go, but only because you asked me to. Wanted me to.” She sighed and shook her head in embarrassment, feeling the words prickle at her skin. “Whatever.”

Kaze was still in his own bed in the tent as they walked in, maybe for a checkup or something, Selena didn’t know. Azura was applying a salve to her leg and Niles was thumbing through herbs on a shelf. Kamui gestured for Flora and Selena to follow her to the back end of the tent and she dipped her head toward Nyx and Elise in thanks for taking care of her retainer. Gunter stood near the back corner, staying out of the healers’ way.

“He should thank the gods of both Nohr and Hoshido for allowing him to survive this long,” Nyx drawled, unraveling a bandage in preparation of more healing. “Or perhaps everyone standing in this room.”

Elise nodded, rinsing her hands with some water before grabbing some gauze and salves. “Especially Selena…”

Selena blushed and looked to the side, but not before muttering her agreement.

“Well, we were about to change these bandages…” Nyx began, looking toward Kamui. “Are you here to help or just to… watch?”

Kamui paused, tongue tied, before she waved her hands and stuttered for a few seconds. “I mean, if you… if you need the help, then we’ll be glad to assist. Anything would help, right?” She looked toward Gunter who nodded his head at the princess.

“Well, Flora is clearly the better option if your words are anything like your hands,” Nyx sighed. “We need top coordination. He’s still in a delicate state and one misstep could cause something to go wrong.”

Elise looked toward Selena, a look of apology in her eyes, but Selena looked away, not returning an answer. “If you really need someone to help, then I guess I can, but not if you don’t need me, of course.”

“Perhaps it would be better if I assisted,” Gunter added with a sturdy voice, noticing that the other members were nervous about the situation. “My expertise would be useful, especially in such a tense situation.”

Elise and Nyx both nodded, agreeing with the veteran, before they finished preparations, handing Flora her own materials. Flora looked around the tent, pausing in her process. “Where is Felicia?”

“Sleeping. She took the night shift,” Elise explained. “So did Niles, but he’s dealing with the other injuries right now.”

Kamui chuckled with a nervous air. “I’m sure Jakob wouldn’t like it much if Niles was the one who treated him…”

“Well, he gets what he gets,” Nyx muttered, calling Gunter over before she began to strip off the old bandages at Jakob’s shoulder. As she removed the coverings, Selena’s eyes were drawn to the many stitches littering his skin, crossing down diagonally. No doubt, obviously, his whole front would be covered with them, but it still seemed so surreal. It made him look… weak. Vulnerable.

Gunter was the one to hold him up as Nyx and Flora reapplied the bandages, salve, and coverings as Elise prepped them. Selena didn’t really know what she could do other than be there for some sort of pseudo support. She was surprised that he wasn’t bleeding any more, though by looking at Kamui’s expression, they were only lucky that it was the case. There were so many stitches, she thought once again.

Her eyes were drawn to Gunter’s face next. While he seemed calm, she could only assume that he was as nervous as everyone else and was just skilled at holding it back. Jakob was like a son to him after all. Such an event would shake anyone.

Nyx clapped her hands together after the two healers finished their work as if to free them from dust, relieving everyone’s tensions at the same time. “And now we just have to somehow wake him up.”

“How are we going to do that…?” Selena muttered, looking over his covered figure with worried eyes. If that ordeal hadn’t woken him up, then what even could?

“Elise put him under a sleeping spell last night to make sure that he could get maximum healing potential,” Nyx explained with an even tone. “It seems to have worked, so now we just have to get him up so that he doesn’t starve to death. He also needs liquids.”

Flora nodded and went to the back corner to begin mixing up some sort of energy drink, shooting Selena a careful look for some reason.

Kamui leaned back and touched her cheek. “Well, if we need to wake him up, perhaps Gunter could start the normal wake up routine?” She looked toward the knight who shook his head, an exasperated look on his face.

“That won’t be necessary,” Nyx dismissed as she turned to Kamui. “I have ways that don’t involve stressors.”

Elise stepped forward, nervous. “Should I remove the spell…? Can I…?”

Nyx patted the princess’s shoulder with a comforting smile on her face. “There will be no need, Lady Elise. I have dealt with many an injury in my time. A situation like this is nothing new and I am able to deal with it promptly.” She walked to Jakob’s bedside and lightly tapped his cheek. After no response, Nyx touched her cheek, considering her options. She turned and snapped her fingers. “Selena, come here.”

“What? Why?”

Nyx glared at her and Selena quickly stepped forward with embarrassment, not wanting to evoke the mage’s wrath or a spell. “Lady Kamui, other side.”

The princess quickly took her position, crossing her hands at the wrists with a determined look in her eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

“If you were to wake someone up, how would you?” Nyx prompted with a gesture, taking a step back.

“Well…” Kamui sighed and crossed her arms fully. “Jakob’s not a light sleeper… Though he’s not a heavy sleeper either. He hates mornings, but he’d always get up when I asked him nicely…”

“Oh!” Elise raised her hand and waved it around with a smile. “Whenever you’d wake me up in the fortress, you’d always rub my face and squish my cheeks. It tickled.”

Selena grimaced and Kamui laughed at her reaction. “Haha! Well, she’s not wrong.” She wiggled her fingers in the air as if to be threatening and placed both hands on her butler’s cheeks, moving his head around slightly.

“Lady Kamui…?” Selena muttered, looking away.

“What?”

“…Never mind.” She probably didn’t know very social ways to go about things anyway.

Kamui leaned back after a few seconds and sighed, letting her arms hang to the side. “He’s not waking up…”

“He’s stirred slightly, though,” Nyx commented after giving an attentive look to the butler. “You have a way of going about things, Lady Kamui. Don’t discredit yourself.”

Selena hummed to herself and placed her hand on Jakob’s forehead, feeling his temperature. He didn’t have a fever at least, though he was a little cold. Perhaps that was just normal though. She narrowed her eyes in thought before she moved her hand and pinched his nose.

Kamui blinked and Nyx chuckled again while Gunter crossed his arms.

Finally, Jakob stirred fully awake and slowly opened his eyes as Selena removed her hand. _I guess Aunt Lissa knew what she was about…_ Selena thought sardonically to herself. He closed his eyes again, giving an annoyed groan as he moved about slightly, frowning in half-baked thought. “Lady Kamui… I feel like sh-“

“Of course you do!” Kamui interrupted, putting her hand over his mouth, much to his annoyance. She shot an embarrassed look to Nyx and Selena and a sympathetic one toward Gunter. It was considered bad form to have a retainer cursing and the like as it reflected poorly on the master, though Selena supposed Garon wouldn’t care how bad Kamui looked. “Elise has something to make you feel better though.” She gestured to her younger sister and Elise stepped forward, handing Kamui the drink that Flora had prepared.

“If you can drink this lying down then I suggest that is what you do,” Nyx cautioned as Jakob grabbed the glass with slow and weak form. “Considering how terrible your voice is, I suggest you don’t do much of anything.”

Selena watched as Elise went to fetch a few food items, ignoring Jakob for a few seconds.

“How…. Bad is… it?”

“You’re damn lucky you’re alive, Jakob,” Nyx sighed. “It’s a miracle. Truly.”

He grimaced, or at least as much as he could in his half-asleep state, and began to pick at his impromptu meal.

“I want you to eat all of it. You’ve been asleep for nearly 24 hours and need the energy.”

“Are… Are you in any pain…?” Selena murmured, loud enough for him to hear, but filled with nervousness. Jakob shook his head, slowly chewing with a rather vacant look in his eyes.

Kamui watched her retainer slowly lean fully back, resting again, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “I don’t think it’s hit him yet…”

“He’s still in a half-delirious state,” Elise supposed. “I don’t think he’ll be ready for much of anything until at least two days from now…” She met gazes with Nyx, conveying a sense of unsureness. Selena gulped, knowing that the gaze was clearly meant to be ‘if he survived that long’. “Though, we need to start therapy tomorrow.”

“Well, I don’t need to put him under again, but quiet is always best.” Nyx shooed Kamui, Flora, and Selena away from the room. “You can give him your salutations in a few days. Or later. Or never. But not now, Lady Elise and I still have a lot of work to do.”

“Will…” Selena paused. “Will he be in any pain later…?”

“I’m keeping him on the salve for a day or two more,” Nyx assured both her and Lady Kamui. “I’m going to see how he is in two days and if I feel like he’s fine, he’ll be off of it.”

“What about then?”

Nyx shrugged. “I haven’t dealt with an injury like this before and had someone survive. We’re going to have to take everything as it comes.”

Selena ran a hand through her hair, not feeling very confident about the situation with Nyx having doubts like that. There was still a chance that he could falter, even now, despite how well he had seemed earlier.

Elise leaned back from the curtain and nodded her head at Nyx. “He’s asleep again.”

Nyx nodded back and began wrapping up a smaller bandage. “I suggest you help tend the other patients, Flora. Lady Kamui, you can spread the word or tend to… other needs.” She looked at the princess and Kamui hung her shoulders. Perhaps the mage was talking about Shura.

Nyx turned to Selena as the princess and her retainer hustled off to their duties. “While you’re still injured, I don’t think recovery is what you need to focus on.”

Selena looked from the curtain to Nyx, blinking her eyes in confusion for a few seconds. Nyx shook her head and sighed, rubbing her wrist. “Mentally, you are unstable. As far as participants in this army, you are nigh unshakable. If this event has brought you so low, there is something wrong. An unseen, unforeseen variable that has… compromised you.”

“I’m not unstable,” Selena mumbled, looking away for a few seconds, considering her words, before she looked back at the dark mage. “I just didn’t want him to die. After everyone else in my life that has kicked the bucket, isn’t it only natural that I try to prevent someone else from dying?”

“Not like that, Selena,” Nyx responded quietly. “Not with emotion like that. Such a reaction was far from your natural norm.”

“Then what do you suggest is wrong with me?” Selena huffed, crossing her arms. “Anxiety? Bipolar?”

“While a few members of this army could certainly be sorted into both categories, I cannot suggest anything of those sorts. I am no psychologist and hardly anyone else is. However,” she continued with a steady tone, “this is something that needs no expert to diagnose.”

“Yea? What is it? Or are you not going to dignify me with an answer?” Selena jested crassly, noticing how Nyx looked to the side with narrowed eyes.

“It is not my place to pry into matters between others,” she sighed while looking up at the hero. “I am hardly the only one who has noticed this development you have, but at least I will not be the one who brings an end to this tense peace.”

“All bark and no bite, huh?”

“This is hardly the place to be slinging insults, Selena,” Nyx sighed in response before waving her hand. “You’re still tense. I suggest you go take a break and unwind before you say or do something you’ll regret. Jakob’s not going anywhere.”

Selena blushed and tightened her grip on her arms, embarrassed and rather offended. “I know that! Duh! None of us are going anywhere, not for a solid few weeks! Not with everything that’s happened.” Thank Lords Xander and Leo for that…

“I am well aware,” Nyx deadpanned. “Now, go do something entertaining while I study the art of medicine some more.” She turned and re-entered the small room leaving Selena by her lonesome.

Selena huffed and exited the tent, feeling snuffed by the dark mage, but equally confused by her words. Nyx seemed to have the same kind of tone that Camilla and Beruka had used along with perhaps Lady Kamui. Selena had a small idea to what they were referring to, but she was confused even then.

She sighed, letting her arms sink to her sides. Her shoulder still smarted from her injury, but it didn’t warrant another return to the medical tent. She could handle the pain for a little bit longer.

If her avoiding use of items helped Jakob recover just a bit better and just a bit faster, she wouldn’t mind.

. . .

Despite others urging her to, Selena didn’t return to the medical tent for the next two days for a reason that she couldn’t place. While she had bandages and small bits of salve that Odin delivered to her (he didn’t question why she sent him on missions to the tent when she herself should be going), she needed a proper checkup apparently.

Jakob had been recovering at a steady pace and while he hadn’t been very active at all the first day, mostly sleeping and obeying small, simple commands, the second day had him being rather restless, apparently asking to see her a few times. While Nyx and Elise hadn’t wanted him to do much that day, Flora had been sent out to request Selena’s presence later in the day. She refused of course and Flora shrugged, not minding much.

She knew she could only avoid going for so long and avoid getting an infection.

 “Selena, if you don’t eat up, you’re not going to get any better,” Laslow prompted his friend as Selena picked listlessly at her breakfast.

“I’m not that hungry or anything,” Selena muttered with about as much attention as she was paying to her breakfast. “I haven’t been moving around a lot, so it’s not like I need to eat a whole lot.” She huffed as Peri shot her a funny look and she shoved some food into her mouth to avoid talking.

“Have you gone to Felicia to get your shoulder looked at yet?” Laslow asked pointedly while taking a bite of his own meal. “There’s only so much Odin and I can do on our own. You can’t avoid proper care forever.”

Selena huffed and swallowed. “I don’t need proper care when it’s not bad enough...”

“It looked pretty inflamed to me, Selena” Peri piped up with a hint of worry in her voice, but shied back as Selena shot her an annoyed glare. Laslow shook his head.

“Like I said, it’s not really that bad, just a flesh wound.” Selena shoved her mouth full again to avoid talking as Laslow replied that it was the opposite of a flesh wound and actually needed proper care.

“What will it take us to get you to go? I don’t understand why you’re being so obstinate, Selena!” Laslow huffed as he crossed his arms, a look of annoyance clearly adorned on his face. “There’s something you’re not telling us is what I’m thinking.”

Selena stiffened slightly, not enough for Peri to notice, but enough for Laslow, someone finely tuned to her actions, to notice. He glared at her for a few more seconds, both sides of the party knowing what had happened, before Selena huffed, slightly blushing as she put on a childish face. “There’s nothing…”

“Oh?” Laslow raised an eyebrow as Peri looked between the two of them with confusion. “This wouldn’t have to do anything with how you’ve been refusing Jakob’s requests for conversation, would it?”

“No.”

“Give me a break, Selena,” Laslow sighed with annoyance, “you should at least go thank him for what he did.”

“For what? Nearly killing himself?” Selena snapped back with an equally annoyed tone, anger flashing in her eyes. “Ha! He can rot if he thinks I’ll thank him for something so ignorant.”

“Selena!” Peri gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth in a childish display of surprise. Selena shot a look to Peri.

“He did! It was incredibly stupid and he should be thanking me for my brilliant thinking else he wouldn’t-“ She bit her tongue before she finished her sentence, feeling her heart clench as a shiver passed through her spine.

“Maybe that’s what he’s been calling you for,” Laslow suggested with a hint of anger still present in his tone. “Stop being so obstinate yourself and go have a proper conversation with him. You are friends, aren’t you?”

“…I don’t need to bend down to his level,” Selena muttered as she crossed her arms, tired of her breakfast meal. She shook her head and stood up, listening as Laslow muttered ‘tsundere’ and Peri looked down at her plate, shoulders hunched.

There was no way around it; she really did need to get her arm checked up on. While the spare herbs had helped (those pots were more useful than she had predicted), there was only so much she could do on her own and Odin wasn’t as much help as he thought. She bit her lip as she passed by Kamui exiting from the medical tent, a falsely happy smile on her face.

The princess had been making a lot of false expressions lately.

Selena swiftly entered the medical tent (which wasn’t even a tent anymore, Selena thought dryly to herself), noticing within about ten seconds that Jakob had been moved out of the back and was now currently getting a checkup from both Elise and Nyx. Elise seemed to be using a stethoscope while Nyx checked over some bandages, though his chest was currently bare. They were probably exchanging salves or something.

Though she had sparred and trained with him numerous times over the few months they had been officially working together and knew very well his strength, she hadn’t connected the idea that in order to have strength obviously he would also be endowed with an equally fitting muscular structure. It was almost embarrassing; seeing him without a shirt while lying on a bed with bandages was quite different from this situation.

Selena gulped and turned, hoping to get to another area for something for herself before nearly running into Felicia. The maid stumbled to the side before regaining her composure with a smile. “Oh, Selena, I was wondering when you would show! What do you need? Are you here for…?”

Selena jerked and took a step back, embarrassment flooding onto her face. She sent a stealthy (or not so much) look to Jakob’s direction and he seemed to have actually responded to the stimuli. They locked gazes for a second (or however much Selena could at such an angle) and he muttered her name, startled.

“I said to breathe in slowly, not exhale quickly,” Elise chastised, leaning forward slightly, not noticing that the hero had entered the tent. Nyx shot a look Selena’s way, full of questioning and she turned her head and looked back at Felicia.

“Just my shoulder…” She stiffened her shoulders as Jakob repeated her name, bluntly ignoring him, and walked into the back room with Felicia, hoping to get the check-up over with as quickly as possible. Felicia seemed perturbed by the hero’s slight, but didn’t bring it up until she had Selena’s arm out of her sleeve and salve prepped for spreading.

“That was… kinda rude, Selena…” Felicia muttered as she looked over the shoulder wound, putting salve on bits of the wound.

Selena stiffened as the wound smarted and she shook her head. “I don’t want to talk to him… not now.”

“Then when?” Felicia sighed as Selena looked away, ignoring the question. “Selena, you can’t just ignore someone who wants to talk to you for good reasons! Jakob’s been out of it for a whole day and the last time he really saw you was the battle three days ago. He’s worried about you.”

“Well, I was worried about him, but I wasn’t being all clingy…”

Felicia stared at Selena for a few seconds, eyes narrowed, before Selena blushed and crossed her arms as Felicia started on bandaging her arm. “You were though. I’ve never seen someone react like that, let alone to something happening to Jakob of all people.”

“No one hates him anymore, not now at least,” Selena sighed, uncrossing her arms to allow Felicia to bandage it easier. “Besides, I don’t think anyone would want him to die. No one wanted Shura to die, right? And he was a pirate…”

Felicia paused, considering her words and the fact that one of their own had died. She shook her head. “No, I guess not… But still, I think you should at least talk to him. You’ll feel better at the very least, right?”

“I don’t know, but I feel completely fine now. He’s not going to die now, so it’s not like I need to stress out about anything now.” Selena slowly moved her arm in a circle after commanded by Felicia, testing the healing rate.

Felicia sighed and leaned back on her heels. “Well, you avoided infection, but don’t avoid the healers next time, ok?” She shook her head and crossed her arms. “You were being silly.”

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Selena breathed out while waving her good hand in the air dismissively. “I have some chores to do, so I’ll check in sometime later.”

Felicia stood up as Selena slid off of the chair, standing up quickly and straightening up. “You’re not going to-“

“No, not now, he’s in the middle of a check-up himself,” Selena huffed as if the answer was obvious. Felicia blinked quickly and Selena avoided meeting her gaze. “L-Lady Camilla needs me for something, so I’ll see myself out…” She quickly left the room, avoided Nyx, Elise, and Jakob, and stepped outside into the sunlight.

Later in the day after talking with both Camilla and Beruka about the plans of action the camp would be taking (they had about a month in the astral realm after all; it would take Kaze, Azura, and Jakob a long while to fully recover and no doubt Hoshido now knew that Nohr was nearing their country), Selena slotted herself for a scouting mission to occur in about a week. There would be one tomorrow, but only the able members of the army would be participating. Niles had snarked something to her about her injury, but Mozu had pinched his ear.

Selena was surprised the two had bonded outside of battle teamwork, but she supposed she and Jakob had been the same.

How long had they been friends anyway? Though they had ‘officially agreed on it’ in the snowy astral realm, they had been interacting smoothly well before that. Perhaps Nestra then? She shook her head. It didn’t matter much when people started interacting well as long as they did, she supposed.

She slowly undid her hair, rubbing her scalp slowly after she pocketed her ribbons. She gazed out across the camp, noticing Prince Xander and Princess Kamui organizing the weaponry and Prince Leo grabbing a few fruits from the tree. There were a few other members of the vanguard doing various other things, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary and she was feeling rather bored watching them.

After running her hand through her hair to try and work out some tangles, Selena noticed Gunter and Jakob exiting the medical tent. Jakob was leaning heavily on the older retainer while also using a crutch for his bad hip, limping slowly along. He seemed to be in slight pain, but she figured it was as a result of moving in general.

He seemed to have recovered well enough if he was walking at this point, even with a lot of assistance, but she didn’t know how she felt about him moving a lot in general, even if he was well healed. Perhaps he had refused other proposals and she was sure someone probably offered to carry him. She saw the row of stitches in her mind again.

Kamui had mentioned working him through physical therapy on his arm; apparently his muscles had been damaged enough to warrant worry for his future with sword training and she had told Selena that even after he recovered, he may not be well enough to resume at least normal work. She didn’t know how to feel about that.

At least he was alive, but the thought was still bitter in her mind. Yet another person had nearly crossed over the line. “I know that the past me wasn’t thinking clearly, but distancing myself from others probably saved me a lot of pain…”

Perhaps she was already at the point of no return.

The next day, Laslow and Odin were happy enough to see that Selena’s shoulder had improved slightly during the night. She moved it around a bit as she thought to herself, feeling her skin pull. She would have to do a bit of training to help her muscle get back to normal, but at least recovery was going quickly. She was much better off than her partner, anyway.

Jakob had given up on getting her to come to the medical tent and she felt slightly bad about that, but she couldn’t trust herself to not have some kind of emotional breakdown in front of him and others, so she figured that avoidance was the best option. She wanted to see him again of course, but fear of her own emotional weakness deterred her.

It was completely embarrassing that something like that would keep her away from others, but she did have her pride at least.

Kamui had updated her with how far Jakob was getting with his therapy. There was no way he would be battle ready for at least a few weeks, so she was thankful for Lilith’s astral realm. The tiny dragon had quickly thanked Kamui for her kind words and Selena vaguely wondered what their blood relation would be since Anankos had fathered them both, even if the forms were different. Dragons were weird.

Kaze and Azura had recovered enough to be walking around normally, though Azura was often assisting the ninja while she stretched her own muscles. Selena had seen them both visiting Shura’s grave for a reason she couldn’t figure out and had wondered a few times if they had performed any specifically Hoshidan ritual.

She brushed her hair out of the way as she sat down and leaned on the usual tree. Keaton played in the water on the other side of the pond with Arthur and Effie, perhaps some kind of training. She watched the group go about their business, watching the sun slowly set behind the cover of the forest outside the protective walls and Arthur and Keaton eventually disappeared to the baths while Effie retired to the mess hall for another meal. She heard Odin yell something somewhere behind her, Azura practice singing, and Kamui and Elise play a game of tag.

Things were slowly returning to ‘normal’.

She exhaled quietly, enjoying the few moments of peace that came with the sun gone from the sky. The moon slowly rose up, taking its place, and cast its own light across the grounds. The pond’s water was currently still and Selena could see the moon cleanly reflected.

She unclipped one of the wing accessories from her bangs and played with it, feeling anxious about what the vanguard would have to do in the future. She snapped it closed and open again, wondering what _specifically_ they would have to do in the future. Kamui hadn’t released that information from Garon yet, but had informed everyone that it would be a hard road.

She bit her lip, snapping the clip shut, as she thought about Anankos and his own plan. Everything was messed up and it felt like she was using everyone. She sometimes wondered if Azura and Kamui had an inkling about what was going on, but she couldn’t just bring it up with them.

She heard someone moving closer to the tree a few long paces behind her with a slow pace and she stiffened, feeling the crush of embarrassment hit her chest again, tinged with nervousness. She looked to the opposite side as she heard Jakob approaching, but eventually looked his way as she saw him come into view on her right.

He was walking by himself at least, but he needed to use the crutch in order to keep the  strain of walking off of his hip. He was wearing a rather loose, white shirt with sagging cuffs, something that she figured Prince Leo would wear. His hair was down and moved slightly in the small breeze that had started up when night had fallen and the moonlight made him practically glow. His other arm hung down rather uselessly until he began leaning against the tree, slowly adjusting himself to try and slide down to sit comfortably.

Selena clicked her tongue in annoyance before standing up and holding him steady, making sure to avoid his wound. “Jeez! What are you, stupid? You’re going to hurt yourself.” She leaned against him slightly for balance, helped him sink down to a resting position, and kneeled as he slowly adjusted himself to sit comfortably. “Are you even supposed to be out right now?” She leaned back on her knees, staring at him for a proper answer as he returned his gaze.

“Lady Elise and Nyx have repeated to me multiple times that I should be getting some sort of exercise. A bit of walking will not kill me, Selena.”

She winced, eyes narrowing, and frowned in his direction, clip still in her hand. She shook her head as he offered a proper response and leaned back to her previous spot, situating the clip back in her hair. “Well, _forgive me_ for being cautious, Jakob.”

“I don’t understand why you’re using that tone with me, Selena,” Jakob muttered, annoyed at her callousness. “First you avoid me for four days, now you take up an argument? If you aren’t interested in my companionship, then by all means tell me so that I won’t be wasting either of our times.”

“It’s not that,” Selena murmured, pouting. She opened her mouth to apologize, but stopped herself before she could embarrass herself and closed it quickly. “You just should be more careful.”

“I am not putting myself into danger, Selena. That time has passed,” Jakob said quietly, a slight cautiousness to his tone. The pair sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jakob began moving his left arm, stretching it.

“You did put yourself in danger, though.” Selena grit her teeth and grabbed her wrist, digging her fingernails into skin. “You almost died, yet you’re using a calm tone like this?” She looked at him, eyes blazing with emotion, and he paused in his motion, slowly lowering his arm. “You can’t just… do that.”

“Selena,” Jakob sighed, shifting himself slightly to look at her fully, “you almost died once. You almost sacrificed yourself for another.”

“That was completely different!” Selena gasped out in indignation. “I wasn’t even close to dying!”

“And I was?”

“Yes!” Selena watched him balk at her rapid answer as she answered with an exasperated, yet pained tone. “Gods yes you were so damn close!” Selena felt tears prick her eyes as Jakob blinked a few times and leaned back, surprised at her response. She shook her head, the hair unpinned by clips framing her face, mouth turning into a frown. “You were so close everyone was telling me that you _were_ going to die. No hopes of otherwise, no happy dreams, no…” She sniffed, biting her tongue. “No hopes of otherwise…” She looked up at him, angered again, but with tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. “You don’t understand anything of what happened, yet you claim that everything is ok? Look at yourself! You can’t even move!”

Jakob angled his head slightly sideways, narrowing his eyes. “You’re thinking only of yourself in this, Selena. When you fell into that lake, I was scared too.”

“It was so different, Jakob,” Selena choked out while shaking her head slowly. “The situations were so different. You didn’t… You didn’t have to watch me jump in front of an enemy to protect another.” Her voice became quiet as more tears decorated her skin. “You didn’t have to watch me slowly bleeding out on the ground. You…” She let out a sob, curling inwards on herself, clutching her wrist tighter to her chest. “You didn’t have… to watch your skin become so pale and ghost-like. You didn’t see your heart beating, slowly dying. You didn’t see me trying to hold you together, feel the fear of you dying, try in vain to heal you…” She sunk lower to the ground, quietly crying as her body shook with emotion as she gripped her arm with rigid fingers. “You… you didn’t see how even the healers gave up on saving you… how you looked so… so _dead_ lying there in your bed… never to awaken…” She choked back another cry. “But I did…” She leaned back against the tree, covering her face with her forearms. “You didn’t see how Kamui cried over you, you didn’t have to feel the pain of losing a close f-friend, see the dire s-situation of the injury, have to slave over healing, f-feel utterly and terribly _worthless,_ watch as everyone gave up…” She inhaled with shaky breath, letting out another moan. “You… you lost so much _blood,_ you were s-so pale, and everyone said y-you were going to die.” She wailed, feeling the past emotions wreak havoc in her heart again. “How was I s-supposed to react!?”

She felt a small tug against her wrist and was greeted by the (almost) warmth of Jakob’s chest as he wrapped his other arm around her back, holding her head against his neck and embraced her as tightly as he could without causing himself physical harm, leaning back slightly against her weight. She froze with a light gasp, startled and surprised by his action, feeling her tears stop for a second. “I’m sorry, Selena…” Jakob whispered, voice close to her ear. “I… didn’t consider your feelings about my actions.” She sniffed and wrapped her own arms around his back, holding him closer and gripping the fabric of his shirt in her fingers as she let out another sob, unable to hold back her emotions, burying her face further into his neck, surely crying as hard as she had while embracing Camilla. He patted her head, smoothing out her hair in a hopefully comforting way as she cycled through various emotional stages while keeping her steady with his other arm.

He was _warm,_ the opposite of how he had been while still asleep, and the fact comforted Selena, even if it was only slightly. She felt her neck get hot as she hugged him closer, comforted further by the feel of his heartbeat through his clothes. He stopped patting her hair, holding her head close to his neck, shifting his legs to sit in a more comfortable position.

Eventually, the strength of her sadness faded to a duller emotion of calmness tinged by embarrassment at her sudden display of emotion, but it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would have been. It was almost comfortable to be held in Jakob’s embrace, though she figured he just felt guilty about her despair.

He sighed deeply and Selena could feel him slouch slightly against the action. “I am sorry, Selena, but…” He paused, voice quiet enough. “If such a thing happened again… If you were placed in such a situation again… I would do what I did again without a second thought…”

Selena shook her head, hugging him tighter, conveying her fear of the subject as she whimpered, voice muffled by his shirt collar. “Don’t… don’t do that…”

“I’m sorry… But if it was between you and I, I would rather it be you that lived.”

Selena shifted her own sitting position, moving her arms up slightly. “Please don’t do that, Jakob…” She moved her head up to rest her chin on his shoulder. “If you died… for real… I don’t think I could… take it…” She already had to imagine what it would be like if he had died. She did _not_ want to live in that sort of reality. “It would hurt too much…”

Jakob breathed in slightly, without a calm air. “If you were to perish… I would go through the same amount of pain.” He let his hand fall from her head to her shoulders, hugging her tighter. “If such a thing happened…” He paused, words fading away to nothing. He shook his head, leaning slightly against her. “I don’t wish to imagine it…”

 She shifted her head again, feeling the warmth of his neck against her cheeks, and breathed in his scent, free from the smell of death and sickness. “I’m sorry…”

“You needn’t be…”

Selena felt a slight tone shift occur as leaned his head against hers, moving his hand slightly against her back, and she inhaled sharply yet quietly, her heart stuttering for some reason. It was a foreign feeling and she couldn’t place why she was feeling so nervous (really, she had no clue, no clue at all). Her neck continued to feel hot, but she wasn’t really uncomfortable, not completely.

“I’m… I’m sorry for avoiding you like that… you didn’t deserve that,” Selena muttered after composing herself, feeling bad of her previous actions. “I felt nervous… After seeing you like that… I don’t know…”

“I can’t completely fault you, but I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt,” Jakob answered almost as quickly. “Though, I am glad that I’m alive to say this.”

Selena nodded her head slowly, letting her arms fall slightly. “So am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you may have noticed two new things with the structure of this fic: One, it's part of a series now. This is so that I can add drabbles to the side, yet still allow it to exist in the same continuity. I've written one, but I have a few others planned, mostly involving Elise. Two, there's a chapter total. This is within one chapter, give or take, of what I assume to be the end goal. I have the rest of the fic plotted out and now I just have to write it! I love how there's an end in sight.  
> So, with that planning, I believe I'll finish this by the time school is going to start. Ah college, when your wallet is strangely empty... I'm about two chapters ahead right now, so once I finish writing it all out, I'll probably update it a bit quicker. Hopefully. But for now, the Friday format stays.  
> Also I really want to know, has anyone cried while reading this? That's my goal, really. When I wrote fics when I was younger, I would live for the comments that damned my writing and called it 'terrible, i cried all night'. Those were the days.  
> Happy reading~ or maybe not


	16. A Blind Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a panic attack in this chapter, so if you're sensitive to that stuff, be warned.  
> First canon divergence.

Surprisingly enough, Selena hadn’t been embarrassed about her show of emotions. While time definitely dulled things along with a night of sleep, she was relieved to find that letting out her feelings actually helped. Maybe she should do that more often.

She visited Jakob the next day due and proper, making sure that Felicia and the few others who had bugged her saw her performing the action of her own free will. He seemed to appreciate her visit, but pretended otherwise of course. Kamui laughed at that, brushing off his actions as Selena pretended she also didn’t care too much and was just making sure he could walk or else he’d hold her back in battle later on.

Nyx sighed as she grabbed Selena’s arm, making sure her shoulder had recovered well enough with a few delicate touches. “Well, you should be good. You don’t have to worry about nearly as much as your buddy here does.”

“Buddy?” Selena deadpanned, but she was still curious about what Nyx was referring to.

Kamui tapped her fingers together, biting her lip nervously. “Well, while Jakob’s vitals are all fine thanks to the healers, his hip, ribs, and other muscles were generally an afterthought and by the time the healers had enough energy to tackle that, it was too little too late.” Selena gulped nervously, but Kamui waved her hands, stuttering that it wasn’t really that bad. “He’ll have walking problems for… at least a few months… And his left arm will be… unusable in a swordfight. He can only lift it so far, but he’s doing a lot better!” Kamui balled her fists, fervently arguing in favor of her retainer as Jakob sighed, trying his best to block out the dismaying thoughts.

“He also needs some breathing training, so we’ve had Azura working with him for the past few hours and that’ll continue for as long as his lungs and ribs need in order to function properly,” Nyx concluded while turning to face Selena better, arms crossed. “All in all, this is much better than what we expected.”

“Anything is better than being dead, Nyx,” Selena deadpanned yet again, but Nyx shook her head quietly, eyes closed.

“Well, I’m happy with Jakob’s progress,” Kamui chirped while embracing her retainer carefully and Jakob cautiously returned the action with his good arm accompanied with a nervous smile. “It’s going really well.”

“Well,” Jakob muttered as Kamui leaned back, “my heart’s been hurting since last night, so I’m wondering if Selena did a faulty healing job.” He gave her a pointed look, a teasing expression.

Selena huffed, crossing her arms, and marched toward his bed in an exaggerated fashion. “Ha! I did perfectly of course! It’s probably just the fact that you were walking yesterday when you shouldn’t have been! Of course. It’s only obvious that it wouldn’t be fault of mine, but of yours.” She turned her head quickly as Jakob shot her a new look.

“Oh gross, it’s getting worse now that you’re standing next to me,” Jakob drawled, bored, and feigned a raised arm of disgust, leaning back slightly. “Maybe you radiate dark energy that hurts your victims.”

“Dark energy? Don’t you mean dark magic?” Selena teased lightly. “Besides, after that near brush with death, you must have touched hell’s flames, so I bet you’re the one giving off dark magic.” She laughed, leaning closer with a smirk on her face. “Suffer more.”

“Gods, you’re too close, you’re _breathing_ on me,” Jakob sighed, looking away in rejection. “If I have such dark energy, then why aren’t you in pain, hm?”

Selena leaned back and sighed, putting her hands on her hips while ignoring his question at the same time. “If your heart hurts, then maybe it has something to do with your ribs?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like the pain I had during the first day of recovery,” Jakob murmured while placing a hand over his chest, wary of his wound. “It feels more like ache, so I wonder if it’s a strain…?”

Kamui placed a hand over her face, dragging down roughly. “Ohhhhh my godsssssss are you serious right now? Are you actually serious? Oh my gods.”

Selena grimaced in Kamui’s direction, wondering at the cause for her slight outbreak. “What are you going on about…?”

Nyx sighed, but waved her hand at Kamui, conveying something that Jakob and Selena weren’t privy of. “Jakob, I’ll look over it later, once your visitors have left. However,” she sighed and shot a sideways look at Kamui and the both of them shook their heads, “I don’t know if you’ll like the results if I even end up discovering anything.”

“As long as I’m not going to die, I don’t particularly care,” Jakob muttered, crossing his arms in boredom. “Do what you must…”

“Be a little more thankful at least, jeez,” Selena chastised him, tapping his forehead slightly, much to his annoyance, and he batted her hand away. “Nyx helped you out a lot. Besides, it could be something serious. As much as it pains me to admit, I’m not the best healer ever.”

“You’re far below my rank,” Jakob teased her, blocking an angry attack after the comment as Selena huffed with indignation.

“No, I don’t think it’s anything serious for his health,” Nyx muttered with confidence. Kamui shook her head.

“Well, I guess that was enough time being insulted here,” Selena sighed and crossed her arms, taking a step back from Jakob’s bedside, watching his expression morph from slight enjoyment to disappointment. “Though, I’m still better.”

“You wish.”

Selena gave a wave to Kamui, starting on another topic. “Lady Camilla and I will be planning for the next excursion tomorrow, so I’ll be heading to the strategy tent. If you have any additional information…?”

Kamui shook her head, a sigh on her lips. “Nothing I haven’t shared.” She shared a look with Nyx and the both of them hung their heads, almost in a comical fashion.

Over the next few weeks during her various trips to the surface to slowly make ground, Selena’s team hadn’t run into any kind of resistance, though Niles’s group had once and so had Xander’s. Hoshido definitely knew that Nohr was up to something and the vanguard had to tread carefully and strategize with maximum efficiency.

Jakob and Kaze spent the entire duration of their break in the astral realm in order to maximize their recovery time. Kaze recovered well enough, but needed practice to get himself back to top form. Jakob hadn’t been able to train as much, but his wound had fully closed and his stitches were now gone. Kamui had elected Laslow as his trainer as she had noticed how anxious Selena had been about Jakob returning to routine work and suggested the retainer work on her own bow practice with Niles.

She hadn’t been too happy working with the adventurer, but at least he no longer teased her about her sensitivity to everything. After Mozu had gotten injured in a raid, Niles had seemed more tense than normal and it was Selena who was able to do the teasing. She wondered if the retainer had actually started forming feelings for the younger girl (though she supposed Mozu wasn’t really a girl, she was older than even Beruka).

As soon as Selena allowed that thought into her mind, she began noticing the same sort of romantic feelings between other groups of people. Kaze and Azura had definitely been hanging out more often, Charlotte had seemed to be calmer around Prince Xander, gold-digging aside (though whether feelings were involved, Selena didn’t know), and Beruka and Benny seemed to talk often enough. Selena had once brought it up with Beruka, but just as soon as she had suggested that, Beruka brought up the relationship between her and Jakob, so she quickly shut the conversation down.

Though there seemed to be things like that, there were also a lot of people who didn’t seemed to be as interested in a romantic relationship. Laslow and Peri seemed to be getting closer as friends. Whether or not Laslow liked her in that way or if she was even capable of having romantic feelings for another Selena didn’t know, but she figured that Peri would be crushed when it came time for them to leave.

She remembered Odin’s conversation again, wondering if either of them would decide to stay behind. She didn’t know if she would like that much, but it would be their choice in the end.

Kamui had slowly been changing the members of the army into different classes that she called ‘end game classes’, probably because they were her ‘end game’. Selena had been reclassed into a bow knight and had trained with Gunter and Silas a bit on how to fight properly from a horse. She had some experience from Ylisse, but her skills had rusted with time and the practice was welcomed. Laslow had remained as a hero and Odin remained as a dark knight. A few others had hopped classes; Peri had changed from a great knight to a paladin like Xander and Keaton had picked up a skill from hero, learning Sol just like Selena had.

After healing properly enough, apparently only leaving a thick scar behind (complaints of a sore heart had stopped, though something still peeved him), Jakob had been reclassed to hero via use of the ‘friendship seal’. After discussing the meaning of the seal with Kamui, the princess revealed that the marriage seal had also provided the same option for Jakob, apparently glowing with the potential, but she had less of those and opted for the friendship seal instead.

“Why does the marriage seal work? He’s not married, or even in a relationship,” Selena mused to the princess after she explained the predicament.

“I’m wondering if it was improperly named,” Kamui answered swiftly. “The friendship seal is self-explanatory; I’m thinking his teamwork with you and Laslow has unlocked the hero potential within the seal.” She paused, looking into Selena’s eyes with a strong gaze. “My theory is that the marriage seal represents romantic as opposed to platonic attraction. I don’t know if it is single-sided or if both parties have to requite. I’ll have to test that out properly.”

Selena didn’t really feel like continuing the conversation (she was rather hungry after all), so she had waved and wished the princess luck. She thought about the subject a few more times after that of course, but hadn’t come up with anything conclusive. She nearly told Kamui to test it on her and Leo, but she figured that would be a little bit too tongue in cheek.

She wondered if she could use that seal to determine Laslow’s true feelings, or even Niles and Mozu. It had a lot of potential. She chuckled and rubbed her hands together, forgetting for a second that she was reminiscing in the middle of a strategy meeting and Charlotte bumped her shoulder, bringing her back into the present.

Kamui cleared her throat and repeated the Izumo plan again, making sure that all of the members of the army knew what was going on. “This is neutral ground, yes, but we have been invited by Archduke Izuma, so it is likely he wants to work out something with us. He would have no need to call us otherwise…”

“It is slightly out of the way when it comes to our final destination, but now that we have this route open, we are able to avoid the lair of the Kitsune that Azura has informed us about,” Xander clarified and Leo dipped his head. “After that, we will aim to reach the Eternal Stairway and our pathway to Hoshido is secure.”

“Do we have information on Hoshido forces, or are we still majorly in the dark?” Laslow brought up, hand to his chin.

“My Father has informed us that they have managed to distract the brunt of Hoshido’s army with their land siege and though they are lagging behind our progress, it should allow us to take Hoshido with only base defenses,” Xander answered swiftly, smiling at his retainer. “We have also been informed that Prince Takumi’s force has since disbanded and is likely fighting my Father’s force, so we don’t need to worry of a large group of Hoshidan fighters.”

“I’m sure Hinoka still has a group, though,” Kamui added nervously, “but our pathway is clear.”

Charlotte crossed her arms and shot Xander a look. “It’s sudden that another kingdom wants to talk with us. Did he say what he wanted?”

“Just a dinner invitation,” Kamui sighed, her face scrunching up. “According to Kaze and Azura, that’s just how he is, even if it is unbecoming of another country…”

Selena shrugged, dismissing the nervousness. “He can do him. We’ll just go through and be on our way, right?”

Leo and Camilla both nodded, voicing their agreement at taking as little time as possible to arrive on Hoshido and get the war over with. Selena set her jaw and looked at Laslow, who quickly looked away with guilt. Hopefully they could get Anankos over and done with swiftly.

. . .

Izumo looked fairly nice and Azura made the comment that Hoshido also had appearances like this as the group walked under a blanket of leaves and sunlight. Selena figured she should enjoy the scape as long as she could. It almost seemed like Chon’sin and Selena wondered if there were other parallels to her home world in the other countries. While it wasn’t quite yet the season for sakura flowers, Selena could see the various trees as the vanguard walked to the castle. There were also a few rosebushes, flowers colored pink as if to imitate the tree’s flowers, and Jakob casually gave one to her after noticing a fallen one on the path. He sighed next to her, upset about the current situation as he straightened back, looking ahead toward the front of the procession. “Why must Lady Kamui keep me in the back like this…?”

“Because she doesn’t want you being hurt in an ambush of course,” Selena answered back quickly, brushing off the flower and tucking it into her armor. “We’re also holding up the back. There’s no other choice.”

Jakob frowned, almost pouting, and he shifted his sword on his belt, still not used to the weight on his left hip. She watched him move his arm tenderly, remembering how, in the weeks spent at the astral realm, his reach had not really improved. He could lift it almost parallel to the ground, but she and Laslow agreed that he would do much better in single handed combat. At least the hero’s shield reigned on the shoulder. His walking pace was slightly askew as well, though apparently it wasn’t as evident in a fight Laslow had informed her. “I would feel more comfortable if Lady Kamui remained in my line of vision.”

“Quit whining for fuck’s sake,” Niles muttered from his position in front of the pair. Jakob’s head snapped forward, quickly wrested from his own thoughts, and Selena groaned at the adventurer’s tone.

“Niles, watch your language,” Mozu snapped while hitting his shoulder, not really doing much, but Niles stepped away from her all the same, a bored look on his face as he kept his arms crossed behind his head.

“Come on, aren’t you tired of Mr. Whiney back here complaining about not being able to throw himself in front of an attacker again?” He looked back, a smirk on his face as Selena glared at him. “Look, Miss Tsundere here is getting triggered.”

“Watch your tongue, Niles,” Selena spat through gritted teeth, feeling her temper quickly rise from zero to a hundred. “You have no business judging me or even talking at all, so why don’t you just shut your mouth?” She narrowed her gaze further as Niles smiled, but, from what she had heard, he only really liked preying on those who had ‘sheltered pasts’ and no doubt he sensed from Odin that the three weren’t exactly ‘sheltered’, so he turned away and let her be.

She felt Jakob stiffen next to her, no doubt anticipating harsh words, but she kept her mouth shut and simply continued to glower. _“Gods, what a prick…”_

“What was that…?” Jakob muttered. “I can’t understand Hoshidan.”

“Huh? That wasn’t Hoshidan,” Selena muttered. “That was… the language where I came from.”

“Sounds like Hoshidan to me,” Jakob answered, careful to avoid letting emotion into the conversation. “I wasn’t aware you knew the language.”

“I wasn’t either. I guess our… countries are more similar than I thought.” Selena paused for a second to consider language barriers and world similarities again before she turned to Jakob again, noticing the front of the procession stopping to share words with some guards. “Is this language the language Nohr primarily speaks?”

“Like Hoshido, Nohr also communicates through two languages,” Jakob answered again, looking ahead toward Kamui. “I’m certain you’ve heard our second language, though we use them for equal purposes, save treaty work.”

“Hm.” Selena paused with the line and considered the implications. “I don’t really want to learn a third language.”

“As do I, but purpose often exceeds want,” he sighed grimly, watching Kamui wave her hands at the guards with animated motion. “Though, the primary use of this common language has proved beneficial for the army, so it is what we have used. Most Nohrians are more proficient in this language when it comes to the written word besides.”

“I think I’m good in both… My mother’s country specialized more in this language, but I learned the second language since it was useful as well…” Selena sighed, letting her head hang. “Reading… ‘Hoshidan’ is a pain though, especially with three character alphabets.”

“Why does Hoshidan need three alphabets?” Jakob mused, confused. “Both Nohrian and the common language only have one.”

“Beats me. Probably to make the writers cry.”

After a few minutes of still silence, Jakob hummed to himself. “Perhaps it would be interesting… to converse with another in the Nohrian tongue again. I almost feel as if I am falling out of use, though it was my primary language. My mother beat it into me.”

“I hope you don’t mean literally…” Selena winced, curling her arm around her midsection.

“Oh, no,” Jakob smiled toward her, emotions completely blank. “That was the maid’s job.”

“Eugh…”

Selena didn’t know many specifics about Jakob’s past other than how he had been abandoned to serve in the castle and then quickly transferred to the fortress where he met Kamui. How old he was or how long it had taken to get transferred she didn’t know. He must not have been that young if he could still remember his parents well enough, though she figured… abuse wouldn’t be easily forgotten.

Though he talked of how Kamui had saved him, and Selena knew he was being literal, sometimes the reality that some people had parents who hated them was just shocking. Her parents gave their lives for her…

“Though I may complain about Gunter’s practices with teaching, he was a kind figure for Lady Kamui. He was… the closest we’ll ever have to a father.” Selena looked upwards slightly at Jakob who was staring straight ahead as if in thought and she looked back, thinking on his words slightly.

“Maybe you never had a good blood family, but you have… friends here, right? So it was all ok in the end.”

“I can’t bring myself to hate my past. It brought me to where I am today.” He exhaled slowly, letting his shoulders sag. “I only wish it didn’t have to come forth from such tragedy.”

“Sometimes it’s the tragedy that makes a person,” Selena muttered, letting thoughts of Grima flood through her mind. She caught Jakob looking at her through the corner of her eye, but ignored him.

Kamui beckoned everyone inside.

The feast went well enough. Selena was lucky enough to be situated near the discussions at the head of the table that occurred between the royals. There was something about Izana that put Selena off, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Jakob seemed to be the same if his clinginess and proximity to Kamui was enough of a judge. His eyes never left Izana and he seemed to caution Kamui of quite a few things.

“Oh, of course I’ll let you guys through my domain,” Izana chuckled, spearing a bit of chicken onto a fork without a care. “I’m not all buddy-buddy with Hoshido. No one really is. Though, I guess only Nestra is all buddy-buddy with Nohr.”

Selena bit her lip and grimaced, remembering the events that had happened there. It had occurred a few months ago of course, at least for them (she was pretty sure that it had happened a few months ago for the surface as well, but she couldn’t completely remember). The Nestrians were probably pretty upset for good reason.

“We appreciate your peacefulness,” Xander said while dipping his head to the Archduke. Azura copied his action and Kamui smiled gratefully toward him.

Izana laughed and took a bit of his meal. “No need to thank me! It’s what anyone would have done.”

Xander and Elise continued to converse with the archduke, mentioning things like tradition, Izumo ways, and things of that sort. Selena wasn’t completely interested, but as she scoped out the guards, something about the soldiers put her off. It was almost like they were _too_ prepared, weapons at the ready and perfectly useable. She thought Izumo was a peace-keeping realm.

Kaze appeared next to Kamui suddenly and whispered something in her ear quietly. Izana seemed questioning in that moment and Selena touched the hilt of her sword. Kamui stiffened and Jakob did the same, faces paling. Elise froze as well, close enough to hear and she shifted away from Izana with an awkward gait, closest princess to him.

Camilla touched Selena’s thigh lightly, warning her of something. Her lady was finely tuned to Kamui’s emotions and, even though it was obvious that something bad had happened, Camilla was a few steps ahead of Selena.

“Archduke Izana…” Kamui started, voice quiet and trying with much difficulty not to betray any fear. “Why has my informant reported seeing the Hoshidan royals captured… Along with an image of yourself and some of your men…?”

Izana was still, face frozen in a calm smile, eyes closed, hands clasped calmly in his lap. Xander shifted back half an inch and Selena could see Jakob’s hand on a knife.

“Well, well… I should have known you had a Hoshidan traitor on your side. How quaint.” He slowly opened his eyes, surveying the table before slowly standing up. His few soldiers shifted forward, hands tightly on their weapons in a ready position. The tone in the room took a tense turn, and Selena found herself standing up along with Princess Elise, Prince Leo, and Arthur.

Izana waved his hand with almost lightning speed, sending a clouded spell toward the younger princess, clothes whipping around in the sudden wind such a spell would conjure. Elise screamed as Leo quickly countered the attack, rendering it null. Arthur raced forward and pulled Elise back straight into the next, empty, table.

“Such a tactic… Only one person would resort to this,” Leo spat out, voice low and threatening with his hand raised for another spell and Brynhildr open, as the rest of the table occupants stood up with both fear and apprehension.

“Heheheh… Such a studious pupil… It was such a shame you were never truly under my studies or else I could have made you into such a… sly soldier.” Izana’s image wavered, along with those of the soldiers, and his form faded, revealing a gangly Nohrian mage, hand gripping a Nohrian tome.

“Z-Zola!” Elise gasped, getting up from the table and balling her fists. “What…? Why would you try to-”

“I am no fool to your actions, Lady Kamui,” Zola hissed quietly, ignoring the youngest princess and turning to face the manakete. “Only a traitor would take the specific actions that you do. Sparing our enemies, advancing slowly, operating with Nohr’s best interests farthest from your mind. You are clearly an enemy to Nohr and I will deal with you as such!”

“Zola!” Xander boomed, unsheathing Siegfried, and a wave of darkness pulsed through the room, sending Selena’s nerves on edge. Zola stepped away, turning to face his new opponent with an annoyed look across his face. “You will pay for this treachery to the Nohrian crown!”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll have my tracks well covered,” Zola laughed, taking a step back as his men edged closer. “I’ll inform King Garon that there was an unfortunate altercation in Izumo, but the Hoshidan royals have been secured. Sadly, his children lost their lives, but it was all for the greater good.”

“Zola!” Camilla shouted, quickly unsheathing her hand axe and throwing it with blinding speed at the sorcerer, barely missing him. He barely seemed affected, but Selena wondered if that was also more sorcery.

He shifted his hand, gesturing to his army with a harsh tone. “Men! Take positions!”

“My army! Split up into your groups!” Kamui stepped back as people began flooding into the small room. “Jakob, Selena, Kaze, Azura, Mozu, Niles, Effie, and Arthur, make your way to the dungeons!” She shouted over the crowd, unsheathing her own sword while holding her dragonstone at the ready. “Everyone else, wipe out these traitors to the Nohrian crown!”

Jakob seemed annoyed that Kamui was sending him off yet again, but he was needed in the small group; it would likely be farther from any harsh battling. He grabbed Mozu’s arm, the closest group member to him, and tugged her away from an attack as the two fled from the room, quickly disappearing. Niles followed, haste to his step, and Selena leapt over the table, following the retainers into a darker hallway, lit by faint candle glow.

They had been dining on a higher level. Whether Kamui would try and lure everyone lower to avoid injury and get the vanguard onto a better playing field, Selena didn’t know, but all she was focusing on was following the speedy Kaze, who knew where they were going. Selena listened to Effie and Arthur peel off of the main group to deal with reinforcements to the left. Hopefully they would be fine.

“Selena, there are two enemies to our forward right,” Kaze muttered slowly. “Azura, support us.”

At least the ninja was well-versed against Nohrian enemies, Selena thought to herself dryly. She watched as he loosed a few shuriken, attacking a few armored horsemen. She followed up quickly, feeling extra motivated by Azura’s pendant.

Jakob, Mozu, and Niles had already situated themselves in the dungeon area by the time the three of them arrived and Mozu was picking Izana’s lock while Niles worked on the other Izumite soldiers.

“Wow, I didn’t think anyone would actually come, haha,” the real Izana wheezed from his captivity, clothes greyed and eyes dim.

“We didn’t have much of a choice,” Mozu mumbled as she freed the lock and swung the door open.

Jakob looked around, listening for more enemies as Kaze and Niles loosed a few more doors. “Selena, there are enemies above… If they come down here, we risk losing the prisoners.”

Selena nodded her head, beckoned for Azura to follow them, and she and Jakob ran up to the previous level, quickly entering opposition. More horsemen had appeared and were much more difficult to take out than last time. While Selena’s current armor was lighter than the hero armor, it also allowed her to take more damage on the ground. Jakob seemed anxious about that, but let her do her business as he took on a general.

Azura quickly moved to support Jakob in his endeavor, leaving Selena to finish off one of the horsemen, starting quickly on the second before he could move to Jakob’s position and compromise him. Even if he had healed, there was still risk of easy injury and Selena wanted to avoid that as much as possible.

The walls of this hallway were constraining and Selena wanted to leave them as soon as possible. She gasped as the enemy’s lance sliced her side, clutching it quickly before feeling anger flood her veins. She quickly stabbed the enemy’s neck since he was also as equally vulnerable as she was.

She felt her legs freeze, nearly tripping, and realized that there was a maid in the area with access to staffs. She shifted, ripping her hand off of her wound to gain balance. “Azura, go after the maid! I’ll help Jakob in a second.”

Azura nodded quickly, taking her lance up, and headed to where the maid was, quickly disappearing.

Jakob fended off a lance blow, shoving the general back a few steps, before running past with Selena, who had recovered, leading the general into the more expansive room of the first floor.

Selena heard the clanking of armor behind her and swiftly turned, noticing two more generals guarding a doorway. She cursed under her breath before taking up a space behind Jakob, prepping her bow for an attack. Luckily Azura had managed to avoid those enemies or else she would have been in trouble.

Sounds of fighting rang out above the pair; Kamui’s group must have lead the enemy onto the second floor. Hopefully they would stay there; Selena had noticed some balconies available for movement while ascending upwards for the banquet, but the army couldn’t handle all fighting on the first floor unless they moved outside, not unless the three of them were separated.

Jakob blocked another attack, making sure Selena was well protected as she loosed an arrow, hitting the general’s unprotected part of his leg. Jakob leapt forward, taking the moment of distraction, and quickly finished his opponent off with a stab to his neck. Blood ran down his blade and spattered on the wood. Though she would have liked the next battle to go as easily, she doubted such a thing would happen. Selena spun around quickly, prepping another arrow, to deal with the two generals. She quickly hit one of them in the hand, the axe user, and took a step back as Jakob took the front position.

It was bad enough that Selena didn’t have her horse available for this fight, but now she had to take the rear guard, something she wasn’t entirely used to yet. Jakob parried another blow from the lance user, jumping back to avoid an attack from the axe wielder, nearly getting his arm cut. Selena raced forward, slicing the axe knight’s shoulder armor off and Jakob finished him. He wasn’t dead, but there was no way he would be able to battle and would likely prefer to escape with his life, Selena hoped.

The lance knight gripped his weapon with both hands and pushed forward, hitting Jakob roughly in the chest, knocking him to the ground. His sword clattered a few feet away. Selena rushed forward again, blocking an attack from hitting Jakob with urgency, knocking the tip of the lance away from her stomach, and she gouged an angry mark into the general’s cheek. She attacked again, but was only able to damage his armor, and he hit her wound with the end of his lance, electing a grunt of pain from Selena. She gripped her side, taking a step back to let Jakob take the vanguard again, feeling the worry ebb slightly.

She grabbed her bow again and watched as Jakob managed to deflect a lance attack before smashing some of the armor, aiming for Selena’s previous blow, and crumpled the general’s shoulder armor, leaving a bare spot. He stepped back, avoiding another attack, as Selena loosed an arrow into the general’s skin.

He wouldn’t go down so easily, _of course_ Selena thought dryly, and swung with a wide arc, catching Jakob’s shoulder in his wake. He let out a yell of pain, quickly grasping the wound, and knelt down, mind probably clouded by pain. Selena watched drops of blood decorate the floor and she froze, heart dropping.

_He was lying on the ground again, surrounded by a steadily growing pool of blood, chest open and vulnerable, completely still._

Her skin seemed strangely cold and her vision eliminated everything but the sight of Jakob in front of her and the general bearing over him, prepared to deal a deadly attack.

_She watched him as he took a death blow meant for her and she felt the fear of the situation play into her actions as she finished the enemy off without a care before rushing to his side, trying to patch him together as quickly as possible, sword forgotten to the side._

Selena choked back a scream as she sped to the general, slicing his neck with a shaky hand and poor form, ignoring the sound of armor hitting the ground. She dropped her sword, fingers unresponsive, and quickly knelt down in front of Jakob, breath coming in shaky gasps as she dug in her small bag for bandages, ignoring the confused, yet pained look he gave her.

_The staff slipped out of her fingers and her breath caught in her throat as she watched Jakob’s life fade away in front of her as everything turned red._

Her skin was cold and she felt _terrified_ for a reason she couldn’t place. Her hands just wouldn’t cooperate and her legs were shaking even though she was sitting down. She undid the bandage quickly, though with sloppy form, and raised her hands up to treat Jakob, ignoring the fact that his shirt was still near the wound and the tears slowly falling down her face, and mumbled to him that he would be fine, she just had to bandage him and everything-

“Selena. Selena. I’m fine,” Jakob forced out of his mouth, pain disappearing, as Selena let out a choked sob. She didn’t stop, slowly slinging the bandage over his arm, so he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stop her actions, and the bandage fluttered to the ground, slipping out from between unstable fingers. “Selena! I’m fine!” He looked almost angry, but concerned in a way that seemed almost foreign, something that hadn’t really happened before.

Selena shook her head, breaths coming in shaky gasps, and she let out a sob, shoulders shuddering. “N-no, I n-need to heal you so that… so that you’re ok… s-so that you don’t d-die…” She felt her limbs lose control and she slumped against his chest, arms limp in front of her as her body shook with an uncontrollable fear. Her vision turned black, but she was certain that she still had her eyes open. Her breaths came in rapid beats, uncontrollable, and her lungs hurt from the exertion. She could faintly sense Jakob saying something to her in surprise, but the idea of it was quickly lost to the raw fear that flooded her veins. After a few seconds, minutes, had passed, Selena felt the light touch of Jakob’s hand on her back, holding her securely, and she felt his cheek pressed onto her head.

After a minute or so of struggling to get her breathing back to a stable rate, Selena eventually pulled away, vision back, though her limbs were still shaking. “I-I’m sorry, I s-shouldn’t be like that in battle…”

“It’s fine, Selena.” She noticed that Jakob’s shoulder was no longer cut and shedding blood, and she watched as Niles followed Mozu around the corner. He must have healed Jakob while Selena was out of it.

“It was a sign of weakness… I shouldn’t let myself do that…” Selena muttered while gripping her arm with her right hand, looking to the side with embarrassment. She could feel her hand begin to steady, though it would take a minute or so before she was ready to fight again. Hopefully nothing happened in that meantime, though she didn’t sense any more enemies.

She looked up to find Jakob wincing, an expression that she had rarely seen him wearing, and she jerked, startled and fearful. He shook his head, looking down, almost in an admittance of his own weakness. “It’s my fault that you reacted in such a way… You were scared of repeating that event…” His shoulders sunk even farther and Selena reached out as if to comfort him, to tell him that it wasn’t the case. “Many days I’ve thought that if I were to sacrifice myself, then I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout. No one would miss me except for Lady Kamui and even then she would move on. Gunter would mourn me for a week perhaps and then his life would drag on. Felicia and Flora would miss me, but they would forget quickly. If my life could be better used in service of another, as it clearly is, then I would have no regrets.”

Selena’s eyes flickered with pain and she wondered the depth to Jakob’s thoughts. Perhaps she didn’t know him as well as she liked.

“But… after seeing… seeing and learning how you reacted… How Lady Kamui reacted… How everyone else had at least been listless… I felt selfish.” Jakob shook his head and looked slightly up, a guilty expression on his face, a nervous smile, and Selena stiffened, leaning her hand onto the ground. “Perhaps my life isn’t worth more than others. Perhaps everyone would move on. But… I would rather leave a positive mark on others’ lives… At least those who matter.” He straightened up fully, crossing his arms at the wrists. “I… Don’t believe I’ve fully apologized for… impacting you in that way. Leaving that burden on you.”

“I haven’t either… For leaving myself in such a position,” Selena added quietly. “What you said, ‘that you would do it again if such a thing happened again’…” She bit her lip and looked to the side, nervous. “Do you really hold my life in such a regard compared to your own…?”

“Yes.”

Selena looked down slightly as she felt a chill run through her body, feeling her heart drop again.

“But, if it is for your sake, I will try to stay alive and avoid placing such strain on your heart.”

“I think your heart is the one taking more strain,” Selena chuckled, tinged with sadness as she tried to lighten the mood. “You haven’t told me what Nyx’s result was.”

“Ah.” Jakob’s ears turned red and he looked away with embarrassment. “It’s not important. Not here.”

“Well, as long as nothing’s wrong, then it’s fine I guess…” Selena stood up with slightly weakened legs, stumbling a few paces as Jakob reached out and offered assistance. The conversation had helped her regain her stability, calming her down, and she walked over to where she had dropped her sword. “We should take a lap and make sure that Azura is well protected, or at least make sure the opposite hall is empty.” She rubbed her face, sighing with a sad annoyance as she stared ahead, trying to finish regaining her composure.

“I’d like it if your side was healed first,” Jakob commented quickly, picking up his own weapon. “It may only be a flesh wound, but if we run into any more generals, things could get messy.”

Selena dipped her head and uncorked a concoction that was in her bag. She had almost considered giving it to Jakob in that minute of terror, but her mind hadn’t exactly leapt to the obvious solution with haste. She drank a few sips of it quickly, feeling the healing power quickly mend her side. It felt uncomfortable of course, but it didn’t really hurt like a bad healing job would.

There didn’t seem to be any sign of enemies, so Jakob and Selena were able to relax slightly, leaning against the wall as they watched the other corridor, blocking any enemies from ascending to the second floor where they could prove troublesome for the main force, though even then it sounded like the fighting was slowing.

Selena remembered the cold, dark days she had spent in the bad future. Each day concealed enemies, carried a high chance of her dying, and generally sucked greatly. Sometimes the pain of homesickness and the loss of her parents hurt so much she wondered what the point was, especially since the chance of saving their world was slim to none.

It ended up being none in the end, but at least they had been able to save their pasts.

She knew that Inigo, Gerome, and Noire had also struggled with thoughts like that, especially Inigo. Gerome was more casual about it while Noire had been messed up by her horrid mother (though, Tharja seemed much more reasonable in the past, albeit still off her rocker).

Laurent had plenty of issues of his own after he had misfired and had been sent back too far. He had shared with her his loneliness and Selena had rather rudely brushed him off, saying everyone else felt like that too except maybe Lucina. Now of course, she felt bad about it, but she had apologized after the war was over and everyone began to tread back to their old lives. She really had grown as a person since then, she supposed, along with everyone else.

She jumped as Jakob shifted, hand on the hilt of his sword, position quickly moving to a defensive one, and Selena looked around, wondering where the new enemies had come, immediately trusting his judgement.

“Ugh,” Jakob clicked his tongue after muttering under his breath. “I had hoped that reinforcements would have been forgotten.”

“I suppose we can’t all have what we want,” Selena quickly answered before readying her bow, grabbing an arrow with a swift hand. Jakob motioned front and she stepped forward, moving to the other side of the entrance to the hallway, hiding from the new arrivals.

Jakob pressed himself against the wall tightly, sword at the ready, as he waited for the enemy to arrive at the entrance of the hallway. Taking especially careful aim (hitting Jakob with an untrained arrow was not exactly on Selena’s bucket list), Selena loosed her arrow, hitting the arriving general squarely in the hand (one of the few areas she could actually hit a general at the start of a fight). Jakob, taking the opportunity the general’s confusion provided, quickly snuck a blow onto his shoulder, though it barely did any damage. He clicked his tongue and stepped back to avoid an attack.

“Second,” Selena shouted, jumping back, as she noticed another general coming up behind his partner. Jakob narrowly ducked a lance blow and Selena stepped back as the second general began coming after her, second lance also at the ready.

They were trying to split them up, Selena realized with a pang of annoyance as she shifted her grip on her bow. There was no way they could take a general down by themselves and the enemy knew that, so Selena quickly ducked behind the general and made her way into the small room that lead from outside, loosing an arrow toward her opponent’s head. She slung her bow back over her shoulder, quickly shifting to her sword and blocking an attack as the general dashed toward her with a strange burst of speed. Prickles of energy ran through her arms and Selena gasped and took a step back, quickly moving her hand to avoid muscle cramp.

She watched as Jakob unsuccessfully blocked an attack and hit to the ground, sword spinning away toward a wall. Selena fought the urge to shout his name as the general attacked her again, sending her another step back toward the wall. She shifted to completely defensive, nervousness pushing her actions, and watched with relief as Jakob avoided an attack and recovered his sword, jabbing at his opponent.

“Nohrian traitor. King Garon will enjoy your bloodshed,” the general cursed threateningly at her as she focused on him again and Selena fended off another attack before attempting to slice his shoulder, unguarded through a previous attack. The general hit her arm with a quick hand, knocking her own sword from her grip, and Selena took a step back, grabbing her bow as her heel lightly tapped the wall.

She watched as Jakob collapsed to the ground again and pinned, immobile.

Her opponent quickly smacked her bow out of her fingers with the butt of his lance. Selena dashed forward, hoping to wrest the weapon away from his grip with a burst of inspiration, but he caught her attack and threw her to the ground. She hit her shoulder with an awkward movement, rolled, and gasped in pain as the general kicked her gut, sending her against the wall. He knelt down nearly as quickly, before Selena could recover, and grabbed her neck with a swift fist, lifted her up with inhuman strength, and slammed her against the wall. Her head exploded with colors and pain and Selena lifted her hands up quickly, grasping at the general’s armor, trying in vain to dismantle his grip from her throat. Her feet touched thin air and she felt anger that her height had finally disadvantaged her. She gasped, a pained, constrained noise, as he tightened his grip, unmoving from her attempts. She felt the panic of lack of oxygen begin to eat at her focus and she slid her hands over the armor.

“I’ll enjoy watching the light fade from your eyes, traitor!”

Selena’s legs kicked in the air uselessly; she was unable to do anything to the general, even with her arms scrabbling at his plates and gauntlets. Her vision began to fade to grey and panic flooded her system. She could barely breathe and her body was becoming so sore, she could almost feel her pulse pounding in her eyes.

“Selena!” She watched, as much as her limited vision could allow, as Jakob knocked away the general’s lance from his prone position, but failed at freeing himself, merely allowing another position in which to lie and watch his partner be eliminated by the enemy. His hand scratched at the polished floors, trying in desperation to escape containment as the general increased his pressure on Jakob’s back. “Selena!!!”

Selena felt tears prick her eyes at the sound of his voice; she didn’t want to die, especially not like this, not where Jakob would also fall. Energy spent, her hands fell uselessly to her side as her ears became awash with white noise and her legs ceased movement, her eyes casting a full tunnel vision. Jakob shouted something at the general, voice pleading and unlike anything normal. Naturally, nothing happened, and Jakob’s tone took a fever pitch.

She hated that the last thing she would see was the general’s satisfied expression at her demise. She hated that she was unable to at least be confident in the fact that Jakob would be ok, because clearly he wouldn’t.

_This is so unfair… at least let him live…_

Her world faded to black as Jakob screamed, carrying a tone she had never heard before.

As if no time at all had passed, she opened her eyes again, gasping for air and coughing all the while, a feeling of warmth at her chest. Her eyes slowly focused as she turned her head, noticing a pile of red to the side, and she realized, as she looked upward, that she was staring up into the eyes of Ryouma, high prince of Hoshido. Jakob held her in his arms, checking over her neck and other wounds with a frenzied pace, fervently ignoring the Hoshidan royalty behind him.

“Ryouma…” The youngest, _Sakura,_ Selena thought to herself, cautioned with a small voice as the oldest brother slowly walked over to the pair, grasping the lance of the fallen general, while Hinoka gripped the other, face calm.

 _Oh gods, alive only to die_ Selena figured dryly to herself as she shifted her arm.

“If we don’t finish them off, we’ll only regret it when they target us,” Takumi muttered to Sakura, hatred in his gaze, as the youngest princess cast a nervous glance over to the two wounded Nohrians.

“Please… “ Ryouma paused, eyes narrowing as Jakob began to talk, voice almost as quiet as Selena’s no doubt would be. “Please at least allow me to have a few last words.” His words were oddly strained and contained a strange, choking emotion that she couldn’t place. She shifted, trying to sit up off of his lap, but Jakob cautioned her otherwise, pushing her back down slightly. “You blacked out from lack of oxygen, please don’t move…”

“I’ll allow you ten seconds,” the prince said, voice deep with malice as he shifted the fallen general’s lance with a hefty movement and Selena flinched. Jakob held her tighter as if protecting her, though neither of them were really safe when faced with all four of the Hoshidan royal siblings. She looked at Jakob with soft eyes as if to be comforting and he returned her gaze with a pseudo strength and a small smile that wavered as Ryouma stepped closer. She rested her head back down, looking at the youngest princess with a blank gaze, accepting her fate. She couldn’t speak, so it didn’t matter.

“S-Selena… I’m sorry for everything that has happened, whether it was my fault or not,” Jakob began, voice still quiet and brimming with a bit of fear, as he leaned all the lower, fear causing him to shake. “I… I really do care about you… I know an end was predetermined, but… I’m glad that I got to meet you…” He breathed in slightly as if to add something, perhaps a jab to the Hoshidan kingdom, but Sakura spoke up as he opened his mouth, Ryouma’s lance at the ready.

“W-we don’t really need to k-kill them… do we? She can’t walk and he’s also wounded…” She flinched back as Takumi turned to face her, angry and rigid, with authority to his pose.

Hinoka took a step forward, testing the waters. “It’s only because of them that we escaped, Ryouma. Whether or not they were coming back to get us, well… We’re still here.”

Jakob curled in further, covering Selena protectively while his hands shook as Ryouma paused, lance still in the air, as he considered the elder sister’s words.

Takumi shrugged and crossed his arms, a bored yet angered look reflected in his eyes. “I would rather they be gone. They’re more useful to us dead than alive at any time. They’re top Nohrian soldiers after all, that much is obvious.” He must have been talking about the quick work of the generals, save the reinforcements. The ones from before must have been guarding the holding cell.

Ryouma sighed and lowered the lance while considering his sisters’ words, holding them with equal weight to his brother’s. “They will be more use to us dead than alive...”

An arrow stuck to the wall near Ryouma’s face and Sakura screamed as Hinoka flinched. Takumi stepped back, uttering a warning, but the high prince barely moved. He clicked his tongue and gripped the lance with a steady hand, turning slightly to lock gazes with his enemy and siblings. “Retreat. We must escape.”

Selena caught Hinoka’s gaze with hers, conveying a silent thanks as the princess hesitated to let Sakura and Takumi traverse ahead of her, and the royals fled through the open doors, leaving the two generals dead on the floor behind them, Selena and Jakob safely alive.

“Jeez, you two can’t even handle your own with anything, can you?” Niles groaned, mussed up from defending his own corner. Selena noticed his wounded arm and ripped sleeves as he lowered his bow, opening defenses. “Scream a bit louder next time, Jakob, so that I can assist you with proper attention. And Focus. And… delight.”

“Hurry up with your damn work, Niles,” Jakob snapped, shifting back while keeping Selena steady as Niles walked over and kneeled down in front of her, checking her neck and pulse. Mozu appeared through the doorway and checked over Jakob, making sure that he was at least in half proper condition.

“The hallway is clear. Azura’s informed me that Lady Kamui’s trapped Zola and is dealing with him now,” Mozu muttered, checking his shoulder wound quickly before moving on to his legs.

“Thank the gods…” Jakob muttered under his breath, both in response to Mozu’s words and the fact that Niles started healing Selena’s neck and the green glow bathed the four softly.

“Hah…” Selena whispered, choking out her words as she looked up at Jakob with a teasing expression on her weary face. “Were you really so worried about me…?” She laughed quietly as Jakob looked embarrassedly to the side.

“I would rather not lose a friend any time soon.”

“Hm.” She would have expanded on her words had her voice not have felt like fire, but she figured resting  would ultimately be for the best. Niles and Mozu shared a blank look before Niles turned back to his work and Mozu stood up.

“Well, let’s get you back to the astral realm for some more healing,” Niles sighed after a few minutes of casual healing, standing up with some effort and shouldering his staff before holding his arm, blocking a cut. “Mozu, go get Lady Kamui. It sounds like we’re done here.”

“Right away!” She dashed away after a small salute, leaving Niles, Selena, and Jakob to quietly sit and lick their wounds. Selena leaned up, resting against the wall, and let out a sigh at the effort.

Seeing the Hoshidan royals in the flesh was something new, at least like this. She almost felt bad about targeting them for a lure, but after seeing what Prince Ryouma was capable of, she didn’t feel as bad. She couldn’t blame them for wanting to wipe her and Jakob out, but it was still her own life. She looked over to where the generals had fallen, wondering what Zola had told them to get them to cooperate.

Perhaps he had some reason to want to attack them. Selena didn’t know Kamui’s strategy, but she had disobeyed direct orders from Garon multiple times. Maybe she had an idea of what was going on. Despite whatever happened, Selena felt that Anankos would be arriving soon if any of the strange fighting, Garon’s slipping sanity, and emerging betrayals were to judge.

She felt that she, Laslow, and Odin should tell Kamui the truth soon, for the good of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a struggle for me, but I got it in the end. Took me a while to edit it.  
> So, I'm at an impasse with Charlotte/Xander. I kinda like it I guess, but at the same time I feel like Xander could get someone else. I don't ship him with anyone in particular, so I was wondering what the common consensus would be. Here's the link: http://www.strawpoll.me/13205995 If you think someone who isn't on there should be with Xander... Uh, comment I guess? I'm new to the polling thing.  
> There are other pairings I'm having problems with, but I feel like I'm struggling less with them as opposed to this one hahaha.  
> I feel like I was going to comment something really cool here, but then I went to bed and forgot it. It was something about Jakob probably.  
> Also, I've had thoughts of a sequel running through my mind, but that would be a bit far off. Also school would start up by then, hahah.  
> Happy reading~


	17. A Way to Yearn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny enough, I started writing this chapter around my friend's wedding, so I was able to pull a bit of inspiration for this.  
> This chapter took me forever to write and is pretty long (13k words) so I'm not very far on the next chapter. I had my tooth implant stuff on Wednesday, so I'm even more behind T-T I hope next week's update doesn't have to be pushed back.

“I’m surprised your vocal cords are in proper shape,” Nyx murmured while Selena hummed a few bars from Elise’s sheet music as she adjusted a few things. “Niles is not known for proper healing work with anything more than a cut.”

“He only healed the bruises,” Selena explained while handing the music back to the youngest princess and nodded politely, a smile on her face. “Azura was the one who helped me with exercise and proper healing and everything like that. I mean, it took a bit of course, I couldn’t speak well for the first week, but it’s fine now.”

Elise smiled, looking over the sheet music again herself. “I’m glad everyone is healthy for this event. Big sister would be upset otherwise.”

“Well, it’s her special event anyway, there’s nothing to be upset about,” Nyx explained to Elise, but was smiling herself. “Elise, I suggest you only practice for a few more minutes. We may need more hands for the preparations.”

“There’s no need, Nyx,” Charlotte smiled, finishing with a paper flower while Beruka strung some decorations across the mess hall. “There are plenty of hands available and Princess Elise needs to make sure her skills are in top shape. Practice will only help her.”

“Yea! I’m totally ready!” Elise cheered while waving the music in the air, spinning around in place excitedly. “I’m gonna wow everyone here!”

Selena nodded while she started humming again while helping Beruka pin up the fabrics. “Azura and I will make sure to provide the proper accompaniment. Who else was helping…?”

Elise stopped turning and faced Selena with a smile. “Silas said he had been trained in choir for years because he was hopeless with instruments, so he’s gonna be the alto.”

Selena wasn’t sure how someone could be bad with instruments and still sing on key, but she figured questioning it wasn’t smart, so she nodded and stepped down from the chair. “Azura’s the soprano then…”

“I think we have a nice mix of people there,” Charlotte agreed as she started on another flower, pink colored, and brushed a bit of her hair to the side. “Did you say Kaze was assisting with his flute, or was that for later?”

“It’s later,” Elise explained as she headed to the doorway, planning to practice some more. “We gotta have something new for the dance after all!”

“I don’t think we need to worry about spicing up the later event, Lady Elise,” Nyx muttered while looking across the decorations. Selena startled as she heard Jakob yelling from inside the kitchen and Niles snarked something back.

“It sounds like the men are having fun with the cooking preparations…” Charlotte sighed while twisting a stem with a dour expression. “I hope nothing is burnt.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Jakob wouldn’t let anything like that happen even if it wasn’t Lady Kamui’s wedding,” Selena assured her with a nervous smile. “Niles on the other hand…”

“Well, Kaze should be keeping them under control,” Nyx sighed, shaking her head with mirth. “Did you say Benny was helping out, Charlotte?”

“No, he’s doing some renovations outside with Effie and… Azura I think.”

Elise skipped down the hallway slowly, looking at the decorations, before she jumped back as the door slammed open and Silas appeared, wheezing. “L… Lady Elise… I’ve… found you…”

“Silas! Jeez, you scared me! What’s wrong?” Elise skipped over to him, helping him sit down before she followed suit. Selena turned back to hanging up banners.

“Lady Azura wanted to add one last song and since you were the coordinator I wanted to bring it up with you first… She said it was during the dance, not the procession.”

“Oh, that’s fine!” Elise laughed, looking at Selena. “You should probably go talk to her though, Selena, and make sure you know what’s going on. I don’t want you to be unprepared or anything.”

“Of course,” Selena replied, dipping her head. Elise had certainly grown up to be a responsible lady, though she was still the youngest out of everyone. She would have to ask the princess how old she was exactly. Maybe she was Lissa’s age…?

Silas accepted a glass of water from Charlotte gratefully before standing up. “Azura already went through teaching me the basics of the song. It’s mostly a solo on her part and I’ve already got my small section memorized, so I think I’ll go back and help with the cooking. Kamui handed me a recipe she wanted done anyway; said Jakob would know what to do.”

Nyx dipped her head and Silas headed to the back, snapping the kitchen door shut behind him.

“Farewell, young warrior,” Selena muttered, knowing he would get eaten alive.

“Come on, Selena,” Elise said while standing up out of her chair and dusting off her skirts. “Let’s go see what Azura wants. We can replace ourselves with… Peri and Flora.”

“Ok. I hope they’re not doing anything important,” Selena added quietly to herself, but followed Elise nonetheless.

Azura was standing near Kamui discussing something with a light tone while Kamui laughed. The princess wasn’t dressed in anything important yet, but Selena was sure that once she and Charlotte got their hands on her that would be much different. Camilla would likely assist as well and then the stunning trilogy would be complete.

“Oh Elise, Selena, is there…?” Azura paused and nodded her head, remembering. “Oh, Silas must have found you. Here, just a second…” Azura turned to the table while Kamui smiled, hands crossed behind her back. The songstress handed Selena a sheet of paper with a careful hand. “It’s a mix of both Hoshidan and Nohr music. I’m sure you’ll recognize the Nohrian half, but that’s Silas’s part. I wanted you to help sing the Hoshidan part with me, as I have been informed that you, Odin, and Laslow are fluent in Hoshidan.”

“Apparently we are, but I think Kaze told me it was a different dialect,” Selena reflected, remembering her conversation with the ninja after she had been healed and sent back to the astral realm after the Izumo attack.

Apparently the real Izana had held a proper feast after that, but she and Jakob had returned to the astral realm along with Niles, Kaze, and other injured army members. Nyx had started running tests on her neck while Niles and Flora took turns doing some minute healing. Jakob had been anxious the whole time until Flora finally told him to sit down and get some proper healing himself, as Niles had only been able to do a pinch job.

“Well, accents are always cute,” Azura chuckled, raising a hand to her mouth in politeness, and Selena reflected slightly on Jakob’s. She wondered if he also had a Nohrian accent, though it was likely it was only with the common language. Unless, of course, his family stuck to older pronunciations or whatever. “Is something on your mind?”

“Just wondering how Jakob pronounces the Nohrian language,” Selena answered quietly, lost in thoughts.

“I wouldn’t know, but you could ask any Nohrian,” Azura answered quickly. “I only remember a few phrases, like ‘tengo hambre’, ‘te amo’, and other small words. Stuff to get me by often when I was younger, I suppose.”

“You know what those mean, right…?” Selena deadpanned, wondering if Azura only remembered the words and not their specific connotation.

“Oh of course. ‘Tengo hambre’ means that I’m hungry and ‘te amo’ is a way to say ‘I love you’.” She shrugged and looked to the side. “I can pick up small bits from conversations in Nohrian, but nothing to really get me along. I’m not sure if I should try studying the language either…”

“You’d like to return to Hoshido, huh…?” Selena asked with a quiet voice. She could certainly understand the draw of returning to one’s home, whether it was originally theirs or not. Azura nodded slowly and clasped her hands together.

“I know that is only a small dream, but I have it nonetheless…”

Selena smiled, small and almost invisible, but she dipped her head. “Sometimes I feel that way too. I have to keep my determination! I will succeed in returning to my own home as well.”

“Oh that’s right, you’re not from this continent,” Azura mumbled, looking to the side as she touched her cheek. “Was your own… homeland well off?”

“Well, more or less,” Selena muttered, rubbing her neck. “Better off than Nohr anyway.”

Azura nodded before she shifted her position. “I suppose we should start practicing. The Hoshidan dialect may be different than your own dialect, but I assume you won’t have too many problems singing it.”

Selena nodded in agreement before taking the sheet music from Azura’s grasp. “Well, let’s get this started.”

. . .

Kamui gulped as she faced the large mirror, her room basking in the glow of the sun as Selena, Charlotte, Elise, and Camilla hustled around, trying to make the dress as radiant as humanly possible. Selena tied the bow another time, trying to get Kamui’s hair accessory just right for the occasion while Charlotte worked on the veil and Camilla and Elise tidied up Kamui’s dress. “Oh darling, you look just beautiful.”

“And with this, she’ll really be part of the family!” Elise laughed while straightening one of Kamui’s sleeves. “Just like how it was meant to be!”

“Well, I was the only one left in the dark,” Kamui reflected while turning slightly for Camilla, blushing.

“Well, Father was rather obstinate about such things,” Camilla answered while adjusting Kamui’s front. “But now, he should be more accepting of you.”

“He never did think of me as a daughter… or even a relative, did he…?”

Selena and Charlotte looked at each other, tense about the situation, but Camilla and Elise answered that what Garon thought didn’t matter since they were there for her.

“There. The veil should be positively radiant now,” Charlotte laughed while standing up and setting it on Kamui’s head while Selena struggled to finish with the bow, not wanting to be too far behind herself. Charlotte stepped back and admired her handiwork, hands on her hips with a confident smile. “You look absolutely beautiful, Lady Kamui. Nothing could ruin this day.”

Selena looked away as she finally finished tying the bow in a satisfying way. She could definitely think of a few things, but she wouldn’t say anything; she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s day, let alone Kamui’s, not today when everything finally felt normal and kind. She stood up from her chair and handed the bow to Camilla so that she could pin it to Kamui’s hair with a practiced hand. Camilla put her hand over her mouth, tears coming to her eyes. Selena figured it would be something a mother would do, and… Camilla, for all intents and purposes, was basically Kamui’s mother.

“C-camilla…?” Kamui reached her hand out, worried, and nearly tripped off of the small stool, shoes strange for her. Charlotte steadied Kamui as Selena grabbed her other arm to avoid having the princess knock her veil off.

“Oh, it’s nothing darling,” Camilla smiled while daintily wiping away a tear. “I’m just so proud of you. This will be an opportunity for everyone to look upon the things they enjoy and remember that their lives aren’t only this war. There are good things too…”

Kamui smiled and dipped her head with a mature air. “Of course. I almost feel like I’m rushing this, but it’s a great way to boost morale and Leo thinks so too. Same with Xander and Elise, though Elise was mostly just happy at the occasion.” Kamui laughed, thinking on her private memory.

Selena figured that it was well enough that such a thing was happening. Nothing but tragedy had occurred for the past month and a half and it was necessary that there be an eventual change of pace or else the army would lose it. It was a shame that Shura hadn’t lived long enough to see it, but Selena wasn’t sure how he would have felt in such a situation anyway. Most everyone had been able to move on from that, but the reality of the situation was still embedded cleanly in their hearts.

“Kamui? Are you almost ready…?” Silas questioned from outside her door and Selena quickly stood up, along with Elise.

“I’m… Close, I think,” Kamui answered without her normal confidence as she saw Selena and Elise head toward the doorway. “Where are you two going?”

“We gotta prepare, Kamui!” Elise laughed while opening the door much to Silas’s embarrassment. “We’ll leave Big Sister and Charlotte to do the rest! I’ll watch you cry later.”

“I-I’m not going to cry at all!” Kamui huffed while blushing with indignation, though Selena wondered how strong her words were as she turned and followed Elise outside of the bedroom, taking one last look at Kamui’s wedding dress.

There was no way she would have such a dress at her own event, though she couldn’t deny that it looked beautiful, especially on her. Selena hoped nothing would go wrong or else Kamui may be upset and Camilla would be multiple times that.

She wondered if the prince had even proposed properly or if it had been an agreed on consensus, though she figured she would never truly know that answer, as it was something that only the royal family really needed to know. Perhaps Odin or Niles would know, or maybe even Jakob as Kamui told him near everything that happened, but Selena wasn’t really _that_ interested.

Silas held Selena back before she could trip on the last step of the staircase, though she brushed him off and crossed her arms, acting as if nothing had happened.

Azura clapped her hands together at the base of the stairs. “Wonderful! It’s a shame we can’t have a piano for this as well, but Kamui shouldn’t have to provide for her own wedding. I’m glad with how our practice has turned out, so I’m certain we’ll be fine.”

“Is there a specific place you want us to set up?” Silas prompted as Elise ran off to fetch her violin. “I know the procession is going to be under those tents, but I was just wondering if there was a specific location…”

Azura looked around before nodding, much to Selena’s relief. “We’ll be to the right side of the tents. Effie already cleared out an area for us to be and Odin arranged some music stands for you two and Lady Elise. Have you been able to memorize the words, or do you still need some help?”

Silas poked his fingers together, nervousness apparent on his face. “I’m not as gifted with the Nohrian language as other noble families are… My family dealt with trade, so I’m more versed with the common language.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, Silas,” Selena sighed while whacking him lightly on the shoulder as he stepped forward, embarrassed. “You can speak it and it’s a lot easier to read words off of a page than say something unique.”

“How about you, Selena? Are you comfortable with your lines?” Azura turned to the bow knight and Selena crossed her arms, huffing.

“Of course I’ve got it all down. Something like this is no problem for me after all!” She looked to the side as Azura tilted her head.

“I got my violin!” Elise cheered while arriving at the spot. “I just gotta tune it and then I’ll be ready and we can practice for a few minutes.”

“That sounds wonderful Lady Elise,” Silas muttered, looking to the side where Niles, Mozu, and Arthur were adjusting a few chairs. “I suppose we should get that over with…”

“What? Are you nervous?” Selena teased while staring into Silas’s eyes. He looked away with more of a blush adorning his cheeks and he shook his head unconvincingly.

“It’s just… If I mess up then Kamui will only remember my mistakes! How can I do that on such a special day?”

“You haven’t messed up yet, Silas,” Azura comforted him with a light pat on his shoulder. “If you keep that in your head, then you won’t make a mistake. Besides,” she continued, looking up at the treehouse, “I’m sure that Kamui is only happy that you’ve volunteered for such a role.”

“If you say so, Lady Azura…” Silas sighed and followed Elise and Selena to the designated area and the group began practicing properly with Elise after she tuned her instrument.

Selena didn’t know how suitable this song was for a wedding. It was a few shades of sad and seemed to be the opposite of something that should be sung at a wedding, but Kamui had apparently cleared the song and Azura had gone so far as to recruit them. Perhaps the Nohrian part was happier or something, Selena supposed. It would balance it out anyway.

Listening to Silas sing in Nohrian was definitely interesting. Whenever she had heard the language within the capital city it was always in hushed tones, or far enough away to where even if she understood what they were saying, she wouldn’t be able to hear. Here she could pick out a few specific words that she had slowly picked up over the course of her five years of service, but it wasn’t like she understood it any better. Hopefully Azura knew what it all meant or this could be an embarrassing event.

She practiced a few of her verses with Azura in ‘Hoshidan’ and smiled, satisfied that their voices continued to blend together fairly well. Elise provided a bit of small accompaniment and quickly started on her solo as Azura and Selena stopped their verse, a welcome pause in the middle of the song.

All in all, the practice went well and Selena wasn’t sure why Silas was so nervous anyway; his voice was quite strong and he was a good singer. Not as good as she was anyway, but there were advantages to having a male singer. Of course, Azura could beat anyone, but Selena didn’t feel upset at bowing to her superiority, at least in that respect.

After they deemed practice over, Azura went off to do something with Kaze (Elise chuckled at that, hand covering her mouth, but said nothing) and Selena decided that she may as well begin prepping herself (she needed to assist with dinner, so she’d get properly changed after that). She had a nice outfit reserved for such an occasion anyway.

. . .

Kamui wasn’t a bad dancer by any means, but Selena wondered if this specific couple’s dance was meant to be on the easy spectrum. Leo seemed like he had no problems keeping up, and she knew that he had been taught by both Xander and Camilla, so his own level was comparable to professionals. Beruka leaned against her shoulder, probably bored of the event because her own definition of ‘love’ still had kinks to be worked out, though Selena wasn’t particularly stimulated herself.

Camilla and Charlotte had made the dress to be flexible so that Kamui wouldn’t stumble or anything related during any part of the night, but it still looked beautiful. Selena felt a bit of pride toward her lady; she certainly knew how to do most tasks without fatigue and her skill level in each was enviable.

The wedding itself had been typical. Nothing bad had happened and they had been quickly wed with the aid of Xander providing the religious aspect as he was the prince. Selena knew that the royal family wasn’t too involved with things like that, but tradition was tradition. According to Azura and Kaze, Hoshido seemed more religiously oriented, though Garon was certainly an outlier, worshiping Anankos and everything.

It still gave Selena chills.

Charlotte tapped Selena on the shoulder and she turned around, rather bored. “Peri’s getting tired with the food, so I was wondering if you would be fine starting your shift a few minutes early. Jakob said he would get started once the dance between Kamui and Gunter was over.”

“Oh right, there’s that too…” Selena murmured and stood up. “I’m fine starting right now. I’m not much of a watcher anyway.” Charlotte dipped her head and took Selena’s seat, resting her back as Selena started off for the mess tent, nearly bumping into Peri as she exited with a cake, heading off to the side table.

Flora and Mozu were currently working the kitchen, though it seemed as if Flora would be over soon and Mozu seemed to only just be getting started. There were plates set up with some food items and there seemed to be a large pot of soup cooking on the open fire, Selena noticed as she stepped back to assist the villager. Flora stepped out of the way, removing her apron, as Selena began preparing herself. “The soup is almost ready, but the meat needs to be tended to…” She looked around, noticing that only one person had come to help. “Where’s Jakob? And Kaze?”

“I didn’t know Kaze was coming, but apparently Jakob will be a few more minutes,” Selena explained as she began chopping vegetables for the salad as Mozu ran to the meat. “I didn’t know Kaze could cook…”

“He’s doing the spices. Apparently there are some people who would like to try a Hoshidan flair and Azura is too busy to assist.” Flora set her things to the side while she exited the kitchen, exhaustion on her face. “I hope he isn’t late…”

“He usually isn’t,” Mozu assured the maid while Flora flashed her a thankful smile and exited the mess hall, leaving the two to cook in relative silence.

After a few minutes of preparing the salad, Selena watched Kaze come in and begin seasoning sections of the meat while Mozu prepared them for cooking. Selena added some nuts to the salad and stuck it to the side, beginning on the bread.

“You’re not a bad cook,” Kaze started, watching Selena slide the dough into the stone oven. “I’ve had your cabbage rolls before, but I figured that would be your specialty, the way you talked about it to Jakob.”

“Hm? I’ve cooked it before. Why remember that specific time?” Selena prodded while beginning another set of bread. “Is it because we were competing or what?”

“It inspired me to have a competition of sorts with Azura,” Kaze chuckled, setting aside a spice bottle. “Though we weren’t as spectacular as either of you, it did bring us closer together with thoughts of our homeland.”

“Huh,” Selena murmured, letting Kaze know that she was at least partially listening. _“Hoshido must be an interesting place if you think on it so, especially when surrounded by so many Nohrians.”_

 _“It remains even now my homeland, though I have turned and sided with Corrin,”_ Kaze replied swiftly. _“I hope to one day return and see it again with a proper explanation for my brother.”_

 _“Why are we talking in Hoshidan?”_ Mozu prompted as she shifted a few of the steaks. “It’s easier to talk in the common language, yet you two are talking with two different dialects…”

“I suppose it is a little hard to follow, but I doubt I would have much of a problem conversing with you in Hoshidan, Mozume,” Kaze assured the villager. “I have been to many places within the realms of Hoshido and I have discussed many topics with many people.”

“I don’t recognize Selena’s dialect from anywhere, though,” Mozu muttered, slightly disappointed at her lack of experience. “You guys talk too fast.”

“Well,” Selena sighed, shifting more flour into the dough, “it’s not like we’re trying to hide what we’re talking about or anything. It doesn’t mean much.” She looked up as Jakob entered the mess hall and realized that she must have been working for at least ten minutes now; it hadn’t felt as long as that.

 _“I assume most Nohrians are not fluent in our language, save perhaps Prince Leo who is quite studious, so I wonder what Jakob’s reaction will be to this, hm?”_ Kaze chuckled, opening a different bottle of spices. _“Though we have talked much over this past year, he is still rather suspicious of me. I am curious.”_

Selena smirked while watching Jakob narrow his eyes in bored annoyance. _“I wonder. Though you both claim to be Lady Kamui’s retainers, no doubt he still has that competitive spirit. Perhaps you should just give up and be Azura’s? I’m sure she would appreciate it.”_

Mozu gulped as Jakob entered the kitchen, quickly preparing himself and turning to the other small desserts. “Guys…”

“Aw Mozu, it’s not like we’re talking about treason or anything,” Selena laughed, slightly disappointed that she hadn’t continued the joke. “Right, _Suzukaze?_ ”

“If you all are apt to conversing in Hoshidan, then I suppose I’ll have to switch to Nohrian?” Jakob deadpanned, still concentrating heavily on his work. “Would that satisfy you?”

“I don’t know enough Nohrian to keep on a conversation…” Mozu sighed, wringing her hands before turning back to the meat. Jakob asked her something in the target language and she shook her head before muttering a few small words. “I’m sorry, I can only reply in common or Hoshidan.”

Jakob hummed, turned back to his work, and said a few more things to Mozu, in which she nodded her head. “I suppose it’s something.”

Selena sighed. Two could play at that game, though she supposed she already started it. She turned to Jakob after sliding the new dough into the oven. _“I suppose you have your own specific dialect, huh? Does it make you feel special? Do you use proper honorifics with Lady Kamui or do you forgo them even then?”_

Jakob paused, looking to the side in thought. Selena didn’t doubt he had studied bits and pieces of Hoshidan, likely to protect Lady Kamui in such an instance where it was required, but there was no possible way he knew enough to understand her, even slightly. He replied quickly in Nohrian, probably nonsense. Selena set her jaw, the process of keeping track of the single and double object pronouns quickly tiring her out. How could she respond to something she couldn’t understand?

_“This is turning out differently than I would imagine, but not like I would admit as much to you. Even then, I’ll still win.”_

Kaze held back a laugh as he listened to Selena’s retort before he and Mozu retired to the storeroom to organize the food, bringing the soup with them.

Jakob opened his mouth, about to respond once again in Nohrian, before he shook his head with a sigh. “It would be more fun if you could actually understand what I was saying to you. No doubt your reaction would be priceless.”

“What did you even say?” Selena huffed, starting on another load of dough. “I barely said anything worth a mortified reaction.”

“Oh, nothing at all~” Jakob hummed and smiled antagonizingly and turned back to his work, leaving Selena to stew over what he meant.

“Looks like they’re done with the dancing,” Kaze commented after looking through the window. “I assume we’ll be exchanging places with those designated as servers in a few minutes.”

“My bread isn’t quite done yet,” Selena huffed as she exchanged another load. “At least we’re not really behind schedule.” She looked up to see Jakob staring off into the distance with a thoughtful look on his face. She wondered if he was thinking on the wedding.

If it was Odin or Laslow getting married, Selena would have probably felt a bit awkward. It would seem unrealistic. Perhaps Jakob was dealing with feelings like that.

Mozu huffed as she set another salad on the counter. “Well, the soup’s warm and ready, so we can start everyone off on that without a problem!” Kaze murmured his approval.

“I’ll check over each of the meals before we serve them,” Jakob commented as he finished the last pie. “I assume that they weren’t dancing the entire time, but no doubt the food will go quickly and I want to make sure they are each in prime condition.”

“What else is planned for tonight…?” Selena started, looking at both Kaze and Mozu. “I know there’s more dancing after dinner, but I’m not sure what else…”

“A few Nohrian traditions will be executed,” Jakob explained as Selena turned to face him, curious. “I won’t go into details now as I assume there were mostly small speeches in the time that we were absent, but you will see when the time comes.”

“Oh, isn’t there a bouquet thing?” Mozu offered, face lit up with excitement as she clasped her hands together. “Like the wish of luck or something?”

“Among… other things…” Jakob turned away as Selena lifted an eyebrow, confused as his tone. “You’ll see when the time comes.” Selena wondered what could cause vague words like that, but she wasn’t used to Nohrian wedding tradition. She hadn’t really been to any weddings, though she had heard recent accounts of her parents’ marriage before she had found the Shepherds. Apparently it had been enjoyable.

There hadn’t been many happy events in the past and by the time she, Laslow, and Odin had left, no one was really the age for marrying, though a few relationships had formed. She didn’t expect many teenagers to get married anyway and at eighteen she hadn’t expected to go through with that either, though she also wasn’t in a relationship at the time.

She sighed, thinking about the past for a few more minutes as she finished off with the bread and passed it to Mozu. She hadn’t been the most agreeable person during that period of time, but it was understandable at least.

She was a better person now, hopefully, she thought as she went off to change into her more formal dress, quickly shutting the door behind her as she opened her wardrobe, pulling out the dress that Camilla had picked out for her once. The half-bodice had given Selena a few moments of worry when she first tried it on, but it had ended up being fairly comfortable (as far as they went anyway) and had no problems slipping it on even now. Camilla certainly had an eye for fashion.

Selena almost thought the deep, red color of the dress would be a little much, especially when paired with her hair, but as soon as Camilla had held it up in front of the mirror, Selena felt a little more confident. She deftly laced the half-bodice, tying the end into a fashionable bow (having no problems now of course) and quickly slipped up her stockings before she rushed over to the mirror to apply her makeup, watching the blue flowers printed near the end of her dress swish with the movement. It was almost too short for her liking, but mid to lower thigh length was enough for her. She finished her primping before she let her hair down, brushing it out slowly, and clipped the two wing decorations into her hair. She took one last look at the mirror and proposed herself well enough for the rest of the night.

Dinner passed without much incident. Some people shared a few words about the new couple, Jakob being one of them, being Kamui’s longest friend after all, and Camilla mentioned something about her happiness. Selena didn’t feel like saying anything herself so she merely focused on her dinner, thankful that it had turned out well. Laslow made a comment about how he hadn’t seen many weddings while Odin talked about Gerome’s parent’s wedding, describing how a Roseanne wedding differed from a traditional Ylissean one, though he didn’t use the particular terminology in order to get under Niles’s radar.

Kamui stood up and said a few words, gesturing around her, though Selena couldn’t be bothered to listen to the exact words. She clapped at the end of course, watching Camilla and Beruka discuss something with Xander. She wasn’t particularly interested, though she wondered what specifically they were talking about, as it didn’t seem to be matrimony related.

Eventually, Kamui led everyone outside to begin the formal dances and Selena sat to the side, watching Odin, Laslow, and various others enjoy themselves while Kaze and Elise played their instruments (Kaze was fairly decent with a flute) and Azura provided some accompaniment with her voice. She herself was sitting uninterested to the side, arms loosely crossed as she listened to the music. Alcohol was available of course, but she didn’t particularly feel like drinking tonight, or at least right now while it was still fairly bright out, the sun casting a small glow upon the campgrounds.

Laslow danced as well as ever, paired up with Odin of all people while Peri clapped her hands to the side, a smile on her face. Xander stood to the side with Camilla, perhaps discussing something about the wedding, while Arthur and Felicia began to dance. Nyx and Flora also watched from the side, though Selena doubted they would dance, save perhaps Flora with Kamui.

Selena sighed and rested her cheek on her hand, closing her eyes as she thought about how they would be able to deal with Anankos. Even in such an environment, the thought kept on returning to her and she couldn’t shut it out or else risk missing an important idea that could spring up. The thought was unnerving, but nothing came.

“Not feeling up to social interaction?” Jakob slid down into the empty seat next to her and watched the crowd continue to dance. Camilla eventually took Leo’s hands while Xander took a turn with Kamui. “Seems unusual for you.”

“I don’t see you doing much of anything,” Selena commented, turning slightly to look at him. His outfit was as formal as ever, though instead of the typical butler outfit (something he refused to give up even after changing class) he wore a black suit with a blue tie, colored the same as the ribbon holding up his hair. He returned her gaze lightly and shrugged, looking back at Kamui near the center of the dance floor.

“It still feels a little strange. I assume that this arrangement will take a few weeks to fully settle within my mind. I hope I do not make any mistakes…”

Selena laughed slightly, cracking a small smile as she leaned back. “I’d like to be there when that happens…”

Jakob leaned back as well as Selena crossed her legs, adjusting her position. “Why are you not joining in with everyone else, then? Do you have as much of a reason?” He prodded while looking over in her direction.

She didn’t really have much of a reason other than not really feeling up to it at the particular moment. She wasn’t averse to crowds of course and she didn’t feel tired or anything similar, but she just didn’t feel much up to it.

Azura, Kaze, and Elise ended their current song while the current dancers bowed to each other, the formal Nohrian dance concluded. Azura cleared her throat and she and Kaze began a more Hoshidan styled song.

“Maybe it just feels too different. Too off.” Kamui watched as Felicia and Flora began dancing together, making up their own style or perhaps dancing with a traditional ice tribe flair.

“The only thing stopping it from feeling normal is you,” Jakob commented quietly as he watched Kamui dance with Camilla gracefully, a traditional Nohrian skip in their step, something Selena had rarely seen.

Selena exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. Not many things had felt normal since she had traveled from Ylisse, other than war antics. Though, that was probably pitiable above anything else. Sometimes people had looked at her strange, wondering why such a young woman had been the high princess’s retainer, though Beruka had been recruited first, so it had been less of a surprise than Odin who was a few years Niles’ junior.

Of course there were only so many things one could do to heal their mind, but action was usually better than stagnation, Selena figured. She sighed and stood up, stretching slowly as the music winded to a close, feeling the press of the bodice against her spine. She turned, noticing that Jakob looked up with a hint of confusion as she stepped in front of him, sighing with a light smile. “Well, I suppose sitting down won’t help me with anything.” She held her hand out casually and Jakob laughed, looking up at her with a hint of playfulness.

“It figures that you would be the one to ask such a question and I am the one that follows.” He stood up, accepting her invitation with a clasp of her hand, and the pair slowly made their way over to the floor as Azura and Elise began another song, a more traditional Nohrian style dance that had been passed through the generations as Camilla had explained to Selena.

She didn’t know any Nohrian folk dances of course, but she knew nearly all of the Ylissean ones and began moving her feet in such a pattern. Jakob seemed confused for a few seconds before he picked up her rhythm, not copying her style of course, but combining it with the Nohrian flair. Odin and Laslow stopped at the side, noticing Selena’s patterns, and she figured that Laslow would finally feel at ease enough to go along with her. She stepped back silently, tracing the steps that her mother had taught her over various lessons of dancing, feeling satisfied that she had been able to master them so easily. It was probably nothing compared to what Laslow was capable of, but that was different; even then, she knew Feroxi steps, even a few Chon’sin ones, perhaps suitable for Hoshidan music.

Jakob followed her movement, longer legs carrying him a farther distance, and he arrived closer to her front than before, touching her hand with a light movement as she raised it up to turn around him, hands touched with the common Ylisse gesture. At least his right arm hadn’t been damaged or else Selena would worry a bit more with such a routine, though he didn’t seem to stutter with his steps like she thought his hip would bring about. She brought the back of her hand up to touch his before stepping back and following through with another few, quick steps. He gripped her hand and spun her around as soon as she had suggested it, a casual raise of her hand indication, and stepped back, her shoulders against his chest as she followed through with a few more steps, casually guiding him in the right direction as any teacher would.

His hand felt warm against hers and she felt strangely safe within his embrace, though it was only a small dance ‘routine’, so she let her heart release its guards and began to have a properly fun time within the small group. She noticed Beruka watching her to the side when she took her visual notice off of her feet and positioning, the jovial music emphasizing the retainer’s expression as she smiled lightly at Selena, hands grasping small daisies. It confused Selena that Beruka was smiling, though she had become less tense as of late with her, Camilla, Kamui, and Benny’s help, and perhaps others like Kaze and Elise. Jakob slid his left hand onto her hip, keeping her steady as she leaned and dipped with the rhythm of the music, and she recalled the times she had practiced with her father, though the experience now differed with a new partner. His touch was light, though perhaps that was only the bodice speaking, but Selena didn’t doubt such a dance routine was completely new; he was Kamui’s retainer after all. Being skilled with near everything (save the harsh tone) was part of the job description.

She breathed out again and pulled away from Jakob as he released her hip, turning again under his good arm before releasing his hand and taking a few more steps, weaving slight Feroxi influence with the Ylisse tone. Her skirt pulled against her thighs as she finished the action and she found herself slightly tired by the time they had joined hands again, bringing in more Nohrian tone to the dance as they took a few steps forward, reminiscent of a waltz, as Selena touched his shoulder when he held her waist again, holding her to his chest comfortingly. She moved outwards again, holding onto Jakob’s hand with a flourish as she extended her arm out, careful to avoid hitting Odin, who was having way too much fun at the moment. She looked back at Jakob, having mostly been in positions that didn’t allow eye contact, and noticed with a startle that he was _smiling._ It wasn’t one of his fake ones either; the gesture reflected in his eyes and Selena found herself smiling too, though she had already been having an exciting time. It comforted her in a way that nothing else really had and she wondered why his expression made her feel so calm, especially when, after tonight, they would have to return to a troubled reality.

Lately, she had found herself feeling almost at home whenever she was around him. They were friends of course, that much had even been agreed on verbally, though there existed a unique tone about it that seemed slightly off, different than her relationship with Laslow, Odin, maybe even Lucina if she were to stretch it. She tapped her toes a few times, falling into place again as the music took another quick turn, and Jakob took her other hand, leading her expertly through a few complicated steps before spinning her again. Was it just her or was the area getting warmer? Perhaps the astral realm was currently cycling through another season.

They released hands again to perform more complicated sequences more reminiscent of folk dances and Selena watched him turn around, nearly expert form and a calm execution revealing his expertise. After he finished with the movement, he grabbed her hand again to lead her through another step and she found herself blushing despite herself, as if caught doing something she shouldn’t have. Her hair seemed to keep her back from properly cooling down as well; though Camilla had commented that it was prettier that way, it seemed to be an inconvenience in some ways.

She stepped back again as the song took a calmer tone, flowing through some of the older Feroxian steps, and she felt Jakob’s eyes remain on her as he paused with his own movements and took a step back. As she finished with another turn, she caught Laslow’s eye and he smiled with a thumbs up, recognizing the origin of her dance she supposed. She ran through a few more movements as she locked gazes with Jakob, who was still slightly smiling, but with more of a subdued, enchanted look which confused her slightly, but she pushed that feeling aside. The song slowly started to end, Kaze performing a light flute solo accompanied by a few slow notes by Elise, and Selena pushed her right hand to Jakob’s again, mimicking one of the first moves as she slowly walked forward, circling him slightly as he repeated her action, gaze equally locked to her eyes as he slowly stepped forward, the song drawing to a close.

Selena found herself breathing rather heavily, almost close enough to Jakob to be leaning on him, but she didn’t think the song had been that physically exhaustive. He seemed to be breathing heavily as well, though perhaps not as much as her. She gulped and shifted back, opting to look at his shoulders instead of his eyes as she breathed out, trying to steady her pulse. “Hm. Well, that was interesting enough,” Jakob breathed out, failing to conceal his own fatigue as he also looked to the side, standing up just a bit straighter before adjusting his tie. “You have more talent than I credited you for.”

“Well, I’m just that special,” Selena quipped while crossing her arms, a teasing smile on her face, as Jakob sighed with pseudo exasperation, smirking all the while. “Were you blown away by my technique, or are you going to lie and say that yours was better?” She brushed her hair to the side, unpinned unlike her left bangs, and changed her position, giving her feet a rest.

“Well, mine was certainly superior,” Jakob snarked while placing a hand on his chest with exaggerated fashion, “but I have to give you a few points for your speed. Just like in battle.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t be anything slower, not like you,” Selena winked while sticking her tongue out before she turned and adjusted her shoes. She noticed that Azura, Kaze, and Elise hadn’t started another song and wondered what was happening before the soft sound of piano keys rang out across the camp.

Jakob clicked his tongue behind her as she turned around and he quickly assumed a typical ballroom pose, grabbing her hands and placing his right hand on her waist. “Lady Kamui is performing with Lord Leo. Naturally, we have to continue dancing.”

“Naturally.” While she tried to hide it, Selena performed much better while folk dancing. Cordelia had never really found the need to teach her a lot of ballroom dancing and while Camilla was certainly a wonderful teacher, there was no way Selena had as much raw practice as Jakob. It didn’t annoy her too much; while she knew he would lead her efficiently, the thought that she would have to follow him irked her slightly. She shifted her hold on his hand, easing his grip slightly (hopefully the therapy had worked enough to maximize available movement, she would have to ask him properly later) and placed her hand on his shoulder, balancing herself before she could stumble mid-key.

He led her slowly through the steps, one that Camilla had taught her a few years ago (the ‘waltz’, she believed) so it must have been a common dance, and Selena listened as the notes rang through her ears, a slow lilt to the tune. Jakob paused for a second as a note floated off into the air and Selena figured he had heard Kamui playing the song various times throughout the years. She certainly could play the piano well and the calming mood carried well; Odin had stepped off of the dancefloor while Laslow and Azura began dancing together.

Jakob guided her to the side with a small press to her waist and they began turning, letting Selena have a better view of the performers. Leo wasn’t nearly as talented, but he handled the base notes well while Kamui’s fingers skimmed over the white sheen of the higher notes, flicking them with an expert hand. After taking another turn, Selena sighed lightly, moving herself slightly closer to Jakob (without tripping either of them of course, she was better than that) and rested her head on his collarbone, feeling her tiredness morph to a sleepy feeling. He moved his arms to better allow her to lean on him and took over the lead completely, wrapping his arm further around her waist to hold her closer before leaning his head slightly on hers comfortingly. She almost felt like hugging him back, but resisted the urge; it probably wouldn’t be in good form.

After the moment passed (or perhaps it had been longer than a moment…) Selena leaned back again to perform a few more steps as the song quickened slightly in tone as Leo took more of the responsibility of the song before fading away again like the ebbing of the waves Azura so loved. She twirled slowly under his arm, making sure he didn’t strain himself too much, before she joined up with him, touching his shoulder with a light hand as he embraced her again. Her heart still kept the fast pace like before, but at least it had slowed with the steady pace of the song and the rhythm of the dance as Jakob lifted her arm slightly, going through another routine. They spun around quickly, together, before releasing slightly, each taking a step back.

Selena took the moment to look into his eyes again and he blinked quickly before looking away. She realized she must have startled him with the sudden action, but wondered why he would feel so embarrassed in the first place. She hadn’t ever really _looked_ into his eyes she realized, not enough to register anything important, and she blinked with the revelation that his eyes were a dark purple instead of the grey tone she had thought previously. She felt embarrassed at that fact; she had known him for the greater portion of a year and four years previous to that, yet she had messed up on such a small detail? She knew his past, what he thought of others, his reasoning behind that, his vulnerabilities, his fears, but not the color of his eyes?

She took another step, led along by Jakob’s cautious hand, as she debated the facts. She… knew a fair amount about Jakob, she realized while thinking about it more, almost to a strange degree, though she also knew a fair amount about Odin, Laslow… Any of the other time travelers. This, however, was slightly different. Jakob wasn’t one of her childhood friends who helped her save the world (though hopefully he would eventually be up to the task…), but she felt like he almost reached that level. Perhaps her list of acquaintances and friends could have separate, distinct levels that each meant the same amount to her.

The more she let the truth settle, the worse she felt because, inevitably, they would have to part ways no matter what they felt about the situation. She felt her heart sink and her feet skipped a step before Jakob quickly caught her, turning away from Laslow and Azura before they could run into each other. “What’s wrong? Your expression suddenly changed.”

Selena bit her lip, easily catching his worried tone, and looked to the side, nervous. “Just… about everything that’s going to happen.” She shifted her foot to avoid tripping again, feeling Jakob adjust his hand on her waist as he gripped her hand with a tender touch as the music hit a high note and slowed down slightly. “Thinking about the future is making me nervous… How I’m….. How I’m…” She lowered her voice to a near whisper, voice almost cracking. “How I have to leave after it all…” She looked up again to see his response, startled at the emotion shining from his eyes at the prospect, an almost pained expression completing the look.

“I prefer to not think on it… Or else I won’t have the… resolve.” He awkwardly clipped his sentence and looked away, lending Selena to wonder if he was about to say something else, before he turned his head back, blinking quickly a few times. “Though I suppose it’s harder for you to think on. You had to leave everyone you knew.”

Selena exhaled slowly though her mouth and looked down at his chest, both resting her neck and avoiding any awkward eye contact while she mulled over her thoughts. “I suppose I didn’t know many people. I’ve been able to build a temporary home here, however small and rickety it may be,” she chuckled, looking up at Jakob again through squinted eyes.

He smiled at that and leaned his head slightly closer to hers, taking her a step backwards with the music. His breath felt soft on her cheek and she almost welcomed the feeling, to her surprise. “I hope it’s not too unstable or else you won’t be comfortable.”

Selena’s spine prickled at his tone and she smiled, leaning her head just a small inch closer, her hand sliding slightly down his shoulder. “Well, I wouldn’t know what Nohr considers comfortable and what it doesn’t.” She turned with him slightly with the beat of the song as Kamui moved to another section, pedals carrying the notes quietly through the air.

“Hmm,” Jakob hummed, pulling her ever so slightly closer to his chest, taking a step backward. “Perhaps I’ll have to show you sometime after the war. The countryside, anyway, as the capital is hardly the place for sightseeing.” She could have sworn she caught the flicker of sadness in his eyes as he finished his sentence before she sighed and leaned her head against his chest again.

“I’ll make that a promise, then. You just have to help me finish this war first.”

Jakob held her close, his hand around her waist a comforting anchor as the two slowly swayed to the beat of the piano as it slowed down, song coming to a close. “I wouldn’t dream of otherwise,” he murmured, voice close to her ear, a comforting whisper that warmed her heart, even if only for a few minutes, and she leaned back as the song finally ended, Kamui’s hands gliding in the air after pressing the final keys. Selena’s cheeks felt strangely hot, but her heart was no longer squeezing with embarrassment, so she called it a win. Jakob stepped back and bowed lightly, a smile still present on his face, and she noticed that he too was blushing, which was fairly strange.

Kamui stepped back from the piano and Selena turned her head to watch the pair retire from the dance floor, leaving Nile and Mozu to procure their own song as Azura, Kaze, and Elise started up again. Laslow leaned against Selena’s shoulder, startling both her and Jakob, who took a step back with a guilty expression. “Nice _moves_ you’ve got there, Selena. I didn’t realise you had _practiced._ ” He almost gave Jakob a pointed look, but Selena ignored that with a roll of her eyes.

“You watched Lady Camilla teach me, Laslow,” Selena sighed, brushing him off of her as she dipped her head to Jakob and stepped out of the area, Laslow following her. “Though I suppose she couldn’t improve my stamina…”

“Your what? You’re tired?” Laslow teased, voice exaggerated as he leaned against a table. “Boy, I wonder why.”

“I’m not tired!” Selena huffed before she fetched herself a glass of water, gripping the handle of the pitcher carefully. “I’m just thirsty like anyone else would be after dancing with such vigor.”

“Yea I’ll bet,” Laslow commented dryly while looking back at the dance floor as Peri began dancing with Xander, Jakob standing to the side with Silas. “What was the saying? A tall drink of water?”

“…You’ve been talking to Niles too much,” Selena sighed, exasperated and slightly embarrassed, before finishing her drink.

Night fell rapidly enough, though most of the army still enjoyed the evening outside, save Kamui and Leo who had retired for the night and Kaze. Selena hadn’t seen Azura around anywhere, but she also hadn’t been looking very hard.

Selena crossed her legs at the base of the tree, holding a small glass of wine (a delicacy that she hadn’t had often, Ylisse’s didn’t quite suit her tastes), and watched the pond again. The full moon had been a welcome sign and Selena quietly wished Kamui and Leo luck with their lives, taking another sip of her drink.

She looked up as Flora appeared to her left and waved, a small smile joining the welcome, and Selena gestured for the maid to sit down, unperturbed with her company. She didn’t know why Flora of all people would like to join her, Felicia seemed more likely. Selena shifted over to face her better, careful of the edges of her dress and stockings, and leaned on the tree with her shoulder, feeling the bark rub on her skin. “Something you want to talk about?”

“It’s calmer over here, so I figured I could sit with you,” Flora explained calmly before smiling, clasping her hands together in her lap, shifting the material of her own dress. “Odin was getting a bit loud, so I figured it was time to walk away.”

“What’s he even doing right now?” Selena sighed, almost shaking her head at the notion.

“I think he’s playing the ‘never ever’ game with a few others.” Flora sighed. “And alcohol.”

“Well, Odin’s done some obscure things, so I think he’ll be ok,” Selena sighed in agreement before taking another sip of her own drink. “Who’s he doing it with? Niles?”

“Yes, but also Laslow, Charlotte, Effie, and Jakob.” Flora shrugged as Selena shot her a look. “I think Jakob was dragged over by Charlotte, and Laslow wanted to spend time with Odin. Effie wanted food.”

“Well, whatever they do is their own business I guess,” Selena shrugged before looking back at the pond and toward the boarder forest. “Wait, is Effie even of age?”

“My thought was that it wouldn’t even affect her, but I’m not sure,” Flora answered fairly calmly for the situation. “I think Laslow will supervise them well enough.”

“I dunno, usually he’s the one getting unhinged,” Selena muttered before taking another drink. Certainly, Xander had enforced a ban against Laslow at one point, but that was necessary. Perhaps Laslow had matured slightly throughout these years if Xander only found one time to punish him. “Oh whatever, it’s not my problem.”

Flora chuckled at that before she looked at the sky, moonlight shining on her face. “You pretend not to care, but usually that’s the opposite. Almost like someone else I know.”

Selena clicked her tongue before setting down the almost-empty glass; she knew who Flora referred to of course, how could she not? She had often heard that she and Jakob were quite similar, mostly from Odin and Laslow who knew her well enough and had astute enough observational skills to register that Jakob’s kindness had to be well earned, but Nyx had made the comment a few time as well. It didn’t bother Selena particularly, but she thought it was weird that people noticed their ‘pseudo-rudeness’ and not any other qualities. Niles called her a tsundere of course, but that was neither here nor there. “Well, that’s where the similarities stop. He’s more conforming than I am and can’t make logical decisions when he’s all emotional.”

“He’s only conforming with people he cares about or trusts,” Flora qualified with a calm air. “And I do recall your emotional reactions from a few months ago quite well.”

Selena gulped, her face turning, as she looked away. “W-well, there’s other things that aren’t similar! I’m not rude to people I haven’t met, I usually trust my friends without too much work, I’m way more outgoing in general and I actually like hanging out with people!” She turned to face Flora, satisfied with her list.

“The latter two answers are correct of course, but Jakob isn’t adverse to social interaction. And you’re not the nicest person to people who say one wrong thing.” She tilted her head, a glint coming to her eyes. “And I do believe most people have to work hard for your trust. No one but Camilla, Beruka, and Jakob have been able to get close to you, and I have a feeling you haven’t completely opened up to the former two.”

Selena set her jaw, feeling embarrassment flare up just like earlier. “What makes you say that?”

Flora smiled sadly and shook her head before looking back at the pond and inhaling slowly. A few long moments passed before Flora began to speak again. “The way he looks at you… Interacts with you… Things like that… I’ve never seen him open up like that to… anyone. Even Lady Kamui, though we cannot afford to get so close to her. We are her retainers after all.” She looked back at the surprised Selena and smiled and she could have sworn that tears shone in the maid’s eyes. “I think… even if something like that were absent… Jakob would still choose you over her…”

Selena’s spine straightened in surprise and bewilderment and she looked to the side quickly, as if to see if someone was looking at them in jest, before she turned to face Flora again, still confused. “What…? What are you talking about…?”

“You two are… something special,” Flora whispered, sadness prickling at her voice, and she squinted her eyes. “I hope you never lose that connection…?”

Selena looked to both sides quickly, avoiding Flora’s gaze, before she looked over to where Odin, Laslow, and their group sat, noticing Jakob snap something quickly to Charlotte who sighed and looked away, eyes closed.

She blinked before looking back to Flora, still confused, and the maid sighed and shook her head before standing up. “No matter how much I delude myself… the truth is clear. You’ve won, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes.” She wiped her eyes quickly, scattering a few small tears, before she bowed slightly, much to Selena’s further confusion, and she shifted her legs as if to stand up. “I will respectfully bow out so that neither of you have the heavier heart.”

“Flora…? What are you…?” Selena stood up, grabbing her glass, as Flora began to walk away, but she hesitated to follow and eventually became alone, staring out in the air, trying in vain to understand Flora’s words. She sighed and looked down at the glass in her hand, turning it and watching her reflection warp with the curved crystal.

“Have I really won anything…?” She looked up at the moon, expecting no answer.

. . .

“I do not know the social or mental benefits to dancing and I think you are making everything up,” Beruka deadpanned as Benny sighed and rubbed his neck as Selena looked on with amusement, though the shorter retainer had been talking about her.

“N-no, it allows you to get to know a person better… It’s useful… and fun…”

Beruka closed her eyes and sighed, no doubt deliberating over the effectiveness of such an action and whether it would benefit her at all. “Though I have since given up assassin work, my form must be perfect in order to protect Lady Camilla. Would dancing improve my balance and movement?”

Selena shrugged before finishing her second glass and setting it on the table to the side. “It probably would, but it wouldn’t just show itself at first. Like anything, it takes practice. I doubt you’d be bad at it though since you have good balance already.”

“Perhaps I will then consider it after the war is over,” Beruka concluded with a small smile and a confident nod. “If it takes as long as you suggest, then there will be no use starting now when other techniques are of far greater use.”

“Well, whatever works for you I guess,” Selena muttered while she leaned back on the edge of the table and looked around, observing the few groups of people who continued to stay up. “At least get into it though or else it isn’t as fun.”

“Like you and Jakob earlier then?” Before Selena could deny her accusations with an embarrassed air, Beruka crossed her arms and nodded. “I will aim for that destination then.”

“W-What’s with that comparison?” Selena spluttered while looking at Benny for some backup, though the man merely shrugged and looked away.

“It’s a decent one, I think…” Selena stared at Benny with an incredulous expression, but shook her head, ignoring his further comment.

“I think you guys look too far into things…”

“Well, what about everyone else in the army?”

“What about them?” Her look must have convinced Benny to hold his tongue because he turned away, muttering an excuse, and Selena sighed before straightening up again. “Whatever. I should head to bed soon, my head is starting to hurt a bit.” She also needed a few million glasses of water or else the morning could be a bit painful. Benny and Beruka shrugged to each other before splitting ways.

Selena turned around a few times to survey her surroundings, noticing that the treehouse had a few lights on a few yards behind her, and decided that she should probably get herself some water before she retired for the night, her room probably didn’t have enough for the moment. Before she could do much else, however, she heard someone walking behind her, so she turned around slowly, careful not to aggravate her headache, and jumped back, a surprised noise accompanying her action, as she recognized Jakob, standing like an idiot holding a rose without his shirt on. “What kind of game were you guys playing!? Jeez!” She blushed rapidly and looked to the side, embarrassed at completely everything. “Aren’t you cold?”

“No, of course not…” Selena set her jaw. He sounded completely wasted, which explained his… appearance. She had to wonder how he even got to that point, though perhaps the ease of not needing to care for Kamui for at least one night loosened up his resolve. “It’s hot.”

“It’s not that hot out and it’s night,” Selena pointed out with a wave of her hand, looking at him again with narrowed eyes. “It’s not like normal people forgo their shirt anyway. Where is it?”

“Uhhh…..” Jakob paused and looked into the distance, expression blank, before he walked over to her and handed her the flower. “Here’s this.”

“Uh, thank you?” Selena grabbed the orange rose quickly, avoiding the thorns, and set it to the side before she grabbed Jakob’s arm and shoulder to balance him. “You really shouldn’t have drunk that much.”

“Mmmm, it wasn’t my choice, it was fair and square…” Jakob sighed and leaned against her shoulder, pushing his face into her neck, and Selena stiffened, feeling her face grow hot again before he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. “Besides, I didn’t lose or anything… That’d be mean…”

 _Oh gods, he’s completely out of it…_ Selena repeated to herself with a fervent inner tone before she huffed, resolving herself for action, and slowly pushed against his chest, wary of his scar. “Hey, Jakob, maybe you should… uh, go to bed?”

“Uhhh, I don’t think I’m ready for that yet… That’s a little fast…” He leaned away slightly, leaving Selena in confusion with narrowed eyes.

“A little fast? You should have gone to bed an hour ago it seems…” She watched him take a dizzy step back and she quickly grabbed onto his hand and pulled him steady.

Naturally, since she hadn’t visited him in the medical tent but for the worst of the process, she hadn’t seen him completely healed up. It wasn’t really her place, or really anyone else’s save the healers. Though she had quite a few scars and so did everyone else from the future, she hadn’t ever seen the aftereffects of such a gruesome injury. Even Gerome’s hadn’t been so bad, though his injury had mostly been caused by falling. Jakob’s scar shown pale red and angry in the dim lighting, jagged, pulling on his skin, and Selena wondered what kind of therapy was necessary for such an injury. It certainly explained his limited arm movement and his slight limp even now.

He must have noticed her staring, but, as inebriated as he was, he seemed to take it in a different way. _Wonderful._ “Ha, certainly I’m better to look at than anyone else, yes? Niles has nothing…”

“Don’t tell me Niles stripped too?” Selena deadpanned, looking up at his eyes again as Jakob shrugged.

“I dunno.”

“Gods, I can’t believe you let yourself get this far,” Selena sighed again, quickly adjusting his position so that he wouldn’t fall again. “If you needed a bit of comforting, you could have just asked. A person’s better than that rum after all.”

“No, we were drinking… something else,” Jakob mumbled, face still red. “I don’t know. I like your offer.”

“Too little too late for that I guess,” Selena huffed before steadying Jakob again. “Come on, let’s get you to bed…”

“Don’t wanna.” He slumped against her again, dead weight, and Selena groaned, pinned again. “I’d rather be with you, Sleena…”

Severa set her jaw, eyes turning slightly downcast as she felt the heat from his body warm her dress. “…Severa… It’s Severa…”

“Sevra…?” Jakob paused, but didn’t move from his spot, though it was less uncomfortable than before after Jakob shifted. “Huh… I wondered… if you had a real name. Or a fake name. Or another name. It’s pretty.”

“I-it’s not amazing or anything,” Severa blushed, gripping his shoulder again before he could trip as she stepped back once. “It’s just a name…”

“But it’s yours… that means it’s special… to me…”

Selena paused, exhaling slowly and with a sudden shift in emotion as Jakob leaned back into her neck, hugging her again both for balance and for some alien reason she couldn’t place or explain. She inhaled sharply as she tried to compose her thoughts. “W-why would it be that special…? Wouldn’t your name be the more special one? Or Lady Kamui’s…?”

“Your’s is cuter,” Jakob mumbled against her neck before continuing on about how it was ‘like a hero’s name’ among other things and he devolved into meaningless babbling, possibly talking about the game he had played with the group of army members. “Niles was the mean one, he made me do things. Then everyone forced me to take a shot with some questions, yelling and everything, saying that I didn’t know half of the story… or was it picture? I don’t remember.” He sighed, seemingly annoyed at the prospect. “It’s not like I’m a boring person, Kamui thinks I’m nice and I’m nicer to others, I don’t see why… everyone gets mad, I’m not hurting them…”

“The only ones who truly get mad now are the ones who don’t have much of a sense of humor.”

“Ah, you’re so nice Selena… wait no Severa, Severa, I gotta remember that……. Hm…” He paused again, no doubt internally debating something. “Wait, what if Kamui has another name? Or Silas? Or Kaze? What if everyone has another name and are secretly time travelers?” He leaned back and clasped Selena on the shoulders, swaying slightly. “Selena! No, Severa! The prospect! Ah!”

Selena sighed and shook her head slightly as Jakob let her go and stumbled a few paces to the right as he continued muttering to himself. “This could be the start of a punchline… I have a sense of humor after all! No matter what anyone else says.” He turned to Selena, hand on his chin in thought. “You think I have a sense of humor, right?”

Selena chuckled and nodded her head, a small smile on her face. “Yea, I think you do.”

“Perfect. Oh wait, that’s your word, I forgot. You’re competitive.”

“I don’t _own_ words, Jakob. No one really does.”

“Hm…. Are you sure…? Are any of us sure of anything…?” Jakob turned slightly again, looking up at the moon as Selena caught him from falling again. “What if… you’re just the best at telling us to say things like that? I bet you own a lot of words.”

“Oh my gods, I’m in love with a complete idiot.”

Selena stiffened sharply, breathing catching midway in her throat, mind plummeting to a horrifying and dark low, and she felt Jakob pause, his shoulders straightening behind her hands. “What…… what did… you say…?”

“Uhh…” Selena breathed out quickly, mind scrambling to somehow rectify the situation before she could further embarrass herself at saying something _completely false of course._ “Uhh, I said ‘I’m above such an idiot’…. Give or take a word… Of course! You just couldn’t hear me because you’re wasted and I’m standing behind you and there are a few people talking outside, so yea! Just a trick of the wind if you didn’t hear me correctly the first time, but now you know what I said, so let’s get you to bed before you can pass out because I don’t want to carry you.”

“I want you to carry me.”

“Jakob!!!” Selena huffed, feeling her entire body grow hot from the embarrassment of the entire conversation, before she grabbed his arm and led him forward, deftly grabbing the rose before she started off. “Let’s just get you to bed before anything bad happens.”

 _There’s no way he could have actually heard what I said and even if he did, he’ll forget tomorrow, just like this entire conversation! Gods!!! My tongue must have slipped, how embarrassing, I would never say something like that normally. No way!_ Selena shook her head as she opened the doorway to the treehouse and led Jakob quietly through the house, making sure she didn’t wake Gunter or Felicia. “Did you lock your door or can I just drop you off easily?”

“Uh…” Jakob paused, nearly tripping over a step. “Dunno.” Selena sighed at his response before she continued on, holding his arm steady.

“If we get to a locked door, I’m going to be annoyed…”

“Uh, I’m sorry, but this is going too fast for me…”

“We’re not even walking very fast…?” Selena sighed again. “You’ll probably need to get your shirts tomorrow, I’m not fetching them for you. I have a headache too.”

“Too…? Wow, how did you know?”

Selena looked to the side with annoyance. “Never mind.” At least she wouldn’t have a hangover in the morning, but Jakob wasn’t really a ‘rise and shine’ kind of person to begin with. Kamui and Leo wouldn’t exactly be getting up early either, though Selena assumed only a few people would, those people being Effie, Effie, and Effie.

“Hmmm, you know it sounded like you were making up excuses or something earlier,” Jakob slurred as he shifted his position and Selena inhaled sharply, face turning red again.

“Uhh… w-when…? Exactly?” She bit her tongue, hoping that she could easily brush off his accusations like earlier.

“Something about alcohol… Or related to that…”

“Oh, that, hahaha!” _I have no clue what he’s talking about…_ “Why do you say that?”

“I think you’ve… you’ve…” He paused before sighing deeply, confusing himself easily. “Whatever. How are you able to walk?”

“One, I haven’t drunk as much as you and two, this isn’t my first time.”

“This isn’t my first time either, there was one other time on my birthday…”

“Ahh, when you became legal then?” Selena smirked before turning again proudly. “Well, as I’m a year older than you, remember that, I’ve had more experience. You shouldn’t have gotten yourself wasted.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m of age…” Jakob mumbled as they passed through another hallway and he stepped around a small table.

“Just barely,” Selena scoffed.

“Well its not like you’re much older than me,” he sighed. “Why do you act like you have so much experience with something like this? Did you drink when you were younger?”

Selena bit her tongue before forcing on a stupid smile. “That’s for me to know and you to find out!”

They eventually reached Jakob’s room and Selena was relieved to find that it was indeed unlocked and slowly opened the door and led him inwards before shutting it behind her. She set the rose on his side table as Jakob stumbled over to his bed before face planting. Selena looked around for a few seconds before lighting a few candles quickly, sending the soft candle glow across the room. She turned to Jakob and crossed her arms in a way she thought was commanding. “Aren’t you going to change? Don’t sleep in those nice pants at least.” She sighed as Jakob slowly pulled himself off of the covers, sinking onto his knees on the floor, and ran a hand through his hair, slowly undoing it before setting the blue ribbon to the side.

Selena turned to rummage through his wardrobe, tearing her eyes away from his back. If he could barely walk, she doubted he could find something decent to wear. She turned around again and set the chosen clothes on his bed. She paused as he stood up slowly, leaning on the side table, and began to undo his belt. “What are you doing…?” She cautioned with a confused tone.

“Changing?” Jakob tugged at the buckle for a few seconds as Selena bit down a cry of annoyance.

“Not here you idiot!” Selena flushed again and slapped her palm to her face before groaning again and shoved the clothes into his hands before pushing him toward the corner of the room. “Go behind the divider before you do something like that! Jeez!”

“Ah.” He slowly vanished from sighed and Selena decided to busy herself by setting up some water glasses. She was still thirsty of course and as soon as Jakob would wake up in the morning he would probably feel like trash. _“Hmph, he deserves it, acting like that,”_ she muttered to herself as she set up the pitcher. She didn’t want to feel embarrassed, though she had to wonder what even inspired behavior like that. Being drunk didn’t force people to do things they had never considered; that was what her father had told her years ago. If something bad happened, the bad idea had already been within someone’s mind.

Though having someone drink a lot to reveal their inner thoughts was appealing, Jakob was the last person Selena really wanted to figure out. Not now.

A few long minutes later, as soon as Jakob stepped out from behind the divider, Selena recalled her earlier, embarrassing ‘confession’ and turned around, trying to shove the image of him dressed down casually with his hair undone out of her head. He seemed none the wiser, but still inquired about her stiff actions. “It’s nothing, just go to bed before you pass out and I have to lift you onto your bed.”

“Uhh…” Jakob flushed (more than he already was, at least) and rubbed the back of his neck with slightly narrowed eyes, tangling his hair as his bangs drooped over his eyes, looking to the side to avoid eye contact. “Then… what about you…?”

“Me?” Selena lowered an eyebrow, still confused about his insistence, and she placed her hands on her hips. “I’ll be going to bed as well? I don’t plan on staying up much longer.”

He closed his eyes completely and looked to the side, embarrassed for a reason she couldn’t place. “W-well… I don’t know if I’m ready for-“

“Oh, just go to bed already!” Selena huffed while shoving him down onto the mattress, tired of his confusing words. “You can’t even think straight!” Just as she was about to lean away and stand up to her full height Jakob grabbed her wrist, pulling her down onto his chest, and clutched her waist, staring up into her eyes with a blank, slightly cloudy look, and Selena froze, returning his gaze with hopefully more shock and less fog. Their faces were almost impossibly close and she shifted slightly, not yet leaning back, and she felt the fabric of his shirt beneath her fingers. Her mouth opened slightly with both shock and (regretfully…) a slight anticipation. After the few moments of choked silence the spell broke and she looked to the side, feeling her cheeks aflame with mortification as she tried to move away against his grip. “J-Jakob, t-t-this isn’t decent and you s-should be getting to bed…”

_Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods_

Jakob bit his lip, enough for Selena to notice through the corner of her eye, and he let her go, slowly closing his eyes before he shifted himself fully onto his bed. “Sorry. I don’t know what… I was thinking.” As he adjusted himself he sighed deeply and Selena stiffened before she set her jaw again and shook her head before brushing her hair back, grabbing the orange rose from the side table.

“N-no problem… H-have sweet dreams…” She mumbled and slowly opened the door before shutting it again behind her with a click. Her hand ran down the grit of the wood before she shifted to the side and leaned against the wall, pressing both hands to her eyes as she slid down the wall and sank onto the ground, leaning on her knees, dropping the rose in her lap as she felt mortification spread through her veins.

 _Oh gods… Had I more to drink… what would I have done…?_ Something inerasable, she was sure. She shuddered and slid her hand down her arm, hugging herself as she pressed her spine further against the wall and covered her mouth.

_Really… that confession earlier… that was just a slip of the tongue… Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EyyyyYYYYYYY I hope you guys liked that ship tease.  
> Also, I stayed up like an hour later than normal just so I could draw Selena's dress and get it down in my mind. Erg. I don't care about Jakob's outfit or Kamui's wedding dress as much though. Sorry Kamui I love you.  
> I almost wanted to add a few more details, but at that point it was getting late and I needed to move on to the next chapter. Maybe once this thing is over I'll go back and add things to various chapters.  
> If any of you are wondering yes, Jakob is well versed in flower language. Selena, obviously, is not.  
> Happy reading~


	18. Remake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my motivation is slowly slipping T-T  
> I started re-reading my fic and I really don't like it until about chapter 11, so I'll probably do some edits on those prior ones once I'm done.

Selena hadn’t woken up with a hangover, thank goodness, but she supposed she hadn’t drunk that much. With that, however, came the crushing realization that all of her actions weren’t under the influence and she would also retain those memories with a crystal clear vision. She groaned and placed her hands over her eyes again and rubbed the skin, pulling her sheet off of her chest in the process. “Gods, what was I thinking?!? I’m such an idiot…”

She must have been one of the early risers, as only Niles, Mozu, Effie, Arthur, Elise, and Felicia were up. Everyone else must have either been suffering of hangovers (she was surprised that Niles wasn’t among them), or they were simply taking the time to sleep in. Jakob easily fit into both categories, though Selena didn’t want to think about him at the moment. She passed by Niles and Mozu sitting at one of the tables, casually talking about the events of last night before they too helped put away the furniture.

“Yea they totally went at each other, they were handsy enough to make an octopus cry,” Niles chuckled as Mozu sipped her drink, unamused with a blank expression.

“It’s no surprise to anyone. Though,” Mozu sighed and set aside her drink matter-of-factly, “in my village, there would be proper confessions first.”

“Oh, no doubt that tricky little ninja did that ages ago with the swiftness of the wind.”

“Really? What makes you say that…?”

Selena was far enough away at that point where she didn’t hear Niles’s answer, but it also didn’t surprise her that Kaze and Azura were eventually, seemingly, a couple. It made sense logically; they had known each other for years and were closer than most other people. They were also calm and mature and could deal with situations that bothered them with a very adult air. Selena was also pretty sure that Azura was younger than her, which stung, but she didn’t know how old Kaze was.

She remembered that Odin had some worries about Kamui and Leo marrying, though the prince had assured his retainer that he was no longer a teenager and Odin needen’t worry about time spent. “It’s been… how many months since the war started…?” Selena paused for a second and rested her hand on her hip, trying to calculate. “Well, it’s been a year since Lady Kamui was sent away, a year and a bit since she returned to the castle from the fortress…”

“Hey Selena, did you have fun last night?” Niles commented casually and Selena turned to see Niles smirking at her as he walked across the camp. He turned to watch Effie move a few boxes and take some decorations down while Silas organized a few others. He stopped and stared at the workers in a casual position. “Quite the show wasn’t it? I haven’t seen you dance like that since you challenged Laslow to that competition a few years ago.” He looked at her through the corners of his eyes and Selena stiffened.

“It wasn’t much,” Selena mumbled to herself, turning to look away as she rubbed her upper arm. “If I hadn’t danced, Princess Elise would have been offended.”

“Oh, I’m sure she wouldn’t have though much of it. On the other hand,” Niles smiled crookedly, “I’m sure Jakob would have been disappointed.”

“What’s it to you?” Selena huffed, automatically defensive as she crossed her arms, and she tried to hide the blush that warned to creep on her face. “There’s nothing wrong with dancing with a t-training partner.” She wilted as Niles observed her for a few seconds, analyzing her tone.

“Ah, that’s all you are? I was under the impression that there was something… _else_ going on between the two of you,” Niles purred, rubbing a finger across his jawline. “Perhaps my eye was tricking me, but I could have sworn you went to his room last night. Hmmmm, what… _deception_.”

Selena audibly gulped, feeling her neck heat up with even more embarrassment. “T-that was just a common courtesy, he couldn’t even walk straight! I had to help him somehow…”

“Ah, ‘common courtesy’, is that what they call it these days?” Niles chuckled and took a few more steps toward Selena, who stepped back with annoyance, her neck flaring with heat. “I don’t remember seeing you exit and I even watched for a solid… half hour?” Niles chuckled, still smirking, and Selena felt her cheeks finally flare with red. “That’s enough for a short-“

“Nothing! Happened!” Selena screeched, covering her face in embarrassment. “You’re reading too much into this! Ugh! How vile! I would never do that with someone I wasn’t married to, or at the least in love with. And not your silly idea of ‘love’ either!” Selena uncovered her face to add to her statement. “I mean the real definition.”

“Hm?” Niles dropped the smile from his face and stared at her, causing Selena to take a nervous step back. “So you hold no feelings for him? Interesting… I was under the impression that it was otherwise.”

“N-no!” Selena bit her tongue, forcing her false confession out of her mind. “Of course I’m not… There are other things I need to focus on instead of trying to form feelings for someone. Unlike you, I gather.”

“I don’t see how pursuing relationships is a waste of time, Selena,” Niles commented casually, smile still absent, as he shifted his position, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t say that.” Selena stepped back, looking down.

“You implied it though,” Niles replied, and Selena bit her tongue again, thoughts of her homeland flooding her mind before she turned back to face him, annoyed with his tone.

“You don’t understand my situation, Niles. My duty is to my lady and Nohr.” Selena exhaled slowly before shaking her head, looking away. “I have no time for frivolities. I barely have time for myself.”

“Tell that to Jakob,” Niles huffed.

Selena looked at the former thief, eyes narrowed with a hint of sadness concealed by annoyance and anger. “I already have.” She set her jaw and walked away, not willing to continue the conversation further.

She easily avoided Jakob throughout the day; he woke up late and mostly tended to Kamui throughout the day while Selena had her own duties that Camilla asked of her, not to mention readying the armory for their daily path breaking. It would take them a few weeks of surface time to reach the staircase and Kamui wanted the army to reach it as soon as possible, so there would be daily and nightly teams ready for the task. Lilith had been extending her powers for a long time and at first Kamui had worried about her health, but the dragon assured the princess that, due to her practice and general care, her powers had grown stronger ‘just like the members of the army’.

Selena noticed Jakob busying himself around the camp a few times, mostly small things that Kamui no doubt asked him to do. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her, but even more she hoped he hadn’t retained any memories of that embarrassment. If he had, she didn’t know what she would do.

She could almost recall the warmth of his heart under her fingers, the touch of his breath on her lips, and the pull of his fingers on her wrist. She shook her head, quickly shoving away the memories with embarrassed motions before the sweet taste could pull her in again, and turned back to her work.

“Kamui has you slotted for the…. Fifth and twelfth days,” Camilla later explained to Selena as she held out the piece of paper illuminated by the setting sun. “Of course, if we need you, we won’t hesitate to call on you. I know you’re incredibly dependable,” Camilla cooed, smiling at her retainer with closed eyes.

Selena smiled at her lady’s words, puffing her chest up slightly. “Anything you need me for and I’ll be there. With Beruka, of course.” Camilla smiled again before she sent her retainer off to bed to get ample sleep.

“Everyone celebrated so late into the night and you were up so early. You must be exhausted.”

Selena didn’t lie and say that she wasn’t tired but, of course, she was awake enough to operate normally and could do anything that Camilla asked of her.

Surprisingly, the princess hadn’t asked Selena about the events of last night and Selena was quite relieved at that. After Niles had ruffled her feathers earlier, she felt even more sensitive about her silly actions. It had just been the silly after effects of alcohol and nothing more, she repeated to herself. She hadn’t been wasted like Jakob had of course, but wine could still do stuff.

She ignored the fact that she could barely feel the effects of four glasses and decided to stick to what she had repeated to herself.

That night she had a nightmare. She got them normally of course, especially after Jakob had nearly died (save the night where Odin had given her the calm dreams, nearly every dream for the next two weeks had been some form of a nightmare. She had hidden that of course, but it still ailed her and Jakob had seemed to sense that), but this one had a strange, unique tone to it that had only shown itself in small doses in earlier castings.

It had been one of the battles in the future past, or at least it seemed like that; there seemed to be risen and the like, though dreams were strange in that regard. The Nohrian army fought a large dragon, perhaps Grima, though it seemed altered and different, perhaps her brain’s stand-in for Anankos. It was a brutal fight, though the size of the army fluctuated from time to time. Sometimes the vanguard was full while other times it seemed to only be twelve strong, like her time in the past.

Eventually that section faded, perhaps her brain became bored of teasing her with false images, and began to barrage her again with the images of Jakob’s prone body, the death of her parents, her friends, and other war atrocities.

She woke up in the middle of the night, worse for wear, before she brushed off the horrid thoughts and threw herself back into a fitful sleep, lulled by the feel of Jakob’s arms around her shoulders, as sorry and pitiful as that comfort was. Perhaps if she wasn’t half asleep and chilled she would have cursed the very thought.

She woke up the same time as always and began her daily work of ferrying requests around, checking over the weapons, keeping Camilla’s room clean, and other small tasks that would keep her busy until she headed up to the surface to fight.

The first team had met resistance, especially since Hoshido knew that the vanguard had landed a while back, though it was mostly in the form of Mokushan warriors. Kaze mentioned that the fight had been worrying; Hoshido and their allies seemed to be scrambling to stop Nohr’s conquest. King Garon had apparently breached the Hoshidan/Nohr border and was currently making his way to the plains of Hoshido, though Xander informed the vanguard that their own group would likely be at Fort Jinya by that time, though perhaps Garon would be further along than that. Communication was rocky at best, as Nestra had been attacked by Hoshido, wiping out most of the communications. Iago seemed to be one of the only links now along with Prince Leo.

Selena wondered if the war was really worth it from Garon’s standpoint. She knew that Nohr needed to win or else be slaughtered by Hoshido, but even that was the king’s fault. She sighed as she thought on Anankos again, wondering if keeping the secret that long had really helped anyone. She caught Lilith’s eye as she sat near one of the sakura trees Kamui had grown before turning away to her small breakfast.

Bringing up that dragon to herself again would hardly help her with anything. The secret ate at her, of course, but she had been sworn to secrecy and she couldn’t necessarily trust the army to continue their conquest of Hoshido if they knew the real reason behind it.

She watched as Jakob passed out a few bowls to Kamui, Felicia, and Flora, and she bit her cheek before shoving some bread in her mouth, choking down her thoughts.

. . .

Selena tossed another sword to the side, cleanly sharpened, before starting on the next with a careful hand. She gripped the whetting stone firmly before scraping the dulled blade a few times, sending a ringing noise out across the camp.

Xander’s scouting team would be back in a few hours and it would be likely that they would need more weapons. Camilla had given Selena a job to do as well so she figured she may as well do it now while she had some extra time and thoughts to kill. She could sharpen swords like the best of them, so she figured she could get that out of the way.

Other than finishing a job, the monotonous action let Selena drive her mind elsewhere. Though the pain of two nights ago had passed, she didn’t want to reflect on it any longer than necessary. Perhaps shoving thoughts away wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with anything (Odin and Laslow had told her as much when she brought up Ylisse again), but it was the only way she knew how to deal with anything.

The stone slid awkwardly across the sword as she flinched before biting her tongue; she really did not need these thoughts. It would have been better had they not happened.

Though she had debated her feelings over the past two days, wondering if her words had actually been genuine, she arrived at the conclusion that ‘of course it was just a slip of the tongue’. Not only could it never actually work out between the two of them (words that sounded… strange in her mind) as far as their personalities went, being as judgmental and stiff as they were, Selena wasn’t even from Nohr’s world. It would just never work.

It seemed a bitter thought and Selena paused in her work, letting her hand run down the blade with gravity. Not only would she have to leave Jakob, Camilla and Beruka would be abandoned as well. And they would never even know.

The day was drawing even closer. Xander had predicted that Hoshido would fall within three months. Anankos would be driven up either right after or soon enough as to only allow a few days preparation. So that left her, Odin, and Laslow four months at the most to spend time with their fellow army members.

After nearly six years of spending time in Nohr, the thought was sour on her tongue. What would Kamui think? What would their lieges think? What about… their friends…?

Perhaps Jakob already knew, but Selena knew that even he didn’t realize the severity of the situation. He never traveled across worlds and time, so the idea would seem foreign to him, even when explained with partial information. She exhaled slowly, heart dropping, before she began on her work again, determined to erase those thoughts.

She must have been biting her lip pretty hard because as soon as she paused again to get a drink her skin throbbed. She clicked her tongue at her stupidity before taking a gulp. She paused as she heard someone walking up behind her and turned, watching carefully as Jakob paused. “This is a common theme I see.” She set down her cup as he slowly agreed before he finished walking up to her.

“How many have you done so far? Perhaps I may be of some assistance.” Selena set her jaw as she recalled his drunk actions; it starkly contrasted to his sober self.

“Random question, but did you ever get your shirt back?”

Jakob flinched back as she posed the statement before he narrowed his eyes, scrolling through his memories. “Yes…? If you know of that, I suppose you saw me in that… compromised state…” His face fell and he began moving his hands with a worried fashion.

“Uh… yea…” Selena fought back a blush as she gulped and turned back to her work. “I did. Do you… by chance…” She paused. “Remember anything?”

“Ah yes, I’ve been meaning to bring the topic up with you…” He paused in turn, looking at her as Selena fought back an expression of mortification. “I suppose I deserve a bit of explanation, Severa.”

“Uhh,” Selena exhaled quickly, embarrassment and terror driving her actions, “i-it’s not what you think, I also had a bit to drink so my actions weren’t completely-“

Jakob narrowed his eyes with confusion and worry, leaning back. “What are you talking about? I’m broaching the topic of your real name. That hardly warrants such a reaction…”

“Oh… Oh!” Selena laughed nervously, turning back to her work. “Well, I’m from another world, so I took another name… That’s pretty self-explanatory…” She turned to Jakob with a dull expression. “I thought you would forget, so that’s why I told you.”

“Was I really that drunk…?” Jakob sighed, rubbing his forehead with exhaustion. “If I did anything to… eh, make you nervous, then I deeply apologize…” He looked to the side and set his jaw. “I’m afraid that under those circumstances, I would have done something to… embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable…”

“So sure of that, are we?” Selena mumbled while looking back at the dulled blade. “What makes you think something like that?”

“The blush on your face, the strange looks I’ve been getting, and the fact you’ve been avoiding me.” Selena paused, not expecting a deluge of answers. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed, I’m quite finely tuned to your mood, I would like to believe.” Jakob sighed again and shook his head in exasperation. “I’ve been busy of course, but not even a single word?”

“Well, I’ve been busy too,” Selena muttered, sliding the stone over the sword. “Though I accept your apology.”

“Ah, so I did do something.”

Selena gulped, wondering how she could turn this situation around. “W-well, n-nothing that would d-disgrace Lady Kamui’s name, s-so nothing very severe…” She paused, letting the words hang in the air, before she mentally hit herself. “I mean nothing happened! Nothing except you playing a game with Niles, Laslow, some others…”

“I remember that part slightly,” Jakob commented coolly before he moved slightly closer to Selena, leaning down to her level slightly. “What exactly happened? After that I cannot remember anything, save a few blurred images and your real name.”

Selena looked to the side, kicking herself for doing anything remotely touchy-feely that night. “W-well… Apparently you got a dare from Niles to talk to me drunk or something. You know how he is with entertainment.”

Jakob narrowed his eyes, face betraying no emotion. “Ah. Is that how it is? Well, that’s another thing I need to discuss with him…”

“Uh… yea…” Selena paused, eyeing his expression before continuing with her work. “You were quite… uh handsy. Also you had stripped your shirt earlier, so there’s that.” She watched as Jakob flushed with a combination of embarrassment and humiliation. “Never thought you were that kind of person, but I guess even you have your moments.”

“P-please tell me I didn’t do anything to…” He gulped, wary of his words. “To compromise you…”

“H-huh? N-no, of course not! If you went that far I’d’ve slapped you,” Selena stuttered out, careful to not betray her emotions too far. “Sure it was embarrassing to have you hugging me and clinging onto me like that, but you didn’t do much of anything but mumble about the meaning of names or something.” She conveniently left out the part of her slip-of-the-tongue confession. She didn’t need to dredge up _those_ memories. “After that, I shoved you to your room and… put you to bed.” She looked to the side, wondering if she should bring up the other part of that situation.

Jakob noticed her hesitation and leaned back slightly, probably out of dread. “What happened? Did I… cause you a hard time or something related?”

“Uh… I don’t know if I’d call it that… specifically…” Selena gulped, wondering how, or even if, she could put the event into words.

“Gods, you don’t need to explain it… I apologize,” Jakob dipped his head, furtherly mortified as evidenced by the deepening blush on his face and neck. “Usually I am able to keep any… spur of the moment actions to myself, but I suppose I was unable to make the proper mental connections to act in that usual way…”

“You mean you think of doing that on a daily basis?” Gods. This could get embarrassing-er.

“W-well, I may not be thinking what you’re thinking, but I can make an educated guess.”

“Off of so little information? Jeez…”

“Then explain what happened.”

“Uhh…. Well…” Selena gulped again and blushed, looking to the side as Jakob crinkled his nose, “uh… I, uh… well, I didn’t quite _fall_ per say, you, uh, pulled me… onto… yourself…” She touched her fingers together as a way to keep her mind away from that subject for a bit. “Hahah… I’ve never seen you so… uh dominating… I guess…? That’s the way to put it…?”

Jakob slowly sunk in on himself, placing both hands over his eyes with humiliation and even his ears turned red. “Oh gods, I’m so sorry, that must have been mortifying… for both parties.”

“Oh no, you looked like you enjoyed it quite a lot,” Selena deadpanned.

“Selena!” He lifted his head from his hands to provide his half-retort, face completely red. He grimaced, still blushing, before looking away and loosening his shoulders, resigned to his fate. “Perhaps it would have been better had I remembered…”

“Ha! Think again.” Selena could eventually shove those memories away on her own, she had done as much before, but if Jakob had been thrown into the mix, it could have made for a very awkward week. “If you’re this embarrassed just hearing it, who knows what you would have been like had you actually remembered? Besides, it’s better this way.”

“Hmph.”

“Are you pouting? Awwww,” Selena mumbled, flipping the sword over to sharpen the other side as she gripped the whetting stone tighter. “I think you would have probably fainted of humiliation if you’d remembered, so you don’t need to worry.” She bit her lip as she considered his other words. If he was as impulsive as he had implied, then it seemed he had spur-of-the-moment thoughts a lot. If that night had been one of them, did he want to do something like… _that…_ even now while he was sober? She gulped at the thought, feeling her cheeks flare up with heat again. _It doesn’t matter! At all. Ugh, thinking about it makes me… sick. Yea, that’s it. That’s a good way to explain this feeling._

“I wasn’t pouting, that’s below me,” Jakob explained with a cool tone, “and besides that, I keep my composure in any situation.” Selena gave him a blank look and he huffed, looking away. “Any situation.”

“Well, whatever you say,” Selena muttered, running the whetting stone over the edge of the blade carefully, making sure that Odin’s ‘insignias’ weren’t too horribly damaged. Nohrian blades seemed to be of a finer make than Ylissean blades, so Odin had taken the opportunity to have fun like that, apparently not wanting to repeat ‘what Laslow had so stupidly done once’. She didn’t know what he referred to and she didn’t ask.

She set aside the blade after a few minutes of work before she leaned back, feeling slightly off. She quickly looked over at Jakob who, in turn, looked away nervously. “Do I have something on my face? Is my hair not even?” She touched her cheek, feeling the powder of her makeup. She had applied it properly, she thought.

“N-no, I apologize, it’s nothing. Just me…”He glanced at her before turning away again, playing with his fingers slightly before standing up. “I have a few things I must attend to, but I’m glad that we got this… situation cleared up. I hope there are no hard feelings…”

“No, not really,” Selena replied quietly. “I didn’t realize it was bugging you this much.”

Jakob paused before walking away, taking one of the sharpened swords to distract himself. “I thought that I had done something to offend you, but it seems I was mistaken.” He turned the sword over a few times and watched his reflection. “I’m glad that was the case.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry any more! I’m just here doing my thing.” Selena set the blade to the side before grabbing one of the last swords. “I’m glad you brought it up with me instead of letting it stew around.”

“Yea, we both know you wouldn’t have broached the subject,” Jakob teased lightly, electing a pout from Selena, who said she didn’t want to beat a dead horse. “Well, there are more chores Lady Kamui has entrusted to me and I need to make sure my bet with Flora doesn’t fall through, so I’ll be off.”

“I didn’t think you were one to gamble, Jakob.” He paused before shrugging.

“It’s just a small thing for the fun of it.” She watched him walk off to the mess tent.

Though the conversation had been ended quite well, Selena still stewed about the contents and resolution for the better part of the afternoon and eventually Odin pointed out that she was letting her dinner get cold. While Jakob had broached the subject with formality, of course, there was a certain level of nervousness that couldn’t be explained by the topic itself. It caused her heart to cry out of course, but he was altogether more nervous than she had been. She couldn’t explain it; perhaps she didn’t _want_ to explain it, but it was confusing nonetheless.

“Are you on tonight’s raid, Selena?” Odin questioned smoothly. “I saw you sharpening swords earlier. Didn’t know.”

“No, not tonight, though I finished with your sword,” Selena muttered while taking a bite of her meal. “Made sure your little insignias weren’t damaged, though I don’t think you should compromise your sword.”

“Oh! My magic is nefarious and aims to keep all of my weapons fully functional, lest I be defeated by the dark.”

“I thought you were Odin ‘Dark’.”

“My darkness damages not I, but I fear my enemies are malicious.” Odin posed quickly, hand over his left eye while Selena and Niles sighed. “I must be prepared at all times.”

“Well, your sword is well prepared now,” Selena continued, ignoring Niles’s chuckle. “Along with everyone else’s. Lady Kamui’s took a bit of time, it sure had a lot of use, but there was no one else to do the job.”

“So you weren’t the best option available?” Niles prodded before taking a sly drink from his cup as Selena blushed with infuriation. “Wow, Lord Leo must be cutting corners.”

“Hah! Of course I’m the best option available! I have years of experience,” Selena huffed while crossing her arms with a jerk. “Even if I can’t be out fighting, I can do proper support for those of us who are actively doing something. A category you aren’t fitting in right now.”

“Oh poor me, I’m slacking off so much,” Niles moaned, swirling his drink around in his glass with a tired hand. “If only Lord Leo beat me into compliancy maybe I would do something.” Odin grimaced and slowly edged away from his partner while Selena shot him a disgusted look. “Ok fine, perhaps I can no longer make that kind of joke now that he’s married. How about I use… Laslow instead? Laslow’s not straight.”

“Honestly, who is?” Selena muttered, glancing around camp. “Kaze? Jakob? Xander maybe?”

“Oh honey,” Niles chuckled, “why do you think I said Laslow wasn’t straight?”

“Oh boy,” Selena sighed before shaking her head. “These aren’t the sort of waters I want to tread. I would know Laslow’s sexuality, I’ve known him for years. Same with Odin.”

“Well, same to you, Selena!”

“Odin, that wasn’t an insult.”

“Oh whatever, alignment doesn’t matter here,” Niles sighed while standing up, taking a last gulp of his drink. “What matters is that people don’t prance around stupidly with their personal lives. Lord Leo isn’t like that, though there’s a few people that need to work on that aspect.”

Selena narrowed her eyes and stared up at the adventurer, setting her jaw. “Are you calling me out? Is that what you’re doing?”

“Oh, is that what you thought I was saying?” Niles chuckled again, grabbing his plate and winking. “It seems that you’re putting your own words into my statements. Perhaps that’s more of a reflection on you than it is of me.” He smirked before walking away, a satisfied smile embedded on his face.

Selena leaned back with an annoyed groan, balling her firsts up onto the table while Odin jerked back, grabbing his own glass. “Do you really have to deal with that on a daily basis!?”

“No, actually,” Odin muttered, looking to the side with narrowed eyes. “I think he’s trying to motivate you, push you in the right direction…”

“Well, that’s none of his business, really.” Selena bit her lip, thinking about the subject of ‘personal lives’ before she sighed and chugged her drink, feeling the water moisten her throat.

. . .

Selena rolled the stem of the half-wilted rose between her fingers, watching the shadows from the sunset dance across the petals and distort the edges. There were no thorns, save a few near the top of the rose, too far for anyone to get pricked. She bit her lip again, thinking about the reasoning behind the gift. Certainly, he had said it was a dare, though she couldn’t remember all of the specifics. Certainly a small ‘gift’ would have also been a requirement, right? There was no way he would do that otherwise.

Her mind was drawn to the other rose, the Izumite rose, and she looked over to her shelf where she had stored it away, slightly crumped and dry, but in one piece nonetheless, still reflecting a dulled pink glow.

She sighed before setting the orange rose next to its kin. “I’m such an idiot. I can’t even decide for myself if my feelings are true or not. Surely no one else has those kinds of issues… My parents said they knew for certain when it came up, after all…” She sighed before lying on her bed, back pressing into her few pillows. “How come I can’t be more like them…? Can I ever truly reach their esteemed heights?” Though having two dragon deaths and two… three wars won on her repertoire would certainly be a testament to her skill, her mother and father were just… so beyond that.

Selena sighed and turned over, pressing her face into her pillow as she muttered to herself about unfairness and equality. “Hah, what am I doing?” She leaned up quickly onto her legs, bringing the pillow up with her with a blush. “I don’t have to think about any of this now! The stairs and Anankos are the main focus! I can deal with my stupid personal life later! I don’t need to think of this now…”

Certainly she would have to someday, but that day was certainly not today.

Despite those thoughts she wilted, back curling up, as she squeezed the pillow closer to her chest. “What if… what if I really _am_ in love with him…?” The prospect terrified her, new and foreign as it was, and she felt her confidence shrink.

Whether or not she actually held any sort of romantic feeling toward him, she would have to leave regardless. It would already hurt, they were friends after all, and there was no way she would willingly cause that pain to multiply tenfold. She would already have to leave Camilla, Beruka, Kamui, Azura, Felicia, Flora, Niles, Peri, Charlotte, Nyx, Elise, Leo, Xander, Kaze… and Jakob. That was certain, cleanly set in stone, unshakable. Even thinking about it caused Selena to lose motivation and assurance and she gripped the sheet of her pillow with shaking fingers, feeling anxiety prick at the corners of her eyes.

Even from the beginning, she knew she would have to leave. It was obvious. She was a fool for getting close to anyone, like she had told herself not to do even when first starting in Camilla’s service. She already had to leave a world once and now she’d have to do it again.

“Strength, huh? There’s nothing strong about abandoning people, no matter what you believe in…” She exhaled slowly, wiping her eyes before she could burst out into tears due and proper. She sighed slowly before she set down the pillow, prepared for bed once again. “Perhaps I’ll always be a product of multiple worlds.”

. . .

Selena sliced through a few more thick leaves with annoyed chops, bemoaning the rich, luxurious Hoshidan forestry. “This is crazy. We’ll be marching through this for the next six hours?”

“Well, we don’t have much of a choice,” Mozu sighed while leaping to another branch, the high road beneficial for the rest of the army as Mozu had good eyesight. “We need to make as much ground as possible. At least we don’t have the night shift. It’s going to be painful for the next team to make much ground through this.”

“Yea. I guess they’re going to need a lot of mages for this,” Selena sighed while stepping over an exposed root with a flailing arm. “Who was tonight again? Nyx, Odin… some others?”

“Niles, Kaze, Azura…” Mozu trailed off, unsure herself. “I’m not completely sure, I just know my team for the next time.”

“I guess we’re in the same boat,” Selena grunted while snapping off a low-hanging branch, tossing it to the side. “I hope this isn’t for naught…”

“Well,” Mozu huffed while steadying herself on a branch, “Lady Kamui seems assured that going through the staircase will save us time and Lady Azura has reinforced that idea…” She gripped a smaller offshoot and bounced slightly on the bark. “Anything that stops this war…”

Selena peeked up at the villager before sighing and shrugging. “Whatever, I guess.” The pair started off again.

What would Mozu think when she left? The thought was interesting enough with a slight hint of hurt. She supposed Mozu would be hurt at first, perhaps confused because such a concept probably never made it to her hometown, but she would quickly forget.

Almost reminded her of another little girl.

Mozu paused and raised her hand, warning Selena to stop moving as well, and the bow knight froze, hand gripping her hilt. She could hear some movement in the trees, though the sound wasn’t recognizable. Mozu gripped a dagger before throwing it quickly, striking an enemy.

“Faceless! Zola must have set this trap for us in case his plan failed!” Mozu sniped a few more enemies while Selena drew her bow; there was no way the faceless could reach her position fast enough to catch her off guard and she finished off the first opponent with her bow as Keaton raced forward, shifting into a wolfssenger before slaughtering the monsters.

“Zola’s trickier than I gave him credit for,” Selena sighed before she shot an arrow into one of the skulls of the faceless, dropping him onto Keaton. “It’s been, what, a month?”

“Possibly more,” Mozu grunted while dodging an attack as Selena switched to her sword and defended the younger soldier. “This seems to be an outlier group, however; there aren’t many of them.”

“Ugh, where’s the dark mages when you need them?” Selena bemoaned her situation before slicing another enemy.

Naturally, no casualties occurred and hardly anyone became injured, save Keaton who had stumbled over a root and hurt himself (Selena ignored that fact). They reached night without many more problems and swiftly passed over their duties to the next night shift before retiring. Though it was mid-day in the astral realm, everyone was exhausted and turned in, much to Kamui’s relief.

Even after a week of surface progression, they weren’t even halfway to the stairs. Xander carefully explained that the terrain would be much more navigable after the halfway point, though she felt like the army was losing morale. She wouldn’t (couldn’t) do much about it, though, so she decided to merely follow orders and continue with her daily chores. Camilla had a lot on her plate already and washed clothes always boosted her lady’s morale. She wouldn’t be on another raid for the better part of a week, so all she could really do was sit around and wait for her second time to come.

Laslow, Odin, Jakob, Kaze, and a few others would be heading out tonight for the day shift (the astral realm time was thankfully closely monitored by Lilith, but it was still confusing to no end) and would likely be gone for the next few days. Apparently it took that long to travel twelve hours on the surface, so Selena quickly bid her friends farewell, lingering with Jakob slightly to fuss over his arm and general aptitude before he assured her that his wound hadn’t been causing him any worry lately and ‘even if it had, I would do this anyway for Lady Kamui.’

“Well, you should care more about yourself,” Selena pouted, glancing over at Odin and Laslow as they both gave her mournful glances.

Though they had touched on the subject of the staircase and that they should definitely bring up Anankos soon, Zola and Iago both providing influence on that decision, they still didn’t know a definitive time. Laslow had theorized that Kamui and Azura knew something about how the war wasn’t completely for worldly purposes, though he was certain that they only knew superficial details. “Perhaps something about Garon; their thoughts on him are certainly different than anyone else’s,” Laslow had told them both.

“Lady Kamui is my ultimate responsibility. If I neglect her, I neglect myself,” he coolly replied before Selena could become too distracted about her goal. As she turned back to look up at him, he angled his head slightly, a look of concern in his eyes. “What’s wrong? You appear distracted.”

Selena blushed slightly; if anyone caught wind of their plan before they were ready to tell, it could be disastrous. She had already told Jakob too much for Odin and Laslow’s comfort and he wasn’t exactly a stupid person, so perhaps he had discovered something…? “Well, my group found opposition after all. I don’t want anyone to get hurt unnecessarily… Especially like _that…”_

Jakob’s expression softened as he sighed and shook his head. “You don’t need to worry. I won’t be putting myself in that sort of danger again. Though, you should take your own advice and be careful as well.” He moved his arm slightly before apparently giving up on his idea and let it rest at his side again as he looked away, avoiding eye contact. “I… do not wish to see you injured either…”

Selena narrowed her eyes, trying to piece together Jakob’s confusing tone. “Well… I would hope you wouldn’t want to see me injured. That’d sound malicious, don’t you think?”

“Selena,” Jakob sighed, slightly annoyed, but joking. “You should know by now that I’m malicious.”

“You?” Selena laughed, touching his shoulder lightly. “You have as much bite as a de-fanged cat.”

Jakob chuckled before looking at her with an amused expression. “Hmm, coming from the one who de-fanged me?”

Selena adopted a blank face as Odin snorted behind his hand as Laslow quickly lead him away, trying to hide his own amusement as Jakob blushed with embarrassment, expression morphing from amusement to regret as he looked to the side, avoiding Selena’s gaze. “I apologize, that did not come out how I wished…”

“How did you _want_ it to come out?” Selena prodded incredulously, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“…That’s not important,” Jakob replied, quickly covering up the entire conversation. “Anyway, this stretch involves a lot of flat ground, so I assume the team will be covering a lot of distance. I don’t know if Ladies Kamui and Camilla will be asking you for strategical help,” he continued while finally turning to look at her, “but your knowledge with tactics is… certainly useful.”

“Of course it is!” Selena huffed and crossed her arms. “I doubt they’ll need my help though, not with Prince Xander working closely with King Garon. I’m sure they have the times down to a second…”

Jakob sighed at the mention of the king before he shrugged and turned with a half wave. “The other team will be arriving soon. Give Felicia my regards.”

Selena chuckled, a small smile making its way onto her face. “You can tell her yourself.”

Before he walked away, Jakob shot Selena a rather… _yearning_ look for another reason she couldn’t place. He sighed before he turned proper and headed off, leaving Selena to deal with her confusion.

Later, she found herself thinking about Ylisse again and what would result from the end of the war. Jakob knew that she, Odin, and Laslow would have to leave, so what was he playing at? Was there a reason he continued to be close? Did he still feel guilt over the situation?

She ran her hands over the stitching of her sheets, pulling them between her fingers as she mulled over his actions, thinking lightly on his personality. “Why did all of these things have to happen…? It’s like a jumbled puzzle only meant to cause people anger…”

Even thinking about him caused her embarrassment, no matter how much she tried to rationalize it. “What will it be like when I have to leave…?”

For the first time in a long, long while… she regretted her choice.

. . .

“Though our journey through the Hoshidan terrain has taken a fair while, we are ready to conquer the staircase tomorrow,” Xander announced to the rest of the army, Kamui and Camilla standing casually to his side while Leo and Elise shuffled through a few maps. Selena narrowed her eyes at the prospect. “Since our army has no severe injuries, every member save the healers will be at the surface.” Xander sighed before turning his gaze to the other side of the group. “Iago may request our appearance so we must be vigilant. It is also likely there are plenty Hoshidan forces ready to wipe us out, so we must be prepared. We have taken care of multiple reconnaissance groups, but Hoshidan forces are strong and many. I suggest for everyone to rest up and take mental time for themselves before our trials tomorrow.” The prince sighed before loosening his shoulders just slightly. “You may need it. Do not injure yourselves today or pull muscles. Arthur, stay close to Effie and Elise for today.” The man in question quickly nodded before accidently dropping his papers somehow.

Selena sighed again before letting her arms hang. She didn’t have any plans for today as Camilla also elected to take a break in the bath house (she had invited Selena that morning, but she hadn’t decided yet if she would accept the offer). Beruka decided she would have more smithy practice apparently, as the retainer quickly headed over to the building. She stretched, mulling over what she would do as she didn’t completely feel like training today; she had recently been fighting on the surface anyway and needed to let her scratches completely heal. “Wow, I haven’t had downtime in forever.” Not proper downtime anyway. She had evenings to herself of course, but lately she had just gone to bed to avoid pressing thoughts. The night allowed such things to exist anyway, so avoiding that time of day served her best.

How long had it been since they started for the staircase anyway? Since Zola’s attack, it took a week or two before the wedding… Since then, it had been more than a month of astral realm time according to Lilith who never traveled to the surface. So perhaps two… and a half months since Izumo in astral time and… Perhaps three weeks in surface time. “Yea, I think that adds up…” Selena muttered to herself. She wasn’t amazing at math, but Morgan had taught her some important basics and even intermediate stuff, so she wasn’t hopeless of course.

“Maybe I should just take her offer…” No doubt Kamui would be there as well, though hopefully more women would take time to have a soak as well. Selena probably needed a break as well. Though she had used the general bath area of course, she hadn’t really used the large area in months.

“Offer?” Selena sighed before turning to face Jakob with crossed arms.

“I’m just thinking to myself, you don’t need to respond…”

“You did a lot of it, though, so I was worried.”

Selena sighed before waving her hand in dismissal, not meeting his eyes. “It’s nothing, just trying to figure out how I’ll spend my day.”

“Well,” Jakob replied, a smile on his face, “I’ll finally have enough time to finish knitting a sweater for Lady Kamui, so I will take this time with open arms.” After he finished his satisfied expression, he turned to a dumfounded Selena. “I can provide a few suggestions if you find yourself lacking.”

“No, I know what I’m going to do,” Selena replied while stepping to the side to allow Odin and Silas to head off somewhere. “I’m going to take some time off with Lady Camilla and probably Lady Kamui. Part of the package, you know.”

“You haven’t spent time with Lady Kamui lately, have you?” Jakob mused, looking to the side.

Selena sighed, adopting a blank look. “Oh don’t worry, she said she knows everything I do because apparently you don’t shut up about me.”

Jakob flushed again, adamant expression replacing his serene look. “I know how to balance my words! And I certainly have other important subjects to discuss.” He shook his head and looked away as Selena laughed behind her hand.

“Well, you didn’t completely deny it I guess. That’s a win for me, then.”

Jakob looked at her through the corner of his eyes, questioning. “There’s a tally?”

“Nah, we don’t need something like that,” Selena smiled, eyes closed, as she waved her hand. “I’d win anyway. No need to calculate.”

“Are you sure? I thought I was a surprisingly competent person,” Jakob teased her, pulling on her cheek slightly.

“Fuu, you can’t match my level,” Selena replied rapidly, placing her hands on his face and squishing his cheeks with her palms. “I’m too talented.”

“Talent, huh?” Jakob replied while brushing away her hands with a tender gesture. “I thought you spent numerous hours training with the sword before you were able to fight efficiently?”

Selena leaned back and crossed her hands behind her back, smiling thinly. “Nahhh, I was perfect before I started.”

Jakob stared at her for a few seconds before blinking and looking away. “W-well, you should get along to enjoying yourself. We don’t have enough time for small things like that…” He sighed and turned, crossing his own hands behind his back. “I assume, after this, we won’t have time for relaxing until the war is over… Don’t strain yourself.”

Selena narrowed her eyes. Even though no one else knew of Anankos, they were still apprehensive. “Yes… I suppose that’s how it is. I’ll… be careful.” She watched as Jakob looked at her for half a second before he finally walked away, heading to where Azura and Kaze were casually talking.

She set her jaw, another strange feeling entering her chest, before she too left the area and conversation, quickly entering the bath house before anything else could happen.

Kamui and Camilla were promptly enjoying themselves while Beruka stood in the corner wrapped in a towel and working with some sort of object. Selena figured they only let her keep it to assist in her distractions as she felt restless without something to hold. Mozu and Azura also accompanied the princesses Selena noticed as she slowly slid into the water, continuing to don her own towel.

It was common for Hoshidan folk to forgo all clothing when in shared baths though Kamui allowed any sort of behavior in her own buildings; she had the power of dragon veins to keep the place running so it was only natural for her to develop her own rules.

Camilla and Kamui were copying the tradition: Kamui likely for political reasons and Camilla to feel closer to Kamui’s origins. Selena wondered if Charlotte would be the same before she sighed and leaned up against the edge of the bath, the heat working away at her tension and stress.

“Sometimes I wish we had things like this in my old village,” Mozu piped up, voice dimmed by her own pleasure, as she shifted around and turned to the blue-haired princess. “It would have certainly helped at the end of each day.”

“It’s certainly… interesting.” Selena caught herself before she could mention something about her old hometown. While she had shared small bits and pieces with Camilla and Beruka, Kamui and the rest were out of the picture.

She almost wondered if she should tell Camilla and Beruka about her origin, but even telling Jakob was something she regretted and Jakob was less of a hairspring trigger than Camilla, at least in her respect. How would Camilla react to her leaving? It wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

“It certainly is, darling,” the princess in question cooed before running her fingers through her sister-in-law’s hair as Kamui giggled, feeling ticklish apparently. “It’s great for morale and I can finally spend more time with dear Kamui. The fortress’s baths, while accommodating, were not quite the splendor that this is.”

“Well,” Kamui laughed, brushing Camilla’s second hand away, “you’ll really have to thank Lilith. She’s helped build all of this.”

“Lilith is definitely… interesting,” Azura commented slowly before pushing the water around. “I’ve never met a… dragon before. Not like that.”

“Well, according to Odin I’m a manakete or something,” Kamui dismissed, waving her hand and scattering water droplets across the bath. “Of all people, of course he’d know about things like dragons and dragon stones.”

Apparently Selena wasn’t the only one spreading around information. The fact calmed her down, though only slightly. “He knows a lot of obscure things, though most of it doesn’t come up in proper conversation…”

“Yea, you’d know that more than anyone,” Mozu commented, a small smile on her face. “You, Laslow, and Odin seem more intelligent than you let on usually. Though, I was never able to learn nearly as much in my village.”

“I’ve never been able to ask what you did in your village,” Azura replied carefully while turning to face Mozu. “I remained in the capital, so I’ve been curious as to what other villages did.”

Mozu shifted, sending ripples of water out around her as Kamui and Camilla began braiding each other’s hair. “Mostly farm work. There were occasional bears that we had to deal with too, but we worked well with all animals. I don’t know if we sent any goods to the capital, we were a pretty small village so our meat and rice usually went directly to our neighbors.” She smiled to the princess. “Things like that.”

“I’m curious as to what everyone did,” Kamui commented, halfway through one of Camilla’s parts. “Everyone knows what I did of course and probably Azura too, but I don’t know much about anyone else. Not their pasts anyway.”

Camilla sent a glance toward Selena and she looked away deftly, avoiding her Lady’s gaze.

“I grew up in the slums,” Beruka spoke calmly. “I killed others for money. That was all.”

“Wow, that’s uplifting,” Selena muttered as she ran her fingers through her hair and slowly worked out some tangles.

“I lived in the castle and performed duties for my… father,” Camilla continued before she smiled thinly. “Being a princess is hard work.”

“What about you then, Selena?” Azura prompted with a calm voice. “What was your hometown like?”

Selena sighed and leaned back against the rim of the bath, narrowing her eyes at the prospect. “It wasn’t completely populated or anything. My parents had a house that was a bit from the main city, but it was held well… Sometimes I’d go to the capital and partake in festivals and stuff. My friends and I would have a lot of fun…” She sighed and stared at the ripples in the water, remembering the group making their own parties in the dark future to try and bring just a hint of light to their lives.

“You must have had a nice childhood,” Mozu sighed, leaning back herself with a sigh. “We had festivals of course, but I could never go to the capital…”

“Yea… a nice childhood…”

Camilla and Kamui stared at Selena, eyes narrowed with suspicion, as Selena wiped her bangs to the side, a blank expression taking the place of the more somber one. “Nothing bad happened.”

“I suppose that would be why many bad things are happening to you now,” Azura breathed, hands crossed. “To make up for your serene past.”

Selena clicked her tongue, grimacing. “Whatever gods are out there are certainly out to get me, aren’t they? I just wish everything would leave me alone.” She felt her heart clench, remembering her parent’s deaths, Grima taking over the world, Jakob almost dying, the Izumo attack, Anankos… “Why can’t… why can’t I just live a normal, calm life…?” Her whispers were met with no answer and Selena shook her head before standing up, the serene moment broken by her incessant degrading thoughts. “Never mind. I’m done.”

“Selena…” Kamui muttered before standing up herself and grabbing a towel. “I think… I think I understand you now… You’re afraid. You’re afraid and that’s why… that’s why you’re stuck in place.”

Selena paused, standing outside of the bath and back facing everyone else. Her hand rested at her side. “I’m not afraid of anything… Nothing scares me…”

The rest of the occupants were silent as Kamui slowly stepped closer to the retainer, feet wading through the water. “Then why do you refuse to move on? To engrave your name here in Nohr? In this world?”

Her thoughts briefly flew to Jakob and the conversation they had. There was no way that he could have told Kamui, right? She exhaled slowly before wiping away some lingering tears that had suddenly appeared. “I’m a warrior. I fight for whoever claims me and whatever needs my assistance. I have no right to call myself human.” She recalled Cheve and Scarlet’s death, Shura’s capture onboard the boats, Tthe Nestra attack and the dead singers,  Kotarou’s plot and Kagerou’s capture, Zola’s betrayal, and Anankos’s plea. She grit her teeth and began walking forward again.

“Selena!” Kamui stepped out of the bath and hurried her pace before she grasped the bow knight’s hand, holding her in place. “You… You aren’t hurting only yourself with that mindset.” She sighed, a sharp sound that conveyed guilt. “There are people that care about you. People who… care about you a whole lot. When you say things like that… it hurts them as well…”

Selena’s hand slowly fell out of the princess’s grip and she continued walking forward. “I’m sorry, Lady Kamui.” She stopped and looked at her out of the corner of her eyes. “You can never understand me…” The whispered words were only for the princess to hear and Kamui’s eyes widened in astonishment before she narrowed them again and stepped forward, reaching for Selena’s hand.

“I’m not standing in the sidelines again. I’m going to do whatever it takes to convince you that you belong here.”

Selena slapped her hands away and took a step back, feet sliding over the slick stones, a grimace concealing anger on her face. “I _don’t_ belong here!” Camilla stood up quickly, causing the pool to ripple violently, and Beruka moved forward, unsure. Selena choked on her emotions for a second before standing back, solidifying her position again. “I never belonged here and I never will!” She felt tears begin to run down her face again and she clasped a hand over her mouth, curling in slightly on herself. “Everything I do here… It’s so temporary… Bonds… Friendships… M-more…” She shook her head as Kamui took a step forward, feet unsure. “I’ll never have a place here! My existence…”

Kamui wrapped her arms around Selena’s shoulders, holding her in a tight hug despite the small height difference, and slowly patted her head. “I’m not sure what’s given you all of these silly ideas, but no one thinks you belong anywhere else.” She sighed and Selena gasped, tears continuing to rain down. “I’m sorry for never noticing earlier. I just assumed that you were ok… You’re… You’re unnaturally good at hiding your real feelings.” She chuckled, rubbing Selena’s hair. “Honestly, the only reason I became suspicious was because Jakob brought it up to me a few days ago, and even then it took me a bit of observation to notice anything… Camilla did of course, but your relationship to her is a bit more formal…” Kamui sighed, eyebrows wrinkling. “You’re saddened expressions, your early bedtimes… You’re avoidance of deep conversations… It was all there, really, though there was no hope that I would be able to put it together.”

“L-lady Kamui, please don’t-“

Kamui hugged her tighter, sobbing lightly. “I want you to be happy… So why is nothing going like how it should?”

Selena froze, arms hanging uselessly at her sides, as she absorbed Kamui’s words, feeling fear work through her limbs. “K-Kamui…?”

Kamui leaned down, pressing her forehead into Selena’s shoulder. “I see the pain in his eyes…” She muttered, voice light like clouds. “It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before, not when I disappeared, not when the war started… So… so what’s going on…? This war… what’s going on…? Even Laslow and Odin… even they seem like how you are, so what’s going on…?”

Selena didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know if she ever could.

. . .

Throughout the next few days Selena made sure to avoid Kamui, Azura, and Mozu as well as she could. With such an explosion of her feelings it would only be embarrassing to talk with them one-on-one or anything of the sort. It wasn’t too hard for Kamui and Mozu, as the girl had been on a mission while Kamui had been busy enough to lock herself up in her treehouse (though Jakob commented that she mostly worried over the war instead of actually getting anything substantial done; she then theorized that there was something other than her, Odin, and Laslow on Kamui’s mind). Azura tagged along with Kaze for the greater part of the few days, though Selena had caught Azura looking at her inquisitively more than a few times.

Camilla and Beruka were something different. Immediately the next day Camilla had tightly embraced Selena, tearing up about how she hadn’t been able to comfort her retainer properly, and Beruka had even given Selena a swift hug, surprising her.

She almost had the idea to tell them there and now about the situation, but held her tongue.

“Darling, I wish you had felt the strength to tell this to me earlier,” Camilla bemoaned as she held Selena to her chest, sighing with sadness. “It makes me feel like a failure of a princess, to know that my own retainer didn’t feel confident sharing her sadness with me. I feel like I should have brought up your feelings earlier, especially since I noticed something was wrong.”

“It wasn’t that…” Selena mumbled, appreciating the attention before Camilla let her go. She looked away as Camilla continued to stare at her with a concerned expression, and she rubbed her arm. “There’s some things that I just can’t tell anyone else, you know? Even with you…”

“But it’s fine with Jakob?” Beruka stated with venom in her voice and Camilla looked at her with discipline in her eyes. Beruka matched her lady’s eyes before staring at Selena again. “Sometimes I feel like he knows you better than we do. We’ve known you for much longer.”

Selena grimaced and looked down, folding in on herself. “It’s not… it’s not that…”

“What is it, then?”

“Beruka,” Camilla cautioned with a light voice, “sometimes feelings aren’t predictable. The things I share with Kamui are different than the things I share with Xander. Selena is the same.”

Beruka huffed before turning away. Selena bit her tongue as Beruka sighed. “I care about you too, you know. I don’t want to be left out.” She played with her necklace before shaking her head, hair moving slowly. “Too long I’ve ignored the members of our army and only focused on myself and Lady Camilla… I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

“Beruka…” Selena mumbled in surprise.

It wasn’t only her that had changed, Selena realized. Beruka, Jakob, Mozu, Kamui, Leo, Camilla, even Elise and Felicia… Everyone had grown in different ways.

“Oh Beruka, you’re too kind,” Camilla cooed, pulling her into a hug as well, holding both of her retainers tightly. “Both of you… Are special…”

That dropped Selena’s mood again quickly, but she didn’t feel like causing Camilla more pain, so she kept silent, thanking her fellow retainer and the princess for helping her deal with her emotions better.

Odin and Laslow seemed to sense that something was up, more than normal, and each lightly brought up the topic of Anankos, wondering if Kamui and Azura were hiding something else, but Selena brushed it away, refusing to answer either of them.

Jakob sought her out that night, apparently getting wind of her breakdown from Kamui, and offered a shoulder, though Selena pushed him away.

“Lady Kamui has been off lately and while I do not want to blame you, it is clear that your conversation earlier today is at fault. Though I have noticed for the past few weeks something has been eating at you as well.” Jakob paused as Selena looked to the side, debating what to say as he continued, stating that her eyes had been red.

“You care about her too much,” Selena whispered, eyes downcast.

Jakob angled his head, immediately insulted. “What are those words? You’ve never found issue with my actions before.”

“She could disappear from you so easily, yet even now you continue to cling to her, be with her all the time, absolutely no fear…” Selena shuddered, grimacing again. “How do you do it? How do you put such faith in another person? I don’t understand…”

“Selena, I believe you’re mental state is shaky, evident by both today and your general avoidance this past week, so perhaps we should get you some medication,” Jakob cautioned as he leaned over to grasp her wrist. Selena yanked her hand back, stepping backwards with the momentum as Jakob flinched back, startled.

“There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m fine!” She held back a sob as Jakob took another step forward roughly before gripping his shoulders, stopping him from coming any closer. He let his hand fall to his side, an astounded and worried gaze in his eyes. She tore her eyes from his face, looking down as tears threatened to spill again, digging her fingers into the fabric on his shoulders. “I’m not… There’s nothing wrong with me…” She grit her teeth, slowly leaning forward until her head hit his collarbone, arms sagging. “It’s everyone else that has a problem…”

“Selena…” Jakob whispered before he wrapped his arms around her midsection, holding her close and steady with a sigh. “I overheard your… outburst earlier. I was cleaning up the men’s room and ended up hearing everything…” Selena gulped, closing her eyes against the words. “You need to stop locking your feelings away,” he cautioned calmly. “I know…” He paused, considering his words carefully. “I know you’re upset about… the end.” He leaned his jaw against her head, breathing out again as she loosened her grip. “I would be lying if I said I felt nothing of the future… But we still have the here and now. The future is far off. You need to consider more what you have now or else those spiraling thoughts will only consume you…” He sighed again before he moved his hand up, rubbing her head comfortingly. “No doubt you’ve had depressive episodes your entire life and shoving people away is your talent, perfectly crafted and executed to protect yourself. But you don’t need to live like that.”

“It hurts less… It hurts less if I just pretend nothing matters,” Selena answered quietly, tears ebbing away. “If everyone’s going to leave, then there’s no reason for me to get closer…”

After a few moments he leaned back on his heels, prompted by her words. “Is that why…?”

Selena sniffed, burying her face into his neck as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him closer. “I’ve lost before… I’ve lost my family, my friends… my world… I know that pain. If I can avoid that again… then I will.”

He seemed to shake himself out of a stupor before he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back slightly and away from him, eyes foggy, before he rubbed her cheek with his knuckles. “I still believe you should get some medicine. Nyx has things that balance… thoughts. I don’t…” He paused and grimaced, eyebrows narrowing in a way she had only seen when he remained near a hurt Kamui. “I don’t want you to suffer any more. You’ve already been through so much, that’s obvious.”

Selena let her eyes slowly close, feeling a stab of pain at her heart for a reason she couldn’t place. “I don’t want you to get hurt either. My leaving… that will only hurt the both of us…” She opened her eyes, startled, as Jakob smoothed his hand over her jawline, angling her face up as he wiped away her tears calmly, a sad smile on his lips.

“As long as you’re here now, with… us, then there is no reason for me to feel hurt,” he whispered, leaning slightly closer and embracing her in a comforting hug before breaking it a few more seconds shorter than she would have liked. “Should I get you some help or would you rather talk to Nyx yourself?”

Selena sighed and let her shoulders sag. She appreciated his help, but she had to wonder just how much some medication would help stave away bad thoughts. “I don’t think I need any herbs or things like that… Maybe talking about it will help enough.”

Jakob stared at her for a few seconds before he shrugged, turning slightly. “If you feel it is not necessary, then I won’t force you to do anything, but I implore you to consider your feelings more often. You don’t need any help from yourself when the world is already out to get you.”

“I’ll consider it… This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with darker thoughts, though… It’s nice having help through them…”

His eyes seemed to turn sad and pitying as she continued looking at him and he turned to the side, clearly pained. “Sometimes I forget that the world was out to get you… Though my childhood was tarnished, yours must have been truly hellish.”

“No… Not my childhood. I had my parents after all.” They stared at each other for a few more awkward seconds before Jakob cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded his head toward the medical tent.

“Nyx will be able to properly assist you…” He paused. “I’ll see you tomorrow then…”

“Yea… See you tomorrow…” Selena watched his back as he slowly headed over to the treehouse, checking in with Gunter in the process, and she sighed, looking down.

It would hurt to leave Camilla and Beruka. It would hurt to leave Kamui, Azura, Flora, Felicia, everyone else. But it would near kill her to leave Jakob.

She clasped a hand over her mouth and concealed a sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to upload this yesterday, but I ended up being out all day.  
> The next chapter is coming along, but rather slow since it's not the one I'm interested in.... which is the chapter after that. Rip me.  
> I'm not sure if I'll be able to update on a schedule again, but I'll still update of course. Still working on that.  
> This chapter surprised me a bit as I hadn't planned on it following the route it did, but it does open up some development for the shippppp and brings something interesting to the chapter other than fallout. Jakob's definitely a better person now lol.  
> Happy reading~


	19. Tipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think at least for this and the next chapter I'll be able to keep the Wednesday day, though work is busy and I don't have as much time to write haha.  
> This chapter is more like an interlude leading up to the next one. After this chapter, there are no filler chapters. Though this chapter does things of course lol.

Selena frowned up at her ceiling, trying to picture the length of Anankos in her mind. If she could visualize it again, perhaps that would help them with defeating it. She stretched her hand up, drawing the length of its spine with her finger before she let her hand fall down again and rest on her blankets with a light noise.

They would be marching on the surface to complete the last stretch of the way to the staircase and then defeat the soldiers that would be waiting. Kamui and Xander had crafted a plan, while Leo had been in charge of positioning. Most foot soldiers would be around at least one mobile unit in order to navigate the staircase properly. There wouldn’t be too much room to fight after all. Selena was used to cramped spaces, but she figured it would be best to get all of this over with, especially if Hoshido could overwhelm them from behind. Though, with Garon’s force slowly making its way across the land they didn’t need to worry much about flanking.

Kamui provided some information on the layout, but as far as specifics went they were shooting in the dark. That wasn’t a completely foreign feeling to Selena; in the dark future, often the group didn’t know where they were going or what they were doing, taking each day as it came. At least here she had the support of a proper army.

She touched her lips, thinking about how Anankos would factor into all of this. It would be best if they told Kamui sooner rather than later, of course, but treading the promise they made would be tricky. He had told them to keep the secret after all, but at this point it could be the matter between life and death.

As long as they kept that place secret it would be ok, right? She had told Jakob about her past and nothing bad had happened after all. Her eyes softened as she recalled their discussion the night prior. She hadn’t often seen his more caring side, though she supposed he would have one especially considering everything. She hadn’t gone to see Nyx like he had requested, though she discussed her feelings with Laslow and Odin proper.

“If you’re getting that bugged about all of this, maybe it would be better after all if we told Ladies Kamui and Azura,” Laslow bemoaned as Lilith floated over his head. “I didn’t realize that you were sinking down again… Reminds me of that time back then.”

“Everyone was upset, though,” Selena pointed out, toying with the trim of her shirt. “Remember Noire and Gerome? Not to mention you yourself…”

“The past is the past,” Odin sighed, crossing his arms as Lilith nodded her head enthusiastically. “Though I do think we should determine if we need to tell Lady Kamui soon. I feel like we can’t keep this secret forever, especially if we’re going to fight Anankos after Hoshido is conquered. It would be cruel to not tell them at that point.”

Lilith sighed and twitched her tail before she spun in the air. “It’ll be tricky to avoid saying that word, but I believe everyone should believe you guys. Especially given your lack of past here. You’re well trusted anyway, so really there’s no problem at all.”

Selena was quiet at that, but let the discussion run its course.

She let the conversation fade away back to her memories and stood up, shooting a glance to the dried roses on her desk before she prepared her hair, glancing at the two golden wing clips as she did so, before she walked out, ready to face the day.

. . .

Selena stepped forward gingerly, careful not to trip on some of the dislodged stones in the stairs as she led her horse along. The Hoshidan army had not yet appeared, though she was more in the middle of the vanguard and couldn’t see very far ahead. The royals were up at the front while Jakob, Felicia, and Flora scouted ahead.

Keaton sniffed the air loudly, annoying Selena, but his suspicious expression did put her on edge. “It smells strange here. Like… Metal. Lots of metal.” He paused and scratched his ear.

“Well, the Hoshidan soldiers will be carrying weapons,” Niles rationalized, bow at the ready. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t smell something.” He and Selena met gazes, both slightly bored.

“No, not like that,” Keaton muttered while fingering his beaststone, eyes squinting ahead. “Like… blood.”

“Huh?” Selena stopped as she heard a faint noise behind her, watching as the rest of the army behind her slowed to a halt. She looked ahead, watching as Camilla and Kamui discussed something casually, also still, while Xander analyzed some more papers before stuffing them back into his saddlebag. Jakob, Felicia, and Flora had doubled back, making Selena even more suspicious.

“Well,” Niles huffed, gripping his bow tighter, “clearly something unplanned occurred. But perhaps it’s in our favor.”

“Faceless! Faceless attack!” Effie yelled from the back, startling her small group, and Selena turned and watched as she brandished her lance, quickly tearing into the enemies with her weapon as Arthur supported her.

She whipped her head around to look at the front where Jakob and Felicia became locked in combat with more faceless. Suddenly the whole area became awash with the beasts and Selena wondered how they had been able to hide at all.

Unless… they had been freshly summoned.

“Fall back!” Kamui shrieked from the front before Mozu yelled that there was no exit and they would have to hold their front.

“Damn… There’s a sea of the beasts,” Niles clicked his tongue before loosing an arrow into the crowd and Selena jumped onto her horse, gripping the reins with a steady hand before she grabbed her own bow..

“Everyone, force yourself upwards!” Selena looked up to see Kamui gesturing wildly with her hand before turning to another group. “Foot soldiers, pair up with a mobile unit! Everyone team up!” Kamui leapt onto Leo’s horse while Camilla deftly picked up Kaze from the shadows, Azura joining with Elise.

Keaton quickly shapeshifted, roaring against the crowd as he rushed forward and slashed through the walls of meat. Selena picked her horse up a few steps, shooting arrows as support as she noticed Niles hop onto Beruka’s wyvern. Effie and Benny couldn’t be supported by any mobile unit, but they held up the back well and provided necessary cover, so Selena took that opportunity to continue slightly forward, slicing through more faceless with her sword. She watched as Charlotte and Xander formed a tag team, quickly wiping out faceless after faceless as Flora and Felicia retreated into the center to provide support.

“Camilla, you head for the dragon veins! Kaze, support her as she readies the power!” Kamui shouted from Leo’s horse before striking down an enemy before it could reach Leo and he finished it off with a magical flourish.

Selena clicked her tongue, anger picking at her veins. “There’s too many for leftovers from a Hoshidan attack. No doubt those soldiers were wiped out, but why are there so many?” Iago must have been on Zola’s side. He was probably sucking up to King Garon. If he really had sent these faceless it was likely that he was also responsible for the attacks they had suffered through while they journeyed to the staircase. Speak of betrayal, that was the definition right there.

She sliced an enemy before it could reach Keaton’s side, sending it to the ground. She quickly looked up as Niles shot an arrow into an enemy ready to attack Jakob and stuck his tongue out at the butler as Beruka flew away, sending an attack into another with her axe.

“Jakob!” Selena straightened up and gripped the reins of her horse before she reached Jakob’s position, slowing down to offer her hand. He looked up and grabbed her arm, gripping it tightly, before he swung onto her horse, slicing down another enemy with the added momentum, grabbing her waist to avoid falling off. Her horse huffed before it stepped gingerly on another stone in a slight backtrack before climbing higher as Camilla activated the first dragon vein, freezing the enemies in place.

“Finally a break in the weather,” Jakob muttered, voice close to her ear as he let his sword hang low. “There’s too many of them for us to take on, but if we can somehow escape the range of the mage controlling them, perhaps we have a chance at survival…”

“We can bottleneck them at the top,” Selena grunted, removing her sword from another faceless. “It’ll be easier to deal with them if we’re on a level playing field. Lady Camilla and Beruka will likely start thinning out that area to make it easier for us to escape properly.” Jakob shifted behind her, grabbing her waist with his left arm as he leaned down to block her horse from being hit by another faceless.

“How effective will that be? It’s a man verses an army,” he huffed while leaning back up, assisted by Selena. “No matter how many we take down, more arise to fill all spots. We need to escape or risk death.”

Selena leaned back as her horse stumbled over a few steps, unsure at where it should step properly. There were too many faceless bodies mixed in with Hoshidan clothes. “At any rate, we’re going up.” She yanked on the reins, leading her horse to the right, avoiding the frozen faceless, as she quietly thanked Camilla’s powers. Jakob finished a wounded faceless on the way before the group began moving again, the entirety of the vanguard past the first lengths of the stairs.

“We need to pick it up, they seem to be flanking us with even greater numbers,” Jakob muttered before holding onto Selena’s midsection tighter as her horse stumbled, avoiding a large rock thrown by one of the golems.

Selena lifted her head up from her quick duck, steadying her horse before shooting an arrow at the golem, watching Charlotte and Xander slay it after taking advantage of its wound. “Effie and Benny are holding up the rear, I don’t want to stray too far from them or else they’ll be outnumbered.”

“Fair point, but they’re outnumbered already,” Jakob grunted as he sliced another faceless. “We’re losing time and energy. We can’t last much longer.” He looked ahead and watched as Kamui and Leo blazed a trail for the following members and Camilla activated another dragon vein. “I can only hope Arthur is able to support them long enough.”

“We can only hope…” Selena repeated before she dragged her horse up another path of stairs, using the cleared space that Xander and Charlotte had created to speed her process up before she arrived in the path of another golem, shooting an arrow toward it as Jakob took control of the reins. “I can only assume Iago did this…”

“No doubt,” Jakob replied quickly, steadying himself on the horse’s back. “All of the Hoshidan soldiers were slaughtered and while that would normally be a cause for celebration the faceless then attacked us. Perhaps Iago is the one who caused Zola to turncoat?”

“Who knows? Iago was always a disgusting person and this only solidifies it,” Selena snapped, unsheathing her sword as she came upon the golem, slicing its midsection before Jakob performed a follow up attack, though the horse moved slower than normal.

“At least even his power isn’t eternal,” Jakob panted and Selena noticed he bore a wound on his side. A flesh-wound, of course, but something that still caused her a pinch of anxiety. “If we can slaughter all of these faceless, surely they will stop turning up eventually.”

“I can only hope…”

Jakob snapped his head upwards, alerted by a sound that Selena couldn’t pick up. “Selena! Duck!”

“What?” She gripped the reins as another large rock hit the ground before her, throwing both her and Jakob off of her horse and it stumbled a few feet to the left. Selena gripped her sword before pressing herself up against the rock wall, blocking the golem from aiming at her again, bringing Jakob with her before she brushed her bangs out of her eyes, noticing the glisten of blood on her glove after she did so and she clicked her tongue. “Ugh, I need to get my horse back…”

Jakob gripped his side, hurt further by the unceremonious fall, and he grit his teeth as he sunk down to the ground, thin cuts appearing on his cheeks. “The only thing we can do is wait for someone to take out the golem or somehow go fast enough to avoid another hit.” He flinched back as Selena moved his hand to look at his wound and she started as a result.

“What?” She looked up as Jakob blushed and looked away, a grimace on his face.

“N-nothing.” He removed his hand fully, though agonizingly slowly,  and Selena grabbed a bandage out of her pocket, carefully placing it over the cut. “That’s not going to hold very well…”

“It’s meant to help stop the bleeding for a little bit until we can get you to Felicia or Flora,” Selena sighed before she shot a faceless from her seated position, sending it down the stairs. She watched as Effie and Benny took care of a few more before they climbed up, prepared to face the golem.

“Well,” Selena grunted as she stood up, hands on her knees, “I suppose that’s as good of help as we’re going to get.” She paused, watching as Benny deftly dodged a rock, before she ran over to her horse, leapt onto its back, and readied an arrow, aiming for an eye as Effie launched a javelin. She felt a trail of blood run down her face, though it thankfully avoided her eyes; she needed sight to fight after all and an extra movement could spell her death. She watched as Jakob stood with shaky legs and made his way over to her, sword sheathed, and she quickly pulled him up, avoiding a faceless before her horse kicked it in the face.

“Justice has been served!” Arthur yelled before sending a throwing axe into the face of another, killing it instantly, and he waved slightly at the pair before tailing Effie and Benny.

Jakob gripped Selena’s midsection again and she could tell that the pain was finally getting to him and tiring him out. She gripped the reins tighter and sent her horse further up the stairs, avoiding as many faceless as she reasonably could and trying to concentrate through the feeling of Jakob resting his head on her shoulder.

Eventually, the pair picked their way up to the top of the staircase where Kamui, Leo, Camilla, Beruka, and Keaton had formed a defensive wall while Kaze, Niles, and Mozu attacked from the rear. Selena quickly fell in behind with Jakob so that Flora could heal him properly. He stumbled off awkwardly and Selena steadied his shoulders, still atop her horse. She met gazes with Flora and nodded before taking up a stance behind Camilla, aiming her arrows at more faceless.

“Hahah… At least you weren’t injured,” Felicia gasped as she healed one of Xander’s wounds. “Flora, Elise, and I are already tired just from this wall…”

Selena loosed another arrow and hit a faceless before it could mark Beruka, ignoring the pain in her hip. “We just have to hold this area until everyone arrives. Effie, Benny, and Arthur shouldn’t be too far behind now.” She watched as Beruka flicked a look back at the mention of the general’s name, but Selena didn’t want to elucidate on that situation. She nodded at Beruka before she began fighting again.

She felt Jakob’s eyes on her backside as she let another arrow find its mark and wondered why he would be so focused on her instead of Kamui, especially when the princess was one of the soldiers holding up the line.

Eventually after a long period of fighting, healing, and repeating, the wave of faceless ebbed and Effie and Benny kneeled, exhausted from their climb. Xander dismounted his horse as Camilla finished off a few more faceless. “Everyone, retreat. I know you are tired, but we must make more ground… We’ve lost a lot of time…” He walked over to Charlotte to discuss something while Selena dismounted her own horse to get some healing from Flora.

“I’m so glad nothing bad happened,” the maid huffed as she waved her staff over the bow knight’s wounds. “I’m surprised it didn’t get worse.”

“I’m sure Iago thought he was clever or whatever and ended up not sending enough or whatever,” Selena supposed, raising her arm in satisfaction as Flora finished mending. “Good for us.” She looked up as Kamui walked over, worse for wear, but alive and active.

“We’ll brave ahead until we get away from this area and then we’ll retire to the astral realm.” The princess sighed and let her shoulders sag. Selena straightened up and narrowed her eyes at Kamui’s tone. “There’s something I need to tell everyone, but it can wait. Furthermore, once we get near the capital, we’ll be unable to use the realm for downtime, so keep that in mind.” She smiled at Flora before walking off to inform more soldiers, Azura close behind.

Selena sighed and relaxed again, stroking her horse’s neck with a tired hand and untangled some snarls in its mane. “Well, at least we get some kind of break today. It could be worse I guess.” Flora healed a few cuts on the horse’s stomach, petting it as she did so.

“Selena, are you ok?” She lifted her head as Jakob walked over slowly, worry in his voice. “After a few faceless broke through, I was ordered to retreat.”

“Jeez, I’m fine of course. No stupid monster can hurt me.” She winced as Flora touched her shoulder and warned her to be careful of her strained muscles. She pursed her lips and looked at Jakob who had slight amusement written in his eyes. “Like I said! It was easy.” He touched her shoulder and she flinched away, whining. “That’s not fair. You don’t have any pulled muscles.”

“Oh? Like you would know,” Jakob teased before stepping back, avoiding Selena’s flailing arms as Flora watched on with a hint of amusement as she picked up her things. “I didn’t realize you were an expert on me.”

“Please, you’re so predictable,” Selena huffed lightly, crossing her arms. “Though I suppose it’s better than you being unreliable.”

“I’m sure my enemies disagree, they seem to never be able to block an attack.”

She could have easily countered that statement, but decided to let the topic rest and she watched again as Flora headed over to other vanguard members. “You did get hurt earlier though, I was worried. Are you ok now?”

“Yes, Flora is a fine healer.” He touched his side, moving his fingers over the pale line. “Of course, my clothes are worse for wear, but that’s nothing new. I am quite talented at mending anyhow and Lady Kamui will likely require my assistance as well.” Selena watched him lower his arm slowly, taking care to not make any exaggerated movements. “At least everyone in our army is capable of doing that, save Felicia who was hopeless from the start.”

“Hey! I’m a better healer than you at least!” Felicia piped up from the back after mending a cut on Benny’s arm. “Please give me credit…”

“At any rate,” Jakob turned back to Selena to continue the conversation, eyes bright, “I’m fine now. Silas will likely require more healing, though, so I hope this army starts up soon. We can’t lose any more time…”

Selena sighed and let her arms hang at her sides as she glanced to the side, looking at the dark forest. “That’s true… I should go check up on Lady Camilla. She was holding up the brunt of the wall.” Jakob dipped his head and bade her farewell as he went over to assist Felicia.

Just as Kamui had informed them, they marched for a couple of hours, sun still absent from the sky, until they made it a reasonable distance past the staircase. Kamui, Xander, and Leo opted to stay on the surface for a bit and patch a message to Iago and Garon to ask for answers while everyone else retired to the astral realm for some rest.

“Oh, my poor wyvern received so many injuries,” Camilla lamented as Selena rubbed her shoulders with some lotion and avoided some bruises. “I’m glad that Beruka’s hadn’t at least, but I need to get someone to treat her…”

“Maybe Benny would be up to the task?” Selena suggested as she smoothed more lotion onto Camilla’s skin with careful motions. “I think he mentioned that he was getting used to wyverns after he and Beruka took a flight.”

“Perhaps…” Camilla trailed off, flipping through a few pages in the report. “What about your steed? I noticed it being healed earlier. I hope it’s ok.”

“It’s fine,” Selena assured the princess, leaning back from her work to rinse her hands off and begin on Camilla’s hair. “My horse is the strongest of the bunch! It’ll take more than that to get it down.”

“I’m glad you’re ok too, I saw you fall from that nasty golem’s attack,” Camilla pouted, marking down a few things on the paper. “Iago won’t get away with this. Sending so many faceless when we too are marching… What is he thinking?” Selena was sure that Camilla’s face reflected dark thoughts and she was glad she couldn’t see it.

“Iago is what Iago does I guess, but as long as King Garon allows him to do that, we can’t do much about it… The king’s word is law after all…” She sighed as she brushed Camilla’s hair, taking a few pins to hold back her bangs for later as she reflected on the importance of free speech.

“We have tonight for rest, though we need to debrief the fight. Kamui mentioned there was something she wanted to tell the vanguard,” Camilla mentioned casually, setting down the papers.

Selena leaned back slowly. Lately, she had noticed that the princess and Azura had shared some sort of secret between the two, but had no idea as to what it could be. Perhaps there would be a slight change of plans, considering the new circumstances. “Well, I guess I’ll prepare for that.”

After finishing with Camilla she touched base with Jakob for a few minutes and checked up on Beruka and Benny before she sat down and ate a light meal, watching as Kamui, Leo, and Xander returned from the surface.

Kamui wasted no time in calling the vanguard together for a meeting, though a few people were absent as a result of being too injured to really care and Nyx had stayed behind to care for them. Jakob hovered near Kamui’s side while Azura and Kamui shared anxious looks.

“So, you wished to share something with us, Kamui?” Xander prompted her, crossing his arms as he took up a confident stance. Leo echoed his words while Elise leaned back on her heels, other members of the army echoing those actions.

Kamui cleared her throat and adopted a stronger expression while looking to Azura for confidence. “I’m afraid this information is such that I’ve had for a few months now. I haven’t known how to break it to everyone, but after this incident I’m afraid that holding it back would greatly endanger our operation and the end of this war.”

“If it’s something that important, why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Leo asked quietly, comfortingly. “I thought you could tell us anything.”

“Not this…” Kamui murmured and Azura stepped forward, taking the lead, breathing in slowly to compose herself.

“Back in Nestra, Kamui and I traveled to another world accidently. This is why Gunter suddenly returned,” she gestured to the older soldier, “and we discovered new information there.”

“Another world?” Jakob echoed before looking at Selena, who narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

“Of a sort,” Azura clarified as she looked at him before turning back to the group confidently. “It is a strange land that does not follow the laws of this own and is corrupted. There are only a few ways to access it, however, so we needen’t worry about land and law issues. In fact, soon it will be closed forever.” _Or at least from our side,_ Selena added to herself.

“There, we fought those shadow enemies that sometimes come here,” Kamui continued, gesturing with her hands. “It provided a bit of a connection to the… revelation…”

Azura exhaled slowly, eyes saddened. “I’m afraid King Garon has been possessed by a dark force. I am not sure how long this has been happening, but with Iago’s actions recently, Kamui and I believed that you all should not be held in the dark anymore.”

Xander’s expression morphed to diluted fear while Leo and Camilla looked shocked, taking a step back. It hadn’t seemed to impact Elise yet and she prodded Azura for more answers while the rest of the army muttered to themselves, clarifying some facts.

“Regardless, we still have to keep following him because we don’t know what he’ll do if he knows we know.”

“That’s suicide!” Charlotte snapped from the side. “I don’t want to follow some maniac!”

“You followed him just fine before,” Niles commented snidely with a smirk and Charlotte glared at him.

“We have no choice…” Someone muttered from the back.

Kamui grit her teeth and stepped forward, frantic, gesturing emphatically. “The throne in Hoshido has purifying powers! While Azura couldn’t do that herself in Nestra, the throne may have enough power to save-“

“We’re conquering Hoshido for a purification process!?”

“Azura…? Azura was the singer we were tasked to kill in Nestra?”

Kamui looked back and forth between the fighting members nervously as Leo and Xander talked among themselves while Beruka and Camilla confirmed some facts. Jakob reached his hands out toward his princess while Felicia and Flora shared nervous looks.

Selena locked gazes with Odin and Laslow who each seemed to be shocked in their own right. They had fought shadow warriors in a strange land with a dark presence hunting after them after all. Selena narrowed her eyes as Laslow slowly dipped his head and Odin gripped his wrist. She inhaled and stepped forward as Azura hugged Elise comfortingly and the previous arguing slowed to a stop. Jakob straightened and locked gazes with the bow knight, face pale, and Selena lowered her head before inhaling and standing straight again. “We too have important information to share.”

“Selena…?” Camilla muttered, removing her grip from Beruka’s shoulders. “What’s going…?”

Selena breathed out slowly again, closing her eyes as she tried to figure out just how she would break the news to everyone. “Well, you guys already know how Odin, Laslow, and I appeared out of thin air. We’re from another country and we’re good fighters. Pretty obvious.”

“Selena…” Jakob cautioned and Kamui looked at her retainer, confused.

“What…?”

“We were sent here for one mission and one mission only,” Selena continued, voice thin. “Our mission is to kill the dragon Anankos.” Kamui and Azura stiffened, eyes widening as the weight of her words registered in their minds.

“It seems like Anankos is the one that’s possessing Garon,” Odin continued, language clean as he stepped forward to support his friend and Selena shot him a relieved look. “If we defeat him, Garon should turn back to normal.”

“The only way to lure Anankos to this world is conquer Hoshido,” Laslow explained, stepping forward in turn as well. “He wants to rule the world and once Hoshido is out of the way, he’ll come for Nohr.”

“Lilith has already known of this,” Selena clarified slowly as she turned back to the crowd, looking at Jakob who still wore a worried expression. “Though, we were sent by Anankos’s good side to protect his older child…” She turned and looked at the manakete princess. “Kamui.”

Kamui paled, lifting a hand to her heart with slow movements as the meaning of the words crashed into her mind. “I’m… I’m Anankos’s child…? But that’s… Sumeragi is my father..!”

“No, Kamui,” Odin sighed, hand at his side, and stopped Kamui from arguing further. “You are the child of Anankos. Why else would you have draconic powers?” Her lips thinned at that, but didn’t reply. “It’s not from a concentration of blood, but genetics.”

Leo and Xander seemed to glower the longer the conversation went on, and after Selena mentioned using Hoshido as bait to lure the dragon out into the open, Xander slammed his fist into the table, startling none of the three. “And why did you not mention any of this to us earlier? Are all of you daft?” Laslow met Xander’s gaze hardly and Selena and Odin kept their mouths shut, betraying nothing. Xander leaned back, still frowning deeply. “This is information that can and will change the tide of the war, the way of this world, and you have kept it hidden from us for what?” Selena took a step back as Xander leaned slightly forward again, using his princely air to attempt to intimidate them into answering. “You were sent on a mission and have told none of us? Where do your loyalties lie? Are you enemies of Nohr and plan to wipe us out with assistance of the dark dragon? Are your actions really that low and unbecoming?”

“Prince Xander!” Odin shouted, face calm and voice booming and the high prince stepped back, confused, as Leo frowned, equally confused. “As a prince of Ylisse I hold rank equal to your own! I demand that you stop demeaning us and listen to reason! Do not sling baseless insults upon us from your own blinded anger.” He exhaled before continuing again. “We are here to protect this world and I’ll be damned if I let a mortal get in my way.” Laslow stepped back, avoiding Odin’s anger, while Selena looked at Xander who seemed quite perturbed. Odin sighed, letting his shoulders sag slightly, and he shook his head. “Until you have heard the whole story and listened to our information, hold your inquiries for the end.”

“Odin…? You’re a prince?” Leo asked with an incredulous air and Niles seemed confused as well. Odin nodded while Laslow took a step forward.

“Yes… We come from the land of Ylisse. Another world.” The crowd looked at each other, confused and worried, until Selena sighed and shook her head, waving her hand.

“It’s not too hard to understand, right? Anankos summoned us from our world so we could defeat him. We’ve killed a dragon once, so clearly we’re qualified for the job. And,” she turned to Xander, “we didn’t mention this earlier because it’s pretty farfetched. Only now that Kamui and Azura hold another piece of the puzzle were we able to come forth.”

“You’re… from a whole other world?” Camilla asked, voice light, and Selena nodded her head, face becoming downcast. “And you’ve defeated another dragon? That explains your fighting prowess…”

“I was going to add that Kamui wasn’t the only child of Anankos,” Odin continued, still locking gazes with Xander. “Lilith too is Anankos’s spawn and is such the sister of Kamui.” Kamui’s eyes widened even further and she leaned on the table, assisted in part by Jakob.

“We must still keep with our plan,” Laslow cautioned Xander, who finally looked at him. “Now that we know Garon is possessed, we must continue to Hoshido and reveal Anankos in full. If we don’t defeat him there, this world is doomed to a terrible fate.”

“How would you know of that fate?” Leo asked rather scornfully, probably irked about being lied to for years. “How would you know what Anankos plans to do?”

“We’ve already been through that kind of hell,” Selena commented casually, waving her hand to the side. “You don’t want to see it.”

“How…?” Kamui muttered and Jakob leaned her back up. “Why…?”

“Do you have any other witnesses than Lilith?” Elise questioned quietly, eyes downcast. “Is there anyone else here from your world?”

“No…” Selena muttered, rubbing her neck. “But…”

“She told me.” Kamui startled and looked quickly at her butler, eyes still wide. He looked away toward the wall of the medical tent casually, though Selena could see through his thin visage. “Though, she conveniently left Anankos out of the story.”

“I couldn’t tell you that, of course,” Selena sighed, looking down. “I just… couldn’t…”

“Well, with all of this, we need to come up with a new course of action,” Camilla sighed, smoothing out a few maps. “We need to save Father as soon as possible without letting Iago or the thing possessing him know. The world depends on it.”

“You believe them?” Xander gaped, still incredulous, while Leo eyed Odin curiously.

“I have no reason to think Selena and her friends would lie to us,” Camilla cautioned, standing up straighter against her older brother, eyes hard. “I have trusted her with my life for years. I’m not about to stop now.”

“Their story makes sense,” Azura muttered, hand to her chin, and the crowd looked at her. “Anankos seems to be the ruler of another world. I’ve heard bits and pieces about him and Garon worships him. The servant would worship the ruler.”

“Odin isn’t one to lie,” Leo continued. “Of course, he’s never yelled at me in anger, but if he really is of equal rank to us it would make sense that he would only reveal it now. How would they know if we would react well to visitors from another world?”

“Father assigned them to you as well,” Elise reaffirmed. “Maybe the good part of Anankos influenced him.”

“If he was possessed even then…” Xander rubbed his forehead.

“Milord, I would never lie to you,” Laslow muttered quietly and Xander looked up, nervous. “You know that. We truly are from another world here to save this one. Your death is farthest from our minds.” The prince hesitated, but looked at his siblings for answers.

“Xander, it makes sense. Why else would Father do these terrible things? Why would he suddenly start worshiping the dragon?” Camilla cautioned before exhaling slowly. “I have no doubt in my mind.”

“We can’t just ignore Father’s orders,” Xander mumbled, looking over the maps they had received from Iago. “If we do then the thing possessing him will be suspicious…”

“You believe them?” Leo asked quickly, eyes betraying no suspicion, and he smiled. “Even you, the most stubborn out of any of us, are seeing reason.”

“I was never closed off to the idea,” Xander muttered, “but I had to make absolute sure that it wasn’t a lie.”

“So you’re really from another world, huh?” Elise asked quickly, hands crossed behind her back, and Odin nodded. “What was it like?”

“Well, it’s a bit of a story…” Odin looked over at Laslow who laughed.

“The world we saved is quite pretty, but the world that we had to abandon, our birth world, was destroyed by a dragon.” Laslow waved his hand as Silas crossed his arms, confused. “I won’t bother explaining it, but we were able to defeat the dark dragon and everyone’s alive to tell the tale.”

“Will Anankos be as easy to defeat?” Jakob cautioned, looking at a weak Kamui as he did so. “Our army is already weak as it is and if this is after Hoshido’s conquest we may not have enough power. We may even lose.”

“Well…” Selena sighed. When defeating Grima they had Naga’s help and the power of the Falchion. Now? They had Brynhildr and Siegfriend, not to mention the royals. Perhaps they could recruit other Hoshidans to help them, but the chances were slim. “Anankos is definitely not as strong as the other dragon we fought due to the circumstances, but it certainly won’t be easy.”

“Will… will any of us die…?” Elise murmured, voice dark, and Odin and Laslow looked at each other.

“We don’t know. Though,” Odin sighed, crossing his arms, “the chances are about the same as this war. None of us have died yet, though some have come close,” he added, looking at Jakob who winced. “What happens… will happen.”

“You seem much darker than normal, Odin,” Niles murmured, a smirk on his face, and he leaned off of the wall. “Dark subject is dark actions, huh?”

“Well! It was a serious topic so I couldn’t add my normal flair!” Odin shouted, posing again, and Selena smiled. The mood seemed to shift back to normal and even Xander seemed to relax slightly as Charlotte tapped his shoulder, shaking her head.

“Well, we need to start coming up with a plan,” Leo sighed, grabbing another map. “Are you guys up to it?”

“Naturally!” Odin shouted while Laslow gave a thumbs up. They both looked toward Selena who crossed her arms, a smirk on her face.

“Well, I guess I can help out. You guys need my knowledge after all.”

Camilla laughed and rubbed her shoulder as she walked over. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

. . .

Selena sipped slowly on her drink, musing on how she finally revealed herself to everyone. Her past hadn’t burned on her chest, of course, but it felt… liberating to let everyone know who they really were. Perhaps they would see them in a different light and finally remove reasons for any mistrust, though Xander seemed to be the only one who really doubted them. Even now he remained extremely possessive of his father and it was only logical that he’d be opposed to anything dealing with Garon’s ‘liberation’. She had to wonder what he had done before his possession to make Xander oppose making him better. What sort of father had he been?

She moved over slightly as she noticed Jakob walk into the area and he sat down next to her, holding his own drink carefully. “Well. Now you have all the pieces,” Selena murmured before taking another drink, looking to the forest with a casual air.

“I’m not surprised you never told me of the dragon, though it makes the part about fighting for the greater part of the war a lie,” Jakob muttered while taking a drink himself. “I can’t blame you; though, if you had told me of it before now I probably would have believed you.”

Selena’s eyes flickered and she looked down, feeling a pinch of pain hit her heart as she grimaced.

“So, we’ll fight Anankos within three months if all goes to plan? And after that… your mission will be over…” He trailed off quietly, letting his voice ring into the still air. “And you’ll… leave Nohr…”

“Yea… Four months at the most…” Selena whispered, looking down as she clasped her hands tighter around her drink, feeling the cold burn into her skin as her knuckles turned whiter. “It… it doesn’t seem real, I guess…”

“Is there anything else you… haven’t told us…?” Jakob prompted, looking at her, and she blinked before looking at him, noticing his suspiciously blank expression and she wondered what he was hiding.

“No… Nothing except for specifics,” Selena muttered while looking away, embarrassed that she would even consider words like that, “and I don’t think Princess Elise needs to hear about the dark future. I don’t need to give her more nightmares.” She became silent and left Jakob to his own thoughts as she slowly finished her drink and set the glass to the side with a small tap, watching the sun dip ever slower below the tree line, casting orange shadows across the camp.

“I don’t…” Selena looked up as Jakob paused in the middle of his sentence and watched as he leaned down, grimacing with a pained noise. “I don’t want you to leave…” he managed to whisper and Selena shifted her position slightly, turning to face him with shock and surprise. “When I think about a world where you aren’t there…” He leaned his face on his hand, curling inwards ever so slightly as he exhaled. “It hurts… It hurts so much…”

Selena froze, feeling his sentiment impact her immediately, and her heart clenched with the emotion from his words. She could almost feel her eyes tearing up at the thought. “I…”

Jakob looked at her, moving his hand slightly down his face and away from his eyes, and Selena quietly gasped when she saw his hurt expression, moving her hand back slightly. He narrowed his eyes, still grimacing, before he turned his head and looked away, perhaps embarrassed. Selena leaned over and touched his shoulder, quickly asking if he was ok. Jakob leaned into her touch, sighing sadly as he did so. “Jakob…?” Selena’s voice was hardly above a whisper, conveying her worry easily, and she gasped as Jakob swiftly embraced her in a tight hug, holding her closely to his chest, and she felt his fingers dig into the cloth at her shoulder. Selena stiffened and inhaled sharply, feeling her face flush with heat, and she grabbed his shoulders awkwardly. “J-Jakob!?” He didn’t answer and instead pressed his face further into her neck, sighing slowly.

“I’m sorry…” Jakob murmured, voice barely loud enough for Selena to pick up, and she felt her blush deepen as her mind succumbed to his embrace. “In the end… my dependence on others is crippling…” He laughed quietly and Selena tilted her head, confused, but still flustered. “When I think about how someday I’ll… never see you again…” He held her tighter and she felt his arm press against her waist. “I’m afraid I hardly have the strength to carry on… But even then… I don’t have the confidence to…” He trailed off, leaving the rest of his sentence to the void, and Selena slowly returned his embrace, touching his hair with gentle fingers.

“Sometimes it hurts me too…” She laughed, feeling tears run down her face despite everything and they cooled down her cheeks slightly. “I don’t… I don’t even have anything positive to add to that.” She sniffed before rubbing her eyes carefully, making sure not to hit Jakob in the process. “It’s something that I’ve had to carry for years now… I know that…” She paused as Jakob leaned into her more, probably unwilling to hear her continue her statement, nothing more. “I know that I’ll hurt other people,” she murmured. “I know that people will be sad when I leave…”

“More than that…” Jakob whispered before pulling back slightly. He breathed in to add something, but apparently thought the better of it and fell silent, running his fingers along her back instead. “I’m sorry… but I don’t know if I can let go…”

“No… I’m sorry… For putting you through this kind of pain,” Selena answered quietly, patting his head in a hopefully comforting fashion as she hugged him tighter. “It’s… regretful that this is the kind of path the world has decided to give us, but perhaps some good will come out of it.”

Jakob didn’t answer, but stilled, and she wondered if he was actually thinking on her words. She exhaled and slowly pulled back, alerting Jakob to lean back as well, and she looked into his eyes for a few seconds before moving her hand forward, pausing, and reaching up cautiously to wipe away his tears. She reached her other hand up to do the same and he leaned into her touch again, grabbing her hand with his as she held his face still, looking sadly into his eyes. “Even if I can’t remain in this world forever… I’m here for a reason.” She paused as he returned her gaze, eyes still shining with tears. “Even I have a purpose, however small.” She sighed, looking downcast, before she slowly removed her hands and Jakob released her hand. “I told myself, even then, that getting close to others would be a death spell for me… I suppose it still is.”

“Do you regret these bonds you have formed…?” Jakob murmured, prompting her to look into his eyes again with confusion, though he glanced away at the gesture.

“Not now I suppose.” She paused, looking at the setting sun. “I know I will later.” She sighed loudly, slumping her shoulders. “Why else would I refuse to make any close friends even now?”

“Then… what am I to you, Selena…?”

She opened her mouth, searching for a response in vain, and she slowly closed her mouth again.

“I… don’t know…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having problems writing some scenes in the next chapter (lots of deleting) and I figure saying 'learn flower language) in the story just doesn't work, so I'll say it here.  
> Man the flower language actually means something lolol. That's it  
> Happy reading~


	20. A Path to Follow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly shorter than normal? I think. Or rather next chapter will be as this and next chapter were originally the same, but they would have been too long together and I haven't finished the next part, so I have this now! It fits better this way anyway.  
> I've also found this game called rpg maker so I downloaded the demo and now i have no life because im trying to learn the program to see if its worth buying and i cri  
> I've also had another idea for this fic. I've worked in a lot of small things and reactions that bounce of of later/earlier reactions etc and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in seeing an analysis/reasoning behind the way I've written things. Others could also comment and leave their own thoughts behind certain points. I would put this in google docs of course because online word is... not as good. If anyone would be interested in this idea I would do it, but I won't do it if no one is really interested in analysis.  
> I'm a nerd for english i know.

Slowly, predictably, the vanguard prepared for the final warfront and the breaching of Hoshido. Though the new plan had been implemented for the better part of a month, and it had taken them that amount of time to even reach near the fort, members had still been slightly suspicious until Odin and Laslow fully convinced them, mostly Nyx and Gunter who predictably suspected their claims.

Perhaps because of the imminent end, Jakob began spending more time with Selena and she found it even comparing to the time he had spent around Kamui. Certainly she was married now and had her own things to deal with, but being with Jakob for more than a few hours at a time put Selena on edge for a reason she couldn’t (wouldn’t) determine.

They performed a few more cooking competitions of course, even allowing Charlotte and Peri to take part, but Selena had to wonder what he was playing at.

“Lady Kamui mentioned this dress I bought for her was a size or two too large. Unfortunately, such a size wouldn’t fit on Lady Elise or Lady Camilla, so I was wondering if you would appreciate it.” Jakob held up a dress adorned with finer cloth than she could ever hope to afford (at least in Nohr anyway; in Ylisse she was a war hero and respected accordingly). It shone a brilliant shade of blue and would likely have gone with Kamui’s hair quite well.

Selena took the garment from Jakob’s hands, casually brushing against his fingers, and admired the stitching work for a few seconds. “Perhaps.” She held it up against her chest, testing the length and width. “It could fit I guess, but I don’t have time to try it on now.” She sighed and folded it up, ignoring Jakob’s inquisitive look. “If it doesn’t I guess I can give it to Peri or Charlotte? Though I bet Peri has a bunch of dresses like this already…”

“Hm, I hope it fits you then.”

His words confused her even then, but after she shared her confusion about his close proximity he clung to her less. After that, she felt strangely lonely, but chalked it up to her getting used to his presence. That was the only thing it could be anyway, she couldn’t believe otherwise.

Eventually he invited her out to stargaze and began pointing out various constellations that he had memorized during his time spent in the fortress. Selena wasn’t opposed to such an event as they had been taking their time in the astral realm to prepare properly and neither of them needed to get up early in the morning.

“I believe that one is some sort of flower, though Lady Kamui and I were never able to figure out the specific type,” he explained evenly while gesturing up into the sky.

“I’m almost surprised the sky here is the same sky that’s in Nohr,” Selena mused, reflecting back on the Ylissean constellations. “Maybe this isn’t a pocket dimension but some kind of transportation to another country.”

Jakob shrugged next to her before shifting his position. “It wouldn’t be surprising if that was the case, but there isn’t quite enough data for that sort of assumption.”

“Eh, I guess it doesn’t matter that much,” Selena mumbled before she stretched, sighing out as she did so. “Either way it’s nice to relax like this. You can see the stars really well from this astral realm. In Krakenburg everything was bright enough to block out most of the stars and that was if you were lucky to go outside in the first place.”

“Lady Kamui and I did not venture outside… Much like her, Felicia, Flora, and I were restricted to the foretress most days.” Jakob sighed before leaning up on his good arm, looking toward Selena. “What was the sky in… Ylisse like?”

Selena leaned up as well, sitting upright without assistance and Jakob eventually changed his position to reflect hers. “Well, there were constellations of course, but they were different. The sky was…” She trailed off to consider her words with more care. “It was brighter after we saved the world. There weren’t as many clouds either, so we could see the stars more often than you can in Nohr.” She raised her hand before lowering it again, turning to Jakob as she leaned back. “I’m not really sure. I didn’t really care too much.”

“I suppose that makes sense, you don’t seem like that kind of person anyway,” Jakob mused while he straightened the collar of his shirt with an almost nervous gesture. He sighed again before moving over slightly. “When I think about how moments like these are few and far between… It makes me want to spend more time with you.”

Selena blushed and looked away, biting her lip. “Well, I can’t spend _all_ of my time with you of course. Beruka and Lady Camilla like to spend time with me as well and training with Beruka and Charlotte is helpful…”

“I wish I could say the same of Laslow, but his training has taken a harsh curve down,” Jakob lamented while shaking his head. “Odin is rather helpful, however, despite his proficiency being in magic.”

“Ah, makes sense,” Selena muttered, shifting her hand subconsciously closer to Jakob’s. “Odin’s pretty smart at a few different subjects. Though, I’m even more so,” she chuckled, smirking as she looked over at Jakob with a smile on her face.

Jakob laughed slightly as well, closing his eyes as he did so.

“I suppose I wasn’t the best at swordplay in my group, but I’m fine if Lucina has that title…” She flinched back as she noticed Jakob reaching forward and she stiffened nervously. “W-what?”

“Just a leaf in your hair.” He brushed the object out of her bangs with a soft touch and Selena felt her cheeks becoming red again despite her best effort. He slowly brushed his fingers down her cheek, staring into her eyes with a vacant look that startled her slightly, putting her on edge for some strange reason, and her heart skipped a beat before increasing its tempo.

“J-Jakob…?” Her legs felt weak and she was having problems supporting herself, but he eventually pulled away with a quiet apology and his touch lingered on her skin.

“Sorry… I…” His eyes grew dim as he completely leaned back. “Sometimes I… have problems maintaining decorum… around you…” He closed his eyes, almost adopting a grimace, before he pushed himself up, sighing. “I apologize… It’s late and we should both retire. Tomorrow is another day after all.”

Selena watched him walk away, confused at the encounter, but as much as she tried, the blush didn’t disappear from her cheeks and she went to bed with a light feeling in her chest. Though they both clearly tried to ignore that last action from the night before they tender footed around the subject the next morning, opting for light talk instead.

Clearly the air was different around them and Selena doubted the peace could be kept for much longer.

A week or so later, Selena hadn’t bothered keeping track, Kamui gathered Selena, Odin, and Laslow to confirm their words and solidify more of their plan. “Now that we’re a few days’ worth from the fort, we can make more precise planning as far as scouting goes,” Kamui explained while moving her finger across the map in front of Odin and Laslow as Selena finished writing a few words on a piece of paper. “Garon’s army is almost there, so we need to arrive at the same location when they do. That location is… a few hours from the fort.” Kamui pointed at another section of the map carefully before looking up to Odin and Laslow. “I want to make absolute sure that our ultimate plan is not spoiled to Iago and Garon. Hans shouldn’t overhear it either, though I doubt he’s ultimately in on it.”

“Well, if he heard about it he’d certainly jump at the chance for murder,” Selena drawled before setting the paper down.

“As sad as it is,” Jakob mused before rolling up the map and fastening it closed. “It seems that all of our plans are concrete, though. I doubt we’ll have to do much adjusting, Lady Kamui.”

She smirked for an unknown reason and side-eyed Selena while Jakob flushed and hissed at the princess. “Yea, I doubt it.” Selena narrowed her eyes at the pair, confused.

“Well,” Odin sighed and crossed his arms, “I doubt we can do anything much to avoid Garon’s wrath. Hopefully there won’t be many villagers in the area.”

“It’s Hoshido,” Laslow muttered. “They haven’t had the force of government’s grip in forever. I doubt they’ll treat this war seriously until something bad happens.”

“Well, we can’t necessarily treat it like that,” Kamui sighed before she rolled up the second map. “I do like your additional information, though, and Kaze has helped a lot with specific strategical planning.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Like me, Azura never had the chance to travel anywhere, though apparently the rest of the royal family is the same…”

“Your siblings,” Jakob muttered while Kamui shrugged.

“We’d be half siblings,” Kamui supposed while looking at the trio. “Mikoto should be their mother, right?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Selena shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Maybe Mikoto isn’t even your mother. We’ll never really know, not while your only living links are not of full blood or insane.”

She sighed and shook her head again, shifting the maps under her arms. “I suppose the pieces make sense, but why does this even have to happen…?”

“I suppose the gods wish to put a proper challenge in front of you to prove your worth!” Odin shouted, standing in yet another outlandish pose while Selena sighed and Laslow chuckled. “You must prove your birthright! You are a powerful half-dragon after all. No doubt that warrants proper testing.”

Kamui shrugged, but began smiling again all the same. “Well, I’ll succeed with this test as I would any other.” She looked over to Jakob for a second and he bowed quickly before escorting her out of the small tent. Odin quickly followed, though Laslow hung back for a second to give Selena a prodding look before he too left the area.

Selena trained a bit more with Niles and Gunter; the former checked her posture and aim with the bow while Gunter gave her pointers with horse combat. She had learned well of course and she had already had a basis upon which to learn, though after the staircase she requested more specialized training. Jakob sat to the side, waiting for his turn with Laslow and Odin, who seemed to also want more sword training.

“Well, your accuracy isn’t garbage at least,” Niles sighed while ripping an arrow out of the target with a careful hand and twirling it carelessly. “I suppose you’ll hit your enemies somewhere at least.”

“Isn’t that what we want? I’m not there for front-line combat,” Selena snarked back before stuffing the arrows in her quiver. “Besides, my balance is a lot better.”

“Despite that, not much can be done against golem combat,” Gunter replied as the three walked out of the area, replacing themselves with the next group, “but now that we’re in Hoshido, I doubt Iago or King Garon will send such enemies against us. It would be too dangerous at this point.”

“Hmm, speaking of that, Azura said she cleansed you once,” Selena sighed, crossing her arms. “So even you had been touched by Anakos?”

“Indeed, though I am surprised you three hadn’t been overtaken,” Gunter swiftly replied, mimicking her action. “It almost makes me wonder if anyone else is contaminated.”

“No one here at least, Azura made sure of that,” Selena sighed, ignoring Niles’s snarky expression. “Why can’t there ever be a war without some kind of god taking the helm? Let us mortals do what we want for a change…”

“I suppose the gods are the ones that control everything after all,” Niles sighed in response before he walked away, perhaps off to do something for Leo. Gunter dipped his head to Selena before he too retired off to do something else and Selena found herself sitting alone for lunch before Laslow, Odin, and Jakob finished with their training, sitting around her to compare techniques and the like. There seemed to exist an unspoken agreement between the three, but Selena didn’t really feel like inquiring about the tense tone so she simply let it be. Those three could deal with their own problems anyway.

“Well, now that your arm is better, we could start bringing in more two-handed techniques…”

“If it will help me, then I see no reason to avoid it.”

Selena chewed on her sandwich for a few seconds before she leaned on Jakob, looking at the notes he had written with a casual eye, and he stiffened beneath her shoulder. “Hmm, I suppose the therapy has paid off then?” She took his arm with a careful grip and moved his shoulder, feeling the muscle beneath her other hand as Jakob tensely leaned back in his chair, clearly perturbed, and Selena released him quickly, suddenly embarrassed.

“Thanks to Lady Kamui anyway,” Laslow sighed as he leaned his face in his hand, cleanly aware of the situation unfolding in front of him, and Odin smiled, nodding his head. “I suppose it’s more useful that way. She’s more clever than she lets on sometimes.”

“Of course Lady Kamui has high class intelligence,” Jakob sighed, crossing his arms as his blush slowly faded away, “Prince Leo and I taught her after all.”

“Oh, you have high class intelligence?” Selena teased, sticking her tongue out as Jakob turned to stare at her, and she took another bite of her lunch. “I never could have guessed.”

“It would take one to know one I suppose, making your conclusion only obvious,” he teased back easily and Selena huffed, making a face.

“I can read you well and you know it,” Selena replied as a final argument before she shifted through his notes again, annotating a few of them quickly, before she returned her dishes to the kitchen and began her shift.

Once again they met up at night to do some more casual discussions, though there still existed the awkward tenseness that had suddenly cropped up the week before, or perhaps had lingered for longer. Selena didn’t like it at all, but she figured it was better than _the alternative_ which was something she would never actually come to terms with of course.

Admitting out loud that clearly they both had _something_ for each other would be a clean and swift death sentence for her, so she opted to keep it silent. _Ultimately it will be better that way,_ she thought to herself casually as she settled herself down and took a sip of water as Jakob laid out an assortment of flowers, _the only thing I fear more than myself getting hurt would be him going through that same kind of pain…_ She continued to casually watch him as he sorted the plants in some sort of order; it wasn’t by color and she couldn’t guess as to his classifications. “Whatchu doing?”

Jakob finished setting the flowers in separate groups before leaning back and he turned to face Selena with a casual expression. “Lady Elise handed me these flowers and told me to have fun. I’m not entirely sure what I can do with this now, but it’s a start I suppose.”

“Hmm, I don’t really feel like doing flower crowns or anything, but the flowers look too good to simply waste,” Selena commented with a sigh and she slowly shifted closer to him, casually brushing against his hand with her own.

“I was thinking of maybe braiding this into your hair, but it would take far too long and it’s already night…” Selena bit her lip at that comment and looked down at the piles of flowers. The feeling of his fingers running through her hair would be… cathartic at the very least and she didn’t want to think about what would happen on the other side of the spectrum.

_Gods, maybe I am hopeless…_

“Well,” Selena posed, scooting backwards slightly so that Jakob could look at her easier as she casually brushed a part of her hair behind her ear, “I’m sure if I did it to you it wouldn’t take as long. Your hair’s straight as well, so it would be easier to take out in the end.” At her suggestion he seemed to blush slightly, though it could have also been a trick of the lighting, Selena wasn’t sure.

“…Perhaps… That wouldn’t be as bad…” He gulped before sorting the flowers further, surely out of anxiety as opposed to a chosen method. “Though I’m afraid your work won’t last very long.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Selena sighed before shifting again and sitting behind him after she grabbed a few bunches of the flowers. “Usually the nicest things only last for a short amount of time.” Jakob became silent as she slowly undid his hair, letting it fall down his shoulders.

“I suppose… that statement is correct… No matter how much it hurts.” She ran her fingers through the strands thoughtlessly, thinking _just for a moment_ that she’d like to be able to kiss the back of his neck and brush her fingers across his skin and feel the warmth of his body. The shame of her thoughts washed over her, so she shoved down her embarrassment and began casually braiding his hair after gathering and parting some of it, threading the strands together as she weaved some indigo flowers into his hair with a practiced hand. She snipped a few stems with her fingers before fitting them into his hair again, weaving it further together with a light touch.

She let his hair fall between her fingers as she measured the length. He seemed to have been growing it out slightly, as it went down farther than his shoulder blades, and she wondered for a second what he would look like if he cut it off. She shook her head and continued on her work, ignoring the way he straightened his spine when she accidently brushed against his back with her fingers or carelessly touched his neck.

Jakob exhaled slowly and she noticed him wringing his hands together in thought as she slowly continued, grabbing some red flowers next to combine with small blue ones, the name of which escaped her at the moment. “Hm, I’m about halfway done, I suppose.”

“You’re fairly quick,” he commented carefully before sorting a few more flowers, ones Selena had passed over. “I suppose your hand-eye coordination has been tempered by years of necessity.”

“It’s not really that deep,” Selena sighed while she wove another stem into his hair before sorting a few other flowers, looking to the side as she did so. “This isn’t unintuitive after all.” He let a few more minutes of silence pass between them as Selena continued further down, hitting the third quarter of his hair, she supposed, judging by his shoulder blades, before he spoke up again.

“I have a… question.”

“Yea? What about?” Selena muttered while weaving some tricky stems into his hair, snapping off a few leaves as she did so to avoid tangling as.

“Have you… have you ever thought about… settling down with someone…?” His question was posed innocent enough, though his tone and posture suggested that there was definitely some deeper prodding going on, and Selena shrugged, pausing in her work sharply.

“Of course I have. Not recently of course for… various reasons.” _Reasons that I won’t mention to anyone, least of all you._ “Mostly after the war in Ylisse.” She leaned back and stretched her shoulders, taking a short break for her hands and she looked at the braid for a few seconds. “After all the suffering I had been through I could finally look forward to things in life. Sure I was only seventeen, but I still dreamed.” She sighed mournfully as she rested on her hands, looking at the pile of flowers before her. “Though I knew I could never be with Lucina, at least I could dream of other things, other imaginary people…”

“I wondered if she had been the object of your affections,” Jakob commented lightly, thinly, and she wondered at his tone. “You spoke of her most often, save Odin and Laslow.”

“Well,” Selena blushed despite herself, huffing all the while, “she was Lucina! Wielder of the legendary Falchion, daughter of Chrom, leader of an army! Or what was left of it anyway…” She sighed and shrugged, turning back to her work. “I’m surprised Odin hasn’t mentioned her more, they’re cousins after all,” she muttered while brushing through his hair with her fingers.

“So you’re attracted to both men and women? Interesting,” Jakob muttered, a light tone gracing his language as he touched his chin.

“Pfft! I don’t believe I’ve ever made my affections to any man, let alone anyone else. Even Lucina hardly knew I crushed on her.” Selena sighed at the prospect as she weaved a smaller lily into his hair, nearly finished.

“Hm? Is that truly what you think?”

Selena flushed at his insinuation, pausing in her work again, and he certainly noticed his hesitation with the way he angled his head back slightly to look at her and she leaned back with indignation. “W-well, I dunno, I never thought much about _being_ with someone. Obviously. After I turned nineteen I came here after all and I didn’t - don’t-“ she stuttered for a few seconds before inhaling once. “I don’t think I want to be with anyone from here. I couldn’t do that to someone, just leaving like that…”

“What if they wanted to be with you despite that fact?” Jakob murmured, voice light enough to where she almost missed it, and she shuddered at the insinuation; though, not in a bad way. If she could somehow embrace that reality, or perhaps falsity… maybe it would be a little bit worth it.

“I would refuse anyway, I _think_ ,” Selena shrugged, trying to be as non-committal as possible, face red as she finished off the braid with a quick hand, ending with a pretty pink camellia, adjusting it so that it sat in his hair nicely. “Maybe they wouldn’t care, but I would. How could I be with someone when I know I’m going to put them through more pain than… anything they could possibly imagine?” She exhaled and leaned on her knees as he turned to face her, holding his hair over his shoulder to admire her work for a few seconds before he turned back to the conversation.

“They’ve imagined it, Selena,” Jakob muttered again, meeting her eyes shortly before quickly looking away as he gathered up the remaining flowers. “The question is: have you?” He looked up at her and she stiffened in surprise, eyes narrowing with a hint of fear.

“Of course… of course I have…”

“Perhaps you’ve imagined the parting,” Jakob sighed, looking down and casting his eyes in shadow before he looked back up at her, eyes pitying. “But have you imagined what would occur before?”

She opened her mouth once before finding she couldn’t answer, perturbed at her silence and his expression, and she looked to the side and bit her lip again, pulse pounding. “I…” She shuddered and rubbed her arms for a few seconds, still looking to the side. “How could I possibly get my hopes up like that…?”

Jakob sighed, closing his eyes in exasperation, and he shook his head before grabbing one of the flowers he had set to the side before with a practiced hand. “Have some faith in your hopes and feelings, Selena. They’re there for a reason, are they not?” He snapped the stem of the rose he held in his hand before setting it in her hair, behind her right ear, and brushed her bangs out of her eyes gently. She looked up at him as he did so, debating his words for a few seconds before she blinked and touched the petals of the rose with her fingers. “Red and yellow,” he explained as he leaned back again, though only barely. “It goes well with your hair.”

 _Hm, I’ve heard that before,_ Selena thought to herself before she sighed deeply, resigning herself to a feeling of calm. “I haven’t had a lot of luck with feelings and things like that. You of all people would know…”

“No, you haven’t had a lot of luck,” Jakob agreed softly before cupping her cheeks in his hands, staring into her eyes, and she blinked a few times. “Everything you’ve done is from your own work. You lay claim to all of your achievements, including those you refuse to see.” His gaze softened after the slight chastising, the faintest of smiles on his lips, and he ran his thumb across her jawline, causing a tingle to run down her spine. He let his right hand fall as Selena touched his left hand, holding it slightly in place before he lowered even that, holding her hand delicately in his before bringing the tips of her fingers to his lips, placing a soft, barely-tangible kiss to her skin, eyes closed. Selena inhaled sharply, but with a lilt so quiet the only way Jakob could have known was if he had been paying attention to her breathing and pulse. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and surely her cheeks were dyed the sharpest of reds. Even with the embarrassment and feeling of foreboding, she couldn’t tear her hand away and continued to watch, stricken, as Jakob slowly moved to her wrist, placing another kiss to her vein as he tilted his head slightly, causing Selena to flush more.

Her skin suddenly felt hypersensitive; she could feel his tender grip on her hand, his gentle breath on the skin of her wrist, and the warmth of his lips over her pulse, which was now currently going the speed of ten horses despite her best efforts of otherwise. He opened his eyes halfway and stared ahead, not meeting her gaze, and she saw a mixture of emotions: mournfulness, but a sort of yearning, a longing that stiffened her spine. She felt her arm tingle and she began to take her hand back as Jakob yielded, realizing himself once again, and he leaned back with a grimace on his face as he exhaled slowly, releasing a breath he perhaps didn’t know he was holding. “I apologize again…” He whispered thinly and slumped ever so slightly. “I… I can’t keep doing this… thinking thoughts like this…” He winced as she looked at him in full, eyes thinly concealing a unique kind of pain, but before she could mutter another word he stood up, picking the remaining flowers from the ground, and turned away. “Tomorrow…” He took another breath, clearly steeling himself for something. “Tomorrow could you meet with me around this time? Near the treehouse. If you can’t or don’t want to that’s fine, but I want to…” He trailed off, muttering something about ‘putting things right’, but his back was facing her and her ears weren’t completely working like they should.

She murmured her approval before she could stop herself and eventually Jakob retired to his room, disappearing from her view. As he eventually distanced himself enough out of hearing range, Selena gripped her wrist, eyes wide and face blank with muted surprise, as she curled inwards, holding her hand close to her heart. Despite that, tears did not prick at her eyes and all she could do was give a final gasp, bridled with realization.

_Oh gods no… please don’t… please don’t let me continue to fall in love with him…_

Even then, she knew she was too far gone. That horizon had been crossed long ago and as she reached her room she plucked the rose out from her hair and set it on the desk with the two others, faded and wilted, after one last glance and she sunk into her comforter, hugging her pillow tightly to her face.

_Gods… I’m losing my resolve…_

. . .

 She went through the day much the same as always, though a prick of dread kept weaving itself into her daily thoughts. Camilla and Beruka noticed her actions were slightly off, though she waved them off and Camilla as too busy to do much asking, though Beruka took her to the side around lunch and had an in-depth conversation with her.

Selena denied anything of course, though mentioned that she and Jakob were going to be doing something again that night, and Beruka narrowed her eyes in thought. She was clearly suspicious of something, but Selena headed off to do some work before she could question her further.

She ran into Kamui later on around lunch time and she pulled the retainer over to her lunch table before Selena could refuse. “I saw Jakob’s hair last night. You’re pretty good at color theory,” Kamui commented casually as Selena shook her head.

“It was just basic stuff… A few small things,” Selena muttered while picking at her food, not really feeling up to a comprehensive discussion with Kamui about what happened last night, though Jakob likely had told her a few things. It was all too embarrassing for her to comprehend, but she felt herself yearning for something more at the same time despite it all. “It was just flowers, it’s not really that much.”

“Well, I think it looked nice,” Kamui muttered as she began on her meal while Charlotte rested her arm on the table, mind elsewhere. Selena let her mind wander back to the previous night, trying to stop a furious blush from appearing on her face once again, as she debated whether or not she should actually humor Jakob’s request. She didn’t know what he would have wanted (though there were certainly some ideas that she could entertain; she didn’t know if she wanted them to come true or not), but she figured there wouldn’t be anything malicious. Jakob wasn’t really like that; if he wanted someone to suffer he would be outright about it.

“You seem lost in thought, Selena,” Charlotte commented casually, gaze elsewhere as she casually sipped on her drink. “Something happen?”

Selena’s mind immediately flew to that scene, but she tried to deny it as vehemently as possible while giving Charlotte a casual look and deny anything important with a calm voice. She didn’t seem to buy it, however, and called Selena out on her bluff. “Your voice is really light, that’s not normal. Clearly you’re covering up something.”

“No, of course not… Why would I…?” Selena trailed off, smiling casually, and bit into her meal to avoid further talking.

“’Why would you’ indeed,” Kamui sighed, shaking her head, and Selena had no doubt that Kamui knew exactly what had occurred. She felt slightly miffed at Jakob for saying something so callously, but perhaps she had been able to worm it out of him. The princess shrugged dismissively. “Business between you two is only between you two, but I can’t help but feel I need to be an intermediary sometimes, especially when both sides are so obstinate about everything… Jeez,” she added with a sigh, “it took me months just to get Jakob’s true feelings out of his mouth…”

“What would those be? He’s actually ok with everyone in the army?” Charlotte joked rudely before she took another drink.

“Well yea,” Kamui answered quickly, “he never hated anyone to begin with, he just never really saw meaning in interacting with others. He pretended to be cruel, but was actually pretty nice to begin with, though Silas and Selena were the only ones who really saw that side… Maybe Kaze too? I dunno.”

“Eh, I don’t know about that,” Selena sighed, pushing some food to the side of her plate with her fork, hand holding her cheek. “Maybe he wasn’t cruel, but it was almost as if he went out of his way to avoid doing nice things for others. I guess he was socially stunted from growing up in the tower like Lady Kamui.”

“Then why aren’t Felicia and Flora like that?” Charlotte questioned quickly.

“They arrived at the tower when they were teenagers,” Kamui explained with a hand wave. “Jakob was… ten? Eleven? I can’t quite remember, as a kid my memory was pretty bad.” She shrugged, a dismissive look on her face. “I wouldn’t have been worried about him if he had at least had decent social experiences previously, but nothing good happened.”

“He’s ok now though, it’s not like a bad childhood automatically means you suffer as an adult,” Selena commented, thinking about her own past again. “Of course it took a while, but…”

“He was never really bad in the first place though,” Kamui defended him quickly. “The only person who really needed personality work was Peri and she’s also better now…”

“No thanks to Xander,” Charlotte huffed before taking another drink and Kamui flinched at the casualness of her speech. Selena wondered if there was something between the two that needed to be worked out. It was likely.

Kamui seemed to notice that there seemed to be some kind of argument between the two, but didn’t want to pry, so she turned back to Selena. “Well, he said he had something planned tonight. What are you going to do?”

“I won’t snuff him of course,” Selena flushed, looking away before taking another bite. “I hope it won’t be too late though.”

It ended up not being very late; the moon hung over the tips of the trees and cast its soft white glow across the land though the sun couldn’t say the same. The whole event embarrassed Selena and she felt the pricks of anxiety touch her nerves, but she continued to wait the few minutes until Jakob finished with his last chore. Though she was nervous of course, she was also curious as to what he actually wanted to discuss. She had a feeling, of course; surely such a decision would be inexorably linked to his actions the night before.

Even now her fingers tingled at the sensation and she gripped her wrist, trying to rub away the feeling of his tender touch.

He made his way over to her easily and nothing betrayed anything out of the ordinary save maybe his clearly rankled visage. Why he would be nervous she had no clue, but she figured he would be able to work it out on his own. “So… What did you want to discuss? Why do we even have to be out here…?” She rubbed her fingers over her knuckles a few times, nervousness easily driving her actions.

Jakob looked to the side nervously for a few seconds and she took the short amount of time to admire his attire. Though it seemed to be the normal butler uniform, he seemed to wear it in a slightly different fashion; perhaps he changed the type of undershirt he wore. As usual the vest hugged his waist rather tightly and Selena quickly averted her eyes, fighting back another blush as she visualized his chest again, seeing his scar in detail. He arrived at her front and lightly dipped his head once before he crossed his arm over his chest. “I’m… glad you took the time out of your evening to see me…”

“Well, it would have been rude to refuse…” Selena muttered while averting her gaze, nervously brushing her hair behind her ear. Jakob shifted his stance in front of her before looking up as a few branches snapped in the distance. “So, what did you want to discuss with me that couldn’t… be done yesterday?”

He avoided her gaze for a few seconds before meeting her eyes again, more nervous than she had seen in a while. “I’m afraid I had to give my thoughts a night to fully form into a coherent sentence… I wish to be able to communicate myself efficiently and I’m afraid at that time my emotions were…” He bit his lip and looked to the side while his neck turned a marvelous shade of red, causing Selena to become embarrassed herself. “I believe, had I acted then, I may have done something regrettable…”

Her memories returned her to the night when Jakob had drunk too much, thinking words like that herself, and she flushed even more furiously, rubbing her fingers across her arms to stop the tingling in her skin as she barely uttered her next words. “You seem to be a fairly controlled person, but I know better…”

“It’s easier to keep those thoughts at bay when I’m not around you…” His whispered words caused more heat to flood to her cheeks and she continued looking away, feeling the first tinge of dread hit her heart. He raised his hand up to lightly brush his fingers against her cheek again, turning her head slightly to look toward him again, and despite everything she couldn’t pull away or tell him to stop and her breath caught in her lungs painfully as her heartbeat increased to a sort of tempo she had never before felt. Against her best interests she leaned into his touch, perhaps grimacing against it, and closed her eyes. _Perhaps I can allow myself… just these few seconds…_

The first few notes of a piano song rang through the air and Selena opened her eyes to find Jakob looking up toward the window, hand slowly falling from her face. “Ah, I suppose Lady Kamui has begun practicing…” He smiled at her, tilting his head slightly to the right as he slid his hand onto hers, placing his other hand on her waist in the same sort of way he had the night of her wedding. Selena froze for a second, confused and embarrassed about both her actions and the sudden turn in ‘conversation’, but accepted his gesture nonetheless and allowed herself to be lead through the simple steps of a simpler dance.

Akin to the last time, his hand rested light against her hip, slowly guiding her through the tone and rhythm of the song with gentle steps across the moonlit grass, other hand holding hers with a tender touch as he held her closely to his chest. Her arms tingled and she closed her eyes despite herself, resting her head lightly against his neck despite her thoughts telling her to do otherwise, to pull away, to refuse any advances, to do _something_ other than let her heart lead her limbs. The conflict tore at her lungs and she wondered if she would be able to do anything other than numbly follow, Jakob’s touch almost like a drug to her skin.

 _Oh gods… I’m in love with him… I really am in love with him…_ The thought brought tears to the edges of her eyes and Selena shuddered almost involuntarily as the sheer reality of her feelings finally shone at the forefront of her thoughts, tempered by months of suppression. She could barely hold herself back as Jakob continued leading her through the steps, pacing the rhythm of the dance, before he stopped, music still flowing and muttered something she couldn’t catch. She released his hands and took a step back, eyes fluttering painfully with the numbness of her mind, before she looked up again, watching as Jakob swiftly pulled a red rose out of his breast pocket; she hadn’t really noticed it before, but it was also dark and she had no reason to suspect he had been holding anything. He smiled at her, an action almost too quick for her to properly detect, before he stepped closer to her and shifted his grip on the rose, slowly sliding it behind her left ear, brushing aside her bangs with an equally soft action, eyes shining with his absolute emotions, and he let his hand run down the length of her face before he bravely held her jaw, tilting her head upwards just slightly as he angled his slightly closer to her level, eyes fluttering almost closed. She would have almost teased him for the rampant blush across his face if she hadn’t been equally red and in the same situation.

He was close enough for her to feel his light breath dance across her lips and, despite her best efforts otherwise, her eyes slowly slid shut as she ever so slightly leaned closer, the anticipation of the moment completely running her actions. She felt her heart pounding like a river inside her chest and even her back felt hot, the flush completely covering her face with its red sheen. His hand slid around her waist, holding her closer to his body, and she inhaled slightly, sharply, as her arms involuntarily made their way slightly around his sides.

She _wanted_ to kiss him. Gods, she wanted to kiss him so badly, so hard, that her arms _burned_ and her heart hurt with the force of her feelings. She wanted to embrace him, kiss him deeply, run her hands through his hair, hold him close so that he would never leave her side again, and the strength of her emotions surprised even her. She even felt some heat pool into her stomach as he held her tighter.

Despite even that and the pain that she knew would follow, she tore herself away, the faint brush of Jakob’s mouth against her own hardly satisfaction, and the reality of her situation burned at her lungs again. She turned enough to where she didn’t have to face him full on, slowly curbing her racing heart and unsteady breath, before she laughed nervously, raising her fist to her chest and holding her wrist steady against her heart as tears of misery pricked at her eyes as her vision blurred. “S-sorry, I… I didn’t mean to lead you on there,” she stuttered, nervousness etching itself into every solitary action she could even perform, turning further away, and laughed again a few times. Surely Jakob was confused, but it would be better than breaking his heart further on. She brushed her bangs behind her ear, slowly rehearsing what she could say. “Wow, I guess I must have been leading you on pretty heavily if you’ve come to a conclusion like that… But I guess I _am_ pretty desirable haha… Desirable and unattainable. Most of all for… for someone like you.”

“Wh… What…?” The incredulousness contained in Jakob’s light and shocked response caused Selena’s heart to skip another beat and she bit her tongue before she could cry aloud.

“I mean… I mean all of this,” she waved her hand casually to the side since she wasn’t currently facing him. “I mean… haha,” she laughed nervously again, wincing as she bit back a sob and a grimace as further tears pooled in her eyes, and her heart squeezed with the force of her words, “we’re in a war after all, there’s no time for anything more…” She steadied her voice to the best of her ability, trying her hardest to keep the tremors away. “I’m going home in four months anyway, that’s hardly time for anything to really develop haha.” She bit back a cry and a few tears as she held her hands close to her chest again. “Like I said, I never… and will never get close to others. _I_ never thought something romantic could happen between us,” she argued casually, biting back a tingle. “ _I_ never thought there was anything really substantial between us… I mean, there _couldn’t_ be anything between us, hahah, I never thought… anything more could exist between us.”

“ _I did_ , damnit!”

She jolted at the force of his words, his voice thin and high pitched, more in pain than she had ever heard him before, as if he had concealed the very tears within his heart to push forth with his tone, and a few tears snaked down her cheeks as her mouth fell open slightly and her shoulders stiffened. A jolt of energy raced through her arms and she held back a cry of pain.

“I _did_ … I thought we could be something more…” She heard him take a few confused steps in an undetermined direction and surely he was running a hand through his bangs, an equally pained expression on his face. “I thought… I thought… that you…” He choked back a pained noise and Selena winced again, feeling even more tears fall down her face, leaving well-worn tracks on her skin, as she slowly raised her hands to loosely cup over her ears, not wanting, not willing to hear what he dearly wanted to say. She heard him choke back a few sobs as he surely grimaced, hands gripping his wrists. “I… Selena… _Gods,_ I want to hold you tight… I want to breathe in your scent as I rest my face against your neck… I want you to run your hands through my hair, to hold my back tightly as you embrace me, never to let go, I want to kiss you and embrace you, I want… I want to be with you… I want to hold your hand against mine and never let go…” Selena exhaled slowly, letting the soft breath escape from her lips as she stared ahead, feeling her heart _hurt_ in a way she never even imagined was possible for anyone, and she choked back a few sobs, trying _desperately_ to avoid letting Jakob know that she was in such a pain from his words, his actions, his presence, his existence, and her eyes widened, knowing exactly what was coming next. _No… no… no…_

“Gods, Selena,” Jakob sobbed out, voice tearing at his throat and ripping away at her ears and resolve, and she pressed her hands against her ears in vain, “I love you. I _love_ you.”

As if the dam holding back her tears had been broken the liquid spilled across her cheeks, boring new ravines and bridging further paths as her face became wet with her emotions, her eyes shining brightly against the light of the moon, and her ears burning with the force behind her refusal. She heard Jakob give a weakened cry behind her and she wondered just how much she had hurt him, knocked him down. Her lips trembled as she tried _oh so hard_ to keep from having a complete meltdown. She wanted to be with him, the strength of that want almost forced her to run into his arms at that second, but she held her resolve, feet keeping her firmly in place, and she allowed her arms to sink limply to her sides as she forced her expression to remain blank despite everything. “I… I’m sorry Jakob,” Selena muttered, quietly as possible to avoid letting him become aware that she was in tears. “I never wished to lead you on like this… I…” She bit her lip and gulped, swallowing her wishes and wails, closing her eyes against the pain. “I never loved you… and I never will. I’m only sad that this has continued on for so long. It’s best that…” She grimaced further, loosing more tears. “It’s best that you bury your feelings. They will only bring you further pain and that’s the last thing I want to see happen to you.”

“Selena…” She shook her head at Jakob’s final cry, surely reaching out toward her with a shaking hand, and began to step away, blindly heading in a direction away from him, away from that yearning feeling, and she felt her heart break and crack with each thump of her foot. Eventually she made it a distance to where she could finally let out a strained cry and she grasped her face as she curled inward on herself, continuing onwards to try and find peace and quiet in her room.

“Selena…? Selena, what in gods’ names is wrong?” Selena stiffened as she heard a voice and opened her puffy eyes to see Charlotte standing near the entrance to the barracks, hands on her hips accompanied by a shocked and slightly worried expression. “Jeez, I haven’t seen you look this terrible since-“

“It’s nothing,” Selena muttered, voice wet and nasally from her tears, and she waved her hand as she wiped some off, laughing again, though it probably came off as a cry of pain, judging by Charlotte’s morphing expression. “Nothing, I’m j-just going t-to bed, nothing wrong…”

“Selena, it looks like someone you love just died,” Charlotte rationalized as Selena brushed past her, opening the door to the shared barracks with a light, loose grip.

“Nothing happened, nothing happened!” Selena let out another sob as she used the wall to balance herself as she slowly made her way to her room, Charlotte easily following her down the hallway, unable to block her fully. “Don’t ask, I’m f-fine, nothing h-happened!”

“Selena, even you must know such a lie is easy to see past,” Charlotte deadpanned as Selena slowly unlocked her door with shaking hands.

Selena grimaced and closed her eyes again, leaning her head against the door as she finished unlocking it, letting it swing open against her weight. “Please, I’m f-fine… I’m fine…” She ignored Charlotte’s worried expression and starting sentence as she let the door close behind her, leaning against the door for a few seconds before she headed over to her bed, throwing herself onto her covers with a barely concealed sob, hands at her head. She felt the dainty petals of the rose beneath her fingers as she moved her hair back and she bit back another sob, holding it daintily to her chest as she cried again, curling inwards as if to protect it. She sunk her face into her pillow, finally allowing herself to wail loudly, voice and pain concealed by a thin wall and air as she cursed her existence and situation. She couldn’t even imagine how Jakob had taken it, but she doubted it was any better. She eventually fell into a fitful sleep, completely tired out, eyes stinging with the pain of her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)))))) did you like that chapter.  
> I spent a lot of time getting this just write, re-doing and rewriting scenes, things like that, making the words just right.  
> So close and yet so far~  
> As far as updates go, I will have the next chapter done by next week, but after that I have no clue. I'm going to assume yes.  
> Happy reading~


	21. Loosening the Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've started doing that docs thing I proposed last chapter. I'll release it once the fic is over of course, but you can look forward to that~  
> This chapter... I didn't like it too much when I finished it, but now that I've revised it I don't dislike it anymore, but it's not one of my favorites. Selena is whiny;;;  
> The next chapter may not come on time as it seems to be a bit longer than normal, but I have started it...... kinda. I did a few paragraphs.

Selena woke up with sticky eyes, heavy limbs, and a broken heart as she peeled herself from her sheets and slowly rolled off of her bed. The red rose sat as prim and proper as it had been yesterday and she tore herself from its image as she slowly dressed herself, opting for more casual and comfortable wear. They wouldn’t be heading to Hoshido until the week after so she had some time to do more menial chores.

She wanted to work those thoughts out of her mind anyway and mindless chores would do just that.

Camilla easily noticed that Selena’s mood rested near the pits of despair so she took her aside while the retainer sorted through the princess’s clothes. “Selena darling, I heard from Charlotte last night that you were incredibly upset. What happened? Are you ok?” Camilla ran her hand across Selena’s shoulder, trying in vain to comfort her friend, while Selena merely shrugged off her words with a muttered acknowledgement. As she moved on to hang more dresses Camilla crossed her arms and Selena stiffened, sensing that Camilla’s mood had shifted to an angrier one. “Ok Selena, I’m putting my foot down here.”

“Am I not allowed to suffer with my feelings to myself?” Selena snapped back, voice still thick with lingering tears. “I needn’t burden you with my problems, especially when they are unsolvable.”

“I’d hardly call them unsolvable,” Camilla retorted strongly and Selena finally met her gaze. “I spoke with Kamui last night. She said something between you two had happened and she’d never seen Jakob so crushed in her life.”

“I’m _sorry,_ but I can’t focus on that right now,” Selena snapped again, closing her eyes against further forming tears like the night before. “I had to…” Her voice broke as she clenched the fabric of a shirt with a tight grip. “I had to reject him and it’s as simple as that.”

“I’d hardly call anything about you ‘simple’, Selena.” She paused and narrowed her eyes at Camilla in a confused way. Camilla shrugged and looked to the side, arms still crossed. “You analyze things too deeply, take too many steps to get to a solution, don’t think of other possibilities. Perhaps that helped you in the past, but that line of thinking certainly can’t help you now.” She looked back at her retainer and Selena flinched back. “I know you’re upset about this situation, but think about other perspectives. What can you do differently?”

“I can do things differently of course, but this way I can avoid pain,” Selena sighed and turned back to her work. “Please don’t discuss this further with me. I don’t think I can handle it.”

Despite her best interests, Camilla let the discussion die and Selena turned back to her work.

Selena didn’t know if she was purposefully avoiding Jakob or perhaps vice versa, but she didn’t see him the entire morning and into the middle of the day. Perhaps Kamui had let him sleep in if what Camilla mentioned was true and Selena’s heart broke again thinking on the pain she put him through, but if this small bit of suffering could save them both from heartbreak in the end she would take this path.

It almost reminded her of how she, Odin, and Laslow used Hoshido without their permission.

Lunch came without much delay, though once again Selena didn’t feel much up to it. _Man, I thought I would feel better after making sure that I could avoid whatever would happen in the end, but I feel like complete garbage,_ she mused to herself as she took a bite out of her sandwich, eyes dull. Charlotte slid into the seat in front of her and Selena immediately regretted life. Charlotte clasped her hands together and Selena uncomfortably tried to ignore her. “So. About last night.”

“Why is everyone so interested in my private life? It’s private for a reason!” Selena snapped, usual venom hampered by her sinking heart, before making a move to stand up, grabbing her food, and Charlotte quickly gripped her hand, stopping the retainer from moving any further, and Selena snapped her gaze toward the berserker who currently wore a dull expression, eyes dark.

“It’s no longer private when you start being rude to others about it and cause grief in others,” Charlotte answered quick-fire and Selena huffed before sitting back down angrily, letting her food slip to the table carelessly. “I’m worried about you, ok?” Charlotte sighed before she clasped her hands together. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, yet you broke down like crumpled paper yesterday. I’m worried that this path you’re taking isn’t going to lead you to the sort of future you want.”

“I don’t _want_ any of this sort of future, ok?” Selena huffed, feeling tears at her eyes again, and she took a quick bite of her food as her throat closed shut uncomfortably. “I don’t… I don’t want to leave, but I have to anyway and that _hurts._ Just knowing… just knowing I’ll never see any of you again…”

“So why are you spending time away from us instead of spending more time with us?” Charlotte’s blunt words surprised Selena and she finally took the time to look up at the berserker, eyes wide. Charlotte shrugged at that. “If you really want to be happier and have your time here truly mean something, spend more of it with the people you love. Being away from them is only going to cause you regret in the long run.” She huffed and crossed her arms, eyes becoming downcast. “Gods know… that’s the case…”

“I can’t…” Selena paused to try and form her words. “I can’t just do that… Knowing that he’s going to just… collapse once I disappear…” She shook her head and looked down, hiding her pained expression as tears formed in her eyes. “If maybe time heals wounds, if even my feelings can fade, then if I stay away…”

“It’s not going to help. That much I know.”

Selena jerked upwards and narrowed her eyes at Charlotte in confusion while the berserker merely shrugged again. “If the feelings between you two weren’t love then I’d be inclined to agree with you. Those weak feelings would fade quickly. But there isn’t just something like that between you. You two are friends aren’t you?” She sighed loudly and closed her eyes. “Even though Xander and I aren’t particularly close, if he were to die now, I would be hurt. Even though the distance between us is certainly there, the distance doesn’t make anything feel better. If anything, distance between you two now would just make everything hurt more.” She looked at Selena again, eyes narrowed with a frown on her lips. “Don’t you feel bad after what’s happened? You don’t feel liberated, do you?”

Selena grimaced and looked to the side again, biting her lip. “I didn’t expect to feel liberated…”

“But you didn’t expect to feel this bad?” Selena nodded after a few moments of hesitation and Charlotte closed her eyes and sighed. “Well, then I’d say there’s definitely something between the two of you.”

“I just can’t…” Selena shook her head, cutting off her sentence before she could form it. “It could never happen…”

“Why not? Is there any logic to that sentiment of yours? Does rejecting him really help your situation?”

Selena gulped loudly as she nodded adamantly. “Of course it could never happen!” She shifted her hands on the table, looking down with mourning. “In four months I’m going to disappear forever! That means we can never… we can never be something more…”

“Do you want to?” Selena froze, faint thoughts of a brighter future flitting through her mind as she slowly looked up at the berserker. “Do you…” Charlotte paused and bit her lip, eyes narrowing. “Do you love him in return?”

Selena slowly closed her eyes, grimacing further as she leaned down over the table, curling in on herself again, an action she seemed to perform quite often as of late, and she choked back a whimper. “I… I…” She bit her tongue as she let out a quiet sob. “Yes…… I love him…”

“Does it hurt to say that?”

“Yes… it hurts so much…”

“Does it hurt to be away from him?”

“…Yes…”

“Then why would you lie to him?”

Selena froze again and shook her head, muttering incomprehensible words. “I know what it’s like to lose something dear to yourself… It hurts like you’ve died… I don’t… I don’t want him going through that. How could I allow that…? My fault…”

“I think he’s going to go through more pain without you than he could ever if you were helping him through it,” Charlotte figured before she stood up, effectively ending the conversation. “I’m not about to tell you to do anything, that’s not my place. But I don’t want to see you moping about something that can be easily fixed. Just because your line of thought is rigid doesn’t mean the solutions don’t exist.” She paused and turned. “Think on that.”

Selena exhaled slowly and wiped away the few tears that had appeared on her face. _What if…_ I’m _just the scared one…? What if I’m the one who doesn’t want to live without the other…?_ She stopped those thoughts, quickly rationalizing that clearly she wasn’t alone with those feelings, but it didn’t ease her pain any.

She continued through the day like normal, noticing a few times that Jakob was clearly avoiding her if he was anywhere in the area. It hurt to see him acting like that, but it was of her own doing, her own fault, so she couldn’t blame him or hate him for it. Even then, it still stung, and she wondered if those harsh words really had been worth it.

Charlotte’s words still rang in her mind and she slept fitfully again, reaching for an absent object as she woke up.

She noticed Kamui still shooting her some angry glares, despite everything, and she tried her best to ignore the princess. Certainly, Kamui would probably be annoyed that her friend was in pain, but it wasn’t like Selena really aimed for that sort of conclusion.

…Or rather she did. It hurt to admit, but without making Jakob suffer through some sort of painful emotion he would continue being with her and as a result further hurt himself in the end.

Beruka called her ‘stupidly adamant’ after she heard that explanation, but Selena let it slide.

The morning once again passed quickly without much happening; Selena’s heart still hurt throughout the day again, but she shoved those feelings down again, slowly avoiding crossing Jakob’s path yet again even though she found herself drawn to his general locations. How she even knew where he was she didn’t know, but it was inconvenient at best.

She eventually found herself sharpening swords again to prepare properly for the siege of Hoshido, using the monotonous motion to try and wrest her thoughts away from her current situation.

She _did_ love him; she couldn’t hide those feelings from herself anymore without doing some sort of permanent damage. She couldn’t shove them away for any longer, she had already done so for months to no avail. At least now she knew and accepted those feelings, but she was still stuck in a rut. She couldn’t _do_ anything about them and perhaps he knew of that.

“Selena. I’d like to have a serious talk with you.” The bow knight looked up to see Kamui, hands resting on her hips with a somewhat commanding fashion, and she slowed her movement and let the whetting stone drop out of her hand onto the ground. She slowly leaned up to look the princess equally in the eyes, noting her infuriated expression. The princess let out a huff and crossed her arms, taking up a more dominating stance. “I’m sick and tired of your actions and I want you to actually look at multiple sides of the situation.”

“Lady Kamui…”

“For _months_ now, literal months, I have watched you two ignore, reject, and dance around every possible subject dealing with your feelings and I’ve grown sick of it. Multiple people have grown sick of it.” Kamui exhaled sharply, closing her eyes into a frown. “Not only have you hurt yourself, you’ve dearly hurt Jakob, Camilla, Beruka, even your friends through your stubborn actions. They have had to work with you, shoulder your problems, and hold their own pain throughout this. Think of other people for once instead of yourself.”

Selena scoffed, letting out a quiet laugh of indignation, as she slowly stood up to her full height, letting the sword fall from her hands. “Lady Kamui, excuse my language, but I have thought of everyone but myself with this!” She let out a light laugh again, looking to the side with surprise. “I have held my feelings, focused on the wellbeing of others before myself, helped people with their own issues, and what do I get? Nothing. Nothing of what I do will ever impact me.” She frowned at the princess, trying her hardest to curb her anger. “Maybe I hid my feelings… Maybe that hasn’t helped us much… But getting together…” She choked on her words, feeling her heart cry out in pain again. “It would never… never happen… So I had to make sure he gave up…”

“By ripping his heart out, huh? Is that how it is?” Kamui glared at the retainer and Selena winced, feeling herself fall back to the defensive. Kamui scoffed for a few seconds, looking to the sides incredulously, before she shook her head at Selena again. “You need to get your act together.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead, anger ebbing away slightly. “If I…” She inhaled slowly before looking at Selena straight in the eyes. “If I knew you didn’t have feelings for him, I would let it go. Maybe I would tell him to try and win you over for a few tries, but ultimately I would let it be. You don’t _owe_ him anything in that respect.” She paused and rubbed her wrist, still staring intently at the retainer. “But I know for a solid, undisputable fact that you two are… deeply in love.” Selena winced at the words and Kamui quickly continued. “I would know; I have my own experience in that realm. What you two have is irreplaceable and seeing you just… _throw it away_ astounds me.” She shook her head again and exhaled slowly. “I know you lied to him while rejecting him. I know you truly love him. So I’ll defend him with whatever it takes to make him feel better again. My friend doesn’t deserve to be knocked down like this. My confidant, my retainer, my _family_ will not get hurt for stupid reasons on my watch,” Kamui hissed, arms crossed again. “I will make you admit the truth one way or another. I don’t care if it hurts you, tears you apart, brings you down to the lowest level, I will have Jakob know the truth.” She shook her head and turned away, anger fading again. “He doesn’t deserve this… Not after everything…” She closed her eyes. “You don’t deserve this either.”

“Lady Kamui…” Selena reached her hand out only slightly as if to grasp at the princess, but Kamui shook her head and quickly looked away and Selena noticed out of the corner of her eye that Jakob had been watching the encounter, too distant to listen in on, and she quickly turned away, brushing her hair behind her ear again (she had been wearing it down a lot lately, she realized suddenly) and picked up her unfinished work, no longer in the mood.

. . .

Laslow and Odin left her mostly to herself when she saw them a few times the next morning, though Odin questioned how she was doing a few times, usual flourish absent, and she waved him off casually, stating that she was fine, just a little numb.

Clearly everyone who was anyone knew what had happened between the two of them and it made Selena wonder just how many people she had impacted through all of… this. Nyx came to the forefront of her mind, along with Camilla, Beruka, Charlotte, Flora, maybe even Kaze, Niles… Many others. The thought of it worked away at her again and she began to really wonder if all of this was worth it.

But thinking about how she would have to leave him again came to her mind again and she shuddered, pushing the thought away. She was in a war; Jakob had already almost died, she had almost died twice, though not as gruesomely. Anything could happen…

Even then she still yearned to be with him with a burning passion.

“Selena…? Do you want to talk about it…?” Selena sighed at Laslow’s words, but shook her head regardless.

“Talking won’t do anything, so I’ll spare you the effort.” She stood up after quickly finishing her lunch, leaving both of her friends snuffed, and she deftly avoided Jakob, who was currently on cooking duty, though as usual he seemed to be trying to avoid her too.

She barely caught an expression on his face, but he seemed to still be upset about the situation and she felt slightly guilty. She had to wonder what Kamui had told him, but she must have been supportive at the very least.

Later on, Odin and Laslow finally caught Selena in their own sort of conversation, though the tenseness present in Selena’s previous two encounters was absent, save for the special sort of worry only close friends could harbor, and Laslow tensed up as Selena looked to the side absently. “I suppose we don’t have to perform a preface…”

“No, Lady Kamui already made that clear.”

“She only wants what’s best for you and Jakob, Severa…” Odin muttered, rubbing his shoulder with a casual hand. “I don’t need to tell you why she’s upset…”

“I’ve had a few words with Jakob besides,” Laslow continued as he looked at Selena with a cautious gaze, “and he’s… well, you can guess.”

Selena sighed before waving her hand rather rudely. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need it. I can deal with my problems like a proper person without having everyone buzz around me like bored flies. I understand… this is a unique situation-“

“Selena, you’re obstinate…” Odin sighed before shaking his head and walking off, knowing that she wouldn’t humor more of a conversation. Laslow seemed more stubborn at least, but with a kinder air.

“I don’t need to hear anything further…”

“Maybe not, but you at least need to consider the circumstances,” Laslow muttered, voice light as air, and Selena sighed sadly. “Please think about yourself now a little more… I know it’s hard for you to live in the present because of everything… How we’re living on borrowed time, but… Please… Just… think of more than just pain… Think of joy… life… Everything else.”

He walked away shortly after, leaving Selena to debate the meaning of his more covert words and sighed before rubbing her arm again, heart sinking further to the depths of her chest.

The next three days passed without further events and the camp seemed to be more focused on the war effort and what King Garon wished to do rather than the current drama occurring between two rather inconsequential members of the army.

Even now, after nearly a week of doing nothing and of trying to let her thoughts simply die away, they continued to strongly persist, almost increasing the amount of pain she went through as more time passed and she spent more time away from Jakob, the complete opposite of what she wished and hoped would happen. She thought the saying was ‘time heals all wounds’ not ‘time increases the pain of being without someone’.

It almost made her lose her composure again.

Though of course she knew of her current feelings, perhaps not dealing with them, but acknowledging them all the same, the yearning she experienced each day, or rather each hour, confused her and left her touch-starved. She blushed at the thought, but it arrived with an equal amount of pain, so she tried her best to erase it.

She retired early to mope around, as Camilla had given her time off for being ‘emotionally unstable’ and had restricted her to the astral realm while other teams did raids on the surface to buy time until Garon’s army arrived. She leaned casually on her bed, leg up to hold her arm, and she twisted the stem of the red rose between her fingers, watching the light dance off of the delicate petals, before she brought it up to her lips, feeling the tender touch of the wilted flower on her skin as she lightly imagined Jakob in its place. It left another empty feeling in her heart and she stiffened.

Sure, perhaps she was forcing herself to go through this, maybe she could easily have accepted, but she knew how it felt to abandon something forever. She never would have left her world had she had a choice and abandoning it ripped her heart out. She could never think of willingly putting herself through that pain with a person, a living, breathing thing. Her arm tingled at the thought of parting.

She closed her eyes and wiped them before she heard her door slowly click open and she looked up as Beruka quietly shut it behind her, standing at the wall awkwardly for a few seconds before she sauntered over to the desk and picked up the dried pink rose. The yellow-red rose tipped over at the motion, wilting petals slumping onto the wood, and Beruka eyed the plant curiously for a few seconds. “These flowers are rather pretty, even after a while of wilting.” She set the rose back down after sniffing it before she leaned up against Selena’s wardrobe, arms crossed. “A precious gift, I assume. You’ve kept them for this long, so I assume you have sentimental feelings for them.”

Selena flushed, ears burning red, as she shook her head. “N-no, I don’t have feelings for Jakob, you’ve heard as much…” She jerked as Beruka stared at her and she tossed the red rose to the side, looking away conspicuously as Beruka clearly made a connection through Selena’s word-substitution.

Beruka tenderly walked over, picking up the rose with deft fingers, and gazed at it with a slightly malicious look before she moved her fingers up the stem. “No? Then you wouldn’t care if I crushed it, right?” She cupped her hand around the rose, glaring at Selena as she made to destroy the flower, and Selena tensed, leaning forward instinctively with an outreached hand.

She winced before leaning back again. “F-fine… I don’t… I don’t feel anything… no attachment or anything, haha…” She leaned forward quickly before Beruka could destroy the flower and ripped it out of her fellow retainer’s hands.

“Why are you lying to yourself and others, Selena?” Beruka sighed, letting her shoulders loosen only slightly as she looked to the window. “How does that benefit anyone in any way, temporary or no?” Beruka narrowed her eyes before she sat next to Selena on her bed as she cupped the rose tenderly in her hands, leaning forward to take another sniff.

“I’m not… I’m not lying…” Selena’s murmured words were hardly confident and Beruka easily picked that up.

“Selena, stop.” She flinched as Beruka voiced her harsh words, eyes narrowing even further into an uncharacteristic frown. “I know. I know now that emotional stunting is hardly effective for overall growth. There are benefits to personal relationships with others that may extend further than just systematic operations.” She exhaled slowly, looking forward as Selena continued holding the rose tenderly. “You showed that to me when Lady Camilla was unable. I… I was able to make friends, interact with others, prove myself more to Lady Camilla… With your help I’m able to make myself a… more proper life. Certainly, Lady Camilla helped me cast away my assassination past, but without your assistance I never would have seen the value of emotional connections… So why do you shove your own away with nary a refrain?”

Selena bit her lip and let the question hang in the air for a few seconds, time having finally allowed her to consider the words with a more objective light as she set the rose on her lap. “I… You know I have to leave after three months right…? I’ll leave forever… Why else do you think I would have gone jewelry shopping with you those months ago?” She winced, rubbing her wrist. “I wanted to leave a part of myself behind so that you and Lady Camilla could remember me, but…” She held back a whimper. “I can’t… I can’t do that with Jakob… It…” She wiped her eyes, feeling tears come forth again as she let that sentence die. “I can never be happy like this, Beruka… Not here while I have limited time… No matter what I do I’ll end up at the same conclusion: leaving him forever… What else can I do but prepare myself for the inevitable and avoid more pain…?”

“You’re not thinking clearly.” Beruka sighed and shook her head as Selena looked up incredulously. “I’m… I’m going to be hurt when you leave. Even if you stayed away from me for that time, it would hurt the same. Yet here you are talking with me as an equal, considering me a friend.” She shifted herself, turning to face Selena fully, leaning on her arm. “So why do you not spend this time you have now with Jakob? Why are you not enjoying what you have now? It makes no sense.”

“It will hurt less if I stay away from him now… right…?”

“I think you know the answer to that question. And it isn’t what you want it to be.” Beruka sighed before she stood up again, moving to the flowers. “It is ironic that I am the one having this discussion with you, but everyone else had fears of broaching the topic with you. Perhaps this is for the best.”

“If I… accepted his advances,” Selena continued, blushing at her words, “how would this even help me…?”

“You’d be more focused for one, less pained, your heart would no longer hurt, there are apparently physical and emotional benefits to having a significant other, and your mood will rise exponentially.” Beruka exhaled slowly, picking up the red-yellow rose. “Benny has informed me as much. Apparently he thinks of me in the same way that Jakob does to you. Though we are both adult enough to deal with the subject confidently.”

“You won’t have to leave him forever…”

“I haven’t accepted yet. I must think about my own life and future as well, but I have not rejected him as a result.” She twirled the rose between her fingers, staring at the dust on the petals. “This means ‘falling in love’.”

“Wh… what…?” Selena exhaled slowly, looking at the flower again in a clearer light as Beruka abruptly changed the subject.

She set it down before moving her fingers casually across the wood of the desk, picking up the pink rose. “This means admiration, sweetness… tender love.” She blinked before moving on to the orange rose, running her fingers across the wilted petals carefully. “This means desire, attraction, perhaps excitement.” She turned toward Selena, nodding toward the red rose. “And that means passion, romance… Love.” Selena wilted at her words, curling inward slightly as her expression fell once again, letting a tear fall from her eye. “You’ve had plenty of time to consider his words. Months worth. This is nothing new. But you must make a decision soon or else both of you will be hurt irreparably.” She shook her head before heading toward the door, grasping the handle. “Talk to him again. Bring yourselves on the same page. Do that at least.” She sent one last look toward Selena before she slowly opened the door and closed it behind her with a soft click.

Selena sighed slowly, rolling the rose in her hand again as she gazed at the strong color, resigning herself to her fate with sagging shoulders and a grimace.

 _Certainly, it would be better if I was with him… I_ do _have this time now… But can I truly cast away my insecurities…? Is it really better for me if I devote myself to another person…?_

. . .

Selena woke up determined. She had to speak with him, she knew that much, but they both had easily been avoiding each other for seven days. She couldn’t just seek out an audience with him now, and she felt too timid to try and actually reach out to him again.

She wondered if he felt the same.

Evening arrived and with it storm clouds littered the sky. Selena looked up as some passed by, wondering if they would erupt into a downpour before night came. She ran her hand through her hair, down again, as she hadn’t bothered to put it up properly throughout the day. She could almost imagine him placing the rose in her hair again and this time she didn’t push away the thought. She had done that too much already. She may as well accept her feelings and her thoughts. She exhaled slowly as she looked around the camp casually, though her real goal was to determine Jakob’s location. Kamui hadn’t mentioned anything, though she hadn’t spoken to the princess outright considering their argument earlier in the week.

“Maybe I’ve waited too long…” She hurt Jakob near irreversibly, she figured. It wouldn’t surprise her if he gave up on waiting and… even went as far as to stop being friends with her. The thought of it hurt her; had she really screwed up that badly to erase even a friendship between the two? She bit back a grimace as she leaned against the frame of a building, rubbing her arm absentmindedly as more tears pricked at her eyes. Gods, she missed him again, the pain of the week still building up in her heart. She rubbed her cheeks, trying to work some warmth into them, and she felt herself giving up again for the night. Like earlier, Jakob seemed to not be around and she wouldn’t wait around for very long to not inconvenience either of them. She sighed, but assured herself to her task.

As she leaned up off of the wood and turned, she noticed with a jolt that Jakob stood near the records hall, looking left and right as if he was searching for something, though his posture slacked and he seemed to be more resigned than normal. She easily recognized the feeling of misery within his stance and felt more pricks of guilt eat at hear heart, but he was here now and she needed to talk with him, so she stiffened her shoulders, gulped back her worries and tears, and slowly made her way over to him, feeling the humidity of the area spike and a raindrop fell onto her wrist, joined by none.

Though she hadn’t been moving forward loudly, the swish of her feet across the grass of the astral realm seemed to catch Jakob’s attention and he turned to face her. She paused awkwardly, still a distance from him, perhaps four or five meters, unwilling to venture further now that she had his attention. She looked to the side, nervousness etching itself in her system again, and Jakob cleared his throat, also looking to the side nervously.

“I… I am not completely sure how to start… I…” Jakob breathed in slowly. “I cannot lie… I have been avoiding you for… the past week in order to gather my thoughts into something comprehensible…” Selena gulped at his quiet words, feeling embarrassment and guilt again. “I… believe I should start with an apology.” He breathed out again and Selena finally looked up to see him again, wincing as she caught his pained expression. “I… Never should have put you up like that… What I did, without your permission, was unacceptable.”

“I… You didn’t-“

“You don’t need to create assumptions about the situation or what I’ve done,” Jakob continued, cutting her off in the middle of an unformed comment, looking to the side dismissively. “I… can’t blame you for anything…” He winced again and Selena saw the flicker of a foreign… no. This was the same expression she had seen on his face many times throughout the past two months, a feeling she couldn’t, didn’t want to describe: love. She bit her lip, eyes falling downcast again. She couldn’t lie to herself again. Not for this.

“I was in the wrong too… I should have been kinder…”

“No… I put you on the spot…” Jakob sighed again and ran a hand over his shirt sleeve, pulling on the material in a way Selena almost found attractive. “I… I’m fine if you’ve never… had feelings for me. I don’t… need fulfillment like that. I’m just… afraid that I’ve ruined our friendship… I never wanted it to end like this and I’m… terrified…” He laughed, a light sound that was altogether too rare and Selena stiffened at the fakeness of it, grimacing as she felt tears hit her eyes again and she held back a sniff. “I was… afraid to tell you those words that night… I knew you never wanted this and even now I hate the thought of breaking your heart… But I couldn’t hide my feelings anymore…” He looked down again accompanied with a sigh and she felt her heart clench as her arms hurt again. “If I’ve ruined the friendship between us… I apologize… I never… I never wanted…” He sighed again before wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand and Selena realized with a jolt that he was crying again and she felt a tear slip down her cheek and she held back a whimper.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be…” Jakob shook his head again and closed his eyes before turning slightly.

“No…” He looked up, stopping his motion as Selena muttered again, holding a hand to her chest. “No…” She choked back a sob before bringing up her other hand, grimacing again as she tried and failed to hold back her tears. “I… That day… I lied…”

“Huh…?”

“I lied…” She shook her head, tears falling from her eyes and hitting the grass beneath her like the few raindrops that began falling from the sky, dampening her skin and hair only slightly. “I… lied about everything…” She inhaled with a shaky gasp as her eyes fluttered open and closed and Jakob took a nervous step forward, clearly upset about her current situation, but unsure of how to continue. “I never…” She sobbed, a high pitched noise that she only remembered making rarely. “I was trying to protect you, to save you from pain… from suffering…“ She rubbed her wrist, leaning her head down to avoid looking at his pained expression. “I didn’t ask…!” She hiccupped, letting another sob forth, tears spilling fully from her eyes as she whimpered. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you!”

Jakob stiffened with a grimace of his own, confusion and wonder playing across his face, and Selena shook her head, hair falling around her face as the sky continued to rain, slowly pouring down harder. “It hurts… it hurts so much…” She leaned down, tears snaking down her cheeks again as her heart exploded with pain and she let out a sob, hardly able to conceal it as her bangs covered her eyes. “It hurts so much knowing that I’m going to have to leave you no matter what… I thought…” She inhaled shakily and she could have sworn Jakob took a few steps closer, grass soaking with water. “I thought it would help it hurt less for both of us… The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but even that I can’t avoid…” She wiped at her eyes, trying in vain to banish the tears from her cheeks as her arm ached from her emotional pain. “I don’t…” Her voice dropped to a whisper as her legs struggled to hold her weight. “I don’t want to leave you…” The rain soaked through her hair and she couldn’t wrest the sound of it from her ears. “I don’t want to leave you…” She choked back another sob, but was unable to completely hold the whimper from her voice. “I… I love you too…” She winced, closing her eyes against her tears, and clapped a hand over her mouth, muffling another cry of pain as she finally lost her strength to stand, finding not the cold moisture of the ground meeting her knees but the warmth and comfort of Jakob’s arms against her back, holding her steady as he too slumped against the ground, hugging her tightly to his chest as she let out a loud sob, holding her head steady with a careful hand. “I’m sorry! I never meant for any of this to happen… I never wanted to put you through this pain…!” She felt the touch of the rain mingle with her tears as Jakob embraced her tighter, holding her, never letting her go, and she felt both suffering and excitement mingle into one, the depth of her emotions hardly able to be classified into one category.

“I’m not in pain, Selena… It’s not sadness that I feel…” She heard the waver in his voice, realizing with a start that he too was struggling to hold composure in the face of their future, and he shifted his hold around her shoulders, sitting firmly onto the ground as he moved his face to her neck, leaning his head against hers. “It’s love… The emotion that contains the depth of despair… the height of elation… the complexity of everything…” Selena shuddered against his breath on her skin, her eyes fluttering shut as she slowly moved her hands up, defenses lowered, and slowly moved her arms around his waist, hugging him as close as he held her. He exhaled against her motion, moving his cheek against her skin. “I love you… I don’t care if in the future I’ll be parted from you… I just want to be with you now… while I have the chance… I…” He shuddered again and his voice broke with the emotions of his words and she felt the wetness of his tears against her skin, slowly mingling with the rainwater that poured ever the harsher against her body. “I won’t lie… thinking about the day when I have to leave you…” His voice faded away again, strangely thick and high pitched, and he swallowed against the effort.

“I don’t want to leave you… I don’t want to hurt you like that…” Selena sobbed as she held him tightly against her body, fingers grasping at his clothes like a lifeline as tears fell from her eyes, rainwater soaking her hair against her skin, clinging tightly to her arms and back. “I don’t want to be in a world where you are not!”

“Oh, Severa…” Jakob murmured against her skin, tear-filled and choked with emotion as he shifted his grip on her, holding her even tighter as he lifted his head up, holding back a sob himself. “I don’t either… I… Those words I told you that night… they hold true even now… I wish to be with you… for a long time…” He winced, letting out a loose whimper as he grimaced further, holding her even tighter, closer than she would have ever thought possible ordinarily. “It hurts thinking of the day when you will no longer be with us… No longer argue with your words of encouragement… no longer… remain close to me…” He choked back another sob as Selena exhaled sharply, her breath stuttering with her sadness, and the sky roared above them. “I don’t want that day to come… I never want to be part of a world where you no longer exist… I never want to see the time when you part from me… But… if I may have you now… This time that we share will be better than a lifetime of never knowing you…” He breathed out again, steadying his tears. “If I could choose between never knowing you… and parting with you after only a few short months… I would take those few months over anything in the world…” He exhaled, a shaky breath that reflected his calming attitude, the tears having cleansed his system, though Selena’s still raged on, and she saw a sort of yearning reflected in his eyes that seemed to not be present before with the distance. “Please… Please be with me now… for this short time we have together…”

Selena’s lips quivered and she closed her eyes against the mixture of pain and elation in her heart, _love,_ she repeated to herself, as she let more tears fall from her face with a soft cry as she buried her face into his neck, holding him tighter as the thunder boomed in the sky again, masking her loud sobs as she held him ever closer, and he moved his hand down her shoulders, swaying slightly with the motion. “Mm…!” She breathed in his scent, mingled with the sweet scent of the rain, as his skin continued to be soaked by the deluge pounding into the astral realm. “I want to be with you… I want to be with you, Jakob. I… I’ll be with you… For this short time… for any time that I have now…” She laughed, masked slightly by her shortening sobs, and she wiped her face, trying to hold back a grimace. “Even now, I’m living on borrowed time… so the least I can do is spend it with you…” She bit her tongue as she forced away another cry, instead feeling the fabric of Jakob’s shirt against her face, trying to calm herself down even slightly.

Jakob ran his hand down the side of her face before he shifted his position to sit more comfortably and she thought back to the time after he had been gravely injured. She had been in tears even then, though the relief then could hardly compare to now. “I’m glad.” The murmured words sent a tingle down her spine and she shuddered despite herself, stiffening against the feeling, and he let his hand slowly fall against the back of her neck, touching her spine. After a few more minutes of calming down with the cold of the rain (Selena finally felt the calmness associated with the passing of tears; Leo had explained it once relating to an imbalance of hormones or chemicals, and Laurent had said nearly the same once with more detail, it made sense), Jakob leaned back and held her cheeks within his hands again and she slowly opened her eyes against the stickiness of her tears, though they had not dried as the rain continued to fall heavily and she sniffed, finally able to breathe normally. His hair also stuck awkwardly around his face and it seemed as if it had fallen slightly out of his normal arrangement; she found it slightly funny and bit back the hints of a smile. He slowly rubbed the remnants of her tears away with his thumbs and she finally, unabashedly, allowed herself to fully lean into his touch, closing her eyes against the motion, and her arms tingled with the new freedom.

She startled, though only slightly, as Jakob moved his hands from her face to her shoulders and neck and after she opened her eyes halfway Jakob leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss against the side of her face, leaning into her skin, nudging her face slightly with his nose, a tender touch. She shivered as she felt his breath flit against her cheek and her eyes fluttered, unsure of whether to close or not as she gripped his shirt with shaky fingers.

Like the few other times she had allowed the truth of her thoughts to invade her mind, she yearned to kiss him, to feel his skin beneath her own, to embrace the warmth of his body against hers, to be closer than she ever had with any person, and she exhaled at the thought. She angled her head slightly as he placed another kiss to the corner of her mouth, light and tender, searching forward for permission to journey further. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck, embarrassed at the show of emotion, and her cheeks heated up with the action, though she couldn’t stop herself from yearning for more, and Jakob’s hand slipping from her shoulders to her back to her waist seemed to convey a similar emotion as he breathed in sharply with a soft gasp. She leaned back again, the wetness of the rain against their skin slightly uncomfortable.

Her heart stuttered and her body seemed strangely warm with a sense that surprised her as he ran his mouth against the vein in her neck and she inhaled shakily, her lungs unable to draw proper breath, and she closed her eyes, her muscles lacking the conviction to do anything more than subject themselves to his treatment.

“Is it… okay for me… to kiss you?” His words danced across her skin like a feather and she felt his breath tingle against her ear as he continued to rest his head near her shoulder, slowly leaning into her more and more, holding her closer and with a yearning that had only been present in a few, sparse situations. She exhaled shakily against the thought, but she leaned away all the same to stare into his eyes, trying to catch his emotions to store away in her memory. He eventually pulled back, hand light against her waist, and once again his eyes seemed to be cloudy like before, but with a sort of elation, a sort of _desire_ that she also hadn’t seen before.

She only became aware of tilting her jaw up against the rain, sliding her eyes shut, as Jakob pressed his mouth against hers, holding the back of her head with a firm hand as he gripped her waist, holding her body close to his, and the rhythm of their heartbeats echoed in her chest as she angled her head against his, pressing harder, further, as she slowly breathed out through her nose, stuttering, lungs barely able to function, as she moved her lips against his, gripping his back with a careless grasp, feeling the wetness of his shirt beneath her fingers, the water against his skin entering her mouth as the rain continued to fall upon the pair. He leaned in more as if fighting against her passion and ran his hand along her neck, opening his mouth slightly to hers as if he had _yearned_ for this to come, _ached,_ and Selena could hardly deny that she felt the same. Her veins thrummed with the motion and her stomach felt warm, her hips pounding with the force of her heartbeat, and she nudged him with her nose, pressing further, deepening the kiss with an action only she could perform. She could taste the rainwater mingling with Jakob’s skin, the sweetness of his body akin to a drug, and she could hardly move, hardly do anything except cling to his back further as he pushed on her again and she yielded, biting onto his bottom lip with longing. A moan escaped from his throat and Selena shivered as the tone reached her ears and her stomach burned with heat as she opened her mouth further, deepening the kiss, wresting control from her partner, her _lover,_ she realized with a start, and the epiphany of it elected a whimper from her own vocal cords.

Oh _gods_ how her body longed for his, how her heart tore with lack of contact, how her lungs burned at the prospect of shared air, and she finally, after such a long time, allowed the thoughts to flood into her head as she grasped at his shoulders as he ran his tongue across her lips, breath fluttering just like hers, and he exhaled sharply as she opened her mouth fully, allowing further contact. He gripped the back of her shirt, tugging the fabric as he journeyed further and she could feel the months of absent contact within both of their actions. She allowed him to take control again, content with simply letting herself exist in the moment, body hot and limbs lacking movement as Jakob gripped her wrist, running his fingers across her beating pulse.

After a few more moments he pulled away slightly and broke the contact, eyes closed as he fought to control the pacing of both his heart and lungs. Selena, however, ached for more after such a long period of withholding, and she leaned forward again, awkwardly meeting him again as he slowly tilted his head, finishing off with a calm, tender kiss, though hardly absent of any sort of passion.

After a few more long moments (seconds or minutes, Selena wasn’t completely sure) she finally leaned away and sat fully on the ground, struggling to pace her own heart and breath properly as she slowly opened her eyes to look at Jakob fully, wondering at his own reaction. He slowly opened his eyes as well and Selena gazed at the deep purple of them as he stared back at her, eyes foggy with the passion of their embrace. He laughed lightly again, a small smile joining the action as his eyes fluttered. “As I thought… you’re cute.”

“Hnn, I thought you would say more than that,” Selena pouted as she leaned forward again, wrapping her arms around Jakob’s shoulders as he laid his hands upon her waist, keeping her steady as she touched her forehead to his, and he closed his eyes.

“Haha, I needn’t say more, you can read me like a book.”

Selena let a smile escape once again and she let her head sink against his neck. “I… accept your advances, Jakob…”

“What, the kiss didn’t tell me enough?”

“Hmph, there’s nothing wrong with saying it aloud!”

“Of course, of course, I jest.”

Selena smiled against his neck, feeling her clothes finally start to dry off as the rain faded away, replaced with a dark grey as the sun finally finished setting behind the clouds.

She could finally cast away her own cloak and begin to interact properly. Even if she could only be with him for a short time, she would easily make the best of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do research on how to actually write a relationship i cant  
> also i finally hit everyone over the head with flower language because i actually put Effort into it.  
> So yea! They're together now! I won't pull that anime stuff and end the fic here now that they've confessed. We need some actual substance here! And the war is far from over, so Selena and Jakob still have many problems to get through.  
> Lately I've had an urge to start on my original stuff again and then I realized that the world for my first book is hilariously underdeveloped. I have so much planned out for the 'Earth's Future' world, but not for this one... the oldest world..... rip me  
> I don't know if anyone would actually be interested in reading original stuff of mine, but I've had a web novel thing planned out for 2 years..... That I haven't started on. Idk.  
> Here's another version of the poll: http://www.strawpoll.me/13540174 Effie and Peri are no longer choices. Hinoka and Charlotte were in a tie on the last one, so now I'm going to see if the tie can be broken. Personally I might be leaning toward Charlotte, but I have no clue who to put Hinoka with in that event. Likewise, if Hinoka was with Xander, I have an idea of what Charlotte would do, but who she would be with...? No clue. I also have no idea who to put Silas with. Nyx will remain single, so that leaves out those two. Who knows. I'm probably going to leave a lot of people without an SO because that's more simple for me. Hinata and Hinoka was a surprisingly good support though... hm  
> I hope you all loved this chapter! The research I had to do for kissing.... jeez. I have no experience with relationships/love/anything, so I'm writing off of sheer force of will and google.  
> Happy reading~


	22. Eye of the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Some words were misspelled and I added a paragraph or so to the second fight. Not much, but it expanded on a few things. Hopefully this gets seen, but oh well... 
> 
> anyway this took way too long and I struggled so much with it and due to this chapter (mostly) you will not be seeing the hinoka fight  
> I'm literally so busy but i was like 'im going to finish this tonight, no more procrastinating'  
> I've edited this a lot so it's probably choppy and I'm overall unhappy with it, so it will definitely be edited in the future  
> Stay tuned for more exciting announcements.  
> Also I'm sure the second to last chapter will be much better because I've actually put thought into it.  
> protip: once a story gets past about 200 words, just make a new word document. 300+ pages is pain

They didn’t quite know how to break the news to everyone else and Selena wondered if it was even necessary. She didn’t need to distract anyone further, especially since the raids were still a daily thing, though she should probably inform Kamui that she was finally ‘mentally ready’ for the surface herself.

“I’m sure someone already knows, so perhaps that cuts us a step,” Jakob muttered as he dusted off the furniture in Kamui’s sitting room while Selena thumbed through a few books absentmindedly. “If I were to put a name, it would be Nyx’s.”

“Yea, I guess we weren’t exactly inconspicuous… but it was late so I guess maybe it doesn’t matter?” She flushed at the thought; usually she had more tact with more personal things, though she hadn’t kissed anyone before, even Lucina. “Besides, it’s not like this will mean much to anyone, so I guess we can just tell Ladies Kamui and Camilla and be done with it…?”

“I suppose that would be the best course of action,” Jakob muttered absentmindedly as he moved over a few pictures that Kamui had set up. “Though she’ll be busy today with Princes Xander and Leo as they work out the next course of action. Iago’s been keeping a tight link with the younger prince, so no doubt things will get serious…”

“Freaking Iago…” Selena clicked her tongue as her mood soured. “I hate that guy.”

“You and me both,” Jakob sighed out as he straightened up again and sent a nervous look her way. Though she had learned to read his small motions over the course of five or so months (she hadn’t cared as much when she first met him, though she couldn’t really blame herself), she couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking now and it put her slightly on edge. “I still have quite a while before I’m done tidying up; Felicia is on the surface…”

“W-well,” Selena stuttered, biting her tongue, “I should probably do something for Lady Camilla then… Y’know, before anything else…” Jakob awkwardly muttered his agreement before Selena shoved down her embarrassment and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a quick hug, before she headed off to do her own chores.

She wasn’t completely ready to do anything more than that, not right now while her heart continued to mend itself, though the prospect of doing things together (save perhaps arguing) excited her. Even if they only did another small cooking competition (surely the camp wouldn’t be opposed to something like that, right), it was time spent together.

She rubbed the blush away from her cheeks as she continued on to her chores.

She wondered if she even needed to tell Camilla; the princess already seemed to know that something was up and Beruka seemed to catch on to Selena’s brighter mood, but regardless she pulled the younger retainer aside and nervously broke the news, wringing her hands all the while.

“Oh, is that all? From your expression I assumed that you had ripped one of Lady Camilla’s dresses.”

Selena huffed at the insinuation before Beruka waved her hand in jest and wished Selena good luck. “You’re going to need it. More than him anyway.”

She didn’t know what Beruka meant and continued to mull it over as she met up with Jakob for lunch as he explained to Kamui what had happened. Selena zoned out through pretty much the entirety of the conversation, only piping up when prompted accordingly. Kamui asked what was wrong naturally, though Jakob seemed to sense that the entire situation was still surreal for her and left her to her thoughts accordingly.

“Honestly everyone was just waiting for this time to come,” Kamui sighed as she stirred her drink with a careless hand. “I think after Leo and I got married that was a push to others to do the same with their relationships… Everyone’s stressed about the war so I think they would rather die without regrets.”

“Lady Kamui pardon my saying, but I do believe the only other two in a relationship are Lady Azura and Kaze…”

“Well, Benny said he confessed and there’s the whole issue between Charlotte and Xander.”

Selena wondered if something had been going on between the prince and Charlotte, though she hadn’t had the energy to inquire about it with the berserker. She didn’t have _that_ much energy. “I guess that’s more than I expected, but my own parents got together in the middle of a war, so it’s not really that surprising.”

“Unbelievable…”

“You and Prince Leo got together in the middle of a war so I hardly see how that’s unbelievable,” Jakob teased Kamui and she huffed, whining for a few seconds.

“I guess if something like this happened, nothing is really unbelievable,” Selena mused quietly as she touched Jakob’s hand lightly with her pinkie, fear and embarrassment slightly holding her back before he took her hand in his own comfortingly with a knowing glance in his eyes.

Kamui seemed to easily guess the exchange, but kept silent as she easily segued into a different conversation.

The next few days were busy enough to where they didn’t have any time alone, save for bouts of training (she could easily tell that Jakob was holding back, but his strength had also flourished during their travels, so she was slightly thankful for that), and Selena grew more anxious as the days slowly drew nearer to where they would fully leave the astral realm.

After that, Jakob could very well die and the thought shook her to her core. Naturally she had also been anxious before and her mind immediately flew to the time he had taken that blow for her. When she visited him the next morning she shared those thoughts with him because it was all due and proper that they begin speaking to each other about ideas like that and Jakob shared that he too was scared, but trusted her that everything would turn out all right.

“I can’t change any of this, so I try not to think on it too much or else I lose confidence and sleep.” He then quietly asked if he could hug her for a few minutes and they spent that bit of time with just the two of them silently as Selena slowly calmed down in his embrace. She pressed her face into his neck, a comforting spot, as she forced down her embarrassment at their closeness, something foreign. He ran his hand lightly down her spine before he ran his hand through her hair in a hopefully comforting way. “I suppose all we can do is make the best of the situation that has been placed before us…”

She shifted her weight slightly as she hugged his waist tighter and allowed a sort of calmness to take over her heart as she considered his words. “I suppose as long as I can be with you the rest doesn’t matter…”

Later when she spent some time wandering by herself she noticed that no one really… cared that they were together. Or rather it didn’t impact them in such a way to cause them any sort of emotions. It was almost calming in that regard; clearly she had been exaggerating her reactions to everything, though in the heat of the moment she hadn’t exactly had a calm mind.

Odin and Laslow had figured it out almost immediately, so they were rather the ones that told her she was in a relationship and she had confirmed it. It comforted her that she didn’t have to tell them everything.

She would still have them in the end anyway.

They met each other for a late lunch a day or so later and she noticed that Jakob seemed nervous again, but this time it was from a lack of communication from the surface. Hopefully Prince Xander and Princess Elise hadn’t run into resistance. Kamui and Charlotte met them later and seemed interested in “details” and Jakob quickly excused himself to avoid an awkward argument, touching Selena’s hand for a quick second before he did so.

“Ah, he never was good with people,” Kamui mused sadly as she rested her cheek in her hand, clearly knowing of the situation, and Selena wasn’t really surprised. “Oh well. Strengths and weaknesses.” She picked at her meal as Selena eyed the pair warily. “So. It’s been going good so far I assume? Both training and everything.”

“Y-yes…” Selena gulped before she picked at her food, quickly eating a bite. “Nothing much has happened, though…” Kamui gazed at her with an inquisitive expression, so Selena continued not answering the obvious question.

“So, anything interesting that you’ve done?” Charlotte drawled before taking a drink of her water, stirring her soup absentmindedly, and Selena flushed deeply at the insinuation, feeling indignation crop up at her words, and Kamui giggled at the suggestion, though it sounded nervous; she had likely been caught off guard just as much as Selena had. “That much unresolved sexual tension will do things.”

“Nothing’s happened like that!” Selena choked out, throat closed by embarrassment, and she leaned forward, staring into Charlotte’s eyes. “What do you mean ‘unresolved sexual tension’??? There’s nothing unresolved about this! Ugh!” She rubbed her arms again and shuddered.

 “Well maybe now,” Charlotte supposed, taking a bite, “but earlier, especially… the night of Lady Kamui’s wedding I was surprised that you left his room.”

“Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods…” Selena muttered like a mantra into her hands as she covered her face with embarrassment. _Ugh, I almost_ didn’t _leave,_ she thought quickly to herself before she cleared her throat and looked up again, face still completely and utterly red, much to Charlotte and Kamui’s amusement. “There… t-that… Nothing! Nothing.”

“I dunno Selena, the first step to recovery is acknowledgement,” Kamui murmured quietly, teasingly as she waved her hand dismissively again and Selena whimpered, feeling utterly defeated. “Oh don’t worry, Leo and I were embarrassed when we first started our relationship.”

“Well, you had… different reasons…” Selena muttered to herself while Charlotte smirked with an air of victory.

“Ha! So you two _are_ in a relationship now! You’re so stubborn about specific words so I wasn’t completely sure.” Selena stiffened at her accusation and flushed even further, something she thought wasn’t even possible.

“U-uh…” She couldn’t exactly _lie_ about it, not now. “Well…”

“Ugh! Even now you can’t say a word! You’re more stubborn than anyone I know,” Kamui huffed, puffing out her cheeks in a childish manner, and crossed her arms. “There’s nothing wrong with it if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“That’s not what I said…”

“Well, I suppose it’s going to take a while before you’re actually fine with it,” Charlotte mused as she slid her meal to the side, clearly more interested in Selena right now. “Though I suppose it’s old knowledge. I’m a little hurt you didn’t think to tell me earlier.”

“I thought you would have figured it out or something…” Selena muttered mostly to herself as she took a sip of her drink, watching as Jakob fumbled with some of the cooking utensils in the back, clearly still nervous himself. She almost laughed, but surely would have received a ‘knowing’ look from the princess and the guard, so she simply averted her gaze and focused on the conversation once again, despite everything putting her off.

“Well, I hope everything goes well for you…” Kamui mumbled, seemingly mostly to herself as Selena couldn’t catch the hidden meaning of her words, though Charlotte waved her hand and muttered something that Selena also failed to catch.

“Though, there are naturally a few things that I want to know since you’ve been holding back information.” The berserker began to smile lightly and sent Selena’s nerves on edge.

“Oh gods…”

“Soooo,” she drawled while clasping her hands together, “have you kissed yet? How many times? What else have you done?”

“G-Gods Charlotte!” Selena choked at the question and waved her hands around in confused nervousness. “That’s private!” She looked over toward Kamui with indignation. “Come on! She hasn’t asked _you_ stuff like that!”

“Ha!” Kamui’s laugh was completely devoid of emotion and her face turned blank. “That’s just what you think.”

Selena paused at that and Charlotte smirked again, closing her eyes. “Oh, I get to know everything around here.”

“I doubt any of that involves Xander, though,” Kamui muttered in a sort of retaliation and Selena drifted off into her own world again as the two began debating that new subject. Jakob eventually found it fitting to return back to the conversation and supplemented his own information about the crown prince, though Charlotte didn’t find it elucidating or anything of the sort.

“Not everything goes smoothly. You’d know that, butler,” Charlotte sighed as she crossed her arms.

“Nothing goes smoothly. That’s just a simple fact.”

Those words certainly rang true as the army reached the surface and finally breached contact with King Garon and his army in person. Iago smirked at the princess as she led the vanguard past and Jakob shuddered as he caught Hans in the corner of his eye. Selena touched his hand slightly in comfort, but knew she couldn’t do much about his animosity toward the axeman.

Kamui had already explained that this first fight would be taxing as the fort was the second strongest hold of Hoshido and the brunt of the army had collected in this area. The vanguard would be taking a smaller section of the wall with the more experienced fighters of Hoshido lying in wait while Garon’s army tried demolishing the other sides. Kamui had been confused as to why Garon would split the army like so, but had chalked it up to Iago being Iago again and Selena bristled at the thought.

She didn’t know how either Azura or Kamui would take this fight as they would no doubt run into the Hoshido siblings very soon, though she knew Kamui had a plan to try and simply capture her siblings. She was completely fine with that and would like herself to explain the Nohrian plan to the Hoshidans. Even now she felt bad about using them as bait, but all in all it couldn’t have been helped much. She met gazes with Laslow who seemed to think the same thing as he patted Peri’s horse.

“I hope you can deal with these plans appropriately, Kamui,” Iago slurred menacingly at the princess as Xander and Leo looked on from the sides, clearly too intimidated by the thought of their father’s words to do anything much. Elise clung onto her sister’s arm as Camilla stroked her hair and Kamui stiffened her shoulders, not very surprising to Selena.

“Of course. I am a princess of Nohr after all, legally and in my heart.”

“Ah yes, those… matrimony plans,” Iago sighed as he glanced toward Leo who winced and looked to the side. Selena almost wondered if Iago had been the one to train the prince. If Zola hadn’t, then it was likely. “Hmph. Who you sleep with is none of my concern. I only worry about your convictions toward Hoshido.” Kamui bristled at his first statement, but held her tongue as Iago looked back at her. “If you are unable to properly deal with your… eh, kin, then King Garon won’t hesitate with any punishments.”

“Naturally I will be able to perform any mission than befalls me, Iago,” Kamui snapped, expression stiff. “Will you?”

“Do you doubt me, princess?”

“I doubt all. It keeps me alive after all. I cannot merely trust anyone. Surely you would know.” Kamui watched with a wary eye as Iago snorted before walking off, likely to check up on other smaller groups that had split off from the main army. She exhaled slowly as Leo patted her shoulder and Selena glanced over at Jakob as he watched Iago, and now Hans apparently, go about their business.

“Well, I guess that’s all the contact with Garon we’ll get,” Kamui sighed as she turned to Xander and the three royals split off to discuss further plans while their retainers grouped up to discuss a bit of strategy themselves.

Selena decided to be by herself for a few minutes while Jakob talked a bit with Flora and Felicia before taking tips from Laslow about some sword play. She almost thought his flustered expression was rather cute, but banished the thought before it could properly surface, it was too embarrassing.

Iago finally gathered Garon’s troops together while the vanguard slowly made their way towared their own starting section to take their section of the fort. Hans, Garon, and Iago broke from the main force so that Garon could properly speak with his children and Kamui in person, though each of them seemed equally rattled knowing that he was not truly their father. Selena wasn’t sure if Iago knew of that fact, or even if he had somehow planned it himself, but telling by Hans’s baffling behavior he clearly knew nothing and was only there for brute force.

Her shoulders stiffened instinctively as he walked over to her and Jakob, easily recognizing them from Cheve and every event since. He smirked and gripped his axe in an almost intimidation fashion, though that was hardly the reason Selena winced and took a half step back. Jakob noticed her nervousness and, despite his own clear distaste toward the soldier, stepped slightly in front of her in a protective fashion. “Hans. What are you here for?”

Hans huffed as Selena frowned angrily up toward him. “I assume you both remember your moment of weakness in Cheve. Now that we’re properly working again I just… wanted to remind you to step carefully. Don’t do anything to disgrace Nohr’s name again or else I’ll take matters into my own hands next time.” He chuckled as Selena bit her tongue to avoid yelling at him. “That’s right. Say nothing. You’re merely a body meant to protect royalty after all.”

“I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut to avoid spouting such incongruences, Hans,” Jakob snarked at the fighter and he took a step back as if surprised by the butler saying anything at all.

“Hm. Last I saw you I believe you were acting quite weakly? I’m surprised Lady Kamui let you stick around for as long as you have.”

“How funny that only one incident seems to not account for a person’s behavior,” he replied smoothly and Selena touched his hand lightly to warn him that Kamui seemed to be ready. Jakob stared at Hans for one more second as the berserker seemed to fit some pieces together before the pair headed off, leaving the fighter in the dust.

“Thank you…” Selena muttered almost thinly and Jakob shrugged his shoulders at the remark.

“The day I let someone toy around with you like that is the day I’m dead.”

Kamui cleared her throat as the vanguard grouped up properly and Selena watched out of the corner of her eye as Niles plucked a leaf out of Mozu’s hair. “I’m afraid I have some rather unsettling statistics… King Garon has informed me of the current numbers in the Nohrian army…. We…” She paused and looked at Xander as if to gather strength. “We have lost at least half of the overall army in the conquest of Hoshido.”

“Gods, but we barely saw any real fighting,” Laslow muttered next to Selena and she nodded.

“We were lucky enough to be the vanguard, a fighting force that bypassed most of the groupings of Hoshidan soldiers, but the main army was not as lucky…” Kamui inhaled slowly, closing her eyes against the strain. “We currently face Hoshido at one to five… From this point onward I cannot guarantee anyone’s survival, not like before… Not like when we had the astral realm and merely took on missions that were assigned to us…” She shook her head sadly as Leo thumbed through some pages. “This will be the brunt of the war… And we must expect and react as such. So please, fight with all strength that you have. This will be our great enemy, not Anankos. With Anankos, well,” she chuckled, “we outnumber him twenty to one, wouldn’t you say?”

“We’ll brave our way forth as well as we can, Kamui,” Leo muttered as he sent a comforting look her way and Camilla and Xander nodded their heads as Kamui rubbed her arms. “At least Father… or rather that thing possessing him, has thought to keep us together for the last line.”

“Clearly even he knows strategy,” Charlotte sighed before flicking her hair away from her shoulder. Selena felt nervous about how they would take on Anankos. She had seen him after all and though Grima definitely dwarfed him as far as size went (Anankos was the size of a temple while Grima rivaled that of a city), a dragon was still a dragon. Jakob shot a nervous smile her way, hardly comforting, but at least he tried, and made his way over to Kamui to discuss further information.

. . .

Selena grit her teeth as she fended off another sword blow from an opponent as Silas turned around a corner, followed by his partner (Selena was too tired to remember who) and Beruka and Kaze held up the back. She finished off the enemy quickly enough, leaving him on the ground, but ducked too quickly from a shuriken launcher and ended up falling off of her horse.

“I’ll aim for that enemy!” Beruka yelled before she took to the skies, quickly avoiding an arrow shot as Kaze ducked behind Selena, blocking the back again. She huffed, quickly gripping her sword tighter as her horse stepped away to avoid another enemy that Kaze quickly finished off.

“Ha! Pitiful Nohrians! You’ll never take Hoshido alive!” Selena stepped back, almost surprised, as Princess Sakura’s younger retainer, Hana, brandished her katana in a show of fashion, clearly challenging Selena to a fight. She shouted something else, but Selena lost it in the heat of the moment as she grabbed her bow, shooting a first warning arrow toward the samurai.

Thankfully, while samurai were freakishly fast and hit hard, their defenses left a lot to be desired. The arrow nicked Hana’s leg, but she dashed forward in a brilliant show of speed and sliced Selena’s left arm, thankfully not her dominant hand, but shooting more arrows became a null prospect and she unsheathed her sword as she blocked another attack, cutting at the retainer’s legs as she left her arm hanging, useless.

In an almost strange occurrence, Selena managed to catch Hana’s chest in a sword slash, fight only perhaps thirty seconds in, and sent the girl harshly to the ground. Kaze appeared next to her and checked her breathing, nodding his head once. “You once again show your mastery at the sword…”

“She’s only gotta be seventeen… Of course I’d best her in a fight…” She pulled Hana to the side and continued on, slightly confused as to why the fight would be so easy, though her throbbing arm cautioned her otherwise.

Perhaps half an hour later and Selena sighed as she let her sword rest against her leg, Yukimura and Sakura having surrendered to Kamui and thus the Nohrian army. Selena rubbed her arm, minutely healed by a concoction, and Beruka rubbed her head.

“I hope the other side has had as much luck as we had… I heard that pegasi reigned in that section,” Kaze breathed as he rested on Beruka’s wyvern for a short breath of air.

Selena rolled her head and masassed her neck, feeling a tinge of worry as she failed to notice Jakob in Kamui’s crowd. “Ugh, at least it’s over… Everyone’s laying down their weapons, so I can only assume the Hoshidan army isn’t planning to snipe us. Hopefully.”

“Ah, Yukimura…” Kaze muttered and Selena wondered how much he knew about the strategist. It was true of course that he led the attack to capture Azura, so it was likely that Kaze held some misgivings about the soldier.

It seemed upsetting that Shura couldn’t be alive for this and Selena felt a prick of unease thinking on it. Hopefully Mokushu could get what was coming to them after the war. Unless of course Hoshido knew about it the whole time… She touched her arm again and felt exhaustion flow through her body.

“I’ll fly ahead and gather our next information,” Beruka said with calm, favoring her injured leg, and the two soldiers nodded their heads as she took to the sky. Selena felt a prick of nervousness now that the fighting had ended and she remained distant from Jakob, but on a subconscious level she didn’t feel any worry, so certainly everything had to be fine.

Camilla arrived after a few minutes and quickly communicated to the two that they were to round up any remaining Hoshido soldiers; Yukimura had indeed surrendered. “I believe the retainers are to be held with the princess, or at least separately, so keep Hana from the other fighters.” Not that she could really complain, but at least Sakura could heal her that way.

Kaze, being a ninja, had no problems binding each soldier and leading them up to the front with everyone else, but Selena had her horse, so she also had an edge. She watched as Elise looked toward Sakura for a few seconds before she noticed Selena and Kaze arrive. Her hands were covered with some blood and her staff seemed weaker than normal and Selena shivered slightly at the thought.

The other side must have struggled much more than she anticipated, though no one on her side had escaped injury save Kaze (even then he had twisted a leg trying to escape an attack), and by looking at the gathering vanguard everyone seemed worse for wear. She felt a jolt of panic when she couldn’t spot Jakob in the crowd, panic renewed by the sight of the blood, but calmed down as soon as he appeared in her vision.

She almost felt sick, worrying about him instead of feeling empathy for others in the same situation.

Kaze breathed as he closed his eyes, catching Selena’s attention again, and slowly pushed the bangs away from his eyes. “How is the army doing?”

“There are lots of injuries, but Felicia, Flora, and Niles are taking care of it… I’m focusing on the Hoshidan soldiers near death…” Elise’s gaze seemed downcast and Selena wondered if anything more had happened. “I didn’t think… It would be so bad.”

“Like Lady Kamui said,” Kaze sighed again, rubbing his side, “this is war… Perhaps we struggled in Mokushu and when Prince Takumi’s army fared against us in Cheve, but we were thankfully away from the front lines…”

“I’ll… I’ll go find Niles,” Selena sighed, closing her eyes against her mental and physical pain. She didn’t need to deal with Elise or Kaze right now and her mission was done after all, though judging by Princess Sakura’s face, things seemed to be going downhill.

A scream of fear and death seemed to exemplify that feeing and Selena whipped her head around, watching with returning muted horror as Hans tore into the forces once again as Iago and Garon watched from the back. Certainly, other Nohrian soldiers joined in (save the vanguard, naturally), but her eyes honed in on the berserker, feeling sheer anger and fear flood her veins again and she felt her skin cool.

“No, stop! Unhand me! I need to heal them!” Sakura’s screams were drowned out by Iago’s opposition, despite Kamui echoing the same sentiment, arguing that the army had been defeated soundly, despite their own wounds.

“Kamui! You disappoint me.” Garon’s words hardly stopped the princess and she strode forward, Jakob and Leo’s outstretched hands hardly holding her back.

“Garon! Have some humanity!” She swiped her hand to the side, voice strong, but hardly appealing to the king. “There is no salvation in death when defeat is already at hand! Stop your soldiers or else you face future repercussions!”

“Hoshido serves no punishment toward us when they are defeated. Get that through your head or else you risk failing Nohr,” Garon spoke measuredly, quietly, and Kamui wilted, face scrunching up with despair as the king and Iago continued on with their duties as Sakura collapsed, sobbing.

Elise stopped Hans from going after the princess at least and her tearstained face seemed to strike some sort of guilt in the berserker, but not enough to stop him from going after more soldiers. Selena met gazes with Jakob who seemed to be equally wincing.

“Perhaps it is not only Garon who is possessed,” Kaze murmured next to her, unable to tear his eyes away from the carnage and the screams, though Selena was unsure.

“I’ve met people like this in a world where possession was rare… I’d say it’s unlikely…”

Kaze sighed before he journeyed off toward Kamui and Selena found solstice in Jakob’s embrace, though the scent of metal and blood filled her lungs and he winced against her touch, his own injuries encompassing. She blinked away tears from her eyes at his pain, wondering how she had gotten so sentimental.

Naturally, their army was unable to journey further for the day, so after Garon, Iago, and Hans left an hour or so later to recoup with their own army, Kamui sectioned the Hoshidan soldiers off, keeping them in a decently protected area, before she merged the Vanguard to where Sakura, Yukimura, and her retainers were resting and explained their next plan.

Sakura seemed numb still, but Tsubaki and Hana appeared shocked that Garon had been possessed by an ancient dragon, though Tsubaki seemed slightly more willing to that information. Yukimura scoffed, perhaps disbelieving them, but he had probably spoken to Garon personally in the past in meetings and the like. Selena didn’t care too much for him.

“I know you wish to do something toward your country, but you must trust us to take this into our own hands,” Kamui sighed, shaking her head as Tsubaki made to utter something. “What is best for you is to remain here and heal…”

“We can’t just abandon Hoshido!” Hana yelled, straining against her bonds and wounds before Tsubaki forced her down carefully. “This is our country and you expect us to let a lunatic blaze through it, killing everyone!?”

“Quiet your tongue, retainer,” Leo sighed, eyes closed. “We are doing our best to hasten the end. You and your princess have our word that we will do everything in our power to prevent the deaths of your royalty. Father may see fit to execute them before we are able to stop him, however…”

“And he’s just going to stop after he gets Hoshido, is that it?” Yukimura sneered before Sakura could give another shaky cry. “You Nohrians truly have no grasp of logic.”

“And you Hoshidans seem to think information is completely free,” Xander forced the tactician’s way, narrowing his gaze. “You are lucky enough we have spared you and beget this information unto you.”

“You’re just keeping the villain cloak away from yourself and onto Garon,” he spat before Tsubaki winced and muttered some words his way. “I believe none of this.”

“Would you believe it if I told it to you?” Azura spoke clearly, voice thin, and Yukimura paused. “I know that you are the one who captured me. I know also that Hoshido did nothing to stop Kohga’s passing. I would have you not paint Hoshido as the complete good in this scenario. Nohr is suffering from a deranged king. You know not of the common people’s struggles.”

“Brainwashers…”

“I want to believe them,” Sakura muttered, voice thick and tear-filled and Elise patted her shoulder. “King Garon is something else and that mage looks… terrifying… I can’t… I won’t believe that Nohr would allow this. I don’t want to think about a world where every Nohrian is evil…”

Kamui smiled toward her younger sister. “Thank you, Sakura… I also do not want to believe that every Hoshidan would tear apart Nohr at a moment’s glance. Hopefully once Garon is gone, we can forge new bonds of trust and righteousness…”

“Good luck with that.” Kaze tilted his head at the tactician’s words. “I would never enter into peace with Nohr…”

“Perhaps not the Nohr of today, but the Nohr of the future?” Leo suggested snidely before he sighed again. “Your mission may not be complete… If you are able to heal and recover, we may have need of you yet. There is a hidden beast that we have not imparted unto you… Lag behind the army, watch for soldiers, but arrive at Castle Shirasagi. If you see a great power, a great darkness that seems to swallow up the world, enter the castle. King Garon has been defeated. A new enemy reigns. Assist us then. I can only hope your siblings will do the same.” Selena doubted Yukimura would heed his words, but Leo seemed assured in his task.

Not like the extra help would be unwanted anyway. Selena bit her lip at the thought of finally going up against Anankos and shivered as she imagined the same event in Ylisse. Jakob touched her shoulder lightly, but before they could do much of anything they were off again, traveling forth without delay before Garon could do something horrid once again to Kamui and her army.

Over the course of the day or so, Selena noticed Elise and Princess Sakura hanging out a few times, though it seemed more of a comforting gesture than anything that could be interpreted as friendship-involved. Perhaps Elise felt bad in some way; Nyx had explained to Selena that, lately, she had been more empathetic to others, though she didn’t know if that was a result of her hormonal spike (being fifteen in a war was probably terrible, but having a fifteenth birthday was probably also terrible, though Selena could relate of course) or because of something that she neglected to mention.

Selena wondered if it had to do with mortality.

The closer they arrived to Hoshido, the looser Garon’s grip on reality seemed to be and by the third day Kamui managed to ‘accidently let the princess and her retainers escape’ according to Iago, but Garon seemed to think the four army members not worth pursuing, wounded as they were, so the mage continued to glower until the day before the next battle was to occur.

“This is the wall of Susano’o, so we’ll have to throw all of our power into defeating this,” Kamui muttered as she gathered the vanguard around. “My younger brother Takumi has been reported to be leading his army on this charge, so we can expect as harrowing a fight as at the port…” She continued splitting the army into separate groups who would take their own charges as the fight drew on. Selena and Jakob’s group was to deal with the samurai huddle down at the base of the wall while the rest of the army would surge ahead and split further as they breached that capacity. She let out a sigh of relief after knowing that she would be close to Jakob. If worst came to worst she could do something about it. He seemed to be relieved in that aspect as well and touched her cheek before the army busied about preparing for the fight.

Garon was currently dealing with the city anyway, but Selena worried for what would happen in that instance. The larger army had naturally lagged behind, but it seemed as if Iago and Hans had aimed for such a goal and Selena had shared her worries with the princess and Camilla.

“We can’t do anything about it,” Camilla sighed and rubbed her jaw. “If we disobey my father now, then we risk blowing the whole operation… If we do this, then we can save other Hoshidan lives.”

Selena shuddered at the thought of what Hans was doing to the innocents, but as it was the brunt of the army was attacking a different side of the wall. She wondered if Anankos’s influence spread enough to where he consciously put Kamui into the most painful situations. Fighting her siblings would wear away on her sanity, even more than the war had been. She felt for the princess of course, but also wondered if this way was better. Now that they were dealing with possession… Well, she had always wanted to take out Garon.

They arrived to the specific area soon enough and Selena touched the hilt of her sword as everyone split up into their designated groups. Jakob turned to face her and she sent him a half smile before he pressed a quick kiss to her temple to calm her slightly. He sent a quick look to Kamui, communication something that she could tell, and sighed as he adjusted his armor. “We have a sighting on the prince. It’s unlikely they’ll be able to take him into custody, but we couldn’t tell Lady Kamui that… She would lose her resolve.”

“Who did you get that information from?” Selena murmured quietly as she adjusted the packs on her horse’s side and Jakob blinked quickly.

“Princess Azura. She believes that he is also under the influence of Anankos, as he apparently has drastically changed in personality. Princess Sakura has also told Lady Elise as much,” he added on as further evidence, “but I’m not sure how much we are able to believe the Hoshidan royalty. No doubt they would do nearly anything to stop our conquest.”

Selena considered his words for a few moments before she turned back to her horse, wondering just how this would impact the rest of the fight. If the prince really was being controlled by Anankos, it could make the war a lot more complicated than it had been already. If it really was true… They would have to kill him. Of course, Garon would like that to happen regardless, but Selena and certainly the rest of the vanguard wanted it to be otherwise.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to stare into Elise’s eyes. The princess looked away quickly as Selena blinked, but she kept on standing strong. “Sakura… Sakura told me about how much… How good her family is…” She frowned and tried in vain to blink away a few tears and Selena wondered how different the royal families really were before she continued on again. “I know… I know that her brother, Prince Takumi, is likely to not survive and I’m ok with that. But please…” She exhaled slowly before turning back to face Selena with renewed confidence and her lips hardened with conviction. “Please spare his retainers… They’re like family to Sakura, like how you, Odin, and Laslow are to us. Please… remember that we’re all human…”

“Maybe we’re all human,” Selena answered slowly and quietly, feeling Jakob shift with unease near her, “but Anankos isn’t. He won’t let us go easy on anyone. If the retainers plan on defending the prince to the death… Then we have to think of our own lives first. That is war after all.”

Elise closed her eyes and looked to the side again, probably remembering both Shura’s death and Jakob’s injuries, now joined with Sakura’s reluctant friendship and new information. “I’m tired of all of this. I want it to end quickly.”

“Well,” Selena replied quickly with a huff as she adjusted her horse’s knapsack one last time with a satisfying tug, “if our plan goes right, it will be over soon. Less than a month now, if everything goes exactly right.”

“What if things go wrong?” Elise’s words struck a heartstring in Selena’s chest, but she didn’t let those few words dissuade her. She turned and placed her hands on her hips in a hopefully strong and uplifting position as the princess crossed her arms in worry.

“Well, this day will be over soon, hopefully with the end of the wall. It’ll be a week and a bit to the capital, and then… It will be over before we can blink.”

“And then you, Odin, and Laslow will be leaving…” Elise looked to the side with continued narrow eyes and Selena could have sworn that a few tears lingered in her eyes.

“Yes. But hopefully we’ll be leaving this world in a much better state than when we arrived.”

She couldn’t think much more about that end or else she would risk worrying Elise more.

Elise dipped her head once and disappeared to her own separate group while Selena and Jakob began discussing a further plan with their own members. Mozu would be an integral part, being able to hit samurai with stunning accuracy, along with Kaze and Azura as boost. Niles would be providing backup support while Jakob braved ahead with Selena as more support. “Apparently the prince’s retainer samurai will be the lead of that group,” Niles sighed as he ran over the specific briefings, “so that’ll be even more difficult to deal with.” He turned to talk to Mozu about more specific plans, but Selena interrupted him.

“It would be better if Jakob and I took him, I think. We’re not horribly fast and it would be better if you four would take the other samurai.” Jakob dipped his head once at Selena’s explanation. “It would be harder for us to be taken out anyway and we can also block him from continuing further. I’ve dealt with swordfighters in the past and I’d feel better if the rest of you focused on culling the herd.”

“Lady Kamui wants us to be as non-lethal as possible though,” Mozu brought up with a quiet voice as she pressed her hands together, bringing attention back to the reality of the situation. “If the samurai are really as loyal as Kaze and Azura report… Then how are we going to be able to deal with that?”

Niles didn’t answer immediately, probably for Mozu’s sake, while Kaze sighed at the prospect. “Like ninja, the samurai of Hoshido are loyal to a fault. Regardless of their willingness to stay their blade after their defeat… They will die at the conclusion, unless we are able to change their hearts.”

“That’s too much for me to do,” Niles sighed while crossing his arms behind his head as Azura shot him a blank look. He shrugged and looked to the side. “We can’t afford to let ourselves have bare backs, right? Let’s just do what we need to do and get this over with.”

Apparently Kamui shared that same sentiment as the groups were ordered to start their excursions nearly at the conclusion of that conversation and Selena mounted her horse quickly, Jakob riding behind her. While she wouldn’t be at the very front, she would get visibility first and provide Kaze and Mozu with a quick opening before Jakob would dismount and fight the retainer (Sakura called him Hinata, but the name barely humanized him to her. She had known many names and killed their bearers, so it didn’t matter).

The fight started quickly, Beruka and Camilla having started their own attack on the second retainer from the other side of the ravine. Niles aimed a few arrows and Mozu and Kaze slunk forward, taking advantage of the samurai’s confusion of the situation while Azura supported the group. Selena quickly guided her horse to block off Hinata’s escape route and he stared up at the pair with a hardened gaze that nearly shook Selena to her bone. “Oh. So you’re part of the treacherous plan of Hoshido’s downfall. Pity.” He waved his sword into an attacking stance, eyes still boring into her skin. “You seem like a fun group of people on a good day. Shame that you won’t survive to carry those words.”

Jakob slipped from the top of her horse and Selena stepped it back, grabbing her bow with a careful hand as she loaded an arrow, notching it to the string. “If it’s any comfort to you,” he began with a bored voice, drawing his own sword as Hinata took a half step back, “it’s not like I _want_ to kill you. Really, I’d much rather you be alive. Then at least maybe Prince Takumi would surrender?” He twirled his sword almost boredly and Selena watched Hinata’s eyes become even darker as he reaffirmed himself and took another step forward.

“Prince Takumi would never surrender himself to the likes of the Nohrians. Scum doesn’t deserve to be bowed to, no matter life or death.” He spat out the words with a barbed tongue and all Selena could do was merely blink her eyes. She didn’t expect anything different really. Jakob eyed the situation for a few more moments, diverting Hinata’s attention away from the rest of the group traveling further to the right, and the samurai lunged.

Selena startled and stepped her horse back as she let an arrow loose, barely missing the soldier’s shoulder, and Jakob stepped back with a slight slip, letting out a breathless gasp. He hadn’t expected the vicious start, but then again neither had she and she had the most experience. He blocked the second swipe upward and Hinata took a vicious slash to the left, which Jakob narrowly avoided again before aiming for the samurai’s own side.

He easily blocked it, clean vision clearly blinded by his anger and maybe an equal amount of possession if he had hung around the prince so much. Selena didn’t know exactly how that process worked, but she couldn’t be certain about the retainer’s mental stability, and she stepped forward to trade a few blows before Jakob could be overwhelmed by a flurry of astra strikes.

Jakob pushed forward again, causing the angered retainer to take a step back as he held his katana perpendicular to the ground, reflection glinting off of his blade. It seemed cleanly sharp, as if it could split even a rock in two and Selena aimed another arrow at his feet, forcing him to journey backwards again.

The process continued on for a few minutes as both foot soldiers competed for ground room, but eventually, due to Selena’s assistance, Hinata was forced to stand with his back merely a few feet from the wall.

Both sword fighters had dealt nicks and scratches and Hinata suffered an arrow wound to the left shoulder while Jakob carried an equally worrying slash to his upper leg, but neither stopped in their deluge. Hinata jabbed forward again, the curve of the katana easing the metal through the air, and Jakob stepped cleanly to the right, socking the samurai in the stomach. “You would value your loyalty to a puppet over your own life? How disappointing.” He sighed at that comment and Selena wondered how long he had been in Garon’s service as a young boy. The thought disappeared almost as quickly as it came.

“Takumi…” Hinata inhaled sharply, a choking noise coming from his throat, and Selena narrowed her eyes at his meekness in that small moment, surprised that he seemed to become himself again. “Prince Takumi deserves all the loyalty in the world. He deserves everything…”

Jakob sighed and seemed about to hit him over the head with his hilt until suddenly the shaft of a thick arrow protruded from the back of his left shoulder. Selena stiffened, back tingling with fear, as Jakob let out a yell of pain, Hinata quickly slipping from his grasp to recover. Before he could attack the hero again, Selena shot an arrow, driving him backward a few steps before she arrived at Jakob’s side, pulling him onto her horse quickly with his good hand.

He inhaled sharply through his teeth and hugged her waist tightly with his right hand. She could only imagine the pain he was in and leaned back into him in a hopefully comforting fashion.

“Ha… That’s what you get…” Selena snapped her gaze toward the samurai again, but instead of staring them down he was gazing upwards at his prince and her blood cooled. “He always knows what’s right for me…” His gaze soured as a woman’s angry scream sounded out from the wall and he took a step forward before righting himself again and Selena knocked another arrow, holding it threateningly. “If you’ve laid a hand on Oboro…”

“Like I said…” Jakob coughed out through the pain, narrowing his eyes at the samurai. “It’s not like we _want_ to kill any of you…”

Another arrow landed on the ground, horrendously far from the triad, and Selena looked upward while Hinata was once again distracted. Kamui must have breached the final section of the wall. She looked down at the samurai again, confident smirk on her face carefully concealing the worry she held for her partner. “You’ve lost. Stand down and we’ll let you keep your life.”

Hinata clicked his tongue, stared up at the wall as Takumi was forced into a kneeling position by Azura, and slowly laid down his sword as Selena slipped off of her steed. “I’m only doing this because Takumi still needs my help.”

Selena sighed and whipped some rope out of her saddlebag before she carefully bound his hands with a Ylissean technique. “Oh, more than you know…”

. . .

Selena watched the prince and his two retainers flee into the forest, Azura and Kamui watching the two go with discontent looks on their faces.

Later, the princess explained that Takumi had indeed been possessed by Anankos, but to less effect than Garon, likely due to familial presence. “I assume… it was his insecurities that led him to that… terrible end…” She seemed upset as she said this and Kamui assured her while Selena glanced at Odin and Laslow again. At least the prince had agreed to assist them in the end if that need arose.

Jakob’s shoulder was another matter. He couldn’t rest this time due to their constant need for movement, but they wouldn’t meet up with Garon’s army until they breached the capital, so they could at least rest easy for now.

“It’s likely that they’ve consolidated the rest of their troops to the capital,” Xander explained carefully to the watchful vanguard and he swept his hand out. “If we run into anyone they are most likely not affiliated with Hoshido and we may take charge of them as we may. We won’t spill more blood than necessary, not on my watch.”

Selena dipped her head with tranquility as Jakob sat to her right, arm bandaged.

After Anankos’s defeat, Nohr would be in good hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eugh at least its over  
> I have some explanations for why this chapter took so freaking long  
> At first I wanted it to be more grimdark so I killed off Mozu, but afterwards struggled a lot with writing it. I wondered why this could be until I realized that it was because I took a route I didn't want. Cut that out.  
> Then I was busy because end of the semester. Then I just didnt want to finish the chapter because it sucked and I was realizing more how much Fate's plot also sucks.  
> At least the last few chapters will be very different and much more satisfactory.  
> I was originally not going to write the specifics of Hinoka's chapter, but after this I'm Extra not going to write that chapter.  
> This chapter is also really long. For no reason.  
> Now for actual announcements.  
> There's no way I can realistically update accurately, but I assure everyone reading this I am NOT GIVING UP I love this story, I love these characters, and I have the rest of it planned out. This fic will be a year old soon (a month or so) and... I just can't. It means too much to me.  
> However, I'm disappointed with fates. Due to the awfulness of fates I think it dragged down the first half lol. How to fix this, you may ask? Well, the only natural way would just be to make this an original work. I've debated this for a while and I just... well, I can't waste all of this work. I would no doubt have to take the ax to more characters (sorry keaton, but you're useless) and the first half would have to be changed. I don't even know what I'd do with the setting (i could make a modern story work, but swords??? are cool), but all I know is that I'd keep my original plot points and Selena and Jakob's character growth. At this point I feel like Jakob is better!Jakob and Selena is more of 'how Selena would have been was she written by american and not japanese since tradition'. Idk. I'd be interested in your thoughts.  
> Also also I've been thinking of a continuation of sorts. Nothing horribly long, but something experimental without a cleanly defined plot. My original plan was to do a bit of EliseXTakumi character growth post this fic, but now I've gotten GeromeXLucina vibes again and it would be interesting if they explored the world looking for their missing friends. Also I like awakening more. sorry. Idk which I'd do though.  
> I likely wouldn't do a sequel for this, not in an entirety, because after this... Jakob and Selena's story will be done. Tied up. Wow. What a thought. Maybe I'd do a oneshot, but I dunno.  
> Anyway, I just want to give a huge thanks to all of you for sticking around for this long, especially that long dry spell. I'll blame this chapter partially, my job+school partially, and my procrastination partially. I'm not completely in the writing groove yet, but I'll get there.  
> Thanks so much! And happy reading~


	23. Waking Dreams Fade Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't too satisfied with the beginning of the chapter at first, but I think it suits it now.  
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, I've been waiting for it for.... months....
> 
> A few noes: more cursing in this chapter than probably the rest of the fanfiction. Doesn't mean much. No gore warnings or anything like that, though.

Selena shifted warily in the carriage as she sat among boxes of various supplies that Xander had equipped for the war. It was lucky for them that they even had such a contraption for the wounded to rest in, but lucky for them, again, only Jakob and Charlotte had really gotten hurt and Charlotte couldn’t let her pride rest for even a day, so she rode atop Selena’s horse, adding “you two will probably want some alone time anyway”, much to Selena’s horrified embarrassment.

Jakob’s shoulder had been mostly mended by Elise’s careful healing, but it would be sore for a few more days and currently rested in a sling. He seemed bored by the current situation, but Selena could read his wariness easily; he wouldn’t meet her gaze and instead continued to stare at the driver, Niles, while tugging at the cuff of his sleeve. She cleared her throat once and looked away before shifting her sitting position, boots scraping against the wood of the floor. He turned to look at her after recognizing her own awkwardness and shifted slightly closer, his own nervousness forgotten. “Is there something you wish to discuss?”

She set her jaw, but recognized his tenacity for what it was worth and turned to face him despite her worry. “I doubt Prince Takumi was aiming for your shoulder. If he had been in the right state of mind…” She feared the end of the sentence and let it sit on her tongue as Jakob caught the implied meaning, sifting through her words with a careful and practiced edge. He let out a long sigh, eyes closed, and moved closer yet again, grabbing her hand with his good arm as he did so, and her eyes fully focused.

“I’m not dead, though. I’m still alive,” he continued, rubbing his thumb over her hand, and gazed gently down. “Perhaps I am a magnet to danger, but I would rather it be me than you or Lady Kamui.”

“You say that, but I feel the same way,” she forced out, the words lodged in her throat like a bad memory, and had to blink away a few sudden tears. Jakob seemed to sense the shift in mood and carefully placed his forehead against hers in an uncommon show of compassion. She felt his breath echo across her nose and cheeks, but didn’t pull away from the embrace.

“I’m still here. As long as you hold onto that image, your strength will outdo your weakness.”

She allowed herself to be awkwardly embraced and remained in Jakob’s arms until night fell and they set up camp once again.

After exiting her prepared tent, Selena joined the throng of members that had gathered around the largest campfire, Xander and Leo holding the majority of attention as they discussed intelligence and further tactical plans. The wall’s conquest had gone smoother than expected, but after their injuries fighting Princess Sakura’s squadron, Leo and Xander both worried that tanking the primary defense of the capital would leave them shaken.

“First reports stated that the majority of the army surrounded the capital, but recent intel gathered by front soldiers corrects this and says now that about half of the army has retreated inwards,” Xander explained as he waved a hawk-carried letter in his gloved hand. Camilla had her arms crossed next to him, face carefully blank like Beruka’s, and Selena blinked at the show.

“The second letter is most likely correct and it’s definitely better for us, theoretically,” Leo added quickly with a look to Kamui, “that it remains this way. However,” he added with a huff, “if they have prepared their troops like this, they definitely believe in their own strength. There is likely a secret weapon or strategy that they have concealed from us. They may realize the strength of this vanguard, and have now structured their plans to deal with us with greater accuracy than before.”

“If this is the case,” Kamui continued with a careful air, firelight flickering over her face, “then perhaps it would be better to group up with Garon’s forces one we reach the city. It’s the last thing I want to do, but we do have to protect this puppet in order to lure Anankos out completely…”

“He still wants us to stay separate, but I’ll bring this strategy up to him once we breach the outer wall,” Xander agreed quickly with sorrow etched in his features. “I can only assume that these are their strongest warriors and he’ll likely wish to consolidate to deal with them properly.”

“Prince Ryouma…” Selena muttered aloud the name and immediately regretted it. Kamui’s countenance turned down and her lips hardened to a line. Leo patted her shoulder once.

“There’s still a chance we may save them, even with Father… or that Thing with us,” Leo assured the army. “If we manage to save both Princess Hinoka and Prince Ryouma, relations with Hoshido should go smoothly after the war, especially if we manage to actually defeat Anankos.”

“We must,” Laslow sighed as Odin agreed. “If we don’t…. well,” he chuckled once and shot Selena a knowing glance, “then I guess we’ll have to go back in time again.”

“We don’t have the luxury of magic,” Xander warned his retainer, and Laslow rubbed the back of his neck as Peri shifted the weight of her spear to her other hand. The prince’s visage softened as he looked toward Elise and Camilla. “Though, I too would grasp for a second chance. However,” he passed the letter to Leo and turned, “I believe we have the strength to succeed. I have faith that, even if we begin to waver, Prince Takumi will see this and come to our aid. He’s a formidable foe, and would be an even stronger ally…”

“I’ll send Beruka to deliver the message,” Camilla spoke quickly, her words replacing Xander’s faded speech and the mentioned retainer dipped her head. “Should I send anyone with her, Xander, or would you prefer speed over protection?”

“The Hoshidan army would not send a squad to eliminate us at this rate, so I believe speed would be most useful,” the prince spoke and Leo nodded his head in agreement. Camilla waved to her retainer and the three retired to the main tent to compose the message. Selena sent a glance to Beruka before her fellow retainer dipped her head and followed the royals.

“Well, I suppose there’s no need to stay awake for this remaining time,” Nyx sighed at Elise, though the princess argued that she still needed to tend to some wounds and Felicia and Flora offered their assistance. Selena figured that she’d visit Jakob after that happened, so she followed Peri to help with some makeshift dinner.

She didn’t know what to say to him once that time arrived, so they spent some minutes in tender silence before they each returned to their respective tents, Selena’s empty without Beruka’s presence.

. . .

Joining with the main army stressed Selena out for a reason she couldn’t exactly place. After Iago requested a specialized meeting with the royals, she stood outside the tent as guard against both possible enemies and so that she would be certain that Iago wouldn’t try anything suspicious. No one really suspected that Hoshido would send a spy or anything of the like, they were too parsed for soldiers to do that (though, Nohr was nearly the same).

Kamui returned with some specific tactical information. Hinoka would be the one leading the first line of defense against the castle. The capital seemed to be mostly devoid of people save the inner ring of the city, near where the princess’s group laid in wait for the Nohrian army. Once again Garon’s army would take the brunt of the soldiering work while Kamui’s vanguard would target the specialized group that Hinoka had put together. Since her soldiers (Selena included, naturally) were head and shoulders above the norm, they would accomplish the task of eliminating said princess.

Kamui hoped that they would be able to spare the princess, but Leo cautioned the group that they would hold their lives above the enemy’s. “These soldiers are Hoshido’s ‘last hope’. They’ll fight to their bitter end if we let them.” He added that sometimes they would have to let them to spare themselves, and Selena grit her teeth as Kamui’s face turned downcast again.

“If you must, give them a wound that will put them out of commission,” Xander suggested as Camilla began gesturing to the easiest places, mostly leg and dominant arm locations. “Target their steeds if you must. We’ll cover for this vanguard if my father becomes suspicious.”

“He’s likely too far gone to care about anything but ultimate victory,” Camilla continued smoothly, a dim sadness veiling her eyes, “but Iago and Hans will be quick on the uptake.”

“If only for Iago telling Hans point blank,” Charlotte scoffed, but Selena could sense her stiffness. Even she was still nervous about the axeman. Xander seemed to catch this as well, but Charlotte huffed and muttered something about weapon repair and hurried away.

Selena and Jakob eyed Hans warily as they both ran through some drills before Kamui suggested they teach some fledgling soldiers techniques. She didn’t quite know what to think of the suggestion, but she didn’t want innocent Nohrians being killed either, so she and Jakob split up the army based on gender and ran them through balancing drills. She would have thought Laslow or Odin would have been a better choice, but they seemed busy with their lords, so she brushed it off. If only Camilla needed her a bit more, but Beruka seemed to be doing most of the deliveries. Likewise, Peri and Niles seemed to be assisting with the general army in their own special ways.

Near sunset, Selena called off the drills, hoping that at least this small amount of time would help a solider or two survive a fight. “It won’t be muscle memory yet, but I hope that you can at least remember some of the more advanced balancing techniques,” she finished with a sigh and the nearest soldiers dipped their heads. “Group with your squads and go over more information. Tomorrow will be a strenuous day and I’d like you all to be as prepared as possible.”

“Will your squadron be fighting with us, miss?” One of the soldiers asked quickly and dipped her head when Selena raised an eyebrow.

“Not completely. Why do you ask?” It was a strange question. Selena didn’t know how popular Kamui and Xander were to begin with, but she had definitely sensed an air of admiration as she assisted some people directly with their drills. Perhaps there was some hope after all?

“It would… ease our consciences if the princes and princesses were to fight directly on our side,” she admitted carefully, voice low. “King Garon is strong and powerful, but… he isn’t…”

“I understand,” Selena spoke up quickly, cutting off the solider before they could say something condemning and tapped their shoulder once. “But don’t worry. Prince Xander will succeed King Garon once he falls of time. You merely need to wait for that moment.”

Hopefully the solider couldn’t read between the lines too easily, but she wanted to spread at least a hint of hope that the darkness blanketing Nohr would dissipate soon. Very soon. A smile spread over their faces and Selena dipped her head once before retreating to the vanguard’s separate tents.

She stopped cold as she noticed a hulking figure lurking near Jakob’s tent, realizing quickly after that he too was outside and engaged in fierce conversation. Her mind’s eye flashed back again to the scene in Cheve, Scarlet’s gruesome death ringing in her ears. But, this time, instead of being paralyzed by the thought, she used it to force her feet forward until she came between the two men, staring defiantly up into Hans’s eyes as Jakob took a nervous step back. His own anxiety came to her in waves; clearly he hadn’t been in the discussion through free will and she was glad to give him an out.

Hans clicked his tongue at the movement, but hesitated to step back. “Retainer. I see you still haven’t learned your place.”

“You seem unsure of yours as well, dog,” Selena spat out, hatred replacing the fear in her burning veins, and she watched in satisfaction as Hans’s façade wavered with hot anger. “What did Garon want you to do this time? Mess with a tent? Pester us? Figures he’d have no better use for you, you’re a one-track mind quickly running out of path.”

“Watch your tongue, bitch,” Hans practically snarled at her and the anger within her heart refreshed. “I have better things to do than-“

His words were cut off by a gasp of pain and Selena jumped back, Jakob no longer remaining behind her. She exhaled sharply as she noticed a gash on the axeman’s left shoulder, clean, no doubt caused by a thin knife. She shifted her position in confusion as she watched Jakob return his knife to a holster on his thigh and he stared at Hans with a hatred she hadn’t seen since… perhaps ever.

“Guh… What in gods name are you doing?” Hans, perhaps out of better swears, merely staggered to the side to meet Jakob’s gaze in full, though, with pain reflected within it, it seemed to waver.

“If you dare use those despicable words towards my girlfriend again, I can’t promise that my knife won’t find a more accurate place to lay itself within your skin.” He turned slowly to face Hans full on and, even though Selena couldn’t see the extent to his expression, it almost scared her. Had he been a mage, she was sure the dark magic would be pouring off of him. His muscles, tense, seemed ready to deal yet another blow and Hans stepped away, hand still trying to stop the bleeding. He wouldn’t die of it, nowhere near, but she and Jakob both knew that such a wound would hurt.

Really, Hans was lucky Jakob had been feeling merciful; he could have easily killed the axeman in such a situation of unawares. He stumbled away, perhaps to get another healer (Nyx hated him, Felicia was scared to death, and Elise and Flora were no fools), and Jakob finally exhaled, almost too loud for Selena’s tastes. She took a step forward, not quite touching him yet. “Really, his insult was rather lame, just repeating me like that. At least my statement had truth in it.”

“I can’t believe you can just joke around like that,” he sighed out before finally turning to her, eyes narrowed but kind. “He’s done so much to cause animosity, yet you…”

“Well,” Selena shrugged nonchalantly, “you cut him off before he could say much more.” Jakob half-chuckled, clearly concealing his humor, and Selena realized the pun a second too late, too busy laughing over his failed attempt at composure. “I didn’t mean it like that! Or maybe I did. But it doesn’t matter!”

He ruffled her hair, much to her annoyance, and the pair headed toward the dinner tent, stresses relieved after a long build-up.

. . .

The battle progressed easier than Selena expected. Considering they had six members wielding dragon veins opposed to Hoshido’s one, the tides turned rapidly, sweeping the flying units off of the map and out of worry. Evading them had been an easy task as a result, though it had taken Niles a few times to take down the monk Azama. He and his fellow retainer were currently watching Kamui inform Hinoka of the situation and, like Sakura, she complied without argument.

“Yukimura did that…?” The princess mused as Kamui took her naginata, downcast in a way that only someone with a traitor in their midst could. “Once I meet up with him, I’ll convince him.”

“Considering your position as Hoshidan royalty, I’m surprised you’ve complied as easily as you have,” Xander commented as Leo leaned closer to his shoulder for a quick comment. Hinoka shrugged at the action as Setsuna and Azama looked at each other with dulled worry.

“I believe that Kamui wouldn’t choose a side fundamentally flawed or evil. I believe in her above you, but through her, I also trust you minimally.” Hinoka’s explanation seemed appropriate enough and Selena couldn’t blame her. If Nohr had been messed up from the beginning, she was sure that she, Laslow, and Odin would have also fled to Hoshido and asked for their help. That country was the better off anyway, but they also wouldn’t have known about Garon’s possession. Though, perhaps Azura would have.

There were so many options for everything and Selena didn’t know which one would work out the best in the end. Hopefully they were working toward the right one. Kamui seemed to be conflicted as well as Leo turned to whisper into her ear and the royals walked off to some deceased soldiers.

“Lady Hinoka, we should retreat outside the capital and search for your siblings,” Setsuna suggested with her low voice and Azama agreed. The princess nodded once, looked at Selena for almost a second, and turned, disappearing outside the capital buildings with her retainers in tow.

Overall, that had turned out rather anticlimactic, but after Jakob’s brush with death, she would take that with open arms. She still felt bad about revealing the Hoshidan family’s position as Anankos’s lure, but Hinoka seemed accepting that, considering the situation, they had done what they could.

If only the stupid dragon hadn’t been born, none of this would be happening. But, then, she supposed she wouldn’t have met Jakob either and, despite her internal conflict, she couldn’t say definitively that she would be better off without those memories.

Breaching the castle was an easy task. Garon’s army had taken quick work of the rest of the soldiers and, once again, she and Jakob had to watch as Hans and Iago slaughtered what few ordinary people blocked their path. Nyx muttered something akin to ‘this is certainly a conquest’ and Selena couldn’t help but agree. She figured that averting her eyes would only lend to Hans’s podium of terror, so she met his gaze when he found his way over to the pair, eyes shining as if to prove to them that he was leagues more useful than they. Jakob found it hilarious later, but the both of them agreed that if they were to fight Anankos, both he and Iago needed to go.

Kamui didn’t know what to do with them, but she shared the same sentiments. “I’m not sure of their relationship with Garon… Or rather, that ‘thing’, but if it’s revealed that they were behind this in part, they will be executed for the good of the country.”

“Hans could be executed for war atrocities alone,” Leo deadpanned and Elise agreed with a shake of her head. “Iago is harder to pin down and if he had any tracks to begin with, they’ll be very hard to uncover. He’s been working with my father for years, among others…”

“It was better that he taught you over Zola,” Xander commented quickly to soothe over his brother’s nerves, though Kamui gave him a kiss on the cheek to do so further. “Zola’s clever nature, or lack of, was his undoing, and I’d rather you gain beneficial techniques to your art.”

Selena didn’t know the intricacies of the royal family’s past, but she knew that all events contained were less than desirable; Camilla didn’t go into them often, but she had heard murmurs of murder. She didn’t care about that past so much, it helped her lady protect herself better, she thought.

The vanguard left the main part of the army to enter the castle while the military stalked the city to get it fully under Nohrian control and Selena shuddered again as Kamui gave a wounded look out of one of the windows.

The castle seemed huge and Selena assumed that the bulk of the army remained around a specific location, probably the throne room, for their last stand. She felt bad again at thinking about how it was likely that no Hoshidan would survive this fight, but she also knew that Kamui would do whatever it took to make sure her brother still breathed air. Occasionally she would spot ninjas hiding in the shadows while Garon, Iago, and Hans stuck around near the middle with said princess, their own small forces clustered around the outer edges. The royalty seemed to be discussing something important, but Selena couldn’t catch anything over the clinking of armor and weaponry.

Jakob touched her arm, alerting her to a tighter group of the Hoshidan soldiers and she watched as the scattered away. “It’s unlikely they’re heading to the throne room,” Jakob murmured only loud enough for her to hear and she nodded her head once. “They’re probably gathering intel and also trying to lead us away, but it seems only a few of us have really noticed.”

“Oh, I bet it’s more than that,” she answered back quickly, but eventually the army arrived at an impasse and Garon’s troops split to the left while Kamui gestured to the right. “We’ll be meeting back up at the throne room; Azura’s informed us of the directions.”

Selena let her head fall slightly. Azura likely diverted Garon’s forces so that they could attack Ryouma head on, hopefully sparing him. The king’s forces disappeared around the edge of a corridor and Selena continued following the princess through the dimly lit castle.

Kamui halted before a corner, gesturing to Leo and Xander to follow her as she entered the next room. Selena held back with the main forces as she listened in on the conversation, but judging by raised tones and what sounded like the crown prince shouting obscenities, it didn’t seem to be going too well.

In seconds, the door closed behind the royals and Hoshidan troops swarmed the two surrounding corridors. Jakob let out a cry for Kamui while Selena and Charlotte quickly formed themselves into an offensive group. Camilla and Elise shouted out quick orders while Azura revealed tactical information on the soldiers.

“We must break through the back door before the prince defeats Xander, Leo, and Kamui! Everyone, be on guard and fight as quickly and cleanly as possible!”

Selena didn’t know how well she would be able to not end up killing each soldier, but she and Jakob quickly turned toward the right corridor with Charlotte, Mozu, Niles, and a few others she couldn’t see immediately while Azura, Kaze, Peri, Laslow, and others flooded the left.

The sheer amount of ninja and samurai astonished her, but she supposed that the best of the Hoshidan soldiers would be the remainder. She and Jakob held back toward the rear so that the front attackers wouldn’t get rushed, but the battle took the better part of a few hours and by the end she was stressed out so much that she nearly killed Kagerou from letting her body flow into natural movements, though Charlotte held her back before she could do any permanent damage.

“Ninja… I believe we rescued you from Mokushu,” Niles purred carelessly and Kagerou remained silent.

“I would rather die for my liege than allow myself to be defeated here,” she murmured, but Selena shook her head.

“Our goal is to bring forth the dragon Anankos to defeat him. Defeating and destroying Hoshido is only his goal, and once we bring Garon to the throne room to lure it out, we’ll leave Hoshido in peace.”

Kagerou seemed unconvinced, so Nyx took a step forward. “We may need your help, especially with convincing your prince. We have left the prince and princesses alive for aid as well. Believe us when we say that Hoshido’s ruin is far from our goal.”

Kagerou looked once at Selena and she looked to the side, letting out a sigh. “Please, leave this castle with your prince and fellow retainer. Rebuild Hoshido in a future where Anankos is dead.”

“Anankos…” Kagerou narrowed her eyes once before looking to the sorcerer. “I’ve… I had heard prince Takumi and princess Azura both mentioning his name on occasion…” She dipped her head once. “If you have managed to leave both prince Takumi and Princess Hinoka alive, I believe your conviction, though do you have any possible proof?”

“Speak with Lady Kamui if you want proof,” Charlotte sighed and twirled her axe. “We haven’t killed you, have we? Why else would we leave you alive except to our benefit? We’ll need all the help we can get…”

Kagerou narrowed her eyes at Charlotte, but stood up, placing her weapons onto her person, and disappeared into the wall, a hidden passage, likely leading somewhere for easy escape, or maybe connection to Ryouma, Selena couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like the ninja and the prince would make a hard fight.

An explosion from the adjacent hall shook Selena’s feet beneath her and she could practically feel the integrity of the castle waver. Jakob steadied her with an equally shaken hand and looked to the front. Charlotte gripped her axe tighter and glanced back at her half of the vanguard. “Well come on! We don’t have all the time in the world!”

By the time Selena arrived at the opposite doorway, she was greeted by the sight of Ryouma kneeling, body slashed with various sword cuts and magic bristling on his red armor. She was only able to burn this sight into her memory for a few brief seconds before Garon’s forces smashed through the opposite doorway, breaking through its barrier, and the prince whipped his head around to stare at the new arrivals before grimacing at the royalty. “You damn liars! I’ll never bow to your underhanded tactics!” Jakob arrived at her side, surprise and fear burning on his face, just before Ryouma stood up, halting Iago, Hans, and Garon in their tracks, before backing to the left wall, holding the raijinto in his hands, blade sparkling with electricity.

“I’ll never… let myself… or the pure Hoshido… fall into traitorous Nohrian hands.” Selena breathed out a careful breath, watching in shock as, while Kamui reached out a shocked hand to her brother accompanied by a horrified scream, he ran his stomach through with the blade before performing a sharp cut sideways, sending blood spattering to the wall and ground before his body collapsed, sword sending out a short burst of energy before his heart stopped pumping.

The air immediately chilled and Kamui let out a strangled cry, clutching at her face, while Leo knelt next to her and Xander turned to his father to deal with the aftermath, quickly averting his eyes from the body. Selena looked quickly at Jakob as he stared wide-eyed at the body, a faint breath of ‘but Kagerou survived’ on the tip of his tongue.

Iago huffed once with victory as Garon stepped closer to view the body of his foe before ripping the katana out of his dead hands, knocking the armor off of his head. It clattered sharply to the ground and Selena took a step back as Camilla and Elise entered the enclosed room.

“Your majesty, it seems as if the Hoshidan throne is yours for the taking,” Iago purred as Hans shifted his axe, blood cleanly decorating the blade, and Garon gazed at the sword in his hands before throwing it to the side. No human would do that; clearly, Anankos was ready to stretch his wings. Selena stiffened and felt her spine prickle with the anticipation. From what Hoshidan soldiers murmured, it seemed as if Garon had cleanly slew all who opposed him. He would be a difficult foe to take down, especially as a possessed puppet of Anankos.

“And take it I shall,” he murmured once before stepping past Kamui, whispering something to her that only she and Leo could hear, and they both stiffened. Iago and Hans glanced at each other and, for a second, they almost seemed confused.

“Iago. Hans.” The named figures stood at attention before heading closer to Garon as he turned around, gaze reflecting on each person in the room.

“Your majesty?” Iago questioned quickly as Nohrian forces began flooding the room and Selena and Jakob both took steps back as Garon smiled.

“For too long, they’ve been working against the will of Nohr. Repeated violations will only threaten my rule.” He turned to gaze at the army, meeting no one’s eyes, and Selena slowly inhaled with sick anticipation. “Kill them all.” Garon disappeared to the throne room.

“What?!” Xander took a surprised step back as Elise let out a similar cry, prompting both Leo and Kamui to stand up sharply.

Iago and Hans smirked to each other and Selena wondered just how much they knew about Anankos. Not like it would matter, the two would be dead before she would be able to hear anything from them.

“Back into the larger room,” Nyx shouted at the remaining soldiers while Azura and Kaze, shaken up by something, hurried back to avoid the onslaught of Garon’s personal guard, or perhaps they were Iago and Hans’ troops? Selena couldn’t tell and she didn’t care, quickly pulling on Jakob’s arm before he could run to Kamui’s side and put himself in further danger.

They retreated as far as they could, weaving through various corridors,  while Xander and Camilla used some dragon veins to block the way, but Iago and Hans had too much for that, quickly decimating each blockade that the royals set down. Kamui turned to the group, watching as the healers and mages gathered in the back. Selena paused for a moment, feeling rather bare without her horse to provide tactical advantage, and the princess exhaled once. “We don’t have the advantage of the high ground, but we do have knowledge of the area. We’ll use that to rout our enemy.” She quickly split the group into two with Xander, Leo, and Elise on the left with her and Camilla on the right. Selena and Jakob would be with their princesses and would also keep up the back. “They have maids, they’ll have staves, so I want you to take care of them, Selena,” the princess spoke quickly and Selena nodded her head.

A few members shared words of wisdom and confidence with one another and Selena could see Peri, Laslow, and Odin discussing something on the side before they split up to their respective groups. Felicia hung near Peri’s side and gripped a freeze staff.

“We’re so close,” Jakob nearly whispered and Selena looked over at him with a brief expression of confusion before her face hardened and she nodded once.

“Soon, Nohr will be safe and Hoshido will be liberated from Anankos, along with the fate of the world…”

“That, and Hans’s death…” Jakob exhaled once and closed his eyes, worry and confliction mixing with determination on his face and Selena touched his shoulder once, giving him a confident smile.

“This reign of despair will end, along with Garon’s possession. If his life is spared, it’ll be all the better. Hans and Iago are the ones who will pay for this deception and misery… Lady Kamui deserves that much.” She dipped her head once to support her words with action and he glanced at her for a few short seconds before he nodded as well.

“Though it worries me that the end will be bittersweet, at least it is ending.”

She couldn’t help but agree, but as soon as the feeling faded they were gearing up for battle and she was taking hold of her bow as Jakob grabbed his second sword, following Peri, and Kamui opened the doors, allowing the army to breach the first room. The royals made short work of the first group of soldiers and Selena figured that Iago and Hans had taken up more defensive positions, probably knowing (somehow) that the vanguard would have no other way to go but through them. Effie and Arthur took a dual pair of heroes while Felicia and Peri finished off a paladin.

She and Jakob hardly fought, Selena mostly provided backup with her bow, but eventually the time came where the army needed to split up and defeat the enemy. Kamui had mentioned that, though this was Garon’s personal guard of sorts, some of them would likely be wavering, so sparing those who seemed reluctant to fight would be the best. Selena once again didn’t know how possible that would be, but she was all for recruiting additional soldiers for the last fight. Camilla smashed open the doors leading through their corridor and the first half of their group followed quickly behind.

The first maid fell to Peri’s might and Selena and Jakob rushed forward to the front to take on a few mages while Camilla fell to the back to provide more support for some backup. Beruka finished off the sorcerer before Nyx could do so, but the sorcerer merely nodded her head and headed forward with Felicia.

Selena wouldn’t call it chaotic, not entirely, and the absence of words allowed her to revel in the fact that their army was that tightly knit and could respond to someone’s needs on just a whim, a hint. Jakob ducked forward before a sorcerer could hit her and she sent an arrow in the general direction before Camilla raced forward again, boosted by Beruka and Benny.

She felt a tingling sensation race across her skin, realizing that a staff user had targeted her princess with a silencing spell. It didn’t hurt Camilla that much and she merely used her axe against one of the mages while Peri finished off the second.

“Selena, Jakob, hold back and check the chest while we go up front,” Kamui whispered quickly, voice weak due to her focus, and Selena nodded as Jakob finished off another maid. She held back watching as the maid sat up against the wall, energy gone, and Jakob handed her a concoction. She walked over slowly and eventually tripped the lock on the chest, springing it open to reveal a venge naginata that she tossed to Jakob.

“I guess we can give it to Peri,” Selena sighed, but she figured that it would have been better used before. The paladin was far away by now, but at least, since no one had their proper mounts, distance was negligible.

They headed through the now empty room and ducked around the corridor. Selena paused for a second, not hearing any noises, and figured that they had taken up enough time that the army had pulled even further ahead around the few next rooms (ones they had doubled back from since Nyx saw that they also led to a dead end), though the large room that they had paused in front of would provide a great center for Iago’s troops.

She stepped forward, certain that they wouldn’t be ambushed, and looked around the room. Some bodies lie on the ground, thought it didn’t seem like a great scuffle had occurred. She couldn’t remember if this was the room where the corridors met up with, but it seemed likely that the sides hadn’t met up yet.

The air was thick with tension and Selena gripped her bow while Jakob followed her closely behind, sword ready in his hand.

It was quite, altogether too quiet, and Selena felt herself choke on the anticipation. She couldn’t sense any maids around, but there was _something_ in this room. She looked around, seeing if she could spot hidden corridors like the ones in Castle Krakenburg.

She could hear Jakob similarly breathing heavily, not from strain of battle, and tensed, looking out the window for an assassin or something similar. She hadn’t been attacked from any strange technique in the future past, risen were far too stupid for that, but she had attacked enough humans to know what to look for.

The step of a foot barely registered in her ear before Jakob turned, pushing her back a few paces, and took an axe blow straight to his sword, the clash of metal ringing in her ears painfully as she recovered quickly enough to notice that their new adversary was none other than Hans, wielding a new axe that brimmed with power and malice.

“Heh. I should have known that you two would make it here,” he grinned with something that looked akin to delight and Jakob grimaced, blocking another blow while Selena readied an arrow that Hans deftly dodged. “I’ve been waiting to set you two in your places.” He stepped back as Jakob massaged his arm and glanced at the two of them with narrowed, darkened eyes. Selena’s spine straightened and she gripped her bow uncomfortably. “The retainer with too much devotion to his liege and not enough to the country.” Hans looked toward her next and she snarled. “And the retainer with no past and no loyalties.” He huffed and straightened his axe for another blow. “You’re treason waiting to happen! And now King Garon has finally given me the command to end you. I’ll finish you painfully just like that wretch of a rebellion leader!”

Jakob and Selena both stiffened at that, but instead of shying backwards, Jakob cried out with anger and blocked the axe blow, sending the weapon harshly into the wood floor, and sliced upwards, sending Hans’s blood shattering to the ground. Selena send an arrow similarly to his shoulder, though only slicing his skin open instead of providing a more permanent wound.

Hans barely seemed to react and counterattacked quickly, slicing Jakob’s left thigh open before hitting his stomach with the hilt of the weapon. Jakob stepped back a few feet with a grimace, grasping at his wound before Selena aimed an arrow at Hans’s chest, exposed. Unfortunately, he seemed to expect this and quickly blocked the arrow.

“You’ve become _weak,_ pitiful retainer,” Hans spit out before taking a step forward as Selena and Jakob took a similar one back. She inhaled sharply, looking between her love and her enemy before narrowing her eyes. “Where is that spunk you showed back at the rebellion? You were the one who ended that battle, not me. Where is your lust for blood, your power, your smite?” Hans swung his axe at Jakob again, who only barely managed to block it and send it to the ground before the axeman removed a dagger from his armor, slicing Jakob’s arm.

Selena jumped back before he could throw said dagger to her, feeling yet another snarl of anger make its way onto her face. “That died out of me like Garon’s sanity has left him,” she countered quickly before she shouldered one of her stronger arrows, aiming one at his thigh. “My weakness is not defined by a lack of bloodlust, nor by a lack of anger and revenge! It’s defined by my will to make this world a better place and save it!”

“You will save it by dying like the weakling you are,” Hans screamed out, dodging the arrow yet again, and sent another blow to Jakob’s stomach. It seemed to be a shallow cut, but it worried Selena all the more.

“And you!” Hans finally directed his attention at the hero, and Jakob stepped back, weakening with his wounds and worry. The axeman snarled and Selena figured he didn’t feel like playing around with Jakob as much. “I remember you from the castle, you whelp of a boy! They should have trashed you when they had the chance. I’m surprised you’ve been kept around this long. You didn’t even have the determination to end things like your fellow retainer here. What gall!” Jakob quickly blocked another axe blow with a grunt and he and Selena stepped back again. She didn’t know how close to the wall they had gotten, but they needed to reorient fast.

“Your ignorance blinds you,” Jakob breathed out, weakening, and he leaned on his sword as Hans took a step back to dodge one of Selena’s arrows. “Your stupidity has only hindered Iago and Garon, and they’ll die as a result. How does that make you feel, bastard?”

“I don’t care about that stupid mage,” Hans spat out, “but King Garon will reward me deeply for defending this country and completing Hoshido’s conquest. Only one step to go,” he added snidely, and Selena’s spine bristled with nerves. “I’ve been toying with you much too long,” he exhaled, and shouldered his axe again, sending Jakob to the ground with one well-placed swing. Jakob grunted as he hit the ground, new wound decorating his side, and Selena raced to the side, aiming for Hans’s unguarded side. Though the arrow only scratched his stomach, he reacted to that blow and knelt to the ground, his shoulder wound finally affecting him.

Instead of him turning on her, like she had hoped, he instead gripped Jakob into a forefull hold, aiming the axe at his neck threateningly as he glared at Selena, annoyance shining over his face. “Face me like a soldier!” His voice rung in her ears painfully and she paused, the arrow free from the bow, and narrowed her eyes at him. “You coward!!!”

As it was now, Jakob would likely die if she agitated him further. Her sword skills were better than his at least, but she wouldn’t have the confidence of backup, and her armor wasn’t suited for hand-to-hand combat either.

Her father’s words echoed in her ears, something about making the best of every situation, using the sword as an extension of herself. Something more about emotions. She closed her eyes, calming herself, and slowly slid the bow across her back, setting the arrow in its quiver. Hans seemed to smirk as she slowly withdrew her steel sword, swinging it in an arc as she stepped into her typical foot position as taught by her father.

She nearly lost her confidence as she met Jakob’s gaze, one that told her he would rather sacrifice himself than have her defeated and killed in battle, but surely he would know that she was the same, and he eventually looked down, allowing his body to become loose. Hans didn’t seem to notice, but he tossed the hero aside all the same, and Jakob came down hard on his leg.

Selena shot forward, her sword cutting silently through the air, her voice caught in her throat, and she slashed downward, anticipating the block that came next, before turning quickly and aimed a slice to Hans’s leg, drawing a fair amount of blood while he countered with an attack to her side. She stepped back, only receiving a light wound, and stabbed forward, causing him to block again before she swiped at his legs again. He grunted with the effort and paused as she quickly sped around him, slashing upwards across his back, cutting away some armor, and he yelled with the pain before turning around himself, but she was already gone.

Though she hadn’t practiced her father’s techniques in a few years, not fully, she fell into them like second nature, sending a myriad of blows across Hans’s body while dancing away from the edge of his own blade, annoying the axeman even further.

“Damn… you!”

She must have been more exhausted than she thought, and Hans managed to catch a blow to her chest, scarring her armor and drawing some blood, and she gasped, ducking back to place a hand to the wound. Hans, however, was much worse for wear, and he glared at her as he leaned on his weapon.

“You… you… bitch…”

Selena never felt very affected by swears; she used them often enough herself and they were mere words. In this moment all she could do was laugh hysterically at his attempted use for anger and let her sword scrape against the wood ground. “Is that all you have, Hans? I expected a fight, not a curbstomp! Where’s your previous gusto, your murderous intent, your need for death?”

“Guh!” He shouldered his axe again and took a tender step forward, to which Selena stepped back, watching Jakob ready his sword and dagger.

“You’ve become _weak,_ pitiful follower,” Selena spat out before she took a warning step back as Jakob plunged his dagger into Hans’s back, unfortunately too high up and near the shoulder to kill him, but Hans screamed with a combination of fury and pain. He turned around, messing up Jakob’s balance, and swung his axe sharply down, slicing his eye open. Jakob in turn reacted with pain, stepping back as he placed his hand over his wound, nearly curling in on himself.

Hans turned back to Selena as she took rapid steps forward, sending a rain of clanging blows to his weapon again, tripping him up, knocking him to his back, and he stared up at the retainer, breathing with the effort to not cringe from the hole in his shoulder. “Hah… if you kill me… you’ll be just like those you seem determined to end… You’ll be just as inhuman as King Garon…”

“Pitiful,” Selena spat out, face darkened and devoid of emotion as she raised her sword up to a killing blow. “I’m not the inhuman one. You are.” She stabbed downward and it was finished.

There certainly were no more enemies lying in wait, no one would have expected Hans to fall, so Selena let her sword hit the ground as she arrived at Jakob’s side, carefully removing his hand from his face to assess the damage even though that seemed the last thing he wanted to do. “Your eye…”

“It’s… nothing…” He forced out through gritted teeth and winced as Selena tried to assess the damage on his thigh. “Hans is dead… Losing my sight is well worth it…”

“You won’t lose your sight, not if we get a healer here,” Selena argued back before she leaned back on her legs and stood up, leaving her bloodied sword on the ground. “I’ll get Felicia, she should be near the back of the group.” Jakob nodded and exhaled sharply, a breath of relief that calmed Selena down slightly. If he had managed to become more relaxed even though injured, that was worth the entire fight.

 She managed to get Felicia soon enough and the maid decided to bring her sister as well after Selena mentioned his eye had been damaged. Though both sisters fussed about him for a few minutes, he didn’t seem too annoyed by the situation and Selena let herself smile for a bit before Flora turned to her, staff’s power dimming after use. “What happened…? I didn’t see Hans here when we passed through…”

Selena opened her mouth to answer, but Jakob spoke first. “He was likely waiting for us. He’s always had a personal vendetta toward us after the rebellion in Cheve didn’t go as he had planned. We likely helped some of the members keep their wits about them, so he was able to liken that to a need to aid Garon.” He shrugged as Felicia tilted her head. “If there was a bigger reason that he should kill us, he would reach for that.”

“Seems that ended poorly for him,” Flora commented softly while Selena nodded her head.

“He had his end coming.”

After a few more minutes of close healing, Felicia dipped her head and stood up. “I couldn’t stop it from scarring, but you can still see, right?”

“Well enough,” Jakob sighed before reaching his hand outwards, testing his vision. “Is the eye itself scarred?”

“No, but your face…”

“That’s fine.” He looked toward Selena and she shrugged, indifferent.

“Do you want me to say that it makes you look attractive or something?” She deadpanned and Jakob smirked, holding a laugh.

“That wouldn’t be unwanted.”

Flora exhaled as Felicia gave her sister a worried glance. “I hope Kamui’s doing ok…” Flora shrugged at that and responded that Iago would die quickly, if he hadn’t already.

“I suppose King Garon will be next,” Jakob sighed and the mood dropped a few degrees before Selena touched the hilt of her sword, sheathed soundly.

“I’m not worried about him… I’m worried about what’s become of him…”

Her worries seemed to be confirmed; after meeting up with the rest of the army, the group arrived at the front of the throne room and tensions couldn’t be higher. Kamui turned to face them, face worried and hurt, but determined. “Once Garon is defeated, Anankos will likely come forth. We’ve healed up all we can, so all we have to wait for is the hope that Takumi, Hinoka, and maybe Sakura will arrive, along with any others.” She looked down, face becoming slightly downcast. “It’s unlikely that they’ll have had the time to gather anyone else, but at least they know what will be coming.” She inhaled sharply and looked up again. “I’m proud to have fought with everyone here. I wouldn’t have traded any of you away in a second. You’ve become like a family to me, someone without blood relations, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. As a result of that, please, do your best to survive.”

“However, if sacrificing yourself would kill the dragon, you should take that option,” Leo added quickly, much to Kamui’s chagrin. He shrugged and looked to the group again. “Using Brynhildr’s magic to an extreme will certainly wear away at my body, but if it is to defeat a world threat, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I suppose there’s nothing to it,” Charlotte sighed while hoisting Hans’s axe on her shoulder. “If we don’t die and the dragon lives, it’ll just kill us anyway. I’d prefer to at least leave someone behind who remembers me if I were to die.” Xander sighed at that, but agreed with her sentiment.

“Whatever happens past these doors will be recorded into history,” the crown prince stated with plain words. He slowly looked up at the group and Selena could see the years wearing lines to his face. “Father’s possession will be explained, Nohr will recover from the years of famine and poverty, and Hoshido will be restored once again as an apt ally. Nestra will be allowed free reign, the ice tribe will be released from their bounds, Izumo will prosper as its own nation, and everywhere else will enjoy the freedom granted from Anankos’s death. This is the justice that dragon of death deserves, and that is the justice it will get.”

Selena exhaled slowly and Jakob clasped her hand in his as a show of comfort as Kamui dipped her head and turned toward the hulking doors of the throne room.

They swung open with a hint of some noise and the army quickly stepped forth, awaiting the attack of the dead king. Selena watched as the royals headed forth, the throne in eye’s sight.

Selena could see Garon sitting in the throne; however, he seemed dead to the world and unresponsive. Leo and Xander stepped forth, asking their father a few questions, though he seemed receptive to none.

“My sons…” Selena paused as the words echoed around the room and Elise jumped back, startled. “I am… sorry… My daughters… please forgive me…”

Kamui gasped and stepped back as his body faded into shadows and water, dark magic leaking forth from the throne and the room faded around Selena’s feet. It seemed as if the throne room expanded, stretching, and shadows of night skies flickered around the walls, illuminated with stars. Xander and Leo stepped back as Kamui shouted a war cry, a warning for the army to prepare their weapons.

Anankos burst forth from the throne in all of its eldritch glory and screamed a roar that would shatter the best of the Nohrian citadel windows. Its wings extended forth, stretching the space further so that it could fit comfortably and Selena balked at the size. Though not quite the size of a city, like Grima, it seemed the height of the entire Shirasagi castle and she grimaced at the behemoth that stood before their pitifully small army. She took a step backward as it sent out a second roar, full of anger and vengeance and… insanity. Eyes protruded from its mouth and its wings send ripples of night sky across the room. “ _You aLL will faDE to noTHIngness jUSt like yOUr pitiFUl king. This wORLd is MINE.”_

Selena exhaled and drew her sword as Kamui took a step back with the royals, gripping her dragonstone in her hand. The princess cried forth to her father, anger and passion conveyed in her voice. “You will not have my people, nor this world I hold dear! Prepare to pay for the misdeeds untold you have forced upon this world! Fall to your watery grave and die!”

Selena closed her eyes as Odin and Laslow looked toward her. Once again, the fate of the world would be within their hands. She opened her eyes and became determined.

She would save this world, no matter the cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the subplot with Hans has been resolved... This actually came out better than I had expected, so I'm proud of it. I think I've gotten a lot better at writing swordfighting scenes, I can actually imagine it in my head when I read through it.   
> I really wanted to get this chapter pumped out, so I buckled down and wrote it yesterday. When I should have been doing my homework.... lol essays are hard.   
> I had gotten into gear with the original version of this story, but now I've swapped back to the fanfiction mindset. I ended up doing a lot of reworking with the setting and I think I've finally settled on a premise. Maybe I'll publish it on royal road legends? Who knows. The only thing I know is that Keaton is out. Though after watching a lets play of the birthright chapter, I ended up liking him a bit more. Kaden is unfortunately not treated as well in his enemy chapter lol.  
> This was originally going to be two chapters, but Ryouma ended up not giving me as much inspiration as I thought. I have a oneshot idea for Kaze and Azura about this though, so maybe look forward to that? This is why I've lowered the overall chapter count again. Next chapter will probably be long though. I hope so. I don't know specifically what's going to happen other than a few key moments, but I'd like it to be at least the length of this chapter, just because it's so important. I don't want to break the limited third person of this story, but maybe I could include other perspectives since it's so important? Idk yet. I'm just looking forward to finishing this darn thing. I assume the chapters following this one will be longer just because they'll hold so much weight.   
> Anyway, thanks for (still) sticking around! Happy reading~


	24. Sing with Me One Last Time of Light's Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to use the verse from Heirs of Fate for the title since apparently this one is stronger. Idk. I could use either this verse or Revelations.  
> Anyway, I've had this chapter done for a bit, but I wanted to get ahead, so I put it off. It ended up being shorter than I wanted, and I struggled to get it to 6k words, but it's also just one scene so it's fitting I guess.  
> We're so close!

Anankos left only a few brief moments of pressure hanging in the room before it gave a second roar and smashed the throne in front of it to shattering pieces, reflecting starlight and darkness in the shards before they collapsed and disappeared from the warped space. White rings of magic spread forth thinly before they disappeared into the thickening air and Elise flinched at the action while Niles and Selena both aimed their arrows. Leo readied a spell, a curse on his breath, but Kamui merely waved her hand outwards to the right, starting their primary plan of attack. “Azura!” She looked at the songstress with desperation and fear and Selena felt her spine stiffen.

“Right!” The songstress dipped her head with determination and quickly took a few steps forward before she clasped her hands in front of her chest, causing the pendant to glow with a clean, blue light. The army split into their positions, Beruka and Camilla gathering their wyverns from the nearby window before it completely faded into the dispositioned space while Felicia and Flora followed Peri to the back of the room, avoiding a crushing stomp from the dragon’s leg, and Peri screamed murder at it. Elise and Xander ducked to the left while Benny and Keaton headed to the right, other members splitting around the dragon in a ring, tight enough to keep a barrage of attacks, but loose enough to avoid being an easy target. Selena took a step back, keeping near the front as Azura’s song quickly started up, and met careful gazes with Jakob as he stood next to Effie and Arthur, sword drawn and worry on his face, but he nodded slowly at her, assuring her that he would do his utmost best to stay alive for her sake. She turned back to watch the dragon visibly weaken and her mind flew back to the time she, Laslow, and Odin had been brought to Nohr, Anankos’s human voice ringing in her ears, and she closed her eyes as the song washed over her ears.

. . .

_“Lilith!” Anankos stepped back in horror as the manakete in front of him laughed with an expression of murder on her face. She screamed back something with pure anger that Selena didn’t care enough to catch and she watched in horror as shadowy monsters climbed up from the edges of the floating islands before they made their way toward the Ylisseans. He turned to the group and shouted that they must make it to Nohr before things got worse._

_“Wait, I thought your daughter was in Hoshido?” Selena questioned with incredulousness as Anankos turned from the manakete standing in front of him. Odin and Laslow took a step back as Lilith laughed again, anger in her voice._

_“How little you know, stupid piece! Your isolation has hurt you! She’s been in Nohr for near two decades!”_

_“Quick! It was a mistake to bring you here!” Anankos swept his arm out to the right after he watched the enemies quickly multiply with gusto and Selena took a step back as Odin shouted at an enemy. “Quickly, use the orbs and return to your world before you fall!” His voice contained the desperation of a pleading father, but she bit her lip in defiance._

_“Ha! No damn zombie is gonna take me out, not today!” Selena slashed through the midsection of one of the hidden warriors and it vanished into smoke. She turned to the incredulous dragon and swung her sword with a loose hand, smirk on her face. “What, did you think we couldn’t handle this challenge? Go and save your own skin. We have a fight to deal with.”_

_Laslow and Odin seemed to think the same and they smiled as well, despite being in the face of danger once again, so soon after recovery. “Yea, she’s right. We’re strong warriors, you picked us for a reason right? We won’t fall so easily!”_

_Anankos dipped his head slowly, mouth hardened to a line with worry as his hood covered his eyes, concealing his inner thoughts. “Please… Please be safe…”_

_“We have a mission to do, right?” Selena argued back before falling into line near Laslow before she smiled again, hair tugging in the sudden wind. “Falling here is unacceptable.”_

_. . ._

She blinked the memories away with a shiver; this version of Anankos certainly seemed the fighter and she quickly prayed to that dead spirit of his that they would finish his quest, no matter the cost or trial. She shot an arrow with a grimace, hoping the two seconds Azura’s song had carried would be enough to weaken him enough for a wound, and it lodged in a scale.

It roared again, a pained cry that signaled the start of the song’s magic working into his body, and she saw a jagged eye hone in on Azura’s location with creepy accuracy that made Selena freeze. She breathed in once shakily and took a step forward as Anankos did, the dragon’s claw raised in the air as its foot left the ground with a shudder. Her mouth opened to warn the songstress of the imminent danger her location provided.

“Azura!” Kaze’s voice rang out like an alarm and Selena jerked, losing her concentration as he dashed from his position to the far left, arriving to hers in a matter of seconds despite the strange, warping matter around them making the floor seem awkwardly placed. Leave it to a ninja to keep his balance in any situation, Selena figured, but she stiffened as Anankos roared with anger, honing in on his enemy.

Kamui screamed as Anankos’s claw pierced its way through both bodies, breaching chests and hearts instantaneously, and they hung silently in the air like ghosts, as sheets would in a silent breeze, before the dragon threw them tumbling away like garbage, shifting its wings as it tried in vain to shake off the beginning verses as they bore into his heart, stiffening his limbs.

Selena choked on her breath with wide eyes as she watched Azura’s hair shift and settle one final time around her back, blood falling onto the floor and mingling with Kaze’s own, both bodies still as brick, and she slowly turned back to the dragon, fear finally pulling at her veins as her heartbeat doubled and eyes widened. Without Azura’s power, without her spell, the fight would be that much harder and that much riskier…

Not to mention she and the songstress had been… friends, perhaps. Allies. Confidants. Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes as she knocked an arrow and screamed, aiming at one of his eyes, finding a solid mark, and Anankos roared in turn before Camilla yelled with her special anger and sent an angry slash of red across his back, her wyvern joining in on the rally cry as its claws dug into Anankos’s spine.

Xander said something, but Selena couldn’t really catch it, not as far as she was, and she stepped back as the ground shifted beneath her, throwing her onto her side before she could completely catch her balance. Her shoulder hit painfully and she cried out before slapping her hand on the ground to gain balance before grabbing her fallen bow. She looked up as footsteps drew near her with urgency and Niles grabbed her hand and picked her up. She caught the glance of pain and sadness in his eye before he nodded and turned back, aiming his shining bow at one of Anankos’s wounds, magic crackling in the air around him.

It seemed surreal and she narrowed her eyes in confusion. Selena had seen soldiers die in front of her of course, she had fought in a losing war, but none that she had known personally, no friends, no allies she would give her life to protecting, trusting.

She hadn’t even known either of them very long, not like everyone else, and already she could feel shock clouding her limbs as she aimed another arrow where Leo had sent a crawling branch of thorns, opening skin. Xander’s blade shore off several scales. Camilla (no, Garon’s) axe ripped a hole in its wing, pitifully small, but still painful. Elise boosted Kamui’s watery attack with magic of her own, tears streaming down her face as her staff glowed with power.

Selena gulped painfully, heart clenching with shock before she exhaled slowly, breathing in just as carefully again. Beruka deftly dodged a stream of smoky purple from the dragon’s mouth/heart/eyes as her wyvern twirled in the air with flapping wings, Charlotte fell to a sudden crack in the ground as starlight streamed forth, Effie took a blow to the chest and fell to the ground with a solid crunch.

If they lost here, the world would die. Thus, they couldn’t lose. They physically, mentally couldn’t lose. Selena repeated these words in her head a few times, holding tight to the image of Naga and the glowing portal sending them into the past for salvation, and took a few steps forward to get a better shot to his eyes once more, fingers curling around the bowstring like second nature.

The ground soldiers didn’t seem to be making much leeway on the dragon’s legs if the general lack of wounds were any judge, but she didn’t expect too much from that end. At least Camilla and Beruka were making quick work of his wings, but she could thank Garon’s axe for that instead of Anankos’s weakness. Nyx, Odin, and Leo hadn’t been able to make much progress with his chest either, but at least she and Niles could physically blind him and protect their allies from unnecessary pain.

Camilla skidded to a halt on Anankos’s back, turning in her saddle as she scoped out the ground below her from the high vantage point and Selena paused and stared at her before she took to the skies again, brandishing her axe as a warning. “Shadows! Watch the ground! He has reinforcements!”

Selena jerked again and shot her eyes toward the center of the room where the broken throne had disappeared and watched as smoke peeled off from Anankos’s body and formed into humanoid figures that quickly began attacking the nearest foot soldiers, mainly Effie and Arthur. She watched as Niles jumped forward to begin healing them while Mozu and Jakob started attacking the nearest offenders with wide slashes and erratic movements.

She herself readied her bow and began attacking those in her range before the battle could become too hectic. Eventually the battle began fanning out and she unsheathed her sword before falling into position near Niles again, protecting him as he healed while she slaughtered any enemies that dared draw too close to her blade.

Niles smirked at her despite his evident exhaustion and he drew the bowstring back before sending a blade of magic at an enemy about to hit Selena’s weak spot. “Having too much fun you can’t concentrate, darling?”

Selena snorted, but smiled all the same despite her own dwindeling energy. “How about you focus on your own enemies, huh?” She retaliated back with a slash to his left, tripping up a swordmaster so that Niles could finish him off without injury.

“Why focus on my own when it’s so much more fun to do things together?” He purred before withdrawing a stronger bow to hit a mage. “Besides, you’ll always need my help. How else do you think you won’t just drop dead?”

Selena sighed but finished off the mage with a twirl. “Easily. I won’t get hit.”

He smirked again, but eventually headed over to Effie and Arthur’s side to aide them, and Selena moved more toward the left, slashing enemies that had been weakened by a ranged attack or other.

Eventually her dance brought her to Laslow’s side and he smirked, tired, as she drew closer, leaning on his sword for just a second. “Hah… Just like old times, huh…?” While fighting Grima, Robin had decided that the two sword users would best be on the front lines then too and they fell into natural footwork honed just for that battle.

Selena smirked, eyes sad, and pressed her back up against his to cover weakness while he gathered his breath for two brief seconds. “Just like old times. And once again we’ll beat our enemy senseless.”

“No old fashioned sealing to be done here, huh,” Laslow mused before he pulled away, leaving Selena’s back cold, and jabbed at an enemy while she fended one off from her right before slashing upwards to another shadow, stabbing forth as Laslow took a step back as a dodge before performing the action himself.

She could feel a slight boost of power and, after finishing her last threat, fell in at Laslow’s side to aid him with his three enemies. He seemed tired, weakened, and she wondered how close he had gotten to other enemies, maybe even his own death. She shoved those thoughts out of her mind and finished off one more enemy, Leo’s magic exploding into existence at Anankos’s stomach near them as they cowered, arms over their eyes.

She heard a yell of pain near her and watched as Silas shielded his stomach as Nyx quickly covered him from another enemy’s blow before calling over Niles with a wave of her hand.

“I don’t know how much we can hold out longer without being able to gain an advantage,” Laslow panted next to her, holding his sword weakly, and she couldn’t help but agree. “He hasn’t seemed to waver at all, yet we’re becoming exhausted fighting enemy after enemy…”

“At least there has to be an end some time,” Selena rationalized quickly as Laslow looked to her with confusion and slight helplessness and she shrugged, breathing heavily from her strain. “We just have to out-last Anankos… That shouldn’t be too hard… We’re already living on borrowed time, may as well take some more.”

He sighed out with a slight smile, but quickly turned to another enemy before her words could take permanent effect and she dashed in hot pursuit.

Minutes eventually turned to tens of minutes and Selena could feel the rips in her clothes and armor, even if her skin had been healed by Niles, and breathed out as she took a step away from Anankos as a particularly nasty cloud of purple emanated from the core. It piled over the floor before lifting up, forming a humanoid shape wielding what seemed to be a large axe.

Her eyes widened at the formed image of King Garon in front of her, and Xander and Camilla gave cries of surprise and pain as the dead king stepped forward, slow and painfully. She didn’t know if she should run in there and challenge him (better her than Camilla), but Leo and Odin dashed forth, magic crackling through the air, and Beruka readied a javelin.

Selena paused at the thought, sword parallel to the ground. If Anankos could use Garon’s body, then who else’s could he? She looked around her at the soldiers, fighting in a distinct Hoshidan way, and grimaced at the thought, wondering if they were the soldiers they were unable to save or ones Hans and Iago had slaughtered. Two more shadows burst forth from the cloud and Kamui gave a cry of pain and recognition, screaming forth in her draconic form to match the two new enemies while Gunter supported her from behind.

Selena felt so tired, so tired, she could drop now if she wasn’t in a battle and her sword clinked under her leaning weight. The concept of time even seemed to escape her and she couldn’t be bothered to retch from the images of the dead king and queen of Hoshido, not even the scent of Azura and Kaze’s blood drifting in the distorted world. She almost felt dizzy for a second and the stars whirling around the space caused her no end to her discomfort.

Was Anankos causing this, or was her body merely remembering and confusing the events from Ylisse and Grima’s defeat? She didn’t care enough to figure it out and merely fought off a few more enemies while Laslow shoved away another shadowy essence.

“S… Severa… My body feels heavy…”

“I don’t know what’s wrong…” Selena panted and shifted her position, sword scraping across the ground with heavy effort. “Maybe it has something to do with that dragon’s blood… Elise and Xander seem weakened too…” She looked up as Camilla’s wyvern stuttered for a second, wings clipping the air as Camilla struggled to concentrate and control her steed.

Odin stumbled from Garon’s axe swing while Leo blocked the blow, armor chipping off and sending scattered light across the smoky air. Selena winced with sympathy as she watched, but as soon as Kamui and Gunter destroyed the image of the Hoshidan king, sending him to smoke, she felt some energy return. Laslow seemed to recover all the same and they finished off the enemies surrounding them before their energy could be taken again.

“Archers! Watch your backs!” Niles shouted from the left, urgency in his tone while he readied an arrow, and Selena and Laslow turned their heads quickly as Anankos sent more enemies flooding forth from the shadowed hell.

“He must be losing energy,” Laslow figured with pain laced in his voice and Selena figured she should agree. “His wounds are accumulating… I hope we’re finally making it…”

“What… What did we do to weaken Grima again?” Selena asked quickly, slicing down a ninja with a heavy breath before turning back to finish her question. “Kill his human form?”

“ _We_ fought the grimleal bodies,” Laslow reconciled quickly with his own attack, “which is much like what we’re doing right now… Kamui is the one of us with the best shot, so we need to make sure we clear her flanks…”

She didn’t know how well that would work out; Kamui certainly had to be tiring as well, and she was also the weakest link of the army; her experience was completely limited to the current war while even the royal siblings had combat experience elsewhere. She could only hope that the princess would be able to strike true when the opportunity finally presented itself.

Selena stiffened as a scream ripped forth from the sky and she watched as both Beruka and Camilla collapsed onto Anankos’s back, wyvern wings spinning uselessly, before they crumpled to the ground, one wyvern and rider on either side. Camilla’s body collapsed nearer his stomach and her wyvern slid further back, still and calm. Selena’s heart leapt into her throat and she dashed forward as surrounding enemies turned their attention toward the injured princess.

Her sword found purchase in multiple bodies as she raced over and Nyx’s magic supported her for a few seconds as she crossed the edge of her range before she leapt over the wyvern’s tail, jumping in front of Camilla. She slashed the chest of a swordmaster, sending him to dust, before turning to finish a sniper with urgency and protection at the root of her actions. She stepped some feet to the left to end further shadow forms and ducked under a sword slice before she ended the wielder.

Her hair whipped around her head as she turned back to the front, watching as a lancer raced forward, aiming for a now unguarded Camilla. Selena wouldn’t be able to make it for a secure block. Her arm was in no way fast enough and her armor was too chipped to take a solid blow, not now. But Camilla was exactly the same and, as it stood, so much more valuable than her. She dashed forward, sword held behind her back, and as each step reverberated through her legs she felt her lungs burst with pain, dead seat on protecting her princess. Her eyelids flickered as she thought for just a second of Jakob’s tireless sacrifice.

The lancer seemed barely a foot away from her as she stepped into range, spreading her arms out to provide even more of a shield, and slid slightly as she ceased movement before she took a deep breath, staring her opponent starkly in the face, despite being unable to find eyes.

She watched as Jakob screamed her name, her true name, out of the corner of her eye, but she figured he would do the same for Kamui (they would both have to), and she closed her eyes to avoid a distressing image, face contorting to a grimace as she expected the rush of silence.

She opened them quickly as her feet lost purchase on the ground. The spear flew over her head and widened eyes, just where her stomach had been few moments before, and the clang of metal and following sound of flesh being pierced rang like an alarm in her ears. She leaned on her left arm, heart already beating erratically, before she sliced upwards with her sword, cleaving the spearmaster into two, sending them to the abyss along with their weapon. She flipped quickly onto her knees, sword on the ground, as she watched Camilla fall onto her back, chest opened, blood slipping from her armor, and Selena felt her arms stiffen with shock and horror as her mouth dropped open.

She scrambled to her feet and slid over, short distance quickly covered, and arrived at Camilla’s side, propping her head up with her hand as she assessed the damage. The princess coughed once and Selena concluded she had but minutes to live. She exhaled quickly, tears coming to her eyes as she shifted her position to make Camilla more comfortable despite the desperate situation. “C…Camilla… why… why would you-?”

Camilla clasped her hand quickly, small smile on her face despite the pain evident in her eyes as her brows frowned with discomfort. “You… have so much life ahead of you…” She coughed once as Selena lifted her head up slightly, blood running down the side of her mouth, and she squinted her eyes shut in an effort to dull her pain. “I’m… I’ve gone through enough… If I lost you like this… I would be even more… a failure…” She frowned slightly, voice becoming quiet as she opened her eyes again and met her retainer’s saddened gaze. “I’ve lived enough of a life… But yours is only just starting… Please…” The grip on Selena’s hand loosened slightly and Selena lifted it up, tears caressing her cheeks. “Live it… At least for me…” She smiled and reached her other hand up slightly, rubbing away a few of the tears. “Live… for those… you love…” Selena gripped her hand, eyes widening as her princess’s stilled and her body became still, dead weight.

Selena’s breath caught in her throat and she bit her tongue as more tears flowed down her cheeks, sparks of pain rippling across her spine. She dipped her head in a respectful bow, trying her best to avoid crying out with anguish. “Camilla… Why…?”

Anankos roared out as an explosion rang from the sky, joined with Kamui’s cry of anger, and Selena looked up sharply. She likely hadn’t seen Camilla’s death, not from her angle, but she would have seen the fall of both wyverns. Leo, however, had seen the drastic end, judging from his scream of anger and a burst of magic that reverberated with raw energy, causing Selena’s skin to prickle, and the dragon cried out with pain, something she hadn’t yet heard.

Jakob arrived at her side in a few quick moments with Flora in tow, but Selena shook her head before she lay down Camilla’s body and stood up, looking at the axe for a beat. Jakob exhaled slowly and she could feel the guilt flowing off of his body. “No…”

She looked up for one second and winced as he touched her arm quickly before leaving Flora to deal with proper healing, joining Peri on another tirade.

“The princess… No…” Flora exhaled, gripping her staff while Selena waved her away.

“We… We need to press on…” She wiped away her tears while adjusting her grip on her sword, shooting Flora a look of defiance. “Anankos is falling, we need to hold on… No matter… No matter the others we lose,” she breathed out, and the maid nodded once.

“Please just protect yourself the best you can, ok?” She turned before halting, and looked over her shoulder as if a second thought. “Beruka’s ok. I’ll get her the axe.”

Selena nodded her head once, slipping back to Laslow’s side before he could get sliced by another hero. He breathed heavily next to her and was likely aware of the situation, as he quickly asked if she was ok before turning back to his mission.

“Puny huMANS…” Anankos roared once with pain as Xander sliced his chest after finishing his quick statement. Xander took a nervous step back as the dragon raised its wings and roared, shaking the space around the army, and Selena snapped her head up to look, startled. “you… wILl… FALL…”

The dragon screamed once as a blade of white sliced through his wing, gouging a rim of seared flesh, and Selena turned quickly, surprise burning through her veins.

Prince Takumi slowly lowered his hand, bowstring reverberating in the air, as two pegasi bearing red-headed riders, two samurai, and one lancer dashed forward screaming a war cry while a second archer joined Takumi while a healer dashed toward Kamui’s side. A shuriken whizzed by Selena’s head and embedded itself in a mage before it could hurl a lightning spell, and she whipped her head around to watch Kagerou disappear into a puff of smoke, enemy’s sword slicing through thin air.

“Anankos! You’ll pay for destroying my country!” Takumi yelled out before sending several more arrows in the direction of his blistering wounds, blasting a shower of scales to the ground, and the dragon roared with more pain.

Selena let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and Laslow seemed to do the same if the smile on his face was any indicator, and he looked wildly at Selena as she turned to face him. “Selena… Selena, they came! They came!”

Selena smiled and shouldered her sword, weariness coursing through her muscles. “Of course they came! They would have been stupid not to, right?” She breathed out heavily before letting her sword fall to the ground again, clinking against the wood. “We’ll defeat this dragon yet… We have to…”

Beruka quickly joined with the pegasi, axe sending waves of energy through the air, and Selena watched as Takumi and the archer sent a volley of arrows to Leo’s magic wound, splitting Anankos’s side with pain and blood. The dragon screamed with fury and kneeled to his front knees, neck bending with the great weight of its head.

“We’ll defeat him… And save this world,” Laslow concluded before sending his sword through another enemy’s chest, sending them to dust.

The minutes passed as Selena and Laslow sliced through more enemies, bolstered by the appearance of the Hoshidans for one final hurrah, and she heard Azama argue quickly with Setsuna before the archer finished off a soldier. Tsubaki and Hana traded blows with a few warriors before quickly finishing them, and Takumi and Hinoka both attacked the dragon’s hide again and again, trying to succeed where Xander and Leo were too tired to continue on.

Anankos roared once as Kamui cried out for a rally attack, pure unfiltered fury splitting forth sparks and shards of sky and darkness across the void of the room. Selena shifted her stance and watched as the shadowed warriors began flocking to the dragon’s stomach.

She stared as the Prince and Princesses of Hoshido prepared their weapons for one final blow. Xander and Leo dug deeper into Anankos’s chest with magic, Elise supporting them with a raised staff, and Selena breathed in and out again, avoiding a weapon’s blow.

“You die, now!”

The royals’ cry reached Selena’s ears and rang loudly, spreading their message as their magic weapons spread a hole into Anankos’s chest. The dragon roared and the starlight shattered into multiple fragments, glass spreading across the ground, the sky, the walls, and the great dragon fell, body shattering boundaries and eardrums as dust rippled across the air and settled gently. Kamui floated downwards, wings extended, as water swirled thinly around her body.

“my world… my… kingdom…….” Anankos breathed out once. “my… people…”

Kamui morphed from her dragon form, settling onto Anankos’s great skull before leaning down, kneeling on his brow. “Father… I won’t ask why… But just know… This world has been saved by me…”

Selena let her sword drop as the shadowed mirages disappeared and the room slowly shrunk and morphed to its original size as Anankos’s body slowly faded to darkness and light, shining away as Kamui touched the ground. She and the princess both slipped onto their knees and Selena could hardly stop herself from falling onto her side, body too tired to move, and she watched as Laslow, along with the majority of the frontline Nohrian fighters, did the same.

Jakob reached her fairly quickly before he sunk to the ground as well, leaning on his hands heavily as he breathed out, completely exhausted. “Selena… Severa, we’ve done it… Anankos is gone… Nohr… and Hoshido are saved…” His words came out like a whisper and Selena smiled once, despite the tears falling down her face.

“Yes… Yes… It’s done… We’ve… we’ve won… we’ve finally won…” Her smile turned into a grimace as she let out a few sobs, body shifting slightly with the movement, and Jakob’s own expression morphed from relief to worry as he moved closer to her, sitting down fully as he leaned against her, hand quickly finding hers, and he provided a small comfort as she wailed, energy spent, numbness gone, and reality of the sacrifices they made to reach this bittersweet end finally breaching her well-crafted mask.

. . .

“So these warriors were sent from another world to defeat Anankos,” Takumi breathed out as his eyes scanned Laslow, Odin, and Selena with bowed heads, sunlight glinting off of his light hair. He seemed to be saddened by this fact, but resigned to the truth and sighed again with a hint of anger. “You warriors have taken a lot from me and my country… You’ve killed my brother… His retainer… Destroyed my army… Shattered my country. What have you to say to this?”

His voice was calm and didn’t waver, but Severa still hesitated a few seconds before she lifted her head up and stared him in the eye, despite him being taller. “Forgive me for sounding blunt… Prince Takumi, but your woes fall far from ours. Your world could have been destroyed. Like ours.” She shook her head while breathing out slowly. “We lost our parents. Our comrades. Our leaders. Our farms. Our people. Our cities. We lost our entire world.” She gestured around slowly and Takumi followed her gesture with his own sad gaze. She turned back to him and he looked back into her eyes. “We couldn’t see that happen to this world. We couldn’t bear witness to another world being destroyed. So we stepped in. Sacrifices were made, sure,” she looked down, eyes becoming downcast, “but we did save both Nohr and Hoshido. We destroyed Anankos and stopped the world from being destroyed. Certainly, it won’t be our job to rebuild it, we’ve already spent too much time here…” She looked at Inigo and Owain and they shrugged their shoulders.

“I’m no commander,” Inigo laughed lightly, “I’m sure I’d just give some stupid idea. Prince Xander and Prince Leo will be so much better.” He turned to look at Prince Takumi, who straightened his back as Hinoka leaned back slightly. Inigo tilted his head, crossing his arms behind his back. “And so will you. Live in the vision of your brother and those you have lost. Nohr will do the same.”

Owain crossed his arms in front of his chest, taking one of his more confident poses and Severa tried to hold back a smirk. “Do not fear, young prince! After every midnight comes the dawn! So too shall this world break free into the light. Seek it and you shall find it.”

Though Owain’s speech didn’t seem to impact the prince in the way it had Leo, Severa, or Inigo, he did seem to regain some confidence and met the mage’s eyes with fire. “Of course. I see that… You three are brave fighters. I only wish you had more options to save this world with care in mind… I don’t doubt you could have done it.”

“If only I had taken a third path,” Kamui lamented from the side, but Leo tapped her shoulder carefully.

“If you had left both Nohr and Hoshido, your options would have been sorely limited… Selena, Odin, and Laslow also wouldn’t have been able to complete your puzzle…”

“Yes,” Hinoka mused softly, though Sakura covered her mouth. “Perhaps this was the better way… Rather than having a destroyed world.”

“I don’t know…” Sakura shook her head as Xander turned to face the princess. “What will we do without Ryouma…?”

“Just what you’ve been doing without Queen Mikoto,” he sighed and the princess turned to face him in turn. “You will live. You will fight. And you will rebuild.”

The ordinary soldiers split from the group and Severa felt herself stumbling away from the now crown prince’s line of sight, feet dragging in the Hoshidan grass and her gaze found purchase in the towering castle, untouched by Anankos’s blight. She felt the wind ruffle her slightly undone hair and she closed her eyes against the cool touch of the pure air, inhaling deeply.

A few footsteps interrupted her from her reprieve and she turned after opening them once again, gaze landing on Jakob’s equally tired figure. He tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes with exhaustion and she looked him over a few times. He hadn’t treated all of his injuries, but she could guess that Flora and Felicia had touched him up without explicit consent; they wouldn’t leave him bleeding at any cost, not like that. She turned fully, letting arms hang to her sides and she smiled slightly, hand free from her hilt. Jakob mirrored the action and slowly closed the gap between the two of them, embracing her with a tender touch, running his hands across her back as if to check for any wounds. She let her arms find their way to a comforting hold and rested her head against his neck, closing her eyes as she inhaled his scent.

“I can still hardly believe it’s finally over,” Jakob breathed out with incredulousness as he ran his thumb across her back. “Just… Just two years ago… I was in Lady Kamui’s fortress… Preparing her for her final test…”

“Just two short years and the fate of the world has been changed…” Severa mirrored, holding him ever tighter. “We’ve loved… We’ve lost… And we’ve loved again…”

“Haha… Strangely poetic coming from you,” Jakob chuckled and she felt his heart beating through his armor-less chest.

“Yes… I suppose now all that’s left are the poems and songs they’ll tell of this tale.”

“For ages and worlds to come, I’m sure.”

“Yes. I’ll carry them with me forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea. I hope yall didn't cry too much.  
> I wanted to use one of Camilla's crit quotes as well, but they're so... kinda cringy. So I just used Ryouma's. I didn't even realize it was Ryouma's until I looked it up. Fitting.  
> King Takumi is also an Aesthetic.  
> Anyway, keep ur eyes peeled for the next chapter! I put a lot of love into it, so I hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!  
> Happy reading~ maybe


	25. I Think of You, All Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZsVN0inVoc while reading this chapter, along with any NieR: Automata songs. The first song fits this chapter rather well and I basically chugged through this chapter with the help of the latter's songs. (Also Kaine Salvation, ohhh, that song)  
> Anyway.  
> Wow.   
> I don't want to spoil stuff, but after the first break, you as readers may be put off. Don't worry! Nothing happens that would seem to be implied.  
> Hm, any other comments...  
> I've been planning the scenes for this chapter for MONTHS. And I'm proud of how most of them turned out. I may edit them slightly later on (with like the first half of this fic), but for now they stay.  
> I also have some ideas for continuations. The morgan/gerome/lucina adventure story is appealing, but also EliseXTakumi have potential, especially with exploring how post-war things are going. Poor Elise.  
> I'll be honest, I forgot Lilith existed. She's honestly better off not in the game anyway rip. Sorry Lilith, I like your design.

Both crown princes had been coronated and had assumed their respective thrones by the time three weeks had rolled around. Xander quickly took control of Nohr and fished out the worst of the nobles that had been secretly funding agitations across the Hoshidan border. Leo worked on renovations among the public, refreshing taxes and working with public service projects to draw the people to the streets again while he worked on drawing out the worst of criminals in an effort to erase the damage Garon had created. Elise hadn’t done much other than work through her grief, and Severa didn’t expect her to do much else, but at least Kamui being there meant the princess wouldn’t suffer alone, though Kamui also worked with both brothers in efforts to improve the country she had sworn her life to.

From what Severa had gathered, Takumi had done well in culling overall hate toward Nohr, explaining to the people that there had been a dragon behind most of it. Naturally, some still protested and, from what she had learned, Yukimura had been supporting this cautious opposition. Hinoka was working on restoring the military might while Sakura worked with general healing and humanitarian options. Severa trusted that the new king would hold his position well, but he seemed to be wavering in some aspects, trying to hold onto his youthful innocence while also growing into his new leadership role.

She had seen both him and Princess Elise together on separate occasions and she wondered if they were seeking out similarly damaged people. Certainly, she was no queen, but after losing her sister and father she could certainly relate to the new king.

Slowly, life had been reverting to what it had been before the war, and Kamui’s fight, had begun. Keaton left to rejoin his tribe, promising that he would spread his new information to other shape-shifting groups. Flora had been making plans to finally, permanently, return to the ice tribe, though Severa knew she hadn’t quite put them into plan yet. Nyx would be disappearing back to her previous life, though she would pop in sometimes, she promised to the youngest princess while she cried. Mozu hadn’t yet figured out what she would be doing, but she figured that she should be at least some voice of common reason in a land of nobility. Most retainers would also be remaining in their normal jobs, at least as much as they could.

Severa, Inigo, and Owain would be returning to Ylisse tomorrow, a month after the end of the war. They had already been relieved of their duties, Xander and Leo both aware that they would have to leave at some time and told the three of them they would prefer the soldiers spend the rest of their days in peace, without obligations.

Inigo had been working with Xander and Leo, recommending various ideas he had seen work in Ylisse and Ferox with Owain’s help, though the latter had been having more fun collecting stories on Nohr, Hoshido, and the surrounding countries. The both of them seemed to slowly be moving away from the idea of Nohr, but clung happily to the memories, if their times at dinner could be of any judge.

Severa had a… more difficult time coming to terms with the end. Certainly, it was a relief that the world had been saved and she couldn’t be happier that both Nohr and Hoshido were recovering well, more than well if the conversations with King Takumi could be of any judge, but her heart still ached with a thousand pains.

She slowly opened her eyes while kneeling in front of Camilla’s gravestone, surrounded by flowers of so many colors, most of which Elise had picked herself. Vibrant colors of red and blue decorated the grass and ground in the garden, Camilla’s favorite location. Garon’s axe lay against his own grave, set farther off, but still generated the same familial touch that Camilla’s grave held. Severa let out a breath before she ran a finger over an iris, the purple color reminding her of the princess’s hair.

Shura’s death hadn’t surprised her. She didn’t know exactly how the Kohgan would even make it out of the war, not after helping with Azura’s abduction. Azura’s death had certainly shocked her, though, along with Kaze’s, but she hadn’t worked with them for years, grown alongside them, grown to care for them in an almost familial way.

Camilla’s death had left a strange, empty, quiet hole in her heart that couldn’t be sated by anything, not Charlotte’s quips, not Niles’s teasing, not even Jakob’s soft reassurances. Though, he didn’t expect her to recover quickly either, stating that if he had lost Kamui to the dragon, he would have felt broken into at least four parts.

He had mostly left her alone the first few days, knowing she was adult enough to work through her problems reasonably without him needing to step her through it, though he offered a helping hand whenever she asked, and even sometimes before she even knew she needed the help.

Really, what did she do to deserve him? It was almost hilarious remembering their actions before and at the beginning of the war. They had argued so much over nothing really, sometimes competitions, sometimes about skills, lots of times about devotion to their respective princesses. Despite being in a delicate situation as far as politics went, they still had the time to worry and argue about such small things.

Perhaps that was the joy of life, though. Being able to hold such pointless talks.

If neither of them had changed and grown from both their actions and the actions of others, she doubted they would have even fallen in love. She certainly wouldn’t have wanted to fall in love with him at that point either, not with how blindly obsessed he was to Kamui, though his aversion to people was certainly understandable; she had held that same viewpoint and it had taken him to open her up, just as she had done to him.

She leaned back as she read the engraving on Camilla’s gravestone. Life certainly made little to no sense. She exhaled again, remembering the time Camilla had sobbed aloud, thinking she had died after journeying to the snow-filled world, the time she had protected her from Hans, the times she herself had to comfort the princess. All she could do was regret that she hadn’t been fully with her from the beginning due to her obstinacy.

“I suppose I have to apologize for all of that, don’t I?” She murmured to the gravestone before running her finger down the edge of it, eyes trailing past the words that glorified the princess’s image, preserving her perfect side for history. Severa exhaled slowly before she stretched her arms, leaning forward. “I’m… I’m going to be leaving soon, Camilla. I know it’s what you weren’t looking forward to and I’m sorry that I’ll be making you sad…” Her voice faded to silence and she blinked back a few tears. “It’s all my fault… I should have been a better retainer, realized that you were hurting inside…” She gulped, rather loudly, and rubbed her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. “Not as your retainer, but as your friend… And now I’ll never have that chance…”

In the future, she hadn’t been there for her friends either, barely there for Lucina and flat out ignoring those like Brady, Gerome, and Inigo. She regretted that to a certain point, but Lucina had mentioned a few times that Severa herself had been hurting greatly, so she couldn’t blame her at all really. Severa could blame herself though, especially when considering she should have been serving the princess.

And now, she had failed Camilla in exactly the same way with the addition of having her wits about her. No longer had she been the girl suffering over her lost parents and lost love and yet she had still avoided being there for a person who had needed her in their darkest hours.

She leaned back towards the cold stone and pressed her knees into the earth, feeling the cold leak forth to her skin. “If I could do it over… I don’t know if I would, but if I were presented with that chance, I would spend more of it on you and not on myself… I can’t afford to be selfish, not anymore, and I regret that I hadn’t seen it earlier… I’m sorry Camilla…” She wiped away her eyes and stood up, leaving the iris swishing in the wind. “I miss you, my princess, and I always will… But now I have to leave you and, maybe, it’s better that it was this way… I couldn’t afford to break anyone else’s heart… Not yours.” She gave one last look to the stone and to the pedestal reserved for a future statue of both the princess and a younger form of the dead king before she turned around and disappeared to the confines of the castle.

The halls seemed almost lighter than the time she had spent in them while in the beginnings of her service to the dead princess. The stone decorating the floors and walls were dark as ever, of course, but there appeared a lightness to them that lifted her spirits from the garden, which was strange as flowers should naturally be more appealing than a bunch of cold stone, but Severa supposed she wouldn’t know better, as anything was appealing compared to her destroyed world.

A few pictures Elise had painted in her youth were strung across the corridor leading to the smaller library, the youngest princess’ favorite room. Severa passed a hand over the ornately carved door before she continued on her way, light splashing across her feet as she journeyed onwards.

She passed by the kitchen and heard Peri, Felicia, and Jakob squabbling over something or other, and she caught a glimpse of flour spilled over a counter while the oven roared with life, cake mixes and breads decorating the other surfaces. She decided that joining in on them would probably be the worst decision she could make, judging by the faces of the other bakers and cooks in the kitchen, and she covered her mouth with her hand before she could let herself be discovered. She straightened up again after recovering, watching as Jakob took a nervous step back while Peri brandished a knife in his face, waving it like a baton or pointer of sorts, before she gestured to each pastry in turn, yelling about something likely related to that.

Even now, the retainer had grown out of her murderous tendencies, which Severa was grateful for. Perhaps it was then for the better that Xander had taken her as a retainer, else she never would have received that chance to grow into a proper person. She watched as Felicia took a stab at Jakob, crossing her arms, and he sighed and took a step back.

He too had changed over time, finally allowing others to stretch their wings, and he would take the time to learn from his mistakes and grow with others. She smiled despite herself and eventually continued on her journey through the castle walls, determined on memorizing at least a few small parts before her return to Ylisse.

Maybe then she could make a map of it, something to comfort her if/when she would wake up sore and crying. She didn’t know how she would cope with it for the first month, but she figured her first stop would be to find her parents again and become updated on worldly matters. She had a fortune in war-related goods; Chrom and Lissa had felt personally guilty for the future children’s horrid pasts and provided them each with comfortable life savings. Gerome and Lucina had cast those away, last she had heard, though Brady had used his for something about traveling performances, Noire used hers for medicines, Nah did… something. Yarne probably built a well-fortified house, and Severa could imagine that Kjelle used hers for weapons and training, something that she enjoyed.

She hadn’t been able to use hers for anything other than food and clothes; she had spent the first year with her parents and spent the rest of that time doing whatever before Anankos had called her, leaving her money in Ylisse; she figured that the currency would be different between the two worlds and she hadn’t been paid in gold, realistically. If Chrom had given them gold, she would have usurped him right then and there, claiming that she had the wherewithal to run a kingdom better than him.

Eventually, Severa found herself on one of the upper levels where the bedrooms mainly lie, though she believed that Xander had moved somewhere else and one of them had been renovated for a guest room.

Camilla had told her that they mostly left the mistresses and siblings’ rooms untouched, not wanting to disturb the past, but after the war and Garon’s death, Xander and Leo both figured it was time to move on, though she knew for an undisputable fact that the younger prince outright refused to visit his mother’s room and the rooms of those he had killed.

Accidents, she had heard, and Jakob informed her that he had killed his first time in self-defense; he had been there, he added, and he remembered the shell-shocked look on the prince’s face.

“It terrified me at the time for a reason I couldn’t place, but before I could really get to know him better, I had been sent to the fortress, and then I met Kamui, forgetting about him for the most part.”

In her beginning months at Nohr, she had heard many rumors of the bloodlust of the royal family, murmured by scared maids and taunting butlers. Only when she discussed the matter with Camilla was it really confirmed; she and Leo really had killed some of their siblings, though mostly due to force of hand from higher up. Camilla had even offed a mistress, though she added that the woman was despicable and she had tortured her own child in a mad gamble that paid off with their death.

Severa hadn’t put any rumors to rest; if she were to let loose that she knew of a certain truth, she supposed bad things would happen to the royal family, so she merely wrote it down somewhere to hold the words as a beacon of truth for when she were to return to Ylisse and tell stories to her friends.

Now, she didn’t know if she’d spread that one. She didn’t want to harm Camilla’s memory more than she had to.

She paused in front of a closed doorway barely concealing the cries within the walls. She recognized the sobs of Princess Elise and she felt her heart clench with guilt.

Even though the princess had seemed consoled after a few conversations with Takumi of all people, there were still nights where Leo would tell Severa that Elise would cry herself to sleep in his arms and he could barely do anything but hold her before he himself would lose himself to emotion.

She couldn’t leave this undone. She couldn’t leave Nohr and Elise to her suffering. She bit her lip, steeled her emotions, and turned before knocking on the door. “Lady Elise? It’s me, Sele- Severa.” She listened as the princess awkwardly stopped crying and a few more quiet moments passed before she heard permission and Severa opened the door slowly, greeted by a darkened room and a disheveled bed.

Elise was sitting in the middle of a few pillows and, from the dim light, Severa could see reddened eyes and tear tracks on the princess’s face. Elise hadn’t often worn makeup and, if she had now, it would certainly be smudged beyond salvation.

Severa slowly sat down in the chair at her desk, leaning on the wooden frame. No sixteen year old should be crying over a dead sister and her heart stung with guilt again as she awkwardly looked away, Elise staring at her face with a blank expression.

The princess had changed altogether too much. Gone was the pure ray of sunshine that lifted the royals’ hearts and now remained the stone face of one trying to conceal their true feelings in lieu of comfort to others. The war had taken more than her sister; it had taken her innocence and truly cheerful nature.

Severa sighed with sadness at that fact and straightened up again. “Princess Elise… I…” She bit her lip before looking to the side. “I wanted to inform you that… Inigo, Owain, and I will be leaving tomorrow…”

“Oh… Is that all…?” The princess’s voice was thin and weak, though it concealed barely covered malice that caused Severa to narrow her eyes in confusion. Elise looked at her and shrugged. “I figured with such an entrance you’d say something else. Maybe something about something that Xander wants me to do… I dunno…”

Her words were slurred and lost, quiet, and Severa sighed again, catching Elise’s attention. She frowned at the retainer and straightened her own back, reminiscent of her position. “You ultimately failed in your duties as a retainer. I know it was my sister’s intention, but regardless… you… you should be…”

“Punished?” Severa shook her head with sadness as Elise leaned back, surprised that she would be able to fill in a sentence so easily. “Camilla’s death is one of the greatest punishments I could be handed… Though, she chose her death… I think the weight of her- your siblings was too great for her to bear. The memories ended up crushing her, and I’m surprised the same hasn’t happened to Leo.”

Elise tugged at the corners of her sheets and shrugged without care. “He’s married to Kamui… How could he think about dying when he’s happy now?”

“And you and Xander aren’t happy?” Severa concluded quietly, and Elise paused, but didn’t acknowledge the new words. She shook her head with quiet sadness and stood up, eventually settling herself next to the princess as she looked away, crossing one arm over the other as she pulled at the hem of her dress.

Her appearance hadn’t changed much save her hair, Selena reflected. Her face still looked young and she hadn’t grown much with height, maybe three inches, but after Camilla’s death she had cut her hair to mid-back, even shorter than Kamui’s. The princess had informed her that cutting one’s hair in Nohr was a sign of mourning and Severa figured that was appropriate, though she didn’t know how Xander and Leo would go about it.

“Elise… I’m going to tell you some very hard truths, but I want you to listen to me, ok?” Severa angled her head toward the princess in the hopes that she would at least listen, if not look. “Losing a relative, especially someone who was a parental figure, will impact you for the rest of your life. It will never go away.” She sighed as Elise stiffened, clearly trying to hold back more tears. “But, that doesn’t mean you can’t live with it and grow past it. It took me… Years to get over my parents, but when I realized that they died to protect me and that they still love me and look out for me, it became easier. I grew up. I moved on. But I still hold them with me.” She slowly slid the ring off of her hand and showed it to the princess, and her head turned to follow Severa’s action.

“Takumi said that, as royals, people will expect us to move on too quickly… He said it’ll be hard…”

“He’s not wrong,” Severa sighed as she slipped the ring back on her finger and leaned back on her hands, feeling the soft silk of the bed spread. “I lost my mother near the beginning of the war and, as soon as I lost my father, I basically had to pick up his sword. But that doesn’t mean you have to give up recovering. You can do that at the same time as everything else.”

Elise clutched her arm with a sickened look on her face and Severa figured that there was something else ailing the princess and didn’t know if she should be the one to bring it up.

She didn’t know how much time the king and princess had spent together, but now that Elise was referring to him on a first name basis, she figured that something had happened between the two of them. At least they were able to relate somehow; Takumi was no doubt extremely damaged by what had happened during the war and she hoped that at least Elise could help him along.

She wouldn’t be here to see it, though.

“I can’t…” Elise murmured, startling Severa from her thoughts, and the princess shifted on her bed, crossing her legs with a guilty expression on her face. “I still can’t help but… hate you…”

Severa tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.

“But, still remembering what happened to Jakob, I… I feel so guilty… I almost took away the person you loved. I should have. That’s what should have happened. But you never… You never hated me. And now that Camilla’s dead… I hate you.” She wiped away newly forming tears on her face and clasped a hand over her mouth. “I’m an awful person…”

Severa sighed as Elise sobbed quietly and she shook her head, standing up. “I don’t blame you at all. I remember that night. Well,” Severa smiled, turning to face the princess, though higher up than her at this moment. “I certainly had a few choice words for the situation. But I’m also almost ten years older than you, Elise. In time… You’ll learn how to cope. But,” she kneeled down and grasped the princess’s hand in hers. “Know that I don’t hate you back. Please, don’t feel terrible that your sister died. Remember what she stood for and everything will fall into place.”

Elise’s face turned and she looked away, letting out a single sob, and Severa figured that was all she was going to get through to Elise, so she left her with a pat on her head and exited the room, closing the door solidly behind her.

She turned to face the direction she had been walking before, but stopped as she saw Nyx leaning outside the doorframe, arms crossed as she leaned a foot up against the wall for balance. After Severa acknowledged her presence, she straightened up and her hair fell against her back. “I applaud you trying to make her feel better. I wouldn’t have expected she confided her feelings in you. It’s a testament to her emotional growth.”

“Maybe so, but it’s still bad that she feels that way in the first place,” Severa sighed with uselessness and Nyx shrugged.

“Everyone harbors negative feelings. I can see that you still feel annoyed by my own presence,” she commented smoothly and Severa stiffened, but forced herself to relax at the accusation.

“You’re too blunt with your words. You probably knew before anyone else that we were from another world and you could have blown it.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Nyx shrugged and the veil shifted with her action. “I would have had nothing to gain from voicing my disagreements. Had you wanted to, you could have easily destroyed our vanguard. At the time, we needed your strength. You and your friends are forces of nature. It would be foolish to disregard that.”

Even Keaton had seen how strong the trio was, so of course Nyx also would have noticed. Severa sighed and closed her eyes, but turned away. “I suppose it all worked out in the end. Even if Lady Camilla was killed…”

“You still plan on returning to your homeland, then? Even after all of this?” Nyx must have overheard her, but Severa turned to face her, indignation written cleanly in her eyes.

“You just plan on returning to do whatever you were doing when Kamui found you, so how is that any different? You’re just going to leave Elise and everyone else like this? You have no right to criticize me.”

“No,” Nyx concluded cleaning, startling Severa out of her anger. The mage shrugged, crossed her arms, and began to gaze out of the window at the midday sun. “I don’t.”

“Even with that, you’re still going to leave?” Severa sighed, almost bored, and Nyx nodded.

“Even if I have helped save a world, that is still not enough to make up for the sins I’ve caused. It’ll take more work than that.” She waved her hand, dismissing the conversation. “You, however, seem determined to suffer when you have no reason to. Will you really leave your relationship hanging like this? It will take a toll on your mental health, I assure you.”

“Do I really have a choice?” Severa deadpanned before rubbing her cheeks. “Realistically, we never should have been together. We never should have met…”

“And yet you have,” Nyx responded quietly and Severa looked into her eyes, confused. Nyx stared back determined. “It sounds like fate has other ideas to me.” She tilted her head slightly, staring at the mercenary, before she sighed and continued on her way, leaving Severa to debate the strange conversation.

She rubbed the back of her neck and frowned, closing her eyes.

What was fate in the end, really? She figured she would never know.

By the time noon ended, Severa had tracked the parts of the castle she had known best, sending farewells to the members of the vanguard she didn’t know well enough to talk to in depth, but members she felt she would probably still miss on some level.

She nearly ran into Charlotte holding a large cake as she entered the dining room and Severa grabbed the plate to avoid it falling over. “Jeez, did you empty the whole kitchen with this?” Severa sighed, but helped Charlotte set it on the table. “Why were you leaving the dining room anyway?”

Charlotte cast her gaze across the room, but didn’t reply and Severa wondered if she was waiting for someone. “I was just transferring areas… Can’t let my cake get too hot after all, haha,” she replied after a few tense moments and Severa noticed that her voice was quieter than normal. Severa shrugged and neglected to answer before Charlotte narrowed her eyes. “Is it true…? That you guys are leaving tomorrow?”

Severa set her jaw and crossed her arms, turning away from the berserker’s gaze. “Yes… We are. It’s time we returned to our own world and things are settling themselves… It’s… the end.”

Charlotte seemed to turn a bit upset at this and she leaned on the table, crossing her legs. “It’s not my place to convince you otherwise, but don’t you think you’re making some kind of mistake?”

“You haven’t been to our other world, Charlotte. You wouldn’t know what we’ve left… What we want to return to,” Severa argued quickly, voice quiet, and Charlotte shook her head slowly.

“Do you know what you’re leaving behind here, though?”

Her voice rang in Severa’s ears and the mercenary rubbed her arm, refusing to meet her gaze again. “I… I know…”

“Does Jakob know?”

Severa gulped and shook her head. Charlotte sighed and rolled her neck. “I can’t believe this… You plan to just leave him without saying anything? Think about his feelings for once!”

“I am thinking about him!” Severa retorted, voice louder, and she clenched her hands and furrowed her brows, looking downward in an effort to shove off the feelings. “I know… He’s pretty attached to me… I don’t know how to tell him…”

“Sooner is better than later, isn’t it?” Charlotte argued back quickly, leaning off of the table and taking a step forward. Severa took a step back in kind, nervousness blossoming on her face. “You saw how he reacted when he thought you were going to die, right? If you told him you were leaving only just before you were going to, that would be too cruel. I can’t even imagine doing it to anyone, even Xander.”

“Your love hate relationship with Xander seems different from my relationship with Jakob…”

Charlotte blushed and stammered out a few choice words before she huffed, retaliating with a stern “You two are actually in a relationship! There should be more communication, right? Just tell him like you’re telling me now!”

“I… I don’t…” Charlotte crossed her arms as Severa stammered through her own excuses before she closed her eyes. “I don’t want… to see his face when I tell him…”

“Would you rather see his face the day of?” Charlotte deadpanned quickly and Severa narrowed her eyes again, frowning all the while. “You’re always so stubborn about these things, Selena, I don’t understand it at all.”

“You don’t understand it even though you and Xander have a great lack of communication?” Severa sighed, causing Charlotte to become flustered yet again. “I don’t know, Charlotte… Maybe I’m just dreading it…”

“Yea, I suppose you would have the worst to look forward to,” she sighed before standing silent awkwardly before tapping Severa on the shoulder. “I’ll… I guess I’ll miss you too. You are a pretty good fighter, but I guess, now that we’re not at war, you can spend time on other things…”

“Yea… Maybe…”

Charlotte wished her luck and picked up the cake while Severa bid her the same with the now king and she stammered for another few moments, murmuring that it wouldn’t happen before exiting the room.

Day continued to slowly fall to evening, but while the light was still bright Severa ended up running into Beruka outside of Camilla’s old bedroom. Severa hadn’t really realized she had backtracked, but she couldn’t throw away a chance like this away. The former assassin turned as she heard Severa’s footsteps and stepped back away from the door.

“Beruka. You seem like you’ve packed,” Severa commented quickly after noticing the bag on her back and Beruka nodded.

“Benny and I will be leaving the castle. This life isn’t for us. Camilla is gone and the war is over. I have no use here, no use that I want. It’s time for… It’s time for me to move on.” Beruka turned her head.

“Move on from Nohr? Or move on from Camilla?” Severa asked quickly. “I’m not… I’m not upset or anything, but just ask yourself if that’s the best thing for you.”

“Why are you policing me on this when you too plan on leaving?” Beruka sighed, a slight whine to her voice that Severa wasn’t expecting. “Without you and Camilla I’m nothing! There’s no reason for me to be here when the two people… two of three people I care about are gone. It’s not worth it for me.” She shouldered her back higher. “Not worth being in an empty castle, devoid of all but my memories…”

“I’m sorry,” Severa sighed and rubbed the back of her neck and Beruka tilted her head. “Please… Then, enjoy the rest of your life and make new memories…” She rubbed her eyes, feeling tired for a second. “I know I’ll have to…”

“I am sorry too, Severa,” Beruka murmured, new name sticking on her tongue, and Severa narrowed her eyes with confusion. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I don’t wish to make it harder on you. Perhaps me leaving will be for the best then. As of you.”

“Maybe…” Severa gulped and took a quick step forward, wrapping her arms around Beruka as the shorter assassin did the same. “I’ll always remember you, Beruka. Please don’t forget me either.”

“I will never. Just promise me you’ll also remember everyone else, especially Lady Camilla.” Beruka lifted the charm of her necklace, reflecting the light across the wall. Her words caught Severa’s ear and remained, tumbling around, even after the former assassin disappeared behind the corner and out of sight.

Her hand fell against her side with a slight pat and she narrowed her eyes in thought, trying to decode Beruka’s words. She wasn’t exactly the emotional type, but surely that tone had contained some sort of hurt… Though, they were both leaving. They couldn’t afford to think of what if’s.

Leaving… She didn’t count the days of course and when Owain had informed her that this was their final day, she had been slightly surprised, but she figured it had indeed been the day they set up earlier, nearer the end of the war.

Perhaps she only neglected to tell Jakob because she was dreading it too much.

The sunset shone on her cheeks as she made her way to the lower floor, perhaps to find someone to talk to, and arrived at the dining room for her last meal. Leo and Kamui were situated on the opposite side of the table with Silas and Niles and the cavalier waved at Severa, pulling Kamui’s attention from her conversation. “Oh, Selena… Severa, I was wondering where you had gone.” She straightened up as Leo pulled his plate closer and Severa tilted her head after grabbing her own meal. “Inigo told me…”

“Yea… I guess he would have.”

“Kamui and I have planned a party to see you off,” Leo informed her and Kamui looked at him with disappointment before he shrugged, looking down. “I figured you would want to know what’s in store. There’s no need to make this a surprise. It’s best that you go to bed knowing that we care about you, I believe.”

“Yea, thanks for thinking of them,” Severa answered with genuine care in her tone before she started on her soup, something Leo had a fondness for. “It may not seem like it, but this is a bit hard on Owain. He’s broken out of character a few times,” she admitted with a light chuckle, unsure of how else to express the fact.

Owain rarely broke out of character. Once when Gerome almost died, once when Lucina suggested the plan to go into the past, and once when Cynthia broke into sobs, prompting him to do the same.

Inigo was much more emotional and Morgan sometimes prompted his more weakened states. Apologies followed quickly of course, but it still remained fact that he had thin skin.

Maybe they had all changed and matured, but some things would always remain.

“I haven’t told Jakob yet, since I figured that you should be the one to do it,” Kamui continued on quietly, and Severa narrowed her eyes with concern. Kamui tilted her head as Severa looked up and she narrowed her eyes. “I assume you haven’t done it yet, both judging by your actions and that he also hasn’t mentioned anything to me.”

“I… I don’t know how…” Severa chuckled weakly and Silas straightened up. She rubbed her eyes, dry, and sighed into her hand. “Maybe I’m just trying to run away from the truth.”

“Maybe,” Leo agreed and started on his dessert, looking down as he fidgeted with his fork, “but you surely also know that abstinence isn’t the best course of action. Though certainly, sometimes it’s difficult to find people in this castle,” he admitted with a chuckle.

“Well, I won’t push you like last time,” Kamui sighed, turning to her own meal all the same, though she seemed resigned in the action. “I believe you’ve learned enough to make your own decisions. Just as you have this whole time… Maybe sometimes I don’t like your actions, but… You’re more mature than I am. I still have a lot to learn about this world. Maybe you’ve taught me one of the many perspectives.”

“We’ve both learned from each other,” Severa corrected the princess quickly. “Everyone has room for growth… Even me.”

Leo chuckled at that and he set the mood for the rest of the meal, Kamui discussing plans of action with Silas while Niles, Leo, and Severa had some jovial conversations about Ylisse, Nohr, and general strategy.

Now that they were no longer at war, they could discuss death with a much lighter hand, though Severa could see the weariness in the prince’s eyes. Hopefully they would all move on someday and learn to live with the death of the princess. She would have to.

Sun was still setting by the time she found herself gazing out at the outdoor garden, though it glinted on the windows and set a glare across the glass, blocking view of some of the rose bushes. She pressed her hand on the class, feeling the cool air of Nohr penetrate her skin, reminding her of the cold winters in Ferox to a certain extend.

She knew the Nohrian sun only shown perhaps half of the year, a meaning, a sign. Would she miss this sun as much as she missed the sun of her own world? She bit her lip at the thought.

She hadn’t grown up in this world of course, but the more she learned about it the more it meant to her, the more she lost by leaving it. The people, the locations, the traditions, even something as small as a special spice from a plant she had never heard of. All of these things would be lost to her, and all that would remain would be her memories.

Though, she supposed her own world held that same fate, along with the people who died. That thought helped her steel herself a bit, though as a voice broke her from her stupor, that confidence quickly wavered.

“Ah, Severa, I would have thought you were spending time at Princess Camilla’s grave.”

She hadn’t expected Jakob to start with such a small line, voice breaking the still quiet that sunset had brought, and she could feel that confidence shatter. “I visited her this morning… To…” She gulped, the words catching in her throat, and Jakob must have assumed that she was still struggling with the death. “To finish loose ends…”

“You still feel guilt, don’t you?” His sigh sent prickles of energy through her spine, but she shoved them away as she looked at him and his concerned expression. “I cannot imagine what I’d do if you had taken her blow, so… I prefer to merely live within this world. This present.”

At least they could agree on that. They were practically the curators of denial.

Severa swallowed once and looked down and outside again, hand forming into a fist as she bit her tongue. “So many irreversible things have happened… So many bad things…” She looked up slowly as Jakob narrowed his eyes in confusion. She smiled thinly and felt the beginnings of tears well in her eyes. “But, so many good things as well… Things I could never replace or replicate… Things I’ll carry with me forever…”

Jakob sighed slowly and took a hesitant step closer, looking down. “You deserved more than a ruined world and a misplaced life… And I’m only sorry that I can’t do more.”

“You’ve done more than enough,” Severa murmured, voice thin and airy, and she noticed Jakob’s back straighten at her words. “I… I couldn’t ask for anything better…” She rubbed at her eyes again, though this time they burned with sadness instead of exhaustion. “I don’t entirely believe in the idea of fate and things being destined… But I’m glad that, somehow, we had the chance to be together. I’m glad I decided to come to Nohr, even after everything…” Her expression soured and she bit her lip. It tore at her heart, the burning fact that she and Jakob would never truly have the chance to be together, not like anyone else could, like Kamui and Leo, Niles and Mozu, even the closest friends, like Felicia and Peri.

“I’m relieved as well. Never knowing you… well,” Jakob chuckled, eyes closed as Severa looked up, “it would have felt like I would have been missing something my entire life. Something desperately. Someone… who is that much a part of me as I am myself.”

The breath escaped out of her lungs in a rush, though silent and unnoticed, and she felt a stabbing sensation in her heart. Though she didn’t need to say it, they both knew that it worked the other way around. In that moment, she hardly knew how she would survive Ylisse without him.

But she figured, she had survived worse, theoretically. She’d been broken before and survived.

This was merely another step.

She passed her gaze across his figure, taking in the strike of light against his pale hair and skin, the fit of the outfit across his chest, and the way he stood as if he was in the presence of his princess, straight and at attention, probably a trait he would never be able to break. The colors brought out the best in his eyes and Severa met their gaze awkwardly as she tore her mind from the thought of wrapping her arms around his neck again, the two of them together providing all of the comfort she could ever want or need. She almost wondered if he could read those thoughts or if he had some of his own. Back when she was younger, she hadn’t liked the idea of someone thinking of her in anything but a normal light, but now she found herself almost hoping that he had different ideas concerning her. She bit her lip and looked away, conflicting thoughts rolling around in her head. Jakob must have noticed and he called her name with a hint of confusion.

Severa exhaled quietly, narrowing her eyes as she formulated a concise response. “Could I… Could I sleep with you tonight?”

He blinked his eyes and leaned back, a sharp action that she quickly picked up on, and he closed his eyes, a confused smile making its way onto his face. “In… what meaning of the word… exactly?”

She didn’t respond and watched as he held that same worried tone, no doubt trying to piece it together for himself.

The sun set.

. . .

She arrived at his room sometime later, when the chill of the night only barely began seeping into the walls and hallways of the castle, and she rubbed her arms with tense motions. She paused in front of the door to consider a few of her options, though the sound of Jakob’s movements within the room did cause her a bit of distraction.

He didn’t seem to be fully relaxed around her, not tonight, so she didn’t completely know what path she would take. Though, at any rate, she merely wanted to spend more time with him to shove away the thoughts of her return home in the morning.

The thought tore at her throat and she gulped past the constriction.

At any rate, this would be their last chance for… anything and everything. She closed her eyes and exhaled, pushing away those despairing thoughts, and finally tapped at the door, loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough to disturb anyone else. The shuffling sounds stopped and Severa took a step back as he opened the door, a tilt to his head as he looked over her for a few moments.

He was in the process of undressing, only his thin undershirt remaining, the cuffs slipping over his arms and concealing the curve of his muscle. She could see his vest and overcoat draped over the back of one of his chairs and his roll of knives and shuriken lie on the table, undisturbed. She looked back at him again before stepping into his room as he closed the door silently behind her. The collar of his shirt was slightly undone, allowing a view of his collarbone, and Severa felt a chill run through her spine as he stepped to the side, running a hand across the back of his neck. “I apologize… I’m… unsure if I’m properly prepared…”

She hadn’t often seen him this nervous, not since he confessed to her (twice), the times leading up to that, and when he had accidently caught Leo and Kamui in a more intimate situation. It seemed as if this form of intimacy embarrassed him, though she couldn’t exactly disagree that it was… different. But regardless, the sight of him wearing only his undershirt did bring a sense of elation to her chest and she took a step forward. “I don’t think the physicalities matter much in the situation, but if you…” She paused, trailing off as her voice grew thin, and she could see his back straighten. “If you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. I don’t want to do anything that you aren’t ok with.”

“I… I’ll keep that in mind…” His voice was equally quiet, something that Severa was almost unused to hearing, and it sent a tingling sensation through the tips of her fingers. She breathed in quietly, exhaled, and took a confident step forward as Jakob angled his head downwards to get a better glimpse of her face. She raised her hand, hesitating for a second to see if he would object in some manner, and slowly ran her hand up across his shoulder, the one he had almost gained full mobility of, as he watched silently, waiting. The fabric of his shirt felt soft underneath her fingers and she breathed in as he took another step back, grazing the wall. She eventually reached his jaw and looked up, wrapping her other arm around his waist as she leaned up and slowly met his lips with her own, closing her eyes as she deepened the kiss. He returned both actions, holding her tightly to his chest, and she could feel his erratic heartbeat echoing within her own.

She eventually moved her hand from his jaw and rubbed her hand across the back of his neck, holding him ever closer, and she could feel him give a shaky gasp of breath and the arm around her tightened. She could feel his body becoming hot, a contrast to normal, and she took a step forward, pressing her leg between his, and her skin tingled with sensitivity as he let out a light moan. She leaned back to take a breath, a heaving action that seemed foreign to her, before beginning again, biting his lip in a fit of passion. He breathed out another numbing noise and Severa whined in response as he gripped her hips with a firm touch, pressing his thumbs to her skin tight enough for her to shiver.

Though it caused her body pangs of yearning, she pulled away (though still embracing him) and broke the kiss, taking steps back until the edge of his bed hit her thighs and felt Jakob pause as she did, his legs pressing against the quilting between her legs, cornering her. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly before she wrapped her arms around his neck, moving backwards to sit on his bed fully. He followed, knees slowly sliding over the blankets as he rested his hands on either side of her body, placing a kiss on her mouth again, pushing against her body before he broke it suddenly to move to her neck, breathing in her scent with a sort of desperation that caused her to exhale sharply. Her body began to feel hot and she wrapped her arms around his back as he placed a biting kiss upon her collarbone, bringing forth another noise of desire from her lungs.

She leaned forward, causing him to lean back, and she quickly turned the tables, situating herself above him as he pressed his spine roughly against the headboard. She moved a hand sensually across his waist, leaning forward to place kisses of her own across his neck, an occasional bite causing him to moan with yearning. He wrapped his arms around her back, gripping her with a ferocity that she eagerly welcomed.

After pulling back, she caught his gaze within her own, noting the cloudy nature of his eyes, and she felt her stomach clench. She could feel his chest heaving beneath her fingers and his mouth was slightly open for ease of air and the sight of it sent a shiver up her spine.

“If this is truly what you want… I’ll allow you this…”

Was it what she wanted? Severa didn’t really know. She felt comfortable in his embrace certainly, but the thought of it being her last chance to really spend time with him did sour her actions in some form. Could he sense that? She didn’t know, but she felt touched that he would take the time to give her one last warning.

He too was probably barely able to hold himself back long enough for even that one sentence.

“This is what I want… To be with you…” He blinked at her quiet words and she wondered if he had gotten some sort of hint of the future within them, but instead of commenting, he merely leaned up, silencing her with a tender kiss before he moved his hand around the back of her neck and held her close as he quickly deepened it, pressing against her body with yearning. She could feel the heat from his stomach against hers and she moaned as he ran a hand across her back, fingers rubbing into her spine sensually before he gripped her shirt in his hand, holding fast.

His scent and taste nearly overwhelmed her, but she continued on, fingers gripping his back and feeling his shirt, thin and wispy, yet somehow still too much for her liking. She leaned back, determination renewed, and started pulling at the buttons with a feral sort of necessity, revealing his pale skin along with the jagged scar that marked his fight for life. However, unlike the other times, she moved past and slid the shirt from his shoulders, watching with muted fascination as he discarded it across the ground. She ran her fingers across the length of his spine to cause yet another reaction and he bit back a whine before his fingers rubbed across her hips, smoothing out the fabric of her shirt. He pressed a biting kiss to her collarbone before tugging at her own collar with his teeth as his fingers slid across the band of her skirt, touching skin. It felt electrifying, like a lightning tome tingled across her skin, sending shocks of sensitivity through her nerves, and she gasped, a foreign feeling running through her legs.

His hands reached the edges of her shirt, as if asking for permission, and she too tossed it aside, leaving her undershirt hanging loosely from her shoulders. She didn’t miss the yearning gaze that Jakob tossed her at that, eyes lingering over her chest, and she responded in kind by slipping her fingers around his belt, finding skin, though he gripped her wrists, panting with forced breaths. She slowly moved her hands away, though instead of leaning up for another kiss, Jakob lifted the edges of her undershirt, fingers skimming her skin in a horribly stimulating way, causing her to shiver, and pulled it over her head, finally pressing his lips to hers again, holding her now warm body close to his, pressing further, further, and she could feel his heat burning to her heart.

Jakob inhaled sharply as he moved his hands across her back, thumb rubbing across the skin beneath her bindings, and she shuddered, pleasure coursing through her veins, and she pressed her hands to his hips, holding tight as if she could lose him any second, leaving marks against his skin where her fingers had remained. She leaned her head back to more comfortably situate her legs around his waist, running her hands across his chest and up towards his neck to come to rest on his cheeks, pulling him in again, and he yielded to her touch, completely subservient to her. She opened her mouth, allowing them to continue deeper, and he moaned before he rested his hand on her neck to steady himself lest he lose himself completely to passion.

It was a task that the both of them completed, really, no one person taking control of the other, and it reminded her of their times working together on all of their various tasks. She probably should have foreseen it in some fashion, they really did work together quite well.

The pang of homesickness ripped through her chest and, with it, the thought of abandoning Jakob like this caused her to gasp and cry out with pain. Jakob jerked once, startled, and broke their kiss, leaning back, winded as he was, though she could see the yearning within his body. It had probably taken more control than it appeared to pull away, and she lauded his effort. His hand rested heavily on the bedspread and she could see the breaths tugging at his lungs, his chest moving with great effort. “Severa… are you really sure you want to do this?” His voice continued to be quiet, tugging at her ears, and she gulped once, nodding her head.

“I want to be with you… I… I want to…” She grimaced, cutting herself off, and held back another sob, clasping a hand over her mouth before she could appear to be in more pain than she really was (she wasn’t in that much pain, right?). Jakob narrowed his eyes at her with sadness and slowly leaned up, pushing her off of his waist with great effort before he leaned on his knees, removing her hand from her mouth as she turned to gaze up at him. She looked down quickly, tears coming to her eyes as Jakob quickly asked what was wrong. She shook her head and he slowly released her wrist. “I…” She breathed in to steel herself, regretting that she had left this until the last minute, but she figured again that she wouldn’t have had the motivation to tell him earlier, not to seek him out just to break his heart. “I’m leaving tomorrow. Forever.”

Jakob stilled and she could feel the temperature in the room drop, a stark contrast to earlier, and he leaned back against the headboard again, running a hand through his bangs in disbelief as he allowed his body to calm down. A few more tense moments passed, Severa staring at him for a response, and he turned to face her again. “So that’s why…”

“No only that… I…” She paused and swallowed, rubbing her neck (feeling the spots where he had kissed her roughly earlier) before continuing. “I do love you, Jakob… And I know that you’ve… Well, this is something you…”

“I wouldn’t want to sacrifice your happiness for my desires, Severa… Not like this.” Severa blinked and leaned back, his candidness surprising her to a certain extent, and he rest his hand across his legs, adjusting them to sit more comfortably as he looked to the side. “Even if this is… indeed your last night… I don’t want you to be left with tasteless memories tainted by your anxiety.”

“It’s not… I’m not…” She sighed, giving up with her tireless tirade, and merely let her shoulders and head hang, defeated. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do without you… After tonight, after this, I know that much.”

“You…” He continued avoiding her gaze and she could see him gulp awkwardly and his brows narrowed, eyes taking on a darker tone that almost startled her. “You should eventually move on from me… It’s no good to cling to memories… I know that much.”

His words were like an arrow to her chest and her arms hurt with the stark truth of them. She almost cried at the thought, but he was right. There was no use clinging to hopeless memories, she had learned that much from the destruction of her world.

“If you… If we did this… It would be even harder for you, and I don’t want that.” It seemed as if he was forcing the words from his throat and Severa could easily tell that this hurt him just as much as it was hurting her, somehow causing her even more pain. His eyes narrowed further and he grimaced. “Not to mention, what if… what if I-“

She cut him off by wrapping her arms around his chest, burying her face in his neck, and he startled slightly before recovering himself, and he wrapped his arms around her back again, calming. “I can’t afford to care about what ifs right now,” Severa sniffed, words muffled by his skin as she tightened her embrace. “It’s already tearing me up, thinking about living without you… It has been for months… And now my time is coming to an end…” She exhaled slowly, allowing her heart to finally resume to its previous, steady beat. “But… I suppose… I wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up about thinking about what ifs either…”

Jakob paused before he started rubbing circles into her back, slowly sliding down the headboard to situate himself in a comfortable lying position. He seemed to be in thought and Severa welcomed the still quiet, feeling safe and secure in a way she had hardly ever felt in her life.

She would have to give this up. She would have to give this all up.

“I wonder why fate allowed us to be together,” Jakob murmured quietly, taking a leaf from Severa’s own book and she moved her head.

“Maybe… maybe that’s just how it is. I took this opportunity to come here… Maybe it’s just on us.”

“Who knows.” Jakob exhaled slowly and Severa rested her head on his chest, more comfortable in this position, and he brushed the hair away from her eyes. “What I know is that I wouldn’t trade these years knowing you for the world. Even if the first few were mere arguments.”

Severa chuckled at that, her sour mood slowly dissipating in Jakob’s kind words, and she shifted her body to lay on her side. “I don’t think I could ever have entered a relationship with someone stuffy who never pointed out my faults. With the intent to improve at least.”

“And I suppose I couldn’t have been with someone who was willing to look past my terseness with others,” Jakob replied in earnest. “I’ll never forget you or what you’ve done for me. I owe you that much.”

Severa yawned and Jakob held her tighter before shifting the quilts to cover them more comfortably. “I won’t ever forget you either, Jakob. My memory’s too good for that after all.”

He smiled, and that expression allowed her to an easy sleep, protected within his embrace.

. . .

Severa woke up still nestled closely to Jakob’s side and as she pulled away she could feel a chill run through her skin. She blinked a few times, trying to gather her bearings, and leaned up on her hand, gazing across the dimly lit room. Jakob still slept, never a morning person, and she gazed at his face for a few moments. She hadn’t seen him calm much, not before their relationship, and the sight of him finally at peace helped her transition to a fully awake state.

She exhaled and shifted, sitting comfortably, before she rested her hands on her knees, leaning back.

It was truly the end. Anankos was dead. Hoshido and Nohr were saved. Kamui was still alive.

Their mission was truly complete.

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, steeling herself.

Jakob finally stirred next to her, perhaps realizing on some level that she had woken up, and she watched him shift around, also transitioning from his sleeping state, and she passed a hand along his forehead, moving the bangs out of his eyes. “Morning.”

Jakob exhaled slowly and rubbed his eyes before sitting up fully, stretching. “Good morning… Do you know what time it is?”

“No, seems your curtains keep out a lot of light, so it could be any time really.” She paused, wondering what the meaning behind his question could imply, before she shrugged. “We don’t have a specific time planned for anything…”

“Well… You should probably try and get different clothes than yesterday…” He rubbed the back of his neck as Severa looked a bit confused toward him. “They will spread… Ideas.”

“Hm, nothing unexpected, I don’t think. If Niles’s words are anything to go by,” she added with a sigh, and Jakob looked at her with muted horror. Severa smirked at that and ruffled his hair before he could push away her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. I can use the servant’s tunnels.”

It only took Jakob a few moments to get decent, though he had various outfits to put on and ended up choosing a more casual outfit that Severa thought looked very handsome on him. She bid him farewell, after putting on her previous outfit, before she headed to her own room to prepare for the trio’s long journey ahead.

She hooked the necklace that she shared with Beruka and Camilla (the same figure, different colors) around her neck and gazed in the mirror. Should she wear makeup? If she were to say farewell to everyone, it would probably smear from her tears. She sighed and merely brushed her hair into her usual style, making sure to place her winged hairclips across her bangs. At least she would have these material goods to remember her journey by. She carefully folded her red dress into her bag, remembering how Camilla said it looked wonderful on her, and her blue dress, carefully crafted by Jakob, was placed next to it.

She eventually made it outside; she and Jakob certainly must have slept in because Owain and Inigo were already preparing their horses and they both sent her a suspicious gaze that she waved off quickly. Xander tested the saddle on Inigo’s horse, eventually finding it suitable for his tastes, and he turned to his retainer, hands clasped behind his back. “Once Severa is ready, you’ll be able to set off.”

Inigo waved his orb in the air as communication before shoving it back into his pocket. “Yes, I guess we will.”

Severa turned to her own horse, the one she had used in the war; Kamui had been kind enough to give to her permanently. A small part of Nohr, she had explained, and she had felt her heart swell at that kindness.

Their horses were stocky enough to easily carry all of their items, as they had their own special weapons in Ylisse already (there’d be no need to take more than one special Nohrian weapon, Inigo figured), and Severa’s jewelry didn’t take up that much space. Though, Owain’s books certainly seemed a job to carry. Perhaps he had used some sort of magic to ease the weight, she wouldn’t put it past him.

It only took her ten minutes or so to ready her own horse with the help of Felicia and Flora, both maids giving her an expression of grief, and she set her stuff in the proper designations. She exhaled once and turned to the group that had gathered to send them off, Owain and Inigo standing next to her the same.

“Thank you for your sacrifices,” Kamui smiled, hands clasped in front of her as Leo dipped his head. Elise looked down, unable to catch their gazes, while Xander nodded once. “We will never forget what you’ve done for our country and our world. Your names will be engraved into history.”

“Forgive me for interrupting, Lady Kamui,” Inigo laughed once, “but I believe they already have.” He turned to face Severa and Owain at that and Owain nodded enthusiastically.

“No doubt tales of Lady Kamui’s endeavors will also grace the lands of my birth! I will make sure of it.”

Severa closed her eyes and looked out again, watching as Jakob’s eyes followed Owain and Inigo embraced their lords and friends; Peri sobbed in Inigo’s arms while Niles teased Owain about his stories while Leo sighed, Owain’s arms too tight around him to do anything. She took a step toward Jakob, catching his attention, and she stopped a foot in front of him, looking down. “So. This is farewell.”

“I suppose it is…”

She exhaled slowly before she embraced him in a tight hug and she felt him nestle his face into her neck again, holding her close as he touched her upper back, steadying her. She ran her fingers through his hair, appreciating the warmth that he brought her. His skin felt soft under her fingers and she sniffed once, causing him to pull back and rub away the few forming tears on her face.

“I’m sorry…” Her words were weak and, along with her own tears, she could see some running down Jakob’s face. He quickly stopped her before she could add anything else, pressing a soft kiss to her lips in an effective silencer and she tilted her head. His tears mingled with her own and she could taste the salt, somehow bitter. His hands moved to her cheeks, holding her steady, and they felt warm, calming her slightly despite the pain ripping through her limbs.

She didn’t know how she would be able to live without him, but she would try for his sake.

He eventually broke the kiss, pulling away, though his hands still held her close and he looked into her eyes, tear filled and unfocused, and she could see even more rivers flow down his face. His fingers slowly traced a line down her cheek, coming to rest around her shoulders. “Please, don’t apologize for anything. You’ve given me so much… I’ll be forever in your debt.”

“Well, consider it paid,” she sniffed out, desperately trying to smile through her heartbreak. “You’ve done just as much for me too.” She slowly grabbed his hands, letting them fall slowly from her body, and she took a step back as Jakob followed her motions with his eyes, trying to hold in his own pain as well. She paused and blinked a few times, rubbing away the tears. “Wait…” She grabbed one of the ribbons from her hair, pulling it out, causing her hair to fall to her shoulder, and she repeated the motion with the second before handing the ribbons to Jakob’s now outstretched hand. “Here. Something so that you won’t forget me.”

He paused, looking at her ribbons, before he slowly undid his own hair, handing her the silken purple ribbon that Kamui had gifted him years ago. “And to you the same…”

It felt soft against her fingers and she closed her hand around it, biting her lip before she dipped her head once; though, before she could walk over to her horse, Jakob grabbed her hand, prompting her to turn and face him, almost startled. “We… We’ll see each other again, ok? In…” He smiled sadly, closing his eyes. “In forever and a day.”

Severa smiled thinly, holding back another sob as she slowly agreed, pain burning through her arms and legs again. “Yea. I’ll be waiting.”

 After situating herself on her horse, watching as Peri ran a hand across Inigo’s horse’s mane, she looked back to Jakob, watching as Kamui placed a hand on his shoulder. The tears flowed from his face uninhibited, and she was sure she was doing the same, despite her best efforts to do otherwise.

She was leaving. She was leaving him.

She rubbed her arm once in a vain effort to push away the pain in her veins as she removed the stone from her pocket, watching as Owain and Inigo did the same. They glimmered with a foreign magic that seemed to still the air and cool her fingers. She met Jakob’s eyes, his confidence clearly wavering, and as Inigo and Owain murmured their farewells, she breathed out, mimicking the same, and the three of them smashed the orbs.

She met his gaze again, watching as the air around the three shattered into flecks of gold and light, slowly peeling away from the space around them, and she could see the land of Ylisse slowly filling in the cracks. She held Jakob’s gaze, watching as he straightened his back in a show of confidence, until he too was gone, and Ylisse fully formed in front of her.

She let out a breath, bringing forth wells of new tears, and she looked down, holding her hand to her chest, as Inigo stepped his horse forward, reigns tight in his hands. All she could feel was the pain beating through her body along with the tempo of her heart and it was all she could do not to sob aloud.

“Well, we’re home.” Owain didn’t answer, act dropped, and Inigo sighed, agreeing with a still breath.

They were indeed home, and now Nohr would only be a fond memory.

She looked up at the sun, imagining for a second that she and Jakob could see the same view before she turned back again. “Well,” she sniffled out, rubbing her eyes in a vain attempt to compose herself, “let’s start on our way. We certainly have a story to tell the others, don’t we?” She smiled at them and urged her horse onwards.

Inigo and Owain ignored her forced tone and both nodded, falling behind as they began on their final journey back home.

 

* * *

 

Bringers of Peace, Kamui and Leo

The Prince and now true Princess of Nohr worked tirelessly alongside King Xander and Queen Charlotte to bring peace and unity across the country and the world. Though they struggled at first to undo King Garon’s damage, they ended up living happily together with their growing family.

Leaders of Nohr, Xander and Charlotte

After the war, King Xander placed many changes upon the country that, while hard to implement at first, ended up only helping the country. Though he and Charlotte struggled the first few years of their relationship, they eventually fell deeper into love and ruled with joined perspectives of royalty and commoner.

Shining Flower of Hope, Elise

Though Elise struggled to overcome the grief of her sister’s death, she became an important piece in international relationships and got along splendidly with the Hoshidan royals. She and Takumi became inseparable, while she and Sakura could easily talk the night away. She quickly became an important part of both worlds, irreplaceable.

Shadowed Workers, Niles and Mozu

While never officially married, both Niles and Mozu worked to better the state of Nohr. Niles turned to Leo’s dirty tasks while Mozu worked in the light, her efforts of improving lives felt across the country. Though never working directly together, both jobs impacted the other.

Mysterious Mage, Nyx

Nyx disappeared soon after the war and her deeds soon slipped into legend. Rumors say she still lives, helping travelers and warriors alike with their struggles, though some wonder just why she still interacts with the living world.

Peaceful Soldiers, Beruka and Benny

Beruka and Benny turned to a life of farming, both able bodied and more interested in a peaceful life after the war. They had one son who was the love of their life, and they both improved from the actions of the other. Occasionally they were asked to help out with the royal family and both lent their assistance gracefully.

Ice Queen, Flora

Flora eventually took the title of Ice Tribe Leader, and she wore that title with pride, helping both Nohr and Hoshido when the need arose. Though some believe she never married, others think she eventually found that special someone, just like her friends around her.

Dedicated Cook, Peri

After Laslow’s disappearance, Peri turned from the act of war to the act of creation, becoming one of the best chefs in Nohr with Jakob’s help. She and Felicia got along well and Peri seemed to be happy that her bloodlust had broken during the war and after the deaths of her Vanguard members.

Unlucky Hero, Arthur

Arthur remained at Elise’s side until she bid him to retire. He turned to the city, offering a helping hand to anyone in need and sent letters to the castle every week, or at least the weeks he didn’t visit the royal family.

Devoted Friend, Effie

Like Arthur, Effie remained at Elise’s side, becoming a source of stability as the princess tried to recover from the war. She eventually became a general for the Nohrian army, though she prayed that such a war would never come to pass again, worried for the safety of her princess.

Studious Learner, Felicia

Though Felicia never became quite as good a servant as Jakob and Flora, she continued to serve Kamui for the rest of her life, happy merely by being at her side, though occasionally the princess would send her out to put her fighting skills to good use. She always returned back safely.

Wolfish Companion, Keaton

Keaton returned to his tribe, spreading words about the efforts of Nohr and the bravery of an army that saved the world. His sense of direction never improved, but his tribe believed in his tales and always listened for more stories about the saviors of the continent.

Knightly Assistant, Silas

Silas worked with Kamui to still the tensions of the noble families after the war, though he eventually retired and settled with his own family, putting the stress of war behind him. Though, he was regarded as a brilliant solider and trained new generations of warriors.

Caring Elder, Gunter

Though records of him are few and far between after the war, it is thought that Gunter helped support Kamui in both her familial and royal life, caring for her and her three retainers up until his death as if they were his own children. Whether this was through the love in his heart or some sort of guilt is undetermined, though scholars like to believe the former.

Testament of Strength, Jakob

Though sinking into a depression post-war for reasons scholars can’t identify, Jakob continued to be Kamui’s loyal servant until his death, which came at a time far distant from the wars that threatened his home. He was a vital piece to untangling the mess that was the noble’s network chain, and his efforts are sealed into history.

 

* * *

 

 

Divine Dreamer, Odin

Though Odin’s records disappear after the war, his contribution to the defeat of Anankos are second to none and he is lauded as an incredible warrior, able to both parry with a blade and shock foes with magic. His ecstatic nature is also duly noted as a source of inspiration for generations to come.

Enthusiastic Flirter, Laslow

Though well known for his efforts with women, Laslow was also a skilled swordsman who helped save allies, work with strategy as if from another time, and assist his liege, Xander, with a steady hand, providing the prince with a source of stability until his untimely disappearance.

Sarcastic Steel, Selena

Selena’s unique fighting style was well spread across Nohrian ranks, and her deeds and assistance to the royal family, especially the deceased princess Camilla, were spread for generations and she was lauded as a hero and warrior to look up to. None are sure as to the cause of her disappearance, only knowing that, like the others, it affected the entire Vanguard.


	26. A Time to Pass Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIKE its a double update  
> I couldn't leave an ending like THAT now, could I?  
> Of course, every rose has its thorns.  
> As promised, here is the folder for my comments on the story: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8NvVM24y7Q9UlcyME5qTjhneVk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCIxBk1riiU for viewing, along with Kaine, like last time. Softer songs.

The Ylissean wind felt foreign on Severa’s skin and she turned her head, watching her undone hair float in the breeze that carried the smells and touches of the cities it had passed. Various bugs also flew in the air: bees, butterflies, things of that sort, things that didn’t often reside within Nohr. The sunlight also felt harsh on her skin and she wondered if she had gotten drastically paler since arriving in Nohr. She vaguely remembered Leo and Felicia complaining of sunburn while in Hoshido, but that seemed so long ago now.

Though it was probably only less than a year ago. Too much had happened, too much she would have to remember, write down, and file away as the past. Too much she had left behind… Though she had left just as much behind in Ylisse, things she had promised she would return to, things she would promise to not abandon.

Perhaps it would be worth it. Maybe.

They stopped a few nights in various small villages on their way to the capital city, though they spent most days outside, memorizing the sight of the Ylissean sky again, stars that they had forgotten the locations of, constellations that they had forgot existed.

“Oh, my mother had so many stories about that one,” Owain commented, pointing to a flower in the sky to their right, and Severa turned her head as she lay in her bedroll, a gift from the last village for their repair help. Owain let his hand fall as Inigo also focused on the stars in question. “She said a princess gave it to a king and he, believing she was fully in love with him, proposed the next day. But she turned him down,” he continued, voice thinning, “and his heart broke.”

“Isn’t there a better version of that story?” Severa huffed, turning over as she played with the ends of her hair. “Why not have her tell him the truth?”

“Yea, my father said that the true end of the story was that she was afraid that he loved her for her status and not who she was, y’know, to unit countries and stuff. Something that Plegia wanted to do,” the myrmidon continued, and he leaned up on an elbow. “Eventually they told each other the truth and got married.”

“It seems so… cliché compared to the real thing,” Inigo sighed and brushed his bangs out of his eyes while Severa silently agreed. “Life is… harder than that. Sometimes apologies can’t make up for everything.”

“We’ll have to apologize to our friends and parents, huh?” Owain’s quiet sentence brought Severa back to the present and she sighed, fingers touching the grass to distract herself.

“Maybe our parents have already moved on with their lives. We didn’t exactly stick around long anyway…” Severa muttered, muted voice barely hiding her disappointment.

“Yea, but I want to at least tell my mom I’m ok,” Owain sighed, flipping onto his back again while Inigo slowly agreed.

“I don’t think my dad will have worried so much, but my mom…”

“I guess both of my parents will be worried, but they’ll hide it, probably,” Severa continued smoothly. “If my math’s right… Our parents should have already had the us of this time. They’ll have other things to worry about that children that are adults.”

Inigo shuddered with exaggeration and smiled at Owain. “Wow, I wonder what that’s going to be like. Seeing my younger self… That’s just crazy.”

“I hope my mom shared stories of our bravery! Though if she didn’t, guess I’ll have to take that upon myself!” Owain laughed a few times, bringing a smile to Severa’s face despite her heart still hurting.

“Well, if there’s any people willing to pick on the me of this time, I’ll put them into their places and make them rue the day they decided to spread shame to my family.” Severa crossed her arms, still lying down comfortably, and breathed out slowly. “Though, we have a long way to go before it starts feeling like home again…”

“Well, it won’t take too long. We have people here willing to make us feel more comfortable, right?”

Inigo’s words ended up being right. As soon as they had passed the gate in Ylisse, Cynthia and Vaike, the two designated border guards for the day it seemed, pounced upon the trio and, in Cynthia’s case, burst out into tears.

“Oh. My. GODS. You guys have been gone for so LONG and you didn’t even send a letter! I was so worried about you!” She pulled away from Owain’s arms as he laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “What happened? Even Tharja and Noire couldn’t get ahold of you!”

“Well, it’s a grandiose story that I should definitely tell you over a fine meal. We’re starving!”

Since it was Vaike and Cynthia leading the way (apparently Cynthia had quickly ascended the ranks and was now nearing commander rank of the Ylissean army, something Severa hadn’t expected at all), the people that watched them seemed to realize that the trio were of some merit. Occasionally they pointed out that the warriors must be part of the group that had defeated Grima, though Severa ignored those comments, her rank burning embarrassment into her skin.

Chrom and Lissa welcomed them with open arms, the latter sobbing aloud at Owain’s return. Inigo and Severa felt slightly out of place, no parents of their own currently residing in Ylisse, but Chrom made them feel welcome all the same.

“If you’re wondering where the others are, I have some information,” Chrom explained after he, Lissa, their spouses, Cynthia, and the trio sat down for dinner. Owain decided to sit between Cynthia and his younger self, Eudes, who seemed ecstatic to learn stories about the ‘mythical land of songs and dragons’. Severa turned her head at Chrom’s comment and Inigo leaned up in his chair.

“From what Cynthia has told us, Laurent is currently studying, or teaching, at one of the universities in Valm, though there’s lots of others that she doesn’t know the location of,” Inigo explained thinly, and Cynthia nodded her head.

“Last I heard from Kjelle, she was traveling around, Noire and Brady were going to villages to help with healing, Nah was doing whatever, Yarne was trying to find more taguel with Panne…” She shrugged before stuffing some food into her mouth. “I figure Noire and Brady will be the easiest to get ahold of.”

“Lucina and Gerome are currently residing in Wyvern Valley,” Chrom added carefully, “while Morgan is assisting with some Plegian politics.”

“Jeez, everyone got busy,” Severa commented lowly before she picked around with her food, voice low and monotone.

“Everyone’s grown up, dear,” Lissa sighed, leaning her hand in her cheek, and Severa looked up to study the princess more. If she could remember correctly, Lissa had only been two years her senior. Now she would be… about twenty-six. She seemed more similar to the Lissa she remembered from the future now.

Whether that was bad or good, she couldn’t tell.

“Well, enough about us, what did you guys do?” Cynthia broke the silence, looking toward Owain for guidance. “You must have had a lot of adventures since you were gone for six years.” He laughed loudly, striking a pose though sitting down, a wide grin gracing his face.

“Ah yes, a tale of how we saved a world from a devious, scheming dragon!”

“ _That’s_ hardly even scratching the surface,” Inigo laughed and Severa couldn’t disagree. “Really, we entered servitude for some princes and princesses, fought in a war, and then defeated another dragon. We were recruited because we helped defeat Grima, so that person thought we would be a good fit for the job.”

“Another war? You hardly deserved that,” Lissa pouted while Chrom nodded his head slowly, agreeing. “But I guess you guys wouldn’t be able to turn away someone in need.”

“Well, what else could we do?” Severa sighed, picking at her food again. “We don’t really belong in this world… We also know what it’s like to lose everything. We couldn’t have that happen to others.”

“Well, I hope the journey was worth it,” Chrom added, glancing toward the mercenary, and Inigo and Owain met gazes before looking at Severa again. She winced, feeling the mood drop, and Lissa tapped Chrom’s shoulder, obviously catching that there was something the three didn’t want to mention.

“It was. We saved the world. Made friends.” Inigo sighed and tapped the sword on his belt. “Got other goods.”

“I see you’ve also changed as people. Matured.”

Severa nodded at Chrom’s words. “How could we not? We were there for almost six years.”

“Six years…” Cynthia sighed and kicked out her feet, prompting Eudes to do the same. “It seems so long, but at the same time it’s nothing at all.”

“Yea… I guess it is…”

She had only known Jakob for those six years, and yet he meant so much to her that her heart felt torn into pieces as she remained away from his side. She wondered if Lissa or Cynthia could sense that something had happened besides a war and a dragon, though she expected Chrom would be dense as ever. She eventually forced some food down her throat, though later Lissa cornered her in a hallway, commenting on her lack of appetite.

“From what Inigo and Owain have said, you guys haven’t had many good meals, so I’m surprised you ate as little as you did. Surely your metabolism should still be high considering your energy output.” The princess shifted her stance and placed her hands on her hips in what she probably thought was a commandeering position. “What’s going on? Are you sick?”

“No, I’m fine,” Severa admitted carefully, making sure to keep the edge out of her voice. “It’s just… I never grew up eating Ylissean food and after traveling to Nohr, well, it’s been a while…” She rubbed the back of her neck.

“You’re telling me Cordelia never taught you Ylissean dishes?” Lissa mumbled, raising an eyebrow, and Severa stiffened. “That sounds fake.”

“Well, I’m still settling I guess, having a royal meal is… I’m not used to it.”

“You’ve barely been speaking as well,” Lissa continued with confusion, “and you hardly seem the same person that I fought with those years ago. I don’t want to press you and make you uncomfortable, but you should know that keeping thoughts in isn’t the best… I know I’m not your mother, not even your aunt, but… On some level I feel responsible for you guys… It’s partially my fault you got into the mess…”

Severa felt guilt at those words, but waved her hand to dissuade the princess. “It’s not your fault. You were the reason we were able to survive as long as we did in the future. We should be thanking you.”

Lissa breathed out again and closed her eyes, rubbing her brow. “You… You’re almost unrecognizable, Severa. If it weren’t for your hair and your face, I would have thought you were someone else.”

“Things happen. It has almost been ten years after all…” Severa rubbed her eyes, suddenly tired, and Lissa decided that pressing her wouldn’t be the best choice.

“I’m not an expert at mental health like Libra and Miriel are, but it does seem like you’re suffering from some sort of depression. Inigo and Owain have told me they’re worried about you and that you seem listless…”

“It’s just me moving on. They’d know,” Severa assured her before taking a step forward, hoping to end the conversation before she could dredge up more sour memories, but Lissa blocked her path.

“Please… When you reach your parents, and I know you will, please ask for their help.”

Severa lay in her bed that night, turning the winged clips over and over in her fingers, watching as the light from the moon reflected off of the gilded metal before she pressed it to her lips, imagining for a second that she could feel Jakob next to her.

It wouldn’t be good to hold those thoughts and memories so dearly, she knew; they would only hinder her process of moving on. Inigo had told her as much when they had arrived in one of the bigger cities near the capital, and he had shared that he was worried about her.

“You’ve been so quiet and you haven’t really been interacting with us… I know you’re moving on and all that, but it does make us worried, you know?”

She had brushed him off, saying that there was no need to get worked up about anything, so that was why she had been so quiet. Though, of course, there was a certain numbness in her heart that she felt she couldn’t overcome even if she tried, so she merely let her body carry through the motions of daily life. She kept herself at top shape, of course, even if she didn’t go about it with quite the level of detail she had before.

At least she knew Jakob was alive and well. She didn’t have to leave a body behind, like with Princess Camilla, though knowing the princess hadn’t regretted her own death somehow made that realization easier.

She sniffed and wiped away a sudden tear on her cheek, glistening on her finger before she rolled over and tried to complete at least one night of fitful sleep.

Owain decided to remain in Ylisse to pursue his own ranks in the army alongside Cynthia. Chrom had already decided to raise him some ranks, knowing he had served a prince, fought a war, and defeated another dragon, though apparently his real test would take place in a week or so. Inigo figured he would travel onward to Ferox to find his parents, though he decided to take a different direction than Severa would be doing.

“I’d like to find Morgan after all and I think that’d be a bit out of your way, so feel free to go separate of me,” Inigo told her a few mornings later while Severa was figuring out her own travel schedule, and she looked up with intrigue.

“Why are you going to find Morgan? I thought you’d rather go off to visit Lucina and Gerome.” Inigo shrugged at that.

“It’s high time we caught up. I asked Xander for a book on strategies, so I figured…”

“Ah yea, that’s something that would be useful, I guess,” she answered quickly, and his lips thinned into a line.

“Will you be ok traveling by yourself?” Inigo’s voice seemed strangely caring and Severa narrowed her eyes at the tone of it.

“Yea? I served Camilla for six years, I can take care of myself just fine,” she huffed back, shoving something into a bag, and Inigo smiled before patting her on the shoulder.

“There’s the Severa I was missing.” She couldn’t quite figure out what he was implying and didn’t bother to as as he turned his back to her and walked away.

She clutched Jakob’s ribbon in her hands, trying to find comfort in the touch.

He set off a few days later, while Lissa and Chrom gathered the rest of the story from Owain and Severa.

“Well, Lord Leo didn’t quite take to me first, I could tell, but I wasn’t going to give up so easily! I had a mission to complete!”

“You were like a thorn in his side,” Severa sighed, resting her face in her hands, and took a sip of her drink. “Camilla accepted me right away because of my sword talent. Xander did the same for Inigo too. Too bad you weren’t a myrmidon then.”

“W-well,” Owain stuttered for a few seconds, trying to form an appropriate response while Chrom smiled at his nephew, “the missions were no problem! They were grand journeys all of their own!”

“I can’t believe you served members of a royal family,” Lissa sighed, shoulders sagging. “Shouldn’t you have been on equal rank?”

“Well, we couldn’t exactly tell them we were from another world, could we? Though Severa had other ideas.”

“H-hey!” Severa flushed quickly, shoving Owain’s shoulder with her own. “That was for other reasons! It got to that point…”

“You told him before we were supposed to! What if he had told Lady Kamui and ruined something? You know how close they are.”

“Y-yea, of course I do…”

“I didn’t expect Severa of all people to break a rule like that,” Chrom muttered in thought, and Cynthia nodded her head, crossing her arms. “Who did you tell? A prince? A mage?”

“No… Not exactly…”

“A fellow retainer, to be precise.” Owain crossed his arms as well, sighing as he tilted his head. “Though I suppose maybe it did help in the end, but it was a great chance to take…”

“How did you get the army to help you defeat the dragon, though?” Lissa questioned quickly, and Owain waved a hand in the air, striking yet another one of his poses.

“Princess Kamui and Lady Azura had already held some missing pieces. They knew King Garon was possessed, so once we told them there was a dragon behind it, they figured out it was the dragon doing the possessing. After that, we didn’t need to pretend we were fighting for the king and we used the war to draw out the dragon, killing it. Though, we lost ladies Azura and Camilla along with one of our soldiers… And High Prince Ryouma of Hoshido died before we could tell him the truth…”

“At least you saved the world,” Chrom assured Owain, but he merely sighed and hung his head.

“Yes, but at what cost? Gods, it broke my heart betraying Hoshido, knowing that they were doing nothing wrong. And then, we couldn’t tell our lieges anything! Not even that their world was being ruined by a dragon, not when we had no reason to believe they knew of such things and would believe us in turn.”

“From our point of view, it seemed like you did the right thing,” Lissa assured him, but Severa shook her head.

“At least when we were fighting risen we knew the other side was just… evil. Here? We were fighting for and against people with needs… We couldn’t betray the Nohrian royal family, not after learning what they had been through, but Hoshido also did nothing wrong…”

“Sometimes that happens,” Chrom murmured sadly, rubbing his neck. “My father incorrectly persecuted Plegia, and that led to years of discontent. Yet, there was no reason for them to retaliate, allowing a dragon to try and destroy the world. Sometimes, things are not so black and white.”

“Just a shade of grey,” Owain figured, casually quoting Azura’s song, and Severa couldn’t help but agree.

She finished packing the next day and Cynthia, Owain, and Lissa saw her off, Chrom apparently too busy with his young children to do much. Lissa lifted Eudes up and he waved a hand at her.

She felt a chill run through her spine at that and she wondered, just for a second, what it would have been like to raise a family with…

No. She had to push those thoughts away. She could cherish the past, but she couldn’t yearn for more, that was what they had agreed on, essentially.

She had to pass those memories away.

The journey through the rest of Ylisse didn’t seem too difficult. Chrom had given her the best map to her father and mother’s house, a journey that took her through some of Ylisse’s towns where he knew Shepherds resided. Sully tended to some recruiting in the first town and she met with her and had a night of dinner, spreading her tale of other-world traveling. Sully seemed interested enough and mentioned that she was glad she and Virion had managed to divert Roseanne from delving into another war. After asking why Sully wasn’t currently living there, Severa learned that they spent time in both Ylisse and Roseanna across the years.

“Virion’s doing some royal duty or other, so I figured I’d speed up the training process here. Donnel recommended this village after traveling through here once, so I figured I’d give it a shot.” She gave some tips on Kjelle’s location and Severa left the next day with a lighter heart.

She slowly came across the rest of the Shepherds, whether tall tales from the villagers or the soldiers in the flesh. Miriel and Ricken, working together on some sort of experiment while Panne was away, informed her of the recent political changes, all good, and said that Plegia would be a good vacation spot had she ever the want to continue seeing the current world. Kellam mentioned that lots of mages were working toward scientific breakthroughs and that he was pretty astonished at them. Stahl commented that they had found a way to improve crop production, so he was grateful for that.

Slowly, slowly as she continued on, she felt herself regretting her choice less and less.

This world really _was_ her home, and she loved it with all her heart.

She only regretted that her world demanded that she give up her other loved ones.

Severa reached the Ferox border before the snow began to melt. The border guard didn’t recognize her at first, but after mentioning she was the daughter of Lon’qu, of sorts, they let her through, probably seeing the traits of him in her face and hair. She was often told, in the future past, that while she had her mother’s face, she had aspects of her father’s eyes and lips and a bit of his jawline as well. She felt confident that she didn’t take enough out of one or the other and left a good balance, though she certainly looked lots like her mother when Anankos had turned her hair red.

It had been awkward at first, but she had grown to appreciate it. She wondered what Jakob would think if he saw her now, then quickly brushed away the thought, causing Raimi to wonder if she was cold before Severa quickly answered that she had grown up in Ferox and spent time in a cooler place as well, so she was ok.

Basilio was residing at the boarder for one reason or another and welcomed her with open arms, declaring that Lon’qu and Cordelia had been besides themselves with worry when she hadn’t showed up for the yearly meeting, though Severa huffed and said that they had their own family, and own Severa, to take care of, probably. If she had done the math right.

It took the better part of the week to travel to her parent’s house, distant enough from the Ferox capital and nestled in the wooded area near a meadow of sorts. It seemed to be in the same location as the future; she hadn’t told her parents where their house had been back then in the future, but she supposed they probably had the idea of where to build before they had met her. It had been her father’s idea, she remembered, so she was relieved that her presence at least hadn’t changed any of that.

It looked just like how she remembered it: pristine, new, shaped just so… It almost brought a tear to her eye. If she imagined it close enough, she could remember her mother’s grave to the right, near the flower bed.

She had died first, causing her father no end of grief, but here, in this time, they were alive. Alive and well with no dragon able to threaten their existences.

She dismounted, making sure to tether her horse to the fence before she stepped up to the door, slowly rehearsing just exactly what she would say to them.

‘Hey sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but I figured you’d have your own lives, so I went on with mine’?

‘I just helped save a world for a bit, but I’m back now, you don’t need to worry’?

‘I’ve had my heart broken a few times, but now I’m ok’?

Definitely not that last one. Maybe she’d just do a mix.

Before she could knock on the door, she heard a smash and jumped, though it just seemed to be a dish of some sort because she could hear her father slowly chastise someone else.

She inhaled sharply at the voice that came next, and her sword accidently hit the door as she jerked back, causing her father (not her father now) to stop talking and usher the other voice to wait for a second.

She stepped back sharply as he yanked the door open, sword ready in his hand, but as soon as his eyes landed on her figure he froze, eyes widening. “Severa? What… What are you doing here?”

“Uh… Just checking in, I guess?” She shrugged, voice unsure, but before she could add on anything that pertained to her journey, saving the world, and her own life, he set the sword roughly to the side and embraced her in a tight hug, nearly crushing the air out of her lungs.

“Gods, your mother was so worried,” he sighed almost angrily, and Severa reluctantly wrapped her arms around him, holding back a sniff. He no longer seemed the green (or at least not as talented) soldier she had met during the war. He now seemed fully fit into his role as the Khan’s right hand man, and she could hear it in his tone. “She thought something bad had happened to you, but after hearing from Olivia, we figured you, Inigo, and Owain had gone somewhere distant.” He pulled back and held her at arm’s length, observing her face. “It’s been a while.”

“Yea. You look older.” He rolled his eyes at that, but she could see the hints of a smile on his face. “Though, I guess I probably do too.”

“Daddy, who’s that?” Severa inhaled sharply at the young voice coming from the dining room, and she looked over Lon’qu’s shoulder to see…

Her. Or rather, her younger self, probably no more than four years old. She held a piece of bread in her hand, likely dropped onto the floor with the dish, and she stared at Severa like any four year old probably would, with confusion, but also a hint of intrigue.

Lon’qu turned to allow his (really his, this time) daughter to get a full view of Severa. “This is Severa. She’s one of the special warriors I told you about. She really helped your mom and I get out of some tough scrapes.” He looked back at Severa with the hint of a smile. “Isn’t that right?”

“Well, tough for _you_ maybe,” Severa teased, causing his daughter to giggle. She took a step closer and kneeled, her sword touching the ground carefully. “What’s your name? I’m Severa.”

“I’m Luna,” she mumbled, crossing her arms behind her back as she toed the floor with embarrassment. “Mom says it’s because she liked to look at the moon and it’s pretty.”

“Pretty like you?” Severa prompted, causing the girl to blush.

“Haha, maybe. I think the moon is pretty too.”

Severa could appreciate that they decided to name her other self after something else and not use her own. She wondered if the other parents had done that; Owain’s younger self had been named Eudes after all.

Cordelia returned home near dinnertime, likely having to deal with some sort of international politics, and she nearly sobbed aloud as she saw Severa sitting at the dinner table with Lon’qu and Luna, food already prepared due to the extra help. “Severa! I was so worried about you! I thought something had happened and I _know_ that really I don’t need to be policing you or anything, but I was just so worried that you’d get yourself into trouble and do something and-“

“Mom, mom, calm down, I’m ok,” Severa sighed against her grip, patting Cordelia carefully on the back. “It was just a few years journey. Can’t hang around you forever, right?”

Cordelia leaned back and wiped the few tears from her face, sniffing quietly. “I suppose you’re right, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying.”

“Well, now that she’s back, you don’t need to do that anymore,” Lon’qu murmured from his spot at the table while Luna looked on, shoving a carrot into her mouth.

“Worry is bad.”

Cordelia sighed at that, but smiled and agreed. “Well, now this is apparently old news,” she commented, sending a raised eyebrow to Lon’qu’s directly, she moved over to Luna and placed a kiss on her forehead. “How have you been doing? What were you doing those six years?” Cordelia added before she slipped into her own seat next to Severa and Luna. “Oh, did you help with dinner, Severa?”

“Yea. Used a recipe I learned from my travels. Hope it tastes good.”

“If you made it, I’m sure it will,” Cordelia smiled, cutting into the cabbage-wrapped steak.

Dinner proceeded with Severa informing her past-parents of her travels to Nohr and how she saved the world, carefully keeping out details of the deaths and her romance. She didn’t want Luna exposed to those things quiet yet, and it wasn’t exactly her place to push it either.

“Wow, you fought _another_ dragon?” Luna’s mouth hung open and her plate lie ignored. Severa nodded her head, leaning in closer.

“I’ll tell you a secret: it was a lot easier than Grima. He was so small. He also wasn’t very smart.” Luna laughed, moving her vegetables around on her plate.

“A small dragon… Like Nowi?”

“He was a bit bigger than that, I think, but Grima was bigger. But, now that they’re both gone, everyone is safe.”

“Wow, I wanna fight a dragon someday…” Luna mused, before Lon’qu shook his head.

“Last time you and Nah had a squabble you ended up getting hurt. Wait until you’re older, then we’ll think about it.” Luna pouted at her father’s words, but didn’t seem to get hung up on it for too long. Eventually, she tired enough from the talks and Lon’qu hurried to put her to bed while Cordelia sat on the chairs near the fireplace, the wood crackling with heat.

“I’m going to assume that your journey was more complicated than you made it out to be,” her mother murmured in a low voice. “That’s usually how things are. Even our own war was dulled down for the general populace to digest.”

“I bet it was,” Severa answered back before leaning on her arm, letting out a long sigh. “Though yea, there’s… a lot more to the story.”

“What about the royal family? How did they deal with the after-war?” Cordelia turned as Severa shifted again, setting her jaw in thought.

“Well, Xander seemed to be getting things under control when I left, though Takumi was struggling. Hoshido still holds some animosity to Nohr, but that’s all the same. Camilla had a… beautiful funeral, but Beruka couldn’t handle being in the capital anymore… Some just couldn’t bear to be close to that place…”

“How did you feel about leaving? Did everyone agree with your choice?” Cordelia paused, another question on her tongue, as she no doubt saw Severa’s expression shift from objectivity to guilt and pain. “Severa? Is something wrong?”

“It hurt to leave, mother… It wasn’t like time traveling at all, where we were only leaving behind locations and memories that were almost destroyed…” Severa sniffed and wiped at her eyes, leaving her hand in front of her cheek. “Here… We left behind friends, allies, connections… I even left…”

Cordelia leaned back as Severa’s voice slowly faded to silence and let her expression mirror her empathy. “I felt like you were leaving out a gap of your story… When you spoke of your battle partner, it seemed like… You omitted things, especially after your entrance to… the other country.” Cordelia shifted to get a better look at her future daughter, prompting Severa to look at her, firelight twinkling in her tears. She sighed, long and soft, and Severa blinked. “I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. During my days when I felt a certain affinity to Chrom, it hurt when he chose someone over me. Even though I hadn’t been terribly close to my squadron either, when they were killed it felt like a hole had opened up in my heart. If you need to confide in me, please, don’t hesitate.”

“No one chose someone else over me… If anything, they chose me over others,” Severa huffed, thinking of Camilla’s sacrifice. “If I… If Jakob and I hadn’t…” She paused, unsure of how to word it. “Camilla wouldn’t have died…”

“You and Jakob were…?”

Severa figured her mother had already put the pieces together, but of course she would prefer a vocal acknowledgement, and she bit her lip, heart already in pain. “We were… romantically inclined…” Cordelia dipped her head, though Severa had turned away at that point, refusing to meet her eye. “There were only about… six other people in relationships, but unlike them, I refused to be in one at first… I had to return to Ylisse after all, so I was… scared. I was scared to become attached and then lose him.” She sniffed, hugging her chest as the memories slowly edged forth from the recesses of her brain. Cordelia ran a hand up her daughter’s arm, trying to comfort her in some small way. “I rejected him first, even though, at that point… I knew that I loved him. I thought that by doing that, I’d spare him the pain of me leaving. It… didn’t quite work. It ended up hurting a lot,” she added with a forced laugh, “and seeing him go through that false pain made me confess properly… I suppose the rest is history.”

“Oh Severa, I’m so sorry…” Cordelia murmured, voice a tingle against Severa’s ear, and she sniffed at her mother’s pitiful words. “Even thinking of parting from your father… It would break my heart… And yet you’ve arrived here.”

“Lissa was worried sick about me at first,” Severa admitted with a careful tone and she shrugged. “Those days are a blur to me anyway. All I remember is arriving in the capital, really. I guess I was still going through the first few stages of grief.”

“You probably won’t recover until a year or so from now,” Cordelia added, and Severa turned to face her, face blank. “It… It took me a while to get over my squadron. I can only imagine losing the one that you love… Well,” she smiled, a thin line, “I can already see that you’re still struggling.”

“I almost expected you to say that I couldn’t have truly loved him since it’d only been about three years since I’d met him,” Severa commented embarrassed, a bit of a hollow laugh to her voice, and Cordelia shook her head.

“I think Lon’qu had fallen for me within a year. It was only due to my obstinacy with Chrom that it took me longer.”

Severa exhaled, leaning back again as she looked into the warmth of the fire, reminded of her days both in the fortress and the castle, and she remembered the time Felicia had accidently dropped a rag into the furnace, causing Jakob to fly into a rage and grab Flora to alleviate the damage. Beruka hadn’t cared much, merely relaying a message to Camilla, while she and Jakob chewed Felicia out. It hadn’t been the kindest thing to do at the time, but the maid had at least retaliated, eventually driving the three into an even deeper argument.

It was strange how she could look at those memories with a sort of fondness and she closed her eyes, letting them bask over her.

“Do you think you will ever be able to move on, Severa?” Cordelia asked with measured breath, and Severa leaned her head to the side.

“I eventually moved on from your death.” Cordelia seemed to be put off by that statement, but Severa continued on. “It may take years, but I know I’ll persevere. Maybe I’ll be less of a person than I was before, but I’ll still be here. And maybe, someday… I’ll no longer hurt when I think of his face.” She exhaled slowly, leaning back against the seat. “We promised each other that much…”

Cordelia was silent for a few moments, perhaps debating Severa’s words, and she shifted. “You… You’re so much stronger than I am… I’m proud, but it also makes me somehow jealous.”

“I’m not strong… I just survive.”

The next weeks passed quickly, like a grey blur. Severa gained access to her funds again, with her father’s help, and she eventually fell into a pattern of taking care of Luna while her mother and father were called away for one reason or another, usually dealing with new army members or some political scuffle between Flavia and Basilio. Luna eventually took to calling her Auntie, and it made Severa feel somehow like she was part of the family again. Eventually, Lon’qu suggested that she think about building a house with her funds. “It doesn’t seem like you want to travel wildly again, not after your adventures, but if you do, you’d always have somewhere to return to.”

She didn’t know how she’d feel about finally settling down, but the idea did appeal to her in some way, something to do and keep her mind off of other issues, she supposed. She sent some letters to Morgan asking for mathematical help, and received some enthusiastic replies.

“Before I get started on that stuff, I want to visit Noire, Gerome, and Lucina.” She stretched as her mother stirred the soup in the pot, keeping an eye on Luna as she flipped pages of a book. “I got in contact with Laurent and he said he was too busy to warrant a visit, not with his job, but he sent his well wishes. Decided to wait for Owain’s version of our adventures to Nohr before he wanted mine. Dunno why.”

“It’ll take a while to reach Roseanne,” her mother spoke out carefully while Luna shut the book, ready for lunch. “But I suppose it’s about time you connected with them again. I know they set out to find you when you first disappeared, so I’m sure it was a relief to get your letter. Not to mention, it would be good for your mental health to see them again.”

“They looked for us, huh…?”

The journey wasn’t a difficult one. She took her horse and followed villager directions when she needed it. The air was clean and crisp and she only had one or two bandit problems that necessitated a physical fight; most brigands who looked at her seemed to sense that she was a hardened soldier and steered clear.

She supposed if Jakob had been there, he would have been beside himself with worry, getting mad at her for traveling alone, even if it was her own world, own countries.

When she arrived at wyvern valley, it took her a solid hour or so to locate Gerome’s house. She figured Morgan had also helped him build that one, considering the structural integrity. Gerome had never been that good at math, but at least he could do physical work. It seemed nice, homely… Familial. She bit her lip, shoving down the envious feelings that burst in her heart, and slowly walked up to the door, knocking sharply.

A few murmurs came forth, Lucina’s voice, but pitched up, and eventually the door opened to reveal Severa’s friend, face slowly forming a smile. “Ah, you’ve finally arrived.” She embraced the mercenary quickly, though Severa naturally dissuaded the action.

“Yea, what, did you think I couldn’t handle myself?” Lucina laughed at her reply, absent the natural venom, and she pulled back.

“I’m sure you handled yourself quite well if Owain’s words are anything to go by.”

Severa eventually learned the full story of Lucina’s own travels. She had arrived at Gerome’s house, worried about her cousin and friends missing, and though it took some convincing at first, they and Morgan set off to find their friends.

“We ended up arriving in the southern continent past Ylisse,” Lucina explained and she sighed, hands on her lap. “Of course, you three weren’t there, but we did learn a lot about that country. Though, when it was time to return back here, we didn’t miss that chance.”

“I suppose I’ll have to sit down for a long talk and hear the other sides,” Severa smiled and Lucina agreed. “I’m sure Owain’s disclosed his full details about our adventures in Nohr.”

“Oh yes, many pages. He’s quite the writer.” Lucina took a sip of her drink before Severa rubbed the back of her neck. “He also mentioned the friends you had made. One in particular for you, though he certainly lavished this Leo figure.”

“Leo, yea…” Severa gulped, wondering why Owain mentioned her relationship with Jakob in the letter. He wasn’t exactly quite about things like that, though she could at least trust him to not make anything too detailed.

Though of course, that night had been between just the two of them.

“He mentioned that, even now, he misses his friends from Nohr, but knows that, due to his help, they’re in a much better place than they would have been,” Lucina commented carefully before she stood up and began refilling the tea kettle. “He and I are similar in that regard. Though we left our own world behind, we saved this one, so our efforts and memories were not in vain.”

Severa agreed, at least in part. They didn’t have many people to leave behind in the bad future, or none that they knew of at least. However in Nohr, they had to leave behind so many friends, so many potential memories that would now never be created. “I know I couldn’t have chosen to stay there, seeing everyone again makes me remember that. But…” she trailed off and Lucina looked up, a strangely knowing expression on her face. “I still can’t help but regret… that Jakob and I weren’t born in the same world… The same time…”

“Perhaps this was merely a stepping stone for you,” Lucina murmured, making her way over to sit next to her friend once again, placing a hand on her shoulder in a hopefully comforting way. “Maybe you’ll find someone here even better, someone that your previous relationship has helped you prepare for.”

“Maybe…” Severa mused, but she bit her lip. “But not now… Not for a long while…”

“Of course.”

Eventually their conversation turned back toward Lucina, Gerome, and their adventure. “So, I guess it’s not really that surprising that you and Gerome are together now, but I wish I could have seen the wedding,” Severa sighed with mirth, sending a smirk Lucina’s way as she flushed.

“Well, it wasn’t a big event… Just close friends. Gerome and I have never been one for big events, not like you and Owain.”

“How’s Minerva doing? I suppose you’ve gotten along with her?” Severa tilted her head as Lucina’s face fell sadly.

“She died before our journey. Gerome said she died peacefully, though, and he was relieved that she had at least experienced some peace at the end of her life…” She shrugged. “Our wyvern now is Michalis. He’s… quite the handful, but he’s learning.”

“Like a baby, I’d think. Or a toddler.”

Severa didn’t know why Lucina smiled strangely at that, but she stood up and disappeared into one of the back rooms while Severa busied herself with the now prepared tea, taking a sip.

Compared to Jakob’s… it felt bland, tasteless. She almost winced at the thought and had to set the cup down, hardly touched.

Lucina returned a few minutes later and Severa gripped the edge of her chair with surprise as she noticed her friend carrying… a child. A baby. “W… What? When were you going to tell me you two had a kid!?”

“It didn’t quite come up, and she was sleeping, so I figured it would be best that we leave her,” Lucina explained with even breaths before Severa moved her chair over to sit closer. “But it was about time that I had to check up on her.”

“She’s cute. Quiet. Like Gerome.”

“Yes, but I think she takes after my father in some ways,” Lucina continued, gesturing. “Her hair’s pretty dark.”

“What did you guys name her? Something sappy?” Severa teased before she looked over the child, feeling yet again the snap of bitter envy claw at her heart before she was able to push it away in favor of congratulations.

“We decided to name her Zinnia after the flower,” Lucina continued before passing her daughter (her daughter!) off to Severa, and she shifted to hold the child comfortably. “We weren’t quite sure what to name her until she was born, we were rather lax with the naming process. At least, that’s what Morgan said about it.”

“She looks like a good mix of you two. I guess there’s no question of her lineage,” Severa laughed, hoping she wouldn’t disturb the child somehow. “Though, has her brand showed up?”

“It showed up a month ago, her left shoulder blade,” Lucina explained carefully. “I didn’t expect it to show up so young, not when Aunt Lissa had problems with hers and Owain’s also surfaced rather late, but it appeared so early.”

“Kinda like yours I guess? That’s what Chrom said anyway.”

“When were you two talking about brands?” Lucina leaned back after accepting her child back and Severa shrugged.

“Owain brought up how it felt weird to not have the brand, and it just devolved from there.”

Gerome eventually returned home, evident by the screeching wyvern and tremulous landing; the scrapes still rung in Severa’s ears as Gerome opened the door, wyvern gone to the wind. “S-Severa?” Gerome seemed startled that she had arrived, even though surely he too must have gotten the letter she sent. Lucina stood up and walked over to him, placing a kiss on his cheek as she passed off their child.

“We’ve been talking for the past hour or so. She was curious about our travels to the southern continent.”

“Oh, that.” Gerome flushed at the mention of that, but he recovered quickly enough to where Severa could ignore that it happened. “I thought Morgan would have been more enthusiastic to talk about it.”

“Well, Severa’s here now, so I figured it would be a good conversation.”

Severa stood up and cheekily rubbed her elbow into Gerome’s side. “Ehhhh, cute kid you’ve got there, masked dude.”

“Stop it, I haven’t worn that mask in years.” Gerome sighed and eventually sat down after situating Zinnia while preparing the main dish. “Even you’ve changed, Severa. I guess we’re all finally adults.”

“We’ve been adults for years too, Gerome,” Severa countered quickly, but couldn’t help but agree.

She explained her side of the story to Gerome (since he’d already read Owain’s recount) and he seemed to feel some pity for her after she explained the various less-than-ideal things that had happened, but he didn’t seem too perturbed by them.

“I didn’t expect you to fall for a guy,” Gerome admitted carefully while Lucina bit into her meal suddenly, surprised that he would start the conversation so riskily, and Severa narrowed her eyes with a bit of confusion.

“Ok…? I didn’t expect you to ever get the guts to have a kid, but there she is.”

Lucina chuckled at that while Gerome shook his head, refusing to comment further.

“I didn’t expect to fall in love with anyone either,” Severa admitted while she turned back to her meal, “not when I had to return back to Ylisse, but it… eventually happened.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead while Gerome looked to the side, guilty that he had dredged up further painful memories. “Though, I guess I don’t regret it.”

“It’d be hard to regret anything we’ve done, not while we shouldn’t even be alive,” Gerome admitted carefully, and both Severa and Lucina agreed.

She spent the next few days at their house, slowly, slowly breaking through the cloud of grey that persisted over her moods. Lucina had probably sensed that, and the two of them were constantly outside doing one thing or another while Zinnia sat in a chair, content to merely sleep or watch them with muted curiosity. Gerome had work half of the time, but spent the other half going over new techniques with Severa, one of the few other Shepherds who had managed to gain skill with each weapon.

She certainly enjoyed the time she spent with her two friends and, when it came time to return back to Ferox, she felt sadness, longing.

Though, unlike last time, she could easily write them letters and communicate whenever she pleased.

She stopped at Noire’s place on the way back; apparently she and Brady had settled from their journeys and were now focusing on merely living their lives peacefully. Noire had picked up a few instruments, but hadn’t quite reached Brady’s level of talent.

“I was worried about you when your letters stopped coming…” Noire rubbed her eyes, tired, as Severa leaned back in her chair. “But I guess it ended up ok, so I don’t need to worry anymore.”

“Sorry about that.” Severa accepted a cup of coffee from Brady, taking in the scent before she sipped on it slowly. “But I guess you know the reason we had to leave.”

“Yea yea, savin’ a world an’ all that,” Brady waved his hand in dismissal before he sat down too. “Can’t say I woulda done it, but you all had more gusto than I ever could.”

“I think anyone would have helped if they were in the situation…”

“Did it help you at all though, Severa?” Noire asked with a quiet voice, causing Severa to look up with a hint of confusion on her face. Noire shook her head, looking away. “It’s just that… You seem different. Somehow.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m trying to settle down… But I don’t know if it’s the right thing for me… The right path.” She sighed and rubbed her shoulders as Brady raised an eyebrow. “It’s just… I feel like I should be doing something more… I feel so empty, so useless, just… there’s something missing, and I feel like I can’t stay still because of it.”

“You don’t need ta feel like you ever havta settle down, Severa,” Brady sighed as he leaned back, causing her to look up at him. He shrugged and looked to the side. “We’re not livin like this because we hafta. We’re doin this because we wanna. Livin live slowly, calmly… It’s not something you hafta force yourself to do, and it’s not a bad thing either.”

“You shouldn’t force yourself to do things, Severa… Not like you had to before.”

Severa exhaled slowly, letting her arms slide down her sides. “I had to force myself to leave Jakob thoughj… And now that I’ve done that… I feel like I have no purpose…”

“Well, what is purpose anyway?” Brady murmured, trying to raise her mood in some sort of fashion. “Who knows what we’re here for? All we can do is push ahead, make our own destiny. You knew that. He knew that.”

“What you do now will determine your own purpose. You’ll always have one, so please don’t be so upset Severa…” Noire smiled thinly. “You always have us. Your family. The others. Maybe you have pain, but everyone does. Everyone still lives their lives. So please… live your own as well.”

Severa let the words roll around in her head as she traveled back to her family’s house, wondering just when Noire had gotten so philosophical.

“We really have all changed, huh?”

When she returned, a pile of wood and other building materials surprised her, until Lon’qu explained that he had gone ahead and finished the base of her house, creating a stable platform for it to rest upon. “Basilio requested he help out with at least this, and I couldn’t deny him…”

“Well, I’m thankful,” Severa smiled at her father, almost forced, and gazed back at the prepared wood. “He was like a grandfather to me after all, up until his death.”

“I’m thankful too that Lucina was able to prevent that,” he breathed out, and she dipped her head.

The next month was spent carefully piecing together the framework of the house and Severa welcomed the distraction. Luna deemed it appropriate that she too help and spent some time sorting out nails and pieces of wood (Cordelia told Severa that would help with memorization) while Severa and her father worked on piecing it all together. Severa was proud of the general shape of the house, though sometimes she stayed up late, staring at the blueprint, and wondered why she had made it so… big and empty.

Maybe it was some hope inside of her that she would eventually have someone else to fill it with, but the thought caused her to shed more tears, so she shoved it away, along with the paper, and decided to merely continue mindlessly working.

Lon’qu and Cordelia didn’t seem to notice that she still hadn’t really moved on, or maybe they figured that she would take her time with it, as they never pushed her to ignore those thoughts (when she shared she had them, anyway, which was rare as it was) or told her that she would never see Jakob again so forgetting those memories would be better.

Really, she didn’t deserve parents like these. She only wished that she could have greater appreciated the time she spent with them when she was younger.

It was hard to work through the snow sometimes and they hadn’t completely finished the roof yet, so Severa spent the winter in her parent’s house, entertaining Luna on the days the snow was too bad for building work. Cordelia had sewed a small ‘Kamui dragon’ for her daughter per her request and Severa’s help, and Luna often played with it while Severa told her stories of Nohrian dragons in the past, tales she had learned from Camilla, Elise, and Leo. One night, she told her the story of Kamui’s birth, and Luna had gone to bed babbling about alternate worlds.

Occasionally Cordelia shared how she was worried Severa was instilling a sense of wanderlust into her daughter, but Severa assured her that she’d always had that sense.

“You should have seen me and Cynthia playing when we were younger. You and Sumia would always tell us that it was better we talked about other things, but we were more interested in saving foreign princes and princesses than protecting a king. Luna’s merely interested in dragons while I was a fan of royalty and love novels. Of a sort.” Cordelia teased her about that, but Severa retaliated, saying that if it weren’t for her mother’s books, she never would have had that sense, a contradictory addition.

The hints of spring finally showed forth and, with it, the roof of Severa’s house finally came into form. Lon’qu patted the last wood plank as he gave a satisfied smile. “Seems sturdy enough, but we’ll have to get it covered. It should hold up against the normal snowstorms we get each year, though.” She’d be too far away from her parent’s house to reach them accurately in the event of a terrible blizzard, so they had incorporated sturdy design into it, much like her old childhood house.

“It’s looking very pretty,” Cordelia commented while Luna agreed with her childish enthusiasm. “Once we get everything finalized, we can start painting and getting some furniture built.”

It only took a week more to make sure the walls were stable, and Severa finally spent some of her nights alone in her own house. She had brought blankets from Nohr and some of her old ones she had left in Ylisse, and Inigo would be over eventually with some more of her things (since he’d spent some more time in Ylisse with Owain and Cynthia to catch up again).

Sometimes, at night, she would be crushed with the feelings of emptiness that still lingered in her heart, though, unlike before, they didn’t cripple her, and she figured she was finally starting to move on. Maybe she wouldn’t ever marry, but she could at least be happy by herself. She had been happy once, no reason she couldn’t do that again.

Eventually Inigo arrived with her things, though he had naturally showed up to her parent’s house and she had to explain that she had been building a house half an hour or so from there, and they journeyed to the set location.

“Hey, looks nice,” Inigo whistled while gazing around the entrance as Severa set down a bag. “Good job. Nice and roomy.”

“Too roomy,” Severa sighed while she set some more things to the side and Inigo looked at her with a hint of sadness.

“Still haven’t completely moved on, huh? I can’t blame you…” Severa straightened up as he turned to the side, looking out the window on the back wall. “Sometimes I still dream of Xander… Peri… Wondering how they’re doing without me… If the country is ok…”

“Guess all we can ever do now is wonder,” Severa concluded stiffly, and he shrugged.

“At least we know Nohr is in truly good hands.”

He spent the night at her parent’s house, a small storm keeping him from travel, and he and Severa had fun comparing stories while Luna watched with her usual amazement, waving her dragon doll around.

“And then Kamui and Leo used their magic to defeat the evil ninja!” Inigo waved his hands while Severa tilted the stick figure down, mimicking death, and Luna pulled the dragon doll back.

“Yay, I won!”

“Ok Luna, it’s time you sat down for dinner,” Cordelia interrupted quickly, laughing as even Inigo pulled a disappointed face. “Don’t worry, Kamui will be waiting for you. She needs rest too.”

“Ok mommy,” Luna muttered while she stood up, pushing off of the ground with small hands, and Inigo leaned back against the wall while Severa set the other doll aside.

“It’s weird, making games like this…”

“Well, it’s a good way to spread on the word, right?”

Inigo looked over at Severa, but shrugged. “Seems like the people never really died if we tell it this way.”

“Maybe it’s better like that, then. A way to pass on.”

He left the next morning, sharing with Luna that, if she should ever want to, he would be pleased to tell her more stories, ones that Severa ‘couldn’t explain as well’ and she laughed while Severa bristled and made to slap Inigo.

The grey storm clouds were slowly flowing away, and Severa couldn’t help but feel light at the thought.

Winter slowly fading into spring, though the occasional snow flurry still graced Ferox. Severa decided to spend a few more nights at her parent’s house after Luna expressed her wish to spend more time with her before she ‘moved away’. Though, it wasn’t like Severa’s house was furnished or anything, she didn’t even have chairs and a table yet, though Lon’qu explained that it would likely be done soon, especially if Severa kept up with her steady job.

Severa looked up from the stew, sun glinting off of the ground, while Luna sat at the table and played with her two dragon dolls, Grima quickly being destroyed by Kamui’s power. Severa vaguely listened to her adventures while she added some spices, the combinations Jakob had taught her, and took a sip. “Do you think you’d like this Nohrian soup, Luna? It’s specially made.”

“Yea, it’s what Kamui liked, so I’ll like it.” Luna smashed her Grima doll on the table, screams from the ‘dragon’ slowly dimming, followed by Kamui’s triumphant roar. “Look, Kamui killed Grima! She’s the best.”

“Aw, I thought I was the best, Luna.”

“You’re the best with a sword, Auntie. Kamui’s the best as a dragon.”

“Well, I suppose your friend Nah isn’t strong enough yet to be a great dragon.”

“Yea, Nah can’t fly yet, but she said she’s close.”

She didn’t know if Luna knew about the future Nah, but she didn’t want to complicate that, so she merely left that be. “What about Nowi? Isn’t she a cool dragon? Or Tiki?”

“I don’t know Tiki, and Nowi is better at playing than fighting. That’s what she said.” Luna moved the stuffed animals to attack each other again and Severa turned back to the stew, wondering when Cordelia would be back from the sudden meeting. Maybe in two hours, if she was lucky.

A sudden knock on the door startled Severa from her thoughts, and Luna paused in her play, dragons hovering in the air, and Severa narrowed her eyes. Lon’qu wouldn’t be back until sundown and Cordelia still wouldn’t be back, not since she had only left an hour or so earlier. Severa gestured to Luna. “Have you invited anyone over?”

“No, Cynthia’s not coming until next week, so it’s not her.”

Brigands, then. They may have seen the solitary house as easy pickings. Severa sighed and made her way over to the door, slowly, and grabbed the sword that Lon’qu always left propped up against the hinge. It felt natural in her hand, something that she hoped Luna would never have to feel, and she grabbed the door handle and slowly opened it, growing more confident as she heard the person in question step back and not forward in aggression. As the wood swung solidly, completely to the left, Severa felt her heart drop and her mouth opened in surprise as her eyes widened, sword hanging uselessly to her side.

In front of her appeared to be… Jakob. In the flesh. Though the person in front of her seemed to hold the same stature, same height, same face, there was no realistic way this person could be Jakob. Surely it had to be some sort of a trick; his hair was longer than this, it wasn’t even touching his neck, and the front was styled in a way where he was absent the usual bangs.

Surely there was no way this was the real Jakob… right? Her heartbeat increased at the thought of it being otherwise, reminiscing back on the nights and nights she had spent sobbing, alone, clutching that ribbon of his as she thought on a world that could not be hers.

She breathed through her mouth slowly, watching as he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed for a reason she couldn’t determine, and didn’t meet her eye. “Well… It… certainly has been forever and a day, hasn’t it?” He turned back to look at her and, in that moment, this real reality finally set into her mind. The sword clattered to the ground as she practically leapt at him and caused him to take a few unsure steps backwards as she wrapped her arms around him, holding back a cry, burying her face into his shoulder as the tears finally slipped from her eyes. Her fingers found purchase in his shirt, a comforting feeling, and she felt his body move under hers as he too found balance, arms wrapping around her back.

“Jakob… Jakob… I can’t… I can’t believe…” She let out a sob, face pushing further into his shoulder as her voice broke. “I missed you so much…” She felt him hold her steady as she almost lost her balance, and he sighed against her ears, running his hand along her back. “How did you…?”

“Lady Kamui and I had once traveled to this world, trying to protect it from a small outbreak of shadowed monsters… When we returned to see if it had truly been damaged, we ran into Owain.” He chuckled, rubbing circles into her back, and she let out another sob. “He was certainly surprised to see us, though we felt just the same.” He held in a sob of his own and held her tighter, voice constricted. “Gods, Severa, I missed you too… so much…”

“I never thought I’d see you again… Surely this must be a dream…”

“If this is a dream, I wish never to wake,” Jakob whispered against her skin, and Severa sniffed. “The months without you were among the longest and bleakest of my life… I feared I would never recover… I feared I would be less of a person for the remainder of my days…”

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry that it had to be like this…” Severa sobbed against his shoulder, but couldn’t help a smile from forming on her face. “But now… Now that I’ve seen you again… It feels like things make sense again…”

“I suppose asking you to move on was too much on my part…” Jakob murmured against her ear, but she shook her head.

“No, it was realistic… Not like seeing each other again… Heh,” she chuckled, leaning back to look into his eyes, tear-stained and brilliantly violet. “This is… such a miracle.”

“It is a miracle I will gladly accept with the entirety of my being…”

Their embrace was broken by Luna taking a step forward, her footsteps sounding on the wood, and Severa pulled back to turn around, wiping her eyes as she did so. “Auntie? Are you ok?” Luna sniffed a few times, probably scared by Severa’s tears, and Severa smiled, shaking her head as she knelt down and hugged Luna.

“Oh, Luna, I’m more than ok. You don’t need to worry.”

“You said ‘Jakob’. Is he the one from the stories?” Luna looked up at the man as Severa pulled away, rising to her full height again before she turned to throw him a glance over her shoulder.

“Yes.” She smiled at him, eyes finally holding the calm and confidence they had from years past. “Yes he is.” Jakob tilted his head at that, eyes narrowing with confusion and intrigue, but Severa waved her hand.

“Do mommy and daddy know him?”

“I suppose they will once they come back.” She clasped his hand once as he walked through the doorway, and she left him and Luna to their stories as she slowly finished the meal.

Severa’s prediction ended up being correct, as Cordelia arrived home a few hours later, shocked that her daughter (well, her future daughter) deemed it in her interest to rest her head on some random person’s shoulder, not so much that there was a random person in her house in the first place. It took some explaining to do, but since Severa had provided enough information about her Nohrian travels, Cordelia fit the pieces together cleanly enough.

“Thank the gods you were able to somehow make your way to this place,” Cordelia sighed, resting her cheeks in her hands. “Severa was practically falling apart. I could hear it in her voice whenever she mentioned you.”

“M-mother!” Severa leaned back, slightly appalled, and hid her face behind her hands.

“What? You said so yourself that you were in a relationship, I don’t know how this is abnormal.” Severa didn’t quite know how to rebuke that point, so she merely looked down as Luna continued to play with her dolls. “Anyway, now that we’ve gotten proper introductions down, how are you doing Jakob? Do you need anything? I’m sure the travel has been hard on you, so I hope Severa’s been accommodating.”

“Oh you needn’t worry, I’m capable. Rather,” he smirked and looked toward his girlfriend, “it was she who needed accommodation.”

“Just because I have other things to do doesn’t mean I’m incapable,” Severa sighed as she took a sip of her tea.

“Jakob said Kamui’s even stronger than Severa said. Isn’t that cool, mommy?”

“Very cool. Maybe you’ll even be able to meet Kamui someday,” Cordelia continued, leading Luna down another long discussion about dragons.

Jakob looked at Severa and smiled, the action reaching his eyes, and Severa chuckled. “I’ll admit, I hadn’t expected you to spread tales of Lady Kamui so widely, Severa.”

“It couldn’t be helped. She did kinda help save the world after all. Thanks to me anyway.”

When Lon’qu arrived home later, he froze in the doorway, shocked at seeing someone unknown in his house until Luna ran at his legs, babbling about yet another legendary warrior visiting their home. “Look, it’s Jakob, from Severa’s stories.”

“Oh, so this is the person our daughter wouldn’t stop speaking of,” Lon’qu commented quickly, much to Severa’s embarrassment, as he picked up Luna. “I believe I should also thank you for helping protect her.”

“It was nothing, merely a part of my duty.” Jakob dipped his head as Severa huffed and crossed her arms.

“You say that now…”

“What would you prefer me to say, love?” Severa bristled slightly at the use of the pet name, embarrassment flooding her veins again, and she huffed and turned around.

“At any rate, I’m relieved to see you back to your old self again,” Lon’qu continued as he lifted Luna to his back, busying himself around the meeting room, and Severa let her shoulders sag as she reflected on her attitude the previous year. Had she really been that different? Certainly, Lissa had worried about her mental health, Lon’qu and Cordelia had seemed to tread carefully around her, Lucina and Gerome had expressed their own worries before she left them, Morgan had mentioned her odd word choice in her letters…

Oh gods, she really had been a mess. Could she really not function as a human being without Jakob? The thought slightly scared her, until she calmed herself. She had functioned, certainly, she was still alive after all. She… merely couldn’t be her best without him.

Maybe that was for the better.

“Dinner should be ready soon, thanks to the help of my two brilliant volunteers,” Cordelia mentioned to her husband and he dipped his head once.

“I hope it is to your tastes,” Jakob commented quickly as Lon’qu began making his way over to the table before he set Luna down in her chair. “I am unfortunately unfamiliar with the foods and spices of your land.”

“I’m sure whatever you’ve done will taste fine,” Severa assured him before she began helping her mother with the last preparations. “Besides, my mother wouldn’t let you make anything that tasted horrible.”

“I’m always open for some experimentation,” Cordelia argued lightly before she sat down at the table with her daughter.

“Anyway, let’s eat.”

Later that night, she caught Jakob staring at her for some reason and brought it up.

“Oh, it’s nothing in particular. I just… Didn’t think you’d keep that ribbon for so long.”

Severa paused for a few moments before she touched her hair, done up in a ponytail for ease of comfort, and let out a noise of realization. “Oh. What, did you think I was just going to throw it away? It was…” She paused and swallowed thickly. “It was the last thing I had to remind myself of you after all…”

He didn’t respond right away and merely pulled up the edge of his sleeve to reveal her own two ribbons, neatly braided and looped around his wrist. At the sight of it, she felt a sort of calming tremor echo through her heart and her eyes widened slightly. “I too couldn’t remove the thought of you from my mind…” He let the fabric slide back to its original position and leaned back. “It somehow comforts me that you were the same.”

She blushed, but accepted a kiss on her cheek, burying her head into his shoulder afterwards as she muttered some random words to fight off the embarrassment before her mother commented on young love and Severa retorted by outright ignoring her.

Though he spent the first night at her parent’s house, Lon’qu deemed it appropriate for the two to migrate to Severa’s house for the coming days. “Certainly your living arrangements aren’t quite ready, but it should be done with little more work. Just don’t… try anything funny.”

“Father… I appreciate your concern, but I am an adult,” Severa countered, face already read, as she watched Jakob prepare his things, saddling his horse up farther away. “I think he’ll be able to help out with things anyway, at least when it comes to fabrics.”

Lon’qu sighed once before he glanced out to Jakob again, face falling to a more neutral expression. “I suppose you really are an adult, now. Though, since I am your father, I must still caution Jakob that if he break your heart, I will see to it personally that you are avenged.”

“Yes, father, you don’t need to worry about him or me. Luna’s the one you still have to protect, anyway,” Severa teased, giving her father one last hug before she prepared her own horse.

As she pushed open her door, Jakob following close behind, it felt proper in some sort of strange, ethereal way that she couldn’t pin down with words. Fitting, perhaps. Maybe predetermined. It felt more comfortable still as he embraced her in bed that night, warming her through the chilly Ferox night.

“I suppose it’s colder her than in Nohr, but you’re so hot it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m flattered, but you’re cold as ice, so I guess it balances out.”

He placed a kiss on her neck before he eventually fell into a deep slumber and Severa merely spent her own time before rest burning his face into her memory again.

Though, of course, this time, there would be no need. She would wake up in the morning and he would no longer be a mere figment of her dreams and overactive imagination.

It would be real.

Eventually, spring fully settled in the country and subtle hints of summer fell forth. Near the middle, Jakob traveled on his own back to Nohr for some updates, but promised he would be back as soon as he could.

“I know you’re unable to travel with me at this time since your family is busy and Luna needs the help… But I promise I’ll return. I swear by it.”

“You don’t need to be so serious, I know you’ll try your hardest.” Severa kissed him on his cheek, pulling back to look into his eyes again. “Just make sure you get letters from everyone, ok? The least they could do is respond after all.”

Jakob laughed at that and the two parted with good feelings, though Severa couldn’t help but count the days and weeks until his return again, and apparently even little Luna could sense her anxiety.

“Are you and Jakob married?” Luna asked one bright afternoon, crops swaying in the light breeze, and Severa held her blush back as long as she could feasibly do so.

“N-no… Did someone say that to you?”

“I just thought when people love each other a lot they get married. That’s what mommy and daddy said.” Luna smushed her grima plush into the table as her Naga plush and Kamui plush cheered on the side. “Will you be married?”

“I… I don’t know… I hadn’t thought about it,” Severa muttered, hoping to end the conversation sooner rather than later.

It was sort of a lie, but it held a grain of truth. While Severa hadn’t thought about them holding a wedding or being married in that sense, she did wonder what it would be like to have that sort of official flavor. But she would be too embarrassed to bring it up to him, not like this. She was fine just being as she was right now, and he seemed the same. There would be no reason to change anything, not now.

“But you live together.”

“W-well, Jakob’s not from here, he needs somewhere to stay, right Luna?”

“I guess.” Luna leaned back in her chair as Severa continued putting the rest of the dishes away. “What do you do? Do you have jobs?”

“Jakob serves Kamui, so he’ll be doing that in Nohr. I… I don’t do much. I’m really good at fighting, but there’s no need to fight now, not like before.”

“Oh. Maybe you could help uncle Basilio instead of daddy so that I can see him more. Uncle Basilio likes you too, so it would be ok.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about that. But before I do, you need to start on your reading, Luna.”

“…Fine…”

By the time Jakob returned with letters and goodwill from her friends, everything had basically fallen into place. Severa herself had fallen into a pattern of picking up small hobbies that she had only touched previously (like chess once again, some more sewing, reading) and suggested a few things that Jakob could do that were outside of his natural skills, things that didn’t at all pertain to serving or working for someone else. Outside of that, she did indeed start helping Basilio, using information she had learned from her own future to help stable growth and development for relations with Plegia (they were already solidly aligned with Ylisse, after all) and Severa and Jakob even traveled to the desert country at one point, observing the efficiency of the harbors so that the new king could busy himself with the more political aspects of the realm. Jakob hadn’t ever been in such a place, and Severa ended up having a great time watching him struggle with new traditions and regions, though of course she helped him through it all. She wasn’t that cruel.

Eventually, it hardly seemed like they had ever been separated, the new memories eventually replacing the old, bitter ones she had developed in her first year back at her own world. It felt… perfect. Like this was the way things were supposed to be. Severa supposed she had to thank both Naga and Anankos for granting her these opportunities. Not only could she live in her world that she had saved from destruction, she could do so with the person she had fallen in love with. It was horribly cliché and cheesy, but hey, it worked for her, so she would stick with it to the end.

The Ferox summer, while brief, eventually faded to fall and she and Jakob would spend most of their evenings gazing at the sunset, mildly wondering if their allies in Nohr could see the same sun.

“Seems like Owain and Cynthia have had the time of their lives in Nohr, if his letter is anything to go by,” Severa sighed while reading over the latest paper from her descriptive friend. “Seems like she and Peri also get along… It’s kinda remarkable, how much she’s changed…”

“Yes, she prefers to stick with cooking now. It’s good that she’s set down her lance in favor of her more favorable skill,” Jakob murmured, rather absentmindedly, as Severa thought back on the cavalier’s development.

“I wonder what would have happened if Xander hadn’t recruited her?”

“I assume she would have eventually offed her father due to his negligence.”

“Ugh, that’s negative.” Severa set the letter to the side and unfolded Kamui’s message. “Aw, Kamui sent a picture of Siegbert! Elise’s drawing skills have gotten a lot better.”

“He certainly takes after his mother, that’s for sure,” Jakob commented again, still rather emotionally distant, causing Severa to raise an eyebrow, but she continued on reading. “Well, it’s good that Xander and Charlotte are finally getting along. I was worried there for a second when I left, it seemed like they were still on eggshells.”

“Their personalities clash in some aspects, but they do still love each other. They both want what’s best for the people of Nohr, and their ideals also work cleanly.”

Kamui made some mentions of her relationship with Leo, hoping that her retainer was likewise treating Severa well, which brought a blush of embarrassment to her cheeks. Even now, Kamui worried about his interactions with others and whether or not he was being friendly. She was almost like a mother, even if the two friends had equally terrible experience in developing a stable mental wellbeing. At least they both seemed to be growing in that aspect.

“I believe King Xander is also pushing Lady Kamui and Prince Leo to have a child as well, but I know at least Prince Leo seemed hesitant. He was more impacted by the warring of the mistresses than Xander was, at least on a psychological level,” Jakob commented as Severa set the letter to the side and moved to Niles’s short statements.

“Really? I didn’t think him the pushy type, not in states like that.” She peeled open the letter as Jakob shrugged.

“He’s worried about the Nohrian line. On some level he worries about the sort of country he will be leaving behind. He likes to cut off loose ends.”

So he was worried about his son’s survival and the line of Nohr, then. Severa believed the child would be safe, especially since Anankos was dead and King Takumi seemed to be running Hoshido well, but she wouldn’t stop him from believing anything. Preparation was best after all.

“From what I’ve heard of my times in Hoshido, the royal court is also pushing King Takumi to marriage, though he seems hesitant for a reason I cannot define…”

“Well,” Severa figured, turning to face him, “I don’t think I’d want to be forced into marriage either. Especially not with someone I didn’t love.”

“Marriage…” The words seemed strange and foreign on his lips and Severa wondered if he was struggling with something. She shifted again, steadying herself, as Jakob looked to the side, debating something with equal silence. “What… What is your stance on marriage?”

“Can’t say I have much of one, never done it. I’ve never been to a wedding either, other than Kamui’s, since my world was pretty destroyed by the time I was able to really comprehend things like that.” She crossed her arms behind her head and leaned back. “All I remember are the traditions in books and the things that my mom told me.”

“I suppose Ylissean and Nohrian traditions are very distinct,” Jakob mused, hand brushing his jaw, and Severa nodded, agreeing.

“I think Ylissean traditions are more… loose, while a proper Nohrian wedding is definitely… stiffer. At least from what I’ve heard. Kamui and Leo’s wedding was abnormal, considering the circumstances.” Jakob seemed even more nervous from that for some reason and Severa narrowed her eyes. “Is something wrong? A bad message?”

“No… No, purely the opposite…” He inhaled once before breathing out again and Severa could hear the tremor in his voice. “It is… merely hard to push myself to do some things…”

“Well, if you need help I can give you tips. Or help. Whatever works.” Severa stood up to stretch, setting Niles’s letter to the side. “If this is about returning to Nohr, I wouldn’t mind visiting with you, though we’d probably have to plan farther ahead.”

“I suppose that would be a good plan of action… After this.” Jakob stood up from his seat as well, moving so that he could stand in front of her as she tilted her head in confusion. He looked to the side, unwilling to meet her gaze for one reason or another, before he inhaled slowly, steeling himself. He slowly knelt onto one knee, bending his head for a brief second, seemingly gathering further thoughts, before he looked up at her again and she took a surprised step back.

“J-Jakob…?”

He exhaled once, his expression slowly becoming more determined, and she lowered her hand to her side again as he began to speak. “I’d honestly never intended on becoming attached to anyone. I had believed that all I needed was Lady Kamui, a friend who I could live for, someone who loved me for me. With this blindness, I missed everything else around me. My army members, my fellow retainers, even the royal family. But… you held me accountable for this. You helped me learn just what it means to have allies, friends, people you would do the world for. I can never thank you enough for this. You’ve helped me become a better person, someone I can be proud of, someone who deserves to walk by your side.” He smiled, eyes closed, as Severa slowly began processing the situation, eyes wide. “Watching your growth from a closed off mercenary to someone who truly connects with her allies was a transition that I cherished, though admittedly perhaps not at the time.” He smiled at that and she felt her neck grow hot with a forming blush. “Over the months, the years… I’ve grown to love you so much. Though I denied it at first, I will do so no longer, as I no longer hold fear. Just as how I protected you then, I would be honored to continue to do so… and live with you for the rest of my days. As equals… As friends… as lovers…” He closed his eyes, breathing out once sharply, and slowly removed a ring from his breast pocket. Severa’s mouth fell open, barely, and a thin breath escaped her lungs as she moved her hand over her heart. “Severa… Would you do me the honor… of marrying me?”

Her spine stiffened, almost on reflex, as the situation presented before her finally hit her heart full on, and she covered her mouth with her hand as tears started to form in her eyes, cheeks growing hot.

As a young girl, she had always dreamed of becoming married, finding someone she could trust just like those characters in Sumia’s books, just like how her mother and father got along, just like everyone around her seemed to be doing.

She had always given up on that hope, time and time again; first when the world became a land of chaos and death, second when she had traveled to the past and thrown herself away, third again when she journeyed to Nohr, destined to give it up again. Eventually, her heart hardened and she convinced herself that finding ‘that special someone’ would simply never happen. At least she could live by herself comfortably, she repeated like a mantra. Even when she met Jakob, she hadn’t imagined this sort of outcome, though perhaps no one else had either. Even when she found herself falling in love with him, she never dreamed of this result.

Now that it had laid itself in front of her, all she could do was cry at the sheer luck of it.

Really, how could she hate life when something like this was happening?

“S-severa, please don’t cry, I’m sorry…” Jakob stood up sharply, worry already blooming on his face, but she shook her head, mouth still covered.

“No… It’s fine… I’m just… so happy…” She held back a sob, rubbing her tears from her eyes.

“Happy…? So you…?” Before he could continue further with his elated tone, she nodded her head twice, tears falling down her cheeks as she slowly let her hand fall.

“Yes… I would love to marry you, Jakob. I accept.”

Only then did tears come to his eyes as well as she took the ring, sliding it onto her finger before holding his hands tight, kissing his fingertips.

“I will never stop loving you, Jakob. I too hope to spend the rest of my days with you.” He smiled, eyes shining, and kissed her, hand moving to the back of his neck to steady himself or her, she couldn’t tell. The cool metal against her skin grounded her and she clasped his hand fully in hers.

Really, Severa hadn’t expected any of this.

But she would welcome it with open arms.

 

* * *

 

Confident Swordsman, Owain

Owain traveled to Nohr at least once a year from his home in Ylisse, bringing a new friend almost every time to spread tales of grandeur about his travels, while also helping Prince Leo with whatever new adventure he had to offer. Though he never settled in one place for long, it is thought that he eventually married Cynthia and raised a new generation of hopeful seekers.

Flirtatious Advisor, Inigo

Though Inigo visited Nohr less than his counterparts, he never ignored a friend in need, especially when King Xander had questions about romantic affairs. Though it is unknown if he ever married, it is certain that he was loved by all of his friends, Ylissean and Nohrian, and his own travels have been spread as legends.

Living in a Miracle, Severa and Jakob

After the bridge to Ylisse was discovered, Severa and Jakob made many trips between both realms, solidifying inter-world relations and helping out with any troubles Nohr had to offer. Many testaments were made of their love, though none stuck more than first-person documentations. Their travels and journeys were spread as valiant tales of discovery and perseverance and have since faded to legend, inspiring many generations of Nohrians and Ylisseans to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying as I write this, honestly. Where do I even begin? So much has happened over the course of these 13 months that it reminds me just how brief and yet lasting life is. Somehow, I was able to convey all of this into writing, even if the earlier stages do need some work.  
> I never expected loving Severa and Jakob as much as I did. I saw their faults, sure, but I think I was able to expand on these and help them become better characters, better people, just as how I've become a better person through writing this. I've been able to see how people act and react, hopefully become nicer, and I've become more confident in myself. Just as how Severa and Jakob suffered through hardships, I did as well, but just like them I also rose above it. I too have grown older and matured.  
> I'm honored to have had you guys reading this. I'm so lucky to have people sticking with me through to the end, especially during that period of hiatus. I honestly love this story from the bottom of my heart. Sure, it probably means different things to different people, but I hope each person can discover what that is.  
> I've realized my love of these characters so much I'll be working on an original story that reprises them. I don't know when this will be complete, but I've always been a fan of fantasy writing and I'd like to explore this more in depth. This will definitely be changed, but these characters and what they mean to me will remain. I look forward to that next adventure.  
> As far as sequels... Well, Selena and Jakob are... done. Their story has been told. But, Elise and Takumi still have things to do. Lucina, Gerome, and Morgan have had quite the adventure. There's also a bunch of small instances that I'd like to put out as oneshots. This world still has potential, and I'd like to return to it in at least a small form. But for now, I'll be taking a break and work on developing my own world more.  
> Wow... I just can't believe it's done. As I wrote the last sentence, I could feel my shoulders drop. This is the first decent, lengthy thing that I've ever finished, and I couldn't be prouder.  
> Perseverance is rewarding.  
> And I hope you'll stick around for more in the future.  
> Happy reading!


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